The Gift of Resilience - Re-Vamped
by KNeu21
Summary: (RV2)S to 'TGoMisfortune'-Set during NM:RE-VAMPED VERSION! After waking up from a vision to find herself not only back to where she started, Leandra learns how to begin rebuilding the relationships she couldn't live without, and struggling to recall the details. While trying to avoid becoming the monster she fears she is destined to become. COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Okaaaay. Here we go yet again, my darlings. The first chapter beginning A/N. Let's see.  
Heads up!  
****This story is rated 'M' and for a reason. There will be themes throughout this story that do call for this rating, but I will put an 'ImPORTANT NOTE' at the top of the chapter if it heads down a darker path. Just as a heads up to keep an eye open for that one.  
****DiSCLAIMER!  
****No part of The Twilight Saga is my property. I don't claim it to be. I never have, and I never will. All I own is Leandra, and the rest of the little people you don't recognize from SM's work. I only mix the two sometimes. Sometimes they play well together, other times, not so much. Both are very entertaining.  
****Okay. Now that that wonderful stuff is over with, let's get down to business.**

**Chapter One**

"Serves you right."

The sight of Josh hitting the grass after attempting to stand on a soccer ball was priceless. Zack and I applauded him, which was only part of the joke.

"It even ran away after it kicked your ass." Zack gestured to the ball that had rolled away. That had both of us only laughing harder. Josh, pushing himself up, was laughing too. Indication that he was alright.

There was one good thing about living where I did. There were actually many good things about living where I did, and this was just one of them. I could see the boys a lot. Nearly as often as I wanted to, aside from the almost-sunny and sunny days. Nobody had a single problem with me wanting to see them, considering Carlisle knew Heather from work, and Heather sure wasn't complaining. I was pretty positive at this point that if I didn't have someone to miss me, she'd have stolen me herself.

My bruises had finally healed, and the only thing that hurt me now were the memories. Those wouldn't heal so easily. Those would be around awhile.

It was still a new experience for me, living bruise free, but I was still learning. I never knew how easy it could be to move before. How easy it could be to not have to worry about Jack's mood, or worry about whether or not I'd see him later that night.

I was still learning how to not panic at the slightest unexpected movement, and how to not hesitate in saying what I wanted to say. How to sleep through the night, nightmares aside. How to eat every day, and actually not have to worry if it would last me several days. How to have good moods, and how to take jokes Emmett threw my way.

Zack and Josh were helping with that. Without even trying, they were taking my uptight and skittish nature, and smoothing it out. They were almost never serious about anything, the complete opposite of me, so by their example, I could see how it should be and adjust myself little bits at a time. That was probably why nobody had any objections about me seeing them. That, and it gave them a break from my constant human scent.

I was always as well-behaved as I could be regardless. I tried as hard as I could to keep them from regretting taking me in a few months back. As far as I could tell, it was working.

I had yet to hear anything from my mom, which was just fine with me. I hoped she was miserable wherever she was.

My dad was saving this month's visit for two days from now, when I turned ten. I was a little nervous this visit, as he mentioned bringing his wife and daughter along with him so I could officially meet them.

Despite how well things were going for me, and how hard I tried to ignore them, the nightmares stayed. They were relentless, always there whether I was awake or asleep. Keeping me in a constant state of exhaustion, often to the point where I could fall asleep really anywhere I rested if I wasn't careful.

I hadn't a clue about where Jack or Ken were, but then again, I never really asked. I couldn't bring myself to. My dreams and terrifying nightmares at night told me that nothing yet had changed, despite it having been almost four months.

I just had to do the best I could. Which involved watching Josh and Zack hurt themselves in one way or another, or hurt each other in some made up, light-hearted quarrel. I didn't mind that so much. It never got serious, not once, and apologies were given immediately the second someone actually got hurt.

To me, the pair of them seemed more like best friends than brothers. They just happened to live in the same house, and had the same parents.

Zack constantly kept his dark brown hair longer than Josh's, which was quickly becoming an irritating fact to Heather. I assured her once that when Zack's hair got as long as mine, I'd hold him down while she cut it. That wouldn't be for awhile, though, since it only barely reached the middle of his neck.

Josh took his mother's eye color, dark ice blue, while Zack took his father's cloudy gray blue. I never realized before how different blue eyes could be. Other than that, though, they looked quite alike, and they both had quite a ways to go when it came to maturity, which was what I liked most about them.

They had such a simple way of looking at everything, where I considered everything so carefully and completely. To them, things were the way things were, and that was it. I often pointed things out to them that they never would have even noticed before, but sometimes, they did the same for me.

I still had my moments, my bad days where I really didn't want anything to do with anyone. The days where the nightmares, both asleep and awake, were harder than other days. Things I remembered, things I couldn't forget no matter how hard I tried. Images, thoughts burned into my memory and that would stay there for as long as I lived. Memories of my not-so-distant past that would stay. Those were hard, but I couldn't get passed the feeling that it'd only get harder.

The only one that seemed to really understand was Jasper. He was always watching, waiting for one of those bad days, where I suffered more than others. I'd had a few of those bad days, usually after a night of constant sleeplessness, afraid of what I'd see when I actually did fall asleep. I hated relying on him so much, though. With him constantly feeling like he needed to be around, it pushed his tolerance of my scent.

I was human. He wasn't. That was a problem.

Today, however, was an okay day. Not great, but okay. I'd gotten at least a few hours of sleep the night before, so I didn't feel so isolated today. The boys were always up for a visit from me, it seemed, so that was a real plus.

So there we sat, outside their house waiting for Alice to pick me up. It was a warmer day, considering it was toward the end of summer. Mid July. The rain didn't fall today, the clouds high and wispy, which meant Alice would probably show up in Carlisle's car, or not show up until after the sun was in a safer position. An extra half hour of time here wasn't disappointing to me.

Josh retrieved the escaped soccer ball, and sat down next to me.

"Show me how you did that." I requested, and he gave me a look.

"So.." Josh prompted, "What are you doing for your birthday?" Yuck. The question I both expected and dreaded. This subject, though, wasn't as dreaded as one other, but I'd always hated my birthday. It was a horrible day every year, so I had no idea what to expect this year.

"No idea." I muttered, "I hope nothing. I think I'm the only one not excited for it."

"Why aren't you?" He asked, "Come on. You're probably gonna get tons of stuff." As if that made up for everything.

"I don't need stuff." I replied, "I have everything I need."

"Mom wants us to ask you what you want." Zack pointed out, inspecting a blade of grass in his fingers. Josh reached out and smacked him, "Ow."

"Subtle." Josh grumbled.

"Tell her I don't need anything." I muttered, "She knows that more than anyone." Which was probably true. Heather, the boys' mother, knew Jack probably even better than I did. She was his sister, having survived sixteen years with him and their even worse father Ken.

"There's a difference between something you need, and something you want." Zack reminded me, reaching over and stealing the ball from Josh.

"Not to me." I frowned, "I'm happy with what I have, thank you very much."

"Think about it this way." He told me, "If you had a choice between ice cream or broccoli, which would you choose?" That made no sense to me.

"What does-"

"Which one?" He insisted, rolling the ball back and forth between his hands.

"Depends on my mood." I replied, "I don't like ice cream all the time." Which was true. I was _still_ getting used to being able to eat every day, much less have something like ice cream. It was good, but not good enough to have all the time.

He sighed, "Okay, which would you choose if you were in the mood for ice cream?" That was a little clearer of a question.

"Could I have it?" I asked, and he frowned, "Well, I can't exactly have ice cream for breakfast, can I?"

He sighed again, "Okay. Which one would you choose if you were in the mood for ice cream, and you were allowed to have it?"

"See, I need details." Josh chuckled at my response. Zack groaned quietly in frustration, flopping onto his back. I caught the ball as it tried to escape with his action, "What? I like broccoli." Which was also true.

"What don't you like?"

"Not much." I answered honestly, "And seriously. Why couldn't I have both?"

"You get what I'm trying to say, right?" Zack asked, sitting back up.

"Yeah, yeah." I muttered with a sigh, "I get it, but it's true. I don't really want anything. I have everything I've ever wanted in my life now. Why would I want more? That's just nuts."

I'd never actually gotten up the nerve to explain the real reason I was with the Cullens. I never told them exactly why I needed to be there. They assumed, made up their own reason, and I never felt the need to correct them.

They figured the whole reason I was with the Cullens was because Jack ran off, probably to go find my mom, and that was partially true. They didn't understand, though, why I ran from Ken that day in California, and that was a question I always avoided with a passion. Not that they ever really questioned. They'd wondered, sure, but they didn't question. Which was why I appreciated their presence so much, even though it involved their uncle and grandfather.

Zack sighed, "I'll just tell her to get you a turtle." We all looked over as Carlisle's car pulled up to the curb. The sun was effectively hidden, down enough for the evening, so I knew whoever had come could come out for a behavior report from Heather.

"Why?" I frowned at Zack, almost repulsed by the idea.

"Turtles are awesome." He replied, "And it'll give you something to play with when you're at home." To my surprise, Carlisle himself had come to pick me up. I'd been expecting Alice to show up like usual.

Seeing him pull up in front of the house, Heather decided to meet him outside. Stepping from the front door, giving me a smile as I looked over, and greeting Carlisle.

"I have Emmett." I shook my head, returning to the discussion, "He's way better than some stupid turtle any day. He doesn't live in a box and three inches of water."

"Have you ever seen a turtle eat lettuce?" Zack asked, shocked, "Nothing tops that." I smirked to myself, shaking my head. Of course, he was clueless. Just how it should be, I knew, but I honestly wondered how they'd react if I were to tell them. I felt like I knew them well enough to know that they'd probably laugh, and shake their heads. Not believing one word of it, so even if I accidentally did let something slip, they'd just figure it was my imagination again.

Josh stole the soccer ball from where it rested in my hands, and bounced it forcefully off of Zack's head. I caught it before it could escape again. Having to stretch up high to do so, I was once again reminded to be grateful of being bruise-free.

"Josh." Heather corrected, not happy with that. He glanced at her, but continued to talk to us.

"Yeah, Josh." I laughed, "Soccer balls are not weapons."

"She said no turtles." Josh chuckled at Zack's reaction, him sitting there and rubbing his forehead with the palm of his hand, "Tell mom to get you one."

"Ask her." I corrected quietly, "You shouldn't tell her to do anything." That was just rude. Heather was an awesome mom, and they didn't need to be demanding anything from her. Zack stole the ball from me, holding it again.

"You have to do it." Zack told him, ignoring what I said, "If I tell her, she won't do it."

"Fine." Josh sighed, "I'll tell her you want a turtle for Christmas."

"Tell her my birthday is next week." Zack shook his head, "Christmas is too far away."

"I think she knows what day you were born, dummy." Josh muttered, looking down at the finger-full of grass he'd just pulled up, "After all, she was the one that did it, so she kind of had to be there."

"Ew." Zack bounced the ball off of Josh's head next.

I ducked quickly as it forcefully bounced back the way it came and nearly hit me, but it hit Zack in the face instead, and he flopped back again with a grunt of pain. Holding both hands over his face, he started laughing first. I was laughing too hard to breathe seconds later, much less try to retrieve the ball that had rolled away. I imagined it giggle, but that was probably just me.

"Really?" Heather barked from the side.

"Did that really just happen?" I had to ask as both of them rubbed their wounds. Josh joined us in laughter, despite him getting hit first. I was sure it was worth it for him to see that, even if it was just a quick glimpse.

"It's not my fault Josh has a weird shaped head." Zack sat back up, and I could see the light pink shade of his right upper cheek where the ball hit. Heather and Carlisle had stepped over, and Heather confiscated the wayward ball, holding it under one arm with a shake of her head.

"_Please_." I laughed, "Do that again. That was one of the funniest things I've ever seen, and I didn't even get to see it." I'd been too busy ducking to see the actual impact.

"No thanks." Josh laughed, standing up. I followed him, knowing it was about time to go.

"Lucky you have such a hard head." I pointed out at Zack as he stood up last, "Maybe you do need a sturdy pet. A turtle, or crab or something."

"So are you saying Emmett is your pet?" Zack asked.

"No," I replied, "I'm just saying that I don't need a pet with Emmett around. There's a difference."

"Not really." Zack chuckled, and I swiped to hit him, but he ducked. I moved to chase him, but he turned, running off. I stole the ball from Josh, who'd stolen it from his mom, and I threw it as hard as I could Zack's direction. It missed, unfortunately, but it was funny all the same as it bounced off the grass and got stuck in the bush.

He stopped running and laughed as he turned back around.

"I need better aim." I called to him, and he grinned. I also didn't really try. The last thing I needed was to attempt hitting Zack with the soccer ball, and it fly a completely wrong direction to shatter a window or something.

My goodbye to the boys was brief. I'd probably see them again in a few days, so I wasn't worried about making it last.

"I take it you had a nice time?" Carlisle asked as we left their house behind.

"Yeah." I sighed, calming down from laughing so much, "I always do."

He smiled a little, "I'm glad."

"I thought Alice was picking me up today?" I asked, looking over. Not that I minded, but I was curious.

"She and Rosalie are still in Seattle." He replied, "They got caught up with shopping."

"Oh." I nodded. That definitely sounded like Alice. I wondered how many shirts she'd return with for me. How many more pairs of jeans, or worse. Dresses. Puke.

"May I ask what the business was with the turtle?" He smirked and I laughed again, just remembering it.

"Zack was asking what I wanted for my birthday." I explained, "And I told him I don't need anything, so he just came up with telling his mom I want a turtle. Which I don't."

"I see." He chuckled.

"Yeah." I murmured, "They're crazy sometimes."

"Well, I'm glad that you get along with them so well."

"Josh was talking about his friends coming over for his birthday on Sunday." I told him, "I'm not sure about being there for that."

"I don't see the harm in that." He commented.

"I kind of don't want them to." I added, shaking my head, "I'm not so good around new people."

"It'll give you practice for the fall." He pointed out, and I winced. I gave him a look. I knew what he was talking about, and I dreaded it more each day. School.

"Can't Esme just keep teaching me?" I asked, frowning.

"Esme is only catching you up on what you missed, Leandra." He replied, just like all the other times we had this argument, "You don't have anything to be worried about."

"I'll still be the smallest." I mumbled, "They always pick on the smallest ones. If I was in the wild, I'd be the first to die." I was being dramatic, given the look he gave me. Even I could see that, but that didn't keep me from doing it.

I whined, "Can't school wait until college?"

"I'm afraid not." He replied, "I think this is the best way for you. You need to socialize with kids your own age."

"Zack is my age." I reminded him.

He shook his head slightly with a glance my way, "Two others is hardly socializing."

"It is for me."

"Leandra, your aversion to people needs to be addressed as soon as possible." He reasoned, "If we let it slide, this could be something that'll affect you your entire life."

"That's not my fault." I muttered.

"I understand your apprehension, but I know you'll do fine." He assured me.

"And what if I don't?" I asked, looking over, "I won't know anybody there, except for Zack, but he won't be much help. He's got his own friends."

"You make it seem like you're going to be fighting for your life there." He pointed out, "And that's what I want to work with you on. It's just school."

"Kids are mean." I whimpered, "I hated school when I did go."

"You'll do fine." He repeated.

I groaned, but sat back in my seat. Defeated, as there was no use in arguing with Carlisle. He would always win. I comforted myself with the thought that I still had some time before I had to go. That made me feel better, but the worry was still there and I couldn't let it go.

We made it home not long later, and I immediately found Emmett standing in the living room, talking with Jasper. Almost scrambling to his side, I looked up at him.

"You agree with me." I told Emmett, "Just say yes."

"That's never good." He chuckled, looking to Carlisle as he followed me into the room, "What's up?"

"She's protesting school again." Carlisle answered, and Emmett sighed, looking down at me.

"Like I told you, shorty." He said, "Just tell them you know me. Nobody's going to mess with you."

"Like that's gonna work."

"Everybody knows everybody in a small town." He reminded me, "It's all about who you know. Reputation. Enough of those kids have older siblings that are bound to know me. Or any one of us."

"I'll spread the word for you." Jasper assured me quietly. That didn't help much. Nobody was on my side about this, which bugged me to no end. I knew what I was talking about.

"Then I do want a turtle." I grumbled, "I'll stuff it in my backpack so I can have something to throw at them." I turned, sitting heavily on the couch with a light bounce.

"Turtles aren't weapons." Emmett found that amusing, even if he was confused.

"Neither are soccer balls." I muttered, and that seemed to confuse him a little more, but Carlisle understood.

I couldn't help smiling again. Even when I wasn't with them, the boys helped me not be too irritated. It was one of the times I didn't hate my thoughts, when they crossed something good or something that made me laugh. That happened more often the more I was with them.

The subject wasn't brought up again the next day, and by the day of my birthday, I had more pressing issues to occupy my mind. Like the fact that my dad was due there around noon, and I had less than adequate sleep the night before. A few hours less than needed to put up with something like this.

I was nervous as hell to meet my half sister, but I had no idea how I'd even like his wife.

Apparently, my half sister Lily was born not quite five years after me, so she was still little. I had a slight hope that I'd feel a little better when I was bigger than her.

Unfortunately, Alice really wanted to make a thing of it, instead of him just visiting. Like they all didn't already know what day it was, Alice figured there needed to be decorations. It annoyed me, but I didn't say anything bad about it. If it made her happy, I'd suffer through it. Swatting a balloon when it drifted in front of me like it offended my ancestors.

I found that the first look at Lily came seconds after she was inside the door. She looked up at me, and I looked down at her, really unsure how to react. She smiled a little, but I couldn't return it. Beside me, everyone else was being introduced to Rachel, my dad's wife, but I was focused on the kid clinging to her leg.

Rachel was already iffy to me. Just because of her name, which happened to be the name of someone I really didn't like. My dad chuckled something about needing to go to the car for a second, but I ignored that.

Unlike me, Lily took a pretty even mix of both her parent's looks. I could recognize my dad's auburn hair color on her head. Dark reddish brown, just the same as me, but she took her mother's brown eyes, unlike me with my dad's green. It began to irritate me how cute she was.

"Be nice." Alice reminded me quietly.

The five year old in front of me stared at me like I was the most confusing thing in the world, and I stared at her the same way, with a bit of dislike thrown in there. Neither of us having said anything to each other yet.

"Well," Rachel sighed, laughing a little, "This is going great."

My dad returned then with a few gifts in his arms. Esme helped him carry them inside, and naturally, the group of us followed them. I watched after Rachel and the runt with her, not wanting to get too close to it.

Being seated didn't change the looks or silence between us, though, which had gotten my dad's attention. Lily was catching on, and my dislike was spawning a dislike of her own. I could tell by the way she stuck closer to Rachel's side.

It seemed as if Carlisle could tell, the others only having a suspicion, but the way he stayed near me told me he wasn't taking chances just yet. Not until I spoke up, or gave my opinion on it.

"So, Leandra." My dad took my attention, "How've you been?" I finally looked away from the evil little thing staring at me.

"Good, I guess." I replied quietly, shrugging a little, "Not bad."

He smiled, "That's good. Settling in well?" I nodded, glancing briefly to Rachel who'd leaned over and was talking to a very uncomfortable looking Lily.

I had to ask him the question I asked him every time I saw him.

"Have you heard anything from mom?"

He probably expected that question, given his expression. I asked him that every time, hoping every time it was the answer I wanted.

"Nope." He replied honestly, "Not a word." I sighed, relieved.

For her to contact him, it would only be for one reason, and that was to look for me. The only reason she would look for me, would be because Jack was looking for me. I didn't want that.

"I told you, kiddo." He added, "You'd be the first to know."

"I can't help it." I replied quietly.

"I doubt she'd look me up anyway." He said that every time.

It took Heather, Zack and Josh's arrival to send Jasper outside. I couldn't blame him, with as many humans that were here. This was probably not something they were especially used to. An extra human here wasn't so bad, but all of them all at once was bound to be an issue. Emmett went out to keep him company, no doubt disguising the fact that Jasper needed space with the cover of chit-chatting on the porch. Emmett was good at playing cool and distracting from discomfort.

I was glad to see that Heather had gotten the day off, and was able to make it. I always liked seeing her, even on my bad days.

"Is there a turtle in here?" I asked, taking Zack's wrapped gift from his hands as he stepped inside. I turned it all around, shaking it a little and searching for any air holes.

"If there is," He said, knowing what I was looking for, "It's dead now." I laughed, setting the box down on the table with all the rest. I liked the wrapping paper, as it was a metallic, medium blue color.

"Now, who is this?" Heather's attention had been taken by my dad, "I've got to be seeing things."

Spotting who it was that had spoken, my dad grinned and stood up. As it seemed, he hadn't seen her yet. Despite being in town three times before now, he hadn't stopped in to see her. I briefly wondered why, but I knew it was probably none of my business. His reasons were his own, but part of me was glad he had put it off. I got to see it.

It was interesting to watch, knowing all I knew about them. The last time they'd seen each other, I'd been a baby along with Josh and Zack. So long ago, so it was like two parts of my past meeting each other again. As weird as it was to see, it was still really fascinating to me.

I'd mentioned my dad a few times around Heather, explaining to the boys my situation with him as much as I could, but she never responded much. She knew enough to know that it hadn't been his fault that he had to leave, but I was never really sure she believed me. Seven, almost eight years was a long time to not see someone.

"Look at you." He chuckled, accepting her hug with a friendly one of his own, "It's great to see you. You haven't changed a bit."

I was a bit relieved, actually, that it seemed to be going well.

"You two, though." My dad looked to us, at the boys beside me, "Have changed. Quite a bit." They seemed confused, but they understood the situation. Zack glanced to me, and I just smiled a little. Now they knew how weird it felt to have someone they didn't remember know them from babies like Heather knew me.

"They're growing up too fast." Heather sighed, patting Josh's head as we neared her, "Mister almost-twelve-year-old here really makes me feel old." Josh grinned.

"No kidding." My dad laughed, "Holy cow. Twelve years, huh?"

"Twelve years on Sunday." Heather nodded a little, "Zack turned ten back in March."

I found a seat near Esme, watching the scene. Zack had followed me, standing beside the large chair I shared with Esme. Josh seemed more open to socializing with my dad, but Zack seemed more shy. He wasn't exactly afraid, but curious.

"Weird, isn't it?" I asked him as Esme smoothed my hair in a very comforting way.

"Very." He laughed a little.

"You get used to it." I replied with a small laugh of my own, "I think it's pretty cool."

"Yeah, it's cool," He allowed, "But still weird." He looked around, "Who's that?" I followed his gaze over to the couch, finding Lily watching me.

"That's Lily." I replied, "My half-sister. My dad's her dad."

"I can sort of tell." He nodded a little, "You look more like your dad, though." At least that was one thing I outdid her on.

Thankfully, it was my dad that introduced the boys and Heather to Rachel and Lily. I didn't have to talk to them to do it. It was one thing remembering them, but a whole different thing actually having to see them and interact with them. Rachel didn't seem so bad, but not particularly interesting, either. Just normal.

It didn't take long for Josh to lead the way outside. Being cooped up inside wasn't one of his favorite things, and he would lose his mind if he wasn't doing something physical, so Zack and I followed him out into the yard. Unfortunately, Lily followed us.

It was very overcast today, ensuring no chance of sunlight peeking through the clouds, but there was also no threat of rain, so it was perfect for everyone watching from the wide porch as we all ran around. I was fairly sure there were some stories going around about me, given the laughter from the adults, but I chose not to focus on that.

Outside, Jasper didn't seem to have an issue with the humans around. Especially not with Alice next to him, so out here, everyone could interact. Sometimes Josh did come up with some good ideas.

I didn't mind this part of the day. It was easy to ignore the fact that Alice made a big deal out of my birthday this way. It was Josh's idea to see who could reach what point first. It never got boring running back and forth, because there was so much room on this side of the house. I led the way, always staying faster than the boys. Once or twice, it was a tie between Josh and me, but most of the time, I led the way by a mile.

Lily trailing us with a meek, "Wait for me."

Out of breath, I eventually followed Lily up onto the porch for something to drink while the boys continued. They could go forever without a break, but I wasn't used to that. I chose a bottle of water versus the sodas sitting there, finding that more appealing. Glancing over as Lily did the same, but she struggled with the top.

"Here." I offered, and she looked to me shyly, handing me her bottle. Unscrewing the top, I screwed it back on lightly and handed it back to her.

"Thanks." She mumbled.

"No problem." I mumbled in reply, and she turned. I watched her find an open spot to sit next to my dad and take it. Not distracted from what he was saying in the least by Lily's sudden presence, he gathered her onto his lap, cuddling her lightly. He was talking about some business, probably the one he ran.

"Leandra." Josh called from the yard, "Can you please throw me one of those?" He didn't want to come all the way up here, since Heather would probably make him sit and rest too.

"Can you catch it?" I asked in reply, "Or is it going to explode everywhere?"

"Let's find out." He laughed, so I turned and grabbed one. Taking aim, I lobbed it as far as I thought it needed to go, but out of nowhere, Zack dove to catch it. Barely managing to land back on his feet as he did so, laughing triumphantly.

"Stolen." Zack laughed as Josh chased him down. They didn't seem too against sharing a bottle, so I shrugged.

Shaking my head, I chose to sit at Emmett's feet, directly on the deck while I caught my breath and sipped some water. Listening to the chatter.

"I guess you've been busy." Heather commented, her eyes on my dad, "You know, though, that a phone call wouldn't have killed you." I started to catch on to the subject.

"I didn't think about it, to be honest." He replied, "I was a little bit preoccupied."

"Well, had you filled me in, I could have filled you in." She told him, "I could have checked on her for you."

"Speaking of which," My dad frowned, "Why didn't you head over there?"

"I didn't think it was any of my business." She admitted, "I knew it was probably not going to go well, but who was I to meddle?"

I stood from my place on the deck, to sit on the bench between Carlisle and Emmett. I wasn't bothered by this subject, my early childhood, but I was interested. Two of the people that were there and could clearly remember, were discussing it. I doubted I'd ever get another chance like this. As long as the subject stayed mostly on me, I'd stick around.

"A concerned friend." My dad reasoned, replying to Heather, "You knew Leandra about as well as I did. I'm sure Gina would have understood." I fidgeted a little at the mention of my mother. My dad gave me an apologetic look.

"Yeah." She allowed, but trailed off. I knew what she wanted to say. I was grateful for the way she kept herself from continuing, but I was curious.

"Jack wouldn't have seen it that way." I mumbled, and by their glances, I knew they agreed. Beside me, Emmett patted my head lightly.

"Did you really try to take me?" I asked, looking to my dad. To my surprise, I realized that I hadn't asked him that yet.

"You did?" Heather asked, surprised.

"Of course." He replied to her as if that should have been obvious, "You remember the day I met Jack. He wasted no time whatsoever. I knew the second I saw him something was off, so when I figured out he was living there? No. That absolutely did not sit right with me. Gina, being as stubborn and hard-headed as she was, defended her decision, though.

"She just wouldn't listen. More afraid of losing her daughter than she was of the psychopath living with her. All I wanted was to take her for a few days, just to give Gina a chance to get a feel for the guy without dragging Leandra through that learning process with her. Just a few days, but Jack wasn't having that, so Gina wasn't having that. To be honest, I barely recognized her that day. I mean, I get it. I understand why she was so bitter with me, but that shouldn't have made her _that_ blind to reason. Not when it came to Leandra."

This was really interesting to me, and I didn't even really know why. I just sat there, listening intently to everything he was saying. I could almost picture it, and I briefly wondered if maybe that could be a memory, but I doubted it.

"All the blame doesn't fall on her, though, Chris." Heather reasoned, sipping from her own bottle of water.

"Yeah it does." I grumbled, "At least for me."

"Of course." My dad replied to her, "I had my part in it. I'm the last person to deny that."

"What did you do, anyway?" I asked, and he looked to me, "You keep saying you were part of it, but what did you do so wrong?"

"Uh.." He trailed off with nervous laugh, "I, uh.." He was clearly uncomfortable, looking to Rachel seated beside him.

"Oh." Heather clearly understood, "Oh, geez. Really, Chris?" I still didn't get it. Frowning my confusion, but I was convinced by her tone that if my dad wasn't sitting out of her reach, she'd have hit him.

"I never said I was proud of it." He defended himself, "It was just.. One of those things."

"What?" I asked, "I don't get it."

"I'll explain later." Emmett muttered to me.

"No you won't." Esme corrected him from Carlisle's other side.

"Anyway." My dad clearly wanted a subject change, "With Gina so bitter with me, I couldn't take her that day." I found myself listening, though I was still confused, "Not with Jack protecting her too, so I bided my time until my next allowed visit. Needless to say, Gina completely freaked out when I didn't have her back on time, and I can understand why, but she should know I'd never have hurt her. I thought maybe if I didn't try to hide away with her, they'd take that into consideration, but it really didn't work that way. All Gina wanted was Leandra back, so I didn't do jail time for it, but that didn't matter to that damn lawyer Jack hired for her."

Heather's eyes narrowed.

"Jack hired her a lawyer to handle the divorce?" She asked, and my dad nodded slowly, confirming it.

"I got to see Gina once after trying to take her." He replied, "After that, it was all him, and let me tell you. He's very good at taking everything from someone. I didn't want anything else. She could have the house, the car in her name, even the damn savings, everything. The only thing I was asking for was joint custody, so I could still see her and have her for more than a few hours every few days, but because of what I did, those few hours every few days weren't even possible."

I would have loved that. I would have even taken the few hours with him every few days. Happily, but because of Jack, I never got to see my dad again. That really didn't surprise me much, but it still bothered me that my mom would agree to that.

"Enough money gets you anything." Heather commented bitterly, "I'm starting to see now." She sighed deeply, "My brother disgusts me. Chris, I am so sorry." I looked down.

"Don't." He replied, shaking his head, "Please don't apologize. You didn't do anything wrong. I'm just sorry I never contacted you to explain. I thought sure you'd hear all about the kidnapping, and be just as against me as everyone else."

"Hind sight." Heather reasoned, "But no. I would have understood completely. Not many people can see passed him, you know. He's always been that way."

"Well, I could, and I didn't like what I saw." My dad muttered, "How different things would be if just a few things were changed."

"Weird to think about, isn't it?" Heather laughed sadly.

"Very." My dad laughed in return, "Oh, to have that ability. To see ahead and know what's going to happen?" I barely bit back my incredulous laugh the second his words registered to me, but cleared my throat a little instead. Disguising that cover up as a cough.

"You okay?" My dad asked me, and I laughed a little.

"Yeah." I coughed again, "Choking on air." I glanced across the porch at Alice, seeing her silent laughter.

"Be careful, kiddo." He laughed again. I chose that time to dart up again. I didn't want to sit there and raise suspicion.

Before I could get too far, though, Emmett followed me and lifted me. Flipping me around and laying me in his arms, drawing a loud laugh from me at how quickly he managed to do so, and still use human speed.

"Where do you think you're going, birthday girl?" He asked me, carrying me down the steps and toward the boys who'd stopped to watch.

"Away." I laughed a little. I looked over at Zack, "Told you he was better than some turtle."

"Well, glad to hear you think so highly of me." Emmett chuckled.

"How strong are you?" Josh was amazed at the easy way he held me.

"Pretty damn." I answered for him, laughing again as he lifted me, still laying in his arms, up higher.

"It also helps that she weighs almost nothing." Emmett added, and I playfully hit him.

"I weigh plenty." I told him, falling dead-weight in his arms. There was no difference in his effort, "I'm a hippo."

"You are not." Josh snorted.

"Yeah right." Zack laughed at the same time, "Not even close."

"Good." Emmett told them, "Whenever she starts spouting insanity like that, tell her she's wrong. That's how you get a girlfriend."

"Hey." I frowned up at him.

"Just not this one." He countered, squeezing a squeak and laugh from me, "She's off limits to you two."

"But she's already my girlfriend." Zack argued, and I smiled. I knew where he was going with that.

"If I believed that, I'd throw you up into that tree, and leave you for the pigeons." Emmett replied curtly, "But I don't."

"It's true." He grinned, "She's Josh's girlfriend too."

"Oh, ha-ha." Emmett caught on, and I honestly wasn't sure if it was an act. I got my answer when he looked to me, "That true?" He was joking.

"Oh yeah." I replied, "One hundred percent."

"Why you.." He turned me, suddenly hanging me by my ankles. His grip was firm, but it didn't really hurt, though it should have with all my weight on my ankles. My hands scrambled to hold my shirt down, but I laughed immediately.

"Look, guys." Emmett turned to face the porch, "I caught a pinata. I'll string her up, someone get a stick." I knew he was joking, and I actually found that funny too. Heather stood up, obviously worried about him dropping me. Like she could do something to prevent that from the porch. Esme stood up as well.

"Emmett." She sighed, "Put her down." She was worried for another reason, but the size difference between Emmett and myself would probably lead anyone to believe that I really was that easy to hold this way.

"Put me down!" I tried to sound mad, but it didn't really work, "Come on!"

Zack, taking the opportunity, started tickling my sides while I squirmed the best I could. He grinned when I couldn't let my shirt go.

"You're dead when I get free." I told him, but that didn't deter him from continuing.

"You're all pink." Josh pointed out, leaning down to look closer at my face.

"Emmett." Esme called again, and he sighed. Lowering me to the ground, he chuckled as I sat up quickly and slapped his leg. I was still recovering from laughing so hard, so it was hard to tell him off at first. Not that he gave me a chance, though. Scooping me back up like I weighed five pounds.

Lily obviously saw something she liked, though, because she squirmed off of my dad's lap as soon as she was able and ran over to us.

"Pick me up too?" She worded that demand as a question, which bugged me. My good mood plummeted.

"No." I told her, looking down at her, "There's no room."

"Sure there is." Emmett corrected, "Hang on." He carefully kneeled down and adjusted me. Sitting me up, and sitting me on his right shoulder.

"Lily, honey, I don't know if that's a good idea." My dad was obviously apprehensive about this, standing up, but I just didn't want it to happen. I wasn't sure if he was more worried about me slapping her, or Emmett dropping her.

"No there's not." I argued with Emmett. Trying to get my point across. Lily, seeing an open spot, ran closer. I didn't like this. It really didn't sit right with me.

The second he settled her on his left shoulder and went to stand up, I frowned and my tension rose.

"No." I reached over and pushed her. Emmett, of course, braced her so she didn't fall from his shoulder, but the effort was enough. Kneeling back down, he readjusted her with a surprised glance my way, but I took the opportunity to jump from my spot. Landing back on my feet.

"Never mind." I grumbled, stepping around Zack in front of me.

"Aww, shorty." Emmett chuckled, "Come on." I looked back, giving him a look before moving up onto the porch.

"Leandra?" Esme was concerned. I could tell that from her tone, but I didn't care. I knew why they were surprised, as I hardly ever acted out.

"Well.." My dad sighed, "That's how you know they're sisters." He was trying to ease the tension, but I wasn't falling for it. He reached for my hand, but I avoided it. It wasn't quite a forceful rejection, but it would become one if he kept trying.

Lily seemed oblivious to the whole thing, shaking off my shove like I never even did it.

"Excuse us a moment." Esme murmured to everyone else, capturing my hand gently in her own. I allowed that, turning with her back into the house.

She led me inside, closing the door quietly behind her.

"What's going on, sweetie?" She asked, sitting me on the couch as she kneeled in front of me. I looked down, shrugging a little. Honestly, I couldn't explain it. I didn't know what was going on any more than she did.

She offered a small smile, "Just need a break?" I instantly nodded, as that did sound nice. More than she knew.

"Okay." She replied, "We can sit in here for a moment."

We took a few minutes. However, the longer I sat there, watching Emmett play with Lily outside, the more I realized it was more than just needing a break. I'd never felt like this before when I needed a break. Most of the time I was angry, or wanted to cry. This was like a very unpleasant mix of both.

Outside, Heather stood up and I knew she was going to come inside. Probably to see if there was anything she could do to help, but I wasn't up to sitting through that so I stood up instead. Passing her in the doorway without a word. She watched after me, but didn't try to stop me.

"Everything okay?" My dad asked me, and I sighed.

"Fine." I replied, shrugging as I descended the steps to stand with Josh and Zack. They seemed a little confused, but didn't ask about it.

I actually avoided Emmett for the rest of the day. As much as he'd let me, anyway. I kind of wanted to stay mad at him, and he didn't even know why. I didn't even know why.

I did my best to pretend Lily wasn't still watching my every move. I did my best to pretend that Lily had never even been born. As for Rachel, I continued to reserve judgement. I wasn't too sure about her, but that was nothing surprising.

I got through the opening gifts part without dying of embarrassment. I usually avoided attention. Especially for things like this, but I couldn't avoid it this time. I'd just have to get through this in one piece.

I had to laugh, though, at Zack's gift. _This_ was stuff I wanted. Stuff that I'd be able to look at, and smile. Remembering exactly what brought on the idea for the gift, which he did seem to understand. They all did, but he really nailed it.

I lifted Zack's gift from the box, discarding the packaging from my lap and looking over the pretty decent sized stuffed turtle.

"You got a turtle anyway." He grinned, and I laughed again. Grinning myself as I looked it over.

"I couldn't talk him out of it." Heather laughed from her place on the couch.

"I love it." Which wasn't a fib. I really did, "Thank you."

It was cute in a creepy sort of way, with its bright blue and green coloring, and giant blue eyes. I didn't even especially like turtles, but I loved this one. It stayed right there next to me through the rest of the gift opening part.

I got so much stuff, I wasn't sure what to do with it all. I didn't mind the clothing gifts in the least, because it was all stuff I liked to wear, and it gave me more choices. I didn't care much for shopping, but I liked having clothes, so this was perfect.

A few necklaces I'd probably be too afraid to wear for fear of losing them, but I admired them nonetheless. Picture frames, and lots of them. I counted ten. All different sizes, but nothing too big. My room could definitely use some more decorating.

It was so strange to me, getting everything I got. I didn't know how to react to it, really. This many people knowing me well enough to know what I'd want. I'd never gotten gifts growing up, so even though I'd specifically said repeatedly that I didn't want anything, this meant a lot to me.

I still hated my birthday, but I had to admit that I was in a better place than I had been the year before. For one, I was safe now. For however long it lasted, I was safe. I wasn't worried about whatever Jack would come up with to 'give' me. I wasn't hurting, or dreading anything. I had to be thankful for that gift. At very least.

Two, I had my dad here. Even if he did bring that stupid little runt with him, it was nice to have him here. Actually knowing him. To have seen him with my own eyes, and gotten to know him a little as a person. Hell, just knowing what his voice sounded like was more than I could have asked for, even if I didn't want to live with him.

Heather and the boys. I liked having them here, too. This time the year before, I was thinking I'd never have anything like this. I never even imagined something like this was possible. Not in a million years, much less just one.

However, I was starting to get really tired.

It was nearing the end of a very busy day for me, and with as little sleep I got the night before, it was wearing on me. The problem with being tired, however, was that my moods were a little more sensitive. It's just how I was.

I was more emotional while I was tired, more prone to the anxiousness I normally suppressed. It was normally Jasper that gave everyone a heads up when I was anxious, because while I was anxious, it was very easy to upset me.

I watched Lily carefully during the winding-down part of everything. Closer than when she'd first arrived, but it sure wasn't because I wanted to get used to her. I wasn't even trying to get used to her because I knew after today, I wouldn't have to see her again. At least for a long while.

It wasn't until Carlisle started paying attention to her that I got really edgy. She didn't think much of it at first, which gave me the opportunity to move to his side from Esme's. With Jasper standing outside with Alice, I wasn't sure he was paying much attention.

Josh and Zack stood arguing with their mom about having to leave soon, so I didn't have them to distract me. Esme, Carlisle and Emmett were talking with Rachel, so she wasn't distracting the stupid five year old headed my way from the other direction. Approaching me from the other side of the coffee table.

The couch pillow I held was a sturdy one. Thick, and pretty firm, so I could squeeze onto it to help ease my tension. I normally did this, so nobody thought it was odd. Until said couch pillow somehow became a weapon. Not a projectile, because I didn't want to risk breaking anything but Lily.

I wasn't thinking about what it'd do. Lily got too close to me, and I just reacted. Whipping it out and slamming it across her face. It sure didn't take much to send someone that small flying to the side, especially if said pillow-wielder didn't know her own strength. It hit her hard, as I'd used quite a bit of force.

Naturally, that got the room's attention, before she even hit the floor. Smacking her forehead on the edge of the coffee table on her way down. Rachel was on her feet before the tears even started. Lily's or mine, moving to her daughter's side as her bawls began. Mine started one sob after hers.

"What'd you do that for?" Emmett asked, surprised. Carlisle turned toward me, probably to see why I was crying, but I scrambled away. Over the arm of the large chair to stand beside it for a moment.

I didn't _see_ any blood, but that didn't mean much. I wasn't really looking, more concerned about getting away from being in trouble.

Esme stood up as Rachel cuddled a loudly sobbing Lily, "Leandra, honey-"

I rounded, running for my room.

Nice, I told myself as I slammed the door behind me. After all this time trying to keep them from regretting taking me in, I had to go and fuck it all up. I didn't even really know why I wanted to do it. I just wanted to do it, and it was sure effective enough. I was sure it got my point across.

I rounded my bed, unsure what to do. I was probably in trouble, despite having an almost flawless record so far. The knock at the door only made me sit, folding upright on the floor on the side of the bed opposite the door.

"Leandra?" It was Carlisle. I shook my head, squeezing my eyes shut. I could still hear the slight commotion up the hall, and I just needed to hide from it for a minute.

I didn't like the way I felt. The tension finally coming out forcefully enough to make me snap like that made me feel bad. I didn't feel bad for what I did, but it made my stomach hurt in a way I wasn't used to and left the taste of anger in my mouth.

Carlisle didn't ask again, as I heard the door slowly open. Letting in the sounds of Lily's crying, and Heather attempting to calm her down. Probably looking over her forehead. He shut the noise out behind the door, closing it behind him. I appreciated that.

"Leandra." I didn't look over, "Why did you do that?" He kneeled beside me, and I kept my gaze away. I couldn't look at him.

"I don't know." I mumbled defensively in reply, "It just.. Sort of happened."

"Was it an accident?" He asked, and nervously, I bit my lip and shook my head. I'd meant to do that, and I didn't feel like lying to him about that. He sighed, "You really could have hurt her."

I closed my eyes, "I know." That was why I did it. I didn't want to admit that part, though. I couldn't explain it any more than he could.

He sighed again, and I chanced a small glance over at him.

"How much trouble am I in?" I asked quietly.

"Well," He murmured, "Rachel isn't too happy with you at the moment."

"I don't like her anyway." I grumbled, hugging my knees. I didn't care if she was happy with me or not. I wanted to know whether or not my family hated me.

"I think you're just overwhelmed." He wasn't mad? "You're tired, and that's a lot of people to handle in one day."

"I told you." I couldn't help mumbling, "You don't believe me, but I told you. I'm not good around people. I hurt them."

"You're alright around Josh and Zack, aren't you?"

"That's different." I muttered, "They're like family, I guess. Anybody new like that runt out there or like Rachel, I want to run away. When I can't, at like school or someplace like that, I get nervous. When I get nervous, I get mean. When I get mean, I don't think about things I do. Not usually, anyway."

"You just haven't had enough practice yet." He assured me, and I looked over again, "It'll get easier." I sighed deeply with a shrug. I didn't feel like arguing with him. The last thing I wanted to do was change his mind about being mad at me, but I'd been this way for as long as I could remember. If it hadn't gotten any easier by now, I doubted it ever would.

Needless to say, the little gathering didn't last too much longer. With Carlisle's insistence, I had to go back out there. I couldn't stay hidden away, as much as I wanted to. I had to at least go out and apologize to Lily. I had to own up to it.

"Sorry." Was the only word they were getting from me on the subject, but it seemed to be good enough for her.

"It's okay." She mumbled, still sore from crying so much, but at least she'd calmed down. She had a decent bump and bruise on her forehead, but that was about it.

"Don't feel bad, Leandra." Zack came to my side, distracting me from the not-so-glad glance from Rachel, "I hit Josh with a shovel once. He had to get six stitches."

I smiled a little. At least he didn't seem to think badly of me.

"Why?" I asked him.

"Because he threw a rock at me first." He shrugged a little.

"Why'd he throw a rock at you?" I asked, frowning.

"Because it seemed like fun." Josh replied, coming to my other side, "He was in range, and I wanted to see if I could hit him."

"Siblings are weird." Zack shrugged again, "I don't know how it is for sisters, but for me and Josh, well.. The fights aren't pretty. Most of the fights we have are over stupid things. Things that don't really matter, like what dumb TV show to watch or whose turn it is to do the dishes. You're still new at it, so I don't blame you for pillow-whacking her."

He had a point there. I'd never really had a sibling before, so I wouldn't know how that whole thing was supposed to work. I wondered if it could be more than just some sort of sibling thing, but I accepted that as an answer for the time being. It was easier than wondering why I wanted to do it.

He paused for a laugh, "You got her good, too. Just out of nowhere. _Bam_."

"And you're the older one, so you have to beat her up." Josh pointed out, "It's like the law or something."

"But I don't have to live with her." I frowned, "So it can't be that."

"I don't think it matters." Josh replied, "You know she's related to you, if only half way. You know the law. That automatically makes you mortal enemies." The three of us laughed a little at that one.

"For me," Josh continued, "When we were younger, he always had to have what I had, and that bugged the living crap out of me. What was mine, was mine. Mom always told us something about learning how to share, and all that happy crap, but there had to be a limit. Like I'm just gonna let him walk up and take what I have, because he's my brother." He rolled his eyes a little, "I could share some things of mine, but others, no way. It's still like that sometimes, but I think I've just gotten used to it and it's not as big of a deal."

"She wasn't taking anything of mine, though." I pointed out.

"No," Josh said, "But she could have. It's a competition thing. Something about parents picking favorites, or something stupid like that. It's the same thing as me trying to sell Zack for a nickel when we were younger."

"I remember that." Zack grumbled.

I sighed, responding to Josh, "Maybe."

That did make sense, though. I gave a short glance over at Emmett by the door. He and Jasper were talking, probably about me, so he didn't notice. I didn't really start to hate Lily until she butted in earlier. After that, I didn't want anything to do with whatever she had anything to do with. I'd never really felt like that before.

Carlisle sighed, and stepped around me. He'd been listening to everything we were talking about, and truthfully, I'd almost forgotten he was standing there.

"Next time," Zack spoke up, "Swing harder. She might go over the table."

Josh chuckled, "With a little more of an angle, she could really get some air-"

"Boys, don't encourage that." Heather caught on, having finally overheard.

"I'm just kidding." Zack told me, "Don't do that." The subject quickly changed directions.

"I've never seen you guys actually fight." I mumbled.

"That's because we're so good at it." Josh grinned, "We fight all the time, but in the end, it doesn't last."

"Except that one time when I didn't talk to you for like a month." Zack pointed out.

"Best month of my life." Josh laughed, and I had to smile a little too. He looked back at his mom nearly ready to go before looking to me again, "Remember. You're coming over in a few days, right?"

His birthday was two days after mine, and he made sure to ask me that every time I saw him this month.

"Why?" I pretended not to know, and he seemed surprised until I laughed, "If I'm still allowed, yeah. I'll be there, but I can't stay the night."

He nodded, understanding that, "Yeah, my mom doesn't think that's a good idea either."

"How many people?" I had to ask.

"Total, there will be seven of us." He replied, "Just four others you don't know. Two of my friends. Nate and Dylan, but Dylan has to bring his little sister." He smiled apologetically at my look, "Sorry. His mom made him agree. Zack invited his friend Lucas." I still hesitated, so he laughed a little, "You'll like them. Don't worry so much."

I managed to get through the goodbyes, and by the time everyone left, I was ready to just drop. I made it far enough to the couch, flopping lightly on it with a heavy sigh. More than worn out.

"So." I yelped loudly at Emmett's sudden appearance, falling into the open spot directly beside me.

"You know I hate it when you do that." I grumbled.

"What was that?"

"What was what?" I muttered, closing my eyes.

"Earlier, Leandra." Alice reminded me, despite the way she probably knew full well I knew what she meant. That didn't mean, though, that I was willing to really talk about it.

"The pillow?" I asked, laying my head back. For once, I couldn't think of anything else I wanted to do instead of sleep. I normally put off sleep as long as I could.

"That too." She allowed, "But before that. Outside."

"Nothing." I mumbled, "I guess I just hate her."

"Oh, no big deal." Emmett scoffed, "Just like that? You hate her?"

"Yup." I sighed, peeling myself up off the couch. I moved for my room, until I was captured again. Scooped up and laid in Emmett's arms, just like earlier.

"Not so fast." Emmett chuckled quietly.

"Don't." I grumbled. I was really not in the mood this time, probably announced by my tone and light struggles to get down.

"Come on, shorty." He replied, "What's bugging you?"

"Nothing." I answered, "I just want to go to bed. I'm tired."

He sighed, before letting me down. I appreciated that. Just because I weighed nothing to him didn't mean I particularly liked being treated like something small. I'd grown some in the last few months, having gained a little bit of weight, but I still had a ways to go before I was caught up to kids my age.

I was in my pajamas before I was approached again. The door partially open, signifying I was done changing, so when a knock came to the door, I wasn't surprised. I looked over at Jasper.

"You had nothing to be jealous of, Leandra." He told me, and I sighed, laying my bedcovers back. Hesitating as he continued, "Earlier. Outside."

"I know." I mumbled, "I just couldn't help it. She has everything, and she wanted what I have? How's that fair?"

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"She wouldn't survive one day living the life I lived when I was that young." I explained, sitting down on the side of my bed.

"Nobody should have to." He reminded me.

"What I mean is, she's never had to know what that's like." I went on, "She doesn't know how good she's got it with a family that cares about her like that. She doesn't know how hard I worked to get to where I'm at now. I know it's not really like what she's got, but what I have is mine and she still wanted to take it from me."

"That's not it at all." He replied, sighing as well.

"It bugs me that he'd just let her." I muttered, shrugging as I looked down.

"If I remember right, it was you who walked away." He pointed out, and I stayed quiet for a moment. Trying to figure out how to reply.

"Because I couldn't hit her without everyone freaking out." I finally responded, "Like I did with the pillow. She had that coming all day."

"Leandra, she's five years old." I shrugged a little at his reminder. That didn't really matter to me. I didn't care how old she was. All I cared about was the fact that she did what she did.

"So you're possessive of us?" That word seemed to sum it up.

"I guess so." I mumbled, "I never really had to be before. At least not that I remember."

"It definitely explains a few things." He nodded a little, "Just please don't let it come to violence."

No promises there. None at all.

**A/N: There we have it. :) First chapter down.  
Personally, I'm glad I got around to Re-Vamping this series. I already notice problems in places I honestly question. **  
**I hope you enjoyed this new start, because I certainly enjoyed typing it. Josh and Zack amaze me sometimes. **  
**Until Two, my darlings! :D**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

"I changed my mind." I whimpered, "I'm not going."

I'd rather stay home than face a bunch of people I didn't know. Especially after how my birthday went. It could have been worse, but I didn't want to risk hurting one of them like that. Although, I did have to consider the fact that it was Josh's friends I was thinking about. They'd probably find being hit like that funny. Not to mention the fact that they were bigger, and a pillow wouldn't even phase them.

That just made it harder to go.

"Leandra." Alice sighed, "How are you going to survive school if facing four kids you don't know intimidates you?"

"That's my entire point." I laid to the side on the couch.

"It's just one afternoon." She urged, "You'll live through this. You'll see."

"No promises they will." I whined, "You remember Rachel."

"She's.." She trailed off for a second, "She wasn't very nice, but not everyone is like that." It was too big of a risk for my taste. She wasn't getting it.

"I'll just go tomorrow." I mumbled, "When it's just them."

"No." She murmured, "You can go today. Come on." She took my wrist gently and sat me up, me whining the whole way, "Look at it this way, Leandra." My whines quieted as I looked to her, "There is about to be five almost teen boys at that house. I'm almost positive Heather is going to need someone to keep her company, or she's going to lose her mind." I had to smile a little at that image, "So if you don't go for you, or you don't go for even Josh, then at least go for Heather."

"You can go for me." I muttered, "They'll like you better anyway."

I didn't know anyone in the world who could out-stubborn Alice, but I did know it was stupid to try. Having had my own experience with trying to out-stubborn Alice, I'd won that battle but definitely not the war.

I'd already agreed to be there, so it really wasn't a surprise when I sat in the passenger seat, staring at Josh's house from the window.

"I'm going to die." I whined.

"No you're not." She replied instantly, "Look. I'll even walk you in, okay?" That actually did make it easier. I nodded a little, and she nodded as well, already climbing out. I took a breath before I followed her, my shoes hardly making a sound on the grass on the curb.

Heather stepped outside to meet us, having seen us pull up. I gripped Josh's wrapped gift tightly in both hands, letting Alice lead the way. Up the front walk, toward the front door. A particularly loud laugh from a small group of boys inside the house made me pause.

Alice sighed as she reached Heather's side, "She's a little nervous." Waving me forward, she smiled at me. My feet felt like lead as I continued moving.

"Oh, she's got nothing to worry about." Heather assured her, offering to take the gift from me. I released it, and she continued, "They're a little loud, but other than that, it's fine. If she starts having too hard of a time, she can always come find me. I'm probably not as much fun, but it's something." I nodded a little.

Unfortunately, with the door wide open like that, Josh saw me on his way from the stairs. Immediately changing his direction, he stepped out onto the porch with us with a grin.

"Hey." He greeted me, "I thought sure you'd chicken out."

"I wanted to." I mumbled, looking to Alice.

"Well, I'm glad she didn't let you." He read my expression with a laugh, "You look like you're about to be tortured. Come on."

He took my hand and tugged me forward. I whimpered, hesitating just a bit before letting him pull me into the house. Instantly, the sound of laughing boys got louder. I soon discovered why, as one of them stood in front of the TV in the living room, playing some random really violent video game, three others watching him.

The first thing I see on the TV screen is three animated people getting run over. This was going to be a great day.

Just let me hide away, I thought. Don't-

"Guys." Josh called, and they all looked at me, "This is Leandra." The car on the screen hit a mailbox, stopping its rampage as its 'driver' looked me over in what seemed like confusion. Zack waved at me, which I appreciated.

"Leandra, that's Nate." He gestured to the one holding the controller, before looking to the couch in front of us, "This is Dylan, and that's Lucas." Lucas was sitting over on the smaller couch with Zack.

Obviously unimpressed, they all looked to the screen again. The car on the screen reversed, turning another pedestrian into a speed bump, and they continued on. Josh laughed a little, and he looked to the only girl sitting on the far end of the couch. She looked about as entertained by the video game violence as I was.

"That's Madison." He told me, "Dylan's little sister."

"It's Maddie." Her correction sounded harsh, "Stupid." I frowned at her rudeness, not liking it a bit. Especially toward Josh.

Josh laughed again, seeing my expression, "She doesn't want to be here, but her mom made her come. Dylan says it's probably got something to do with their parents both having the same day off."

"Then why doesn't she just leave?" I asked, "If she doesn't want to be here, I'm sure she's got a friend that lives around here."

"Because I won't let her." Dylan answered that one, "Are you crazy? Like I'm just going to let my sister roam around town by herself."

"Sorry." I grumbled, "Geez. I didn't know she was that fragile." I responded to his sharp tone with one of my own.

"I'm not." Maddie argued, "He just thinks I am."

I sensed this was an argument they had often.

"You're eleven." Dylan reminded her.

"So that automatically means I'll hop into the nearest stranger's car if he waves enough candy at me." She rolled her eyes, and her sarcasm was heavy.

"We just got them to stop fighting." Josh laughed a sigh.

"Sorry." I muttered with an apologetic look.

"And it's not around town." Maddie continued at her brother, "It's four blocks that way! I _promise_ I won't get hit by a meteor on the way there."

"Leandra?" I looked back at Alice's voice as she neared, "I'm leaving now. Have a good time, alright? I'll be back to pick you up at six."

I realized again what it felt like to be stared at. All three of the new boys stared at Alice like she was made of gold. That sort of freaked me out, as they reminded me of dogs staring at a table full of turkey. She smiled a little at them, and I thought Lucas was going to wet himself by the way his face instantly blushed. Zack beside him was laughing, waving his hand in front of his face.

"Breathe, dude." I heard him mutter to him.

Maddie, though, was still irritated. Not giving a second look her way.

"Um.." I shook my head a little, trying to get back on the subject, "Okay. Right at six, right?"

"On the dot." She told me, giving me a hug, "Be good." I held onto her a few seconds longer than normal, not wanting her to go. She gave me a very supportive smile as she backed away, her voice lowering, "You can handle this." With that, I watched her leave. I hated watching her leave. If Josh hadn't been standing next to me, I would have followed her.

It wasn't so bad, I figured a little while later. They were all focused on what they were doing, and leaving me alone for the most part, but Heather wasn't wrong. They were loud, and that irritated me. Maddie wasn't much company, which was just fine with me. She ignored me for the cell phone constantly glued to her hand.

I was still shaken from a particularly loud cheer from the boys, so when Maddie gave me my out, I took it. Gratefully.

I stood up with her, and followed her as she headed for the kitchen. I was pretty sure sitting there, hoping nobody saw or talked to me wasn't the way my family was hoping this to go, but I was in it for survival and safety.

Double bonus, Heather stood there in the kitchen, moving yet another batch of cookies from a pan onto a plate. The boys went through cookies like breathing, so the oven was nearly constantly on.

"Hey." She noticed our arrival, "Having fun?"

"No." Maddie grumbled, and I looked to her. I wanted to slap some 'lighten up' into her. She annoyed me so much.

"Hey, Maddie." I mumbled, and she looked over, "I won't tell your brother if you sneak out the back door."

Her expression lightened, but Heather gave me a look.

"What?" I asked her, "She wants to be at her friends house. Why make her stay?" Especially when she was being such a little bitch about it. I was quiet, but I wasn't glaring at everyone or making them miserable.

"I think her brother would mind." Heather replied, "Not to mention her parents. I know I'd be a little upset if I thought my daughter was one place, when she was somewhere else."

Maddie sighed heavily, sitting down at the small table in the kitchen.

"Nice try." She told me and I shrugged.

I leaned against the back of another chair, watching Heather sigh and sit down as well. She always seemed so tired. Heather, being Jack's younger sister, knew him probably better than anyone else on the face of the planet. I briefly wondered if she got any more sleep than I did. For a second, I wondered what her dreams had to be like, and if they were as bad as mine were.

"Can I help with anything?" I found myself asking her, and she smiled a little at me.

"No, honey." She replied, "You're sweet, but it's alright." I wanted to insist, but I didn't want to irritate her.

"Just let me know." I offered, "I really can help. I don't get a lot of stuff to do at home."

"You _want_ chores to do?" Maddie asked me, obviously questioning my sanity. It wasn't so much doing the chores that I liked. It was helping out. Being useful for something.

"Yeah." I replied anyway, "What's so wrong with that?"

"You're weird." She shook her head. I pursed my lips, but didn't bother replying.

"It's okay, honey." Heather told me, "You're here to have fun, not to work." I smiled a little, amused as I sat down last. There wasn't a whole lot of fun to be had in a room full of boys ignoring me. I didn't blame Josh or Zack for being more into what everyone else was doing. I just didn't share those same interests. I wasn't going to go in there and demand their full attention.

Maddie sighed heavily, "I'm _so_ bored!"

"Shut _up_ already." I couldn't stop that from leaving my mouth, "If you're that bored, go run circles around the house. I don't think a little exercise is going to kill you."

"Well, ex-_cuse_ me." She sneered, crossing her arms over her chest. Heather, trying to hide her amusement, stood up.

"Do either of you want some lemonade?" She asked.

"Yes, please." I replied, and Maddie just shrugged, choosing to look at her phone again. I frowned. Was that an answer? Was a shrug really an answer? Better yet, was it really that hard of a question?

I accepted my glass with a quiet, "Thank you."

I actually did feel better now that I was sitting in here, away from most of the kids I didn't know. Maddie was easy to ignore, because she ignored me. Since my snap at her, she took the hint, and stopped complaining. I was pretty sure I could lean back, kick her out of her chair, and she'd just stand right back up and sit back down with how focused she was in the text messages flooding the little screen.

Heather and I kept most of the conversation, and it was almost possible to pretend that I was here for the normal reasons. Not to push me to like people. It was working, too, until the ones I came into the kitchen to escape from came in. Everyone aside from Josh filed in, Zack and Lucas already fishing in the fridge for a soda.

Nate and Dylan spotted the cookies on the counter, and Nate nearly knocked Maddie from her chair to reach the plate.

"Excuse you." She snapped, and he grinned at her, "Pig."

"Sorry." He said, but I didn't believe it one bit, given the way he ruffled her light brown hair. I frowned, also finding that rude. If she put up with these kids for any length of time, no wonder she was such a bitch. She swatted his hand away, glaring at him.

"Come on, boys." Heather stood back up, "Be nice."

"We're being nice." Nate smiled innocently at her, "As nice as I can be."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, stupidly bringing attention to me. He laughed with Dylan.

"It means.." He spoke slowly as if I'd have an issue understanding him, "That she's annoying. I can only be so nice to annoying people."

"Be nice to her." Zack spoke up, stepping around to stand next to my chair.

"Sorry." Nate repeated, grinning again.

"Don't worry about it, Leandra." Maddie told me, "Boys are always like that."

"Does that mean all girls are annoying?" Nate asked, leaning on the table and snagging a cookie off the plate they'd just stolen.

"Definitely not all of them." Dylan chuckled, "I think they outgrow that eventually."

"Either that, or we just put up with it because of things they grow into." Nate added. I wrinkled my nose at their laughter.

"Now, that's enough of that." Heather huffed, not at all amused.

Josh finally made it into the kitchen, bringing the population in the kitchen to a really crowded level.

"It's way better to be a guy." Nate pointed out, lifting a strand of Maddie's hair and letting it fall.

"What's wrong with being a girl?" I frowned.

"Everything." Dylan chuckled in reply, getting a laugh from the rest. Unfortunately, even Zack. I ached to hit him, "I mean, hell. You have to grow up to be interesting. That must really bite."

"It's only because boys don't think as well as girls can." Maddie sniffed easily, "You don't think we're interesting because you don't get it. It's all one track with you."

"One track with us?" He snorted, "Right. All girls care about is clothes, boys, and whatever else you creatures do."

"Hey." I found that offensive.

"Come on, guys." Josh was trying to herd them out of the kitchen, but they'd found a subject worth sticking to.

"They're not even fun." Nate frowned.

"Yeah?" Maddie asked, "Well, if it wasn't for a _girl_, you wouldn't even be alive. Can _you_ do that?" Heather choked, giggling into her lemonade, trying not to laugh too loudly. That shut them up for a solid chunk of time, until with a final 'shut up', they all turned away. Taking the plate of cookies with them. I looked over at her, surprised. Where had that come from?

She grinned, "I heard that on TV once."

"It came in handy today." I had to hand it to her.

"Okay." Heather seemed to have recovered, "Well, I guess that was settled, wasn't it?" She stood up and pulled a separate plate of cookies out for us, since the others were stolen. I thanked her as she handed me a small plate with two sitting on it.

"For now." Maddie sighed, scooting her own plate closer to her, "Boys are stupid, though. They'll probably forget."

"Not all boys are stupid." I pointed out, "Josh isn't stupid."

"He's a boy, isn't he?" She asked, "Zack too."

"He's my friend." I frowned, "Zack isn't the smartest person around, but he's not stupid either."

"O-_Kay_." She rolled her eyes, "Every boy except for those two are stupid."

"Is your dad stupid?" I asked her.

"I said 'boy'." She countered.

"Doesn't matter." I replied, "You shouldn't call all boys stupid just because a few of them act like jerks." I picked at the cookie on my plate, choosing to eat the chocolate chips first, "I'm sure there are some pretty stupid girls out there, too." I wondered if she knew I was implying her.

"Yeah, well.." She muttered, "Whatever. You know what I mean." I did know what she meant. That was the problem. I didn't think it was right to hate someone just because they were a boy. Zack and Josh were some of the nicest people around. What she was implying was just as bad as what Nate and Dylan had implied.

I glanced over, noticing Heather's smile before I looked back down. I didn't quite know what she found so amusing, but I wasn't going to ask about it either.

A little later on, I got that answer. I stood there, helping her put stuff away while Maddie and all the boys finished a movie in the front room. Mike had gotten home just in time to grab the last of the pizza, keeping the boys busy. I got to put the plastic wrap over the dishes that the rest of the food was in while she found room in the refrigerator. Rolling up the chip bags and putting them in the pantry, throwing the empties away, things like that.

"You've been a big help today, Leandra." She told me, and I smiled a little, "Thank you."

"No problem." I replied with a smile, and it was true. I liked being of use.

"You know," She murmured, "I've been curious for awhile. You have such an amazing view of things around you. It's like you understand everything in a way not many people can. How do you think so differently than any kid I've ever met?"

I shrugged a little, "Just lucky, I guess."

She laughed in response, shaking her head, "Well, I won't disagree with you there. You're so smart, Leandra. I never know what to expect when it comes to you."

"I think I'm just getting a big mouth." I laughed a little too, handing her a plate.

"Not at all." She replied, "That's a very good trait to have."

I was never nervous when whoever came to pick me up would talk to Heather, because I made sure to always be as well behaved as I could. I doubted Heather would ever have anything bad to say about me even if I wasn't, but I didn't want to take any chances.

Heather and I nearly got ran over by four boys chasing each other toward the stairs on the way to the open door from the kitchen. However, seeing who was at the door, Dylan stopped dead. Nate running into him, and Lucas running into Nate. Nearly knocking Dylan off his feet. Right in the middle of the hall between the living room and kitchen.

Alice stood there, watching them with an amused smirk.

"Come on." Josh called them from the stairs, "Stop staring, you psychos."

"Bye, Josh." I looked to him, and he leaned over the railing to look at me.

"Going home already?" He asked, smiling.

"I've been here all day." I laughed a little, "Hope your birthday was happy."

"It's not over yet." He reminded me, and I shrugged.

"Then I hope it stays happy." I replied, glancing to the group of staring boys, "Can they not stare at my sister? It's creeping me out." All three turned their heads to look at me.

"She's your _sister_?" Nate asked me, "I thought she was your friend."

"That too." I allowed, "Now, move it."

"Yes, ma'am." He sure changed his tune. The three-boy pileup in the hall quickly dissipated, thankfully, and we could continue on.

I jumped back as Zack rounded to follow them and nearly took me out anyway.

"Watch it." I barked after him. He just laughed, not pausing for a second.

Mike sighed, joining us in our journey to the front door. I smiled a little at him, feeling sorry for the abuse he no doubt had endured.

"I take it you've been busy?" Alice asked, and Heather sighed as well with a laugh. We made it to the door, and I wasted no time in stepping outside. The cool evening air helped ease me.

"And I have all night to look forward to this." Heather answered, "Mike gets to be on kid duty tonight, with specific instructions not to wake me up in a panic unless there's blood, exposed bone, or someone falls out a window." I winced, "I've got to get back to work tomorrow."

"I'd tell him to keep an extra eye on Nate." I muttered, "He's most likely to fall out a window." Heather laughed before I added an afterthought, "And hide the lighters."

"I second that." Mike spoke up, "That boy isn't the brightest."

"I'll keep that in mind." She told me.

"Best of luck with that." Alice laughed, hugging me into her side.

"She was great." Heather told her with a smile, reaching forward and patting my head lightly, "As usual. She, Maddie and I all hung out most of the time. She did seem to be a little intimidated, but who wouldn't be?"

"I'm glad to hear it." Alice admitted, and I heard how she meant that, "She starts school soon, and well.. We're a little worried about how she'll do."

"I'm sure she'll do fine." Probably not, but I didn't want to argue with her.

I honestly wasn't sure what would have been a better idea in this case. Maybe I should have wrecked the house or injured someone, just so they wouldn't send me to school next month.

"Don't worry about it, kiddo." Mike told me, "You do seem to worry a lot." He was referencing my morning in California when I'd overheard Heather arguing with Ken. I smiled a little, nervous at the reminder.

"That was before I knew her." I defended myself quietly, "You're never gonna stop bringing that up, are you?"

"I can understand why you'd get freaked out over that." He replied, "I'm just glad I got to be there." I smiled a little.

He was such a sweet guy. Another unnecessary worry I'd had. It was true, I'd had less interaction with him than I did with Heather, but that was only because he worked so much and could get less days off. The fact that I had to actually look up quite a distance to meet his eyes was hardly a factor anymore.

We got home right as Carlisle got home, which tried to ease my arguing a little bit, but not by much. Carlisle had been working more lately, probably because he'd had to take so much time off. I wasn't sure how I felt about that, honestly. I'd had so much time to get used to him being around.

To my surprise, Edward was there when we got inside. I hadn't seen much of him at all over the summer, as he was always off with Bella, but he'd brought her along. The main argument, however, wouldn't wait until Bella wasn't around.

"Just because I didn't punch anyone in the face doesn't mean anything." I grumbled on my way into the living room, "I stayed away from them for most of the day, like Heather said."

"You did great today, Leandra." Alice followed me into the room, Carlisle following her, "I think you'll be fine at school too." Edward looked up from his place at the piano, Bella seated beside him. Alice continued, "Really. I don't know why you're so against this."

"I just am." I muttered, falling into place beside Emmett on the couch.

"Do you forgive me yet?" He whispered.

"No." I whispered back.

"Just checking." He nodded, suddenly standing up, "I think she shouldn't have to go to school." Surprised, I looked up at him. Alice placed her hands on her hips.

"Now you're not helping." She told him firmly.

"Hey, someone's on my side." I pointed up at him, my eyes on Alice.

"Why are we even discussing this?" Alice sighed, "Leandra, you belong in school." She was trying to be firm with me, but I was pretty stubborn.

"I'm fine right here." I patted the couch.

"Me too." Emmett sat back down next to me.

"You can stay if I can stay." I offered, looking over at him.

"Deal." He grinned.

"No." Alice was getting irritated, "No deal. Don't go telling her those kinds of things, Emmett."

"Hey, if it makes her like me again, I'll vote in her favor." He shrugged, "Even if it doesn't make a difference, at least the kid has someone on her side."

"Leandra, you'll be going to school." Esme added her word, "End of story."

"That's not the end of the story, though." I pointed out, watching as she descended the stairs, "There's plenty more to it. I'll go, but no promises I'll move anywhere further than the front sidewalk. Unless someone moves me, I'm not moving. I'll just sit there like a bum all day."

"She's diabolical." Emmett chuckled, "I like it."

"Emmett." Carlisle sighed.

"You're _still_ not helping." Alice pointed out.

"Look." He sighed, "She hardly ever argues about anything. Maybe shorty has a reason to not want to go. Ever think of that?"

"She has a reason." Alice nodded, "I know she does. She was raised to avoid people at all costs. That's her reason." That shut him up.

"That's not the only reason." I muttered, crossing my arms, but the only response I got was a glance.

Alice continued at Emmett, "And did you ever think that maybe there's a reason we're insisting she does go?"

"Um.." He looked to me, "Help me out here."

"Uh-uh." I shook my head, "You're the decoy. They can argue with you for a minute."

"Does this happen a lot?" I heard over at the piano. Bella was curious.

"You get used to it after awhile." Edward continued playing, "It's a skill not many possess."

"All I'm saying," Alice went on, "Is this situation is hard enough. Don't encourage this."

"How is making her rather hide in a closet to avoid something any better?" Emmett asked.

"Is this really still an issue?" Jasper's arrival was my cue to leave. I darted up and toward my room. I didn't really appreciate my mood getting switched around on me when I wanted to stay stubborn. Naturally, Alice caught a hold of me before I could get by her.

I laughed a little as she spun me into a hug, standing behind me with her arm over me. If I really wanted to, I could fight her, but I didn't mind it so much.

"She can't stay afraid of people her entire life, Emmett." Alice explained, "She needs to adjust."

"Why?" Emmett asked, "If we're keeping her, what's the big deal?"

"It's about more than just existing around us." She replied, "If she never learns to get through her aversion to people, how is she ever going to experience things kids should experience? Relationships outside of the family are just as important as inside the family. There's only so much we can give her. She needs friends."

"I have friends." I frowned up at her.

"And besides." Alice added, "Carlisle agrees with this wholeheartedly. That says enough in itself, doesn't it?" With Carlisle standing right there, I really didn't expect a different answer.

Emmett sighed, "She's got me beat there, shorty."

"Traitor." I grumbled, glaring at him.

"Sorry." He chuckled, "What he says goes."

"Maybe I can help?" Bella offered, standing up and almost hesitantly approaching with a glance to Jasper, "What's wrong?" What wasn't wrong?

"They want to make me go to school." I answered bitterly, "Long story."

"And?" Bella asked, "Leandra, they have to. It's against the law not to." My expression fell. I didn't know that part. I glanced to Carlisle, but he didn't deny it.

"Trust me. I'd know." Bella added.

"Oh."

"Especially for you." She went on, "If you're allowed to stay home without a good enough reason, Carlisle could get into a lot of trouble."

"Well, _crap_." I groaned, stomping a little. I no longer saw a way out of this. If there was one way to make sure I quit my arguing, it was to put them in trouble because of me. That left me with no other choice. I _hated_ being cornered.

I had to keep trying, "What would be a good enough reason?"

"There aren't many." She replied regretfully, "Sorry."

I thought of one, looking back and up at Alice as she hugged me again, "What if I go, and I remember something else? What do I do then?"

For a moment, it seemed like she didn't know what to say. I was sure Alice was filled in on how I reacted at remembering the one thing I needed to remember about them, as I practically fell apart.

I actually had yet to remember much else, and I could tell my mind was trying. Maybe that's what made me so nervous. I didn't know how to tell the difference yet.

"You're pretty good at lying, shorty." Emmett pointed out, and I glared at him again, "Make something up."

"Now you're not helping." I grumbled, repeating Alice's earlier words. I took a deep breath. It seemed I'd have to go anyway. That thought would take some getting used to.

"Fine." The word was irritated, drawn out, "But I won't like it, and if I hurt someone, don't blame me."

"Thank you, Bella." Jasper told her, and she smiled.

"No problem."

"I don't think you understand." He murmured, "We've had this argument with her since the subject was brought up in April."

"Why didn't you just tell her?" She asked.

"I considered telling her." Alice answered, "But she wouldn't have believed me. She probably would have thought I was making it up." I shrugged a little. Despite Alice not being my favorite person right then, I liked being hugged, which was why I chose to stay standing there, even though I finally lost the big argument.

"Well, it's true." Bella replied, looking to me, "Trust me. You going is the best way. It's not so bad. I'm not that good around a whole lot of people either, but I survived this far, didn't I? And I went to fifth grade in Phoenix. Do you know how many people live there?"

"A lot?" I guessed.

It was a little more complicated than that, I thought, but I wouldn't argue with her. I didn't like arguing with people I hardly knew. She just didn't know that anyone new was a problem for me. I suspected that the reason I warmed up to Josh and Zack so easily was because Jack had me meet them.

"More than that." She replied, "Here, it's nothing. You'll be okay." I didn't believe that one bit. Truthfully, I was terrified. I didn't know a thing about these kids, and if the birthday party was any indication, I'd have a rough time there.

I pictured myself clinging to furniture and door frames on the day I did have to go, but even I knew that'd be going too far. I just really didn't want to go.

"You're overreacting." Edward pointed out from his seat at the piano. I kept my retort to myself, not knowing if it was exactly me he was talking to. I had a feeling it was, but it was probably best not to snap at him. He smirked.

I found it best to just think about something else. I'd already agreed to go. My fate was sealed.

I forced myself not to think about being abandoned, made to rot away in some classroom, parked in the plastic seat of a desk I hated while listening to some bastard drone on about what divided by what equaled what, and avoiding the looks I was bound to get by countless numbers of as of yet faceless others I'd pre-determined to hate me.

I forced myself not to think about what would happen during that hellish half-hour of time that usually came during a period called 'recess'. Fending for myself against the band of ruthless still as of yet faceless others running around like wild animals.

Not to mention the feeding rush. The stampede, when all those wild animals would flock to the cafeteria like starving hippos, running each other over and only the strongest surviving. The ones that fell were left behind, discarded like yesterday's soggy newspaper.

"Wow." Edward chuckled.

"Shut up." I grumbled, turning and heading for my room.

"You have a very vivid imagination, Leandra." He called after me.

"That's part of the problem." I growled back.

I was only freaking myself out. Flopping face down onto my bed, I laid there. Refusing to move until I died. A sick sort of resigned despair filled my stomach at just the thought of putting myself through that, but again, I'd already agreed.

Well, just because I agreed doesn't mean I'd be happy about it.

I nearly cried into my cereal bowl the morning school did start, that stomach-filling sense of despair making it difficult to eat. Apparently, we'd have to get there pretty early. Because I was new, Carlisle had to come with me and sign papers in the office.

It really wasn't early enough for my taste, though. By the time we did get there, there were plenty of kids already there.

"I changed my mind." I whimpered, looking to Carlisle, "Don't leave me here."

"Come on, Leandra." He gave me a supportive smile, "Let's go inside."

"Let's not." I called after him as he stood from the car, "Really. I just remembered that I'm sick. I don't feel that good." I knew he could hear me as he rounded the car to the passenger side, "I have a cold. The flu. Pneumonia. I seriously think I might throw up." He pulled my door open and I whined. Continuing to sit there.

Conveniently, the parking area was right in view of the front playground to the right of the main building, which only made things worse. The large playground area was sectioned off by a tall chain-link fence, where all the other kids ran around. I didn't want to join those animals. Shoved in that cage with people I didn't know.

"I can't." I gasped, "I can't."

"Leandra-" I turned, crawling between the two front seats and scrambling into the back seat. I actually did start to cry. It surprised me too, but my tears were genuine. I knew that much. No part of these tears were made up.

"It won't be that bad." He spoke to me from the front, but that didn't help, "Leandra, breathe." I remembered to take a breath, but it was hard to.

He sighed, standing there and obviously thinking when I just continued crying. I had to question myself, though. If I refused to move, would he move me? I couldn't help it. Each time I looked out the window to the playground, it just got harder to deal with, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't not look that direction.

"Come on out, Leandra." He tried again about a minute later, and I shook my head. He closed the front passenger door and opened the back passenger door, choosing to speak to me from there, "How did you always start school before?"

"That was different." I sobbed, "I was there before, and I'd get beaten if I didn't go." I actually wasn't trying to use that as a cop out, but hell, if it worked, why not? It didn't seem to sway him, though.

"You can do this, Leandra." He told me, "I know you can."

"No I can't." I turned away, flattening myself against the back driver's side door.

"Is it really this hard on you?" He asked, and I refused to answer. It really was. I jumped as I felt his hand find my wrist. He was going to move me. He wasn't holding tightly. I knew he was only trying to give me a boost, or a little tug of confidence, so I wasn't mad at him, but that wasn't going to work.

"No." I grumbled, yanking my wrist from his hand.

"Leandra, please." He sighed, "I'm asking you to give this a chance."

I looked over at him as my sobs squeezed tighter. That only made the pressure harder on me. It wasn't a choice I could make. I couldn't just decide to do something like this. Just the thought of leaving the car made me panic, keeping me stuck in place. The fear was impossible to fight through. How could I fight something that was impossible to fight?

"What are you so afraid of?" He asked, concerned now, "What is bothering you so badly?" I couldn't answer that. I couldn't even look at him. Shamefully keeping my crying eyes on my hands in my lap.

"Alright, Leandra." He murmured, "Just one step at a time, then. Just come out of the car. We won't go inside yet, but I think fresh air would help." I looked out the window again, spotting the few kids that had caught sight of us, shaking my head. Besides. I was trembling enough. Fresh air would only make me colder.

He sighed again. This was obviously hard on him too. I knew that, but I couldn't help it. He paused, hesitating a moment before pulling out his phone. His hand braced on the door, but he stood upright. No longer looking at me.

I surprised myself by realizing I was considering running off. I was that wound up, that freaked out that I was considering running off. Maybe if I did, he'd take me seriously. Only the thought of leaving the safety of the car made me stay.

I'd gotten the attention of the animals behind the chain-link fence. It was my own stupid fault, I knew that, but leaving this car willingly was out of the question now. More than before.

My attention was taken by the two adults leaving the building up ahead, coming our direction. One woman and one man. As they reached us, I vaguely heard Carlisle explaining the situation quietly, but I was more concerned by the new man looking in at me as Carlisle moved away.

If Carlisle thought this was going to help, he was sadly mistaken. I flattened myself further against the door, glaring at him now, but it was hard to look tough when I couldn't stop crying. If any part of him reached for any part of me, I'd hurt him. His hands braced against his knees, though, as he bent low to look into the back seat at me, he smiled.

"Hi there." He spoke, but I stayed quiet, "My name is Mr. Mitchell. I'm the counselor here." Good for him, "I take it you don't want to come out of there?" Oh, _and_ he was observant.

I fidgeted a little, looking back down.

"Leandra, is it?" He spoke again, but I ignored him, "Believe me, I see kids like you all the time." What the hell was that supposed to mean? "Scared, nervous about their first day somewhere new. They always warm right up to being here. I promise." Well, I wasn't them.

"Come on." He smiled a friendly smile that didn't fool me, "Come on out. I can show you around, if you want."

I didn't want that. I wanted him to leave. He stood up briefly at over thirty seconds of my continued silence, looking and talking to Carlisle quietly. I strained, but couldn't hear what they were talking about.

I tensed, looking over again as Mr. Mitchell actually sat down. Joining me in the back seat. This confused me. He didn't try reaching for me, but looked over at me.

What the hell was he doing? It took the closing of the door to send me scrambling out the other door. I stood there for a moment, surprised into a yelp as Carlisle picked me up. Lifting me off my feet, and I easily caught on. That was a dirty trick. I glared at him, but his gaze was apologetic as he closed the door.

Knowing I'd want to get as far from that bastard as I could, he let him sit down. The only way further from him was out the door, and picking me up made sure I couldn't get back into the car unless I fought him, which I really didn't want to do.

"There now." Mr. Mitchell stood back up, shutting his door, "This isn't so bad, is it?" It was horrible, and his tone was pissing me off. By now, the group of kids at the fence had tripled. Many curious eyes on us, which I noticed immediately. That was only making it worse.

"How about we go inside?" Mr. Mitchell asked me. How about he goes straight to hell? "I think she's okay now. You can set her down, Mr. Cullen." Nope. I looked at him with 'Don't do it' in my eyes, but he did anyway.

The second I was on my feet, I jerked my hand from Carlisle's, and took off. Rounding, and darting across the street, much to the dislike of the driver of the car I was nearly hit by. Just as I figured, it wasn't hard for Carlisle to catch up to me. Even using human speed, it only took him seconds to catch me. Lifting me back off my feet, I actually did fight for a second, already in tears again.

My heart was pounding too hard, and I felt like I couldn't breathe.

"Alright, Leandra." He told me, "Okay, listen." I paused in my slight struggles, "If you're really this against it, I'll listen. You don't have to go today, but you will be working on this, okay?"

How could I be sure he wasn't just telling me that to calm me down? I'd stay worked up. He'd already tricked me once today. I didn't bother starting to believe him until he carried me back over to the car and set me in the front passenger seat. Closing the door while he turned to speak with Mr. Mitchell.

I didn't like where I was, so I turned over and crawled back into the back seat, sitting right where I sat before being tricked out into the open. It was more hidden here, more closed in. I focused all I had on taking a decent breath, and trying to slow my trembling.

It was just starting to work, when Mr. Mitchell opened the door again.

"I'm not entirely sure that's a good idea." Carlisle was telling him, but he wasn't listening.

"One more try, Leandra." He smiled at me, "I know you're braver than this."

He didn't know me.

He sat back down again, like he had before, except this time, I wasn't going to let him chase me from the car. I flattened as far back against the door as I could and turned to face him. He was turned, saying something to Carlisle, so he didn't see me do this.

The second he looked to me once more, though, I kicked as hard as I could in the direction of his face. Outward and up, giving myself a boost off the seat. The impact of my shoe hitting his face jarred me, but I didn't care. Not in the least. My effort had been just enough to get him out of the car, away from me.

I scrambled across the seat, slamming the door shut when he had rolled out of the way. I rounded, sobbing as I reached up front to the door lock. I pressed the button furiously, and all the locks falling into place was a very comforting sound.

Carlisle had the key, so I wasn't worried about him being able to get in, but Mr. Mitchell couldn't, and that was all I needed. I sat back on my heels, covered my face with my hands and just cried for a moment. Crying for another reason this time. I was _so_ freaked out.

"Well.." Outside the car, over my cries, I heard him laugh, but he was obviously in pain as he cupped his face, "That sure didn't work." He laughed again, bringing his hands back to inspect the blood on them, "No, no. I'm fine. I should have known better." At least he was being nice about it, instead of blaming Carlisle. That was somewhat of a plus, at least.

The woman standing there too didn't seem as impressed, however. She seemed pretty upset. Talking firmly with Carlisle, but quietly. Repeatedly gesturing toward the car and I assumed toward me, and shaking her head. I didn't like that.

Just like with Lily, I didn't like having to snap like that. It made me feel bad, but not bad about what I'd done. Not quite sick, but the ache and cramp in my stomach could almost be comparable to nausea.

I watched Carlisle round the car, shaking his head as well. Unlocking the door with the key, he reached in and unlocked the doors. Stepping over, he pulled my door open and pulled me out. I didn't resist in the slightest, crying way too hard to even think about it.

He held me like that for several minutes, letting me get the rest of my crying out while I hugged onto him. He didn't seem mad at me, which helped. I started to breathe a little easier like that. I wanted to tell him that I hadn't wanted to do that, but I couldn't. I didn't trust myself speaking yet.

"Mr. Cullen?" I didn't look, but I was surprised at the very familiar sounding voice calling ahead and only getting closer, "What happened to her?"

Embarrassment closed my eyes for me. I didn't want Zack to see me like this.

"Zack." Carlisle spoke up, "Thank goodness you're here."

"That's the first time I've ever heard that." He laughed, "What happened to her?"

"She's having trouble adjusting to this." I assumed he gestured to the school.

"Oh," He seemed to understand, "Well, I don't blame her, really. I'd want to stay home all the time too, but shoot. If it's these butt-heads she's worried about, she's got nothing to be so scared of."

"Do you think you could perhaps talk to her?" Carlisle asked him.

"Sure." He replied easily, "But that's kind of hard to do when she won't even look at me." I tried to hold on as Carlisle moved to set me on my feet, but I couldn't. Eventually landing on my feet beside him. Sniffling hard, trying to make it seem like I hadn't just been sobbing.

"Hey." Zack smiled a little. I couldn't return it.

"Hey." I mumbled, looking down shamefully. The problem was that yes, I was embarrassed by my behavior, and I knew it was stupid, but acting that way and doing those things weren't my choice.

Zack laughed quietly, "Trust me. You'll be fine here." I glanced to his side, finding someone new. He was just about my height, a short kid. Darker brown hair than Zack, with fitting brown eyes.

"If they even let her stay." New kid pointed out.

"Oh," Zack muttered, "Leandra, this is Andrew. He's cool." I'd have to see that for myself. Right now, Andrew wasn't helping me any by standing there.

"Leandra," Carlisle took my attention, "I have to go inside for a moment. Are you going to be okay here?"

"No." I whimpered up at him.

"I'll watch her." Zack told him proudly. With a small nod, he turned. Watching him walk away bothered me in the worst way, but I couldn't just follow him like I wanted to. I was sure this was what he was counting on. I couldn't help comparing this to the day of Josh's party, watching Alice walking away.

"So." Zack spoke up again and I looked to him, "What the heck did you do to Mr. Mitchell's face? All we saw was him falling out, and suddenly, there's blood everywhere and Mrs. Coleman is losing her mind."

"I kicked him." I muttered.

"Why?" He asked, surprised. He must not have been there through everything. Maybe just arriving, or not having been paying attention from the start.

"I don't like him." I replied simply.

"No one does." He allowed with a shrug, "But still. That's pretty brave of you."

"Hey, new kid." I looked over a little at the call from behind the fence, "Nice move."

"Shut up, Justin." Zack called back, "You're not helping." He didn't know how right he was. Just looking over there took me a half step back.

"Make me." Justin laughed in response.

Zack shook his head and looked to me again, "Don't mind him."

"Definitely minding." I muttered, looking down.

"You know Dr. Cullen can get into a whole lot of trouble for what you did, right?" Andrew asked shyly, and I looked over at him.

"I'm so sick of everything I do or don't do getting him in trouble." I snapped, "Why-"

"I'm sorry." Andrew told me, surprised, "Wow."

"It's none of your business anyway." I grumbled, calming my tone quite a bit. I tried to calm myself down, but it wasn't exactly possible. It wasn't his fault I hated him yet, but that was quickly changing.

"I'm just saying that you can't go around hitting, or kicking teachers." He replied. Yeah, no shit.

"Then maybe they should just leave me the fuck alone."

The silence wore on for a minute or two, before Andrew spoke again.

"Is he your dad?" He asked.

"Foster dad." I corrected, and he winced, "What?"

"That means what you did today will probably go on record." He answered, "Foster parents are watched pretty closely, you know. Anything a foster kid does bad is doubly bad."

"Thanks." I snapped again. He was really pissing me off with his know-it-all matter-of-factness.

"Hey, don't blame me." He defended himself, "I'm just saying."

"Well, stop saying."

"Calm down, Leandra." Zack chuckled, "He can't help knowing this stuff. His dad's a cop."

I _hated_ cops. There was at least one main thing I had yet to get over, and that was my hatred of cops. Not for anything wrong they'd done to me specifically, but because of the way I was taught to hate them. From the time I was little, I avoided them at all costs, and that meant anything associated with them.

"Well," I muttered, "It's been fun." On that note, I was suddenly fully prepared to try walking back home. I moved to step away, but Andrew moved forward, blocking my path.

"I'm sorry." He said again, "I didn't mean to make you mad."

"I'd give her some space." Zack told him, "When she gets that look, she can be mean."

"Move." I told Andrew.

"Hit him!" Justin called from the fence. I wanted to.

"Shut up, Justin." Zack called back. I rolled my eyes, and attempted to step around Andrew, but he countered.

"I don't want you mad at me," He told me, "But didn't your dad say to stay here?"

"If you don't want me mad at you," I grumbled, "Then move."

"Hey." I didn't look back at the woman's voice now calling from the fence, "You three, come on in here. You're not allowed out there." It was a teacher, come to round us all up and put us inside the fence. She didn't know I didn't belong in there, and if I didn't move now, I wasn't going anywhere. I stepped to the side, and he followed again.

"Move." I told him again. I wasn't about to let myself be roped into going into the cage.

"Leandra-"

"Move."

I clearly heard the gate open behind us, and finally glanced back at the teacher coming out to round us up herself because we weren't listening. I had finally had enough. I shoved Andrew as hard as I could, not surprised by the way he fell, but instead of running off like I wanted to, I kicked him in the stomach just as he rolled in an attempt to stand up.

"Whoa." Zack laughed.

"Yeah!" Justin cheered at the same time. Many, many others cheered as well, having witnessed it the same as Justin did. Laughter echoing through the group at the fence.

I went to kick Andrew again, but he grabbed my foot in an attempt to stop me, unfortunately making me lose my balance, and I hit the pavement as well. Landing on my side. If I had been thinking clearly, I'd have known that it had been an accident, but I wasn't. I hadn't been thinking clearly all morning.

Falling like that _really_ hurt.

So I responded with a punch to his face, which got me released enough to sit up and scramble away. Propelling myself backwards with my feet. I was yanked to my feet, unfortunately still upset and fought with whoever had me. It was the teacher, having come over quicker, as only seconds had passed since I pushed Andrew.

"She didn't mean it." Zack immediately told her, "See, she was-"

"That's enough." She cut him off firmly, "You, get back in there. You two, come with me." Andrew was in trouble as well, even with the slight bruise forming on his face. She helped Andrew to his feet, and though I glared over at him, I didn't try to hit him again. He seemed a little dazed, but not really as upset as I was.

I held in my tears the best I could, not really feeling up to crying in front of everyone again.

"Sorry, Leandra." Zack called.

"It's okay." I whimpered back at him as Andrew and I were tugged toward the front building. Right to the office, the first door inside the building, and we were marched straight inside.

I spotted Carlisle immediately, and he spotted me. His eyes widened a bit in surprise as he and the woman he'd been talking to came straight over. I recognized her as the one outside the car. She must have been the principal.

"Let _go_." I snapped at the teacher whose hand was still on my shoulder. The sleeve of my shirt in her hand, my light struggle didn't do much.

"What happened?" Carlisle asked, taking my arm in his hand and looking it over. I only then realized how badly I'd scraped it up when I fell. Blood trailed from the wounds near my elbow slowly, nearly reaching my hand by then.

"I caught these two fighting." The teacher reported, "I'm not entirely sure who started it."

"I think I have an idea." The principal, who Zack had called Mrs. Coleman, sighed.

"She pushed me." Andrew admitted. I looked to him, surprised.

"He wouldn't move." I countered, incredulous.

"And she kicked me." Andrew took it further, "That kind of hurt."

"You're not bleeding." I snapped, fully prepared to change that fact.

"That's enough of that." Mrs. Coleman spoke firmly, "Mr. Cullen, I'm sorry. Perhaps this would be easiest to attempt another time? I must consider the safety of my students."

I knew what that meant, and that was more than enough to calm me right down. She didn't want me there, and honestly, I couldn't blame her much. She didn't want me there, I didn't want to be there. It seemed like Carlisle was the only one determined to keep me here.

Beside me, Andrew winced at those words. Carlisle sighed and stood up.

"I understand." He told her.

She gave him a very tense smile, "I'm sorry. I just don't think she's right for this school right now."

Right for this school? This was public school. I hadn't even been here more than half an hour, and I was already getting kicked out. Hesitantly, I looked over at Andrew.

"I told you." He muttered quietly to me, "In case you were wondering, no. That's not good."

"Sorry for pushing you." I told him. I purposefully kept my tone quiet, not intending that apology to be anything but an honest apology.

"It's okay." He replied, "Sorry you're getting thrown out."

"I expected it." I admitted, glancing up at Carlisle. He was disappointed, clearly, but there wasn't much I could do about that. The teacher that had hauled us in here finally released my shoulder so Carlisle could take me from her.

He led me outside, right back to the car.

"Sorry, Leandra." Zack called from the fence again, "I did promise to watch you, but there was never any mention about being able to stop you from kicking his ass."

"I would have just hit you too." I replied, "I'm glad you didn't try."

"Me too." He laughed in reply just as the bell rang, "I hope you feel better." I watched him turn, heading for the side of the building.

Inside the trunk, Carlisle had a first-aid kit that would work in cleaning up my scraped arm, and as usual, it looked worse than it really was. Being seated in the open door of the back seat, I held my breath. Trying to calm down.

It stung a bit when he cleaned out the shallow wounds, but I didn't dare complain much. Holding still while he worked, and a single large band-aid covered the wounds effectively. He discarded everything in a nearby trash can, before it was time to go.

Opening the driver's side door, he sat down with a heavy sigh. Aside from my left over sniffling, I stayed quiet. Scooting fully inside the back seat, I shut the door. I knew the signs by now. He wasn't happy. Not in the least.

I'd told him, though. I'd warned them! Over and over and over, and all Carlisle could tell me over and over and over was that I'd be fine. I'd do fine. Fine, fine, fine. That wasn't fine. That was a disaster, just like I knew it'd be. How can he be mad at me if I warned him?

Nervously, I kept my eyes down. Comfortably in the back seat, away from where he could reach me if he wanted to hit me. This was a little bit worse than what I'd done to Lily. This was probably the worst thing I'd done. I knew with enough time, it wouldn't seem so bad to me, but right then, the weight of nervousness and undoubted impending doom kept me still and quiet.

Why was I acting like this? Doing worse and worse things before I could even stop myself.

Not having said a word the entire trip back home, I was pretty nervous as Carlisle parked inside the garage. What was he thinking about? I knew when he was quiet, he was thinking.

He opened my door for me, and hesitantly, I climbed out. Glancing up at him nervously as I stepped away from the car. Why couldn't I do that at the school? I knew he was thinking the same thing, which only made it harder on me.

With his hand lightly on my back, he led me into the house. Urging me slowly ahead of himself as he pushed open the door for me. That helped a little, but I wasn't eased. I wouldn't be until I knew what he was thinking about so hard.

"Leandra?" Esme seemed surprised to see me, and I couldn't blame her. I was supposed to be in school, and no doubt she'd already noticed my bandaged arm. I moved forward immediately and hugged her.

I couldn't help being relieved to be back home. Like I could breathe again. Being out there, especially at the school, it made it hard for me to breathe. Being here again fixed that.

"It didn't go quite as planned." Carlisle admitted with a sigh, "As it turns out, she wasn't exaggerating."

"What happened?" Esme asked, still surprised. Taking my wrist lightly in her hand, she raised my arm to look at the bandage. She seemed more concerned than bothered.

He sighed and looked to me, "Leandra, go to your room."

I looked down nervously, hesitantly moving away from Esme and doing as he told me. He obviously wanted to fill her in without me around, meaning he didn't want me to hear what he had to say. I could take a hint, gently closing my door behind me almost before I was even all the way through it.

I moved away from the door, just so nobody thought I was trying to listen in. Crossing the room, and sitting carefully on the side of my bed. The truth was, I wasn't proud of how I'd acted. I was ashamed, as I knew I should be, but that didn't change anything.

I would do it again if I had to.

I would cry as hard as I had to, I'd deny him as many times as I had to, and I'd kick as many people as I had to. I'd bite them to get my point across. I'd fight Carlisle as much as I had to, I'd fight anyone as much as I had to. That many kids against one of me wasn't happening. Not without a fight.

I wasn't getting left on my own without a fight.

I wasn't sure how long I sat there. Time was something that went both faster and slower in times like this. Slower, because I couldn't hear what they were talking about. Faster, because I dreaded what would happen when they got done talking about whatever they were talking about. I hadn't been in this much trouble yet, so I didn't know what to expect.

The door opened slowly, and I looked up at Carlisle standing there.

"I'm sorry." I blurted before he could speak, "I _had_ to. I just.. Just.. Saw everyone else, and I guess it scared me. I couldn't do what you said, even if I wanted to. I wouldn't let me. I was stuck. I know how stupid that sounds, and I know that sounds like a lie, but it's _not_." I'd started to cry at some point during my mumbled explanation, unable to help it. I just _really_ wanted to get out of trouble, and I figured explaining myself the best I could would help at least a little, and a little was enough for me.

"Leandra." He sighed, trying to shut me up, but I couldn't.

"I know I shouldn't have let myself get stuck like that, but I didn't know it was happening until it happened, and I couldn't stop it." I babbled, "I'm so sorry. I know what I did was bad, kicking that guy, but I didn't want him there. I didn't want to leave the car again, so I kicked him. That's _not_ a good enough reason, and I know that, but I don't do the things I normally do when I'm scared like that."

He sighed again, "Leandra?"

"I don't think when I'm scared like that." I went on, "I just.. Do things, and believe me, I hate myself for doing it when I'm calm enough to hate myself for doing it, but when I'm doing it, it seems like the right thing to do, so I do it, even if it's bad to do it. Like what I did to Andrew. The teacher was coming over, and I knew she wanted me to go into the fence, but he wasn't moving. So I pushed him, and that's when it all went wrong."

"Calm down." He murmured, and I paused for a sobbing breath, hanging my head.

"I'm _so_rry." I sobbed, shaking my head, "If you want to get rid of me, I get it."

"Get rid of you?" He asked, surprised.

"I kind of want to get rid of myself, but that's kind of impossible." I explained.

"Leandra, no." He told me, and I shut up again, "No, you're not going anywhere."

"Are you going to hit me, then?" I asked, looking up.

"Of course not."

"Because that's hit worthy." I pointed out, coughing out a sob.

"No it's not. Leandra, listen to me." He replied almost firmly, and I knew to stay shut up for a little while, "First, there is no reason I can think of that would cause any of us to want to hit you. I understand you've only been here a few short months, and it'll take some time to learn that, but no. You will never be beaten like that while you're here. Not once. Am I clear on that?"

Hesitantly, I nodded a little so he continued, "Good. Second, about what happened at the school.." He trailed off, stepping further into the room with a quiet sigh, "I've been thinking, and thinking hard about how on Earth I can possibly punish you for something you did that was out of your control."

That surprised me. He knew I didn't want to act like that? I watched him close, looking for any sign that this was a trick, but I knew better. Carlisle wasn't cruel like that. Tricking me out of the car was one thing, but calming me down just to change everything up again was a Jack thing. He wasn't anything like Jack.

"It had quickly became apparent to me that that behavior wasn't your choice." He murmured, "So why would I punish you for something you couldn't control? No. I can't, and won't be scolding or punishing you for that. I understand that you had no choice but to act that way, so I must apologize to you."

"To me?" I asked as he kneeled in front of me, "Why me? I was the bad one."

"I didn't fully understand before just how deep this fear went, and I refused to believe you." He replied, "You weren't bad, Leandra. You were telling us repeatedly that this was something that you needed help with. Help that involved more than just trying to drop you somewhere that you were uncomfortable, but nobody listened, so I do apologize. It doesn't surprise me in the least that you've managed to develop a sort of phobia of other people after the life you've had, and I should have considered that before anyone could get hurt. It was foolish of me, and I'm sorry."

I looked down. Was that what it was? A phobia? I didn't know if he was right or not. All I knew was that I couldn't let myself be anywhere near those animals alone.

I knew that wasn't all there was to it, and I knew I was probably going to get a decent scolding when everyone else got home, but for right then, I could try to calm down a little. It'd been a very bad day for me, so sitting with Esme was all I wanted to do. I wondered how badly my scraped arm was bothering her, but if it bothered her, she wasn't letting on. Even with me curled up right against her side.

Now and then she'd sigh, smooth my hair and say, "Oh, Leandra." She was disappointed too, but I didn't blame her. I didn't know what to say to that, so I never said much. I just appreciated the calm moment for what it was. At the school, it seemed to go on forever. It was nice to feel safe again.

I wasn't sure where Carlisle had gone off to. Somehow, I believed him when he told me I wasn't going anywhere. That made any calm at all possible, but I couldn't help wondering what the next move would be. I was obviously more broken than he thought, and that wasn't going to change no matter how much everyone denied it.

I didn't move when I heard the others get home. Despite the way Esme looked toward the garage from where she sat holding onto me. I felt bad enough, and really wasn't looking forward to the demand for answers when they figured out I was here instead of at school for another hour, but running wasn't going to keep that from happening.

I did glance up at Carlisle descending the stairs, though, and for a moment, I hoped he'd take their disappointment for me, but I couldn't count on that too much. He'd probably been up there trying to figure out what to do about me. Forks only had one elementary school, and the one in Sappho was only open to those that lived there.

"Leandra?" Jasper's surprise was justified. I glanced over, finding his confused gaze, as well as everyone else's. He looked to Carlisle, "What happened?"

It was my turn to be surprised. He wasn't mad at me, but worried. That would probably change, though, when he and the others were told what I'd done. So I waited, sitting quietly and keeping my eyes down as Carlisle got into the explanation.

"Serves him right." Emmett snorted, to my surprise, "Trying to corner shorty like that, he deserved it."

"I really didn't expect that to work a second time." Carlisle admitted, shaking his head, "I never should have allowed it, so that was purely my fault."

"So how did she get hurt?" Alice asked.

"A small disagreement with another student." He replied, "Both of them are fine. It's only a scrape. Nothing serious, but something best covered. Considering."

"Disagreement?" Jasper prompted.

"While I was inside the school trying to sort out the first incident, she was being pressured to join the other students, and this particular boy wouldn't let her move away." He explained, "She decided it needed to get physical."

"He deserved it too." Emmett muttered, "He should have moved." He looked to me, "I'm guessing you told him to get out of the way?"

"More than once." I mumbled, "Zack told him too. It didn't work."

"Then it's not that big of a problem." Emmett shrugged, "If anything, it proves she knows how to take care of herself."

"The problem is, the school's principal didn't see it that way." Carlisle corrected, "She wasn't nearly as forgiving as we are, and I personally can't blame her, because all she's doing is protecting the other students, but that does pose a problem for Leandra."

Emmett sighed, "So how about we just go with the idea I gave you from the beginning? Home-school her. Esme is a way better teacher than any of the morons working for schools these days."

"Thank you." Esme smiled at him.

"But there is still the issue of her learning to tolerate people." Alice argued, "How is she going to learn that-"

"Give it time, Alice." He argued right back, "That's what her little friends are for. Let them work on her for a little bit. I think they've been doing just fine a job already. Through them, she'll probably be forced to meet new friends sooner or later anyway. I think it needs to happen on her own time anyway.

"And who even cares if she doesn't have five hundred friends? Who cares if she's not gone all week at some practice or another, or running around to fifty 'friends' houses a day? If the kid wants to stay here, dammit, let her stay here. There's nothing wrong with her wanting the company of family. I'd rather have her here and comfortable than out there somewhere trying to make it work around humans she wants nothing to do with."

Even I stared at him in the silence, unable to really believe his speech.

"Uh." He paused at all the stares, "In my opinion."

"I want to agree with you." Alice sighed after a moment, "I really do. There's just one little problem."

"What's that?" He asked.

"The only reason she wants nothing to do with them, is because of him." She replied, and I looked down, wincing a little.

"Out of everything he's taught her, that's what you're caught up on?" Emmett asked, frowning, "It could be a whole lot worse, and you know it. Her wanting to avoid humans is a whole lot better than her wanting to run around killing them." I didn't _want_ to hurt anyone. That was part of the whole worry.

"I agree." Carlisle spoke up with a slight nod.

"I think considering how much of a psychopath this guy is, her wanting to stay where it's safe isn't so bad." Emmett added, and I couldn't help smiling a little.

Clearly, this needed a lot of discussion, but for right then, I wasn't in trouble. They weren't mad at me, and that meant a lot. It also meant a lot that they finally seemed to understand where I was coming from. They knew that when I argued about something, I knew what I was talking about.

To me, that was a huge step forward.

**A/N: Chapter two, down. I hope it was satisfactory. :)  
THANK YOU to those that chose to review last chapter! :D I know you probably get tired of reading this over and over and over and over, but it's still just as true as the day I first said (err.. Typed) it. You guys make my day. :) More than you know!**  
**Chapter three should be along without too much difficulty, so that's a plus, right? **  
**Until Three, my friends! :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

"You're a legend." Zack was way more excited about this than I was, "Everyone knows who you are."

"That's not helping." I grumbled.

At first, I'd been way too embarrassed to see them. It took me until Sunday to see them, but I could only go for a few hours in the afternoon, since they had school the next day. I sensed this would be an issue. I was so used to being able to spend all day with them, and regretted not getting over it before the weekend was up.

Apparently, even though I never actually went to school, I was being talked about. It also didn't help that many people from multiple grades had seen for themselves what I had done just to get out of becoming one of them.

I was relieved to know that Andrew was fine. I hadn't hit him that hard, just hard enough to get him to let go of my foot, so that was a good thing.

"I always miss the good stuff." Josh was quite disappointed.

"That's what you get for being born two years before us." Zack grinned. He looked to me, "It'll blow over soon. Watch. Someone else will do something stupid, and that'll be big news. How long do you think you'll be home schooled?"

"Hopefully forever." I replied, but even I knew better.

"But how cool would it be to have you at my school?" Zack asked, "Nobody would mess with you."

"Justin seemed a little.." I trailed off.

"Oh, him?" He asked, "He was only tough behind the fence. If you were standing in front of him, he'd wet his pants." I laughed a little at that, shaking my head, "It's true."

"You gave a teacher a bloody nose." Josh pointed out, "Do you know what that says to everyone else?"

"I was just scared."

"They don't know that, or even care." Zack replied, "All they care about is that you did."

"But I didn't _want_ to do that." I sighed, "Doesn't that matter?"

"Not really, no." Zack laughed quietly.

That was comforting.

Expressing my worry about it at home later that night, Emmett chuckled one word.

"Reputation."

Reputation as what? What did that even really mean? Sure they knew about me now, and that would probably help a little in keeping people away from me, but it would also bring out all the ones wanting a challenge. I didn't want that. I was a little reluctant to be poked or prodded into fighting with someone.

That was not very high up on my list of things to think much about, though.

I could feel it coming, and I always knew when a bad day was coming. I could always tell, so this was nothing new. I just wasn't sure what it could have been that brought it on.

Sitting there that evening, I could tell. Esme always watched me closely when she sensed a bad day was coming, but my lack of thorough responses to her questions, or lack of wanting much to eat was a really good indication I wasn't really there.

It was so hard on me, so hard to break myself out of this mood, that I learned not to even bother. I couldn't stop it, so why try? It was like constantly floating in an ocean, and I could clearly see the wave coming straight for me, but I couldn't avoid it. So I just closed my eyes and waited to drown again.

I'd expected it, so it wasn't a surprise.

However, that night just after falling asleep, I did dream again. It was nothing light, or easy to handle. It was one of those dreams that stuck even after I woke up. The ones that left me with a particular smell or taste in my mouth, or sound in my head. The images still vivid, waiting just behind my eyes for me to close them and become real again. I hated dreams like this, but there was nothing in the world that could keep them away.

Sitting there, the thunder and the dumping rain outside. Seeming to match my mood.

It was dreams like this that really made me see again. Filling my head with the threat I was still undoubtedly under. They made me fully realize that Jack was still out there somewhere. Still free. Probably just biding his time. Waiting for the moment when he'd come to find me.

It was dreams like this that made that normally small sliver of insecurity blossom into something much bigger than I was. Despite knowing I was safe, protected when my family was around me, I couldn't help wondering. When would I see him again? When would he come back for me? Would he decide I wasn't worth it anymore, and kill me?

There were also other more pressing issues I had to deal with. Nights like this made that impossible to deny.

Like how it seemed to me that there was another part of me, other than the part everybody saw, that wanted to be afraid and hide away. Turning on itself, and turning on me.

It felt to me like even though he was no longer around me, or me around him, these dreams were still teaching me. I was still learning from them. That even though Jack wasn't there to teach me, I was teaching myself.

All those years of living with him, I learned so many things I never should have, but when I was smaller, to me, it was just something he did. Not quite normal, but I accepted it. That acceptance was what was hurting me now.

I could never forget it, and I could never ignore what that did to me. Just attempting to think back to some of the points of my past, threatened to squeeze tears from my eyes, but knowing I shouldn't cry. A darkness in me wanted to hold onto me, and never let me go, and it was unshakable.

Nobody knew what I struggled with. Nobody really knew how hard, or how dark this was.

All they knew, was the smallest bit of details. I was beaten, and I was hurt. Repeatedly taught what it felt like to feel pain, but it was more than that. They didn't understand yet how thorough he really was. There was a lot more to it than that. Something behind those small details that they didn't understand without an explanation I really wasn't willing to give.

They didn't understand how deep those scars ran. As if those scars were all that held me together. They didn't understand that when I went silent, my thoughts were loud. They didn't know that when I was quiet, I was remembering the harder times. They didn't realize that when I was quiet, that was when I felt the most pain. Remembering the way he shouted, and the way he whispered.

They knew the basics, they knew the main details, but underneath that, there was an infection I couldn't fix. A sort of poison in me that I thought if I ever let anybody know about what I lived through, I'd poison and infect them too. A poison that kept my heart beating a little too quick, my tension a little too high.

A part of me I kept hidden, not mentioning a word about it. A part of me that no amount of good days could put back together. I wanted to deny it, to lie to them, and I did for the most part. That lie was part of the best behavior I was constantly striving for. If I was good, maybe they'd hate me less when they did find out.

There were six years of horrifying details I couldn't even think about, much less speak about. Things he did, and put me through that I'd never speak about. Fear keeping those secrets. Things he'd say to me, especially when he was in a darker mood. Things he'd tell me, and things I'd listen to. I had no other choice.

I could still hear all he told me. I could still feel everything I felt, and see everything I saw.

They didn't hear the sound of his voice when he wasn't shouting, or being condescending. They didn't hear what his voice sounded like in a murmur, or a whisper. They didn't know what it was like for me to want to cringe away with my entire body, but being unable to, because fear kept me still. To be trapped that way. All the time. Nearly every day, all day.

Six years of darkness that would always be a part of me, and continue to teach me that hate was the one way I could be happy. To blame, and to hate others who were supposed to keep me from that sort of fate. To blame, and to hate others who never had to live that sort of life.

To blame and hate my sister, because she got to have my dad. To blame and hate my mother, because she was supposed to be protecting me. Finding out she was behind my dad's disappearance from my life made the hate I felt for him crawl on over to her side. Doubling the hate and blame I held for her.

But I fought it. Day in and day out, because I didn't want to be that way. I didn't want to be like Jack, but I knew better. Even from this day forward, if I never saw him again, I'd still turn out like him. At least, to some degree.

And if I could keep the others from knowing that, if I could hide my thoughts from Edward for as long as I could, I would. The only one that could possibly begin to understand how much I suffered would be Jasper. He could feel it, but he just couldn't understand why. He was always watching out for me, and part of me really appreciated that, but he really understood the agony it was to live with my emotions when they escaped.

I didn't know if I should talk to him about it or not, as that would open the subject up for discussion. Something I really didn't want. I wanted to hide from it, and talking about it would just destroy that, however I did need to tell Jasper to not mention my pain to anyone else. I needed him to lie and to keep that a secret, like I was. That was something I fought with since I first settled here.

Because my family didn't need to know how dark the world could be. How suffocating it could be just to breathe. To keep breathing. I wanted to hide the disturbing truth, because they were such loving people. I guess I just wanted to protect them from knowing what kind of place the world was.

Or so I told myself.

I was probably more afraid of them discovering what kind of person I was. By admitting all of the things that happened, and all of the things I remembered and felt, I worried they'd finally agree with Jack, and discover how I wasn't worth it anymore. How I never had been worth it. I'd die the day that happened.

Up until that dream, the vision I'd had of my family, my life had been nothing but a damning nightmare. Day, night, every single second, a living nightmare. One that ensured I would always be this way. Ensured that I would never be normal, and I'd always remember these things. .

My dreams would always be a thing to fear, because they were always real to me. Vivid reminders of things I'd gone through, and one of the many reasons why I still feared the darkness of a room without the light on. Why I couldn't get passed that one childish fear.

Those few extra days with Jack were proving to be just as influential as six entire years of my life. I would never admit it, because I wanted to hide from it myself, but I hated much more thoroughly than any of them knew. I was capable of much more than any of them knew, and I knew that.

Needless to say, I didn't sleep at all that night. Sitting there, locked in my own head just like the bad night before. I really hadn't been expecting a bad night this soon, but it was undeniable that I'd be in pain for at least the next day.

I wasn't surprised when Jasper ratted me out and sent Esme into my room to check on me. Sometime passed two in the morning, when I still hadn't slept, she came in. Allowing the light from the hallway to illuminate me sitting up, and she knew immediately that though the light was on me, I was still stuck in the dark. One glance from me told her I was hurting, and hurting badly. I hated worrying her like this, but I literally couldn't stop it.

I'd never admit to her just what my pain was about, but she didn't exactly need to know what it was about to offer her support. The ache of emptiness would always be there, and she'd probably always want to help me with it, but all that was doing was teaching me how to live with it.

It hurt me so much, and there was nothing in the world I could do to fix that.

She would try talking to me, but even she had to know by now that when I got like this, I wouldn't say anything. It was rare to get me to say anything when I was like this. This was different from when I'd go silent during a questioning. This was closing myself off, refusing to let anyone see what I hid.

So there's where we sat until near morning. Thoughts spinning through my head too fast to stop. Wounding me, hurting me even more without having to move. It was pure and hellish torture. Everything my life before held scrolled through my thoughts.

My eyes closed, but I wasn't sleeping. I wasn't sleeping, but I was almost dreaming. Stuck in a waking nightmare that nobody could pull me out of. I was drowning again, and I just had to hold on until I could get to the surface again. I just had to hold on, though the pain ensured I didn't want to, because no matter how I felt about it, it wouldn't be enough to kill me.

One sight, however, stopped all those thoughts in their tracks and sent a chill of almost panic through my stomach to numb my limbs for a brief moment. Opening my eyes, someone rounding the door frame startled me out of my own misery for just long enough to think. To stand there and observe, no doubt.

Edward met my eyes, and I understood immediately that he'd been here for quite a bit of time, and I never even knew it. Had I known it, I would have done more to stop those thoughts before he could see them, but as it stood right now, he'd seen plenty. More than enough to understand, and far more than I ever, _ever_ wanted him to see.

Through the numbing panic, the first thing I felt was embarrassment. Humiliation, and after that, came the sorrow. I was sorry he had to see all that, but I didn't know he was there! What must he have seen? All the things I'd gone through. All the things Jack had done to me, said to me, made me do..

I sat upright slowly from where I sat leaned against Esme, horrified _for_ him. I hadn't known, otherwise I never would have willingly let my thoughts through like that.

"I'm so sorry." I spoke for the first time that entire time.

"Don't." He spoke, and his voice was tight, "Don't apologize. Just.. Don't." I couldn't understand his tone, but I knew enough to know it wasn't anything good. I winced, looking down.

"Edward?" Esme prompted.

"That man shouldn't be allowed to live." Edward murmured, and I'd never heard him speak that way before as my eyes found his again. He was angry. Struggling, it looked like, to fix his emotions like I did so often. I'd been there.

I sat there, stunned into stillness, watching as he shook his head and turned. Leaving the doorway. I really, truly and honestly didn't mean to piss him off. I didn't mean to make him mad, and I sure didn't mean to torture him like that.

I wanted to cry again, but for a different reason. I felt so horrible, so guilty and ashamed for putting him through that. Whether or not I knew he was here didn't matter to me. All that mattered to me was that I had.

I forced myself to scramble out of bed as Esme stood up as well. I rounded the doorway just in time to see the front door slam shut, and Jasper standing up. Carlisle followed Edward quickly, and though I knew it was only to calm him down, I felt even worse.

"How long has he been here?" I asked, my voice muted and trembling with emotion. I needed to know how much he'd seen.

"All night, Leandra." Jasper replied. I closed my eyes in something that felt an awful lot like despair, embarrassment chewing and clawing at my mind.

"I didn't mean to, I just.." I couldn't offer much an explanation, "I-I didn't know that he was here, or I.. I didn't mean to make him mad."

"No." Jasper instantly told me, "No, it wasn't you. He's not mad at you, Leandra."

I didn't buy it.

"He saw everything." I whimpered, my wide eyes burning with renewing and unshed tears. He saw everything. How could he not be mad at me? He knew what kind of person I was, and though I had no doubts he had an idea before, now it was a real possibility.

I returned to my room. I even denied Esme's company this time. I didn't deserve it.

Choosing to lay on my side on my bed, as I really didn't want to see what would happen when he came back. If he came back. I felt sick, my stomach turning against me with the guilt and shame. I felt so bad, horrible for putting him through that, and I was convinced he would push for me to find a new place to live.

I'd understand. If he didn't want me there, I'd understand. It was his house first, and I was just someone coming along with no real worth. There was no benefit to keeping me. Eventually, I knew they'd all find out and that would be it for me here. Gift, or no gift.

Unfortunately, I had to let my eyes close. They were aching so badly from the emotion I let escape, the tears still coating my cheeks. I just closed them to rest them, but my exhausted mind had other plans.

I was so relieved when I woke up on my own, I wanted to cry. I would have, if my eyes hadn't still felt so sore. I hadn't dreamed, and that was the best thing that ever could have happened to me. I was disoriented, however. I hadn't actually meant to fall asleep.

Pushing myself up, sitting upright I thought back to hours ago, and that relief I felt just moments ago turned around on me. Switching, changing into something like a resigned depression. By now, Edward would have at least told Carlisle everything, and I was moments from losing everything I ever considered home. As Emmett said, what Carlisle said went.

He wouldn't want me. He might not be the type to hit me, but getting rid of me would hurt far worse. I'd rather be hit a hundred times than be made to leave because I was a bad person. Definitely not good enough to stay here. Edward would make him see that I wasn't worth much.

Giving a glance around my dimly lit bedroom, I wasn't sure what to do. Should I pack some stuff first, or go out and see where they decided to send me first? Would they even let me take stuff with me? It was theirs, after all. Would they even want it after I had it?

I shook my head, and looked down at my hands. That one bad night had pretty much costed me everything I had.

Should I even bother going out to face them? Or should I just find my own way out through the window? Maybe Jack was right. Maybe everything he told me was true. I wouldn't ever have anything better than him. I was grateful, though, for the time I did have here.

I couldn't just leave, though. I had to at least thank them.

With a yawn and residual sniffle, I climbed off my bed. Hesitating several times, I had to keep convincing myself that this was the right way to go about things. Facing anybody after they knew now seemed so impossible.

I took a deep breath, held it, and opened my door. Hesitating a moment longer before stepping out. Rounding the doorway, I chanced a silent glance up. The only one looking my way, however, was the one I really was not expecting to see.

"Oh, God." I whined, rounding back into my room.

"Leandra, wait." Edward called, "Wait."

I couldn't. I couldn't even look at him without the same shame and humiliation I felt the night before threatening to turn my stomach. I closed my door again behind me, whimpering into silence as I leaned back against it.

Not only was I embarrassed at torturing him like that, but he'd seen everything. He knew. He watched my life play through my head like a movie. I couldn't stand that thought. Nobody was supposed to know that. Not one person. I would have died with those memories, but now that someone actually knew, that was ruined and it made me feel very insecure.

I wasn't mad at him. How could I be? I wasn't mad at him, because I knew it wasn't his fault. It was mine. It was always mine.

"Leandra?" He'd come to the door, knocking softly on it, "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Please don't." I whimpered, "I know what you're going to say."

"You actually have no idea what I'm going to say." He replied through the door, "I understand that you somehow fell under the impression that I was angry at you last night."

I didn't bother replying. Moving away from the door, straight to my bed.

"I understand how that could happen, but I assure you-"

"Please go away." I whispered, but I knew he heard it. This was hard enough. He had to see how badly I needed to hide from him.

"I'm not angry at you, Leandra." He told me, "I was angry at the situations he put you in. The things he put you through. I was angry at him, Leandra. Not you."

I stayed quiet. Not bothering to reply. I'd heard him, and I knew he knew I heard him, but the words never stuck. It just didn't make sense to me how he could possibly not be angry at me for what I did to him. Without even knowing. How selfish could I be?

"Think about it." He urged quietly, "One more thing. I haven't told anyone." That took my attention, and I slowly looked toward the closed door. The others didn't know?

"No." He answered, "They don't. Those are your thoughts, Leandra. Your memories. I can't avoid overhearing them, but that does not give me the right to share them with everyone else. If you're not ready to talk about them, then that's that. They're yours to share when you see fit. Not mine."

I took a deep breath and nodded a little. That eased me quite a bit, but the embarrassment stayed. I might not be getting kicked out after all, but he still knew. He saw everything I recalled, and that bothered me.

"Don't blame yourself." I knew what he meant, "Please don't blame yourself. You have no reason to feel responsible for what he did to you." I turned away from the door then. He was wrong.

After about a minute longer of silence, I heard him sigh.

"Come on out when you're ready." I appreciated that. He seemed to understand my need to hide away while I came to terms with the thought that he knew everything now. It would definitely take some time to get used to that.

I didn't come out until I absolutely had to, and that was for the bathroom. I knew I just had to make it through today. I just had to survive today.

Everyone knew me well enough by now to know that when I stayed in my room like this, I wouldn't be looking for company, or someone to tell me how I didn't need to put myself through this. I just wanted to be left alone.

It was always so hard to shake off my emotions when I got like this, but even worse now with embarrassment thrown into the mix. It usually only took me a day of hiding away before I wanted company again, and surprisingly, this time was no different.

Not to mention the fact that I was finally hungry again. That usually helped get me out of my cave, and this time, I figured if I wasn't being kicked out yet, I wasn't going to be.

Esme was cooking already by the time I came out, so I knew she was going to bring me something anyway if I hadn't come out on my own.

I slowly approached, and took my usual spot on the couch with Emmett. He always waited right there for me when I got like this. Knowing I'd come out eventually, and find that spot. He was a naturally light-hearted person. My heart was heavy enough for both of us, so it almost balanced everything out. He almost always helped me to bounce back.

"Bad night, shorty?" He observed, and I nodded. Taking a quiet breath, fighting more tears. I'd had not only a bad night, but a worse than usual night. He offered a small smile as I glanced over at him, "I heard what happened. I get mad when Eddy sneaks up on me too."

Unable to help it, I grew a small smile of my own.

"You'll be alright." He offered, covering and squeezing my hand on the couch.

Emmett was always extra nice to me when I felt this bad. Not trying to comfort me, but just being there. He never tried to get me to talk about it, but I knew the option was there if I needed it. I hadn't yet, but it was nice all the same.

I refused to sleep that night, too afraid of everything starting all over again, and the following morning, I sat there struggling through some fifth grade reading material that Esme had given me. I had no trouble with it, but my concentration was shot. Half laying on the counter, I was exhausted and extremely worn out.

I wasn't "officially" being home-schooled yet, but she thought it was a good idea to keep me caught up to the other kids my age while we waited for approval.

I hoped she'd let me skip the math part that day. Everything else, I'd be fine with, but I hated math and I was pretty sure that math hated me.

Esme was probably the only teacher I knew that could multitask easily. She could explain something in detail while cleaning the entire house, without me feeling like I was bugging her or in the way. I could get a little caught up on a word I wasn't familiar with, and she'd know exactly what word it was, even if I never said anything more than the first letter. She might not have been particularly distracted, but I sure was.

Her focus was on me, and everything else at once. It was pretty cool, and I couldn't blame her for wanting to get this stuff done, as Bella's birthday party was that evening. A party that had been planned for a month, and that Bella didn't even know about until that day.

I didn't mind this thought so much.

A birthday party that I wasn't the center of. One I didn't have to dread or endure. It was just Bella. I knew Bella, so this was acceptable. Something to get mine and everyone's focus off of me for a little while.

"I'm going to get so fat on all this cake." I muttered, eyeing the cake sitting on the counter. Mine, then Josh's, now Bella's? Not being used to it, I was pretty caked out by then.

Esme laughed a little from the next room, "I'm sure she'll want to take most of it home."

"I wouldn't mind." I replied, "One bit."

I couldn't shake the nervousness, though. I couldn't understand it. I was assured it'd only be Bella here, and Bella never bothered me to be around before, so why was I nervous about this?

I found it awfully convenient that nobody mentioned me needing to change my clothes until the stupid dress was laid in front of me about twenty minutes before the party would begin. Bella and Edward were already here, staying upstairs until everything was finished being set up. That included me. I stared at it incredulously, before looking up at Alice.

"It's alright." I told her, "But isn't it a little small for you?"

"It's not for me." She knew full well I knew who it was for.

"You want _me_ to wear _that_?" I asked, "It'd look better on Zack."

"Now that, I doubt." She laughed a little, "Come on. It's not going to bite."

"But I _hate_ dresses." I argued, "You know that."

"It's a special occasion." She countered, "I didn't make you wear one for your birthday. Please humor me." I hesitated, sighing out a groan of defeat. Staring at the fabric laid on my bed with distaste, but I knew I'd already been enough of a pain in the ass lately, so I shook my head, but lifted it. I could relent on this one.

I wasn't especially against it. I just hated the feel of it. I could suffer for a few hours if it made her happy. I was being allowed to stay here. I could humor her.

It was a light blue color, and the top part was sleeveless, with little yellow flowers embroidered on it. I wanted to set it on fire, but I knew that wouldn't go over well, so I just put it on instead, buttoning the three buttons at the top with a quiet and bitter, "I hate you."

They'd just gotten me comfortable in t-shirts instead of sweaters. This thing did very little to hide my upper back and shoulders, much less any part of my arms.

"Oh," Emmett grinned once he saw me, "Don't you look so pretty?" And I took a swing, which he dodged easily.

"I've got to teach you how to throw a punch, shorty." He chuckled, catching me before I could fall off balance. This was what I didn't want. I hated dresses, and I missed the coverage of jeans.

"Don't tell me that." I snapped, glaring up at him, "Not ever."

Seeing he'd actually pissed me off, he stopped laughing, but kept his smirk. I was a little sensitive when I was uncomfortable, and I was very uncomfortable. I was sensitive anyway, considering I hadn't slept in close to two days.

"I'm sorry." He said, "I didn't mean anything by it." I decided to let it go, glancing to Carlisle as I sat down on the couch.

"I would have been fine in jeans." I muttered bitterly, "I don't see why I have to wear this stupid fucking thing." Emmett snorted, trying to hide his chuckle.

"Leandra." Esme corrected, "You shouldn't use language like that."

"Delicate little flower." Emmett commented, moving over to help Rosalie light candles.

"Sorry." I mumbled, "I look so stupid."

"Uh, no you don't." Alice replied, giving me an incredulous look, "Nobody in this family ever looks stupid."

"You look mean." Emmett offered, "But not stupid." I glared up at him, and he grinned, "See? Terrifying." Despite how irritated I still felt, I smiled a little, looking back down as he spoke again, "Light blue is your color, though. It makes the color of your eyes seem even scarier." I was back to glaring with a slight hint at a pout.

"I like my eye color." I told him, "Leave my eyes out of this." I grew suspicious at his widened smile, "What?" What the hell had I said to make this more amusing to him?

"That's the first time I've ever heard you say you liked something about yourself." He replied, and surprised, I realized he was right. I'd always expressed dislike or hatred for everything having to do with myself. No matter what it was, but I did like my eye color.

It was almost a unique shade of green. A few shades darker than the hazel I'd seen on other people, and under certain light, could almost look blue.

"Well, I do." I muttered, inspecting a mosquito bite on my arm, "So don't make fun of them."

"It's definitely a start." Jasper pointed out from the side, smiling a little.

"If you say so." I finally sighed, shrugging a little.

I always appreciated it when they never really treated me different after those nights. It made me feel better about it. Like it wasn't the end of the world, which was how I knew I'd be okay for a little while. Until the next bad night.

"Are you done picking on her, Emmett?" Alice asked, her hands on her hips.

"Finished." Emmett grinned in reply, "All done. For now, anyway." I smiled a little, looking over at him.

"Good." She said, "May I please bring them down now?"

"Of course, your majesty." He answered.

"At least someone recognizes the title." She smiled, skipping up the stairs. Keeping my slight smile until it faded on its own, I stood up with a sigh, moving to Emmett's free side. Rosalie had his other side. He looked down at me, hugging my shoulders.

"Forgive me?" He asked and I nodded a little. I kept quiet, though. Returning the hug as much as I could. Something didn't sit right with me. Along with being uncomfortable, I was nervous. I felt it in my stomach, and in my throat, and actually wondered if I would throw up. Maybe having to wear this stupid dress actually made me sick? Or it could have been the fact that I'd hardly eaten much of anything lately. Emotion having stolen my appetite.

I realized I'd just have to grit my teeth and deal with it, as Alice started back down the stairs with Edward and Bella in tow.

That's when I moved to the side. The same sense of nervousness I'd felt the entire day pitting in my stomach in a more intense way, and I didn't like it. It wasn't exactly Bella that made me nervous. I knew that much, which confused the hell out of me. I just couldn't understand it.

Glancing up at Jasper beside me, he glanced at me in return. Not commenting. He understood, given the nod he gave me. He felt my nervousness too, and for a moment, I found myself wondering. Did my nervousness make him nervous? He felt everything I felt, but did it alter his own mood to do that?

That would suck, I decided, and without the option to turn it off, he'd be stuck always depending on the mood of others to feel what he wanted to feel.

So there I stayed, trying to ignore the nervousness constantly rolling in my stomach. I looked up at Jasper, still wondering if he felt nervous too. He sure seemed to. From what I could tell anyway. It only got worse as time went on, though, and I hoped he wasn't upset with me for being so nervous, but it made it better that he and I seemed to be the only ones nervous.

Bella's gifts weren't nearly as numerous as mine had been, so I knew it wouldn't take nearly as long as my birthday party had, but that didn't help me. If anything, looking to the tiny gift pile bothered me. Was there something wrong with them? Alice choosing one at a time to hand her, me watching each one closely as it changed hands.

How would I explain that, though? About the third, I decided to try.

"Jasper." I murmured, worried now. I managed to take his attention for just a second before I clearly heard Bella's mutter of pain, and I couldn't blame him for looking her direction. I did too.

I realized she'd cut her finger on the thick paper of the gift she held, and I winced a little. I hated paper cuts. That thing would sting for days.

Everything sped up then.

Before I even realized what was happening, I was suddenly back. Shoved backwards and landing onto my butt on the carpet with a grunt, far away from Jasper in time for him to completely lose it. I hadn't even finished rolling back to roughly hit the wall before he was running forward.

I sat there, quite a distance back as Edward shoved Bella backwards first, before catching Jasper next. Shoving him back across the room, back toward me. I realized then, as Jasper landed on the unsuspecting piano, what had happened.

The blood that escaped the paper cut in Bella's finger was too much, and Jasper realized that. He felt himself slipping, so he shoved me away from him right before he snapped. Focused on Bella, and her blood escaping, I didn't appeal to him.

Seeing first hand what blood could turn them into, I had to admit I was scared. The ache of nervousness in my stomach had turned into the chilling rush of fear while I watched things happen almost too quickly for me to watch.

Thankfully as the others restrained him, he didn't even look at where I was. I probably would have screamed, but he never did. I wasn't hurt like Bella was, I noticed, as I watched the blood flow slowly down her arm.

Sure, my butt ached from landing on it, and my chest hurt from where he shoved me, but I was fine. A little shocked, but fine.

Things slowed down again. Everything seeming to pause right there, nobody moving and ensuring Jasper didn't either. I found it rather difficult to breathe or catch what breath I'd lost by being shoved, but that felt more like a mild form of panic than actually being hurt. The trembling I felt was unmistakable.

"Leandra." Esme murmured as they took Jasper from the house, "Honey." She kneeled beside me, helping me stand up.

"I'm fine." I immediately said, trying to shake off my instinctive fear, "I'm okay. He moved me before anything could happen." She sighed, in relief as she smoothed my dress down.

"You're sure you're okay?" She asked, and I glanced over as Carlisle helped Bella up the stairs.

"I'm fine." I nodded, "I know he didn't mean it." Despite what I said, despite how I thought I felt, I guess I was more shaken up than I thought, and I started to cry before I'd even finished saying that.

I hated the fact that I did so, because I did know he didn't mean it. I just couldn't help crying. Immediately, she put her arms around me, comforting me as I returned her hug, crying into her shoulder.

"Come on, sweetheart." Slowly, she walked with me outside. Out onto the porch. The darkness around me only chilled me more, but it did help my attempts to stop crying. It helped clear my head, and stung my eyes just enough to clear them with deep breaths.

The only one out there besides us was Rose. The others must have been out with Jasper.

"Rose," Esme said, "Please keep her company. She's a little shaken up. I need to clean up inside." I clearly saw the way Rosalie detested the idea, but nodded. Esme gave my hair one last comforting smooth, before leaving my side.

I stood there, awkwardly holding my arm.

"You don't have to stand around with me, you know." I mumbled, "I'm fine." I sat down on the top step stiffly, sniffling as I struggled to stop crying. She didn't even acknowledge I'd spoken, and I concentrated on my aching backside. I'd landed pretty hard.

"That happens, you know." She told me after a minute, a hint of hidden bitterness in her tone, "I'm shocked it hasn't happened sooner. Jazz is getting better, though. Especially since he had just enough control not to turn and kill you." That made me a little nervous, but I didn't reply.

"I think he knew Edward would stop him." She mused, her bitter tone fading, and I listened, "He knew Edward would stop him, because he knew the snap was coming. He's good like that, but he knew nobody was close enough to protect you. You just mean that much to him, I guess."

I took a deep, shaky breath. Calming down further. I'd never really had much interaction with Rosalie. I was pretty sure she still hated me for almost barfing in her car, but of course, only she'd know the real answer to that.

"So when he gets back, do me a favor." I looked up at her, "Now that you've had your cry, tell him you're fine."

"I will." I replied immediately, "He probably already feels bad enough, and I _am_ fine. I just wasn't expecting that, is all." She nodded a bit.

"Edward's probably going to overreact." She sighed, "You watch." I didn't know what to say to that, but fell silent as movement across the yard caught my attention. Alice and Emmett came from the trees.

"How's he doing?" Rosalie asked as Alice made it to her.

"He's been better." Alice replied quietly, "How's Bella?"

"She's fine." Rose sighed, "Carlisle's taking care of her. Esme's cleaning up, so it should be safe to go back in soon." Alice's eyes fell on me, and she immediately sat beside me. Hugging me. I grunted a little with the force of it, wanting to tell her that this wasn't helping me catch my breath, but it did feel nice.

"I'm okay." I assured her, with more confidence this time, "It's okay."

"I'm so sorry, Leandra." She told me, "We were all just.. So focused on Bella, and-"

"It's fine." I laughed a little, "I'm not hurt anywhere." That was a lie. My chest hurt, and it was a little tough to breathe, but I was probably just sore, and had the wind knocked from me.

Before she could insist, the three of them looked back to the trees. Edward crossed the yard without even really looking at us, and the look in his eyes made my heart sink as he stepped passed all of us, up the steps and into the house. My head turned, my gaze following him until he disappeared inside.

Jasper followed a few steps behind, deeply angry at himself given the look in his eyes, but he stopped with us outside. He didn't go inside, which was probably the right move.

"Are you alright?" He asked me pointedly, and though I was a little intimidated by his tone, I smiled a little.

"I'm fine." I told him, "Tired of nobody believing me, but I'm fine. I'm not hurt or anything. That carpet is pretty soft, and my butt is pretty padded." Another lie, but I added another small smile, laughing a little along with Emmett.

I was fairly sure wanting to make someone feel better came with its own set of emotions that he could understand. I wasn't mad at him, or upset with him. I wasn't afraid anymore, because I recognized him again. I wasn't injured, or concerned about myself very much. The anger in Jasper's eyes lessened significantly, and he sighed. Nodding.

"I'm pretty sturdy." I reminded him with a smile, "I'm fine." That only helped him even more, and it helped me too.

Alice stood up, and hugged onto his side.

"It'll be fine." She told him, and I looked to her. I could tell immediately that I wasn't the only one fibbing.

"Leandra." Carlisle's voice had me look back at him in the doorway. Around the front of the house, I heard Bella's truck start, and I figured Edward was driving her home.

"I'm fi-"

"Humor me." He insisted, and I sighed, standing up. It was easier to breathe now, so even if I was a little hurt, it wasn't that bad. I passed him into the house, "Upstairs. Into my office." I followed his instruction, slowly climbing the stairs.

He followed close behind me, and I looked up at him as he stepped around me.

"Where did he hit you?" He asked, and I frowned. I didn't like that word.

"He didn't hit me." I said, "He pushed me." He gave me a look, and I sighed. I gestured to my upper chest, "Here."

He nodded, letting me know to let him look. I sighed, unbuttoning the top portion of my dress. I peeked down the front, and winced. Carlisle was going to freak out. The bruising over the direct center of my chest wasn't too dark, but it was obvious against my pale skin. It wasn't too big of a bruise, but not small either. Already beginning to spread outward in a deep purple tint. Darker toward the middle.

I let him look, and he sighed heavily. Immediately looking closer at the already darkening bruise. Just as I figured, it concerned him.

"Does it hurt to breathe?" He asked, and I shook my head.

"No." I answered, "It was a little hard to a little bit ago, but now I'm fine."

"Take a deep breath and hold it." He told me, and I did as he said. As deep as I could, and despite how the bruise ached, it didn't really hurt. After only a few seconds, he told me to let it out. I laughed a little as I had to take another breath immediately after that.

"I think you're alright." He nodded.

"Told you." I mumbled, already buttoning up my top. He sighed, standing straighter. I was quiet for a moment. He seemed distracted. Deeply concerned. I never saw him this distracted over something so small. It made me even more nervous, watching him. As if something had changed.

I hated that feeling.

"I think I'm gonna go to bed." I mumbled, watching as he looked back down at me.

"I think that's a good idea." He replied quietly, "Good night, Leandra."

"Good night." I responded as I turned. Leaving the room and heading downstairs. I paused beside Esme, watching her pick up the pieces of glass.

"Do you need any help?" I asked, and she smiled up at me, watching as I kneeled beside her. A rather large piece of jagged glass had taken my attention, and I focused on the way the light glinted on it. Brighter along the edge. Maybe I was more tired than I thought.

"No, honey." She said, "I've got it." She gently caught my wrist as I went to reach for it anyway. I smiled a little at her, "You have to be careful, honey. These are sharp." Right. The last thing we needed was another open wound. I curled my hand back, so she knew it was okay to release me.

I nodded a little, "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure." She stood up and helped me up along with her, "How are you feeling?"

"Tired." I sighed, "I'm gonna go to bed." She nodded.

"Alright, darling. Sleep well." I gave her a smile, appreciating how normal she was acting. She did a better job at hiding the tension she felt than the entire rest of the family. She smoothed my hair from my forehead and hugged me with her free hand. Her other hand held glass.

I quickly changed into my pajamas, crawling heavily into bed. Indescribably grateful to be rid of that stupid dress.

They could discuss all they needed to discuss now that I was out of the way. While I laid there, I thought about what all had happened. The same nervousness I felt earlier swirled in my stomach, and though I was more than glad that I wasn't afraid anymore, I couldn't get passed the nervousness.

What did this mean?

What happened wasn't Jasper's fault. Not in the least. He didn't mean to. It just happens sometimes. I resisted the urge to think, to try to hunt down the vision. It was hard to resist looking, as I knew the longer I waited the more would slip away, but I couldn't. I'd been doing so well, and I had to keep from undoing that. I could really do without a breakdown undoing all the convincing I'd done for Jasper, and I wasn't particularly eager to cry again either.

As hesitant as I was to fall asleep, I needed to. I'd gone too long without sleeping, and I was pretty sure I was an hour of sleeplessness away from hallucinating. I fell asleep, refusing to let myself try to look forward. As much as I wanted to know what happened, I knew this happened before. It had to have happened before, because I knew to be nervous.

I woke to being lifted out of bed, the blanket over me falling away as I was gathered up, which would have woken me up in a panic if I'd wanted to wake up. Instead, I just whimpered, choosing to just frown instead. I recognized Esme's arms as the ones holding me, so I didn't mind after a second or two.

"Leave some clothes out for her." Esme spoke as I struggled to make some kind of sense of what was going on, "I haven't gotten to pack her a few things yet. Just leave a few outfits, pajamas and stuff there on the shelf in the closet. I'll get to it soon." I wanted to stay asleep, my eyes refusing to open. I was _so_ tired. What had I been dreaming about?

"You got it." Emmett replied. It was hard waking up, as I was still so tired, but I opened my eyes as she carried me from the room. Despite going to bed rather early the night before, I felt like I hadn't slept at all.

"What's going on?" I mumbled, frowning. Outside the house, in the early morning light, were three large moving vans. Which would have been confusing enough, but out in the living room, there was nothing left. No furniture, nothing there where it had been just the night before, and Esme paused beside the stairs as Alice and Rosalie carried a heavy oak desk down them, toward the door with ease.

"We're moving, honey." She told me, setting me on my feet, "Just sit tight here, okay?"

"Moving?" I asked sleepily, watching as she headed back up the hall toward my room. I stood there beside the stairs, watching as Rose and Alice came back inside. Alice giving me a comforting smile as she passed me on her way back up the stairs. My eyes had yet to adjust, so it was still very confusing to watch them.

Boxes and boxes of books and things came from up the stairs, and I only got more confused. Carlisle and Rose met in the empty living room. Rose took the stack of five large boxes from him easily.

"Emmett and I will take this stuff, and come back." Rose offered, and Carlisle handed her two keys with a nod. From the hall, my bedroom furniture came next.

"Is there room for this in there?" Emmett asked, holding both my mattress and box-spring over his head.

"Hey." I protested grumpily. I wasn't done sleeping yet, I thought to myself bitterly. I wanted him to put that back.

"Yeah." Rose nodded, leading the way outside, "On top." Jasper followed him with the rest of the pieces to my bed. I was so lost. I followed Carlisle up the stairs.

"Where are we going?" I asked, trailing behind him back into his now empty office.

"We've got a place in Ithaca we'll be going to." He informed me distractedly, looking over a stack of papers on top of a stack of boxes.

"Where's that?" I asked, attempting to lift a lone box. I grunted, unable to lift it much higher than an inch or so off the floor.

"New York." He told me, lifting the box easily.

"New York?" My tone reflected my shock, "I'm going too?" I asked, and for the strangest reason, that surprised me.

"Yes, Leandra." He replied, "We want to be gone by noon." I watched after him as he left the room, frowning in confusion. I decided then to just stay out of the way until they were less busy. Majority of everything upstairs was already out of the house, and it left my head spinning to see it this empty.

They must have had a storage place somewhere, because about half an hour later, Rose and Emmett returned with the two large trucks. Both empty and ready to be filled with the last minute stuff, and the third truck was taken next.

For the next half hour or so, I wandered around. Following one person or another, trying to get everything straight in my head. My room was fully emptied, boxes of my stuff carted out. I ran after one particular box, chasing Alice toward the front door.

"Wait." I muttered and she turned. I plucked the stuffed turtle out of the box, and nodded to her. I wanted that with me if everything else was being packed away.

"Your clothes are sitting in your room." Alice informed me, "Go change out of those pajamas and give them to Esme." I nodded, turning to do as she said. I took my kidnapped turtle with me, just so nobody tried to steal it again.

By the time I came out of my extremely empty room, shoes on and all, everything was done and everyone stood around near the stairs now. Probably waiting on me to get done.

"Esme and I will leave first." Carlisle told the rest of the family, "I want to get Leandra there quickly, just so she has a chance to get settled. If we have few detours, we should get there by tomorrow night, or Thursday morning. We've already called ahead, and had the house readied, so it'll be ready by the time we get there."

I bit my lip as I sat on the bottom step of the stairs, the turtle smashed in my arms like the couch pillows had so often been when I felt anxious. I was still lost, but I hadn't had a chance to ask yet.

"Emmett, Rose." Carlisle continued, "If you will, please unload the last two trucks, and return them."

"Not a problem." Emmett smiled, letting him know he didn't mind. He looked to me and kneeled onto my level, "See you there, shorty." I nodded, unable to return his smile as I gave a glance around the very empty living room. I couldn't help the worry in my expression. I wasn't sure if I wanted to go. I'd just learned everything about this house, and now we were moving?

"Don't worry so much." He told me.

"I can't help it." I muttered, "I still don't get it."

"You'll be okay." He smiled again, "Don't worry."

"Easier said than done." I replied and he laughed.

After a brief hug from him, I watched as he and Rose left the house, stepping outside.

Esme hugged both Alice and Jasper tightly before we left the house, too. Would they be coming too? Alice hugged me as well, but Jasper hardly looked at me. He seemed the more unhappy of the group.

Esme got me and the turtle into the car and waited outside, as if she were convinced I'd make a break for it. Three huge black bags were placed into the trunk, and I knew those were probably filled with clothes and stuff I'd need right away when we got there.

With me still stuck in the back, we got going. Nervously, I looked back, back to the house and Alice standing on the porch talking to both Emmett and Rose. Despite Alice and Emmett's upbeat attitude inside, they seemed unhappy now. At least from what I could see of them. Maybe my eyes were playing tricks. That wouldn't be impossible.

Did this have anything to do with what happened the night before? Did what happened the night before have anything to do with why suddenly I was taken out of bed, and everything had already been packed up?

Or, more concerning, did this have anything to do with Jack? Had Alice seen something? Had something come up? Were they moving me to keep me safe? With a whimper, my hand rubbed my stomach. Trying to ease the sudden rush of fear there. Now I regretted going to bed early, because I completely missed any sort of discussion that went on the night before.

"You're not dropping me off at the dog pound, are you?" I asked nervously, and Esme looked back at me.

"Of course not." She murmured, surprised, "No, honey." I believed her, so I didn't ask again. Sitting straight in my seat, looking out the window.

"Does this mean I don't have to work on those math problems today?" I asked, quieter now. She laughed a little, so I knew she wasn't as tense.

We were just leaving everything behind. Maybe I was crazy, but that bothered me.

I made one request as we reached town. There was one thing I had to do before we left. Since it wasn't so hard and just the right time of the morning, Carlisle allowed it. Of course, calling ahead first.

We pulled up outside Josh and Zack's house. To think I wouldn't see them for quite some time, I wanted to at least tell them I was leaving. It actually made me sad to think about. Outside, they waited.

"I'm sorry it's so early." Carlisle spoke as he stood from the car, but I'd already beaten him out. Nearly half way to the porch already.

"It's not a problem, Carlisle." Heather replied, but she was obviously confused. With a quiet sigh, I gestured that the boys follow me, leading them out into the yard.

"What's up?" Zack asked, seeing the less than thrilled look in my eyes. He gasped, "Did your turtle die?" Against my will, I laughed a little.

"Don't make me laugh." I hit his arm lightly, "I wanna be sad."

"Why?" He asked, "What's wrong?" I wondered how hard this would be for them. I wondered if it would bother them at all. They had so many other friends, so I doubted it would be as hard for them as it was for me.

"Um.." I sighed, looking down, "We're moving today." That was a shock to both of them, and I could clearly see it. I couldn't blame them. It was still a shock to me.

"Where?" Josh asked, surprised, "We'll still see you, right?"

"We're moving to New York." I said sadly, "So probably not."

"Aww." Zack slumped a little, "Who's going to be the legend at school now? And who's gonna encourage us to hurt ourselves?" I shrugged, keeping my eyes down, "Why are you moving?"

"I don't even know." I replied, "I have no idea. All I know, is we're moving to New York. Right now."

"Where in New York?" Josh asked, "Dad's got a sister living in Rochester."

"I don't know where that is," I said, "But we'll be living in Ithaca. Wherever that is."

"Maybe we can visit sometime." He said, "That's real close by. We don't usually visit her until early in the summer, but maybe dad can make it sooner."

"Maybe." I smiled a little, appreciating how open he was being about this. He wasn't mad at me for having to move like I thought he'd be.

"Well, here." Josh spoke up again, patting his pockets for a second before taking Zack's shoulder and turning him. Unzipping his backpack settled on his shoulder and digging around in it.

"You really need to clean this thing out, Zachary." Josh mimicked his mom's voice, which only made me smile again against my will. From the backpack, he produced a half crumpled blank sheet of paper, a small paperback book, and a chewed-on, broken in half pencil with no eraser.

Turning him further around, he laid the book against Zack's back and started writing on the piece of paper. Looking over his project, I noticed that Josh wrote down his house's address, and his e-mail address. I was pretty sure Carlisle already had their phone number, so that wasn't included.

"I don't know how to use e-mail." I muttered, surprised as he handed it to me.

"You'll figure it out." He smiled, "It's easy." Well, at least I had his address now, I figured, "Zack lives here too. Unfortunately. So if you have to send him something."

"I'll give you our new address when I know it." I said, laughing a little, and he smiled. I nodded with him as I looked down, feeling a sort of sadness I hadn't been anticipating. I didn't want to say goodbye to them. It bothered me. Like I was losing them.

Glancing over, I noticed Heather not looking too happy, so I knew Carlisle and Esme were probably telling her the same news.

"Say goodbye to your dad for me?" I asked, and they both nodded, "I'd do it myself, but I don't think there's that much time."

"It's okay." Zack told me, "He's still sleeping anyway. Josh will forget, but I'll remember." I attempted a smile.

"Thanks." I mumbled, "I'm gonna miss you guys."

"Trust me." Josh replied, "We'll miss you too. You're probably the coolest girl we know. All the others are.." He trailed off, wrinkling his nose, "Really, really boring." I laughed, feeling a little better. Knowing they cared whether or not I was gone was a comforting feeling, but it still left me sore to have to leave.

Nodding as he hugged me, Josh laughed along with me, but it was brief. Not at all as much laughter as I normally heard from him. I almost didn't want to let go when he stepped back, making room for Zack to hug me next.

"If I get a turtle, I'm gonna name it Leandra." He told me, and I had to laugh again.

"Thanks." I replied somewhat sarcastically, "Just don't kick it around."

"I won't." He grinned as he stepped back.

"Leandra?" I looked over as Heather started this way. Her arms crossed over her stomach, as if trying to protect herself from the chilly morning. I gave the boys a small smile before turning to meet her half way. Josh looked down as I stepped away. Zack just watched, his previous grin fading.

As I reached her, she sighed. Kneeling down like Emmett had done earlier to be more on my level. She attempted a smile, but I knew this bothered her. I felt like I knew her well enough by now to know that.

"I'm going to miss you." She started by saying that. I looked down, "You know that, right?"

"I know." I mumbled, nodding a little.

"But I know I'll be seeing you again sometime." She continued, "If I have to drive all the way over there myself, you're not getting away from me that easily." Oddly, it sounded comforting coming from her. I smiled a little, but it faded quickly so she went on, "I'll pack Josh up in the back seat, tie Zack to the hood, and we'll just.. Go." I laughed at that one, finding that visual pretty funny. Zack would love that.

She laughed a little along with me, reaching forward and taking my hand. It got silent for a moment, until she sighed again.

"You can always call." She told me, "I'm sure the boys would love to hear from you whenever you get the chance." I nodded a little, knowing she wouldn't mind hearing from me either.

"You gotta get Zack that turtle." I murmured, and she smiled with a nod of her own, "Just make sure it's a girl turtle, because he wants to name it after me."

"Understood." She laughed.

"And don't let them play hockey with it in the kitchen." I warned, my eyes on the ground, "It might get stuck under the fridge."

"Definitely not." She laughed again, "I'll make that a rule when he receives it."

"Basketball either. Or soccer. I don't think turtles are very good at sports." I tried to make that sound funny, but I started to cry instead.

"Oh, come here." She murmured. Reaching forward and hugging me, she sighed sadly. I returned it easily, not hesitating for a second.

"Take care of yourself, Leandra." She stressed that one, "I'm not going to be there to shield you from any boys."

It was so weird to consider it just as hard to leave her as it was to leave the boys. She was as much my friend as they were with how much we both had in common, and how much we talked about. Unlike the boys, and unlike Mike, she knew the real reason I was with my family. She was the only one outside the family that really understood why I was where I was.

"I will." I whimpered in response. Squeezing her tighter for a second before stepping back. She looked up at me, sadness in her own eyes.

"Okay." She sighed, "Better go now." Glancing behind her, Carlisle and Esme had been patient. Not saying a word to rush me, but I knew they were in a hurry if we were going to get there when Carlisle wanted to get there.

"Yeah." I muttered, nodding a little. Looking back, I spotted the boys standing there silently too, "Bye, guys."

"Bye, Leandra." They echoed.

"Bye, Heather." I looked to her, hugging her one last time. She returned it.

"Bye, baby." She replied gently. I didn't mind the term.

I was relieved, more than relieved that Carlisle and Esme were taking me with them instead of dropping me off somewhere, but that goodbye was one of the hardest ones I'd ever had to give. Thankfully, my real sobs waited until I was back in the back seat and we were on our way.

Neither Carlisle and Esme said anything, so I just let myself cry. I couldn't help it if I wanted to, and I knew once I got done crying about it, I'd be able to focus again, but it was still hard. Three of the only friends I let myself have, and I had to leave them behind.

"I'm gonna miss them." I admitted quietly when my sobs let up enough to.

"I'm sorry, honey." Esme offered, "I know."

It was a very long day from there. Keeping my eyes out the window for majority of the time, I chose to stay silent. My head still spinning from how fast everything happened. One minute, I was sleeping, and the next, we were uprooting and leaving everything I knew behind. That was a lot to handle for someone like me.

I started to snooze sometime after they stopped to get me something for dinner. I didn't eat much. Being far too irritable, and being slightly queasy kept me from doing so. I didn't look at how fast we were going, but it surprised me when we made it fourteen hours worth of distance before sunset. I trusted Carlisle, so I wasn't worried about the speed. I knew he was careful.

This trip, though farther of a distance than California, was taking far less time. Maybe because back then, I'd been covered head to toe in bruises that stiffened more painfully the longer I sat, and being stuffed into a backseat for this long would have been tormentingly painful?

Now, it was only mildly painful compared to what that would have been, but mind-numbingly, tear-inducingly boring.

I'd been pretty silent since Washington, not having much to say. I knew they didn't like this any more than I did, but I had yet to ask for an explanation. I think I was just waiting for them to offer one, rather than be the demanding little shit most kids in my situation would have been. Even Esme told me how well I was dealing with this.

Oh, if she could read thoughts.

I knew they didn't like this any more than I did, given the way Esme would look to Carlisle. Either she worried about completely ruining the sense of stability I'd built there at the old house, or she just wanted to go back like I did. Probably both, considering I felt both myself, and some nausea.

I understood Carlisle's rush now. He just wanted to keep me from throwing up all over the back seat of his car, due to emotions and nerves nobody in our current position could cure. That was a lie, I told myself. He knew I was only nervous and deeply uncomfortable. I was just being bitter.

By the time Carlisle finally did decide to stop later for the night, getting a hotel room, we were already through Montana, and halfway into North Dakota. He didn't need to tell me that we were making good time, because I knew that. A full day's worth of driving in less than twelve hours.

Me complaining that my butt hurt was why he stopped at all.

Unfortunately, I dreamed while sleeping. Waking myself up with a brief scrambling sort of struggle. Panic squeezing a few tears from my eyes, but Esme was already there. Sitting with me until I could breathe again.

She urged me to sleep again, since I'd only been asleep a couple of hours, but I instantly refused that suggestion. I remembered what I dreamed about this time, so it was impossible to let myself.

I was actually glad they decided not to take my suggestion to just get going again, because I fell back to sleep watching TV just a short while later. I was sure it helped to have Esme sitting next to me.

Another twelve hours, I told myself as we started off again the next morning. That's it. We'd be there that night. I despised long car rides, but apparently, I was still doing well. It might have had something to do with the way I didn't throw a fit when they tried to get me back into the back seat to leave the hotel. Why was I being like this?

To pass the time, and to keep from hitting my head against the window to gain blissful unconsciousness, I decided to finally speak. Passing a particularly interesting billboard just passed one of the exits to Chicago.

"If it's a gentleman's club, why is there pictures of women on the billboard?" I wondered out loud, "That makes no sense."

Up front, Esme looked to Carlisle with an expression I couldn't read. I wasn't trying to get an answer. It'd mainly been an observation, having seen many billboards like it this far, and it was just something worth pondering instead of the more obvious things.

"Why did we leave?" I asked, and Esme looked back to me, noting the subject change.

"Oh, honey. It's a long story." She replied sadly, "I know how strange this must be for you." It's not strange, I corrected bitterly. It's cruel.

"Was it something I did?"

"Of course not, sweetheart." She told me, "No. It's.. It's complicated."

"Was it because of what happened the other night?" I asked, quieter now. She hesitated, looking to Carlisle.

"Partially." She allowed, and I nodded. Looking back out the window briefly.

"Are Alice and Jasper going to be there with us?" I asked, slight nervousness in my tone. I'd been nervous that the entire family was splitting up. That I'd lose them like I lost Josh and Zack. I couldn't do that again. Maybe that's what been bugging me this whole time, I thought. I was scared about splitting up. I should just be happy they didn't make me make my own way there.

Stop it, I told myself. Knock it off.

"They'll be there." Esme assured me, and I breathed a sigh in relief. Closing my eyes briefly.

"What about Emmett and Rose?" I asked, "They'll be there?"

"Sure are." She answered, her tone telling me she knew I was feeling insecure and grumpy, and she was trying to get me out of my mood.

"I don't like splitting up." I mumbled, and she smiled a little.

"It's just for now, sweetheart." She said, "They'll be there within a day after we get there, so you won't be lonely for very long." That relieved me quite a bit more, but I wouldn't relax until I knew they were there with us.

"What about Bella?" I asked, and that was the one I knew she was hoping I wouldn't ask about. She was quiet, sighing sadly as she looked to Carlisle again. He'd been silent through this, and I could sense his concern now.

"She's staying behind." Carlisle told me, and I looked to him. Frowning.

"Wouldn't her dad let her go?" I asked, and he shook his head slightly.

"It's more complicated than that, Leandra." He replied gently, and I sensed that now was time to change the subject to avoid becoming that little shit I worried about earlier. I pursed my lips, thinking about what else I could bring up.

"I hate long trips." I finally muttered, "They make me think too much." And with me having spent the entire day just a few days before thinking too much, that was a problem, "And my butt really hurts." I frowned, thumping my head lightly against the window. I was particularly irritable that day, and now that I knew someone would listen to my complaining, I was prepared to let it fly. Without even realizing it. Esme smiled a little once more.

"I think you're going to like it there." She offered a hint of positivity in an attempt to counter-act my negativity, but I was more stubborn than that. My luck, I'd annoy the hell out of them until they left me on the side of the road somewhere.

Stop it, I told myself again.

"I liked it _there_." I replied quietly.

"I know, honey." She murmured, "I know."

"I don't like new places." I mumbled, "I was just getting used to it there. I didn't want to leave." I sighed, laying to the side. Sprawling across the seat. It hurt too much to sit upright.

"Sit up, honey." Esme requested, "It's not safe."

"My butt hurts." I told her again, "A lot." And laying like this eased it.

So we stopped, and that's when both Esme and I discovered that I'd either bruised, or broken my tail bone when I landed on the floor the other night as a result from Jasper's shove. Most likely bruised, she said, since I could still sit on it at all. Carlisle wasn't pleased to hear about that, and said something about how I should have mentioned it before.

I was given some Tylenol for the pain and allowed to lay to the side like I wanted to. After some time, it did help.

I watched up and out the window again at the puffy clouds, half wishing this was just a joke. I wanted to go back. New places always made me nervous, as I never knew what to expect, and I had the strongest sense of nervousness, like I wasn't looking forward to something, but I had no idea what it was.

Maybe it was something having to do with what happened before, in the vision? I wasn't sure. I didn't think that was it. Maybe I wouldn't like the house? To keep myself from going crazy, I decided that was it.

Until we finally did get there, and I figured out that that wasn't it. Esme and I stood out front while Carlisle pulled the bags from the trunk of the car.

It was dusk, but the entire house was already lit. Waiting for our arrival.

I fell in love instantly with this house, just from the sheer beauty of it. I smiled tiredly up at it, loving the way it looked. It was pretty large, just like the house back home was, but the style was completely different.

Encasing the small grassy front yard was a four foot wall made up entirely of large, reddish sandy colored stones.

The front of the house had the same large reddish sandy colored stones making up the outer walls and the balconies the two upper floors had. The windows weren't anything like the other house. These were tall, long and rounded at the top. Cut into the face of the house like the house had been build around them.

Doors above us held the same shape as the windows, and were a dark brown color. The slanted roof held red ceramic tiles that only added to the beauty of the entire house, and it covered the top floor's balcony. Thin, what looked like cast iron metal encased the balconies in a beautiful woven pattern.

Those had to be the bedrooms up there, I thought to myself.

The front door was a larger rounded shape, and the soft, gold glow of the lights along the matching walkway and the lights along the large, wrap-around porch gave it a very warm feeling. Just by looking at it. The porch held up the upper floor's balconies with thick, intricately carved dark wooden pillars.

Grass on either side of the sand-stone walkway, with a wide open view of the sky above us. No tree in sight to block the stars just beginning to show.

"Wow." I gasped, amazed.

I'd known they had homes all over, but this one, I knew, would remain my favorite. Aside from the one at home, of course. That one would always be my very favorite. Esme smiled down at me, hugging me into her side.

I was even more stunned as she led me inside the house. Carlisle following closely. The interior was perhaps even more beautiful than outside.

It kept the wide open floor plan of the other house, but instead of light, bright colors, it had warm browns and tans. From the flawless hardwood, and tan colored rug beneath our feet, to the beige color of the ceiling and selected walls.

The ceiling was vaulted, with dark wooden beams running through it. The tall ceiling gave much more room for the towering, generously stocked bookshelf against the far wall between the living area and the kitchen. Directly to our left was a curved staircase, leading to the upper floors.

"I think this house is bigger." I murmured, looking up and around.

"Oh, maybe a little." Esme agreed quietly, "Do you like it?"

"I love it." I murmured without hesitation, "There's so much room."

"The others will be along soon." She assured me.

"This place is amazing." I felt like I couldn't breathe, "I've never seen it before." She moved us forward so Carlisle could place the bags on the floor inside, and I felt distracted as I looked around, "I think before, you left me behind." That surprised her, given the way she looked to Carlisle and they both stopped moving.

"This happened before?" She asked, and I glanced to her. I had to give it some thought, just to realize I'd felt the same way about James. I hadn't given it much thought before, honestly. Either that, or now that I was here, I could really focus on it.

"Yeah." I replied quietly, "It happened before. You left before."

"Why would we leave you behind?" She asked, and I just shrugged, taking a few more steps inside. I was tired, but I wanted to keep looking around.

"I don't remember yet." I admitted, "I've been trying not to look." I glanced to Carlisle, "Maybe that's what was bugging me so much on the way here. This is so new to me."

"I can't imagine why we wouldn't take you with us." Carlisle frowned.

I hesitated a second, "Does us moving here have something to do with Jack, too?"

"No." He replied instantly, "Alice still hasn't seen anything regarding him."

"Are you sure?" I asked, and his frown deepened. I almost never asked him that, already knowing he was sure. Now, I wasn't so sure he was sure.

"Of course." He replied, "Why?"

"I don't know." I sighed, "I just can't stop thinking about it. More than usual."

"Well, no matter what, you're safe here." Esme replied after a moment, "Don't worry." I took a breath and nodded, "Now, come on. I'll show you your room." I nodded again as she lifted one of the bags easily. That one was probably mine. They all looked the same to me, and it had to have three months worth of my clothes in there.

I followed her to the stairs, stepping up the wide steps alongside her. This house had many more bedrooms in it than the other one, which was surprising to me. There looked to be four on the second floor, and probably just as many on the third.

Maybe while they lived here, everyone got their own room if they wanted it?

Strategically placed paintings and framed pictures hung on the wall. Down at the end of this hallway, was another set of stairs. Shorter, and not as extravagant, but the same colored wood.

Up on the third floor, the second to last door on the left, she opened. The light inside the room was already on, a tall standing lamp in the corner set the room in the same golden glow as outside.

The bed looked impossibly huge for someone as small as me. At least a king sized bed, but to me, it looked even bigger than that. The bed frame, foot-board and head-board were mostly shiny gold metal, but decorated with painted, vividly red roses. The contrast of the colors stunned me for a moment.

A large, short dresser sat against the wall beside us with an ornate mirror, matching the rose pattern of the bed attached to it. Another tall dresser sat to our left, between the closet, and another door that surprised me once I realized what it was. An attached bathroom. I wouldn't have to cross the hall to take a shower.

I wouldn't know what to do with all of this room.

"Everything should be here if you want to get settled." She told me, "Would you like me to stay?"

"It's okay." I told her, "I know you've got stuff to do." And I'd really prefer to get to know my bedroom here a bit on my own. Of course, I didn't tell her that part. I didn't want to hurt her feelings. She smiled, stroked my hair.

"Let me know if you need anything, honey." She said, "We're right downstairs." I smiled up at her and nodded, watching as she turned and left the room. Leaving the bag by the door. Before dealing with the clothes and things inside the bag, I slowly wandered around the room. Though the hardwood floor creaked a little, it was quiet. A painting across the room from the bed, over the tall dresser caught my eye.

It was a rather large painting of a vase filled with roses. It matched the roses painted on the bed frame and the outer edge of the mirror, and I focused on the thorns on the stems of the roses for a moment. I liked it.

If we were ever to move back home, I'd want this painting to come back with us.

I ran my hand over the cold metal of the foot-board on the bed, despite how warm the room was. I rounded the bed, headed for the other side of the room. To the large set of double doors, that led out to the top floor's balcony. Thick, sheer curtains covered the glass of the door, but still added to the door's beauty.

Unlocking it, I quietly pulled open the door. Surprised by the breeze that instantly blew into the room. It was a warm breeze, but I somehow sensed a chill in it that unnerved me slightly. Fall was coming quickly.

This place also smelled differently than at home. It didn't have the wet, earthy smell home had. It didn't hold that constant scent of rain home had.

Another painful pang of homesickness touched me, but I quickly shook that off. I knew Carlisle and Esme were right down stairs, and that comforted me. If I was with them, I'd handle anything. The others were coming soon, Esme had also said. They'd be here once they had everything they needed.

I still didn't fully understand what prompted this sudden move, but I wasn't minding it so far. I had never known houses this beautiful existed. It was like walking around inside a painting in itself, and I almost couldn't believe that we'd be living here now.

I stepped out onto the balcony, the stone under my shoes making no noise. No sound. I only went far enough to touch the cast iron railing, wrapping my hands around it and looking around. The view from up this high was beautiful.

A few miles away, I could clearly see the lights of the city. Through fields, more houses, and a few standing trees further off, they were bright. It got dark quickly, and the stars were really bright, despite having the entire outside of the house brightly lit.

Taking a very deep breath, I smiled a little, though I still felt like crying. I told myself I would like it here. I had to. There was no other choice.

I yawned, and decided I had plenty of time to look around later. After I'd had time to rest from the cross-country move. Stepping back inside, closing the doors behind me.

I got to work unpacking my clothes, finding places to put them for now. Taking my time hanging up the folded shirts in the giant closet, and putting the jeans away. I found many, many sets of pajamas, and chose my favorite ones.

My bathroom, I discovered, had a separate standing shower, and a tub the size of a swimming pool. I shook my head with a small smile. They didn't do anything half-way.

It never stopped surprising me when I was brave enough to turn the hot water knob in the shower. I couldn't help it. I adjusted the temperature, and didn't hesitate in stepping in. It felt too good to waste time. I was tired from the incredibly long drive.

I barely managed to turn off the light before climbing under the heavy blanket on the bed. Despite how dark it was in the room, I could still find light coming into the room from outside, and the well-lit yard. Just enough to keep me from being afraid, but not enough to keep me awake.

**A/N: Yay! I figured out and fixed what was bugging me about this chapter in the original version. There were many places that needed to be fixed, actually.  
THANK YOU! To that AMAZING reviewer of chapter two! :D THANK YOU! :D**  
**Chapter Four is where things get complicated, so I might take my time with that one, but we'll see what comes of it. :)**  
**Until Four, my friends!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

I woke pretty rested in the morning, taking my time waking up. I thought the bed would be too overwhelming, but I loved it. There was so much room to stretch out. To roll, and to move without worrying too much about falling off the side.

Rolling over onto my back with a yawn, I kicked the blanket off of me.

Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, the brightness of the room made me blink a few times. I wasn't used to this much sunlight, so the bright yellow replacing the dull gray I was used to was a very big change. Having been so tired when I went to bed the night before ensured I slept through the night, no matter where I was.

Then I remembered.

Smiling a little, I hopped out of bed, and scurried downstairs. I really hoped they had made it like Esme said they would.

Spotting what I was looking for as I jumped off the bottom step, I suddenly felt a whole lot better. Taking an almost flying leap over the back of the chair, I flopped half sideways across Emmett's lap before I could stop and wonder if he'd mind. He didn't seem to mind as he laughed, tickling me a little.

"Hi." He grinned, and I returned it.

"Hi."

"I take it you missed me?" He asked and I rolled my eyes a little.

"How could I not?" I asked, "Nobody pisses me off like you do."

"Aw, I'm flattered." He told me and I laughed a little. Climbing off of him, I sighed as I sat upright on the armrest of the chair next to him. I still hated lap-sitting. Unless it was Esme, I wouldn't linger there. Glancing around, I knew he and Rose must have been here awhile, but I didn't see her.

"I'm getting too old for that stuff." He chose not to comment on that, "Why didn't you wake me up when you got here?"

"You need your beauty sleep." He replied, "And I didn't want to scare you again."

"I've been getting better about that."

"You seem unusually cheerful this morning." He pointed out, "What gives?"

"I didn't dream." I replied, "I think for once, I was too tired."

"Well, that's a good thing at least." He smiled, "See? And you were so worried about coming here."

"Yeah, yeah." I muttered, but couldn't help smiling with him, "But that drive was insane, and I kind of miss home already." His smile softened, "I missed it right when we left."

"You'll get used to it here." He told me, "It's new, but this is home too."

"For you." I countered, "I've never been here before." He allowed that with a small shrug.

"What are you going to do today, shorty?" He asked, seeming genuinely interested. I appreciated the subject change.

"I have no idea." I frowned, and he smiled, "Probably exactly what I did back at home. Sit around and bug you."

"There's a park just a little bit that way." He suggested, "Go make friends, or play or something." I wrinkled my nose.

"I had friends." I pouted, leaning back and he smirked.

"There's that famous moodiness Esme was talking about." He chuckled, "I'd think you'd have been happy to get out of that place. Brand new place. New start, and all that."

"You know me." I mumbled, "I didn't change just because we live somewhere else now."

"I'd drag you out there myself, but we've gotta be more careful here, shorty." He sighed, lounging back as well, "It's sunny."

"I see that." I nodded, laughing a little, "But the house isn't anywhere near people, right?"

"Well, no, but it's still better to be careful." He replied.

"Maybe I'll just.. I don't know." I shrugged, "Circle the house. Catch bugs or something."

"Your luck, one would bite you." He pointed out and I rolled my eyes.

"Probably." I had to agree with him.

Sighing, I stretched out a little. Pursing my lips as I thought. When we left, I'd been doomed to stay friend-less. I already missed the boys, and I had no idea when I'd see them again.

"You okay?" He asked, and I nodded.

"Just thinking." I answered, and he knew by my tone that that's all it was. For right then, anyway.

Suddenly, I remembered. I had a way to talk to them. Well, Josh anyway. The little folded piece of paper sitting on my dresser upstairs.

"Hey," I sat upright, "How do you use e-mail?"

He smirked, "You don't know how?" I shook my head, "Where have you been the last sixteen years?"

"Not born for half of it." I replied, "Can you show me?"

"Sure." He finally chuckled, standing. Standing up as well, I followed him further into the house. Passed the stairs, there was a small hallway that held two more rooms, a separate bathroom, a closet, and a small office. I spotted the computer immediately.

"Stay." I said to him, gaining a replying chuckle as I turned and ran from the room. I had to go get the piece of paper. I stumbled a little, tripping on the stairs on my haste up them, but I managed to catch myself, "Ouch."

I ignored the throbbing pain in my toes, continuing on.

It really wasn't that hard to figure out, just like Josh said. It didn't take me that long to set everything up. I sent Josh a message, saying I was alive and I made Emmett give me the address to send him.

There were rules, though, to using the computer. Emmett wasn't joking around when he told me this, so I knew to pay attention. If nobody was around to watch what I did, I shouldn't stray. Just e-mail, and that's it. Stay away from chat rooms and things like them, and if I ever found myself in one, never give out my name or where I live.

Blah, blah. All of that was common sense.

"I can handle it." I nodded, concentrating as I poked the 'send' button, and he smirked.

"If you say so." He said, "But if I find out you didn't follow these rules, I'll kick your butt from here back to Washington."

"Yeah, yeah."

"I mean it." He stressed, "There are a lot of weirdos out there."

"I know that." I reminded him, swinging a little in the swivel chair, "If anybody knows that, it's me. I'm not gonna be doing anything else but e-mailing Josh. Maybe Zack too."

"Alright." He said, nodding. I laughed a little, standing up. I was done with it for now, and Josh wouldn't get that for at least another few hours, so I could find something else to do.

Emmett and I wasted the morning and most of the afternoon by watching a movie marathon on TV, and I forgot all about wandering around outside. I didn't want to leave the house anyway. Rose and Esme unpacked boxes of things brought from the old house while we lazed around. Pictures and things Emmett and Rose had brought with them.

I was actually glad to see that they'd thought to bring a lot of stuff from my room. One thing in particular, and that was one of the few pictures of the boys I had. It sat in one of the new picture frames I'd gotten for my birthday. The picture itself had been taken at the beginning of the summer, and Heather had taken it for us. I was even smiling a little.

"Should you really be letting her watch this stuff, Emmett?" Esme frowned, finally catching on to exactly what we were watching. A smaller box in her hands as she paused on her way toward the kitchen.

"I hide her eyes when it gets bad." Emmett assured her, "Or she does it herself." She shook her head, continuing on with what she was doing. I didn't care what we watched. Lounging around, it was almost normal, which I really needed.

"So I take it you've forgiven me?" Emmett asked at one point, and I looked over at him.

"I still haven't figured that out yet." I sniffed.

"Definitely a female." He chuckled, shaking his head.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked.

"You can stay mad forever, and not give a clue as to why."

"You know why." I grumbled.

"I wasn't replacing you, shorty." He replied, laughing a little. I just looked to the TV again. I wasn't expecting him to actually know that much. So he tried a different approach, "And besides. I thought getting you out of that whole school thing made up for it."

"Okay," I muttered after a second of thought, "I have to give you that one."

"Did you really whack her on purpose?" He asked.

"Yeah." I sighed, "And I'm not sorry."

"That's not very nice."

"I don't care." I replied honestly, "It's her own stupid fault. She got what she deserved."

"Shorty." He muttered, and I looked over.

"What?" I asked, "It's true. I'd hit her again if I had to."

"Well, then I guess it's a good thing you're here, and she's way over there, isn't it?"

"Probably." I agreed, shrugging a little. That was another thing. I hadn't thought of that yet, and it really got me down to think about it now, "I won't see him again, either." My dad. Without living so close to where he lived, I probably would never see him again.

"Oh, boy." Emmett muttered. He obviously caught on to what I meant, "Aw, hell. I'm sorry, shorty." Seeing how upset I suddenly was, he reached over and scooted me over, hugging me into his side. It had meant a lot to me to get him back when I let myself rely on it. Now that that was gone, I felt the familiar pangs of disappointment.

That was pretty much it for the conversation, and I didn't mind that.

As for Lily, I didn't fully understand what the big deal was. I mean, I knew it was wrong to hit someone on purpose, but she deserved it. As did Mr. Mitchell, and Andrew. They all deserved it.

It wasn't even dark yet before Alice and Jasper showed up, and I immediately felt even better. Rolling up off the couch and clamoring over Emmett to get to the door.

It was hard the night before when we'd gotten there and nobody else was with us. Now that almost everybody was here, I felt like I could start adjusting. I missed home, but not as much as I would have if they weren't here with me. There was someone missing, however.

"Where's Carlisle?" I asked from where I stood hugging Alice, "I haven't seen him all day."

"He's at work, honey." Esme answered, coming in to greet Jasper and Alice as well, and I frowned.

"Already?" I asked, unable to hide my disappointed tone, "So soon? I mean, we just got here yesterday."

"They had an immediate opening." She smiled a little, "People tend to make room for him." That certainly explained Carlisle's rush to get here.

"Oh." I mumbled, "Well, that's good, I guess."

"He'll be home soon." Esme assured me, smiling at my disappointment. I let Alice and Jasper into the house, looking up at Jasper. He still had yet to look directly at me, and I frowned. Was it something I did?

I didn't want to ask, and risk pissing him off even more. He didn't seem pissed off, though. More like unhappy. Distracted, or deep in thought. I'd been that way before, so I left it alone.

"What about Edward?" I asked, curious, "When is he coming?" A heavy pause made the end of that question quiet a bit as I glanced around.

"He's not." Alice told me after a moment of awkward silence, and I frowned, "He might visit now and then, but.." She trailed off, shaking her head.

I didn't know what to say to that. Learning that Edward wasn't going to show up bothered me. I'd been a little hopeful I could talk to him a little more, because as it was, he was the most unfamiliar to me.

I couldn't help thinking that Edward's decision not to follow the family was because I was here. Thinking back to just a few days before, and how I'd reacted to him learning everything about me, I was leaning more toward that explanation.

"Come help me unpack?" Alice offered, probably trying to cheer me up, and I glanced up at Jasper.

"Um." I mumbled, hesitating and waiting for Jasper to protest. When he never did, I just sighed, "Sure." I was still pretty out of it. I wasn't feeling all that well, and I was sure it showed.

"Trying to steal her again?" Emmett asked from his place on the couch, "I'm not done picking on her."

"I only looked away twice." I mumbled in my defense, looking to him.

I did follow her, however. Curious which room was theirs. I was always sort of separated from the family, my room being on the first floor back home. Now that I wasn't, I liked it. She smiled a little at me as she showed me that she and Jasper had the room beside mine.

So that was one positive note. Theirs looked almost exactly like mine. About the same size, but with a much different color scheme, and it seemed more homey. Where mine was mostly made up of brown, gold and red, theirs was more of a beige and light blue.

"How are you liking it here so far?" Alice asked, setting her bag down.

"My bed is huge." I replied. That was meant to sound like a good thing, but I could see how she could take it differently. She laughed a little.

"Does that bother you?" She asked, looking to me as I leaned against one of the posts on their four-poster bed.

"No." I mumbled, shrugging a little, "It's nice. I just miss home, I guess."

"I know." She replied quietly, "This is something that happens a lot, though. You'll get used to it. After awhile, where you are stops mattering as much as who you're with." I already noticed that, so I believed her easily. Nodding a little.

"I've never lived anywhere but Washington." I admitted and she smiled, "So it wasn't just that I hated Ken that scared me so much about having to live in California. I mean, yeah, he was a big part of it, but not the whole part." Her expression softened.

"You shouldn't be thinking about him."

"I know." I murmured, "I can't help it, though."

"Has that happened a lot today?" She asked, and I knew what she meant. She was referencing my inability to control where my mind wandered. Something that usually happened a lot in the days leading up to one of my bad days.

"Yeah." I admitted with a sigh, "Pretty much every day for the last week. Even after that night, which is weird. Normally I have a little bit of a break. I didn't tell Emmett about it today, though. He's been so nice to me."

"What about Esme?" She asked, and I shook my head, "Leandra, you shouldn't hide it."

"It's just hard." I mumbled, "I'm still stuck, I think."

"I'm sure the move didn't help."

"Probably not." I sighed, shaking my head.

She also sighed and stood upright, "And Esme says you say this happened before?"

"I don't know very many details." I replied, "Not yet."

"But you're sure it has?"

"I'm sure." I replied, "That's about the only thing I do know yet, but I think it's different this time. Well, I know it's different this time, but this is different." I gestured to now.

"She mentioned that too."

"Because I don't remember this place." I added, "I've never seen it before."

"Maybe last time we went somewhere else?" She suggested, and I shook my head. She frowned, "Maybe you'd been hurt too in what happened that night last time?"

I hadn't considered that before, but thinking about it, I shook my head again. It was dim, vague, but I remembered that much. My head ached, trying to force myself through the small details, but it was coming.

"I just can't imagine why we wouldn't take you with us."

"I'll work on that." I murmured, "Sometimes it takes its time. Especially if there's a lot of stuff that happens at once."

She nodded, looking down briefly. Setting the stack of jeans over the foot of the bed with another sigh, "Now. About the direction your thoughts have been going." I looked down, "What's got you so fixated lately? You've been having such a hard time."

I honestly didn't want to talk about this, but thankfully, I got my escape. I looked up as Jasper appeared in the doorway.

"Um.. I'll be downstairs." I forced a smile to Alice, looking to Jasper again as I left the room. Listening to her sigh sadly behind me. I half expected Jasper to tell me it was alright if I stayed, but he never said a word, so I kept going. He could probably tell I was grateful to get away from that particular line of questioning.

I flopped back down beside Emmett with a deep sigh that turned itself into a yawn.

"Tough day?" He asked, and I stayed quiet. Knowing he probably heard what I told Alice before. I just kept my eyes on the TV, and he didn't press.

By the time Carlisle did come home, I was eagerly looking forward to his arrival. I'd missed him. However, he was distracted. Borderline stressed, and heavily so. Like Jasper had been, and I wondered what they had to be so distracted about, even if they weren't about the same things.

Carlisle came in, hardly noticing me standing there, and instinct told me to stay out of the way. I could tell something was wrong. but even though I was curious, I wouldn't press. Everything was so different now. Before, I'd never felt like I was in the way. Not when it came to Carlisle, but that was the distinct feeling I got now.

Carlisle told us he needed to talk to Esme, so Emmett took me outside. That usually meant it was about me, so naturally, I was nervous. What the hell had I done now?

Since the sun had fallen enough, Emmett walked with me. We left the front yard, and slowly stepped along the deserted street. The street was paved, but ours was the only house for a good while. Then again, I'd only seen the front of the house so far, I reminded myself.

Though I was dressed, I hadn't grabbed my shoes before leaving the house, but the street was warm from the sun on it all day. Where my feet would probably have gotten cold back home, with the pavement nearly constantly wet, this was warm and dry. I didn't mind _this_ change. I watched my feet on the smooth pavement, stepping over small pebbles.

"Sorry you got stuck with me while they talked about me." I muttered, looking up at Emmett beside me.

"I don't mind." Emmett told me with a grin, "I'll babysit you."

"If you sit on me, I'll stab you." I mumbled, and he looked to me.

"That's not very nice." His attempt to hide his laughter failed. Even I had to laugh a little at how serious I was when I said that. Even if I really didn't feel like laughing.

"And I'm not a baby." I reminded him.

"More of a baby than I am." He replied, "Itty-bitty baby sister, and since I'm older, I get to sit on you. That's how it works."

"Is it?" I laughed a little, "You'll smash me."

"Nah. I wouldn't do that to you. Especially since I heard you broke your butt." Emmett said conversationally, and I looked up at him.

"I didn't break my butt." I muttered, "I bruised it."

"So much for padding, huh?"

"I'm not fat." I sighed. He shook his head, laughing a little, "Does everybody know about that?"

"No." He smiled, finding it amusing, "I overheard Esme telling Rosalie about it." I rolled my eyes a little.

"In other words, everybody knows about it except for Alice and Jasper."

"Pretty much."

I shrugged, "It hardly hurts anymore."

"Just when you sit on it." He shrugged also, and I didn't bother denying that.

It fell quiet as we walked. Several minutes of that went by, and the entire time, I knew he was watching me. I kept my gaze down, and I could feel the nearly permanent frown on my face. The seemingly never-ending crease in my brow.

Trying to make sense of everything, unavoidably, I thought too much. Too far one direction and when I got that far, it was hard to come back on my own. Getting lost in the tangled mess that was my head, sometimes I forgot to leave a trail of crumbs.

"Where'd you go, shorty?" He asked after several minutes, knowing my moods. I sighed, shaking my head a little.

"A long time ago." I mumbled in reply. I knew it was useless to try to hide it anymore. Emmett was far more observant than that.

"Wanna talk about it?" I slowly shook my head. He sighed, "Shorty, you know you can talk to us. You don't always have to be on your own." But I did.

"I know." I mumbled anyway.

"We're all here for you." He told me, and I was quiet, "I mean, it's really not like we have anything better to do."

"So I'm a hobby?"

"Um." I couldn't help smiling a little at his slight discomfort, "That's not what I meant. Unless you think it's a good thing, then that's totally what I meant."

"I don't even know." I admitted, laughing a little, until that faded too.

"So tell me." He urged after a moment longer of silence, "What were you thinking about?"

"It's not that easy." I muttered, and he seemed confused, so I decided to explain, "It's not that easy, just giving one answer. When I think, it's never just about one thing, and when I remember things, it's never just one thing. It's a whole lot of things all at once. Some things I might be able to say, but other things I don't want to say. That's what makes it hard to tell, or explain to someone."

"Your head sounds like a busy place." That actually seemed to concern him.

"Always." I sighed, "It never stops. Like, I could be in the middle of talking to someone about this thing, and I'll think about a whole other thing the second I have a chance to."

"I've noticed that." He pointed out.

"When I stay quiet for a little too long before I say something?" I asked, and he nodded, "It's because I get mixed up, and it takes me a second to remember what we were talking about. The worst part is that I can't control it. I just want my head to slow down, you know?"

"No wonder you're always so tired."

"That's not why I'm so tired." I shook my head a little, keeping my gaze down on my feet, "I'm so tired because it's hard to sleep. It's hard to sleep, because I remember a lot more when I'm sleeping. Not more things, but more about things."

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"Well.." I paused, thinking, "When I'm awake, memories are just memories. I know they're memories. When I'm asleep.. Those memories real again, and I don't know I'm dreaming. It's like.. When I'm awake, it's like staring at a still picture. It's flat, and even though I can see it, it's just a picture. When I'm asleep, it's like I'm there."

"I see." He was quieter now.

"I remember everything when I'm asleep." I went on just as quietly, "When I'm awake, I don't smell the things I smelled then, or notice the little things I noticed then. I don't feel everything when I'm awake, but I feel and notice and smell everything I felt and noticed and smelled back then. It's real to me, and that's why I'm always so tired. I don't like going back there."

He was quiet, so I went on.

"And then," I muttered, "There's all the stuff I dream about that I don't remember when I wake up. Like what happened with you all. I know there's something there that I should be able to remember, but I don't remember it. Those are the ones that make me nervous, because I don't know if they're good things or bad things, and I don't really know how to feel about them." I paused for a breath, "Then there's the things that I do remember. I don't remember the things that happened the last time, in the vision or whatever it is, on my own. My dreams help me with that sometimes."

I closed my eyes, unable to help it as I stopped walking.

"When my dreams are good, they're not so bad. When they're bad, they're _really_ bad, and it _bugs_ me so bad that I can't choose where my thoughts go." I had to at least express that, "Because even though I'm here, I get scared and remember seeing things that I saw way back then that I don't want to ever see again. And it _hurts_. So bad, sometimes I can barely breathe."

We stood in silence once more, this time neither of us expecting me to say something else.

"Aw, shorty.." He obviously didn't know what to say. I didn't say anything either. Eventually, he slowly reached out and turned me to face him. I could only glance up at him, noting his deep concern. I only managed one sob before he lifted me up, and hugged me.

Standing there in the middle of the road, he hugged me tight and I returned it.

Before the last two weeks, I'd been doing so well, but now I was beginning to learn that the pain never goes away. It never stops hurting, but I just learn how to deal with it. I'd been doing so well before, but it was like I lost my ability to hide it so well that night.

"Why can't it be over?" I couldn't help asking, "It _still_ hurts. It doesn't stop."

I felt him turn around, and I knew he was carrying me back toward home. With me stuck to the front of him like a monkey. Trembling with silent sobs I knew he could hear.

"What happened?" Carlisle was there the second we were through the door, "Where did you go?"

"We just went for a walk." Emmett answered, letting me down onto the couch. I scooted back onto it, nervous at his tone as I struggled to calm down.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" His tone told me he was barely holding onto his temper. I looked up, watching as Carlisle followed him outside. Closing the front door behind him.

One by one, they were all getting an idea. Edward, the one other that had an idea about what went through my mind, wasn't coming. Jasper could hardly look at me, no doubt blaming me for my emotions, and Emmett never followed Carlisle back inside. That almost crushed me, but I managed to keep it back.

"Where'd he go?" I asked quietly when I saw him alone, and Carlisle looked to me.

"He'll be home later." Was all he told me, "Don't worry."

Too late.

"I don't know why I told him." I sniffled, shaking my head, "I don't know. I keep chasing people away."

"No, Leandra." Carlisle told me, "It wasn't you. He went into town for an errand." I hardly believed him, but I wasn't going to insist. The last thing I wanted was to piss him off too.

I sat there on the couch, sniffling as I slowly calmed down. Carlisle stood there with me, watching me. I wanted to say something, but I was so worried about bothering him. Especially when he still seemed so distracted.

"I just need to keep my stupid mouth shut." I muttered after a few minutes.

"Leandra, no." Carlisle replied, "That's the opposite of what we want."

"Then how come every time I do, someone gets mad?" I asked, "I get why Edward got mad, but I didn't even say anything that bad to Emmett."

"He's not mad." Why was Carlisle lying to me? I looked up at him, and I could see he knew he was lying.

Each minute that passed, I got even more tense. What was Emmett doing? If he wasn't mad, then why would he run off like that?

He was only gone half an hour, but it felt like hours. When he finally returned, I was so close to tears, I couldn't help but cry when I saw him close the door behind him. Carlisle looked on from where he stood talking with Esme.

I was so worried I'd run him off too.

He gave me an apologetic smile, crossing the room to sit beside me. From inside his coat, he pulled something out and handed it to me. I had to smile at what it was.

"I'm sorry. About leaving like that, but I had to take a walk." He said, "To clear my head, and when I saw this, I had to get it for you." I ran my fingers over the soft fur of the teddy bear in my hands. It was a violet purple color, and not especially large, but big enough to hug. I appreciated this gesture more than he knew.

"Thank you." I murmured, smiling a little. He smiled, nodding. He was quiet for a moment, until I spoke again, "I thought I'd chased you away too."

"Too?" He asked, frowning.

"Well, there's Edward." I reasoned, "He's not coming. Then there's Jasper. He hasn't said anything to me since that night. He can't even look at me. I chase people away, but I swear. I won't anymore." Then I thought about it, "As much as I can help, anyway. I don't have the nicest thoughts or easiest emotions, but I can try harder. It's just been hard lately." He studied me for a minute.

"Jasper." He called, and I looked up at him.

"Don't worry about it." I murmured, shaking my head, "It's fine."

"Jasper." He called again, this time in a funnier tone, "Don't make me have to go up there. I don't wanna see that." I frowned, confused for a moment. I yelped quietly as Jasper was suddenly there.

"I hope this is important." Jasper told him, straightening his shirt.

"Is she right?" Emmett asked, "Have you been avoiding her?" Jasper looked down, sighing as his gaze found the floor, "Why?"

"I think we both could do without a repeat of the other night." Jasper finally answered matter-of-factly, "I think it's best if I keep my distance. It was reckless of me to get so comfortable."

"Until she starts feeling like this." Emmett told him incredulously, "You nuts?"

"Emmett, it's fine." I mumbled, and again, he ignored me.

"You can't just 'distance' yourself like that." Emmett added.

"You can't just walk away, either." Jasper countered.

"You didn't hear what she said."

"You don't feel what she feels." Jasper replied, "I wouldn't live with myself if I ever hurt her because I got too comfortable again. The truth is, humans bleed, and the truth is, that can happen again."

"What's her emotions-"

"She was afraid." He answered, and I looked down, "I felt her fear, and I didn't like it."

"Is a broken heart any better?" Emmett muttered. Jasper sighed, shaking his head before Emmett looked to me and spoke up again, "Wait. You think Edward isn't here because of you?" I hesitated, "Why?" I wasn't sure I liked having this turned around on me.

"Because of the things he saw?" Jasper asked me. I didn't know how to answer. If I answered honestly, they'd want to know what those things were. If I lied, I doubted they'd believe me anyway.

"Leandra, honey." Esme spoke up, and I looked back at her near the kitchen, "Come here, please." Gratefully, I stood up. They could sort out whatever they needed to sort out, and I didn't have to sit there through it.

Sighing as I followed both her into the kitchen, Carlisle following me. From in the kitchen, I could still see into the living room, so it wasn't any more private, but I could tell she just wanted to move me away from them. Either so Emmett and Jasper could talk, or she could talk to me without many distractions. I wasn't sure which.

It soon became apparent which one it was, though, by the way she looked to me.

I found a seat at the round kitchen table, sitting down and looking up at her. I waited, watching her glance to Carlisle. This wasn't an easy subject, I could tell immediately. It made me nervous, and I tensed where I sat. Sitting straighter in my seat.

"I wanted to ask you something." She began, and I waited. This seemed so hard for her, and I was starting to worry. Until she spoke again, "Honey, how set against attending school are you?" That was both relieving, and more worrisome.

"Very." I mumbled immediately. Probably even more now.

"Are you at least willing to try?"

"I have tried." I shook my head, standing back up. Nervousness making me do so, "I can't do it."

"I was hoping you wouldn't say that." She sighed, and I frowned, "Honey, as a requirement for them allowing a transfer, you-"

"Transfer?" I asked, confused.

"Carlisle called in a favor." She explained, "Normally, since you're only a foster, they wouldn't have allowed you to come with us. Not that easily, anyway." She paused, "But because it was Carlisle, they hesitantly agreed to transfer your case here. It's a bit more complicated than that, and a whole lot of paperwork, but they agreed to do it. Under a few conditions. The one condition we're talking about now, is that you must attend school." My frown deepened, "You begin on Monday."

My heart dropped, and I couldn't breathe for a second. I'd have to go through all that again? It wasn't happening. I shook my head, instantly denying it. Monday? It was already Friday evening! That meant I only had two days.

"I _can't_!"

"You've attended school before, sweetheart." She assured me, "You can-"

"That was before." I reasoned almost desperately, "I've tried being around people, and I don't like what I do."

"We've done all we can to get them to change their mind, sweetie, but it's-"

"Try again." I whimpered, shaking my head. I was scared, and for very good reason. I didn't know these kids. Anything could happen, and I'd be screwed. How could they do this to me?

"It's a wonderful school, honey." She told me, trying to comfort me, "And it's only temporary." I gave a sob of dread, turning and pacing, "I know how much this worries you, but I know you can do this. You'll do fine."

Again with those lines! Didn't they learn anything from what happened just a few weeks ago?

"No I won't." I sobbed, "I can't do it."

It was useless to argue, and I could see that throwing a fit wouldn't get me out of it. I couldn't help it, though. I'd never really thrown a fit before school tried to start for me before, so this was somewhat new territory for me. I tried to hide it, but I just couldn't pretend to go along with this.

Being away from my family for any length of time in a place like that seemed so impossible, a sense of despair settled into my stomach, and I sat back down. Lightly thumping my head against the table. Not very hard, though, and it hardly made a noise.

"I can't." I argued anyway, "Don't you remember? Just because-"

"You'll be fine." She assured me, "You don't have-"

"Just because I'm in a different place now, doesn't mean that's changed." I finished what I wanted to say, "Do I have to kill someone for you to get it?"

"Honey, if it were up to me, I'd keep you here." She stressed, "But it's not. They want you in public school, and that's just how it is."

"They can go fuck themselves." I stood up again, "I'm not going."

"Leandra." Carlisle's tone was a correction, and I looked to him.

"Don't make me go." I was back to begging, "Please don't make me go."

"I'm sorry." He told me, "There's no choice."

"No." I was back to arguing, "No, no, no. I can't. I won't."

"I'm sorry." Was all he said in response.

After enough arguing, though, I got mad. The only way I could describe my arguing now was mean. Both Emmett and Jasper looked on from the wide kitchen doorway, surprised at my raised voice.

I was angry.

Accusing Carlisle and Esme of only wanting to get rid of me, and they were just getting rid of me slowly. Esme attempted to ease my temper, by reassuring me.

"It's not fair." I snapped, "Why should I have to do whatever they want? I thought _you_ were supposed to be the parents, not them!"

"They set guidelines." Esme explained, "Based on what they think is best for you, and we have to follow them."

"Or what?" I challenged.

"Or they find parents for you who will follow them." She replied, "I'm sorry, sweetie, but I don't want to see that happen, so you will go."

"I won't."

"You will." She corrected.

"I'd be better off running away." I growled, "Then you couldn't make me do whatever you wanted."

Carlisle put a stop to that right in its tracks.

"Leandra." He said firmly, "That's enough of that." I wanted to keep going, but I couldn't now. Sitting back down with a sob, I kept my eyes down as I watched the table, "I know how hard this is on you, believe me, but that is no excuse to take that tone. Stop it."

Instead of arguing further, I stood up forcefully and left the room. Ignoring his attempts to call me back into the room. Yanking my arm from Emmett's hand as he tried to stop me.

Carlisle hadn't had to correct me like that before, so maybe that was what added to my upset state. Everything was changing. I cried myself to sleep that night, not at all as comfortable as I was the night before.

I wasn't feeling any better when I woke up the next morning.

It was stupid to protest this way, but I didn't know how else to really let them know how unhappy I was. Esme came upstairs to tell me breakfast was ready, poking her head in.

"I'm not hungry." I mumbled, looking away. Which was a lie. I understood that they had no choice but to make me go, but I didn't agree with it. I wouldn't go easily, because I knew what would happen. I knew I wouldn't do well at all there, and they'd see that.

"Come on out, honey." She urged, "I know how upset you are, but you should eat something."

"Come on, shorty." She wasn't alone in the hallway, "You're tougher than this."

"Bite me, Emmett." I muttered and he snorted.

"Leandra, you can't stay in here all day." Jasper's voice out in the hall as well surprised me.

"Oh, you're talking to me now?" I snapped, immediately kicking myself for not biting that one back. Instead of apologizing, I looked toward the windows across the room. Esme sighed quietly. I rested my chin on my drawn-up knees. I was quickly beginning to figure out that I hated fighting with them.

I just wanted to hide.

I could hear whispered arguing out in the hallway, but I couldn't hear what was said. They could argue with themselves all they wanted. I'd told them my position on this, and I wasn't budging, but I had a feeling Carlisle wouldn't be taking no for an answer this time. I couldn't refuse this time.

I ignored them out in the hall, until the door came open, and Emmett strode into the room. He lifted me up from my bed, and slung me over his shoulder. Which I really didn't want right then. So I bit him. The back of his shirt in my teeth, I hadn't managed to bite his shoulder.

He just sighed and continued on.

"Is she biting you?" Alice asked, surprised as he passed her in the hallway.

"Either she's a little moody this morning, or she's hungrier than she thinks." He answered simply, and I glared at Emmett's back as he continued on. I knew the group had followed us, but I didn't want to look at them. Being carried this way was highly uncomfortable.

He made it to the kitchen and stood there for a minute, "I'm putting you down now. You might want to let go or you're going to hurt yourself." True to his word, he flipped me back upright right as I unclenched my teeth. Sitting me in the seat I'd abandoned at the table the night before.

"Talk to me, shorty." I glanced to the group standing in the doorway, "What's bugging you?"

"I'm not going." I said firmly, "You'll have to carry me there, but I'm not staying. You leave me there, I'll run. I swear I will."

"Shorty-"

"No." I stood back up, "I won't go. You're the ones always telling me that you'd never make me do anything I don't want to do."

"Within reason." He reminded me, poking my nose and only gaining a glare, "It's not Carlisle's fault. It's not Esme's fault. It's not even the state's fault. It's a reasonable request, shorty. Now, my suggestion? Grit your teeth, and deal with it, because acting like this isn't going to change anything."

I stood there for a second, my anger fading slightly, until it flared again.

"I can't do it." I finally said, looking back up at him.

"Why not?" He asked, and I sighed.

"I don't know." I replied sharply, "I didn't ask to be this fucked up. I just am."

"You're not fucked up." Emmett corrected me, "You just-"

"Stop _lying_ to me!" I surprised myself by hitting him. Not hard enough to hurt myself, but a slap against his arm, "Stop it!"

"Breathe, shorty." He told me, "Give it a minute."

"Fuck you." I pushed passed him.

"You can fight it all you want, but it's not going to change by hiding from it." He told me as I walked away.

"I'm not going!" I shouted, spinning to look at him, "I'm tired of having to prove what kind of person I am over and over and over! For someone as smart as you guys are, you sure don't get it!" He didn't bother replying to that. Giving me a pointed look, telling me silently to knock it off.

"Sometimes you have to deal with new people, but it's for your own good." He told me, "You can't live the rest of your life hiding from humanity."

"What the fuck happened to 'who cares'?" I demanded.

"That was before." He replied, "Calm down, shorty." He did have a point. I hadn't acted out like this yet. Not toward them. Well, if they could change, I could change. He crossed his arms, "You'll go."

"Watch me." I replied sharply, continuing on. I stepped passed him the other direction now. Stepping outside through the back door. Closing the door firmly behind me.

I stood outside in the bright sunlight. In my thin pajamas, it warmed my skin in a way I wasn't used to. I slowly stepped off the back porch, onto the grass. Back here, the view was prettier. The backyard overlooked a large park quite a ways away. That must have been the park that Emmett mentioned the day before.

There was a steep, grassy hill between our backyard, and that park, but I liked the look of it. The same wall that surrounded the front yard was up back here, and it interested me to know I was just tall enough to lean on the wall and watch the park.

Taking a deep breath, I began to let myself calm down. Enough to think, anyway. I wouldn't go along with this easily, and I knew they knew that. It was going to be a disaster, just like before.

What was really bothering me about this?

It was more than just not wanting to go to school. Kids always hated school. That was just how it went. It was even more than being worried about what I'd do. It was everything.

Back home, I had the option of staying home all the time. I never had to leave. Back home, I had times when I would have time with just Carlisle, or whoever else I wanted. At the start of the summer, Carlisle had been taking lots of time to work with me, and I got used to that. Back home, I didn't have to worry about facing other people, and I was used to that. The entire summer had come and gone, and fall had started. I had time to get used to that, but lately, everything had changed.

Edward was gone, but that wasn't such a big change.

Carlisle worked all day now, and I hadn't had a chance to get used to that yet. Jasper was distancing himself from me, and though I understood that, it bugged me. Because he was the one to insist I talk to Carlisle in the first place.

Now, Emmett was pushy, which he never used to be.

This was a brand new place, and as much as I needed my family, that support wasn't there anymore. It felt too much like I was starting all over. Ripped away from where I was just starting to adjust, and tossed into the air again. I had yet to land.

They were still there, but starting on Monday, I'd be gone for several hours during the day. I wouldn't have the constant safety I had before, and that wasn't an option for me. I wouldn't have the option to run to any given family member, and I'd be stuck around other kids. Maybe that's what bothered me most before. When I refused to go to school before. I'd been trying not to lose what I'd worked for.

That was a whole separate issue, but equally as distressing.

Esme was right. I had gone to school, but that was before I changed so much. If I couldn't handle leaving the car at the school there, even with Carlisle there, what would happen in a crowded classroom? Without anybody?

Just the thought of that tried to close my throat, and I coughed a sob. I didn't want to face that.

Carlisle had told me that what I did wasn't my fault, but I felt that it was. I couldn't change it, but I couldn't be that way either. It was a very scary thing for me, being cornered. Stuck between the way I should be, and the way I was. Stuck between the way I couldn't be the way I was, and unable to change. Just the thought of it was enough to nearly smash me under the pressure.

But that was nothing new. I'd accepted that.

Now, there was yet an even larger problem. What bothered me the most, was that I would have to leave the house, and the safety of my family, for several hours each day.

Without even realizing it, I'd let myself depend on them completely. Without even realizing it, by spending every waking moment with them, I let myself get used to not having to worry. Without even realizing it, it had become unacceptable to ever leave their side without the option of coming right back, because being with them meant I was safe.

Sighing, I pushed myself up, and climbed onto the wall. Sitting down on the warm stone, a slow breeze pulled my hair from my face as I continued to think about my predicament.

I'd be out there, with other people, unprotected. Something I hadn't been since I last saw Jack. Until now, I'd been protected. Sheltered. Shielded. Now, they were telling me I had to step out from behind my protected shelter, and somehow still function? I couldn't do it.

Yet, what was I doing?

Snapping, yelling. Hitting. Shouting, cursing, and biting? Pushing them away? I didn't want that. I had closed my eyes. I was turning away, resisting their efforts now. How completely just moving to a new place could turn me around. Four days ago, I'd been fine. I'd been doing so well, and now, because absolutely everything had changed, I'd changed along with it.

They had to have expected this to happen. They had to have seen this coming. I'd always been told that healing from what I'd been through wasn't going to be easy, and nobody ever promised it would be, but I guess I was just surprised I was taking steps back again. Backing away, refusing.

Maybe I should just give up. Stop trying. Stop lying to myself, and just let myself be swallowed by the person I didn't want to become. It was useless.

Glancing behind me, nobody was watching me that I could see, so I hopped down. On the other side of the short wall now, and started down the grassy hill, toward the park.

It was steeper than it looked, as I had to keep stopping myself. The last thing I needed was to go rolling, and hit the short fence posts that bordered the park. I found it easier to brace myself without my shoes, though. My toes gripping the ground for me.

It took me a little while to get to the park from the backyard, and when I got there, I had to rest. In my pajamas, and bare feet, I sat on one of the five swings in the play area. The chains hardly made a sound as I pushed myself lightly, looking around myself at the deserted park. It being deserted was the only reason I considered coming here at all.

I didn't really get much enjoyment from swinging like other kids did. It was just something to do. I half wondered what made them like this sort of thing, but I just sighed and shrugged it off. I'd never understand them.

The entire time I sat there, I battled with myself. Fighting off panic, waiting for the moment Jack would find me here. I was paranoid, I'd be the first to admit it, but I had every reason to be worried.

Alice couldn't clearly see his decisions, and that was a problem. He could be standing right behind me before she'd know anything about it. She sometimes lied, saying she did see a little bit of something, but I knew it was a lie. Not with my mother stuck with him.

I wondered what she was going through right that minute. I hadn't seen her in five months now, and the fact that Alice couldn't see Jack's decisions told me she was still with them. I wondered if she was back to drinking yet, and they just continued on with their lives without me.

It would be more difficult for them, what with Jack avoiding being arrested, but he was smart. Careful. He knew what he was doing when it came to that sort of thing, so I knew he wasn't worried.

I wondered what their lives were like now, and I wondered if they ever thought about me.

Probably. Jack at least.

I was Jack's biggest project. The one thing he devoted his life to, and the fact that I was brave enough to get away from him had to eat at him. He'd be determined, I thought. He'd be determined to get me back, and continue what he started.

I wondered what Ken was doing now. I wondered if he's shown back up for his grandsons yet. Probably. He wasn't done corrupting them. I saw that easily. Heather had to too. She wasn't stupid, so it confused me a little why she'd allow them to be around him. Even if it did make them happy.

How easy it would be to find me while I was at school. Away from my family, and away from the protection they offered. Especially for the two of them. They could do whatever they wanted between the time I arrived at school, and when I was supposed to be home. They could take me and be long gone with me before they even noticed.

Maybe that's why I fought this so hard. Because I wasn't stupid, and I refused to underestimate those two. Jack, especially. I couldn't. I knew him too well. My family was putting too much faith in some stupid school to keep me safe.

Taking a breath, I decided to think about other things.

This really was a nice park, though.

Plenty of mature trees with leaves just beginning to change colors. The trees began to remind me of home. They weren't the same, but it was something. The closest thing I had of back home. Cool, cement trails wound around the entire area, benches every so often along it. Cool grass, and sand under my feet. Clean, with no trash laying around.

However, on the other side of this park, was more to the city. I hadn't even noticed that the entire city seemed to bend around. Where it was further away one direction, it was much closer another direction. This direction to be exact. The city was a lot closer than I thought it was. This park sitting between the hill my family's house was on and the middle of the city.

Across the park, I could make out the traffic, and smaller businesses. Small stores, and restaurants. From what I could tell, anyway. I knew there was more further away, but even just that sight was enough to make me nervous.

Don't go poking around, I told myself. I'd follow my own advice. Even if I was curious, I was cautious. More so, and I knew better than to go sniffing for trouble. Even where I sat now was too close to people for my comfort, so it didn't take me long to decide to go back.

So I walked back up the hill, which was a chore but I managed, and climbed back over the wall. It may have looked close from where I stood now, but it really wasn't that close. Having experienced it, I knew I was further away than I seemed. The sun must have been playing tricks on my eyes.

I couldn't do it.

I sat back down, this time with my back against the wall. Hiding from the sight of the park behind me, and hiding back in the yard. Drawing my legs up just a little, just enough to rest my arms on my knees.

Sniffling quietly, I hid my face as my slow tears started.

I didn't look up at Jasper's voice from the porch, "Leandra, come inside."

He waited, and I knew he waited. I stayed like that for a few more seconds, until I forced myself to uncurl long enough to stand and cross the yard.

I stepped up the three steps, passed him on my way inside. Forcefully wiping my eyes, but my tears just renewed. Desperately trying to stay tough, to keep up my act of defiance. Crying ruined that, but I couldn't help it.

I found Esme waiting as well, and I just had to. Crossing the kitchen, I hugged her. To my relief, my efforts before did nothing to push her away, because she returned my hug tightly. I needed some sort of comfort, and I knew she was the best person to go to to get it.

"I know, honey." She told me, and that was all she had to say.

"It's going to take a lot more than that to change our minds, Leandra." Jasper informed me, "Especially when I'm right here, and I can feel what you actually feel. Not what you think you feel." I sniffled, turning to look at him, "Earlier? You weren't angry, Leandra. You were scared. It just took you some time to understand that."

"I know you don't want to start school, honey." Esme told me as I stepped back, "Believe me, I understand, but I promise. You'll be just fine there." I only cried harder, shaking my head, "Yes, you will."

I might have been stubborn, but they were more so. I didn't have a choice.

My first day at this school was one of the worst of my life, and I hadn't even left the car yet. Sitting outside outside the school, looking up at the gray brick building. I couldn't see a play area from where we were, but this wasn't the normal drop off area, either. This was the parking lot.

There were a lot more people here. I could tell, because the school was bigger. Much bigger.

Just like before, I refused. I couldn't make myself climb out of the car on my own, but he wasn't giving me a chance to get stuck again. With him standing outside the passenger door, I turned, attempting to climb into the back seat, but before I could even get half way over the center console, he reached in and plucked me up easily.

"_No_!" I was pissed again, kicking back at him. He set me down, trying to get a better hold on me, and I attempted to yank my wrist from his grip, but it wasn't working this time. He'd gotten smarter about this, but it was just pissing me off even more.

He paid no mind to my free hand trying to pry his hand loose, reaching in and grabbing my backpack for me. When it didn't work, I had to think. I sat down, right there on the parking lot pavement, glaring up at him. My arm stayed in his grip, but if he wanted me to go anywhere, he'd have to carry me or drag me.

With a sigh, he chose the first option, lifting my slack weight easily. I kicked again briefly, irritated beyond belief.

"Leandra." He corrected me, which stopped the kicking, but started the crying. He wasn't letting that get to him this time, though. He spoke up again, "Now, I understand how this might confuse you, but I know this is only for your own good."

I barely heard him, too upset to do much listening.

Once again, Carlisle had to go in and speak to the principal, so I sort of had no choice but to go in with him since he held me. I wasn't going willingly, which I needed him to know, but I wouldn't fight anymore. He never gave the panic a chance to set in. By the time I started to feel it, we were inside already.

He carried me easily inside the rather large building, and up the hall a ways until we reached the office. Me glaring down through my tears at my hand the entire way. I hated it. I hated that I had to be doing this.

We were greeted by two women, who seemed nice enough, but I hated them too. I paid no attention to what they talked about. I didn't care. I stayed bitter through the ten minute discussion, letting them talk about my imprisonment.

I did manage to gather that the woman on the right was the principal of the school, and the other was the school's guidance counselor. Just like before, but this time, the counselor was a woman. Both seemed enthusiastic to meet me, but I still hated both of them.

I nearly cried again as Carlisle finally let me down on my feet. That meant he was leaving me.

By the time he did leave, however, I was still just as against it as I had been when we got there. I couldn't stand the thought of him just leaving me there. Just walking away, which was what he did.

He stayed by my side as we stepped from the office, and into the hall. Giving me a brief hug and a few words of encouragement, he sighed when I refused to let go. Clinging to him as tight as I could, but that didn't help any. I think he expected a fit when he pried my grip loose, but only got a whimper.

He just turned. Walking away.

I couldn't follow him, though, which scared me. I struggled to keep myself under control as the counselor took my hand, and stood with me for a moment.

"Do you want a few minutes to calm down?" She asked me, and I took a shaky breath. Nodding a little. She gave me a smile, leading me back into the office and pulling a box of tissues from a desk off to the side.

It took me several minutes to relax enough to stop crying, but I wasn't sure how long that would last. I could always run away right now, since nobody expected it of me, but even I knew that had been an empty threat. I was too much of a chicken to do that.

"I know it's hard at first, sweetheart." She told me, "It'll get easier." I didn't _want_ it to get easier. I didn't want to get used to it here. I didn't want to adjust. I wanted to go home.

Her words only restarted my crying briefly. How could he just walk away like that? I was fully aware that I hadn't been the easiest kid to deal with lately, but did I really deserve that? Just dropped here on my own. Abandoned like that? It didn't even bother him.

Eventually, she steered me up the hall. The opposite direction I wanted to go. Her hand holding mine kept me from following him, even if I knew he was long gone by then.

Don't bite her, I told myself. Don't bite her. Be good.

I hated it, but she adjusted her hold on my hand. Holding it just a little tighter, and that scared me. I yanked my hand away, giving her a look. Startled, she looked back down at me, laughing a little.

"I'm sorry." She said, "But here we are." She'd better thank her lucky stars. She seemed nice enough, but I wanted nothing to do with her. She pulled open the heavy wooden door, guiding me into the classroom by the shoulder now.

I kept my eyes down, hating how I could feel every pair of eyes on me, but just like Emmett said to, I grit my teeth and forced myself to deal with it. The teacher stood up, probably anticipating our arrival. He shook hands with the counselor at my side as she told him who I was. I watched his interaction with her, hating the situation even more. It just had to be a guy. Someone I was more likely to hate or punch in the face.

"It's very nice to meet you, Leandra." The teacher spoke to me, and I looked to him as he crouched down, "You can call me Mr. Kline, and I'll be the one you're stuck with every day." He was trying to be funny, but I looked back down. His smile softened, and he stood back up, "She'll be alright here. Thank you for bringing her, Julia." The counselor behind me gave my shoulder a pat, and I flinched away as she turned. Leaving the room.

I always remembered how it went with new students in any class. The teacher always made them tell the class where they were from and what their name was. I wouldn't do that, I decided, but he didn't make me do that. He did that himself. Standing with me, so I wasn't alone as he told the curious students my name. He got half a point in his favor for that one.

He led me to his desk, and gathered some papers in a folder, and two thin, papery booklets.

"This is all the stuff you'll need while you're here, and since the year just started, you're not too far behind." Mr. Kline assured me with a smile, offering the things to me. Hesitantly, I reached up and took them from him, "Your desk is right over here."

He led me up the second row of desks from the door to the third desk from the end. The only empty one anywhere around me, "You can set your bag anywhere. On the floor, hang it on the back, on the roof, who cares?"

He was trying so hard to make me like him. I sighed and sat down. Laying my backpack underneath my seat before stacking the booklets and stuff neatly in front of me, and he reached up, spreading my neat little pile a little, just enough to point to one of the booklets. That bugged me, but he had a reason to do so.

"This is just your copy of the regulations and rules. You know, dress code and what not to do." He tapped it lightly with his finger, "We don't use uniforms here, but that doesn't mean you can come to school in only a raincoat and flip-flops. You should go over this one with your parents, just so you're up to date on the rules here, too. It's probably exactly the same as your old school. Don't fight, don't set things on fire, don't break stuff. Don't maim or otherwise injure other students, either physically or emotionally. Blah, blah." Okay, I had to smile a little. I nodded, my smile fading almost immediately.

"In here," He tapped the light purple folder, "Is where all your writing assignments go and all the graded tests and whatnot I give back to you go. It's good to hold onto those. There's a few papers in there now, but that's just the rules of my classroom, and the map of the entire school. That's in case you start running around in circles, swearing you've seen that trash can before, and need to find your way back here. Boring.

"We're one of the only classes this grade level that doesn't switch between teachers for one reason or another." I nodded, "That reason mainly being we're way cooler than them, so just ignore that bell you hear every two and a half hours. Unless it's for lunch, or recess in.." He looked back to the clock, "Thirty minutes. Then it's every kid for themselves."

"I do have one rule that nobody new here is allowed to break." I looked to him, "That's you have to make at least one friend. That's all I ask." I sighed, looking down, "It doesn't have to be today, but nobody is allowed to stay lonely here."

I stayed quiet, choosing to ignore that. Opening the folder in front of me, I slowly pulled out the map of the school. Looking it over, all the major places were marked. The playground and field where recess and P.E. would be was out of this classroom, and further up the hall. Out of the back doors, and straight ahead.

The cafeteria, though, would take a few more minutes to get to. That one had a separate playground outside of it, and that's where we'd go after we ate. It was much bigger of a school than I was used to.

"You chose a great time to arrive, Leandra." He smiled, bringing my attention back to him, "We're reading."

Yay.

He lightly tapped the thicker booklet, with the colorful cover.

"This is just basic reading." He told me, opening it for me and turning to the right page, "You just read the short story here, and fill out these questions here at the end." I nodded, letting him know I would do that, "It's probably a lot like you're used to from last year, but trust me. It's a little bit harder. If you don't finish reading, don't worry. You can do that for homework, okay?" I nodded again, already looking over the three and a half pages of decent reading I had to do.

"Well, I think that's it." He said, "If you have any questions at all, or if you're not sure about something, feel free to ask me, or one of the other students. We're all pretty nice here. Except that kid." He pointed to a boy watching interestedly from the row to my right, and the boy laughed, "Watch out for him." I could tell it was a joke, shaking my head and fighting a small, amused smile as he continued, "It's great to meet you, Leandra, and I think you'll like it here." If only he knew it was impossible to like it here.

I didn't reply, keeping my eyes down. He smiled a little, turning and walking back up to the front. I took a deep shaky breath, letting it out in a sigh. Looking to the clock.

Six hours, and counting. What was I even doing here? I should have run away by now. I should have fought, begged, cried. I should never have gone along with this as easily as I did. I should be back home, where it was safe.

I was done reading and answered the questions in ten minutes, so I didn't have to do that at home. I'd be busy when I got home. Freaking out about tomorrow.

I could still feel many, many curious eyes on me, and I dreaded the rest of the day.

**A/N: Woo. Well, that went well.  
THANK YOU! To my reviewers! I'm SO glad to read you're enjoying this version so far. :D YAY!**  
**We'll be seeing a lot of additions over the next several chapters. The further ahead I get in editing everything, the more I'm convinced the original version was one big typo. Nah, okay. Maybe not that bad, but it's still not pretty.**  
**Needless to say, five won't take long to get out. :)**  
**Until Five, my beautiful readers! :D**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

Mr. Kline noticed that I had my book closed, and when I didn't move to reopen it, he came back over.

"You're supposed to be reading." He laughed a little, and I opened my book again. Turning to the page of answered questions. Pointing to them with a quiet 'tap'. He leaned down, frowning a little as he looked it over. Slowly lifting it to himself. He looked to me, "Well, that's never happened before. Okay, then. Uhm.." He set the book back down in front of me, "I guess you're fine. Just sit quietly."

I think he added that last part in as a way to lighten his surprise. I hadn't said a word since I got here, and I wasn't about to start now just to point that out to him. I nodded anyway, sighing. He walked away again, and I leaned forward, folding my arms on the top of the desk and resting my chin on them.

I wanted to go home.

"Hey." I ignored the whisper of the girl behind me, "Hey, kid. New kid." My eyes narrowed, but I ignored it even more, "Pssst. Hey. Kid. No, not you." She must have gotten someone else's attention, "What's the answer to number five?" I rolled my eyes, "Come on. I forgot your name."

After several more seconds, I felt the unmistakable sensation of being lightly poked in the back with a pencil eraser.

I spun, yanking the pencil from the girl's hand, "My name's Leandra." My voice was a heated whisper, "And do your own damn work. If you touch me again, I'll stab this pencil into your fucking eye." I threw her pencil back at her, which she caught awkwardly.

She immediately looked down with a quiet gasp. As did the other students around us. Except for another girl sitting beside me in the row to my left. She snorted, giggling hysterically under her breath. I turned back around, leaning back down into the same position I had been.

Glancing to the still laughing girl, she glanced over as well. Her jet black, raven colored hair was nearly as long as mine. The bits of hair that were too short to stay in her loose ponytail fell into her light, steel gray eyes. She seemed genuinely entertained by what I'd said, instead of scared like everybody else.

"Shut her right up, didn't you?" She whispered.

"Shut up." The girl behind me whispered at her.

I looked forward again, shaking my head a little.

Slowly, out of the corner of my eye, I watched the gray-eyed girl lean over. Softly poking my arm with her pencil eraser. I flinched, reaching over and swiping at her pencil. She just giggled again as she flinched away, managing to keep her pencil. I tried giving her a soul-withering glare, but she didn't seem phased.

"Scary." She giggled in a whisper, "I wanted to see if you'd do it." However, this time the sudden movement had taken Mr. Kline's attention.

"Settle down, you two." He called to us, "Recess isn't for another ten minutes." I sighed heavily, biting my tongue as I leaned forward again. This time, leaning to the side as well, away from the annoying, gray-eyed girl.

"Your name's Leandra?" She asked me, still in a hushed tone. I didn't answer. I was too bitter, too mad to think about anything other than the idea that she only wanted to torture me.

She left me alone, though. Now and then glancing to me, but she didn't try anything again. I couldn't help glancing at her, though. I'd never seen eyes the color she had before. They were pretty in a really creepy sort of way. Then again, I was sure she thought mine were creepy too.

This girl just seemed weird to me. Maybe weird wasn't the word, but more like interesting. I'd never admit that, though. I just rested my chin on my arms, looking forward again at the clock on the wall.

I knew when that ten minutes was nearly up, because the class was already getting ready to go. Instead of the silence through the room before, the kids around me were talking, and getting edgy. I wondered strongly if Mr. Kline would let me stay here.

The class jumped up as soon as the bell sounded, and a few were out the door before I even lifted my head. In the doorway, the gray-eyed girl accidentally tripped a boy on her way out, and he hit the floor. Both of them laughed, though, as she helped him up.

I didn't want to be a part of that mob of animals.

"Leandra, it's time to go outside." Mr. Kline told me, and I closed my eyes, "Come on. It's time for some fresh air. I promise you won't float away." Instead of protesting, and actually talking to him, I just stood up and followed him from the room. Apparently, he had to be outside too. Probably to make sure nobody died.

I followed him from the building, out to the edge of the playground. Where he stood with the other teachers was too close for my taste, so I sat down on the grass much further back, watching what looked like several other classes run around and play. Probably the fifth, fourth and third grades, as they couldn't give every grade their own recess.

I wanted to go home.

Looking around, across the field, I could see that this school was fenced in. Exactly like a prison, without the barbed-wire or guns. I could probably climb that fence if I had to. I just had no idea where I would go after that. I could always just wander and hope someone found me, but that didn't sound like too much fun. Oddly enough, less fun than staying here.

Maybe I could hop the fence, and jump out in front of a car. I'd get sent to the hospital for sure. Yeah, Carlisle would be pissed, but that seemed like a pretty effective way to get out of coming back here. I winced at the thought, though. Getting myself hit by a car didn't sound very fun, either. Was there a way to possibly fake it instead? I smirked to myself, thinking about that. I wondered if every kid here had ever considered faking getting hit by a car.

"Leandra?" Damn. I'd been spotted. Mr. Kline came over, crouching beside me, "Why don't you go play?" I suddenly found the very large advantage of answering him with a shrug, so he took another approach, "Alyssa is sitting right over there." I followed his gaze, finding the gray-eyed girl. Sitting off to the side, just like I did, but with her, was a boy. He had the same wavy black hair she had, only cut a lot shorter, so I assumed that was her brother. Mr. Kline looked to me again, "Why not go sit with her?"

She smiled at me, noticing me looking. I looked down immediately, sighing. I rested my arms on my folded knees, idly ripping at the grass with my fingers. Glancing back up just to see both of them looking at me now. Her brother beside her gave me the same look I gave them, which threw me off for a second. He seemed meaner than she did, but not by too much.

I shrugged again. Why wasn't he bugging her? Why'd he have to focus on me?

"Okay." He murmured, "Just give it some thought." I didn't even bother to shrug this time as he stood back up. Walking away.

I had to think back, though. This reminded me a lot of one memory in particular, and that was first grade. I hadn't been very interested in playing then, either, and I had to deflect the teacher's attention. Just like this, but I had to try harder back then. I was even sitting in the same position as I was back then.

Realizing that, I moved. Unfolding my legs, and stretching them out in front of me. This situation was nothing like that situation, but I couldn't help comparing them, and that bothered me. A lot. I didn't want to be here. Why was it so bad to want to stay home? I just wanted to stay.

I fought the familiar eye-stinging of renewing tears. Thankfully, it disguised itself in a yawn, so that was a plus. I didn't want to cry here. With nobody with me. That was the worst thing I could have done.

Thankfully, neither the gray-eyed girl named Alyssa or her brother bothered me. I made it through the entire half-hour of recess without having to talk to anyone. I wondered how long my luck would hold out as I sat back down at my desk inside, but I couldn't ignore the slight headache I was starting to develop.

Next, it was two hours of listening to Mr. Kline talk about stupid math, then it was lunch time. Unfortunately, I was a little hungry, so I had to somehow force myself through the stampede. I waited until the line and group at the front of the cafeteria had thinned, until bothering to move forward.

I sat with my tray at the emptiest table I could find, keeping my eyes to the table.

I jumped at the seat beside me being occupied suddenly. Looking over at Alyssa. What the hell was her problem? Why couldn't she just leave me alone? Everyone else seemed to get the message.

"Stab anybody yet?" She asked cheerfully. I just looked at her, shook my head a little and stood up. Walking away from her, and my tray of food. She laughed, "Come back. I'm leaving, I'm leaving." I stopped, looking back and watching as she stood up, "See you later."

I waited, giving her a pointed look as she hesitated. She just laughed again, shook her head and left. I sighed, returning to the table. She'd left something behind, though. On the edge of my lunch tray, she'd set a mini chocolate bar. I was surprised to find that. She'd just give that to me? I looked around for her, but couldn't see her in the sea of urchins.

For the oddest reasons, I suddenly felt bad for being mean to her. Though she hardly seemed to mind. She found it funny instead of discouraging.

I'd actually forgotten how gross school food was. How the hell had I ever gotten used to eating this crap? Having had nothing but Esme's food for so long, this watered down slop was downright abuse.

Picking up the dinner roll given with this particular lunch, I dropped it and it bounced before rolling away. I decided at that point I'd just eat something when I got home.

The chocolate bar made up for that, though. It was just one, and just small enough not to make me sick.

She didn't bother me the rest of the day, though she sat beside me in class. Now and then glancing at me, she didn't say a word. I never spoke either. Not to anyone, so it wasn't just her. Not since threatening the girl sitting behind me. I didn't have to.

Mr. Kline tried getting me to answer some questions, trying to involve me in whatever discussions the class was having, but he only got silence. A few kids in my general area tried to whisper me the answer to whatever question he asked me, but I didn't need their help.

This was how serial killers were made, I thought bitterly to myself.

The closer it got to the end of the school day, the edgier I got, and once the last bell finally did ring, I grabbed all my papers and stuff, jumping up eagerly. Knocking the girl attempting to stand up in the desk ahead of me back into her seat on my way by.

"Leandra." Mr. Kline called my attention before I could leave, "Hang back a minute." I sighed heavily, spinning. Right when I thought I was free, he suddenly remembered something he needed to tell me. Fucker.

I stepped over to his desk, waiting impatiently for him to say something

"I want to give you a homework assignment."

I found that unfair. He hadn't assigned anyone else homework. I gave him a look, and he laughed.

"It's not hard." He assured me, standing up, "I do this for all of the new students that come into my class. I want you to write me an essay, and I want it to be about your life. What your life was like before you came here. It can be as long as you want it to be. Three words, or three pages. You can even make everything up. Say.. You lived on the moon, and owned a pet dinosaur or something. It's up to you. Nobody else is going to see it but me, so don't worry about that." He paused, "I just like to get to know my students." He smiled a little.

I sighed, but nodded. That would be harder than he thought it'd be.

"Okay." He smiled, "Go ahead. I'll see you tomorrow, Leandra." With that, I turned. Jogging from the room with more energy than I'd shown the entire day. My shoes squeaked on the floor each time I had to stop behind students walking slower than me.

Just my luck, a group of girls stopped right in the doorway to talk to another group of girls.

Move! I don't think I'd ever shouted so loud inside my head as I did in that moment. They had to be able to feel my desperation, but apparently not. Either not, or they just didn't care. Steeling myself, I barreled through the group. Knocking at least three of them over.

I continued on, ignoring their squeals of surprise and probably pain from hitting the concrete steps.

To my surprise, it was Carlisle there to pick me up. I spotted his car parked in the shade across the street from the front of the school, and he stood outside of it. Underneath some trees, he didn't need to worry about the sunlight hitting him, as the deep shade stretched far beyond his car and the street. It was still risky, though, so I ran across the street as fast as I could. Not even looking to make sure I wouldn't get run over.

Though the day hadn't been as bad as I thought it'd be, I was still in tears as I hugged him once he kneeled down. I was so sure I was going to stay mad at him the entire day, but I was too relieved to see him right then to be mad at him. That bugged me, but I didn't focus on that.

"I'm proud of you." He told me immediately, "Good job, Leandra."

He probably took the fact that he hadn't needed to be called during the day as a sign that it went well. He wasn't wrong, but I was still exhausted from being cornered all day long by people I didn't know. I hated it.

I knew the other kids could see me, but I didn't care. I couldn't stop sobbing as he lifted me and held me for a moment.

He stepped around the car to the passenger side, and let me down on my feet. Opening the door for me. I scrambled in easily, nearly running into the door when it wasn't opened fast enough and throwing my bag into the back seat with fury.

Left over defensive anger.

He closed the door behind me as I sat forward in the seat, continuing to cry, too stressed to do much of anything else. I still found myself reluctant to speak, though. Having gone the entire day without saying much of anything, it was hard to break that habit now. Even when we got home.

"Good job, sweetheart." Esme told me as I hugged her in the front doorway, "How did it go?" To me, it was horrible. I hated it so much.

"Don't make me go back." I plead through my tears, "Please."

"Oh, honey." She replied, sighing, "But you did so well."

"No." I corrected, "I didn't do well at all. Just because I didn't kill anyone doesn't mean I did anything good. I just want to stay here."

"I know." She said, "But it's a slow process. You'll learn that you have nothing to worry about. You just have to give it time. You'll get used to it again."

I whined, but didn't bother arguing again. Not yet.

"So tell me about it." She prompted as we went inside, "What happened to make it so bad?" Emmett stood up and leaned against the arm of the couch, interested, and even Rosalie was listening. Alice had descended the stairs, standing on the bottom step, Jasper behind her. I sniffled, looking to them. The others didn't attend school here like they did before, I'd noticed, so they were all here unfortunately.

"Really, honey." Esme smiled, "What was so bad?"

I bit my lip a little, "I finished my work early?" I guessed, "So some stupid kid tried to get me to tell her the answers."

"That's horrible." Emmett gasped sarcastically.

"So I told her to do her own work, and threatened to stab her in the eye with her pencil." I continued, causing a simultaneous face-palm from both Alice and Emmett. Complete with quiet slapping sound, "She left me alone after that, but the girl sitting next to me didn't. She just kept bugging me."

"Was she mean to you?" Alice asked, frowning.

"No." I said, "It was like she wasn't scared of me. She thought it was funny."

"Well, that's not so bad." Emmett said, "You didn't hit her, did you?"

"No." I said again, "But I would have if she kept bugging me."

"Was anybody mean to you?" Alice asked, probably remembering the problems I had with Rachel.

"No." I mumbled, sitting down on the far end of the couch, "I think they're all scared of me."

"That'll change." Alice assured me, smiling a little, "I think you'll do fine."

"I don't like it." I murmured, resting my chin in my palm.

"Maybe something went wrong during this time in the vision?" Jasper suggested, and I looked to him.

"I was left behind in the vision." I replied, "Before. You left me like you left Bella." So I guess that could have been it.

"Do you remember why yet, honey?" Esme asked, considering I was unsure before, and I sighed. Sitting silently, I searched my jumbled thoughts. It always left me disoriented when the answer I needed, the same answer that had been confusing before, was suddenly clear again.

"You had to." I finally answered, "I wasn't living with you when you left." At their slight confusion, I went on, "I was living with my mom again. She got me back. Last time, she never left, and last time, she'd just gotten custody back by the time you had to leave. I was stuck."

"I thought you weren't supposed to look?" Emmett asked, frowning.

"I don't look." I answered, explaining, "I do my best to just leave it alone, but sometimes, it just comes through anyway. Like I suddenly just know it. I think sleeping helps that, but it hurts just as much."

"That sounds exhausting." Jasper pointed out, frowning.

"It is." I mumbled, "It's sort of like.." I paused, frowning as well as Emmett sat back down beside me, "Like having two minds. One has everything to do with before, trying all the time to remember. Or to figure out exactly what it is I'm always remembering, and the other deals with everything now. I can't stop it."

"That certainly explains why you seem to get overwhelmed easily." Jasper muttered, and I looked down. They had to know where this was going. My mood dropped.

"Making me go to school isn't helping." I murmured, "Why can't I stay here?"

I was back to the blame. Blaming and begging.

I wouldn't let this drop. I'd keep fighting them on it. Just because today went alright didn't mean I was safe. It didn't mean the other kids were safe either. I knew after enough time there, I'd snap. It's what always happened. Emmett sighed heavily, trying to hug me into his side. I ducked away from it.

"Shorty-"

"I don't know why I have to be punished for no reason." I blurted without even thinking, "What did I ever do to you?"

"This isn't a punishment, Leandra." Carlisle answered, "We're not fighting this harder than we are, because I know it'll be good for you in the long run. I know it." So they could have been fighting it harder? And they weren't?

"It's not." I argued, shaking my head, "It's not good for me. It's bad. It's really bad."

"Leandra, please don't start this again right now." Esme was only asking, pleading, but I wasn't going to give up quietly. We'd go round and round until I made them understand.

"It's not good for me." I repeated, upset once more as I looked to Carlisle, "Can't you just beat me and get it over with?" I ignored their surprise, "I don't know what I did, but whatever it was, I'm sorry."

"You've got it all wrong, shorty." Emmett seemed to be the only one able to speak, "I don't know-"

I stomped my foot, "Emmett-"

"You're comparing the two?" Rosalie spoke up, shutting me up immediately, "You're honestly going to tell me that having you attend school is comparable to being beaten?" Her tone made me rethink my own tone, and made me feel insecure at the same time. Insecure and defensive.

"To me." I mumbled, watching as she stepped forward, "I just want to stay here. I don't like-"

"We all have to do things we don't like to do." She snapped, "Get used to it, because that's going to happen your entire life." I looked down, shaking my head. She wasn't getting it.

"Now, Carlisle is making you go to school, for two reasons. One, they don't have a choice. No matter how big of a fit you throw, that's not going to change." She paused, and I stayed quiet.

"Two," She continued, "It's to teach you that the world is bigger than just us, or the few people that want to hurt you. Your mind is way too closed right now, and he's only trying to open it." I'd heard enough. I'd try again later.

I sighed and turned, walking away.

"Oh, no." She was suddenly in front of me, "You're not going anywhere until you apologize for acting like such a spoiled little brat."

"Sor-_ry_." I snapped up at her, and her eyes narrowed.

I didn't even recognize myself in that moment, but this was intentional. I wanted to speak to her like this, and I wanted to piss her off. Maybe I was wanting to get hit. If they finally snapped and hit me, I would recognize myself a little more. That was incredibly stupid of me to do, but it was the only explanation I had.

"Not to me." She corrected, deciding to let that go, "To Carlisle, and to Esme, because considering all they've done for you, I think they deserve to be treated better than the way you've treated them the last few weeks." I looked to Esme and Carlisle standing a few feet away. Across the room from us, "And you'd better mean it."

I took a breath, sighing it out. I did feel bad for talking to them the way I did, and I needed them to know it.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled, looking down briefly. Carlisle looked down as well, and Esme offered a sad smile.

"That's better." Rose snapped, and I looked back up at her, "You'll be going back to school. End of discussion." There went my apologetic emotion.

"Watch me." I snapped in reply.

"Babe." Emmett spoke up. Trying to calm her temper, probably. He should have tried to calm mine too, because the tone of her voice was one none of them had used against me before. I should have expected this, but I didn't appreciate it. Crossing my arms tightly, tensely over my stomach. It helped very slightly.

"I won't go again." I grumbled.

"You will go," She continued, and I pulled in a breath. Whatever calm I'd found was long gone, "And you'll like it. Or-"

"Fuck you." I snapped up at her, "You can just go fuck yourself, Rosalie, and you'll like that. Maybe you'll stop being such a fucking bitch."

Shoving passed her roughly, I ignored her outraged expression behind me, and climbed the stairs. I really didn't want to hear the rest of what she had to say.

"Leandra." Esme tried to correct me and call me back at the same time.

"Whoa." Emmett suddenly caught up to me on the stairs, grabbing my arm briefly and nearly yanking me to a stop. I grunted a little with the force of it, "Hold it right there. Now, just where the hell did that come from?" I just stood silently, glaring down without bothering to offer any sort of explanation. Standing there in silence for several very tense seconds, before he prompted again, "Well?"

I forcefully jerked my arm from his grip. I was so tired of being grabbed, so I continued on up the stairs.

Already forcefully reminded of one specific moment in my recent past that I could do without being reminded of. Despite how her words were different, the meaning behind them were the same. What she started to tell me really reminded me of what happened the morning after Jack and I had gotten to California.

Jack's words to me after I admitted being afraid of Ken.

_"You get up, get dressed, and you will go. You'll go with him, and you'll smile like you're at fucking Disney Land, or so help me, I will beat you until you're black and blue!"_

Too much.

I'd never admitted that part to anyone yet, so I couldn't exactly blame her for say that. It seemed so small at the time, but now, it was something huge, and nobody knew that. I could feel their eyes following me, but I didn't look back. Slamming my bedroom door behind me as hard and as roughly as I could. As much effort as I could muster went into that, and I hoped it made a statement. Leave me alone.

It did.

I was up all night thinking, having locked my door. I wasn't coming out for anything. Not to have Rose threaten me even more. Who the fuck was she to tell me that? Who the fuck was she to pretend she knew what was best, or to think she could boss me around like that? Fuck her.

Figuratively, she'd shoved me, and I could shove right back.

I fought it, I did, but I couldn't help hardening just a little bit. My emotions steeling themselves into something I didn't like. Like cement in the pit of my stomach, and I knew what that meant. It would take more than just words to soften it.

I was a pretty decent mixture of pissed off and determined. I also felt the familiar burning of bitter hate in that mix as well. I didn't hate Rosalie, or anyone else. This hate was just general. I hated the situation.

It was stupid to provoke them that way, so it really didn't make any sense to me why I'd do that, but it certainly seemed that way.

By the time dawn came, I was already dressed. Sitting downstairs, and waiting to be taken to school. I sat on the couch with my bag beside me, my arms crossed over my chest. I didn't speak to anyone, least of all Rose who attempted to apologize. Bitterly, but she attempted to nonetheless.

I nearly told her to go fuck herself again, but I was probably going to be in enough trouble today with the way I felt. So I kept it to myself.

Jasper's attention was taken as he went to walk by. Pausing his steps, looking my way.

"Leandra?" Jasper tried, his tone cautious, "Can we talk?" I made no acknowledgement. I didn't even blink. Staring with a slight glare down at the rug. I knew he felt it, what I felt, and I knew it was heavy. I didn't care.

"Leandra?" He tried again, and this time I looked up. Meeting his eyes, and his expression darkened into concern and uncertainty. I watched it happen.

Before I left with Carlisle, Jasper had to speak with him. That was fine. Nobody knew what I was going to do. Without Edward here, and with Alice being pretty much unable to look ahead for my own decisions, I was safe. I could do what I needed to do to ensure my place.

The moment I was let out of the car in front of the school, I'd already decided. If I had to go to school, if they were going to try to force me to leave their side, there was one sure way I could make myself stay. I didn't want to be here, so I wouldn't be here. Just like before. Just like before, I knew what would happen.

Puzzled, Carlisle stood there, watching after me as I just walked away from him. Not even looking at him, I stalked across the street. Straight to where a group of boys stood talking.

This poor boy didn't even see it coming. I didn't pause, or wait. I got to his side, and slammed my fist into the side of his face, watching him drop to the pavement.

On the plus side, it seemed that Emmett didn't need to teach me how to throw a punch after all. I barely felt the impact.

I straddled the boy's stomach, pinning him to the sidewalk, and punched him again. This time, blood sprayed from the front of his face. Down his nose, and from his lips. I hit him again. And again.

I used all my left over anger at Rosalie to fuel me.

By now, kids surrounded us. Both shouting in encouragement, and trying to pull me off the smaller boy. An arm circled my chest, and pulled me backwards. Breaking my hold on the boy's shirt and pulled me off my feet.

I didn't even hesitate this time. I was sick of this, and I'd had enough. I bit the teacher holding me, getting almost thrown away from her. Pouncing on another kid too close, and sitting on his back as he fell to his stomach. I knotted my hand in his hair, and this time I hit his face on the sidewalk, instead of with my fist. Blood coated the pale gray cement beneath him, staining it.

Bringing his head back, I slammed it against the sidewalk again. Hearing a definite crunching sound as his nose probably broke.

Yet again, I was pulled up. Lifted off this boy, and I recognized Carlisle as the one holding me, so I knew better than to bite him. Both his arms around my stomach, holding me off my feet. He must have gotten through the sea of students watching. I gave one struggle, but that was it. Panting in my left over anger, glaring at what I'd done.

I didn't try to fight it anymore. I wasn't sorry. I didn't feel bad. I was pissed. I felt sick. I wanted what I wanted, and nobody was listening. Maybe now, they'd listen. Maybe now they knew what I could do. That was a bad thing, I knew it was, but it felt satisfying to finally let it out. No more hiding, no more pretending I wasn't what I was.

More teachers surrounded us, lifting an unconscious and bloody boy from the pavement, and helping the other to his feet, blood flowing freely down his face and chin. The kids around us were still shouting as I looked up at Carlisle. I was determined, and I knew he saw it, given the way his expression changed. Just like Jasper's had earlier.

Thankfully, the sun was still on the other side of the building, so he was able to come grab me before I could really kill anyone. I would have too. I knew it, and Carlisle knew it.

I got suspended for a week, and I had to be taken home. According to Carlisle, I was unbelievably lucky not to be arrested.

See how safe school is, I thought bitterly. It's so amazingly safe. Nothing could ever happen. Then again, I corrected myself, they probably had never seen the likes of something like me.

I was only getting started. If it took several times of doing that before they got the message, I would continue doing it. I'd kill someone if I had to. I'd get kicked out of every school in town, because it obviously worked. I wasn't giving up without a fight, pun definitely intended, and Carlisle was probably starting to see that.

I left the car once we got home. Slamming my door roughly behind me and headed for the door. I wasn't done. Not by a long shot. Despite my bruised knuckles and aching hand, I'd hit as many kids as it took. The moment I got into the house, I headed for my room. My heart pounded too quickly, too hard in my anger, and I needed to calm it down.

"Leandra." Carlisle's call behind me made me pause, and I turned. Standing there on the stairs, "What are you doing?"

"I was going to my room." I replied sharply, "Isn't that where you were going to send me anyway?"

Stop it, I shouted to myself. Stop it!

I wasn't trying to push them away. That was the opposite of what I was trying to do, but I still had left over anger. Instead of easing, it was only growing, and I really didn't want to take it out on them. I wanted to explode in privacy.

"No." He said, "That isn't what I meant. What are you doing?" I stayed quiet, leaning against the railing, "What are you trying to say?" I looked down, shrugging a little, "Leandra, this move is difficult on all of us. None of us wanted to leave."

"It's not just about that." I mumbled, sniffling a little.

"Hey." Emmett's voice entering the room took my attention, "I thought I heard her voice. What happened?" I looked to Rosalie and Jasper behind him, both with confused expressions in their eyes, "Aw, don't tell me.."

"Then what is it about, Leandra?" Carlisle asked, ignoring their arrival, "I want to know. I'm trying so hard to understand. You've changed so much. This is more than school. This is more than being overwhelmed. I've seen you overwhelmed. What are you trying to tell me?" I hadn't changed at all. That was the entire problem. I'd always been this way. I'd just hidden it until now. Now they could see it.

"Just.." I sighed, turning, "Forget it."

"Leandra." He called, and again, I paused. Looking back down at where he stood in the living room, "Talk to me." He really didn't want to hear what I had to say if what I said the day before bothered them so much.

"What did she do?" Emmett nearly demanded. He was upset, which was understandable.

"They had it coming." I replied to him sharply, "They all did."

"What happened?"

"They didn't deserve that, Leandra." Carlisle corrected me, "That was entirely unprovoked. What, may I ask, did they do to deserve that?"

"They were there." I crossed my arms, "So they deserved it."

"Leandra, this isn't like you." He slowly stepped forward. He seemed more concerned than angry.

"You wouldn't know that." I countered, retreating a step. I was getting mad again, though. Taking a breath, "It doesn't even matter. Just send me back in a week, and see how well that goes."

"Please talk to me." He stopped me again with just his voice.

"Why?" I asked quietly, "What's the point? You won't listen anyway."

"I've worked too hard with you, and you've worked too hard with me to give up." He reminded me, "Do you remember?"

"No." I lied straight to him.

"Leandra?"

"Don't worry." I grumbled, "I'll be fine. Just fucking perfect." I took a breath, and with that breath, my voice raised again, "Not like it fucking matters!" As much as I hated it, I couldn't stop it. I couldn't help lashing out at him, because my anger wouldn't ease.

Apparently, I needed a little bit of help easing it, and the one person who could help me took the hint.

I went to turn again, but paused on my own this time. Suddenly, the anger I hid behind was taken. Almost ripped away from me until it was gone completely. Covered, and I couldn't feel it anymore. All I felt was the pain.

The pain that fueled the anger, that kept it going. That certain deep, echoing ache in my heart that I covered comfortably with that anger.

Slowly, I turned. Looking back at Jasper as he now stood closest to me. Between where Carlisle stood, and where I stood on the stairs. A pointed look in his firm expression, he nodded once.

Watching as I had to sit, no longer able to stand, his gaze only hardened. Puzzled, but not stopping to question that, I couldn't breathe yet. I hadn't had my emotions turned on me like this yet, and it oddly felt almost physical. With how forcefully it hurt, this actually was comparable to getting hit.

"That matters." He told me firmly, "Do you feel that?" I sniffled hard, taking a sniffling deep breath and holding it, trying to fight the tears until I couldn't anymore, "Do you feel that pain? That's called heartbreak, Leandra. That's pain. That's your own. That's yours, and it's far passed time for a time out." My head to the side, resting it on the wall beside me, looking at him as he watched me just crumble from what I was before to what I was now.

From deeply angry, to coughing around sobs that stole my breath. The pain was intense, and I could tell by looking up at him that he felt all the anger he hid from me, and it hurt him. Feeling it was one thing. Covering it, trying to suppress it and put a stop to it was a whole different story. I guess I got the answer to the question I was wondering about before.

"I'm tired of watching you do this to yourself, so it's about time I do something about it." He told me, his tone sharp, "You do _this_ to yourself every time you let yourself hurt someone else, and you do that to someone else every time you decide to snap. To fight them when they're only trying to help you." I sniffled roughly, trying to stop crying. Fighting it, but I couldn't. It was too heavy.

His expression was steel now as he looked at me, "Pay attention to that, Leandra, because I'm not letting you hide behind this anger anymore. I've had it with this anger. I've had it with your careless words, and I've had it with your heartless actions. All it's doing is making you feel like this. Maybe having no choice but to feel this pain will help you. I can only hope."

He turned and he walked away, leaving me to cry.

I watched after him, but he didn't stop. He continued on from the room, rounding the corner into the kitchen. Alice immediately followed him.

Carlisle sighed, slowly stepping forward. I watched him, unable to do much else. I wanted to be mad at him, but all I could do was cry pathetically.

"I know things have changed, and I'm sorry." Carlisle told me quietly, "I'm so sorry."

"It's not about that." I sobbed, shaking my head.

"Then what is it about, Leandra?" He asked, "Please. Tell me so I can fix it."

"You're not there!" I cried harder, "Nobody's there!"

"I'm here all the time, shorty." Emmett reminded me.

"Not here." I clarified, "_There_." Carlisle frowned as he slowly sat beside me.

"At school?" He asked, and I sniffled hard once more, nodding. Sobbing out my breath. He seemed to understand suddenly. His expression changed, "I see now." He put his arm around me, hugging me into his side.

"What?" Emmett asked, still confused.

"She's not trying to destroy the bond she's built." Carlisle explained, "Not only does she not feel safe there, but she's fighting to keep it. She feels that if she's separated from us, from the family for any length of time, she'll lose it. She doesn't want to let it go."

He sighed, "Keeping her home all this time has both helped her, and hurt her. We were hoping for a bond, but she's built an attachment. A very strong one, from the looks of it. Forcing her to leave, even for something as simple as school, must cause her great pain. That's why she's acting out, and that's why she compares both scenarios."

I knew that was meant for Rose. I kept my eyes closed, though. Unable to really breathe with the pain I felt. I wanted to be mad at Carlisle, not holding onto him as tightly as I could.

"Suddenly changing how we live day to day is causing the problem here, and she really does see it as a punishment." Carlisle continued, "She's confused, and she doesn't understand. Pushing her to attend school, to her, is pushing her away. She sees any enforced distance as a punishment for something she did wrong, so she acts out to stay. Fighting to keep things the way they were before. Essentially, anywhere around us is her comfort zone. When we moved, that comfort zone became much smaller. More compact.

"We seem to have forgotten that she can't adapt, she can't adjust the way we can. She was still adjusting in Forks, getting used to everything there. Suddenly, all that was taken, and I think it's left her feeling threatened. Not only in danger of losing us, but threatened by everything around her. Everything changing so drastically, so quickly makes her insecure. It scares her."

"It certainly explains a few things." Jasper admitted. It surprised me that he'd come back, much calmer now. Alice must have helped more than I thought. He spoke, "Leandra, I have to apologize."

"I'm afraid that it was my fault as well." Carlisle added, "Immediately starting work here at the hospital, instead of waiting. Giving her no time to adjust to being here." He sighed again, "Leandra, I'm sorry. I should have thought ahead."

Finally managing to open my sore and still crying eyes, I looked to the group now by the door. Jasper stood furthest back, and Rose beside him looked down. Esme finally understood also, given her expression.

"Harsh discipline won't work." Carlisle stressed to them, "As she's proven today, that'll only push her away. It'll only push her to do something reckless and rash. We're not doing that anymore." He shook his head a little, "I've been saying this from the start. So there won't be any more harsh scoldings, or forcing her emotions against her. Am I clear?"

Rose sighed heavily, "Are you kidding-"

"There is a difference between harsh, and firm." He clarified, "I'm not telling you not to correct her, but avoid words like the ones used last night. Taking her options won't help her."

"I doubt much of anything will help that little monster." Rosalie grumbled before anyone could stop her. She didn't know how right she was.

"Rosalie." Esme corrected her sharply. I closed my eyes, listening to her leave the room.

"Is he right, Leandra?" Jasper asked me, and I glanced to him. I honestly wasn't sure how to answer him.

"Then how did she handle Josh's birthday party?" Alice asked, "How did she handle being away from us all those times?"

"Maybe they were part of her comfort zone?" Esme suggested.

"I think so." Carlisle agreed, "Outside the school in Forks, the only way I was able to walk away from her at all was by Zack's arrival."

"And the party." Alice agreed as well, "Josh pulled her away from me. Maybe she was more attached to them than we thought."

"That would also explain a few things." Carlisle sighed.

"It's not like we can just have them move here." Alice muttered.

"Definitely not." Carlisle replied, and I shook my head a little. I knew that. Carlisle sighed once more, "I'll take the week off. I'm hoping that by doing so, she'll adjust a lot easier and eventually, she'll be able to return to school. I do worry, however, that because of this, it might have hurt her chances of recovering."

I looked over as Rose and Emmett came back into the room. She still seemed just as pissed at me, and I couldn't blame her. I hadn't been very nice to her lately. I hadn't been very nice to anyone lately, but her least of all.

"Leandra," Alice spoke up, "If it's being hauled all the way here that's bugging you, you have nothing to worry about. Things are just like before." I didn't believe her. Not one bit. I'd seen the differences myself. The second we got here, everyone started going back on everything they told me. They started going back on their opinions of the situation, and my entire feeling of everyone had changed.

I felt in the way and abandoned by Carlisle, and I had to choose my words carefully around Emmett. Jasper hardly even looked at me, and when he did, it was to show me how much pain I'd feel if I wasn't so mad. Edward wasn't even going to show up. Esme was correcting me, sending me away just like Emmett now. They had all changed, and maybe I was adapting. Just not in the way everyone wanted me to.

Maybe now, because they were all so different, I wanted to treat them the way I'd treat anyone else I didn't know, but I was confusing myself.

I shook my head.

"Why?" She asked, "Why do you disagree?"

It was quiet for a moment, until I pulled away from Carlisle's side. Standing and ascending the stairs as quickly as I could. Nobody stopped me this time. I didn't mind that a bit.

I didn't slam my door this time. I closed it firmly, but I didn't slam it. I crossed the room, not sure what to do. Opening the balcony doors, I felt the slow breeze, and I breathed in. I'd leave them open. Just for that reason. My skin felt too warm from emotion, and this helped.

Laying across my bed, and waiting for the pain to ease, all I could do was cry.

I was faced now with something that scared me more than I'd been scared before. Turning on my family like I have been. It was one thing to turn on everyone else. I didn't like it when I did that, but turning on my family like I had been had seemed so impossible before. I never even considered it.

If it had just been a one time thing, it wouldn't have been so bad. If I had only done it once, it wouldn't have been so scary to me. I'd been stressed, upset. I was still upset and stressed, but that was hardly an excuse.

I curled up on my side on the bed, staring out of the open doors. A slow, chilly breeze crawled into the room, clearing my head as much as it could be cleared and ruffling the curtains over the doors at the same time.

I wasn't doing as well as I had been before. I was crumbling, falling to pieces.

I was having trouble seeing who was wrong anymore, and who was right. I knew my family was right, that how I behaved wasn't how I was supposed to be behaving, but I couldn't let myself accept that. Some stubborn part of me wanted to be right. That my behavior was justified, and that I had every right to act the way I did. That I had every right to blame them, and shout at them.

I wasn't doing well at all.

My quiet sobs lasted until the afternoon, when I finally fell asleep, but when I woke up about an hour later, I wasn't feeling any better. Not at all. I refused to come out the entire day, and for the second night in a row, I stayed in my room all through the evening. Refusing to come out to eat.

Esme came into the room just as night started to fall, and she sat with me. As much as I didn't want to admit it, I appreciated it. She didn't say anything. She didn't tell me that it'd get better, or that it'd get easier to handle. She just sat with me. Now and then stroking the back of my head, comforting me.

I hated fighting with my family. I hated it. They did deserve much better. How was it possible to not even notice how alone I felt until it turned into this?

Even with talking to Emmett, I still felt alone. Like their lives had been put on hold because I came around, and now suddenly, they were living again.

It was hard sorting through all of this.

I fell asleep again a short while later, this time for much longer. With Esme's silent assurance that everything was going to be fine, I found it a lot easier to rest. Despite bringing it on myself, I couldn't help being exhausted.

I really was reluctant to talk to anyone again. More drawn in and closed off over the next several days. More likely to choose to sit alone up in my room over sitting with them again. I mean, I'd speak to them, but that was all. I wouldn't open up, and I wouldn't even mention anything was wrong.

I knew they noticed this.

"Leandra?" Alice was at my bedroom door.

"What?" I asked, turning over to look at her in the doorway.

She sighed, stepping in, "You can't keep hiding like this."

Nearly an entire week having gone by without seeing much of anyone for longer than it took to eat. Hardly saying much of anything to anyone. I didn't want to talk about what happened at the school. I didn't want to talk about anything that was bothering me.

The entire time I was up here, though, it was for a purpose. I needed to be alone for just long enough to teach myself to learn how to let go of them, but nobody was letting that happen.

I took a deep breath and sat up. Forcing myself numbly to my feet, and passed her on my way out of my room. She tried to stop me, trying to take my arm and hug me like she usually did, but I shook myself from her grip. Not even glancing at her as I continued on.

She didn't want me to hide away anymore, so I was doing what she told me. I didn't agree on a hug.

I found my old spot on the couch, Emmett looking over at me. He reached over, trying to pat my hand like he usually did, but I scooted my hand away. Hiding it under my leg. Once more, not even looking at him. I focused on the TV screen instead.

"Okay." He spoke, "What's wrong with her?"

"She's having a tough time." Alice had followed me, answering him.

"Is she sick?" He asked, inspecting me.

"Jazz thinks she's depressed."

"Depressed?" Emmett asked, "Kids can get depressed?"

"Yes." She replied as if that was obvious, "Especially ones.. Well, yes. It's possible." I knew what she was going to say. Especially kids like me. If this was what depression was, I didn't like it much. I constantly felt so bad, not really wanting anything to do with anyone. Hence, hiding away in my room. Making me leave my room wasn't going to change much.

"Then he needs to fix it." Emmett replied, "I miss shorty."

"It's not that easy." Alice sighed, sitting on the armrest next to me, "He can cover it all he wants, but what's she going to do when she can't be with him?" Meaning, tomorrow. When I had to go back to school.

"Then how do we fix her?" Emmett asked.

"First off, try not talking about her like she's not sitting right here."

I shrugged, "I don't care. I'm not really listening anyway." Which was true. I was used to them talking about me like that.

"Come on, shorty." Emmett muttered, "Wanna go outside?"

"Not really." I sighed. If I'd wanted to go outside, would I really be hiding up in my room?

"What's bugging you?" He asked me, but I just continued watching TV like I didn't hear him.

By the time I had to go back to school, I was hardly any better, but I went through with it without an outward fuss. I didn't argue. During the week, nothing had really changed, but I'd learned how to give up. It was just easier to give up. It was what they wanted from me, and if I could somehow make up for all I'd done, might as well.

The first week of October was colder than it had been, and I definitely felt the difference. My first day back at school, away from the house, made me feel just as insecure as I felt the first day I had to go. The only difference was that I wasn't around Jasper anymore. I could feel my anger again, and it hurt. It made it hard to breathe, but I never said a word.

I walked myself into the school, Carlisle following.

"Leandra." He sighed, "Hold on a minute." Stopping in the hallway, I waited as he continued, "I just want to be sure you understand."

With a nod, I moved to keep going, but he caught my hand. Turning me to face him again, but I kept my eyes down.

"What I mean," He told me, "Is I want to be sure that you understand why we can't just let you stay home. As much as we want you to be comfortable, we literally can't let you stay home from school. This is where they want you to be, and they'll make sure of it one way or another. We're trying to keep you. Isn't that what you want? To stay with us?"

I had to nod.

"For that to happen, to stay living with us, you have to go here every day." He continued, "I have no choice but to comply. So no. We're not pushing you away, or getting rid of you. It's not that we don't want you around. It's just the opposite. As uncomfortable as being here makes you, imagine not coming home to us every day, but to someone else. Some other family." I winced, shaking my head. I didn't want to imagine that, "Do you understand?"

Nobody had put it that way before, and it really made me think. I hesitated, really thinking about it this time. I started to see that he was trying so hard to make me see his side of things, and I'd been refusing to. Maybe I was just too stubborn to get that until now. I eventually nodded again.

"Okay?" He prompted once more. He probably needed more of an answer than that.

"Okay." I mumbled. If I hadn't done all the thinking I had during the week I had off, I probably wouldn't have accepted it this easily, so I was grateful for that at least. Maybe I was a little depressed, but learning how to let them go was bound to depress me.

"Will you be okay here?" He asked me, and I just nodded again. I had very little choice. He gave me a nod in return, standing back up and taking my hand.

Carlisle had to sit with the principal, and talk about what was going on, and what happened that day. That was what would decide whether or not I could stay here. Carlisle didn't have much choice but to give her an honest explanation, which turned out to be the right move.

"If we can avoid another incident like that, I'd very much appreciate it." She told me, "One boy has made a full recovery, and the other may take a bit more time, but he's expected to be alright. I'm going to schedule you for once a week visits with our guidance counselor. Maybe she can help you adjust." She smiled at me like she was doing me a giant favor.

I didn't say anything, only looking down at the carpet. She looked to Carlisle now.

"She'll be informed as to what day that is, and of course, asked to keep you informed as well. We encourage parents to take an active role in their child's education, and what goes on in their lives here." She sounded so unbelievably full of it, I couldn't breathe for a second. I thought I might actually puke.

I tuned them out now.

I walked into the classroom, placed the four page essay I'd written down onto Mr. Kline's desk much to his surprise, and sat down as he picked it up, looking it over briefly.

"Thank you, Leandra." He said, giving me a nod, "Did you have a nice break?" I kept my eyes down, shrugging a little. I felt more like crying than talking. The anger I felt again settled back into place like it'd never been gone. I didn't like it.

"Hey." Alyssa greeted me with a smile, like I hadn't just been gone for a week. I glanced to her, before I looked back down, "Thank you."

I frowned.

"For what?" I asked, speaking to her for the first time.

"Hitting my brother." She answered, "He definitely had it coming." My eyes widened a little, and at first, I didn't know what to say. Her brother must have been one of the boys I attacked before I got suspended. I honestly had paid no attention who it was.

"I'm really sorry about that." I said, "I didn't even know who I hit. I was just-"

"Don't be." She said, "He likes having two black eyes. Even if it was by a girl. He says it makes him look tougher." I couldn't help smiling a little.

"Well, I guess you're welcome, then." I said, "I'd be happy to do it again, but I might get kicked out of school for good."

"Probably." She gave a confident nod, "I'm surprised you didn't."

"You and me both." I muttered, and she laughed.

"Normally, they don't tolerate stuff like that. Even less than what you did. Someone important really must want you here." She laughed a little. I looked down. Carlisle probably called in more favors just to keep me here.

"Well, I'm glad you didn't get kicked out." She smiled when I didn't reply, "The other schools are really boring, and I wouldn't have anybody to talk to."

"Don't you have friends?" I found myself curious. She just smiled and shook her head.

"No." She said, "I don't really like people." Didn't that ring a bell? "The only one I really talk to is my stupid brother, but that's mostly because he likes to bug me. My sister goes here too, but I never see her during the day."

"Why not?" I asked, interested now.

"Well, she's in the baby class. Kindergarten." She explained, "They're sort of kept away from us older kids." She laughed, "Probably so they're not beat up everyday, or so they don't get their little feelings hurt. You know how kids can be."

"Yeah." I agreed, looking down, "They can be pretty mean." I thought to my own sister, Kindergarten age, feeling more than a little awkward.

"Up through second grade, they're pretty much on their own schedule." She shrugged with a nod, "And if anybody picks on my sister, I'll have to hurt them. Nobody wants to see that."

"Noted." I mumbled, and she found that funny.

"Not you." She said, "You're pretty tough. You know, everybody was talking about what you did last week. They still are. Second day here, and you already have the whole school afraid of you."

"Good." I muttered, looking down again.

"Just out of nowhere, beating up two kids like that?" She seemed amazed by what I'd done.

"Which one was he?" I asked, "Your brother?"

"Oh, the first one you mauled." She said, "He's already back in school, so you can probably meet him today if you wanted."

"Maybe." I doubted I'd want to. I really didn't want to see what I'd done.

"Maybe." She agreed with a smile, and she turned forward again as Mr. Kline got talking. I got the distinct impression that this girl had a lot to say, but nobody to say it to. Being the oldest in her family, she probably did a lot of listening.

We didn't speak again until right before recess. When everybody else was talking. Mr. Kline himself seemed pretty into reading the essay I'd given him, so he hardly cared that the class wasn't doing what we were supposed to be doing. I suddenly started to regret not just making everything up, but once I got started, I found it hard to quit.

"So where are you from?" Alyssa asked when I didn't start up a conversation, taking my attention. I remembered my time first getting to know Alice. This girl reminded me of her, genuinely interested in what she asked me. I knew she was actually nothing like Alice, but she was very attentive.

"Washington." I answered quietly. By the way I didn't tell her to fuck off, she must have been encouraged.

"DC?" She asked, and I shook my head.

"State." Her eyes widened a little.

"Long ways away." She said, "Bet that sucked."

"It still does." I replied honestly, and she smiled.

"It's 'cuz you're alone, silly." She laughed, "You have to make friends. It'll suck less then." I rolled my eyes a little.

"I can't make friends." I told her, and her smile faded.

"Why not?"

"I'm too mean." I answered simply.

"I don't think you're too mean." She said, "I think you just don't like anybody messing with you." I looked over, "Some people like to be alone more than other people. There's nothing wrong with that."

I didn't know what to say to that, and thankfully, I didn't have to say anything. The bell for recess called everyone outside, and she stood up with everyone else. Looking to me. I didn't want to move.

"Come on." She plead, "Come meet my brother." I groaned, but stood up, "Maybe if we're lucky, he'll cry or wet his pants."

Letting her lead the way to the door, I looked back as Mr. Kline hadn't even moved yet. With a shrug, I followed Alyssa from the room, insecurely stuffing my hands in my pockets. She slowed so she walked beside me, not seeming the least bit concerned. Grinning, she clearly looked forward to scaring her brother.

"I'm Alyssa, by the way." She officially introduced herself on our way up the hall with everyone else.

"I know." I replied.

"You can call me Aly, or just Alyssa." She went on, "I go by both. My brothers usually only call me Aly."

"You have more than one brother?" I asked, and she nodded.

"I have four."

So I'd been wrong. She wasn't the oldest. Unless they were all younger than her too, but she never mentioned any other siblings here at this school with her, other than her brother and her sister.

"Wow." I murmured, "Big family."

"No kidding." She muttered, and her smile faded slightly.

"Don't you like your brothers?" I asked quietly, and she looked to me. Her smile returning.

"Yeah." She said, "Yeah, they're.. They're brothers, you know? They're buttheads, and they like to pick on me a lot." Her smile replaced itself.

"Mine does too." I replied quietly, "Or he used to."

"Used to?" She asked.

"Long story." I sighed, letting her push open the door. It had closed before we got there, thanks to our slow pace, "Are they mean to you? Your brothers?" I had to ask. I usually made it a point with the boys not to be too nosy when it came to their home lives, but apparently, that didn't apply here. I had to know.

"Sometimes." She shrugged, "But all brothers are. There's just not a lot of room for all of us where I live, so we don't always get along." That smashed my suspicion. I nodded, understanding now. She wasn't from the richest family, and I could definitely understand why that'd embarrass someone. I knew that better than anyone.

We crossed the field together, and I could see that her brother was already waiting for her in her spot. Seeing us coming, he stood up quickly.

"Are you crazy?" He called to Alyssa, "Get away from her!"

"Shut up, Alex." She rolled her eyes, "She's nice."

"Nice, my ass." He countered, "Do you not see what she did to me?" He wasn't lying. He really did have two black eyes, but at least he could still see out of them. A deep bruise down the left side of his face from where I first hit him spread a tiny bit over his cheekbone, joining with the darker bruising of his eye. I'd really hit him hard.

"You had it coming, and you know it." Alyssa replied, crossing her arms. He paused, glancing between his sister and I. Until he finally sighed and grinned.

"Okay, you're right." He said, looking to me, "But no more hitting me, okay? That really hurt."

"I'll do my best, but no promises." I mumbled, and he grinned wider, laughing a little.

"If you want to hit someone, just tell me." He suggested, "There are plenty of other kids that you can aim for."

"Why would I do that, when you're standing right here?" I asked, and for a second, his eyes widened a bit. I couldn't help smiling a little. Seeing I was joking, he grumbled, "Oh, ha. Funny."

"Alex, this is Leandra." Alyssa smiled at me, "She's new here."

"Nice name." He told me, nodding a little. He seemed nice enough, but studying his face, I noticed something off. His right eye was darker, more swollen than the other. His left, where I'd first hit him, wasn't as black as the other, and on the outside of his right eye, was a definite mark of impact. Red and swollen, with a slight split in the skin on his upper cheek, closer to his temple.

The only problem was, I never hit him there. Not in the way it would have taken to get that. That was the mark of a backhand, but I didn't do that. I only punched him, and I knew what a backhand bruise looked like. Maybe roughhousing with his brothers? I'd seen the way Josh and Zack played around with each other.

"So since when do you make friends, Aly?" Alex asked, grinning at her beside me. He had the same color eyes as she did, maybe slightly darker.

"I have friends." She countered defiantly, "I just never let them meet you."

"How old are you?" Alex asked me, and I sighed.

"Ten." I answered, "Well, ten years, two months, and three weeks."

They both seemed to find that funny. Alex nodded, "I don't count it like that. I say I'm ninety-one years from dying." I frowned. That was an odd way to look at it.

"You're not going to live until you're a hundred, stupid." Alyssa told him, "You're probably going to do something stupid much sooner than that, and it'll get you killed." I didn't like this conversation. Most people didn't talk so casually about dying.

"Fine." Alex rolled his eyes at her, "I've been alive for nine years."

We all eventually sat down, getting tired of standing around. These kids were interesting. Their bantering back and forth reminded me a little bit of Zack and Josh, and I half wished I had a sibling around my age, but instantly went back on that.

My luck, it'd have been a sister, and I'd have had to protect her. I don't think I could have handled taking someone else's beatings along with my own. Or it would have been a boy, and Jack would have raised him to beat me up too.

This was new territory for me. The only reason I got along so well with Josh and Zack was because I remembered them from before and Jack had made me meet them. I didn't know these kids, and from what I could remember, I don't think I'd ever had a friend that was a girl before. That actually did make a difference.

As we had to go back inside, she seemed a lot happier. Chatting away about how stupid her little brother was, but I knew by the way she talked about him that she'd always stand up for him. Sister stuff.

When the school day had ended, it was a surprise to me. It really did go by faster with someone to talk with. I was beginning to see that she was as good at boring conversation as the boys were. We gathered our stuff kind of slowly so she could finish what she was saying.

"But anyway," She told me as we walked the hallway, "Like I said. It's not that bad here. I mean, I've heard stories about the other schools, and if you'd hit anyone there like you did here, three would have pounced on you and beat you into hamburger."

"Nice." I winced, sarcasm in my tone.

"So you lucked out." She added, pushing open the door, "You just gotta be careful sometimes. I totally get wanting to just sock every face in sight sometimes, but next time you want to, just let me know, and I'll hold my brother down for you. He won't do anything back." I laughed at that one.

We met up with Alex outside the front of the school at the pick-up area, and Alyssa smiled at me.

"This where we part?" She asked me, and I glanced over. Spotting Carlisle standing outside the car, safely in the shade like the last time.

"Yeah." I sighed, "Are you getting picked up?"

"Nah." She replied, "We walk. We just have to wait for my sister." I nodded a little, adjusting the strap of my backpack on my shoulder.

"Do you live far?" I couldn't help the questions. I was really curious.

"Kinda." She allowed, "But not that far. It's fun to walk." She really seemed to mean that, so I shrugged a little and nodded.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" She really seemed unsure.

"I don't plan on getting suspended again any time soon." I muttered, disappointed, "I got into a lot of trouble for that. So probably." She grinned, seeming really pleased. I was beginning to get the distinct impression that she really liked having a friend. Even if I was only at the barely-tolerating her stage. I had to admit, though. She wasn't so bad.

"I'm sorry again for hitting you." I told Alex and he grinned also, "I wasn't looking at who I aimed for."

"I know." He said, "It's fine. I already told you. Just don't do it again. It's not fair when I can't hit you back."

"Why can't you hit me back?" I asked.

""Cuz you're a girl." He replied as if that were obvious.

"So?" I frowned.

"My brother says its wrong to hit girls." He explained, "So I don't."

"You hit me all the time." Alyssa pointed out, frowning as well.

"You're my sister." He mumbled, "You don't count."

Balling her fist, she hit him in the arm, and he hit her back in the same spot. I laughed a little, watching them return a punch back and forth.

"Remind me never to get a younger sibling." I mumbled.

"It's not so bad." Alyssa replied, "You can just hit them with stuff when they get annoying."

"An older one isn't so bad either." Alex countered, "When she gets annoying, I just hold her down and fart on her."

"Gross." I winced, and she gave me a look.

"All the time." She sighed, "It really gets old after the first thousand times."

"She puked once." Alex grinned.

"I better go." I muttered, laughing a little.

"See you tomorrow." Alyssa replied, laughing as well.

With that, we parted ways. I walked away, and they waited. I crossed the street to Carlisle's car, once again parked in the shade. Crossing more carefully this time, waiting for the minivan coming along to pass before crossing.

I was silent as I climbed in, turning to put my backpack in the back seat. I didn't throw it this time. Carlisle, though I know he was curious, didn't ask about the chat I'd paused for with Alyssa and Alex. Despite probably having heard everything.

I knew immediately that the family was nervous as we got home, walking in the door. Bracing themselves for the worst, and I couldn't blame them. Not really. Not after the first attempt at this whole school thing.

They watched my every move as I stepped inside, Carlisle following me. Probably looking for any sign I'd killed or maimed somebody. I knew I had to tell them something, but I wasn't sure what.

"I'm gonna go do my homework." I finally muttered quietly. That seemed to be enough of an answer. No arguments, no fights. Nothing bad to report, or confess to.

I headed up the stairs to their sighs of relief. The truth was, I felt a little tired. So instead of pulling out my homework as I got to my room, I just laid across my bed, face down. Worn out in every sense of the phrase.

**A/N: That wasn't so bad, was it? Nah. Aside from the fact that the site was down for about 20 hours, so I couldn't get this out yesterday. :/  
And I apologize. I promise our 'first' look at Mikah is coming up. He's just taking his time. :)  
****THANK YOU! To those AMAZING reviewers! EEEEEYAY! I love reading them! :D  
****Chapter six won't be long. :D It just needs a final go-over, and it'll be ready. So just a few days at most.  
****I'm loving how much detail I've slapped into these chapters. Fixing stuff that needed fixing. I couldn't wait to do this story, honestly.  
****Until Six, my beautiful readers! :D**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

"Shorty?" Emmett prompted, and I shook myself out of my thoughts.

"Sorry." I muttered.

I didn't blame them anymore, but my mood stuck around. It felt a little like when I was mad at him for playing with Lily, but it was different. This wasn't jealousy I felt. I wasn't mad at him, or I didn't blame him. I didn't understand it, but I didn't question it, either.

"You okay?" He asked me.

"Just thinking." I replied, sighing.

"About?"

"Nothing." The standard answer.

Nearly two weeks had passed, and everyone got that answer now. I stayed closed off, choosing each word carefully, but even Emmett could see that for most of the day, I wasn't there. Each week day, I went to school, and I did my work. I avoided people, and I came home. I went through the routine without complaining anymore. Knowing full well it never did me any good.

Alyssa had become a normal part of that routine. I didn't try avoiding her anymore, but of course, I never talked about her. Carlisle would ask about her, but he'd only get silence in return. I was actually pretty concerned by the fact that I could almost ignore his questions about her now. Almost like I never heard him. I never saw her outside of school, so it was easy to act like I didn't know what he was talking about.

The weekends were worse, because I didn't have that routine. Weekends were wasted by thinking too much, and avoiding questions like this.

"Come on, shorty." He seemed really worried. After learning how badly having my emotions turned around on me could hurt, I was _really_ careful about what I said or did. Of course, I'd never mention that, because things had just started to go smoother.

I sighed deeply as I stood up, "I have a book report."

He knew not to try calling me back, because it never did any good either. He and I both knew there was no book report, and if there was one, I'd have done it the night before. That didn't stop me from burying my nose in a book, though. That seemed to be the only way I could focus my thoughts in an acceptable direction these days.

My goal lately was mostly to stay out of the way. To stay quiet, manageable. I wanted to avoid another fight like I'd given when we first got there so much, and I thought any opinion or thought shared would blow up again. It scared me. I didn't like feeling like that.

It was hard to think that I talked more to Alyssa than I did to my family. With Alyssa, I could talk. With my family, I wouldn't let myself.

Needless to say, they were worried. Without Edward here, they had no way of knowing how much worse my thoughts had gotten. What I carried around with myself day in and day out. Every single unrestrained thought led to Jack. I wasn't letting it go, no matter how hard I tried to.

Most nights consisted of staying up to read as long as I could keep my eyes open, only to wake up an hour later because reading couldn't direct my dreams like it did my thoughts. Somehow, I still managed to make it through the school day without much issue. Carlisle couldn't complain, because I was already getting pretty decent grades. I was doing pretty well school-work wise.

I'd already sat through two one-hour meetings with the counselor, and I hated every moment of it. She tried to talk to me, but I refused to say a word to her. I didn't want to be there, even if her office was quiet. A good place to go to get away from all the other kids, even if she was annoying.

At home, was a different story.

Esme couldn't even get me to speak a word about the thoughts through my head, and that was really saying something. Alice couldn't, and Jasper surely couldn't. Emmett tried, and besides Esme, he'd noticed the most change in me.

I was a little worried, though. If my nights were this bad consistently, how much worse would my bad night be? A bad night, for me, was sort of like a reset. Everything builds up until it got to the point where it couldn't build up anymore, resulting in a night like the one I'd had a month before. I was passed due for one.

I was also passed due for a memory-dream. I hadn't had one of those in quite a long while. My nightmares varied now. Between what happened before in the vision, and things I couldn't remember. Waking myself up in a panic, unable to recall a single thing about dreaming. I went through Aspirin like candy for the headaches I constantly lived with, which probably wasn't a good thing.

I didn't particularly care for the dreams of the vision I'd had.

Remembering, recalling what had happened before on a more recognizable level. When they'd left before, they'd left me behind. With my mother, of all people, but as I'd explained before, it hadn't been their fault.

However, right around now, this time in the vision, my mother had found, and brought home a boyfriend. I didn't remember much about him, but I did know he wasn't the best person in the world.

I realized quick, after only a few dreams, that I shouldn't be doing everything I could to push them away. I should just be grateful that they took me with them. I was only just beginning to recognize the emotions of that vision. How painful it was to lose them. To be left behind like that tore me apart, and though it did hurt, I knew it was far worse than I remembered yet.

Another reason I refused to open up again. The last thing I needed was for them to know how pointless it was.

So along with the fear I felt constantly, there was a new sadness there I wasn't used to. One nothing had happened to cause, but to me, that sadness was real. I carried it around, unable to do much else with it.

While I was awake, was a whole other story. Without directing my thoughts, I was so scared he'd find me. Some nights, it kept me awake instead of the reading. Making it impossible to read at all. Trembling where I sat. Sometimes it amazed me, really thinking about it, how deeply terrified I could be of one person.

I would sit up in my bed, the light in the room on. I couldn't make myself turn it off. I just knew if I turned it off, he'd find me. It was stupid, I knew, but I couldn't help it. It was times like that that my mind like to get creative, just to scare me. I was fully aware that he couldn't reach me here. I knew he'd be stupid to try, and he knew that too, but I couldn't help being afraid.

But now, instead of running downstairs for company, I'd stay right where I was. I stay in my room, and I'd refuse to leave my bed. Sitting up, waiting for the fear to pass, or for me to get too tired to stay afraid.

I was hurting. Hurting so badly, nothing would cure it and I didn't even fully know why. What was I missing so much? What would help me? I didn't want to be so alone anymore. I didn't want to be afraid or angry anymore. I didn't want to be that way, but I didn't know how to change it even if I could. If I could change, I wouldn't know where to start.

Carlisle had taken a second, part time job. After ensuring I was fine with it, of course. I would be alright, I told him. He didn't have to worry about me. Of course he didn't have to worry about me. I was done resisting. I just didn't know if he did that to get away from not knowing what to do about me, or if he actually wanted to.

Jasper had started attending night classes at the college here, and that seemed to keep his mind busy. Probably as a small example of how school wasn't that bad, or maybe to get away from my constant torture. I didn't blame him.

So it was retreating up to my room with me. Carlisle was gone, working more and more. Often not getting home until near midnight when I was always still awake.

It was almost time to settle in and start my nightly battles with my own mind. I hated this part of the day, because I knew I'd always wind up losing. Constantly being beaten down by my own head was a very discouraging thing.

Sitting up in bed, reading by the light of the lamp beside me, my attention was stolen by the soft rumble of thunder outside. Looking over at the doors across the room. The wind blew particularly hard tonight ahead of the approaching storm, rattling the glass slightly, and it unsettled me.

Shaking my head at how stupid I was for being unsettled, I turned my attention back to my book.

Carlisle got home right on time, but I didn't bother moving. I had at least a few pages to go before I was ready to close the book and try to sleep. All while trying to ignore the louder thunder, and the brief flashes of lightning outside the doors to my left.

Knowing it was stupid to be afraid of the storm outside didn't keep that from happening. It was one thing to try to ignore it sitting up and reading, but with as tired as I was, I couldn't do that anymore. I needed to try to sleep.

Here we go, I thought as I laid down. Thinking I'd be alright, since I left my light on. I hid in the light now. More often than not leaving it on. Any amount of time spent in the darkness always made it hard for me to breathe, so it stayed on.

It wasn't too bad, as I'd seen worse ones, but this one kept me awake. I'd jump every time I heard the thunder, and I'd jump every time I saw the flash of lightning behind my closed eyes.

Resorting to stuffing a pillow over my head, I curled into a tight ball, and I waited. I waited, and I waited, holding onto my thoughts the best I could, but I could certainly feel them slipping.

No, I thought to myself. I knew where I was. I was okay here. My thoughts didn't need to move, or stray. They didn't need to remind me of anything. They didn't need to torture me. I forced my breathing to stay slow and deep, despite the way my heart pounded faster than it should. I hid in the false sense of calm I believed in, ignoring the fact that underneath the pillow, my eyes were wide open.

Until at one point, the wind blew particularly roughly, right as the rain started dumping outside. Really pouring, from the sound of it.

I sat up in my bed, looking toward the illuminated windows. Leaves blew across the balcony outside as the wind carried them from the trees. I heard the scraping noise they made clear as a bell, and it made me really edgy.

Now, already scared from all of that, my fear turned to heart-stopping terror as an even louder clap of thunder exploded overhead, at the very same time lightning illuminated my bedroom, and with just that, all of the light was gone.

The room around me bathed in complete darkness, my heart pounded a million miles a minute. I couldn't see absolutely anything around me. The light snatched from me, stolen from around me, and in a deep sense of panic, I fought my way out of bed. Kicking the blanket back as quickly as I could. Fighting with it.

I knew it was stupid to be so afraid of the dark, but that did little to calm me down. Throwing open my bedroom door, I raced up the hall toward the stairs until arms suddenly caught me. My resulting scream seemed to come from my toes, and I fought.

"It's only me." Alice's voice immediately stopped my struggles, "It's okay, Leandra. It's alright."

Listening to the sounds of those downstairs ascending the stairs, I started to cry. Heavily. She lifted me up easily, holding me as I clung to her. Outside, the rain continued to pour in rivers as I cried uncontrollably in Alice's arms.

"What happened?" Esme's voice directly behind me caused a strong whimpering sob to leave me, as she'd startled me.

"The storm must have scared her." Alice explained, "She came running from her room. I knew she'd fall if she tried to run down the stairs, so I stopped her. She wasn't expecting it."

The electricity was suddenly restored, the light in the hallway returning. I could see again, but chose to keep my eyes tightly closed, and the process of trying to calm down started. First things first. I needed to breathe. I needed to take a breath.

"Is she alright?" Carlisle was there suddenly, both he and Jasper soaking wet. They had probably gone outside to fix the power.

"She'll be alright." Alice answered, "Though with how tight she's holding on, I think she'll be awake for awhile."

After a few seconds I was slowly changed arms and I recognized Esme's arms holding me now. I kept my eyes closed tight, despite being able to see now. I was still so scared. Trembling violently and unable to stop it.

She turned, carrying me down the stairs. Not seeming bothered in the least to hold me this way. Just as she reached the bottom step, the light disappeared yet again with another heavy rumble of thunder. Given my whimper and tighter hold, she knew I noticed. She sighed, shaking her head.

"It'll be fine." She told them, "Wait until morning so this doesn't keep happening. We'll just light some candles." The others immediately got moving.

The candles were lit, and the movement in the room died down as the others settled around. Concerned over how upset I was. I was hardly ever upset anymore. Since that day, I'd just buried it all away. Now, I couldn't. I couldn't bury it anymore. Taking a deep, trembling breath in an attempt to calm down.

"What's bothering you, sweetheart?" Esme asked, sitting with me on the couch. The way she held me was making it very easy to slow the panic that was numbing me. Sideways across her lap with both her arms around me, which I didn't mind in the least.

I finally opened my eyes, and I could see again thanks to the several candles resting lit around the room. Looking up at her. I knew why she asked. Refusing to talk about things that bothered me lately, and suddenly, tonight happened. I had to at least give her something.

"The dark.." I mumbled through tears, looking away again, "I can't stay in the dark." I felt so stupid admitting that I was still terrified of the dark, but they knew that.

Hell, it was even impossible for me to walk down a dark hallway to get to my room. I took the long way to get through it.

Turning on the hall light to walk ahead and turn on the next hall light before returning to turn off the first hall light. Once at my room, I'd turn on every light in my room before turning off the second hall light, then hauling ass into my nice, bright bedroom. It was bad. It had gotten worse, but they knew that.

"Besides that." She wasn't taking that as an answer.

"And please," Emmett spoke up, "Don't say 'nothing'."

I pursed my lips, shaking my head. I wasn't ruining everything now. I wouldn't say 'nothing'. I wouldn't say anything. I couldn't anyway with the way my emotion stuck around. I just laid there in Esme's arms, resting for a moment.

"What's bothering you?" Esme asked again, and she got the same answer. I wasn't giving up anything. With a sigh, she tried to sit me up, but I wasn't having that. Holding tighter to her to stay right where I was. Taking the hint, she kept me where I was. I couldn't even look at her anymore. I couldn't look at anyone. Choosing to stare at my bare feet rested on the couch.

Esme sat with me, holding me securely in her arms on her lap. Sitting silently now, she didn't ask anymore. Instead, she smoothed my back.

Several minutes passed this way, but I was having trouble calming down, despite the way Jasper watched me. The storm outside kept claiming my full attention, and I trembled roughly with each loud clap of thunder that rocked the house, and my tears continued. I fought it, but my tears wouldn't stop, and I even had to ask myself. What was I so afraid of?

At one point, I felt her nod. To what, I had no idea, but I didn't feel like asking.

Holding me this way was something she'd done for me before. She'd held me like this before, many times, but tonight, she decided to do something new that made it somehow mean more.

Softly, she started to hum to me.

I wasn't sure I was hearing right when she started, so I had to listen closer. Concentrating on her voice instead of the storm outside or the fearful thoughts in my mind. Listening this way stole my entire focus.

I didn't recognize the song she hummed, but it had to be the most beautiful song I'd ever heard in my life. I almost couldn't hear it with how quiet it was, and I found myself calming down just so I could listen. To focus solely on her voice, and nothing else. Blinking left over tears from my eyes, and forcing my breathing to slow.

The combination of her smoothing my hair and her humming voice comforted me in a way I had never been before. Not once. Not even with her before. This was something that calmed me far more than anything else she'd ever done. More than anything anyone had ever done.

I'd never had this experience before, but it was something I definitely loved, and it reached a much different part of me I hadn't even known still existed before. It reached a part of me that I had always thought was gone forever. This part, the part this comfort reached, was as close to the emptiness as anything had ever gotten before.

I'd always, always thought that when I grew up too fast, that was it. I always thought that when I grew up, there wouldn't be this anymore.

This opened my eyes to the fact that I did still have a part of me that had always longed for this. To be comforted this way, to know for sure that she was here, because the sound of her humming was so constant. It seemingly never ended. I'd never paid any attention whatsoever to the part of me that desperately needed a mother. I'd resisted it, until tonight, when Esme filled that part more completely than I'd ever accepted before.

It confused me, but I didn't question it.

It really made me realize what the others had been telling me all along. I really was only ten years old. Despite how I wanted to keep crying, for an entirely different reason now, my tears had finally stopped, though they continued to dry on my cheek. I finally realized how tired my eyes were. Sore from crying so much, so often.

This was something I hadn't even realized I needed. Esme doing this for me was something I never even knew was possible. She wasn't my mother, and I'd always kept that in mind, but suddenly, she was now.

Now that I almost had no choice but to accept that, it almost hurt to have that part of me that needed this woken up again. It hurt me, but it ached in a way that was so unfamiliar to me. Like the ache of bruises healing, but it wasn't a bad thing.

I hadn't even noticed just how calm I'd gotten until I gave first one deep, shaky yawn, then another moments later. Within probably only a few minutes, I fell asleep. Normally, I kept myself awake by dreading falling asleep. Scared of what I'd see, and what I'd remember. It nearly surprised me to know I didn't dread it. If I could have been surprised, I would have been.

I woke a bit later to her moving, carrying me back up the stairs, but her continued humming kept me from waking completely.

She laid me back into my bed, and I did start to wake up. Enough to reach up and grab her hand as she tried to pull back. I opened my eyes to find a candle had been brought up with us, so it wasn't dark in here. Carlisle was just setting it down as I glanced over at it. The source of light only aided in keeping my panic at bay.

I wanted Esme to stay with me. Not to leave. I felt a little selfish for wordlessly requesting for her to stay, but I couldn't help it. I was confused, very confused and I knew she could see it.

She just smiled at me, holding my hand in return as she gently sat down beside me. She continued with her song, this time adding quiet words to what she was humming before. Easily soothing me back into the calm I'd been in before.

Her soft voice, how slow, unrushed and patient it was, made me firmly believe that she had no intention of leaving me. That, combined with being covered with my blanket had my eyes close again. Seconds after I felt the secure weight of the heavy blanket over me, that was it. It was as if I had no choice but to sleep, my eyes too heavy to stay open. I clearly heard more thunder rumble outside, but that wasn't even enough to make me stir again.

I slept the entire rest of the night, never remembering moving at all. When I woke up, I was alone, and the morning was still rainy, but not as much as it was the night before. The quieter rain reminded me more of home, and I wasn't afraid anymore. The candle was gone, but I didn't need it anymore.

Across the room, I noticed something new. In the electrical outlet between the closet door and the bathroom door, was a circular thing plugged in. Staring at it, I tried to make sense of it, but it took me a moment. Climbing out of bed, I inspected it. It looked to be a nightlight. One that turned off when it sensed light in the room, but covering the little sensor, it turned on. I wouldn't know for sure until that night, but it seemed to put off a decent amount of light.

Sighing, I kneeled there. Thinking.

I honestly didn't know what to think about the night before. It unsettled me just how much I'd relied on her. Allowing myself to be comforted that much was more than I'd ever let myself before. I'd always taken her kind words and her hugs lightly. Not depending on them or relying on them very much.

But the night before, it was more than that. That part of me hadn't ever been reached before. Would it stay that way? The real question was would I let it stay that way? And now that I'd allowed myself to be reached that deeply, would I open up to the family again?

Would they treat me differently, or would I treat them differently? Everyone had seen what she did, and at the time, I didn't mind it. Now, I was embarrassed. I wasn't some little kid. I depended on my ability to handle things on my own. As much as I'd never known how much I needed a mother, I needed my wall of strength I hid behind.

It confused me how easily she stepped behind that wall, and reached me without me blocking her way. Had she done the right thing, putting forth that extra bit of effort? It came naturally for her to be a mother, but did it come naturally for me to be a daughter?

All these questions raced through my mind, but I knew the only way to find the answer would be to go downstairs. I'd always been so guarded. Independent in my own way. Would this change how I'd always been?

So, nervously, I left my room. I didn't know why I was nervous, or why I was so unsettled. I hadn't minded what she did for me. Not in the least, but I felt like I didn't know where I stood anymore. Like I didn't know myself anymore.

I found her in the kitchen, sitting at the table with Carlisle. Both of them looked my way, finding me where I stood hesitantly in the doorway. I was sure she saw the questions in my eyes, ones I didn't know how to ask, because she just smiled. Like the night before.

"How.." I muttered, "Did you do that?" I was _so_ confused, and that was the first question I could think to ask.

"Come here, sweetheart." She requested quietly, and I did. I stood beside her where she sat, and she took my hands in her own, "I know what happened wasn't something you're used to, but I'll be here to do that for you whenever you need me to. I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable?" I shook my head immediately, "You weren't expecting that to work so well, were you?"

"No." I answered quietly, shaking my head again, "I didn't dream. At all. That hasn't happened since we've been here."

"You're still a child, honey." She reminded me, "You still crave affection, and you need that comfort you never received from your own mother. Craving affection like that isn't something you need to be ashamed of. It's nothing to feel embarrassed about."

"I didn't even know that was possible." I admitted, "I've never felt that comfortable before."

She smiled, "I think that's what's been bothering you. The bond was there, but you needed more than that. You just didn't know how to, or even if you should ask for it. I've been tempted to try that for some time now, but I wasn't sure how to go about it."

"It probably wouldn't have worked as good before." I smiled a little.

"Probably not." She agreed with me, "The others aren't going to tease you, if that's what you're worried about." I nodded a little, "They understand completely, okay? They won't even bring it up. They don't expect anything different, but they do hope you'll give them a chance as well. We all know how closed you've been."

She calmed me down about it, easing my worries without even really trying.

"I didn't want to be." I mumbled, looking down.

"What's been going on?" She asked, pulling me lightly to sit beside her. I sat willingly, keeping my eyes down. I felt so bad suddenly. I couldn't keep denying anything was wrong. Not when she was so worried, and definitely not after she'd tried so hard the night before to help me.

"I _hate_ fighting." I admitted, "I don't like the way I talk to you, because I _know_ you don't deserve it. I guess my mouth just doesn't listen to my head when I get that mad at everything." I paused, "I couldn't stay home, and I figured if I could get that mad, and still have to go, that wasn't gonna change. So I taught myself how to give up, and it worked, but I guess I was just still afraid to bother anyone here. So I stayed out of the way. I think I gave up too much."

"Is that why you haven't spoken much?" She asked, and I nodded, "Honey, you know you can give your opinion any time. All we ask is that you try to stay calm about it." I looked down, "And we definitely don't want you to close your thoughts off. We all see how you've been struggling with those." I hesitated, before I nodded a little again. It'd be kinda stupid to try to deny that.

"For what it's worth, you've been doing exceptionally well in school." Carlisle spoke up, and I looked over at him, "You're very smart. We've always known that, so I don't see how you could think distancing yourself was any part of what we'd want from you."

"After how I acted?" I mumbled, "It was as far away as I could get without living outside."

"You were upset." He reasoned, "But that doesn't mean you need to hide away every chance you get. Disagreements are going to happen, but there's no progress ever made by lashing out or running from them."

I nodded a little again. I'd noticed that already. How by hiding away, things pretty much stayed the same for me.

"Compromises are crucial when there can be no agreement." He continued, "You're still learning that, and nobody can blame you. You're still learning how and how far to give in, and that's a difficult lesson to learn, but no matter what happens during an argument, you don't have to feel put out or threatened."

That's where I disagreed, and he could tell that by the way I looked over at him.

"Yeah, I do." I replied anyway. That concerned him, so I went on, "I'm not allowed to feel too mad anymore." Understanding came to his eyes, "I don't want that hurt again, so I have to be careful." I took a breath, "When I feel mad like that, it's usually because I have to cry. The more mad I get, the more I feel like crying. I sort of.. Balance it. I've done that my whole life, but when all that mad was taken away, it hurt even worse."

I shook my head, "I shouldn't have yelled like that, and I'm sorry for that, but I was trying to get away before I could. Nobody would let me. I just wanted to calm down first before I had to talk about what happened that day."

"I've spoken to Jasper about it." Carlisle told me, "That isn't going to happen again."

"How do I know that?" I asked, "I get why he did it, and I don't blame him because I was being so mean, but I don't want that to happen again."

"It won't." Carlisle assured me, but I let it go for now. Instead, I gave a glance around.

"Where is everyone?" I asked.

"They wanted to go out and do things." Esme explained, "It's been awhile, and since it's so cloudy today, I didn't see the harm."

That made sense, "Oh."

"So tell me." She prompted, "Why haven't you been sleeping? Same reason?"

"That's a long story." I sighed, leaning forward and resting my folded arms on the table, "Some nights, it's the stuff I don't remember, and others, it's about what happened before. In the vision. It's driving me crazy."

"No memories?" She asked, surprised.

"Those wait until I'm awake." I muttered, "So it's like I'm dreaming all the time now. Except when I read, but even sometimes then. That's why sometimes I have to do whatever school-work Mr. Kline lets me at home."

"Would you still be against perhaps taking something to help you sleep?" Carlisle asked, and I cringed a little, "I know you don't really care for sleep-aids, but going so long without adequate sleep isn't good for you."

"I like being able to wake up when I need to." I mumbled.

"What I give you won't be very strong." He clarified, "Just enough to help you rest." I whimpered, looking over at Esme.

"We're just worried about you." She told me, "All we're asking is to just give it a try."

I hesitated, looking down as I thought.

"Can I ask something too?" I asked, and that clearly got their attention.

"Of course." Carlisle replied, and I looked to him.

"I want you to look." I muttered, "To make sure you're the only one allowed to pick me up from school. Well, you or the others."

"Why?" He frowned, "Leandra, that should go without saying. Did you see something?"

I shook my head, answering his last question before I spoke, "I don't know, but.. Just look. Please? I know I'm a pain, but I just want to be sure." He nodded.

"You aren't a pain, and I'll do that first thing tomorrow." He said, "I'll also request specifically to be notified if that changes, or if anyone else were to try." I nodded this time, taking a breath, "Again, that should go without saying, but if it'll ease your worries, I'll be happy to do it."

Honesty was working so far. Making myself say the things I needed to say was helping.

"And I don't like having to visit with that stupid school counselor." I said, "She watches my every move, and it makes me think she's just itching to call me insane or something."

"I'll see what I can do about that as well." Carlisle nodded again. I was being taken seriously. This was working.

"I won't hit anybody else if I can help it." I mumbled, "But sometimes it's hard. Especially when I'm packed around other kids. I get scared then. I mean, in class, it's not so hard, because they're not moving around. But during lunch or at recess or something, I have to sit away from them."

"Oh, honey." Esme murmured, "You shouldn't isolate yourself like that. It defeats the purpose."

"I'm not really isolated." I admitted quietly, "Somebody sits with me." My first time ever mentioning Alyssa to any of them. I must have been feeling better than I thought. I shrugged a little as I glanced at Carlisle, "She's the one you always see."

Esme smiled immediately, glancing to Carlisle also as I went on, "She's in my class, and I started talking to her the day I got back from being suspended. Apparently, one of the boys I beat up was her brother. So the least I could do was talk to her, you know? After that, we just sort of.. Started following each other around. Her brother follows us when he can."

"That's so wonderful." Esme grinned, hugging me. I couldn't help laughing a little, her enthusiasm contagious.

"It isn't that big of a deal." I mumbled, shaking my head with a laugh, "I don't know. It's just different with her. She's not like the other kids."

"So tell me about her." Esme requested, and I frowned a little.

"Well," I murmured, "Her name's Alyssa. She's got a huge family?" I was uncertain if that was interesting enough. Esme smiled, so I assumed it was, "She's got four brothers."

"Four?" That did seem to surprise her a little.

"Yeah." I said, "Three older than her, and one younger. That's the one I hit. We haven't talked much about her other brothers yet. I don't think she likes talking about them much. She's got a little sister, but I haven't met her yet. She's in Kindergarten."

I hadn't even realized I was rambling. I went quiet, looking down.

"Honey, there is something I'd like to talk to you about." Esme spoke up, and I looked over at her, "I want to ask you if it'd be alright with you if I picked up a project."

"What do you mean?"

She explained about her hobbies, things she liked to do. She told me she'd found an old house she wanted to restore, or fix up, and she wanted to know if I'd be okay with her being gone for hours, sometimes all day on certain days.

"Why does everyone think they have to ask me before they do anything?" I wondered, shaking my head a little, "Whatever you want to do."

"We want to avoid upsetting you." She explained, "We know how difficult change is for you."

"I'm as adjusted to being here as I'm ever going to be." I told her with a sigh, "As long as someone stays here with me, and I'm not here all alone, I think I'll be alright."

I found I felt a lot better with just talking about everything. I hadn't realized how much I'd missed talking to them, and on the plus side, Esme agreed not to tell the others I finally spoke up. I didn't want to be expected to just jump right back into being the way I was before. That wouldn't help anything.

Sitting on the couch when they all got home, Emmett found me in my usual spot.

"Hiya, shorty." That was his usual greeting whenever he saw me, patting my head lightly on his way by. Rosalie gave me a look, clearly still not having forgiven me for the things I said to her.

Emmett and Jasper both stopped for a word or two with Esme in the kitchen, before Emmett found his way to his usual spot on the other side of the couch. Now that I knew where I stood again, it was easy to see now how I'd been treating him.

He was focused on whatever movie I'd chosen to watch while waiting for dinner get done, his hand rested on the empty couch cushion beside him. Right where it usually was.

Reaching over, he noticed the second I moved but only watched as I scooted my hand under his. I looked over at him, and I couldn't help smiling a little at the surprise on his face. It was a good surprise, so I knew he wasn't mad at me. Especially given his grin seconds later.

He squeezed my hand lightly, like he always used to, and left it at that. Thankfully not making a big deal out of it. I'd need to get into giving them a chance on my own.

It was a stand-off that night before bed. Between me, and the tiny white pill sitting on the table in next to me. It seemed so scary to me. I held the small glass of water in my hands, just watching it.

Carlisle was patient, not pushing in the slightest. He knew how hard this was for me. Even agreeing to this took a whole lot of trust, and I knew he was only trying to help me, but it was still hard for me.

Anything Jack ever gave me to take for whatever reason he found always resulted in some not so pleasant situations. Anything that would make me the slightest bit sleepy, I would always refuse if it were up to me. I'd already explained that, so I knew he knew how much he was asking of me.

I reasoned with myself. If I tried this out, Carlisle would go to the school tomorrow to talk to the people there. I wanted that, so I had to do this.

It took close to fifteen minutes of preparing myself, but I eventually reached over and picked it up. Closing my eyes, not giving myself a chance to look at it or pause, I took the pill with a few large gulps of water.

I wasn't sure how long it'd take to kick in, so I laid down with a nervous whimper to wait for it.

"I know." He told me, taking the empty glass from me, "I wouldn't be suggesting this if I didn't believe it'd help you a great deal." I nodded a little, taking a deep breath.

"Can you leave the light on?" I asked quietly, "Until I fall asleep?" I wasn't sure about the nightlight, and if it was bright enough, I wouldn't mind it later on, but for right then, I wanted as much light around me as possible.

"Of course." He replied with a nod. It seemed he was going to stay with me for a little bit. I didn't mind that.

"I just need it to stay on." I mumbled, despite the way I knew he knew that, "It can't be turned off."

"It'll stay on." He repeated, "I promise. Try not to think about anything before you fall asleep."

"I've tried that." I shook my head, "My head chooses where it goes, not me. Especially when I'm asleep. It does what it wants then. I guess I should be glad my dreams haven't been memories lately, though."

Another few minutes of sitting there, I knew he could tell it was starting to work.

It wasn't a choice to close my eyes. It just happened. Like I didn't have the strength to keep them open anymore. I hated that feeling, and it scared me as much as it could, but it didn't make a difference.

I'd gone to bed early, just so I could have plenty of time to sleep, and still wake up fairly early in the morning. Esme was sitting there when I did find myself starting to wake up, having taken Carlisle's place. It took a few tries, and even falling back to sleep for another half hour, but I eventually managed to open my eyes to early morning light outside.

It was hazy, but I knew I did dream. It was trying to come back to me, and it was starting to, but it was taking its time. My dreams the night before had been mostly centered around the vision. What happened before.

If I hadn't been before, I was now overwhelmingly glad I got to come along with them this time around. The pain I thought I felt before over them leaving, paired with the desperate loneliness, was unbearable to remember _this_ vividly. Instead of my memories becoming real, the vision seemed real this time. It actually surprised me that I was here.

"I hate this." I mumbled when I could.

"You'll start to shake it off soon." She assured me quietly.

"I can't do that again." My tears started to fall, trailing from my eyes into the pillow beneath my head. It messed with my head too much, and it shook me. It had honestly felt like I'd been there, and the emotions of that were catching up to me. On top of feeling sick, and whether that was an emotional response or a physical response, I wasn't sure.

I jumped awake again at Esme's hand smoothing my hair back. I hadn't even realized I was trying to fall back to sleep.

"Perhaps a lower dosage?" She suggested.

"I'll try lower." I mumbled, knowing that's what she wanted to hear. After that dream, I'd be as cooperative as I could. And besides. As active as my mind had been, it did feel good to get as much sleep as I had.

Sitting up did help. It eased my emotions and helped me to shake off the pill. I still felt it, but maybe an hour after sitting up, it became less noticeable instead of lasting the entire day. My earlier emotions were still there, but they were comforted significantly by the blueberry pancakes Esme made me for breakfast. I sure wasn't complaining.

To my surprise, nobody else was downstairs with us for quite some time. There was always at least Emmett with me. When someone did arrive, it was Carlisle.

I still had about an hour before we needed to leave, so I wasn't in any particular rush, but I did feel quite underdressed when Carlisle was already dressed to leave.

"You're still coming to the school today, right?" I asked him, and he gave me a nod.

"Of course." He replied, "How are you feeling?"

"Better." I admitted, nodding as well, "Better than when I first woke up."

"Having something on your stomach helps." He explained.

"I didn't know how hungry I was." I laughed a little. It was a surprise to me how much I could eat.

"You haven't exactly had much of an appetite lately, either." Esme spoke up, and I had to agree. She had a point. I'd been lucky to finish a bowl of cereal lately. It really made me see how much lack of sleep could affect everything about my life.

"So we'll be trying a lower dosage tonight?" Carlisle asked, seeming unsure if I'd still agree. I nodded again.

"Just a little less." I requested, "I don't like how hard it was to wake up."

"That could also have been your attempt to catch up on all of the sleep you've lost." He replied, "So that may still be a side effect tomorrow morning."

Monday. The last week in October began the day before Halloween.

I wanted to make sure that Carlisle stuck with what he told me the day before, sticking by his side as he entered the office, and took the time to speak with the proper people. This person's name was Ms. Vera, and she took care of all the important student records for the principal. I wanted to feel bad for her, because there were so many students here, but I couldn't.

She assured Carlisle that the only ones actually allowed to sign me out of school was Esme, and himself. Anyone else wouldn't be allowed to see me should they try, but unfortunately, there was nothing they could do about who picked me up after school let out for the day.

However, there were always several teachers watching the kids as they got to their proper places once let out of school. As in to the buses or their parent's cars. If something was wrong, they'd be the first to know.

She also assured him that this was generally the safest school in the district, and that if he had any more questions regarding my safety, they'd be happy to answer them, or address any concerns he had. He declined with a smile.

Even that bitch seemed so full of it. Just like the principal. I didn't believe her, but Carlisle assured me that he did. The bell had rung while we were in there, so I hoped I wouldn't be in trouble for being late to class.

For once, however, Carlisle actually walked me to my class. I didn't mind that. Not in the least. I actually wanted him to see where I had been trapped most of the day, since he hadn't seen it yet.

He stepped into the room with me, and I smiled a little at the sound the class made as they saw him. Carlisle paid no attention to that, though. Probably used to it, considering that he taught part time now. He apologized to Mr. Kline as I stood there with him, letting him know my reason for being late. I didn't need a note if Carlisle was the one that explained it.

Mr. Kline assured him that he wasn't upset, and glanced down at me.

"Leandra, could you please go have a seat?" Mr. Kline asked me, "I'd like a small word with your father." I nodded compliantly. Leaving Carlisle's side, I headed up the row to my desk.

"That's your dad?" Alyssa asked me in a whisper the second I was in range, and I laughed a little. He'd seen her, but she must not have been observant enough to see him. At least never really close enough to notice before. I let my backpack fall from my shoulder, catching it.

"Yeah." I said, sitting down, "Why?"

"I've never had a crush on someone's dad before." She muttered, and I looked at her. What the hell was she talking about? I knew what she meant by having a crush, as she'd discussed it with me before, but that just weirded me out.

"Gross." I said, and she laughed.

"Are you blind?"

"No." I said, leaning down to open my backpack.

"Look at him." She stressed.

"Okay," I laughed, "Stop talking. How'd you like it if I talked like that about your dad?" The thought turned my stomach, but I was trying to make a point.

"Ew." She frowned.

"Exactly." I huffed, laying my folder on my desk, "So shut up."

"But you're not actually related to him, though." I regretted letting that slip once. I'd mentioned to her that they were my foster family, but wouldn't go anywhere near an explanation.

"So?" I countered, "He's still my dad. As much of a dad as I have."

"All I'm saying, is that he's hot-"

"Ah!" I interrupted, "Shut up, Alyssa." She was making me very uncomfortable, without even trying. Somehow, knowing Carlisle could actually hear what she was saying bugged me.

"She's right, you know." The girl sitting behind me, her name was Brianna, commented, "I don't think there's anybody here that doesn't agree. Except maybe the boys-"

I turned around, "Do you want me to stab you?"

"Leandra." Alyssa frowned, and I sighed. She was right.

"I'm serious." Brianna insisted, "I get that you don't see it, because if you did there'd be something wrong with you, but that don't mean we can't look."

"Fine." I muttered, shaking my head as I looked back down at my book and Friday's math problems, "Look all you want, but leave me out of it. You guys are gross."

Alyssa turned in her chair and looked to Brianna, both giggling at my obvious discomfort. I chose to focus on the math problems in front of me. I honestly wasn't sure if I'd answered number four right, and that bugged me.

After a minute or two, I watched as Carlisle came up the row to me, crouching down to be on my level. I thought Alyssa was going to die. I shot her a brief look, and she quickly focused on the page in front of her.

"When I get home tonight, we have to talk." Carlisle seemed concerned, "Emmett will be picking you up today, because I have to work later, but expect a discussion when I get home. Okay?" I nodded, agreeing, "Will you be okay today?"

I didn't miss his brief glimpse to hyperventilating and giggling Brianna behind me, knowing Alyssa was doing the same, despite the look I gave her. I knew why he'd ask. Embarrassment never kept me calm. I had to be blushing just as bad as Alyssa was.

"I'll be okay." I sighed, and he nodded, hugging me briefly. Smiling a little as he stood up, I watched after him as he left the room.

"Oh my God." Alyssa whined as soon as the door was closed behind him, melting a little in her chair, "I've got to come over to your house one of these days."

"Only if I can go over to yours first, and drool over your dad." I muttered bitterly.

"You wouldn't want to do that." She said, her smile fading instantly.

"It's only fair." I challenged, and she looked down. I sighed, suddenly feeling bad for being so mean. It wasn't really her fault, I figured.

So I relented, "I'll ask if it's okay."

She instantly grinned again, looking over.

"Thanks."

"Can I come too?" Brianna asked, and I rolled my eyes.

"One at a time." I mumbled, "I'm not having the entire class follow me home. I go home to get away from you people."

"Aw." She muttered, disappointed.

"I think every girl in class just grew up all at once." Alyssa pointed out, and I leaned forward, thumping my head on the desk. Choosing to ignore that, I shook my head, looking forward again at Mr. Kline trying to get everyone to pay attention again. Just as I figured it would be, that was impossible until after recess.

The whispers continued, however, and that annoyed me, but I ignored it the best I could. Recess was unbearable. It sure didn't help when a bunch of girls from my class gathered around the swings with a bunch of girls from the other fifth grade classes, giving me glances now and then. Even a handful of fourth grade girls started to take notice of their talk.

"What the fuck is wrong with people?" I grumbled.

"Just ignore them." At least Alyssa had thankfully let the subject drop, "This stuff happens all the time. You should have seen it the time my older brother walked us to school. I didn't get it either, but I sure do now." She gave a small laugh, but it died as I glared at her, failing into a light cough.

"Let them talk." Alex added, ripping at the grass, "They're nothing but a bunch of air-heads anyway."

It almost came to a fight, though, when three were brave enough to come over and ask me his name. Until Alex chased them away by threatening to spit on them. He even chased after them as they ran, squealing, back to their herd.

"He's really not so bad." I had to admit, and Alyssa laughed.

"Nah," She said, "He's got his moments."

As usual, Alyssa and I sat together for lunch. I was still a little full from breakfast, but Alyssa was starving, so I didn't mind keeping her company.

"So do you think they'll say yes?" She asked me, smiling at me hopefully as we sat.

"I don't know." I mumbled honestly, "I haven't exactly been the model kid, you know? But I'll ask." She nodded a little, looking back down at her tray for a moment. She had something on her mind.

"What's wrong?" I asked, "Aren't you hungry?" She smiled a little.

"Not really." She replied, "Loose tooth."

"Can I see?" I smiled a little as well. Proudly, she opened her mouth to point out the canine tooth on the left side of her mouth, wiggling it a little with her finger. It was pretty loose, almost ready to go and barely hanging on.

"I wanna yank it, but I'm scared." She admitted.

"Let me do it." I grinned, and she seemed hesitant, "Please? You can yank mine when it gets loose."

"Fine." She muttered and I grinned even more as she opened her mouth wider. Pushing up my sleeves, I grabbed a napkin and scrunched it up, placing it gently over the loose tooth and finding a grip.

"I was so freaked out the first time I ever lost a tooth." I told her, mostly just to distract her, "I thought I was dying. It scared the hell out of me." She laughed along with me, "Ready? One.." I didn't even get to two before I yanked it out. She squeaked, but otherwise seemed fine. Hardly any pressure, and it was right out.

"What a rip-off." I muttered, "I didn't even need to use pliers." I handed her the tooth, napkin and all, and she looked it over. Hardly any blood colored it, just a slight pink around the tooth.

"Don't say rip-off." She laughed a little, "Especially when you're talking about yanking a tooth."

"Good point." I cringed a little.

"How's it look?" She asked, smiling.

"Like a hole between your teeth." I pointed out, "It's bleeding a little, but you're not going to die." She nodded.

"Alex offered to punch it loose, but I said no thanks." She explained.

"I don't blame you." I replied, "That would hurt."

"It feels much better, though." She told me, "Thanks."

"No problem." I smiled, "That was fun."

The conversation died for a minute or two. I picked at one of the three chicken nuggets on my tray, inspecting it. It screamed the word 'unhealthy'. Shuddering, I dropped the piece I'd picked off. Nope. That wasn't happening. I'd have to start requesting to bring my lunch instead. This stuff wasn't even fit for dog food.

"Leandra?" She asked, and I looked over, "I know you don't like talking about it, but.." She trailed off, "Why do you live with a foster family?"

I immediately looked down. Back to the ill-looking nuggets on my tray.

"Why don't you live with your real family? Did your daddy hit you?" She asked, and I stayed quiet. I knew she'd eventually get really curious, but I hadn't expected it so soon.

"No." I lied. Not only, I finished in my mind. I couldn't admit it to her.

"Just wondering." She shrugged a little, "How'd you get those scars, then?" She nodded toward my bare arms resting on top of the table. I immediately moved, hiding my arms under the table and pulling my sleeves back down.

The scars she was referring to, were the ones I had on my forearms. The only ones visible to her, as I had a lot more than those, but they were all caused by Jack. They'd healed quite a bit, but I hated how clear they still were on my skin. I always had.

Seeing I was not appreciating the subject, she spoke again.

"I got scars too, so don't worry." She assured me, "See?" She raised her sleeves, and sure enough, she did but they didn't seem quite the same as mine. Where mine were wide and varied in size and in shape, she did have a few that looked like mine, but she had a few more rounded ones. Not quite dots, but circles. Obviously healed over by a year or two.

"How'd you get yours?" I asked quietly, curious.

"You tell first." She shook her head, "I asked first." I looked back down at her arm, until I noticed something else.

"Where'd you get that?" I asked, reaching over and pointing out the hint of a bruise higher on her arm. One she hadn't even realized was partially visible. She flinched a little, a blush coating her cheeks as she hurriedly lowered her sleeve. Just the way I had done just a moment before.

"You first." She insisted. I looked back up, meeting her eyes. I hesitated before looking back down at my lunch tray.

"Never mind, then." I mumbled, and she shrugged.

"Fine." She mumbled.

"Fine." I repeated, and we finished our lunch in silence. Well, she did. I wasn't very hungry suddenly. More nauseous than hungry, actually.

She didn't let this bother her, though, and she acted as if there was nothing wrong. We finished the second half of lunch by walking around the playground. It really was chilly out today, and after about ten other girls coming up and asking me about Carlisle, I found it to be a very good idea to go back to the classroom early.

"I didn't say a word to anyone." Alyssa laughed in her own defense, "I swear."

"Remind me to stab Brianna." I muttered, "It's only fair."

"Why do you want to stab so many people? Or hurt them?" She asked.

"Why do you always gotta ask a million questions?" I countered, heading inside the building.

"Sorry." She muttered defensively. The classroom door was locked, so we just sat outside the door in the hall. Biding our time until Mr. Kline would get back.

"I don't mean to ask too many questions." She was still defensive.

"I know." I sighed, "Sorry. I'm just not used to it." She looked over, "I've never really had very many friends. I mean, I had two where I lived before."

"Just two?" She asked, and I nodded.

"Except they were more like.." I trailed off, "Cousins, I guess. Long story."

"Well, we have some time." She prompted, and I shook my head, so she went on, "I've never really had many friends either. Unless you count my stupid brother, but I don't think that counts. I just don't get along with people like I should, I think."

"Me either." I replied. This wasn't a surprise, as we'd discussed it before, but I didn't mind returning to the subject.

"Can you tell me about your friends?" She asked, and involuntarily, I smiled.

"I miss them a lot." I admitted first, "Josh and Zack were their names. I think you'd like them, too. Almost nothing bothered them."

"You said they're like cousins?" She asked and I hesitated.

"They're my stepdad's nephews." I replied, and she understood. Nodding, and accepting that answer as enough.

So I passed the ten minutes before recess ended telling her all about them. Describing their personalities made it really hard not to be bothered again, though. I missed them a lot. I also had no choice but to describe the turtle subject thoroughly, my quiet laughter echoing through the hall right along with hers.

I told her about Heather, and about Mike. How great they were, and how easy it was to get along with them.

I found she was smiling as much as I was, so she must have gotten the hint.

"And you'd rather move away from them to be with your foster family?" She asked, "I'd have wanted to stay with Zack and Josh."

"That's a long story too." I replied, "I mean, yeah. I fight with my family sometimes, but they're.. They're more than I deserve. They're amazing people. You don't even know."

"But you never talk about them." She pointed out.

"Maybe I just want to keep them just mine." I shrugged a little, and she nodded. Understanding again, so I looked over at her, "And what about you? You never talk about the rest of your family either. Just Alex, but he's not really that interesting. The most interesting thing about him is that he can pull some really.. Weird stuff from his nose."

Unfortunately, she got out of my line of questioning by the classroom door opening. Mr. Kline interrupting our discussion gave her room to change the subject by talking to him about the science project we'd recently had to turn in.

Narrowing my eyes a little, I watched her follow him to his desk. She seemed to be about as good at avoiding talking about something as I was.

So I let it go.

By the time school let out for the day, just about everybody in the fifth and fourth grades had asked me about Carlisle. If I didn't have Alyssa with me when all that happened, I probably would have hit a few people.

"So," Alyssa sighed as we stepped out front of the school, "What are you doing for Halloween?" Alex found us, stepping over.

"Nothing." I replied, shrugging.

"Don't you want some candy?" She asked, surprised.

"Not really." I answered, "I can just steal yours."

"Uh-uh." She laughed along with me, "I work hard for that stuff."

"Running around in a bed-sheet isn't working hard, Alyssa." Alex pointed out.

"Neither is using mom's make-up, Alexander." She countered, and I had to admit. That one was funny. She looked to me with a sigh, "Brothers."

That reminded me. I glanced over, across the street to my normal pick-up spot. Emmett stood outside his jeep where Carlisle was normally parked. Watching, and very amused by the smile on his face.

"Speaking of brothers," I spoke up, quieting their arguing, "Wanna meet mine?" They both followed my gaze, finding Emmett. I knew the second they saw him, as their eyes widened as they looked to me again.

Getting bored of waiting for them to say something, I stepped away. Crossing the street to where Emmett stood in the shade, grinning as he greeted me with a grin. It wasn't often he was the one to pick me up from school, but I'd never minded it before.

"Hey, shorty." He smiled, lifting me off my feet easily. Sitting me on his shoulder. It had been awhile since I'd allowed this. It felt normal.

He chuckled, "I think you have an admirer." He gestured back across the street at Alyssa and Alex, along with their incredulous, wide-eyed expressions.

I sighed, waving them over. She hesitated, but eventually led Alex over our way. The way Alyssa stared at him told me that he was the one with an admirer. Not me.

"Alyssa, this is Emmett. My brother." I told her from where I sat on his shoulder. I don't think she could have blushed any brighter. This time, I had to laugh, "Emmett, this is Alyssa. My friend."

"Friend, huh?" He smiled, kneeling a little, "Well, it's very nice to meet you." He held his hand out to her, and once again, I thought she was going to die. She muttered something in reply, and he chuckled. I nearly toppled over, but held on as he stood back up. He reached a hand up, bracing me. Just in case. I appreciated that.

"And that's Alex." I said to him, "Her little brother. He's weird." He didn't seem bothered in the least by my friends or their stares. Emmett smiling at Alyssa again, he seemed to be having a grand time making it hard for her to breathe.

"You're probably the biggest person I've ever seen." Alex muttered, and I palmed my face.

"I try." Emmett replied, chuckling.

"Don't pass out." I muttered to Alyssa, and she gave me an incredulous look. I spoke to Emmett now, "Alyssa wants to come over to our house sometime. I told her I'd ask, so put in a good word for her, okay?" He glanced up.

"I'm sure that'd be fine." He said, "I know Alice would have a field day with all that hair to work with." He swung me to my feet, and I couldn't help laughing at the quick drop, and the way it made my stomach drop with it. I wasn't used to that anymore.

I don't think Emmett could have made Alyssa's day any more than he did right then. Aside from when he lightly took her hand again before we had to leave. The wind blew cold this afternoon, so I knew she wouldn't think anything of how cold his hand was compared to hers. Even if she did, I knew she didn't care, and I was genuinely surprised she didn't pass out right there in the street.

Right about then, Alex turned with a quick, "Bye." And jogged back to the other side of the street. Glancing back after him, I saw the younger kids being led out of the building in a single line.

"See you tomorrow?" Alyssa asked me. I dreaded that, actually.

"Sorry, shorty." Emmett spoke up, "You've got an appointment tomorrow, remember?" I did? I looked up at him, and knew immediately to play along.

"Crap." I muttered, "I forgot about that." Explaining away the fact that I hadn't brought it up until now.

"Come on, Aly!" Alex called from the sidewalk, "Quit flirting, and let's go!" Beside Alex, holding his hand as she struggled to clear her longer, wind-blown black hair from her face, stood the tiniest girl I'd seen in awhile. I had zero doubts that was their little sister.

"Wednesday, then?" She asked me urgently, and I nodded, "'Kay, bye!" I watched after her, shaking my head a little with a small laugh.

When we could finally leave, I was tucked safely into the passenger seat of Emmett's jeep as we made our way back toward home.

"I think Alyssa is in love with Carlisle." I muttered, irritation in my tone. He laughed at what I said, shaking his head.

"I wouldn't doubt it." He said, "If how she looked at me was any hint. She doesn't hide it very well."

"Well," I admitted, "She said she has a crush."

"It's normal." He chuckled.

"It's weird." I countered, "Whatever it is, she needs to knock it off."

"It's only weird because you're part of the family, shorty." He told me, "If you'd just met us, you'd have the same reaction."

"No." I corrected, sitting forward a little, "I've never had that reaction. Remember? Back when I did first meet you guys. I met Alice first. Then Edward, and Jasper. I never acted like that."

"I wouldn't know. I didn't see you until lunch time." He reminded me.

"Well, I didn't." I replied, "You can ask Jasper. I was more nervous at being caught smoking than amazed like that."

"Well, you were also younger back then." He pointed out, "That could have been it, too."

"Not that much younger." I mumbled, disappointed as I added, "I'm still small."

"You might be small, but you've got some punch packed in that tiny package." He chuckled, "How long has it been since that fight? And he's still got two black eyes?"

My smile faded as I looked down. I thought about what I noticed the day I got back. The bruise I didn't cause.

"Yeah." I mumbled, keeping my eyes down. Should I bother bringing it up? It was probably nothing, but it bothered me. Then again, it had always bothered me how Zack and Josh would play rough.

"What's wrong?" He asked, glancing over at me.

"Nothing." I said, and he gave me a look, "Really. Nothing." He continued with the look, so I sighed, "Do all boys play rough with each other?"

"That's pretty much a given." He answered, "And it also depends on how they're brought up. It's in their nature, shorty." That was as good as an answer as I needed.

"Just wondering." I explained, my tone telling him he'd answered me sufficiently, and he nodded. We traveled in silence for a moment until I spoke again, "I wanted to hit everybody that asked about him today."

He smirked, "Carlisle?" I nodded, "Just imagine Wednesday. They'll all be asking about me." I groaned, realizing he was right.

"New rule." I said, "Nobody's allowed to visit me at school. Not if I want to stay out of jail. When I get picked up, whoever picks me up has to hide in the bushes."

"Protective?" He asked, "Or jealous?"

"Both, I think." I admitted, and he smiled over at me.

"Well, that's nothing new." I didn't comment on that, "Don't worry. You'll always be the only shorty to me." I smiled a little.

I wasn't going to say anything, but the second we got inside to find Rosalie and Esme talking on the couch, Emmett decided he needed to report.

"Shorty's little friend is the cutest thing." He chuckled, following me inside as he closed the door behind him. Ignoring him, I sat on the couch, and since we didn't have any homework besides reading, I stayed there.

"Oh?" Esme asked, smiling a little.

"I thought she was going to pass out." Emmett chuckled, having made the same observation as I had.

"Am I in trouble?" I asked, looking to Esme. Hoping to change the subject.

She offered a supportive smile, "No, honey. There are just some concerns of your teacher that need to be discussed. That's all."

"I've been good." I told her, "I haven't hit anybody."

"It's not about that." She assured me, "Don't worry."

"I'm always there on time." I went on, "I do all my work. There was that one math quiz that I didn't do very well on last week, but that was a hard day. I tried, though. I got a 'C' on it, at least. I didn't fail it completely."

"It's not about that, sweetie." She repeated with a smile, so I decided to let it drop.

I brought out my book, frowning at it. Waiting for Carlisle to get home, Technically, we were only supposed to read half the chapter, but I read the full thing in about forty-five minutes. It would have been faster, but I was distracted by my own thoughts and worries.

By the time he did get home, I was twice as worried. Had I done something wrong that I didn't know about? I couldn't think of a single time since that day that I'd acted out. I did all my work at one point or another. If I couldn't finish it in class due to distraction, I always did whatever he let me do for homework and turned it in the next day. He seemed to understand to a point, and was never really upset because he knew I was trying.

I followed Carlisle into the kitchen, nervously sitting at the small kitchen table. Where he spoke to me most often. Esme sat beside me with a small smile, so I knew at least she wasn't mad at me.

I waited, watching as he sat across the table from me. He didn't seem mad either, but I could tell whatever it was had been on his mind all day.

"Let me begin," He said, "By saying you're not in any trouble. I promise you." I eased ever so slightly, waiting, "We'll be going over this in greater detail with your teacher at the conference on Friday, but I'd like to address this with you now."

I fidgeted a little, nervous. Why would Mr. Kline want to schedule a conference? That usually meant the kid was in trouble.

"There are a handful of concerns he mentioned, and the first being that he's worried that you're too bright, too smart for the work in his class." That surprised me, "He thinks it's too easy for you. He's worried that you're not living up to your full potential there, and he wants to discuss the possibility of moving you ahead a grade."

"Even with all the school I already missed?" I asked, frowning a little in my confusion. I didn't consider myself any smarter than any other kid in my class.

"Apparently." Carlisle smiled a little, "Your test scores in reading alone are nearly high school levels." I remembered that. The short tests we'd had to take the week before was where he got that from, "Every other subject he's tested you in has far surpassed what grade you're in now."

Emmett smiled at me from where he leaned against the door frame, and to my surprise, Jasper did as well beside him.

"I want your opinion on the matter." He said, "I'd like to know your thoughts."

"I'd rather stay." I murmured, "Moving up a grade means I'd have to start middle school already. I don't want to have to start a new school again. I'm just getting used to this one."

Carlisle nodded, "I understand."

"Is.. That okay?"

"Of course." He replied, and I sighed a little, "If that's your preference, of course it's alright." I nodded again, so he continued.

"Now, there are a few more concerns." His previous small smile faded. Concern taking its place. I waited, looking to him, "As he explains it, sometimes during the day, he gives the class time to draw, or write their own stories about subjects he specifies." I looked down, knowing exactly what he was getting at, "Do you want to tell me about what you draw?"

"No." I mumbled, tracing the edge of the table with my finger.

"Leandra." He prompted and I sighed.

"I use the color red a lot." I answered, "So he doesn't like that. That's not my fault."

"It's not just that." He murmured, shaking his head, "This particular day, he asked everyone to draw what they dreamed about."

"He shouldn't have asked that." I replied simply, shrugging, "I wasn't even going to do it, but he wanted me to. I didn't want to get into trouble, so I just did it."

"He's only concerned, Leandra, and I can easily see why." Carlisle assured me, "He showed me one, and I have to say I am a bit concerned as well."

"I didn't do anything bad." I grumbled, "I didn't draw people." He sighed, reaching into his back pocket, pulling out the piece of paper he was talking about. Unfolding it, he laid it flat on the table in front of me. I remembered that drawing, and I didn't see what was so bad about it.

"Damn, shorty." Emmett was surprised, and I looked to him.

"What's so wrong with it?" I asked.

"Well.." He muttered incredulously, "For one, you tried to make the color of blood."

"That's not what I meant to do." I replied, "It just came out like that, but hey. It does, doesn't it?"

On the center of the piece of once-white paper, were only black scribbles, oval shaped scribbles. Three scribbles, but different sizes, and on all of those scribbles, I went over them with red. Layering the colors black and red, more red than black, so it made the red darker. Even darker when I'd press harder onto the page.

The same color red underneath the scribbles, pooling out from beneath them across the page, but between them was a darker red than they had on them or under them. It was basically just one big mess of black and blood red on one page, but the effort was there. Just enough to know the difference between the blacker black of the page, and the reddish black of the ovals.

Carlisle spoke again, "This is what almost everybody else had to draw."

He'd been given another student's picture. Just as a comparison. Laying it beside mine, he looked to me. I recognized it as one of the boy's pictures. This boy sat two rows over from me. His picture was of a horse standing out in a field. Many different colors, but absolutely no black or red. The sky was blue, the sun yellow. The fence and the horse brown, and the grass green.

Boring.

"Do you see the difference?" Carlisle asked calmly.

"His is pretty good." I commented, nodding a little. Carlisle shook his head.

"Look again."

"Uhm.." I trailed off, looking closer, "His grass is crooked?" Now Carlisle knew I was avoiding the answer. I knew what he found concerning, but I didn't find it concerning at all. It was normal to me. That was normal, but I could see the difference.

The boy's picture was open, mine was closed. Mine showed anger, effort in each pass with the crayon. Stress in the paper. Anger. Effort. Stress. Darkness, and blood.

The boy's picture was a horse. A horse standing in a sunny field. Seeing the pictures side by side like that, of course I could see a difference.

"What are we going to do about this?" He asked quietly, "Leandra, this worries me."

"Why?"

"Is this what you dream about?" He asked, and I bit my lip.

"Sometimes." I admitted, "Lately, it's hard to tell, but that's what I get from it. I can't see them, but I know they're there. I couldn't really draw what else I dream about." He stayed quiet, slowly pulling the pictures back to himself, "That'd just worry him even more, I think."

"Leandra, what do you and the counselor talk about?" He asked, "During your visits?"

"She asks me to tell her what I think about." I grumbled, "I never talk to her, but she doesn't quit trying."

"Why won't you talk to her?" He asked.

"Why should I?" I asked in return, "All these people worried about what's going on in my head, when they don't even want to know about it, because they'd just freak out. All I want is to just be left alone. It's none of their business what I think or dream about. It's not their problem."

"Leandra, if you're dreaming or thinking about things like this, that's a sign that something is wrong." He explained, and I slowly looked up. I didn't like what he was telling me. Not that it was news to me, but it bothered me to hear him say it.

"That's what I've been saying." I sighed, "Nobody believes me. I _know_ something is wrong with me. I don't dream about the things normal kids dream about, and I don't think the way normal kids think, but I'll draw a stupid horse next time. Maybe then I won't get into trouble."

I was getting irritated and defensive. For a second, before he even replied, I realized that. Taking a breath, taking a metaphorical step back. I took a second to really think about how I was feeling, and that helped.

"You're not in any trouble." He assured me, "We just want to help you. That's all."

"I can't be helped." I told him simply. I sighed, and I knew the more denial I gave him with this, the more he'd insist on talking about it. So I shrugged a little, "It's fine. I'm used to it." He didn't seem convinced, "I told you. It's not a pretty place in my head. It never has been. That's why I don't blame Edward for staying behind. If I could get away from it, I would too."

That only seemed to concern him even more, but he let it go for now. He sighed, standing up.

"Do I have to be there at the conference on Friday?" I asked, and he shook his head.

"No, that's only for Esme and I." He replied, and I nodded, "Tomorrow, you'll be staying home." I nodded again, smiling a little as I stood up. That pleased me.

"It's because of the party, isn't it?" I asked, curious.

"I only think it'd be best if you weren't made to interact with hyperactive children." He explained and I laughed a little.

The small party for Halloween our grade was having. They'd all meet in the bigger classroom. There was bound to be sugar galore there, and probably kids bouncing off the walls everywhere you looked, so he was right to be worried. If someone annoyed me the wrong way, I'd punch them without another thought. I could do without that, so I'd gladly stay home.

"I'm not complaining." I murmured, "I'd rather stay home for good, but I know I can't. Can I go now? I want to get tonight's homework done." There'd probably be no homework tomorrow. Mr. Kline was cool like that. He nodded and I turned. Leaving the kitchen.

I found my backpack still lying on the couch, pausing long enough to sigh deeply.

"You okay?" Emmett had followed me.

"Not a good look, was it?" I asked, looking up at him, "If that picture I drew worries you, then you'd really hate having Edward's gift. That was nothing."

"I guess we just didn't think it was that dark in there." He lightly poked the side of my head, leaning against the back of the couch beside me.

"It's been worse lately." I murmured, "I think it's because I'm always so tired, but it's the reason I'm so tired. I keep on waiting for things to change. To either get better, or get worse, but they never do. I don't think I've ever been too scared to have a bad night before."

"Scared?"

"All the time." I sighed, letting my backpack rest on the floor. Slouching a little in my exhaustion, "But it's the same feeling I had before. When I remembered.. Well, stuff I shouldn't. About the vision. I'm afraid, but I don't know the reason why yet. That's the part that bugs me the most. There's _some_thing I'm not getting."

It was another stand off that night between me and the pill, but it wasn't quite as hard to get passed my nervousness. The pill had been cut in half, so I could only hope it made a difference with my dreams.

I was allowed to sleep in the next morning, able to shake off the remnants of the pill myself, and by the time I came downstairs, it was already passed ten.

I sat down beside Emmett, yawning. He seemed distracted, but so was I. I could almost feel how close I was to figuring out what the dreams I couldn't remember held. I could almost see it, and that was a lot more than I could say the day before. It hurt to push, to try to move forward with it, but that didn't stop me from trying.

"Shorty," He spoke before I could ask him about it, shaking me out of my own thoughts, "Let me ask you something." I looked over at him, "What do you think about strangers?"

"Strangers?" I asked, confused.

"People you don't know."

"I hate them." I replied quietly, "You know that." That was an odd question coming from him.

"Good." He muttered, "Don't forget that." I frowned.

"Why?"

"I watched a movie last night that got me thinking about it." He answered, "That's all." I stayed quiet, laying back. He put his arm around me, hugging me into his side. I whined a little, looking up at him. What was his deal today? He hadn't pushed me yet. I'd been comfortable, but a little irritated now at the hug.

"As if she needed any help hating strangers, Emmett." Alice grumbled on her way through the room. I could smell Esme making me something to eat, but I knew it wasn't done yet. My stomach rumbled a little, and I laughed a little.

"Listen to me, shorty." Emmett's tone had me giving him full attention, "There are people out there you don't want to cross paths with."

"I know."

"They'll tell you anything to make you cooperate." He continued, his tone serious.

"Like Jack."

"Not at all like Jack." He corrected, "No. They won't be mean, or threaten you. These people will tell you anything, so they can steal you. Don't fall for it, shorty."

"Why?" I had to admit, I was getting nervous, "Why would they want to steal me?"

"Because they can." Was his reply, "And I don't want you to go missing. I like you right here."

"I'm not stupid." I reminded him. Was someone going to try to steal me?

"Even if these strangers seem nice." He was confusing the hell out of me, "Even if they seem important, or tell you they're from this place or that place, don't believe them, and definitely don't get into their car until you know for sure."

"I know that." I mumbled, "Emmett-"

"This isn't like Forks." He insisted, "This place is much bigger than back home, shorty. A lot of people come through here. They come, and they go just as quickly." I watched his expression, but it gave away no sign that he was joking.

"Even if they tell you they know me, or Carlisle, or anyone else you know." He added, "They'll tell you they're only doing us a favor, and taking you to us or something like that. Don't fall for it."

"How do I know if you know them or not?" I asked, "I don't know everybody you know."

"Good question." He said, "If you don't remember meeting them, or having one of us introduce them to you, then it's a good chance they're full of it." I frowned in thought, looking down, "I know I would never tell someone to go pluck you up just to bring you home. They could be the most important person in the world, don't trust them." He said, "If it doesn't sit right with you, run away." I nodded, taking a breath.

"No problem." I sat closer to him, nervous now.

That did make me curious, however.

Were there really people out there that would try to steal me? Besides Jack or Ken, I couldn't imagine anyone trying to pull that. I knew Jack, and I knew Ken. I knew to run away from them, but other people? Would I fall for it? Was I that stupid? And why would Emmett tell me this suddenly?

The schools were always bringing it up, about being careful of strangers, or people we didn't know. I never paid any attention to that, because I always, always thought that there would never be anybody worse than Jack, but I sure paid attention now.

"They think I'm being overprotective." He muttered, "But I just want you to be safe."

It seemed simple enough. Just ignore anybody I didn't know, but was that completely possible? I was wary of everybody I didn't know, but then again, all it took was someone seeming nice to get me to talk to them.

If someone were to make the effort to get me to talk to them, then it would be possible, and it really wouldn't take much. If everybody knew who Carlisle was back home, I'd imagine it was the same here. All they'd have to do was mention him, and they'd have my attention.

Then my thoughts moved on. What would happen if I did wind up going missing? Would my family be able to find me? Or would they have no clue where to look? Would they even want to try? Would they ever give up?

And if someone was okay with stealing kids, what would they want them for? Were there really worse people than Jack out there? Jack wouldn't steal kids, otherwise he would have already. He just tortured me. Everybody else, he left alone.

All these questions circled around in my head repeatedly, and it was all thanks to Emmett, and the one movie he watched the night before that got him thinking about it.

All I knew, was that I was both unnerved, and very curious.

**A/N: Woohoo! I'm a bit relieved this one is out of the way. Now we can start getting into the good parts. Yes, as you probably guessed it, Mikah is in the next chapter. I know you've been looking forward to seeing him again, and I can't blame you. :D  
THANK YOU! To those that left me some BEAUTIFUL reviews! You're AMAZING! **  
**Seven won't take long. :) I promise. It's just waiting on me to get some sleep for a final edit. **  
**Until Seven, my friends! :D**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

Emmett had to be lying. Pulling my leg. Just to see how gullible I was, or trying to scare me because of what day it was. That didn't seem odd for Emmett.

There couldn't be people out there that would just randomly steal a kid off the street. That was stupid, and it was stupid to almost believe him, but his distraction over it distracted me and the curiosity only grew.

I wasn't very talkative today, and neither was he. Whatever had gotten him thinking about something like this had obviously bothered him a lot.

Emmett disappeared upstairs to spend time with Rosalie sometime after four that afternoon, which had been happening more and more often, and Esme was busy looking over some pages of documents laid out across the table. I hadn't seen very much of Alice or Jasper lately, a passing here or there, but that didn't surprise me much. So there I was, left to entertain myself.

I didn't feel much like reading, this new mystery taking my thoughts for me, and the e-mail I sent to Josh only took a few minutes of my time.

The boys had been doing well. Same old, boring stuff happening there. Here I was, gone for over a month, and nothing had changed at all. I thought about trying to call him later, but decided against it. So for now, I decided on some fresh air to try to clear my head.

It had been awhile since I had been out in the back yard, and I knew that was perfect.

"Don't go far, Leandra." Esme murmured as soon as I opened the back door, not looking up from her documents.

"I won't." I replied, stepping outside. I made sure to close the door behind me, before turning to face the yard. The bright afternoon sunlight blinded me for a second, immediately warming me in a way I still wasn't used to. A breeze blew by, taking a few strands of my hair across my face.

This wasn't so bad, I figured. Outside, on my own.

I made my way from the back porch, to the wall and peered out across the park below. Not even knowing why, I climbed up and sitting on the wall. Taking my time. Inching closer and closer to hopping over it. My curiosity wouldn't be solved standing there doing nothing, and with it nagging at me all day, I wanted to solve it.

With that thought, I jumped to my feet. Off the wall, standing on the other side of it.

I slid a little on my way down the hill, landing on my butt for a brief moment before pushing myself back up and continuing on for the park. The late afternoon sunlight still warming my hair as the breeze took it slightly, I ducked under the small rope fence bordering the park, looking around the deserted area. My thin jacket was just enough to keep the chilly air from biting as I wandered further than I had before.

Passed the swings, and the play area. Further into the park, along the path, nervously looking around. I hadn't done this yet, wandering. I'd always been too nervous, too chicken to go far from my family's side, but now I was starting to see what Rosalie told me.

The world was bigger than staying home all the time.

This wasn't so bad, I thought again. As long as everyone else stayed away from me, I could handle this. I was getting a taste for freedom, and it didn't taste as bad as I thought it would.

Esme had told me not to go far, but part of me, a more adventurous part of me, wondered if she would even know if I did. Before I even knew what I was doing, I tested that. I'd made it to the other side, to the town side of the large park, and looked back. I couldn't even see the house anymore, the trees in the way.

One step, I told myself. I placed my foot on the concrete of the sidewalk outside the grassy park, smiling a little. Nothing bad happened. I wasn't killed, or set on fire. I was just standing on the sidewalk. Where the people were.

And I got walking.

This part of town was busier than I thought it'd be. The traffic in the street going by pretty fast, so I made sure to keep to the right side of the sidewalk as I walked up the street. I looked up and around as I walked, now and then glancing down to make sure I wasn't about to trip over something.

Wouldn't that be fitting, I thought. Tripping and dying my first attempt at wandering.

I came to the corner of the street, and slowed as I neared a group waiting to cross the street. I wasn't sure if I should go that far, but I moved as they moved, following them. Careful not to fall behind.

It was amazing to me. Out here, like this, I wasn't mad or scared. I wasn't mean. Out here, walking this way, I could almost pass as human. I never thought that was possible. Not ever. Why was that? Maybe because now, it was my choice? Curiosity had gotten the better of me, instead of being forced to face separation?

But the entire time, each step I took, I thought of how much further I was from the house. Any second now, I told myself, I'd give up, and I'd run home. Any second now.

After about ten minutes of walking like this, telling myself I'd run away any second, I still hadn't. I just kept moving. There were quite a few people along this stretch of sidewalk, but none of them were paying attention to me.

Some talking to whoever they were walking with, others ignoring everyone around them. Some looking straight ahead, and a few watching their feet or their phones.

I came across a small store. I wasn't even sure what made me curious about it, as I'd passed a few others like it. It sat on the corner of two busy streets, and it just seemed unique, so I decided to walk in. Drawn to the little building like that was where I was headed the whole time.

Pulling open the door, it jingled quietly and I glanced up at the small bell on the door. Smiling a little as I looked to the left. Finding the rows of shelves, holding products for sale. It was a convenience store. One of those places that sold everyday stuff someone might need. Along the back wall, was a row of five smaller, clear-doored refrigerators.

The only person in here aside from me, was the very bored-looking teenage cashier behind the short counter to my right. He seemed puzzled to see me, but not unfriendly. A magazine open on the counter in front of him.

I figured as long as I was here, I might as well get a bottle of water or something. I was pretty thirsty. I passed the fridges containing the milk, eggs, cheeses, and dips. Passed the ice cream and frozen dinners. I skipped all the energy drinks, fruit juices, and really sugary soda-type drinks, not in the mood for those.

On my way back toward the front with my chosen bottle of water freezing in my hand, I passed an aisle that did gain my interest, though. Stopping, I peered at it.

Every day, I was always given too much money for lunch. I had a lot left over at the end of every day, so I had a lot saved up. Grateful to have thought to stuff twenty bucks in my pocket before leaving the house, that opened a lot of opportunities to buy whatever I wanted from this aisle stocked full of candy.

So I stepped over, into the aisle and looked around.

I was never the type of kid to have a lot of experience when it came to candy, so this was a big decision, and I took my time. Picking something up, and putting it back, before picking something else up. I couldn't decide. There were so many choices.

"Need help?" I jumped at the voice of someone behind me. Turning sharply with a quiet yelp, I looked up and met the steely dark eyes of the bored-but-friendly cashier. I hadn't even noticed him move. I needed to pay more attention.

Up this close, he looked a little younger than I first thought. He was more tall than anything, but then again, practically everyone was taller than me. He wasn't quite scrawny, but lean. His longer, jet black hair fell almost untidily into his smiling eyes, but was still somehow swept back. It reminded me a lot of Zack's hair, but black instead of brown.

He laughed a little at my reaction, and spoke again, "Didn't mean to scare ya, kid. Was just asking, because you seem lost."

Shyly, I tucked my hair behind my ear. Just because it was in my eyes, and it was bugging me. Suddenly irritated at his interruption of my incredibly important decision making.

"No, thank you." I mumbled, scanning the shelves again, "I'm fine, and you didn't _scare_ me. You're just lucky I didn't kill you."

"Cute." He chuckled, finding that very amusing. I ignored that. What was it I was looking for? Making a quick decision, I chose a big bag of hard, fruity candy. Just to get out of there.

"Good choice." The boy said, following me back toward the register, "That it for you?"

"That's it." I answered quietly as he stepped around the counter. Giving me another smile as he scanned both items, "I wasn't going to steal anything."

"Oh, I know." He nodded, "Because I was watching you. Three bucks." I rolled my eyes a little bit, gave him the money with a sigh, "You know. Can't be too careful. Kids these days." I didn't bother replying, gazing at his name tag.

It wasn't a very common name, one I had never heard before.

He held out the bag of items, along with my receipt. I reached for the bag, but he paused, "What are you doing buying candy, kid? It's Halloween."

"So?" I asked quietly as he let me pull the bag to myself.

"So." He replied, "It's everybody else's job to buy candy for you."

"Maybe I just wanted to buy some of my own." I shrugged, "Don't they always tell you in school not to take candy from strangers? And going to their _house_ to do it? I thought that was a bad thing."

It was really no wonder why I was _so_ confused about all this stupid stranger stuff. They tell you one thing, but the same thing in a different setting and under different circumstances was okay? _What_ kind of ass-backwards world were all these people living in?

"You have.. Definitely got a point." He replied after a second of thought, "I've never thought of it like that before." He gave a quiet laugh, "Huh. Well, there you go. Your safe, stranger-free candy, madam." He smiled lightly, "Have a fantastic evening."

He could probably tell how much I didn't like him. Being honest with myself, it wasn't so much that I didn't like him. He just made me blush in a weird way, and I didn't like that.

"Thanks." I replied almost silently, "You too."

I scooted from the store, listening to the door jingle closed behind me. I stepped along the side of the building. Away from the door, but stopped a few steps from it. Wishing my heart would slow down.

I blamed it on being startled, and pulled out my bottle of water. I stood there for several minutes. Debating whether or not to go back in there and tell him off for scaring me or continuing to debate my point, but after enough time had passed, I knew it'd be stupid to do that.

I knew it'd be pointless to do that, but I was still tempted to go back in there. What possible reason did I have to want to go back in there? He hadn't been mean, I reasoned with myself. Why the hell would I want to go back?

I felt stupid anyway as just a few minutes after that, he stepped out. Distracted by locking the door behind him, he didn't notice me right away. I stood there, considering running off, but I waited, and he finally looked up. Given his expression, he had been slightly startled by someone standing there.

Ha, I thought bitterly. Now we're even.

"What are you still doing here?" He chuckled, recovering.

"Standing." I answered sarcastically, and he smirked, "Is it illegal to stand here?"

"Actually, it is." He replied, and I frowned at how serious he seemed. He pointed behind me, and I turned. Looking up the brick wall at a 'no loitering' sign on the side of the store. I assumed that meant no standing there, so I pointedly took a step to the side.

"Cute." He laughed, nodding, "Where are your parents?"

"At home, and at work." I replied honestly this time, and he looked around himself, dropping his keys into his pocket.

"Shouldn't you be with them?" He asked, "A kid like you running around town by yourself?" I raised an eyebrow.

"A kid like me?" I asked in return, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"What are you? Seven?" He asked, obviously entertained.

"Ten, thank you." I snapped.

"Oh," He laughed, "Ten. I'm sorry."

"You're sorry." I sniffed, "And you're an asshole." That really made him laugh, which only pissed me off even more.

I turned, fully intending to storm away. I only managed one step off the sidewalk, until he was suddenly yanking me back, out of the way of a car one split second away from hitting me. Once more managing to draw a yelp from me.

"Pay attention, kid." He told me, letting me struggle from his grip. I stood there, glaring up at him for a few seconds. Somehow outraged that he'd pull me anywhere, ignoring the fact that he'd only done it to keep me from certain death.

Surprised at my glare, he shook it off as he mockingly returned my glare, "You're welcome. Didn't your mom ever teach you not to give looks like that?"

"No." I muttered, finally glaring away from him. He chuckled, sighing.

"Alright." He said, lightly leading me forward the way I'd been going before almost dying by car, "Come on." I followed him, not even sure why. He crossed the street with me, walking with me. I wasn't sure where he'd been going before he found me standing there, but I was almost positive it hadn't been this direction.

The daylight had faded significantly while I stood wasted time, and the streetlights had come on while we were talking, just after dark now. We walked in silence for several minutes, and now and then I glanced up at him. I couldn't help it. I just wanted to keep looking at him.

He took me off guard, and unsettled me at the same time. Seeing him something of a surprise. Was that familiarity I felt? Did I know him too? Maybe I just recognized him from somewhere, but that was incredibly doubtful, considering the only place I'd been besides home was school. He sure didn't look the right age to be attending elementary school.

I suddenly recalled exactly why I was out here in the first place. What Emmett had talked to me about just a few hours earlier, and the curiosity that resulted. This boy had been the only person to even notice I was alive, so Emmett had been wrong. Unless this boy was trying to steal me? I doubted that too, but I was suspicious. I narrowed my eyes, suddenly on my toes. I was on to him.

"What's your name?" He asked me eventually, "And where do you live?"

"My name is a word that everybody calls me." I answered, knowing full well I was being a smart-ass. He accepted that with a light chuckle, "And I live behind the park."

"You live in the park?" He asked incredulously, "This park?" He gestured to the park I'd stopped outside of. Stopping with me, he looked down at me. Had we really walked that far? Already? I regretted that, surprisingly.

"Behind the park." I clarified, "Pay attention. Do I look like I live _in_ a park?"

"And you were going to walk through there alone?" He asked me, still in the same incredulous tone. I shrugged a little.

"Why not?" I asked, "I'm not scared of it."

"Boy, you are something." He smirked at my stiff tone, "You really don't get out much, do you? No street-smarts whatsoever."

"Hey." I found that offensive.

He laughed, "Come on." Was he really going to walk me through the park? He didn't even know my name, and somehow, me walking alone bothered him. Then again, this could have been all a trick. He stepped forward, but I stayed put. Narrowing my eyes and crossing my arms. He looked back at me, "What?"

"What's your angle?" I asked, pointing a little at him, and oddly enough, his laughter made me laugh. It was contagious.

"Okay," He said, returning to my side, "You've got a point, but how do you expect to get home? I'm not about to let you walk through there alone. Not at this time of evening, and definitely not tonight of all nights."

"I'm not scared." I repeated, but he did have a point. It was kind of dark in that direction, and only getting darker.

I didn't have long to debate, however.

"Leandra." I turned, looking behind me at Jasper's call, spotting both him and Emmett striding over from in the park. Since it was after dark, they were free to come hunt me down the second I was discovered missing. Oops.

"Uh." I looked back up at the boy, "I gotta go."

I turned, running off to meet them. Confused, he watched me pass him.

"Hey, wait a minute." He called after me, and I knew he was following.

I met Jasper and Emmett quite a distance away, grabbing onto each of their wrists and tugging back the other direction. Toward home.

"Who is that?" Emmett demanded, not budging. Watching as the boy headed this way.

"Nobody." I muttered innocently, "Let's go home-" I squeaked as Emmett lifted me easily, and started forward, toward the boy heading our direction.

"Hey." Emmett called, and the boy smiled a little, "A word?"

"Leave it alone." I muttered to him.

"Sure." The boy replied once they met, "A word. You should probably keep tabs on her." The boy gathered that I obviously knew both of these guys, probably by the way I wasn't screaming my head off, so he knew it was okay to address the issue. Right here. Now. Not at all intimidated by Emmett's size.

"Really?" Emmett asked in return, slightly amused, "Any particular reason why? Or just in general?" He looked to me now.

"At very least, teach her when it's safe to cross a street. Had I not been there, she'd have been roadkill."

"Had you not been there, I wouldn't have been pissed off like that." I countered, and he smirked. I looked down, though, as both Emmett and Jasper's eyes landed on me.

The boy continued, "I couldn't just let her walk back alone, so I walked with her this far."

"That true, shorty?" Emmett asked, and sheepishly, I nodded.

"Well, thank you." Jasper told him now, "For keeping an eye on her. She wasn't supposed to leave the yard." I heard the quiet scold in his voice, wincing slightly.

"Ah, an escapee." The boy chuckled, "I know that move well. I've got a little sister just like her at home, and let me tell you. That never gets old for them. My suggestion, a leash. That'd do wonders." I knew he was joking. I wasn't sure how I knew that, but I just knew, "Well, she's fine. Don't worry about a thing."

"Thank you again." Jasper nodded, but his eyes were on me.

"Not a problem." The boy smiled, "Have a good night, Leandra." I smiled as he said that, and he chuckled. Turning to leave again.

"Hey, wait." I called, and he turned once more, "What's your name?" I read it before, but I wasn't sure how to pronounce it.

"My name is a word that everybody calls me." He told me, and I glared a little. He returned my glare lightly, before chuckling, "Keep making that face, it'll get stuck like that." My glare instantly left my face, "That's better. You look a lot friendlier when you smile. Smile, princess." He gave me another smile, and I had to do as he requested, and return it.

He laughed a little and he continued on. Emmett sighed and turned, heading back toward home. I watched after the boy, though. What was it about him that made it so hard to breathe?

"He's too old for you." Jasper murmured, taking my attention.

"What?" I asked, surprised. What an odd thing to say.

"You heard me." Was his only reply, a tiny smirk on his face.

"When I can still hold you in one arm, he's too old for you." Emmett had caught on.

"Too old for me for what?" I was honestly confused. He shook his head, both of them refusing to explain. I looked back again, but couldn't see the boy anymore. I sighed, "And you can probably hold three of me in one arm, Emmett. Four, if you find room."

He chuckled, "That's my point." Jasper only shook his head as well.

Crossing the park, I was suddenly deeply glad I wasn't trying this alone. I could barely see around me, and like clockwork, the darkness decided to make me quite nervous. I could just ball my hand in Emmett's sweater, and barely focus on not freaking out. The earlier light mood squashed flat by the weight of the dark.

"You're nervous?" Jasper had noticed.

"It doesn't matter where the dark is." I admitted quietly.

"Trust me, shorty." Emmett told me, "You've got nothing to worry about. I'm scarier than anything you're going to find around here. I actually dare someone to try something. They would _instantly_ regret that decision."

That didn't help much. I still found it tough to find my next breath. My breathing tighter in borderline panic. The darker it got, the worse it got, and we weren't even halfway through the park yet.

"Close your eyes." Emmett told me, and I knew why. Complying immediately, I felt almost no difference, but a second or two later, I was being lifted up and dropped over the wall. Safely back in the back yard. I breathed a sigh, relieved at the sight around me.

"You know we shouldn't do that." Jasper was suddenly beside me.

"Oh, come on." Emmett hopped over the wall himself. First jumping up onto it, and slowly stepping off of it to land beside me. He chuckled, "I wasn't going to torture shorty like that when the place was deserted. She hates the dark, so why make her stay in the dark?"

Jasper sighed, allowing that with a light nod and letting it go. He led the way forward, and I followed him. Emmett following me.

"Brace yourself." Jasper finally spoke again, opening the door for me. A little puzzled, I stepped inside. I was lifted up again off my feet, hugged tightly before I was even two steps inside the door. I squeaked in surprise, but recognized Esme's arms holding me, so I returned it.

"Do you have any idea how worried I've been?" She asked, pulling back and looking at me. I blinked in surprise, caught so far off guard, I didn't know how to get back to it. She turned, carrying me further into the kitchen.

"I was coming back." I replied defensively.

"She's fine." Emmett assured her as he closed the door behind himself, "She just went wandering a little too far."

"Leandra," Esme gasped, "You can't do that. You can't just wander off like that. Especially when I tell you to stay close." I'd known she probably wouldn't approve of me wandering off, but I didn't know she'd worry that much.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled, still surprised, "I'm fine." Wasn't me getting out on my own something she wanted? I was even more confused.

"I'm off." Jasper sighed, "I'll be home later." He started from the room. Pointing to me briefly on his way by, he spoke again, "He's still too old for you."

"Stop saying that." I called back, annoyed, "I don't even know what it means." I could just barely hear his chuckle.

"What was that?" Esme asked, watching as I sat down with a sigh. Placing my bag on the table in front of me.

"Nothing." I mumbled, pulling out the bag of candy I bought. I felt watched, awkwardly laying my arms on the table in front of me, "I think a mosquito bit me." I scratched lightly at the small pink bump on the back of my wrist.

"Changing the subject, shorty?" Emmett asked, and I looked up.

"Yes." I answered honestly.

Emmett shook his head, leaving the room with a laugh as well. Esme sighed, probably calming down now that I was seated in front of her as I opened the bag of candy, pulling out a piece.

"Not too much before dinner." She said, gesturing to the bag and I nodded, "At very least, please tell me where you're going next time."

"I'm sorry." I mumbled, "I wasn't planning on leaving." Lie.

"Am I still overprotective?" Emmett called from the living room.

"I didn't go that far." I continued, ignoring him, "I'll be careful." She sighed, giving me a look but I knew she wasn't mad at me, because I offered a sheepish smile, and she returned it. Leaning down, she briefly kissed my forehead.

"Don't scare us like that." I knew then she'd let it go. Alice joined us in the kitchen as Esme moved, starting to put dinner together for me. I watched her for a moment, Alice finding the seat beside me. I felt like I hadn't really seen her in days.

"Esme?" I asked hesitantly, and she looked back, "I know it's probably stupid to ask this right now. I wanna let her know tomorrow, but.. Um.. Can Alyssa come over this weekend?"

She sighed, as if this was a really tough decision.

"For the afternoon, or is she staying the night?" I smiled a little.

"The night?" I asked hesitantly, hopeful.

"I'll think about it." She was trying so hard to stay mad. I laughed a little, looking over at Alice beside me. She gave me a small smile. I knew what that would mean for them, but acting human for a night wouldn't kill them. They'd have to pretend to sleep, but I was sure they could use the break too.

I got my yes that night during the stand-off with the pill. Despite seeing what it could do for me, I still hated having to take it. Esme was attempting to distract me from the nervousness, and it did work to a point. At least enough to pick it up, but I hesitated in actually taking it.

"Just for tonight." She assured me, "Tomorrow night, you can try sleeping without it again if you want to."

"I hate it." I whimpered, "It makes me sleep, but I hate it."

"I know, honey." She replied sadly.

"Can't I skip it for tonight?" I asked, unsure.

"Just one more night." She insisted gently, and I sighed. Looking at the tiny half pill sitting in my hand. Giving in seconds later, and taking it.

"Leave the light on." I requested as I laid down, "Please?" Somehow, I expected myself to know if it was turned off, though I had no idea if the lamp had remained on the last two nights. I could see that my intense dislike of the dark concerned her, but she never commented on it.

I had yet to test the nightlight on my own yet. I wasn't brave enough.

"I will." She replied, bringing the blanket over me.

I laid there silently this time, waiting for my eyes to get too heavy. Esme stayed with me, despite me not having to ask her to. Holding my hand lightly, smoothing her thumb over my fingers holding her hand in return.

How could I still be nervous about this? I knew for a fact that there was no possible way I could be any safer than I was right there. Maybe because when I slept, I wasn't there anymore. I was stuck too far in my head, and thanks to the pill, I didn't have a way to wake up. It felt like I was leaving when I slept. I wasn't safe anymore when I slept. Forcing me to sleep wasn't helping that.

Shortly after the third deep yawn, my eyes closed on their own.

I didn't see Esme again until she was helping me wake up in the morning. It was difficult, just like both of the times before, but I couldn't sleep in until almost noon again, so naturally, I was pretty emotional. Stuck in that place between heavy sleep, and forcing myself to wake up. It felt stronger today, somehow.

She managed to get me out of bed, and downstairs, but I snoozed while she made breakfast. Half laid over the table, my head rested in my folded arm.

I recalled dreaming about the darkness again, but nothing about it. I still couldn't see what was inside it. Something I wasn't letting myself see. I wasn't any closer to figuring it out than I was before, so that was pretty frustrating.

"Wow." Emmett had found us, "Is that normal?" I opened my eyes, looking up at him. Oddly enough, Jasper and Alice followed him into the kitchen. Not having seen me fighting the pill before, it didn't surprise me that they were surprised.

"She'll feel better once she's eaten." Esme assured him, "Eating will help her shake it off." Until then, I let my eyes rest closed. My breathing sleepy shallow as I sensed the seat beside me becoming occupied. One blinking glance told me it was Alice.

"No wonder she hates it." Emmett muttered, sitting across from me, "I can't blame her."

"Is that really necessary to help her sleep?" Jasper asked, "She seems more tired than she was before she started this."

"It was a last resort." Esme sighed, putting an end to their concern.

Sure enough, just like the first morning, I started to wake up a little more as I ate, but it was harder this morning. I could keep my eyes open, at least.

"Did I dream that you said yes?" I asked Esme, and she smiled a little.

"No, honey." She replied, "You weren't dreaming. You can bring her over this weekend." I smiled a little, nodding, "Friday would probably work best. Jasper has class that night, so he'll be gone until eleven."

"That'll work." Jasper agreed.

"She just has to ask her parents." I mumbled through a yawn.

It didn't take long to find Alyssa the minute I got to school, standing there with her little brother outside the open gate, leading into the school. She always waited for me, so we could follow each other around.

She saw me coming, and she smiled.

"You should have come to school yesterday." She told me as I made it to her side, "Do you know how many kids barfed? It was awesome."

"They said yes. You can come over this Friday." I told her, and immediately she squeaked in happiness, hugging me, "Now you just have to ask your parents. They wouldn't have to take you, because I get picked up from school anyway, so you can just get a ride with me."

"That'd help." She nodded, "I'll ask my dad tonight."

She couldn't ask until that night, and I hadn't thought to get her phone number, so all Wednesday night I was bugged by it.

Sleeping Wednesday night without the pill was a disaster. Not because of dreams, for once, but I knew they'd have been there if I could fall asleep at all, and that worried Carlisle about dependence. I was up, wide awake pretty much all night.

Thursday, Alyssa told me that she'd gotten permission.

I didn't know why I looked forward to this so much, even despite my nighttime problems, but I did. I couldn't wait. Even if she did annoy me with her stupid crush, I didn't care. Even Josh and Zack had never stayed the night at my house before.

Thursday night went about the same as Wednesday night went, sleepless and restless. I did get a few hours of sleep, though, before forcing myself awake in a sobbing panic. It was better than the one or two hours I'd been getting before, but sliding right back into the same routine I'd been in before wasn't a good thing, either.

Friday afternoon took forever to get there, and I was surprised that it was Carlisle to pick us up. He'd been so busy lately. Instead of the front seat, I climbed into the back seat with her. Once I introduced them, she greeted Carlisle politely, thanking him for allowing her to come over. She might have been a weirdo, but she knew how to make a good impression.

She seemed intimidated by the size of the house at first, though. Standing outside of it, clutching her backpack to her as I climbed out behind her. In her backpack was a set of pajamas and extra jeans. She'd brought them to school, just because it was easier that way.

"It's okay." I told her, laughing a little, "Come on."

"How big did you say your family was?" She whimpered behind me as I led her to the door.

"About as big as your family." I replied, pushing the door open.

The introductions inside went well, and that made it better. Having Alice and Esme there seemed to helped her breathe while seeing Emmett again, and meeting Jasper. Like some sort of balance. Rose was her intimidating self, but I told her before we even got there not to mind her.

Esme seemed only too pleased to meet her. It was borderline embarrassing, but I knew better. The fact that she approved of Alyssa made me happy.

I led her upstairs to my room, and she looked around. Her eyes wide.

"This is your room?"

"Yup." I replied, setting my bag down, "You can put your stuff anywhere." She slowly, almost uncertainly laid her backpack down beside the dresser, "What's wrong?"

"I've never seen a room this big before." She replied, and I smiled a little, sitting down on my bed, "You never talk about your house, so I definitely wasn't expecting this. So.. This is your room?" I gave her a look, "Like.. Where you sleep and stuff?"

"That's.." I hesitated, "What a bedroom is for, isn't it? Sleeping?"

"Are you sure this isn't.. I don't know, a museum or something?"

"Pretty sure." I replied. This was getting funny.

"You even have your own bathroom?" She sounded oddly like I'd just killed her pet gerbil as she spotted the bathroom door.

"I'm sorry?" I offered, hoping an apology would be what she was looking for.

"That's it." She said, "I'm moving in." I laughed.

"I wouldn't mind. It gets lonely sometimes." I admitted quietly, hoping that made it less amazing. It seemed to as she gave another glance around the room.

"I bet." She nodded a little. Her pointed laugh had me look to her again. She pointed to the stuffed turtle sitting on my dresser.

"Yeah." I laughed, "That's him." I was surprised she even remembered the story about that thing.

"He's famous." She said, picking it up.

"Just with you." I replied, "You should feel lucky you get to meet him."

"You don't have any brothers or sisters your age, huh?" She asked, coming over. She tossed the turtle to me lightly.

"Nope." I said, "It's just me." I caught the turtle easily, petting its fluffy shell.

"Just you?" She found that funny, "Don't you ever get bored?"

"Not really." I said, "Emmett keeps me company when I let him. He's like a big kid. Alice does too, but Emmett doesn't insist on fixing my hair or making me go shopping. I swear, I tripled the amount of clothes I had in the first two weeks of summer."

Her eyes widened.

"Hey, if anything in that closet there fits you, take it. Please." I thought Alice would appreciate that, "Especially the dresses. I'll pay you to take those. I have some money saved, and it's yours if you just take them."

"I hate dresses." We both said that at the same time, causing us both to laugh.

"I'll look later." She laughed, but she did seem interested. I wouldn't mind her taking some stuff home with her if the clothes got some use.

"Okay." I replied, "Alice loves shopping. Me, not so much. You're lucky you don't have an older sister."

"What are you talking about?" She laughed, "I'd love to have an older sister. You don't even know how many times I've wished Sammy's thingy would fall off." I assumed Sammy was the name of one of her older brothers. I cringed, but laughed.

"Ew." I muttered.

"It's true." She shrugged. This conversation was getting weird.

"I don't think he'd like that very much." I pointed out.

"Probably not."

"And brothers are just as fun." I shrugged, "At least Emmett is, but then again, I'm not really a girly-girl."

"Neither am I, but it'd still be nice." She flopped back, with a sigh, "Me and Emily are pretty outnumbered over there, and she's not much company."

"What about your mom?" I asked, "She has to count for something, right?" She laughed, but the sound was humorless. Sensitive subject, obviously.

We were quiet for a second, until she rolled over onto her side and propped her head up on her elbow, "So you're telling me that even though you're not related to them, you don't think they're even a little cute?" Oh, the discussion was going to go in this direction.

"Stop it." I rolled my eyes and she laughed. If she only knew they could hear her every word if they wanted to. If she knew, she'd shut up pronto. No doubt about that.

"Not even a little?" She held her fingers up, and I laughed a little at her expression.

"No." I said, "Not even a little. That's gross."

"Okay, so not them, but isn't there anyone you've got a crush on?" She asked, letting her hand drop.

"Nope." I mumbled, and she laid back down.

"Not even Alex?" The thought alone was enough to make me cringe.

"No." I told her, disgust in my tone, "Ew."

"I can't blame you, I guess." She laughed, "What about.. Justin? You know, that brown haired kid in our class? He's always looking at you. I think he likes you."

"Nope."

"Tommy?"

"Nuh-uh." I shook my head.

"Ethan?" She asked, "Even I like him a little."

"Nope."

"Come on." She whined, "Even my little sister gets crushes."

"She's five." I muttered, surprised.

"She still does." She countered, "It's funny to hear how much she loves some boy in her class. Different one every day, I swear."

"That's weird." I commented, shaking my head.

"Is there something wrong with you?" She poked my head, and I swatted at her hand, "Maybe you're broken."

"I know I am." I told her, "Doesn't mean I have to like somebody."

"I'll fix you one of these days." She glared a little, and I sighed, flopping a pillow over her head. She laughed, grabbing it, "No fair."

She was quiet for a second as she studied me.

"Maybe you just don't like boys?" She suggested, and that confused me.

"Huh?" I asked, "What do you-"

"Nothing wrong if you like girls." She shrugged, and I about died where I sat, "Jamie likes girls. She told me awhile ago." The embarrassment scorched my cheeks. She really thought that?

I knew the girl she was talking about. Jamie was actually one of the nicest people in class. Not just to a few certain people, like everyone else. She was nice to everyone, and everyone liked her.

"No." I said, stunned, "No, no. That's not it." I didn't have anything against Jamie or anyone else who liked girls the way Alyssa was meaning, but I wasn't one of them. I sat there for a moment, "Jamie likes girls?" That thought blew my mind. I had no idea.

"Yup." She confirmed, "And I think you'd know if you did too."

"How do you know?" I wondered.

"The way she explained it to me," She muttered, sitting up, "Is she feels the same way about girls as other girls feel about boys. It just happens."

"Oh." I replied, and I shook my head, "No, that's not it."

"Okay, so that's not it." She mused.

"I just don't like anyone." I muttered, "What's so wrong with that?"

"Nothing, I guess." She replied, "Maybe you just haven't met the right kind of boy? Maybe you're picky."

"Sure." I mumbled, "That's definitely it."

"What kind of boys do you like?" She asked, and I shrugged a little.

"I don't know." I sighed, slightly irritated, "Aren't they all the same? Boys are just boys." This conversation had taken a very weird turn.

"Nope. Not even close." She said immediately. She sighed a laugh, "You have a lot to learn, my friend. And I'm gonna teach you."

"You really don't have to." I said, standing up.

"Yeah, I do." She replied incredulously, "You can't go your whole life without liking somebody. The world would blow up."

"So who do you like, then?" I turned it around on her, and she grinned. She obviously had someone in mind, but I quickly caught on. "No. Never mind, don't tell me. I don't wanna know."

She laughed, knowing what I meant, "No." She found that very amusing, given the way she couldn't breathe. Finally, she gathered herself, "No. You know Ryan? He's in Mrs. Elder's class." The fifth grade class in the classroom next to ours.

"Um.." I frowned, thinking, "That short kid with the light brown hair? Freckles everywhere?"

"No, that's Brian." She shook her head, "I'll show him to you on Monday." I nodded a little.

"There's Victor." She mused, "I like him too, but not as much as Ryan." Victor was in our class, so I knew him. He sat in the seat in front of her, so she lucked out there.

"You like two boys?" I asked.

"You can like more than one." She defended herself with a laugh, "It's only bad if you already have a boyfriend."

"You can't have a boyfriend." I frowned.

"Shianne has a boyfriend." She countered, "Daniel. They're always together."

I scoffed, "Right."

"I want a boyfriend." She sighed, and I couldn't help noticing that she spoke about wanting a boyfriend the way most kids wanted a puppy.

"I don't." I muttered.

"Why not?" She asked, "Well, I guess it's different if you don't like anybody, but you'd want one too if you did."

"No I wouldn't." I replied, "That's just weird."

Finally moving from where I stood and stepping across the room, I remembered my candy supply was horribly depleted. The bottom right drawer of my dresser held my candy stash, but I knew I'd have to get more if I was going to survive the night.

I pursed my lips, and thought about the boy at the store I met earlier in the week. I frowned a little, looking back at Alyssa.

"What?" She asked, thinking something was wrong.

"You wanna see if we can go for a walk?" I asked, and she smiled.

"Sure."

Esme was hesitant, as the afternoon was still bright.

"We'll go there, and come right back. I know right where it's at." I didn't want to mention that there were other stores like it closer. I had no doubt they knew, but they didn't say anything. I only wanted to go see that boy. I wanted to show him to Alyssa, just so I knew I wasn't crazy.

I couldn't deny it, though. They looked alike. Their black hair, and though his eyes, from what I remembered, were a little darker than hers, I could recall a big similarity. A very big similarity.

With an eventual okay, and a stern warning to stay together, we left. Leaving through the back door, we climbed over the wall. Her eyes lit up as she saw the steep grassy hill.

"Wait." She said as I went to start my way down, "Like this."

I watched, confused as she laid down flat on her back on the grass, and tucked her arms to her chest. I watched her roll, gaining speed as she quickly tumbled down the hill like a barrel, until she slowed as the ground evened out.

I was tempted to try it, but I was too scared, so I followed her at a much slower pace. Letting her dizziness fade by the time I got to her at the bottom of the hill, right outside the park.

"You're crazy." I laughed, helping her to her feet. She just laughed, brushing off her clothes. Bits of drying grass stuck to her shirt and jeans, but she had a bunch in her hair. I laughed again, plucking a few pieces from her hair, and she got the hint. Shaking her hair out.

"You have to try that sometime." She told me, grinning, "You live on such a great hill."

"I know." I laughed a little as we started through the park. My smile slowly faded, and I thought. Curious, I spoke again, "Tell me about your family."

She frowned a little, "What do you want to know? You already know that I have four brothers, and one sister." She answered, and I nodded a little.

"Real, or adopted?"

"All real." She said, looking around. Meaning, biological.

"Do you live in a huge house?" I had to ask.

"Not really." She shook her head, "No, my daddy's job don't let him afford much, but that's okay. Mama works too, but she's always gone. Emily and me share a room with one of the boys, just for more space for the other boys in the other room. There's only three bedrooms, and ours is the smallest." I frowned.

"Wow." I murmured, "That must really suck." Now I knew why she was so amazed by where I lived, and my bedroom.

"Nah." She said, "We're all pretty close. The the oldest out of all of us, he's almost eighteen, and he dropped out of school so he could work with daddy at his job." I listened, intently interested, watching as she smiled, "The second oldest of us is my favorite. He's sixteen. He sort of watches out for all of us. Takes care of us, and he makes sure we know it. He works too, but he still goes to school. The third oldest, he's only thirteen, but he's already following daddy around like he's trying to prove something. I just know he's gonna be another Jonathan." That must have been her oldest brother, considering how that seemed to bother her, "Then there's me. You know Alex, and Emily is five."

"What's it like being an older sister?"

"It's tough." She nodded a little, "I mean, there isn't a lot I get to do at home, because there are others even older than me, and they're sort of boss." I nodded in understanding, "But there are some things I can do. I smack the younger ones around sometimes, and stick up for them at school. We fight sometimes, but we're always together."

She seemed happy to be able to talk about this. Like she never got enough attention from anybody. This was the most I'd ever gotten out of her regarding her family, though. Normally she carefully avoided the subject, but something about being here must have helped that.

"Just.." I paused, "Curious, what are your brother's names?"

"Why?" She asked, laughing a little.

"Just curious." I repeated, "I want to know."

We had crossed the park in no time it seemed, and we'd started up the street. Crossing with everybody else, she finally looked up and around.

"Wait." She mumbled instead of answering, "I know where we are." I looked over at her, "I didn't notice it before, but yeah. I know right where we are, and if I'm right," She grew the widest grin I think I'd ever seen her have, "He'll be there."

"Who?" I asked, and she laughed.

"My brother." She said, "I want you to meet him." Could this be the same guy? I almost stopped walking as she led the way now, straight for the store I'd been in a week ago. Had I been right?

I wasn't so sure now, but seeing me slow down, she just took my arm and led me forward. She never lost her grin, pulling open the door for me and practically shoving me through it. Following me closely enough to keep pushing me forward. The door jingling, irritated, as she struggled through it behind me

Looking around, I spotted the boy I'd run into at the start of the week. He seemed so surprised to see us.

"Alyssa?" It was definitely him, "What are you doing here?"

"This is your brother?" I asked her, and she grinned. Ignoring my question.

"Remember my friend from school?" She asked the boy, smiling over at me.

"This is her?" He laughed, "Well, small world. Nice to see you again, Leandra."

"She blushes!" Alyssa laughed as well, and I rolled my eyes. Turning to step into the candy aisle. Listening to her talk to him behind me, "I've never seen her blush before."

"No, I don't." I corrected sharply.

"You blushed last time too." He told me, and I scoffed. I was still trying to get used to the idea. This was her brother. Why was that so hard to believe? Maybe because I knew her long before I met him? That didn't make it seem so weird.

"Leandra, this is Mikah." Alyssa finally said with a quiet giggle, "My brother."

"I'm still not going to steal anything." I grumbled, and I knew he heard me, "Alyssa, what kind do you want?" She jogged over to my side, "Any kind."

"Hmm." She scanned the shelves, unable to really decide like I'd been undecided the other day.

"This one." She suddenly said, grabbing a bag at the same time. I laughed a little at her enthusiasm, and nodded. Grabbing something else, I walked over to the register with her.

"Oh, nice." Mikah chuckled, "Get her all hopped up on sugar, and send her back?"

"I'm not worried." I replied.

"You should be." He shook his head a little but didn't seem too worried himself.

We actually wound up staying for a few minutes. I was trying so hard to figure this out, but though I never had any sort of familiarity with Alyssa, I definitely felt it with Mikah. Mikah. That was his name.

I leaned on the counter, as Alyssa sat on it. Since there weren't any other customers, we could do that. I tried to be discreet about how I studied him, but a few times he caught me, and I had to look down.

"Hey." Alyssa suddenly perked up, "Wanna see my house, Leandra? It's like four blocks-"

"No, Aly." Mikah spoke up, "Dad's there." And that suddenly smashed her enthusiasm. She grew worried, which worried me.

"Who's watching Em?" She asked.

"She'll be alright." He told her, "Don't worry so much about her. Just have fun tonight, okay? I'll get home after seven. Like I usually do."

"But seven is still like three hours away."

"She'll be alright." He repeated, "You're too young to be such a mom."

"Then you're too young to be such a dad." She countered.

"Not true." He replied, "I was six when your butt was born. That makes me boss of you."

"Uh-huh." She rolled her eyes, "Yeah, yeah."

"Let me do my job." He chuckled, lightly pushing her off the counter. She hopped to her feet.

"You can't be a mom and a dad." She countered, and he smiled, "I get to be the mom. That's how it works."

"Not for tonight, you don't." He told her, "Now you guys better scoot before it gets dark. I don't want that big brother beating me down."

"Emmett's nice." Alyssa told him before I could, "Isn't he?"

I nodded, "All I'd have to tell him is that you're her brother, and he'd calm down. Maybe." I added that last word on, hoping to scare him a little. From his expression, it worked.

"Come on." I urged Alyssa, and she sighed heavily. I took the bag in my hand and led her from the store.

"See you tomorrow, guys." Mikah called after us, and I glanced back. One last look, before following Alyssa outside. Her knowing smile over at me made me uncomfortable.

"What?" I asked, nervous.

"You like my brother." She pointed out, and I immediately shook my head, "Oh, don't deny it. You look at him like I look at Ryan." She started off back in the direction of the park, but I waited. She looked back at me, frowning a little in confusion.

"Let's go check on her." I suggested, and she jumped at the mention. Following the sidewalk up the street. I knew I'd get into trouble, but I wanted to ease her worries.

It didn't take long to get to her house from the store, easily within walking distance. She'd lived so close, and I didn't even know it.

She lived on a street with each side packed with what looked like different colored brick townhouses. Thin, compact two story houses squeezed together, and what looked like a larger apartment building down at the other end of the dead-end street, made from the same brick as these buildings were.

She led me to the right one, and up the three front steps from the sidewalk. Up the walk, and up the three more steps onto the porch. Nervously, I followed. She seemed nervous too, giving me a look that told me so, before pushing open the door.

Immediately, I heard the sound of kids arguing to the left of the entryway. Straight ahead of us as we walked in were the stairs, and a thin hallway to the left of the stairs that led to the back of the house. My first thought of the place was cramped. Crowded, and I hadn't even left the front door yet.

She turned, letting me in the door and closed it behind me.

"Come on." She muttered quietly, leading me to the left. Through a wide open doorway, was the living room. Crowded with only a few pieces of furniture, and a small TV turned on in the corner.

Alex stood there arguing with a tiny girl. This must be Emily. I'd never met her, despite going to the same school as all of them. Apparently, by the sounds of their arguing, Alex was stupid and Emily was a moron.

"Knock it off." Alyssa's voice took their attention instantly, and Emily grinned. Alyssa hugged onto her as Emily crossed the room, coming to her side, "Are you doing alright?"

"Why do you always ask me that?" Emily rolled her eyes, "I'm tough, remember?"

"So tough." Alyssa replied sarcastically, "Emily, this is Leandra. My friend I told you about." She smiled up at me in greeting, as if nothing in the world was wrong. I smiled back a little, hoping she kept her distance.

I was seeing plenty of things wrong here. The place was practically falling apart. It looked so sad. It reminded me a lot of the trailer I grew up in, but that was only me living there. Well, me, Jack, and my mom. I couldn't imagine five others there with me.

"Dad yelled at her earlier." Alex reported, sighing, "Wasn't that bad, and she deserved it." That took my full attention, and I looked to Alyssa. I was standing back, observing the way I usually did. Compiling a list of questions in my head that I'd ask her later.

"He upstairs?" Alyssa asked, glancing up as if she could see through the floor. Seeing Alyssa standing there, hugging Emily tight to her made me sad. I didn't understand why.

"No, he's out back with Sammy." Alex replied, "Off early, you know how it goes." Alyssa sighed, nodding, "Aren't you 'sposed to be gone for the night?"

"I had to check on you guys." She said, "Somebody's gotta, and Mikah's working until seven."

"Jon's out at work, too." Alex said, and she nodded.

"I knew that, stupid. Mom's still gone too, isn't she?" Alex nodded, answering her.

"When isn't she?" He asked in return, "I'll look out for Em. You two better go before he comes back in and finds out you're here. He'll be pissed."

"Okay." She sighed, kissing Emily on the top of her head, "Be nice to each other. Watch a movie or something. Don't stay up too late. Bed before ten."

"Yeah, yeah." Alex sighed, pulling Emily away from Alyssa's side.

"I mean it." She said, "Or you two will sleep all day tomorrow. And take a bath, because you smell like butt."

"What are shadows made out of?" Emily suddenly asked, and for a second, I was thrown off. How the hell did she come up with that question?

"Shadows are made of all the bad things you've ever done in your life." Alex answered, sitting down on the couch, "The more bad things you do, the darker and meaner your shadow gets, and if you do too many bad things, it'll eat you when you're sleeping."

The look on her face was priceless. I had to cover my mouth with both hands to keep from laughing out loud, but I doubt it would have mattered much because she started openly bawling seconds later.

"Alex, you buttface." Alyssa snapped, "Why'd you tell her that?" I was about to suffocate in my effort to keep from laughing, but it was useless.

"That was the best answer I've ever heard." I had to hand it to him, and he grinned at me.

"He was kidding, Em." Alyssa told her, "Don't listen to him. He made that up." She was terrified, which only made it funnier. That was the funniest thing since the turtle, and even slightly funnier.

"All she's gotta do is always do good things." Alex added over her crying, "And she'll be fine. Doing good things makes the shadow happy."

"Then you'd be so screwed." I gasped through laughter, which he joined in.

"Yeah." Alyssa said, looking to Emily, "If that was true, Alex would have been a goner a long time ago."

"What the hell did you do to her?" I looked over, finding an older boy. He reminded me a lot of Josh, maybe slightly taller. Given his approximate age, this was Sammy. The dark gray sleeveless shirt he wore looked to be one that used to have sleeves, but they'd been cut off at the shoulder. Not much older than us, but definitely a few inches taller.

"Hit Alex for me." Alyssa sighed, "We have to go."

"Who's your friend?" He asked, looking me over.

"Leandra, this is Sammy." I'd been right, "Sammy, this is Leandra. Now can we go?"

"Sure." Sammy muttered, prying loose Emily's grip from around her stomach, "Get out of here. Dad's coming in in a minute."

"Don't listen to Alex." Alyssa told Emily before we quickly scrambled for the door. Her grip on the sleeve of my shirt tugged me along with her. I was still laughing hysterically over Alex's torment of Emily, so I was grateful for her help.

Thankfully, we made a clean get-away before we got caught, and started back in the direction we needed to go. It was clear to me that she hated leaving them. It took me quite a distance before I could calm down.

"Alyssa," I finally spoke once we'd rounded the corner, "What are your parents like?" She stayed quiet, glancing to me.

"Let's hurry." She said, "I don't want to get you into trouble."

As it turned out, I was already in a little trouble when we got home. For not coming right back when I said I would. I couldn't think of a convincing enough lie to tell Esme, so I just kept quiet. It wasn't that bad, to be honest. We were just a little later coming back than I said we'd be.

Thankfully, Alyssa explained exactly what happened, and that seemed to help.

"I didn't mean to get her into trouble." Alyssa told Esme, "I just had to check on them. Just to make sure they weren't killing each other. It was real close, so thought it'd be faster, but I guess I was wrong. She was with me the whole time, and I know my way around there, so she couldn't have gotten lost. I swear, though. I wasn't trying to get her in trouble. Honest. I'm really sorry."

Esme sighed, but nodded. Maybe it had something to do with the way Alyssa was nearly in tears, or the way I looked sadly up at Esme, but I wasn't sure.

"It really wasn't that far." I added, hoping to make Alyssa feel better, "Four blocks up the street from the store. That's it. We just walked slow on the way there."

"Alright." Esme sighed again, "Go on into the living room while I make dinner."

Grateful she wasn't going to press it anymore, we both nodded and scurried from the room.

Alyssa and I sat in the living room, watching TV for awhile as Esme prepared a light dinner. I couldn't stop thinking about her house. All those kids, and who was watching them? Why did that bother me so much?

It bothered me how protective she seemed to be of her little sister. Alex promised to watch her, but I just knew it wasn't to keep her from doing stupid shit.

"I wanna know." I muttered to her, and she kept her eyes on the TV.

"Later." She replied after a minute, and I nodded.

Alyssa didn't think anything of us eating by ourselves. Distracted now, and probably fully aware of how I glanced to her now and then. She probably knew what I was thinking now, and she wouldn't be wrong.

Once we finished dinner, I suggested we go out back. Just to talk with a hint of a chance of nobody listening in. It wasn't their fault they could hear so well, but I had a feeling whatever Alyssa would tell me would be private. I wanted her to trust me.

We stepped out back, and we both climbed over the wall, and sat on the other side of the wall, watching the park in the evening light.

We just sat out there for several minutes, watching the daylight fading even more.

"Leandra?" Esme called out behind us.

"We're still here." I called back, "We're not going anywhere." I was waiting for that. Maybe if she knew we had no intentions of leaving this spot, she wouldn't listen in.

"Alright." She replied, "Don't stay out here too long." Bingo. She'd leave us alone. Maybe listening for key words like, 'Let's go' or something, but that would be it. She was usually good at leaving me when I wanted to be alone.

Nudging Alyssa as soon as the door was closed, I stood up. She did so as well, so I led her halfway down the hill and sat on the grass. Maybe that would just be just far enough away to keep my family from involuntarily hearing anything. I could only hope.

"So?" I prompted quietly, "What's going on there?"

"Mom's gone a lot." She finally said in almost a whisper, "She comes back now and then, but when she does come back, she's always drunk." I looked down, "She's not very nice when she's like that. Daddy, he tries, and he's there a lot more than she is, but he gets mad. A lot, and he yells. A lot. He doesn't mean to, I know that, but it's hard."

She paused, looking down at her feet braced against the grass.

"Mikah tells us he's under a lot of stress, with all of us to raise." I nodded a little, "Jon helps, and so does Mikah. They do what they can, but the rest of us are too young to get jobs, and I know enough to know that what all of them make isn't enough sometimes. They fight a lot, my mom and dad, and Mikah tells us to always stay out of the way when they do that."

"You should." I nodded a little, "Grown-ups don't think when they're mad at each other."

"I know." She nodded too, "I'm not even worried about my mom. I hate her. I just hate the way he yells."

"I know how that feels." I admitted, nodding a little.

"I hate it, even when he's not yelling at me." She looked over, "You know? Just the sound of it at all. Sometimes I think about what he'd be like if he wasn't so stressed out all the time. He always says he's sorry, whenever he hits one of us, but-"

"Wait." I looked over at her, "He hits you?"

"Sometimes." She admitted quietly, "But you can't tell anyone, okay? It's not that bad. Really, it's not."

"Alyssa-"

"It's not that bad. I mean, how often have you seen me with bruises?" And I thought about it. The only bruise I remember ever seeing on her, was the one on her arm. But then again, I remembered how often and how far I went to hide my own bruises. I'd never seen any other than the hint of one on her arm, but I hadn't looked in the tell-tale spots.

"I don't have any from him. Like I said, he doesn't mean to, and normally, he doesn't. It's only now and then." There was something more there. I knew it, and I usually wasn't one to play down my instincts.

"I still think-"

"I mean it." I recognized instantly the tone of fear in her voice, "Please."

"Why?" I asked quietly, "Why won't you want to tell someone?"

"Because." She shrugged with a sigh, "If anyone knows about that, they'll take him, and they'll take us because he's gone. Jon says they'll split us all up, and we'll all go to different homes. Jon says he and Mikah are too old to be placed into a foster home, so who knows where they'll go? I don't want that."

I could understand her worry now. I sighed, shaking my head a little. I didn't like it, but I couldn't imagine how much harder it would have been for me to admit anything if I would have had to worry about a younger sibling getting sent away too.

"I'd rather put up with a few hits now and then, than have to worry about where my brothers and sister are." She whispered, "I don't know what I'd do without Mikah."

"Okay." I mumbled, "I won't tell, but you have to promise me that you'll tell me if he does it again, okay?"

"I promise." She nodded, sighing. I could only hope nobody inside heard that.

"Is that what happened to Alex's eye?" I asked, and she looked over, "After I came back, I noticed one of his bruises wasn't one I caused."

"You noticed that?" She asked, and I nodded.

"I know how to hit, and I know what bruises look like." I admitted quietly, "I never hit him that way." She paused, nodding at my explanation.

"No." She said, "That was mom. Alex pushed her for pushing Em, and he shouldn't have done that. Mikah wasn't there when that happened. It was an accident." Right.

I sighed. Both parents?

"Well," I mumbled, "Do you have another relative to live with? One that could take three of you?"

"No." She mumbled, "It's just us. Mikah says when he moves out, he's taking us with him, but that's not for another year at least, and even then, there's no guarantee he can keep us."

We fell quiet for a minute. My head was spinning. I had no idea, but it certainly explained how quickly I took to her. She was more like me than I thought. I couldn't imagine what it'd have been like if my mom had been mean too. It also explained why she was so protective of Emily. Emily was a tiny thing, and probably not nearly as sturdy as Alyssa or Alex were.

To my surprise, she smiled a little over at me.

"I've never told anyone that before." She pointed out, and I had to smile a little too. I remembered that feeling. However little, I'd helped her just now. Just by listening to what she said.

"Feels different, huh?" I mumbled, "I know that feeling."

"Now you." She urged, and I looked over, "I told you my story, now what's yours? Why are you living with a foster family?"

"You really don't want to know that." I mumbled, shaking my head.

"It's only fair."

"No," I said, "It's not that I don't want to tell you. I just don't want to scare you."

"Scare me?" She frowned, "Is it really that bad?" I nodded a little, and she tilted her head a little, "Well, come on. I'm not that fragile."

"I just.." I paused, "I don't talk about it."

"Why not?" She asked, "Isn't that what they always say? Talking about it helps."

"I don't see how." I sighed, standing up. I climbed back over the wall, landing back in the yard. I wasn't worried about them hearing anymore. They already knew my story, so it was no big deal.

"Um." She hopped down beside me, "Maybe knowing someone's gonna listen? Duh."

"Maybe later." I sighed, "Let's go back inside. I'm getting cold."

"Sure." She mumbled, and I knew she wouldn't press. She had to know how hard it was for me to even mention.

Esme acted as if nothing at all was wrong, and I eased. She acted like she never heard what Alyssa had told me, so I could breathe. The last thing I needed was for one of them to blab, and her blame me for telling. I couldn't tell Alyssa the truth. I couldn't tell her that if they wanted to, they could hear every word we said outside.

Somehow, my hair was done before eight that night. I was still confused as to how I agreed to it, but there it was. Braided pig-tails, courtesy of Alice who spent time with us in my room. I hated them with a passion, but it kept my hair from my face. Which was a big plus, at least.

They still annoyed the living hell out of me, however. I was so used to just leaving my hair down, so this left my neck bare.

Alice and Alyssa both chatted about boys, and my apparent lack of interest in them, which also annoyed me, but I figured why bug them? If it meant Alyssa could both relax from her time at her house, and experience what it was like to have an older sister, I'd keep my mouth shut. I wouldn't spoil it for her, or for Alice, who had more of a girly little sister for the night.

Alice eventually left us with a smile, mentioning how late it was. I smiled a little up at her.

Now alone, and with a small pile of candy in front of us, we started talking. I still wasn't used to eating much candy, so Alyssa had more than I did at first. I hoped she wouldn't bring up the previous subject again, but I should have known better.

"You're afraid of the dark?" She asked, but it wasn't in a teasing way. Mostly an observation. I glanced back behind me at the nightlight she'd noticed. I hesitated, embarrassed but she shook her head.

"I just recognize that." She said, gesturing to the nightlight in question, "No big deal. Emily is too."

"She's five." I grumbled, and she laughed.

"I won't tell anyone." She assured me, "Don't worry. It just surprises me, is all. I didn't think you were afraid of anything."

"There's plenty of things I'm afraid of." I admitted.

"You don't seem like it."

"I hide it."

"You're good at it." She commented, and I forced a small smile.

"Thanks." I sighed.

"Alex has to leave a light on too." She grinned, "But don't tell him I told you."

"Really?" I asked, surprised.

"Yup." She replied, "He says it's for Jon on the nights he comes home late from work, and just happens to forget it on every night, but that's a big fat lie."

"What about you?" I asked.

"Sometimes." She admitted, "If I stop and let myself get freaked out, it gets to me, but even if Emily didn't need a light on every night, I probably wouldn't be afraid to go to sleep."

"Why not?"

"Because I have Mikah there." She replied, "With him there, I'm not afraid of anything, and he's always home on time for bed." She paused, "Maybe that's why you're still afraid. Because you're up here alone."

"That's not it." I sighed, "Alice's room is right next door."

"It's not the same as having someone right there." She corrected, "In another room, it doesn't feel as safe as it would having somebody right there. For how it would feel, they might as well be on the moon."

We both fell quiet for a moment.

"I've had my own room my whole life." I reasoned, frowning, "Why would that suddenly bug me?"

"Well, how long have you been afraid of the dark?" She asked, "Your whole life? Maybe you should get a rabbit or something. Or maybe you should get a turtle, like Zack told you to _how_ long ago?"

"What's a turtle gonna do?" I asked doubtfully.

"Give you something to look at besides the dark."

"I don't know." I sighed, "My luck, it'll die from some random turtle disease, and I'll feel like shit. I don't want a pet. Just stuffed ones, like this." Plucking it from the foot of the bed, I plopped the stuffed turtle down in front of us, "Ones I can't hurt or kill, and ones that can't hate me."

"Turtles don't hate anything." She frowned, "I mean, I don't think they do. I've never heard a turtle complain."

"I hurt everything I touch." I grumbled, and she looked over at me, "I've always been that way, though. For about as long as I've been afraid of the dark."

She fell quiet, glancing down. I didn't blame her for not knowing what to say, but to my surprise, she did speak.

"You haven't hurt me." She offered, "I don't think you ever could." That didn't help much, but the effort did. I smiled a little and she returned it.

Another minute or so of silence passed. I couldn't help thinking, though. She did have a point about being lonely. Loneliness and being afraid went hand in hand, which was something I hadn't noticed before.

"So.." She hesitated, "I heard you got into some trouble on Tuesday."

I frowned, "How'd-" I cut myself off, and she laughed a little, "Right. Mikah."

"You really shouldn't wander off." I gave her a look, and we both laughed, "Really, though. When he told me about it, I didn't know it was you he was talking about. I thought it was someone else, because he never named names, but see? I knew you were human."

"What do you mean?"

"You like him." She replied.

"No I don't." I muttered, looking down.

"Yes you do." She laughed, and to my surprise, it took every single bit of my effort not to smile. She caught that, though. "You can't lie to me, you know, but don't even worry. I won't tell him or anything, but you _have_ to admit it."

"Admit what?"

"You know what." She was incredibly entertained, "Admitting it is the first step, I hear."

"First step for what?" I asked.

"No clue." She muttered, "But I heard it, so you have to." She sighed, but continued, "Mikah's my best friend, no offense to you." I allowed a laugh and shook my head. No offense taken. She smiled, "Maybe you can just tell that about people. That they're good."

"Maybe." I allowed that, "But nobody finds trouble like me, I guess." I shrugged a little.

"That reminds me." She muttered, unwrapping another piece of candy, "You still have to tell me." I sighed, flattening out my own wrapper on the floor in front of me. Well, I figured, she would need an explanation for why I freaked out during the night or had to take a pill to sleep. I still didn't know which would be worse.

But telling her, though. I whined, falling back. Thumping my head a little on the floor. It was a little more than just being afraid of the dark. No doubt she'd find that out tonight.

"Come on." She said, "It can't be that bad, can it?"

"You can't even imagine." I murmured, staring up at the ceiling.

"What are you so afraid of?" She asked, crawling over and sitting beside me.

"I don't know." I admitted, sighing, "I just.. It's a lot. I don't like talking about it."

"So was mine." She reasoned.

"Not like this." I said, "Trust me."

"It's worse?"

"That's what I'm saying." Her eyes widened a little, and she bit her lip.

"But you said your daddy never hit you."

"He didn't." I countered, and she frowned. More confused, until I spoke again, "My stepdad did. Everyday. Every chance he got." I closed my eyes so I wouldn't have to see her expression, "And he didn't just hit me. He beat me."

"What's the difference?"

"Well." I sighed, sitting up. I knew she was just curious, "Hitting is usually once or twice. A smack here or there, right?" She waited, "Beating is where they hit you as hard as they can, over and over, and they don't stop until they're tired." Her eyes widened even more, "That's what he did."

"Oh." She muttered, "I didn't know that. I didn't think there was a difference."

"Yeah." I said, "There's a difference. A big difference."

"Getting hit isn't as bad as being beaten." She murmured, and I shook my head. She nodded, and looked down. I sensed the increased tension, and looked closer.

"So." She continued before I could look too close, "Then what happened?" She asked, "Is there a reason why you got taken away?"

"Someone found out," I murmured, refusing to go into too much detail, "And that's it."

"Did you have a choice?" She asked, "To leave?"

"No." I said, "I mean, I tried to deny it, but I couldn't for very long. That's a long story there."

"And um.." She hesitated, looking down at her hands, "When he'd beat you, would you ever bleed?"

"Sometimes." I muttered, "Sometimes where he'd hit would split the skin, but not really. Mostly just bruises or something. He was usually more careful than that. Why?"

"And instead of just a bruise, you got something like-"

"A welt?" I suggested in a whisper, and she echoed me. She met my gaze, nodded wordlessly. I narrowed my eyes. Piecing it together, I realized what she was telling me, "You lied. Earlier."

"I didn't mean to." She mumbled, "I really didn't know there was a difference."

I felt like concrete had just balled in my stomach. She wasn't only getting hit, but beaten? I would have been so sure I would have known what to look for, but she was so different. It shook me, looking at her now.

She was in the same situation I had been in, but she hid it so much better than I did. How was that possible? Maybe it had something to do with her family. Having someone worth staying strong for was the major difference between her and I.

"Both of them?" I asked, again in a whisper, and she looked down.

"Just sometimes." She whispered in return. I was a little glad she knew to be discreet, without knowing why we were whispering. Maybe because she knew Alice's room was next to mine.

"Other times?"

"Just her." She muttered, "Most of the time-"

I hated having to do this, "Shh." She frowned a little, "Not here." She didn't seem mad, but gave a glance around. Confused, but not asking.

"Okay." I mumbled eventually, "It's okay."

"You're not mad?"

"No." I said, "I'm not mad. I'm just.. Let's just.. I don't know what to do." I obviously didn't know what to say, either. This was hard to process. I didn't know where to even begin to think about it.

"You can't tell." She said, "You promised."

"That was before." I said, and she shook her head.

"You still promised." She said, "Leandra, I can't lose my brother and sister. They need me." I whined, hesitant now.

"At least let me see." I mumbled, kneeling up and facing her a little more.

"Show you?" She asked, and I nodded. She turned around, and lifted the back of her shirt over her back.

"Yeah." I sighed, "That looks familiar." It saddened me.

There, on her back, plain as day evidence that what her parents did was more than hitting. She was right. It wasn't just a bruise. Though it wasn't near as bad as what I used to have to deal with, it still wasn't pretty. Five, or six, maybe ten overlapping, dark and thin welts raised along her back in a definite belt's width.

It reminded me painfully of how I lived every day, and it made me sick to think someone else was going through it. I was regretting promising what I had promised as I kneeled back again.

"It's not so bad." She told me, "Really."

"Don't lie to me." I muttered. I knew it was a lie. I'd felt that before, "Which one?" I gestured to her back.

"My mom." She sighed, looking down.

"That's why you said that you didn't have any from him." I recalled and she nodded, "I'm still an expert at dodging the truth without lying."

She sighed again, turning to face me. I couldn't do it. It made me so sick. I wasn't mad at her. How could I be? I was furious at her parents. How could anyone..

"Leandra-"

"Does Mikah know?" I asked quietly.

"He knows." She replied, "That's why he's trying so hard to get out, but it's taking awhile."

"Why doesn't he just stop it?"

"You've never met my dad." She shook her head. I also remembered that feeling quite well. Taking a deep breath, I huffed it out. Looking down in thought. It was so strange to think that someone living on the opposite side of the country could be living with so many similar things as I had been living with just a few months before. And finding her, somehow tolerating her obnoxious happiness just to make it to now.

"What about Jon?" I asked, and she gave me a look.

"Yeah, right." She muttered and I winced a little, looking back down, "Believe me, I've thought of everything you can think of. If I didn't have Alex and Em to think about.." She trailed off, and I knew what she meant. She'd have been long gone. She felt such an intense responsibility for them that she was stuck.

Eventually, I sighed.

"Let's not talk about this anymore tonight, okay?" I offered quietly, "You're supposed to be having fun. It hasn't been fun for either of us for the last hour." She nodded, understanding. Taking a deep breath along with me, sighing just the same way I did.

The truth was, I saw her differently. We both learned things about each other tonight that would either make us closer friends, or end our friendship completely. It really depended on how we both acted toward each other for the rest of the night.

Which turned out to be not at all different than how we usually treated each other.

I wasn't even sure how it happened, but we wound up downstairs on the computer half the night. Watching videos online. Funny ones. Mostly of people doing stupid things and hurting themselves. The language wasn't exactly ideal, but that wasn't the only thing we found funny.

Emmett sat in with us, probably just to make sure we weren't watching anything with boobs in it, but he found a lot of what we watched funny too, so I knew he wasn't bored.

It was probably more of how hard we laughed at some of these things that he found entertaining, though. The way he watched us instead of the screen confirmed it.

We were in the middle of a good laugh when Jasper got home, coming up the hall to see what all the laughter was about. That meant it had to be after eleven, but we were way too wide awake to go to sleep. Having taken our candy with us, we had something to munch on and keep us wired.

As entertainment, Jasper stuck around to watch too. Several times, we actually had to pause it, or we'd miss something. My stomach actually hurt from laughing so much, and Alyssa was crying with it. It was a good distraction from the earlier events of the night, and I didn't want to let it go.

"No more candy after eight." Emmett finally chuckled, "After this, it's bed time."

We got him to agree to one more, managing to stay there long enough for Carlisle to get home.

"Is that really appropriate?" Carlisle asked from the doorway, no doubt concerned about the not-so-pure language, and Emmett beside us looked back.

"I figured what could it hurt." Emmett replied over our laughter, "I've lost count how many times they've both snorted."

"It's after midnight." Carlisle reminded us, "Once this is over, it's time for bed."

"Aww." We both whined at the same time.

"I'm not tired." I pointed out.

"Me neither." Alyssa added.

"Now I know why Mikah warned me about giving you candy." I muttered to her.

"Me?" She laughed, "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"They know." Emmett finally replied to Carlisle, "I'll carry them upstairs if I have to." Giving a nod, Carlisle smiled a little, leaving the room.

Just as he said he'd do, Emmett carried us, still laughing, from the room. Up the short hallway, and up the stairs. Me over one shoulder, Alyssa over the other. I couldn't help vaguely noticing how she was the only other person I was fine with him picking up. Lily, I had a problem with, but not Alyssa. I wasn't too focused on that.

"Wait!" I laughed, "I'm hungry again."

"Aw, come on, shorty." Emmett chuckled as I rolled, fighting from his grip. He let me down onto my feet so I didn't wiggle myself free enough to hit the floor face first. I probably would have just found that funny as hell.

"I wanna go to bed." He called after me as I sprinted up the hall. Lie. Laughing at my new found freedom, I knew if anybody actually had been sleeping, they weren't anymore.

"Run, Leandra!" Alyssa called behind me, "Save yourself!"

"I'll never forget you!"

That freedom was short lived, as Jasper caught me next. Scooping me up, and flinging me over his shoulder right at the top of the stairs. This was completely unexpected, considering his distant nature lately, but I wasn't complaining. He was careful with me, but unfortunately, he was only aiding Emmett in getting us to my room.

"Drat!" I called, kicking a little and listening to Alyssa's laughter behind me.

"Shut up out there." Rose called from one of the rooms. That had us fall silent for about six seconds flat, until we burst out laughing again.

We were both deposited on my bed, laying where we were lightly dropped.

"What was in that candy?" Jasper asked, obviously amused.

"I don't know, but I like it." Alyssa didn't miss a beat. I actually rolled a little with the laughter this time. She looked at me, laughing as well, "Are you gonna make it?"

"No." I replied, "I think I'm dying."

"Good night." Emmett chuckled pointedly, "Go to sleep."

"But I'm not tired." I looked up at him, "I don't want to sleep."

"Good night." He repeated, shaking his head and closing my door behind him and Jasper.

We laid there for several minutes, calming down. She sighed heavily, the silence dragging on while we rested and caught our breath.

"I hope Emily is okay." She finally said, "I haven't been away this long before."

"I'm sure she's alright." I mumbled, rubbing my stomach through my shirt with a yawn, "She probably forgot all about that shadow thing already."

She looked over at me, "You haven't been five in awhile, have you?"

"Too bad there isn't a way to check on her, you know?" She stayed quiet for a moment, before she sat up a little.

"Think they're asleep yet?" Alyssa asked, looking over at me, and I shrugged. I doubted it. It was impossible.

"Dunno." I replied, "Why?" She immediately threw herself off the bed, sneaking to the door and opening it silently. Creeping out into the dark hallway before I said something, "What are you doing?"

"Come on." She whispered, and I wasted no time. Following her out into the hall, it was very dark without any sort of light besides my open door behind me. For a brief second, my overwhelming fear of the dark tried to make me stop, but I kept going. Distracted, and not wanting her to wander around the house alone.

I assumed that she just wanted to get something from the kitchen. I wasn't against the idea myself, though. Maybe something to drink, or a smaller snack. Just to balance the amount of sugar making my stomach ache.

"Be careful." I warned in a whisper at the top of the stairs, "Don't fall."

"I am." She replied, and I kept close behind her as we descended the stairs. One step at a time, holding on and carefully feeling our way down the stairs until we reached the first floor.

"It's so creepy down here in the dark." She pointed out.

"I know." I whispered back, "We should have brought a light or somethi-" I hit my toes on the coffee table leg, letting out a heated whispered word, "Shit!" She immediately started laughing as silently as she could. Quiet giggles behind her hand clamped over her mouth, "I found the table."

"Wait there." She whispered after recovering, "I can see a little bit." And she moved away, but it puzzled me when she wasn't reaching for any lamp or light switch. I heard her moving over by the front door, and I waited by myself in the dark. I didn't know what she was doing until she was suddenly back beside me. Urging me forward.

Through the living room, into the kitchen, she handed me something bulky. My shoes?

"Huh?" I asked, confused, and I remembered. We'd taken our shoes off earlier after getting back, and Esme put them there, but why would we need our shoes? Then I figured it out. She was out the second the door was open more than a few inches, slipping outside silently.

"Aw, no." I couldn't help it, "No. No."

"Shh."

With a whispered groan, I had to follow her out the back door, closing it as quietly as I could behind me. She slipped on her shoes, and was off running before I could even finish pulling on my second shoe. Only the moonlight to see by, I was freezing cold already. Watching her hop over the wall, and start down the hill toward the park.

"Wait!" I called under my breath, "Wait for me!"

Knowing how much trouble I was going to be in, I followed her anyway.

**A/N: Oh boy. :D  
I knoooow it's long (the longest chapter I think I've ever released), but I had to throw more conversation in there. Covering a lot of bases I basically ignored last time, which is pretty worth it, I think.  
_THANK YOU!_ To my reviewers! :D:D _THANK YOU! THANK YOU!_ :D:D**  
**Eight is a little more exciting than last time. Eight needed a lot of work, and I'm fairly pleased with how it came out. :D **  
**Until Eight, my friends! **


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

"Slow down!"

I almost tumbled several times trying to catch up to her. She finally stopped at the bottom of the hill, letting me catch up.

"Do you know how much trouble I'm going to be in?" I mumbled to her. Looking around myself in the dark, it bothered me deeply to be out in the open like this at night.

"Don't be so paranoid." She said, "I sneak out all the time. My daddy never knows."

"Your family is a little different than mine." I admitted, glancing back up the hill, "And it's freezing out here. I want to go back." My breath was visible in slight puffs in the air, so I knew it was way too cold for me to want to be out here. I appreciated being warm, and I definitely wasn't warm.

"They won't even notice." She said, taking my hand, "Quit being a scaredy-cat, and come on."

She tugged me forward, and we started running. I knew by then where we were going, but that didn't ease my nervousness any. I knew they already knew we were gone, and this was the third strike. We'd made no noise in leaving, however. They couldn't follow us immediately without an excuse, though. I hoped they would. Before we left the area, and they couldn't easily find us by human standards.

What the hell was I doing?

"We shouldn't be out here, Alyssa." I muttered, "Come on. Let's go back."

The park was even darker, and I almost didn't go, but with my hand in hers, she wasn't taking refusal as an answer. She just ran right through it like she didn't care at all. I squeaked, keeping up the best I could.

We stopped running once we reached the other side of the park, jumping out onto the sidewalk to catch our breath.

"And I'm not a scaredy-cat, okay?" I grumbled, "I'm fucking cold, and I'm fucking tired, and I _really_ don't want to be fucking-"

"Shh." She hissed, and I fell quiet. I didn't know what I was having to stay quiet for, but I followed her anyway. She started forward, and I just went along with it. I whined, but she paid no attention to that.

"I don't feel so good." I muttered.

"It's all that candy you ate." She replied simply. This wasn't bothering her a bit.

"And it's creepy.." I added, "I don't like it out here."

It was true. This area was practically deserted this time of night. The street lights too bright, illuminating the empty sidewalk in an orange and eerie way. It was harsh on my eyes. Making our way up the sidewalk in just pajamas and shoes, it didn't offer any protection from the cold, either. Early November wasn't the best time to be wandering around town at night without a jacket.

I briefly wondered if we were being followed, but if we hadn't been caught yet, probably not. Maybe they thought we were in the kitchen? Raiding the fridge or something.

"Quit whining." She sighed, "We'll be fine."

"How do you know?" I asked, looking around us, "What if.. I don't know, some dog is running loose?"

"You're freaking yourself out." She muttered, and I narrowed my eyes.

"Fine." I grumbled, "But if we get chased by a dog, I'm tripping you." She laughed, but she didn't know how serious I was.

We passed the store Mikah worked at, continuing on. A single car drove passed us going the opposite direction, and I didn't bother worrying because it kept right on going. Not even bothering to slow.

"You've really never done this before?" Alyssa asked me, and I looked over.

"Never." I replied, "You do this all the time?"

"Yeah." She nodded, "Sometimes. When I can't sleep, I just go for a walk."

"You're never scared?"

"Why should I have to be scared?" She asked, "I've never gotten into trouble before."

"Emmett told me that people like to steal kids." I muttered.

She snorted, "That's just what they say to make kids stay inside at night. That doesn't really happen. It's all made up."

"That's what I thought too." I admitted, and we both laughed.

"So.." She hesitated, and I knew she had a lot on her mind, "Is your room bugged or something?"

"Huh?"

"You were pretty paranoid back there."

"Oh." I mumbled, "No, I just.. I like to be careful. The walls are pretty thin. I didn't want Alice overhearing."

"Oh." She nodded a little, "But anyway. What I was going to say, was that most of the time, dad doesn't have to hit us."

"So your mom is the biggest problem?" I asked and she nodded.

"More than you know." She sighed, "You don't know how many times I've wished she just never came back when she's gone for days, but she always does. Emily still cares about her, but that's just because she's five."

"She's the one that leaves the marks." I observed and she nodded again.

"Yup." She sighed heavily, "Dad's yells are enough to make us move, but sometimes, he just can't help it." I narrowed my eyes, "The last time he hit me or even Alex, was like January. He spanked Emily a few weeks ago, but that's nothing."

"Hand spanking?" I asked.

"It was nothing." She shook her head, "Nothing like what mom does to the rest of us, and Emily deserved it."

"What'd she do?"

"She and Sammy made a game out of throwing rocks at cars driving by." She answered, and I winced.

"Yeah." I agreed with her, "That's spank worthy."

"Sammy got a good whooping for that." She laughed a little, "But Emily got one too, just so she knew it was wrong." She took a breath, "Anyway, no. Dad isn't the one we really have to worry about. He tries more for us than my stupid mom has any day." I nodded a little, sighing. She spoke again, "What was it like for you? Before?"

I caught on, "Before I lived with my family?"

"Yeah."

"Bad." I sighed, "And I don't ever want to go back to that."

"What would he do?" She asked, "I'm just trying to know you better."

"Well.." I mumbled, "You know how you feel when you know you've done something _really_ wrong, knowing you were really going to get it, and you were just waiting for your mom or dad to get home to find out?" She nodded, wincing, "That. Like ten times worse and all the time. Every single day, all day long."

"Ouch."

"I didn't have an older brother to make sure I ate." I continued, "I didn't have anybody to stand up for me or see if I was okay. I was alone."

"What about your mom?" She asked, looking over.

"She drank a lot." I replied, and she nodded, "But instead of beating me too, she passed out every day. Every single day, all day long. It was just me and him, and let me just say that that was definitely not as fun as it sounds."

"How did you get away?" She asked, honestly curious. I was partially glad she took that as enough answer.

"I was finally noticed." I answered easily, "Long story short, Alice wouldn't let me keep denying it. No matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't anymore. So I called Carlisle, and admitted that I needed help. As afraid as I was, that was the only way to save my own life."

"Wow." She murmured, "And they took you in too?"

"Yeah." I nodded, "Believe me, it hasn't been easy for them, but I'm trying." I couldn't help noticing the irony. Telling her I was trying, yet here I was. Escaped in the middle of the night for God only knows what reason.

"I've heard things." Alyssa spoke again, "About foster homes. About the things that can happen to kids there, like getting beaten, locked away or starved all the time. I know they can't all be that bad, but.. I don't want to take that chance. My mom does most of the beating, but my dad does enough for them to find it wrong. I don't want to go anywhere, Leandra."

"I didn't want to take the chance either." I replied, "But then I thought about it. Places like that couldn't be any worse than where I came from, so I had nothing to lose. I get it. I really do. You don't want to risk Alex or Emily like that, but really.." I trailed off.

I was going to ask her how much worse it could get for her or the other two, but I knew full well how much worse it could get. If any of them were to be placed in the wrong hands, so much could go wrong. I understood her fear perfectly.

"Yeah." She sighed, knowing I understood.

"It's tough." I mumbled, and she nodded.

We fell quiet for a minute or two, while I thought of another question.

"If you're not worried about your dad so much," I muttered, "Why are you so worried about Emily?"

"Mom can come home at any time." She answered, her eyes straight forward, "There's no way to tell when she comes back, and every time she does, she causes problems. She and Mikah don't really get along. They never really have, but I know if she does anything to Emily while he's home, he's going to go nuts. He always says we're more his kids than our parent's kids, and we agree with him."

"But he was only six when you were born." I couldn't imagine that.

"For as long as I can remember, it's always been him there for us." She added, "He'd find a way when there wasn't one. When there was no food, he fed us. No money for clothes, he earned it. He made sure we got to school when we were too young to walk by ourselves, and still got to school on time himself."

She sighed, "Really, I don't know how Emily survived during the day before we got home from school. I just remember her always crying. She cried a lot, but I think that's because mom always ignored her, and daddy wasn't around." She laughed a little, "I got real good at changing diapers."

"That had to be hard for you guys." I murmured.

"Especially Mikah."

"He was just a kid." I agreed.

"Getting me and Alex far enough to start helping with Emily wasn't easy. I wasn't even a year old yet before Alex was born." I blinked. I knew he wasn't that far behind her age wise, but when she put it that way, it was surprising, "I'd just turned five when Emily was born. Alex was four, and Mikah was eleven."

Not much older than I was now. I wouldn't know the first thing about taking care of a baby. Much less raising them, and keeping them alive for so long without some sort of help. I was stunned.

"In all that time," She went on, "I hardly remember mom doing things a mom should do. She was either always gone, or mad at us. Dad was gone a lot, but he was working. Jon wasn't much help when we were little. Neither was Sammy. It's always been Mikah."

He went way beyond being the best brother in the world.

"Wow." Was all I could say. She may not have had to go through some of the experiences as I did, but her life was equally as hard. Just in a whole different way.

"Come on." She mumbled, "We need to hurry." I just realized how slow we'd been walking. With that, we started to jog.

We got to the corner of her street before we even saw another car. One I didn't recognize. It slowed up the street, stopping long enough for me to get nervous. I paused by the stop sign, watching it and waiting for it to keep going, but Alyssa continued on. She didn't even seem to notice it.

I shook my head, and followed her. Two kids walking like this probably wasn't something seen every day. Glancing back, the car was still sitting there. Still running, and for the weirdest reason, it fascinated me.

I kept quiet until we reached her house, and she went up the steps.

"Alyssa, wait." I murmured, and she looked back at me, "This isn't a good idea."

"Just give me five minutes." She sighed, "I'll be right back."

I wasn't about to let her go in there alone, and I sure didn't want to stand out here to freeze my butt off, so I groaned and followed her. She turned the knob, and pushed open the front door. The door was unlocked, which I found to be kind of stupid, but then again, I hadn't met her dad yet.

"We should just go back." I whispered to her as she closed the door lightly behind us. It was dark and quiet in the house now, and I really didn't know what to expect.

"Would you just relax?" She whispered back. Leading me to the right and toward the stairs. Before we could even step up onto the bottom step, we froze, our breathing audibly hitching in a startled gasp.

The light in the upstairs hallway flipped on and we stood there, obviously caught. Me partially behind Alyssa, but still clearly visible to the man already half-way down the stairs, holding a bat casually in his hand. Another boy, almost as big as the man closer to us, stood at the top of the stairs. I instantly assumed the boy at the top of the stairs was Jonathan, her oldest brother.

Both Jonathan and her dad were shirtless, obviously just woken up, and both were anything but scrawny.

One wrong move from either of them, I'd run. I didn't want to do that, so I kept my hand tight on the handrail attached to the wall.

Alyssa beside me looked down, but I kept my eyes on him. He was a pretty big guy, but I wouldn't let that be my first impression of him. His black hair made him seem darker of a person, but again, I wouldn't let that be my first impression either. He was intimidating, the way he held himself.

Flat out, I didn't like him. I wanted compare this guy to Jack, but though there were some physical similarities, there was almost no comparison. They looked nothing alike.

This had to be her father.

"Alyssa?" He sighed, irritated. The firm tone of his voice tried to send ice through my blood, but I fought it. His voice was deep, almost gravelly, and I couldn't help cringing internally as I tried to imagine what his voice sounded like when he shouted. He was a big guy, and we were both small.

"Hi, daddy." She greeted with a sheepish smile. I looked over at her, and I knew she wasn't as afraid of him as I was. I tried to calm down, but that was easier said than done. Especially with the look in his narrowed eyes, and the bat in his hand.

"I could have killed you." He said, "What are you doing back? Aren't you supposed to be gone for the night?"

"Uh.." She mumbled, clearly not having thought of this.

"She wanted to get her pillow." I spoke up, "Mine are uncomfortable for her, and she couldn't sleep." His eyes found me, and I took half a step to the side, further behind Alyssa and shrinking down a little, "I thought it'd be okay."

"You brought her here?" He asked me sharply, "Through town, this late at night?"

"Uh.." It was my turn to lose my ability to speak. Looking up at Alyssa, she glanced back down at me.

"Dad?" I almost sighed loudly in relief as I heard Mikah's voice from further up the stairs, "What's going on?"

"Go back to bed." Was his response, his eyes not leaving me.

"It was my idea, dad." Alyssa said, "It wasn't her fault." I was almost in tears. I was that afraid.

So much for sneaking out all the time, I thought bitterly. He studied us for a moment, and as tempted as I was to turn and run anyway, I couldn't just abandon her like that.

"Well?" Her dad barked, and we both flinched a little, "What are you waiting for? Go get it." At first, she didn't move. Neither did I. With a loud sigh, Mikah started down the stairs. Passed their father, until he stopped in front of us.

"What are you doing here?" He asked us in a firm whisper, "Why aren't you back there in bed?" Almost shirtless himself, wearing a thin tank top, he definitely wasn't as lean as I thought before. He might not have been as big as their dad or oldest brother, but he was by no means thin. He was strong enough, it looked like, to be able to offer some sort of protection if he had to.

"I had to come back." She murmured quietly in reply, and he sighed heavily again. Running his hand through his hair, he glanced back up at their father now leaning against the railing. Lighting a cigarette.

"Come on." Mikah said, "Both of you." I glanced back up at Alyssa, following her closely, half a step behind her on our way up the stairs behind Mikah. Thankfully, we were left alone as we passed her father, but I didn't like being cramped in the tiny space with him. Even for the tiny amount of time it took to move passed him. I could feel him watching us. Closely.

Passed Jonathan at the top of the stairs, I heard his chuckle. Through the first door on the right, and straight into a tiny, tiny cramped bedroom, but that could have just been the three beds in it. Mikah closed the door behind us, flipping on a lamp sitting on the dresser behind the door.

I slowly stepped further in, looking around. Two twin sized beds pressed together on the left against the wall, and a full sized bed across the small space on the right, blocking the closet with no door. One lamp on the tall dresser behind the bedroom door, which was how we could see now. There was no space between the foot of the full sized bed, and the dresser.

"Wow." I muttered, looking around. There was a path from the door, to the left and to the twin beds pressed together or straight forward to the full sized bed against the closet, but not much more room other than that.

"The boys have more room in their room, but they'd have less if all four were in there." Alyssa explained, trying to explain the size of the room. Probably embarrassed. This room was only slightly bigger than my closet.

"You share a room with your brother?" I asked, and she nodded. I knew this before, as she'd told me, but it was still hard to believe. Seeing it for the first time. Mikah stood off to the side, his arms crossed over his chest.

"It doesn't bother us." She explained it away, "We kinda like having him in here, and he doesn't care." She looked at him, offering another sheepish smile, "Do you?" He didn't reply, giving her a stern look. He wasn't happy.

I couldn't imagine having to share my bedroom with anyone. That was my spot. I could, if I really had to, but that was different. Especially a space as tiny as this. You'd have to really have a whole lot of patience to pull this off.

Mikah finally moved, reaching out and whipping a t-shirt off the foot of his bed.

"I thought I told you to stay there." Mikah finally spoke, and he was irritated, something I hadn't heard from him before. I bit my lip, deciding to stay out of his scolding of his sister.

"I'm sorry." Alyssa mumbled, watching as he pulled on the shirt he'd grabbed, "I thought I could come in, and get back out without waking anybody."

She moved across the room, over to where the double twin beds sat. Just a tiny lump under the layered blankets, was Emily's sleeping form.

"First mistake." Mikah said, "You know dad doesn't go to bed until sometime after midnight. You know that. You didn't even wait for him to fall asleep." He was really unhappy, "No. Actually, your first mistake was coming back here in the middle of the night at all."

I stayed silent, choosing to turn slowly, and look around. Focusing on the thin scratches of the old, beat up dresser.

"And you." I flinched a little at his voice directed at me, "You let her?"

"She didn't give me much choice-"

"Did she force you?" He asked incredulously.

"I-I didn't want her running all the way here by herself." I snapped lightly, "You're welcome."

"Don't either of you know how dangerous it is? Running through town this time of night?" He asked, "Alyssa, you know Emily is safe. What's the matter with you?"

I looked to her, now sitting with a very sleepy Emily on the twin bed against the wall, who was quite annoyed at being woken up, given the whine she was giving. Looking over her arms, which were completely bruise free, Alyssa sighed.

I began to understand. She watched over Alex and Emily the way Mikah watched over all of them. When she was little, she learned from him. She'd started to take after him, but there was more to it than that.

She might have watched over them, but watching over them gave her a sense of responsibility that she hid her homesickness behind. Watching them was her life, and everything she took seriously. That was the sense I was getting when we came back here before.

She was devoted to them. These kids were closer than I thought before. All each other had. With two nearly worthless parents, the kids had no choice but to stick together like this. Alyssa would probably risk her safety at any time to get back to them.

I suddenly wanted to cry, and I very nearly did. That kind of closeness was something I'd wanted my entire life. Being an only child myself, I never imagined that kind of bond was possible. Whenever I'd imagine what it'd be like to have a sibling, I always considered it to have been a burden. Something else to worry about, but I never imagined before how much it would have given me too.

I also suddenly didn't feel as mad at her anymore. She admitted herself she never had many friends, so it was safe to assume that she was as inexperienced at spending the night away from home as I was at having someone spend the night with me.

"I know, I know." Alyssa finally mumbled, replying to Mikah and letting Emily lay back down.

"So." Mikah's tone had eased as he looked at me again, "Your first time meeting Grant, our wonderful father."

I gave a quiet, nervous laugh. Choosing to watch the floor instead.

"I know the feeling." Mikah replied bitterly, as if that had been a description. It was silent now for a few minutes as Alyssa watched Emily probably falling back to sleep. I looked over, watching Mikah pull jeans on over his pajama pants.

"Well." I jumped forward as the door opened behind me, "Looks like it's another rousing game of, 'Guess how pissed dad is'." Jonathan stepped into the room, forcing me to move back even more to land closer to Mikah's side. The door hit the dresser with a 'thump', rattling the lamp.

Behind him, Sammy and Alex peeked in around the doorway. I offered a small, nervous smile at Alex, who returned it. His hair was a mess, but that was to be expected.

"First one who guesses it right gets a cookie." Jonathan added with a grin at us, but that grin was too smug to be friendly.

"Very?" Alyssa guessed nervously, and Jon chuckled.

"Get out, Jon." Mikah grumbled, "I'm handling it."

"Oh, Mikah." Jon chuckled, shaking his head, "Defender of the weak. Keeper of the preschoolers. Isn't that precious?" He was being quite condescending. Reaching forward and messing Mikah's hair, "If you'd handled her before, we wouldn't be in this little pickle. Would we, little brother?"

"You're just making it worse." Mikah replied, "Knock it off." He slapped Jon's hand away from him.

"I'm just saying." Jon replied, laughing, "You don't handle things very well."

"Leave him alone." I muttered, gaining Jon's amused attention.

"Aw," Jon grinned, "Isn't she cute? What do you think, Sammy?"

"She's a little young for me." Sammy replied, frowning a little. Immediately, I blushed. Glaring at him.

"She's probably a fast learner." Jon pointed out, and Sammy shrugged, "Cute enough, right? And feisty, it seems. Soon as you get rid of Jessie or whatever her damn name is, I say give this one a look."

"I don't know." Sammy sighed, "I don't like the clingy ones. She looks like a clingy one."

"Stop it." Alyssa spoke up, very irritated by the sound of her tone. Both ignored her, however.

"Take it from me. You'd be trading up." Jon told him as if that would entice him. Nervously, I glanced over at Alyssa, but she was glaring at both of her brothers.

"Yeah, why not?" Sammy shrugged, not hating the idea as he looked me over, "I'll give her a swing." I'd have loved to take a swing at him, but he was too far away, and I wasn't about to move any closer with Jon standing there.

"Get the hell out." Mikah snapped, taking a step his direction. With a laugh, Sammy took off. Darting away from the door. I looked up at him, grateful as I took the now open spot behind him. I wasn't sure if he'd created that open spot intentionally, but I was grateful for it anyway.

"A little touchy?" Jon asked, also chuckling, "Don't you want your little bro to have the best? She sure looks fresher than some of the other little sluts he goes after." Boy, would he be in for it if Emmett heard him say those things about me.

"Fuck off." I barked at him, and he scoffed in surprise, laughing heavily at that.

"Definitely feisty." Jon concluded, nodding, "Precious little kitten, but five minutes with Sammy, he'd tame her. Settle her ass right down, yes sir." I glared harder, and Mikah was about to say something, but he never got the chance.

"What the fuck is taking so long?" Grant was back, standing in the doorway now as Alex scrambled out of the way now, "Goddammit, Aly. You know I work in the morning. Either stay here, or get out. I can't be dealing with this shit." I looked down at the same time she did, "Everyone else, get your asses back to bed. Now."

Turning with another pointed look at me, Jon threw a grin Mikah's direction and left the room. Mikah tensed enough for me to notice, but didn't say anything.

Grabbing her pillow, Alyssa moved for the door. I followed close behind her, Mikah only paused long enough to grab two sweaters from the closet before following me. Turning the light off as he went.

"Wake me up again, I'll knock you both into next week." Grant was pissed.

I wasn't sure if I was the one he included in that statement, or if he'd meant Mikah, so I moved a little faster. Grant turned off the light upstairs before we'd even made it down the stairs, dropping all three of us into pitch darkness, which made me stop dead in my tracks.

"Keep moving." Mikah muttered, urging me forward, "Keep moving. Come on." His light hand on my shoulder kept me from stopping again.

Alyssa and I only paused long enough by the front door to fight our way into the sweaters before leaving. She didn't seem to mind letting me borrow one.

"That went well." I grumbled, "Maybe next time, you'll listen to me." I wasn't as mad at her anymore, but I still wasn't happy.

"You sound like Mikah." She grumbled back as we stepped outside.

My eyes had yet to adjust from being in the lit room, so it seemed extra dark out here. I stuck close to Mikah's side on the way up the street, quite a bit more nervous than I had been the first time he'd walked me back to the park.

"Don't listen to them." Mikah told me, and I knew who he was referring to. I didn't bother replying. Jon's words did bug me, but I had more pressing issues to worry about right then.

We made it to the street corner, and to my further nervousness, the car was still sitting there. Still running, not having moved a bit. Seeing my distraction, Alyssa and Mikah both paused next to me, looking back at it also.

"They stopped there when we got here." I mumbled, and he gave the car another look before steering us both forward. Walking us away from it.

"Keep going." He told us, "Just ignore it. I'm sure it's nothing. Just stay close." We nodded. For once, Alyssa seemed nervous as we glanced at each other. Probably picking up on my nervousness beside her. The fact that the car had waited really made me think about what Emmett was telling me.

Of course, I tried to tell myself, it could have just been someone that lived at that house. It was probably nothing, like Mikah said, but if it was nothing, why was my throat tight?

Alyssa started forward first, and I followed her. Mikah staying close behind us. We hadn't even reached the main street yet when the bright headlights behind us, illuminating the street ahead of us told us the car had turned around and was heading slowly this way. My eyes widened, and I looked to Alyssa beside me.

I was pretty uneased by that, as was Alyssa, considering the way she grabbed my sleeve. Mikah took my shoulder in his left hand, stopping me along with Alyssa. All three of us watching as the car pulled over on our side of the street, and stopped.

I didn't mind stopping. I wouldn't want to go anywhere near that car. Not with it stopped like that, even to get passed it. I'd actually have preferred to turn around and go back the other direction. It was darker on this part of the street, so that made this entire situation even more creepy.

We waited, but nobody got out.

"Stay here." Mikah told us gently, "Don't move."

Alyssa whimpered as he stepped around us. Standing practically stuck together at the shoulder in the middle of the sidewalk, we watched Mikah approach the car. The window rolled down, and his muted voice spoke to the driver. I could barely hear the sound of the driver's voice, as they were too far away, but then again, I wasn't listening for that.

My heart pounded too quickly as I kept my fearful focus on Mikah's expression. That would tell me whether or not I had to stay this nervous. I knew Alyssa was watching for the same thing, so neither of us spoke. Her hand on my sleeve gave away her slight fear, as it trembled. She could have been cold, but I doubted that.

It wasn't until Mikah laughed and spoke again that we both sighed heavily. Having held our breath until this point. I still wouldn't be eased until he was back over here with us. I'd known something was off about coming out here, but Mikah didn't seem worried anymore.

A few more words were exchanged before he started back our way, and the car hesitated for a second or two longer before it drove off.

"He was just concerned." He told us, "Come on." That eased me quite a bit, but found my knees trembling as we kept going. I hadn't been that scared in awhile.

From there, we made it to the main street.

At that point, I started wondering how this was going to end tonight. How much trouble were we going to be in? Alyssa and I walked ahead of Mikah, and I could feel his gaze on us the entire way back. Clutching the pillow she'd apparently gone to retrieve, she couldn't just leave without it. Not without Grant, her father, watching us leave.

As I figured, the lights in the house were on when we got there, and I whined, slowing down.

"Come on, escapee." Mikah lightly took my arm, tugging me along. They were going to have to install a gate back here soon, I thought. Mikah lifted each of us over the wall, before climbing over himself.

Up to the porch, I took a breath before opening the door, and immediately, three pairs of eyes were on me. Esme, Carlisle, and Rosalie. All looking our way, and I hesitated in the doorway. My hand still on the doorknob.

"Uh.." That word was becoming increasingly common tonight. I tried to take a step back, but Mikah's hand on my arm kept me right where I was.

"Come inside, and sit down. Both of you." Carlisle wasn't happy. I winced, glancing to Alyssa beside me. I sighed, and led both her, and Mikah inside.

"Rosalie, please go call Emmett." Esme murmured, "Let them know they've been found."

With a firm look at me, she did as Esme asked. Walking from the kitchen, and really for the first time, I was borderline afraid. Carlisle waited, watching as Mikah closed the door quietly behind himself.

As Alyssa and I took our seats, side by side at the kitchen table, Mikah introduced himself to both Esme and Carlisle, and I watched. Seeing them together caught my attention. It distracted me from the situation momentarily, until all three of them looked at us again.

I had to admit. It did feel nice to be warming up again. I shivered a little in the warmth of the room, sighing.

"What on earth has gotten into you?" Carlisle finally asked, and I looked down, shrugging a little, "You were doing so well."

"I still am." I mumbled, shrugging a little.

"That's not what your behavior is telling me." Carlisle replied, "Leandra, we need to know where you are at all times. We can't do that if you don't stick to what you tell us, or run off at every single opportunity."

"Not every single opportunity." I corrected, and Alyssa looked over at me, "I could have run off before, but I didn't."

"This isn't a joke." Carlisle pointed out quietly, shaking his head a little.

"Where is she?" I heard Emmett ask as he came in the front door, and he was mad. He was back a little too soon for human standards, but neither Alyssa or Mikah seemed to find that odd. I looked to Alyssa, and she returned my gaze.

I don't know why. Maybe it was because he sounded upset? Maybe because I didn't want to hear his side of the scolding? I don't know why I did it, but I bolted up and scrambled for the back door.

Before I could even make it around the table, Carlisle caught me. Lifting me off my feet into his arms.

"It was my idea." Alyssa finally spoke up, "She was just following me so I didn't find trouble." Emmett strode into the room, and I hid my face. I didn't want to see how mad he was, even if I did deserve it.

"But you found it anyway." Mikah spoke to Alyssa now, "Both families are up in the middle of the night, because you couldn't stay your ass in bed. Now Leandra's in trouble, and you're in trouble. What were you thinking?"

"I'm sorry." She said, "I just wanted to check on Emily."

"Don't you trust me?" Mikah asked, "I think I know how to take care of you guys after all this time. I meant it when I told you she'd be fine, and you saw that for yourself."

"I know!"

"Then why?" Mikah's tone quieted, seeing she was getting upset. He sighed, sitting down beside her, taking my vacated seat, "Aly, you know I'd never lie to you. I take care of you because I care about you."

"I had to see her for myself." She muttered, "I've never been gone that long before."

Mikah sighed again, "I know it doesn't seem like a big deal to you, but wandering around in the middle of the night is a very unsafe thing to do. Anybody can see you out there, and just grab you right off the street, and we'd never know what happened to you. Is that what you want?"

There was that mention again. I looked up, watching as Mikah hugged her into his side, his arm securely around her shoulders.

"No." She sniffled.

"What would have happened had that car not been friendly?" Mikah asked her, "It would have been a two-for-one. What then?"

"What car?" Emmett asked.

"Someone had spotted them and stopped." Mikah explained, "I spoke to them on our way back. It was just a concerned older guy, but it scared the crap out of both of them." So he had noticed. I didn't dare look over at Emmett yet.

Unless it was a very used lie, it had to be something real, since Mikah was warning Alyssa of it now. I still couldn't understand it, though. It didn't make any sense to me.

"I thought you were making it up." I mumbled, finally looking to Emmett.

"You didn't believe me?" He asked, surprised, and I shook my head.

"That's why I went wandering the first time." I admitted, "I wanted to see. Nobody bothered me."

"Wait." Emmett's tone seemed firmer now, "You went wandering around, hoping to see if I was right about what I told you?"

"Uh.." I wouldn't have exactly put it that way, but..

"Are you crazy?" He demanded, "Shorty, why would I lie to you about something like that?"

"Because it can't be true." I countered sharply, "It doesn't make any sense."

"What is it about kidnapping that doesn't make sense?" He asked, "Some people would kill to find a kid like you, or like Alyssa wandering alone at night." He paused, "Or really anytime somebody's not paying one hundred percent attention to you, and believe me, that's one experience you want to avoid at _every_ single cost. All it takes is a split second, shorty. One tiny moment where someone has their back turned. They don't always make friends first. Sometimes, they just take, and we don't want to lose you."

I didn't appreciate his tone, and I looked down.

"Listen to me, shorty." He stressed, "Someone sees you, they like what they see, they take you." He had to hear how nervous that made me, my heart speeding up, "That's how fast it can happen. All we're asking is, at very least, for you to tell us where you're going, and when you'll be back. That's it. I'll take you for walks myself, if that's what you want, and you know I'd never let anything happen to you."

"For someone so worried about Jack, you sure aren't very careful." Jasper wasn't happy with me either. I didn't like the mention. Especially now, in front of Mikah and Alyssa, "You know he fits into that category as well, don't you? And we'd never know, because you were foolish to run off on your own." I whimpered, hugging tighter to Carlisle's neck.

Emmett waited, watching me.

"I walk around all the time, and nothing's happened." Alyssa spoke up, and I looked to her, "I leave the house all the time at night. That's the best time to walk around."

"Since when?" Mikah asked, this obviously news to him.

"Since I was like eight." She replied confidently.

"Well that's gonna stop now, isn't it?" Mikah asked, and Alyssa rolled her eyes.

"They only tell kids that to make them go to bed at night." She countered, but even I heard the hint of doubt in her voice now, "It's not actually like that."

"It has to be made up." I said, looking to her, "Or at least not that bad."

"Yeah." She agreed, but that was the wrong answer.

"You know what? It's movie time." Emmett muttered, taking me from Carlisle's arms, "Let's go watch a movie." I frowned, not appreciating being plucked away like that, but I didn't dare complain.

"Emmett." Esme obviously didn't like the sound of that.

"I know what I'm doing." Emmett replied, "Don't worry."

"What movie?" Mikah asked, standing with Alyssa. Emmett replied with a name, and Mikah nodded, "I see what you're doing. May be a little steep, but it might just be enough to work on these dummies." He patted Alyssa's head, and followed Emmett and I into the living room.

"Do you want to stay, or would you rather go?" Emmett asked Mikah, "I can take it from here."

"I'd rather stay." He said, "I want to be sure she learns her lesson." Emmett didn't seem to mind that either.

I was seated between Alyssa and Emmett on the couch. Mikah and Emmett on either end of the couch, Alyssa and I in the middle between them. She remained skeptical, but I grew nervous as the movie started.

Emmett sighed, looking to me as I watched. Probably making sure I was paying attention, which I was.

"Stupid." Alyssa barked at the TV, intending it for the girl in the movie five minutes into it, and Mikah looked to her.

"I thought you said it was made up?" He asked, "How is she stupid? She probably didn't believe her brother, either."

"Everybody knows not to just climb into someone's car like that." She replied.

"Why not?" Mikah asked again, "I thought it was all made up?"

That shut her up for a minute.

"See?" She eventually pointed out, "She's fine. They let her go." She really wanted to be right about this, but I'd developed doubts.

"Just keep watching." Mikah muttered, shaking his head.

Despite supposedly being two years older than the girl in the movie, I was just a little bigger than she was. I was still behind where I should be growth wise, and despite the obvious differences, I could see why Emmett thought about me when he watched it before.

Not letting that comparison scare me, I continued watching. Neither of us said anything more after that, though, both getting increasingly nervous. I didn't like the things I was seeing, but Alyssa seemed more confused than anything each time I glanced over at her. I had to hide my face at one point, but that was short-lived. A close call, but she was fine.

As it turned out, I couldn't make it more than thirty minutes into the movie.

The moment I realized what was just about to happen to the girl, I jumped up with a cry, and I ran from the room in a stab of panic. Nearly tripping over Mikah on my way by, and listening to Emmett insisting Mikah pause it behind me as he stood up.

"Leandra?" Alyssa called, confused.

I couldn't understand why Emmett would make me sit and watch that, and the last one I wanted comfort from was him, so the first one I found, I clung to. Which happened to be Carlisle. Jasper was almost as close, but I probably would have avoided him.

Carlisle sighed, lifting me as Emmett entered the room behind me. I found a decent hold around his neck, and I wasn't letting go.

"I'm sorry." I sobbed, "I'm sorry."

"I knew that would be too much." Carlisle murmured, looking to Emmett.

"Too much, or just enough?" Emmett asked, "Listen to her."

"I'm never leaving the house again." I cried into his shoulder, shaking my head, "Not ever. Never. I don't want that."

"That was the opposite of helpful." Carlisle reminded him, "We wanted her more carefully independent. Not petrified of leaving the house."

"I had to show her." Emmett replied, "She wasn't getting it before. She'll calm down, and you'll see. They'll be more careful. That's what we want, isn't it?"

"Leandra?" Alyssa's still confused voice didn't even help me calm down, "It's okay, you know. It's okay. It was just a movie."

"It was just a movie, you're right." Mikah told her, "But that stuff really does happen."

"I don't get it." She said, "Why is she so scared? What was that?"

"That's happened to her." Mikah stated. It wasn't a question. He understood now, given his tone. I felt Carlisle nod, and Mikah suddenly got very quiet. Alyssa had obviously never been through anything like that, because she didn't get it. She wasn't crying like I was, and she didn't understand.

"That's such a horrible movie." Esme pointed out, "Wasn't there a more child friendly way to show them?"

"Not as effective as this one was." Emmett replied, "She'll be alright."

"What?" Alyssa was getting irritated, "What made her cry like that?"

"Don't worry about it." Mikah told her, "Just trust me, okay?"

"It's bad, isn't it?" She asked, and Mikah sighed.

"You guys can keep watching if you want." Emmett offered, "But I don't think shorty is going to join you."

Esme spoke up again, "No. It's too much. That's enough."

"I don't want to keep watching anyway." Alyssa muttered, "Not if it makes her cry."

I couldn't stop shaking.

It took me several minutes to calm down, but my breathing stayed panicked for quite a bit longer. Now and then left over sobs would escape, or another round of trembles would roll through me.

I was very aware of everyone else still in the room, but it was silent.

I didn't blame her for not wanting to watch any more of the movie. I wouldn't want her to anyway, because I understood now. _All_ my curiosity had been cured. I was no longer doubtful or confused about why people would steal kids. I wasn't going to be stupid anymore. I knew what that was like, and whatever happened after that wouldn't be good.

I was much calmer by the time we were put to bed. Embarrassed now by how I acted. She'd look over at me, but I wouldn't offer an explanation. I didn't want to tell her. The nightlight was somewhat effective in helping me see, but it was hard to read the expression in her eyes.

I did feel comforted, though. By being back in my own room. Safe under the blanket, warm and protected. I wondered how it had to feel for her. She wasn't nearly as scared as I had been, though.

"Leandra?" She murmured.

"Hmm?" I replied, looking over at her in the dim light of the room.

"Who is Jack?" She asked, and briefly, my blood ran cold. A typical reaction any time I heard his name when I wasn't expecting it. She'd heard him mentioned before.

"My stepdad." I answered, and she looked over at me, "The same person I told you about earlier. Why?"

"Just wondering." She replied quietly, looking back up at the ceiling, "They said he could be out there too?"

"He never went to jail." I explained quietly, "He got away before they could catch him." She winced. It fell quiet for a minute.

She sighed, "I like your family."

"Me too." I replied, "Except when they make me watch stuff like that."

"What happened?" She asked, and I fell quiet, not wanting to admit a word of it, "Why won't anyone tell me what was going on in the movie?"

"Because they want you to stay confused about it." I muttered, "I don't blame them. I wish I could be as confused as you are." I couldn't help starting to cry again. I tried to stay quiet, but she'd noticed. She seemed more worried about me than anything, though. Not irritated or frustrated.

"It's okay." She offered, "It was just a movie. It was fake." She had a point there, but the memories that 'just a' movie brought forward weren't fake. Wasn't I tortured enough by those memories? Why did Emmett have to add to them?

"He could have just told me." I cried quietly, "He didn't have to show me that."

"Don't be mad at him." Alyssa stuck up for him quietly, "He probably didn't know you'd cry so much. Mikah made me watch it too, so it's okay."

"But it's not." I argued, shaking my head, "It's not okay. I don't get it. Why would anyone do that?" She probably thought I still meant showing us the movie, so she didn't reply. Falling quiet while I struggled to calm down.

"It worked though, didn't it?" She asked, and I couldn't deny that she was right.

"Lesson learned." I whimpered.

"Me too." She muttered, "But you gotta admit. He's a good brother. If he wants you to learn your lesson that much, he's a good one." I took a deep breath, it trembling a little with emotion.

"I should steal him." She laughed, and I knew she was joking, but I didn't like that idea. It was possible.

Sure, she was more of a handful, but she was cuter than I was. She could handle people better than I could, but I was learning. I was still learning. She was less damaged than I was, and she was way more fun. Who wouldn't trade me for someone like her?

She must have fallen asleep waiting for a response from me, but she never got one. I didn't know what to say. I did what I could to cry silently, which was eventually what made me fall asleep.

I fell asleep, not even really being able to tell she was there. My bed was so big, there was so much space between us. It was closer to two in the morning before we fell asleep, so it was very late. However, with how many times I woke up, it made the night seem a lot longer to me.

Somehow, during the rest of the night, I never woke her up when I woke up. Managing to keep my cries quiet enough to let her sleep while I laid as still as I could, or carefully climbing out of bed to hide in the bathroom. She was just out cold, probably finally exhausted.

She was still asleep when I crawled out of bed in the morning. Too anxious to sleep anymore. I needed some water, or something to calm me down. My thoughts weren't just on the movie the night before. I felt an edginess that made my stomach tumble. I needed to spend some time with someone who understood how I felt.

My feet made no sound through the living room, spotting Mikah asleep on the couch. Confused in my sleepiness, I stood there for a second just watching him. He'd still been here when we went to bed last night, so it wasn't a complete surprise, but my tired mind couldn't make sense of the sight of him laying there.

I found Esme in the kitchen already, and crossed the room to her. She gave me a sad smile, seeing my run down, tired and nervous expression, hugging me.

"No more sleep overs for awhile." I sniffled, not surprised when my tears started up again. Slow ones, tired ones. I was deeply upset, and I knew exactly why. That movie had reminded me of things I didn't want to be reminded of, and for once, my dreams reflected that.

"Oh, honey." She murmured, sitting me across her lap and wrapping her arms more securely around me. I started to calm down, easily now that I was sitting with her. I wasn't embarrassed anymore by letting her hold me. I wouldn't let myself be. I just wanted reassurance, which she was only too happy to provide.

"I remembered more about that vision." I mumbled quietly, and she gave a nervous glance into the living room, "He's out cold."

"We still need to be careful, honey." She told me, "Revisit the subject later?" I nodded a little. I understood her wanting to be careful.

"I'm surprised he stayed." I mumbled, "Why?"

"He wanted to be here in case Alyssa needed him." She explained and I smiled a little.

"He's such a great brother." I mumbled, and suddenly I remembered. I recalled all that they faced at home, and if he could sleep here and actually rest for a few hours, I didn't mind in the least.

I sighed, leaning against Esme.

"Are you hungry?" She asked me quietly.

"No." I murmured, smiling a little as I looked over, "But I think they will be. There's a lot of people at their house."

She smiled, taking the hint. Two more humans to feed. Her favorite thing in the world. I stood up and allowed her to stand, taking the seat she vacated.

After only a few minutes, Esme handed me a cup of tea, which I appreciated deeply. I could never turn it down when she offered, because she made it so well. It warmed me up and eased my tumbling stomach. However, halfway through her making breakfast, I was falling asleep right there at the table.

My arm folded under my head, I laid over the table. Just like I had the other morning while trying to shake off the pill I'd taken. I couldn't help it. Having gotten close to absolutely no sleep the last few nights, especially the night before, I was so tired.

I wasn't surprised when I was lifted slowly, but the temperature of their skin was all wrong. I noticed that immediately, and that did bother me. My eyes snapped open.

"Put me down." I whined, looking up at Mikah holding me, "I don't want to punch you in the face."

"Usually I'm better at that." He laughed a little, "I just thought you'd be more comfortable in your bed."

"I'm fine." I yawned, "I'll sleep later."

"Good morning." And Alyssa was awake, skipping into the room. Witnessing Mikah still holding me, she laughed a little, "Are you trying to kidnap her?"

I looked up at him, pausing before giving a quick struggle.

"I'll bite you." I warned when he just held me tighter.

"Relax." He chuckled, "I just don't want to drop you. Hold still for a second." I did as he said, he let me down, back into my seat. I gave him the dirtiest look I could manage, and he laughed, "I take it you didn't sleep very well."

I just shrugged as Alyssa slid into the seat beside me.

"He wouldn't kidnap you." Alyssa assured me, "He's nice."

Over the course of the morning, the kitchen became more occupied. Alice and Jasper first, and Alice definitely wasn't pleased with us. Not only her expression announcing that, but her tone as she spoke to me.

"If you ever pull that again-"

"I won't." I mumbled, "So save it." Giving me a look at my attitude, she chose not to continue.

"I won't, either." Alyssa said beside me, "I don't know what made her cry like that, but I don't want it."

"Believe me," Jasper murmured, "You don't. It's far safer being careful at all times, and listening to your parents, or your _brothers_ when they tell you to stay where they can see you." She looked down but nodded.

"And no more night escapes." Mikah told her, lightly pushing her, "If I had known, I'd have locked the bedroom door. I might start doing that anyway."

"What if I have to go?" She asked, smiling a little.

"Then you'll just have to wake me up, won't you?" Mikah asked, "It's not like you have any aversion to doing that, apparently."

Alyssa looked down again.

"Sorry about that."

"I know." He sighed, "I know."

Carlisle came in, followed by Emmett, which left Rosalie as the only one out of the room. I gave Emmett a glare as I stood up. I rounded the table to Carlisle, hugging onto his side.

"Don't go to work today." I requested quietly, and he looked down at me. He was quiet for a moment, sighing quietly.

"I'll see what I can do." He assured me, and I nodded a little. Even if he couldn't stay, that he would try was enough.

I even managed to eat a little bit, and I felt a little better.

"No wonder you hate school lunches so much." Alyssa commented, "I would too if I ate stuff this good every day."

"Right?" I laughed a little, nodding, "I told you she's the best cook in the world." Esme was pleased by the compliment, given her smile.

Since Mikah was already here, and he had to go start getting ready for work, he told Alyssa that he'd be the one to take her home. As much as I knew she had to dread that, she also looked forward to it. Seeing her sister, and being around to watch her, I knew she'd feel better. Back in her element. I had no doubts she needed to unwind as much as I did.

I couldn't help being a little relieved too, as horrible as that made me. I wanted time to breathe. I didn't like making my family mad at me.

Who knew having somebody else come over could be so exhausting? I also hadn't been expecting the busy night the night before. I felt mixed up. As much as I regretted leaving the house the night before, I also got to know Alyssa better. I understood her better, and as hard as her life had been, I could see easily how it made her who she was. It gave me a whole new perspective on what it meant to have a hard life. I was grateful for that.

While we were upstairs getting Alyssa's stuff, I went through the shirts hanging in my closet, just grabbing ones left and right and tossing them in a box. Ones that looked like they'd fit her.

Alice didn't even seem to mind, surprisingly. She went through the box, folding each shirt carefully while Mikah chatted with Emmett and Jasper a little bit.

"You're not mad?" I had to ask her, kneeling in the seat beside where she stood folding.

"Not at all." Alice laughed, "At least they'll get some use." That was my reasoning. I had to laugh a little.

"And hey." I looked to Alyssa, "If any of those are too small for you, just give them to Emily or something. They'll probably be pretty big on her, but it's better than nothing."

"She'd love that." Alyssa replied.

"I usually try to get her a size or two larger than she needs," Alice told her, "So I think you'll be okay." As a test, she held a shirt up to her, and smiled.

"There's a few in there that fit me right." I added, peering into the box, "So those might go to Emily anyway." There had to have been twenty shirts in there, so I wasn't worried about it.

Once they were gone, Mikah carrying the box for her, I fell back into my chair with a heavy sigh. Leaning forward and thumping my forehead against the table.

"Well, that was certainly interesting." Jasper commented as soon as they'd left, "Same time next week?"

"No." I almost shouted, lifting my head quickly, and he actually laughed, "No. No, that's okay." I sighed heavily, laying my head back down, "I'm so tired, I could sleep for a week."

"Sleep all you need to, honey." Esme assured me, "I can tell how tired you are."

"There is one thing we need to discuss, however." Jasper spoke up, and my heart sank a little, "About what Alyssa said last night." What had he overheard? He hadn't been home for the earlier discussions of the night, but the others could easily have filled him in.

"Uh.." I had to stop using that word that wasn't a word.

"We'd never trade you." He told me, and I sighed a little, "Never. I know how much that bothered you." As long as he didn't bring up anything else we talked about, I'd rather have to deal with this subject.

"She's more fun than I am." I mumbled, shrugging a little.

"If that's your reasoning, then let's get a dog." Emmett said, and I looked up, "It can have your room, shorty, and you can sleep outside." Before anyone could even react to what he said, I was laughing.

"Really?" Alice demanded, "You had to go there?"

I couldn't help laughing, though. I knew he was joking, and that made all the difference. Alice was still upset, however.

"You don't tell her something like that." Alice was pretty mad at him, "Never. Are you kidding me?"

I was still laughing, though, and he grinned at me.

"Can it be a poodle?" I asked, "Or maybe a German Shepherd. I can train it to eat people." Alice rounded, giving me a look.

"Don't encourage him." She told me.

"That's not a bad idea." Emmett replied.

"That's probably not a very good idea." Alice countered, but he ignored that as my laughter faded. Rounding the table to kneel beside where I sat.

"Forgive me?" He asked, and I sighed, looking down.

"I don't know yet." I muttered, "You could have just told me."

"You wouldn't have believed me." He replied, "If you didn't believe me the first time, you really wouldn't have believed that. That movie you saw was actually based on something that happened. It happens all the time."

"I don't like thinking about that." I admitted, "Not ever."

"I know." He sighed, "But it doesn't have to be that way. As long as you're careful."

"How is telling you where I'm going to be going to help stop that from happening?" I asked, "It's still sunny here all the time." I knew by his expression that I had a point.

Alice, across the kitchen, suddenly turned.

"Carlisle?" She requested him to follow her, which got my attention. Confused, I sat there, watching after them for a second.

"Just be careful." Emmett continued, probably trying to distract me, "That's all you have to do. Don't wander off alone, and if you are on your own, don't be on your own." I frowned, "Stick around a lot of people, shorty, so when you make a fuss, someone's bound to notice."

"Oh." That made more sense.

"Makes you less of a target that way." I nodded a little, "Nobody's just going to go for a kid surrounded by people. Not with that many eyes."

"Okay." I took a breath, "But no more movies like that."

"No problem." He replied easily, "I didn't even want to show you that one. I don't like freaking you out like that, shorty, but I had to get through to you somehow."

My attention was taken briefly by Jasper eventually following Carlisle and Alice, but Emmett spoke again.

"You know I care about you, right shorty?" He asked, and I nodded a little, "I wasn't trying to be mean."

"You're mean sometimes." I accused, and he laughed.

"Not on purpose." He replied, "I just pick on you."

"I guess I'd rather be stuck with you than Sammy or Jon."

"Who?"

"Alyssa's other brothers." I explained, "I met them yesterday, and I kind of wish I didn't. They're.. I don't even know."

"Do I have to go kick some butt?" He asked, and I smiled a little.

"Only if you want to." I replied, "And only if I can watch." He grinned, and I smiled a little in return.

"Maybe I should make an impression anyway." He murmured, "Just so they know who they're dealing with."

"Of course." I replied, "It's only right to give them fair warning before you have to kick their ass." He chuckled. I had to admit that I missed this too.

"Are you anticipating an ass kicking sometime soon?" He asked, and I hesitated.

"You never know." I answered, "It's always smart to plan for one, just in case."

"Just in case." He agreed, laughing again. I knew he was just trying to distract me, and surprisingly, I didn't mind that at all, but he noticed, "What's wrong?"

"I kind of wanted to go to sleep." I muttered, "But they're talking about me, so I'm a little stuck."

"Well, I think they can put their talking about you on pause for thirty seconds." He replied, standing up. Taking the hint, I stood up too. I didn't miss Esme's smile as I followed Emmett from the kitchen.

"Heads up." Emmett called, probably to give them time to finish whatever they were saying before we had to pass them in the upstairs hallway. They obviously wanted no chance of me overhearing, as they'd moved so far to talk. Even Rosalie had joined them, which was pretty surprising to me.

"Get some rest, Leandra." Alice told me as Emmett escorted me passed them.

"No promises." I replied, and she smiled a little.

I wasn't sure why Emmett thought he needed to escort me, but I wasn't exactly bothered by it.

"What are they talking about?" I asked him the second we were in my room.

"The next hunting trip." He answered easily.

"Oh." I replied, accepting that. As odd as it sounded, I'd completely lost track of their hunting habits recently. That also explained why Rosalie was part of it. I laughed a little, sitting on my bed, "One's probably needed after yesterday, huh?"

"It couldn't hurt." He replied.

"Sorry for torturing everyone."

"Well, for most of the night, it was worth it." He shrugged, "So it's no biggie. If whatever happened last night doesn't happen again, you could even try that whole sleepover thing again if you wanted to. But you both have to stay _here_."

"Just not for awhile." I sighed, flopping back.

"Not for awhile." He agreed, chuckling again, "And no scary movies."

"No." I replied, "None of those."

The moment he left, my eyes closed. I was more tired than I thought, because I fell straight to sleep. Maybe a few minutes awake, kicking my feet under the blanket and fighting sleep as long as I could, but that didn't last very long.

I woke to a nightmare not very long later, and I knew the rest of this weekend was going to be torture. I expected no different. It's just how I was. Oddly enough, it was a memory I'd dreamed of. Before last night, that hadn't happened in so long, so it was no wonder I was so worked up.

I _hated_ how real my dreams were. I hated it so much. I woke up, hating everything for a few minutes. Hating whatever remnants of the dream that stuck around. It ached and it burned me. Smells sharper, tastes bitter in my mouth. His laugh, echoing in my head, my eyes and cheeks wet with tears.

It made no difference what mood I fell asleep in. It made no difference what I had on my mind when I was falling asleep. It made no difference what I thought of, or how I felt. I could be in the best mood possible, but I'd wake up in the worst mood possible.

I could be doing so well, and suddenly, I'm three steps back. That's how it worked.

Frustrated, I hit my head on my pillow. Once, twice, three times. Each harder than the last, covering my face with my hands. I was getting fed up, quickly, and I didn't know how to stop myself from taking those three steps back. I knew how to try, though.

I could feel it. I knew what to look for now, and I felt it. The slipping. A bad day was coming soon, and I wasn't looking forward to it. I was scared.

I found Carlisle, Alice, and Esme in the kitchen when I ventured downstairs. I crossed the room, their eyes on me. They could see how shaken I was, no doubt knowing exactly why.

"I want to stay home from school on Monday." I mumbled, "Can I?" I requested that for the other kids' safety more than mine. I didn't know how far downhill I was going to go or when I was going to go there, but I didn't want to risk hurting anyone.

"Of course you can." Carlisle's easy agreement only relieved me at first. Then I thought about it. He didn't ask why, he didn't try to change my mind. He just agreed, like he knew. Like he could tell. That was way too easy.

"Were you going to keep me home anyway?" I asked, curious.

"We thought you might be having a hard time." Carlisle replied, and I nodded. It wasn't that hard for them to tell. I was actually quite grateful, and it made sense. I definitely wasn't about to offer an argument where there wasn't one.

"You'll be spending the day with me on Monday." Esme offered as I sat down beside her at the table, "Would that be alright?" I nodded a little, "I want to show you the house I'm going to renovate. I think you'll love it." That did sound like fun. Much more relaxing than having to face a ton of people I could potentially hurt.

I took a breath, sighing. It was so hard to unwind from those dreams.

"Did you see something?" Alice asked, no doubt wondering about my mood, and I shook my head.

"I just.." I paused, "I think a bad day is coming."

"That's another thing." Alice said, so blatantly changing the subject, I had to force myself to keep up, "What's going on with your visions?"

"I still can't see ahead." I answered, "Not now. Just what happened before. I think maybe I have to get through remembering the one I had before I can do that, but it's going so slow." She nodded.

"It'll pick up, I'm sure, as you get older." She said, and I shook my head again.

"It's not about getting older. It's more like.." I paused, "I can't see what's supposed to happen until it's.. Right there. Until it's either right about to happen, or already happened, I don't know it's happened before. Well, you know what I mean." She smiled a little, nodding, "It bugs. A lot. Like Bella's party. I could have said something, because that had happened before, but I didn't even know it. Things are so different now, I couldn't tell you anything about what's coming up."

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"Well, remember? Last time I was left behind." I said, "And believe me, I know how much that hurt. I remember how I turned out the way I did before, but that's changed now."

"Have you been able to remember anything else regarding the moments closer to when you woke up?" Carlisle asked, and I sighed.

"Aro." I mumbled, tensing. I frowned, leaning forward and resting my chin on my folded arms on the tabletop, "I still hate him."

"Do you remember why?"

"He was there." I sighed, "I know he was there. It's so hard to remember. Um.." I paused this time for a minute, maybe longer, until I slowly sat up, "I remember why it's so hard to remember that time. It should be easy, right? Because it was the most recent." They waited, "I had been turned. That's why it's so hard to see much of anything."

"You were turned?" Esme asked, shocked.

"I was hurt. Really bad." I told her, "I don't remember how it happened, but I know there wasn't much choice. It was close too."

"You said you were seventeen when you woke up?" Carlisle asked, and I nodded.

"So it's not like I was too young." I replied, "Like you worried about last time." He frowned and I smiled a little, "I asked about it. In the vision, before you left, I asked you to turn me. I can still remember everything Rosalie told me, so I won't ask now." I paused, "And there's a reason. Besides that I'm too young, and I think Aro has something to do with that."

Accepting that, he looked down briefly. Probably thinking of another question. While I waited, I couldn't help the yawn that escaped.

"What was going on with Jack in the vision?" Carlisle asked, and I looked down. My heart speeding up as I remembered.

"Months ago, I think I told you that he was caught." Carlisle nodded, recalling, "He was arrested, and there was a trial. I had to be there." I kept my eyes down, "He tried to kill me, and he almost did, but I lived."

"How was that possible?"

"Coincidence." I replied, "Wrong place, wrong time." I paused, "I don't like remembering that."

"And Ken?" Carlisle asked, and I looked up.

"I don't think he was there." I murmured, shaking my head, "No, I hadn't met him yet."

"You're sure?" He asked.

I hesitated, "Why?"

Why were they asking about him suddenly? I was far more worried about Jack than Ken at the moment, and they should be too.

Until I thought about it.

I should be just as worried about Ken. He'd said himself that he'd taught Jack everything he knew. He'd said himself that it was he that made it possible for Jack to get away with everything he got away with. Ken was just as much of a threat to me as Jack was in this case. I'd done something _really_ stupid by telling on Jack. Ken would want to get me back for that just as much as Jack would.

If Jack was determined to find me, and if he was acting alone at any time, without my mom around, Alice could see him. I'd known Ken was with them for awhile now, so I wasn't exactly surprised they were asking me about him, but it seemed different now.

"Wait." I said, sitting straighter, "Alice?" No doubt they knew I was putting it together. Something was off. Something wasn't making sense, and I was starting to figure it out.

All the warnings about going places alone. About running off by myself. How much they've insisted, and pressed the issue. How adamant they were about it. Desperate enough measures to make me watch something Emmett normally wouldn't make me watch.

With one thought, everything suddenly made sense. So quickly, my head spun a little.

Have I just been lucky?

Maybe it was my own thoughts and the dreams I couldn't remember, or maybe it was what Jasper had told me the night before about Jack, but I wasn't confused anymore.

With an almost physical click and a painful drop of my heart, I understood now. I knew what all these warnings were about. The spoken ones, and the unspoken ones. I knew what all the worry was about. The things I'd been so confused about before.

Ken. Jack. They were here. They were all here, in town, waiting for me.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I demanded, fear making me stand up, and she sighed as she stood as well. Immediately rounding the table to my side. Blocking me from leaving right away.

"To avoid this." She said, "We didn't want you to panic." She'd just confirmed it.

"I thought I was losing my mind!" I was pissed, "Panic? I think I'm allowed to panic! I think this is the perfect time to let me panic!"

She tried again, "Leandra-"

"I think if I wanted to panic, I should be able to panic." I went on, "Not you dropping little hints in places I'd never see, making me panic over you not wanting me to panic, but knowing there's reason to panic without even knowing why I'm _freaking_ _panicking_!" I stomped my foot and a desperate sob breaking the last two words

"Leandra," Alice tried again, "Breathe. Calm down."

"He knows where I live?" I asked fearfully, "He knows right where I am? Oh, God. Now what?" Stupidly, I started to cry, "If he knows, Jack knows, and I.. No." I shook my head.

"He's known for awhile now." Alice pointed out, trying to calm me down, "They both have. You're still fine."

"For now!" Another sob tore from me, and I turned. I wanted to pace, but I was too afraid to move off the spot.

The thought of him anywhere near me sent a tension straight through me that I couldn't fight. I knew what that meant. I hadn't seen Ken since I ran that day, what felt like so long ago, and I never thought I'd have to. I'd been so preoccupied by the fact that Jack was still out there somewhere, I'd completely forgotten to worry about Ken.

Turning me back around, Alice hugged me. I wanted to be mad, so I struggled and hit her a few times, but I couldn't keep that up if I wanted to.

"My dreams." I sobbed, finally returning her hug, "The things I can't remember.. I've been trying to tell myself, Alice. Something's going to happen."

"She's never sleeping again." Emmett entered the room with a sigh, probably having heard me start to cry.

"W-What do I do?" I cried, looking to Alice, "What can I do?"

"Just stay smart." She said, "Don't run off, and stay where we can see you."

"If it's daylight out, you can't do a damn thing." I reminded her, sobbing.

"Remember what I said." Emmett spoke up, "Earlier? You keep saying yourself that Jack's not stupid. He's not going to-"

"He's not like other people!" I cried. I wanted to keep talking, but I honestly couldn't. Crying too hard now.

"Then stay inside during the day when you can." Alice said, "Stay with us. I promise nothing will happen while you're with us." I couldn't let go of her.

"You'll be alright, shorty." Emmett assured me.

"He's not like other people." I repeated desperately, "He doesn't do anything without a reason. If he's here, he knows he's got a chance. How did he even find me so soon?"

"I'll keep watch." Alice told me, "Don't worry about that. We kept you home last week as well, because I managed to see."

"Halloween?" I asked, and she hesitantly nodded.

"Now, there are still times I can't see, because, well.. They're all together, but sometimes, they act alone-"

My voice rose higher in pitch, "Act? Are you _kidding_ me? Alice!" My panic only increased.

"Bad choice of words." She admitted, "Breathe." She hugged me tighter, "They won't come near the house, because they know that's stupid."

"T-Then..?"

"That's why you're staying home from school Monday." She admitted, "They were going to try."

"H-He can't, right?" I asked, looking to Carlisle, "He can't. Neither of them can."

"They have ways." Alice replied quietly, honestly, "And given the chance, those ways would work. I just haven't seen those ways."

"I told you he was smart!" I told her, "Why doesn't anyone ever believe me? Can't you just have him caught before he gets there?"

"No." She sighed, "Deciding to keep you home will change how it turns out. We're keeping you as far away from them as we can, okay? You won't be anywhere near them."

"Until my mom blocks the way for you." I reminded her sharply, "Then he could be right outside, and you wouldn't even know it." She stayed quiet, looking down. I was right.

"Wrong." Emmett spoke up, "We'd know it. Any scent we don't recognize is automatically investigated."

I breathed another round of sobs. She had to feel how scared I was by my trembles. Worse than the night before. I couldn't _stand_ it. The thought of Jack knowing right where I was terrified me.

"I've been trying to warn myself." I sobbed, "This is why I hate whatever stupid gift I have. It's stupid! It doesn't do any goddamn good!"

"Easy." Alice's tone was firm, but quiet at the same time, "I know you're scared, and you have every right to be, but I _promise_ we'll keep you safe."

That was all I could stay through. I stepped back and turned, leaving the room. Up the stairs and straight into my room.

I double-checked the doors and windows, making sure they were locked, before literally diving back into bed. Scrambling under the covers and hiding in a tiny ball, completely hidden.

Knowing this now really put the last couple of weeks into perspective for me.

"Leandra?" Esme had followed me.

"I'm never coming out!" I cried, "Why would you hide this from me? I needed to know!"

"Because we wanted you to live your life. Not feel like you had to hide like this." She reasoned, sitting on the side of my bed, "Come on out, honey."

"No." I sobbed flatly, "I'm never coming out again." My sobs took on a more desperate tone, shaking hard along with me, "I don't wanna die, Esme. I don't wanna die. Please.."

"Please calm down, sweetheart." She murmured, "Everything is going to be fine."

"How can it be fine?" I choked, "It'll never be fine. Now I know why I'm so scared all the time. Now I know why I hated school so much. I thought I was losing my mind. Why didn't anyone tell me?"

"Honey." I felt her hand rest over me above the blanket, and in response, I flattened a little more as much as I could. She sighed, "It's going to be fine. They won't get to you here. I promise. You won't be left unguarded for a second."

I cried the entire time she spoke, curled into the smallest ball I could manage to fold myself into. I could feel the bed bounce a little with each heartbroken sob I gave. I couldn't calm down.

"I know how worried you are. I know, but I'm sure lack of sleep has a lot to do with that."

"No, Jack has everything to do with that." I mumbled, curling tightly in my ball, "I can't see him again. I can't. I _can't_."

"I know." She sighed, "But please-"

"You don't _know_."

"Please." She murmured, "Try to rest."

"I don't want to die." I whimpered again, and her hand stayed rested over the blanket on me, "You don't know what they're like, Esme. You don't know.. Y-You don't know what they'll do to me."

"We will protect you, honey." She told me, "They're not going to reach you. Not here. Not while I'm here."

I decided to stop talking then. My sobs the only response she got.

"I still think it'd be the best day ever when they decide to try." Emmett's voice in the doorway took my attention, "I can't wait."

"Emmett." Esme scolded lightly.

"What?" He asked, "One of these days, they're going to get pissed because we're always one step ahead, and they're going to make a wrong move. When that happens, they're done for."

**A/N: I feel bad for her. :(  
THANK YOU to those that left me your thoughts last chapter! THANK YOU! :D Amazing. Simply awesome. :D  
I know a lot of people were hoping for a change in the story so far, but I sort of liked the way the storyline. It just needed a butt-load of editing and changing, and I haven't come up with a way to change it for the better, but we'll see.  
Nine may take a couple days, as I have to go over it again, but I won't take too long with it. I promise. :)  
Until Nine, my friends!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

"Leandra, honey, pay attention." Esme caught me before I could trip, stumbling over a board that stuck slightly out from the pile in front of me, "Watch out."

I'd been so busy looking up and around at this room, that I hadn't seen the obstacle in front of me.

"Sorry." I mumbled, sitting on the pile of boards, "I'm sorry."

"It's alright, sweetie." She assured me, "Just be careful."

Needless to say, I couldn't stay hidden under my blanket forever like I wanted to.

Esme had seemed perfectly fine letting me stay there, but Carlisle helped me come out. Carlisle had stayed home all day that day, and that was the only way I came out at all. He knew how scared I was, to act the way I did, and he knew how hard that was for me to hear. Though it was something I _had_ expected, actually having it confirmed was something completely different.

I wound up coming out that same night, if only to eat, but I wound up sitting with Emmett. I was safe anywhere in the house, but I felt safest with him. Where I eventually fell asleep.

Sunday was spent in fear, yet again, and Monday, I had no choice but to go with Esme. As much as I didn't want to leave the house behind, or the safety it offered, I also desperately wanted a distraction. She was taking me to see the house today. There'd be nobody else there today, just us, so I could get some of the unwinding time I needed.

I knew Esme would protect me just as much as Emmett would, so I had nothing to worry about. I did worry, however, at first. Until I saw just how isolated this house was.

It really was a beautiful house.

Even without being redone yet, I could see why she liked it so much. The scenery around it was enough to make this old building seem twice as beautiful as it was. The exterior of the house was made of a light gray, painted brick and wood, but the paint was long passed the peeling stage. Weathered, and pretty old, it had a creepy sort of beauty about it.

The windows had no glass to them anymore, and it was at least two stories tall. It had definitely seen better days.

The second week in November was starting warm, but it was supposed to get colder next week. It was pretty chilly outside today, but still nice out with the sunlight falling in through the pane-less windows, and across the dusty floor.

"It's so quiet here." I pointed out quietly, looking around the vacant room. Aside from the chirping birds outside in the trees, there was no sound.

"That's one of its best features, don't you think?" Esme asked from across the room, beside the large, empty fireplace. I nodded lightly, "I thought you might like it."

It seemed like a very nice place to go to just space out for awhile. Away from everything else, and the many people in town, but somehow, it made me reflect on the major differences between home, and this place. Back home, in Forks, there really wasn't much I had to worry about. Here, there was so much more danger than there. Things I had to be wary of.

Back there was safe. Here, I didn't feel so safe. My stomach hurt just thinking about it.

"It's too bright here." I mumbled, my eyes finding the streaks of sunlight coming in through the windows, "I miss home." The dust particles playing a game of chase in the breeze, the sunlight illuminating each fleck individually.

"I know, honey." She replied, "I just wish you'd try to adjust."

"I am." I sighed, "And I guess it's not all bad, but I still miss home. I miss the sound of the rain." I stood back up, and slowly crossed the dusty floor to the window. Looking out over the vacant, overgrown property.

I figured this place was far enough out of the way that I didn't need to worry about anyone finding me that I didn't want to find me. I felt safer here, because it was so far from town.

"I'm going to go look around outside." I mumbled, and she smiled a little.

"Just be careful." Like she really needed to tell me.

This house was also on a hill, but not as large, or as steep of one. The trees, and underbrush were much different than what home had, but I was curious. I slowly stepped down the slight hilly slope, and crossed some groups of trees, to an embankment.

To my surprise, finding a small stream.

Almost big enough to be considered a river, but the slow flowing water took my attention, because it was clear. I could see the stones at the bottom. The water wasn't very deep at all, maybe a few inches, but certainly less than a foot.

The water flowed from left to right, carrying with it leaves and sometimes a stick or two. I squatted beside it, on the muddy leaves, balanced on my feet as I reached out. Touching the icy water as it flowed by. It felt nice to rinse my hands this way. Cooling me off and calming me down at the same time.

I was really starting to like it here. It reminded me more of home than where we lived. Probably because of the way the trees sheltered me, blocking a lot of the sun, and the earthy smell of the foliage around me and the stream in front of me. I could almost breathe out here.

I'd be out here every single day if we lived in a place like this. It was a little chilly, but not too bad. Warmth almost reached me, even in the shade. This would be perfect. I wouldn't mind this.

That calm was almost smashed moments later.

I stood up quickly as I listened to the sound of movement across the stream from me, in the underbrush as it rustled. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw what it was.

Just a stupid cat.

A normal house-cat, with longer, matted fur. It was probably a stray, given how ragged it looked. Multicolored. Brown, tan and white. A little bit of gray mixed in with the tan patches. It saw me standing there, smelled my direction and continued on with what it was doing. Sniffing the ground a bit before padding forward and crouching by the stream to drink.

Since I didn't move, that must have told the feral animal that I was alright. It was jumpy, though, just like I always was. Easily startled, I noticed, as I squatted back down, and it jumped. Nearly bolting, but stayed where it was. Tail twitching.

"I'm not gonna bother you." I mumbled, and as if it knew English, it continued to drink. Wary now, it watched me. When it was done, it sniffed the air again, sneezed lightly, and walked off almost bored. Back in the direction it had come.

I couldn't stop thinking about that cat as I stayed there. Watching and listening to the water flow by. I sort of wished it would come back. I liked watching it, but it was probably long gone. Off doing cat things, like climbing trees and killing smaller animals.

Reaching down, I dug a stone from the soggy soil under the water, and rinsed it off. It was perfectly flat, and kind of oval. Smooth, and sort of a lighter tanish gray color. I liked it, and it reminded me of the cat, so I thought I'd keep it.

I stayed down by the stream for a little longer, following its path through the trees that only grew denser as I walked. It was clear that nobody had been out this way in a very long time. The sunlight filtered through the nearly completely brown and red leaves, making shadows across the narrow path beside the stream, and played off the water brightly. Reaching up, and pushing branches aside so I didn't have to walk through them.

Beside the stream up ahead, was a bigger boulder stuck partially out of the ground. Directly behind it was a mature tree, so I decided to sit there to rest for a minute before I had to turn around, and go back the other way.

Sitting there for a few minutes, I didn't even notice the bug that had made its way onto my shirt from the tree behind me. Until I did, and it startled me into jumping up with a loud yelp.

Thankfully, I didn't smash it, as when I calmed down, it was kind of cute.

It looked exactly like a thin, brown stick. But it moved. It walked around on four, very skinny legs, and I almost dropped it when I scooped it off my shirt with my hand, but it held on. Gripping the side and fingers of my hand so it didn't go flying. It was the weirdest looking little bug I'd ever seen.

Sighing, I let it walk back onto the tree. It seemed grateful to be on the tree again, as odd as it sounded. It seemed to be able to grip the bark better than it could grip my hand.

I watched it for a moment, it blending it quite well with the tree, before I turned. Heading back for the house. Dusting off my jeans and hands as I walked.

I found the cat again, though. It had crossed the stream, and was standing between where I stood and the house, so I stopped. I didn't want to scare it, so I wasn't sure what to do. I didn't feel like fighting my way through the thick underbrush and overgrown trees just to go around the cat.

I squatted down, and called it to me. Reaching my fingers out to it. To my immense surprise, it wandered closer with a purring meow. It seemed nice enough at first, and even let me pet it a little. Its fur definitely felt dirty, and I kept my right hand resting on my folded knee as I pet it with my left, so it didn't get nervous.

I let it sniff me until it had its smell, and it even purred a little more as it wandered around me. Sniffing plants, and snuggling its cheek up against a thick branch or two. I wondered briefly how long it'd been out here on its own.

But when I tried to pick it up, that was a whole different story.

With a growling hiss, it gave me a decent scratch diagonally across my right cheek, and I dropped it in response. From the bridge of my nose, almost to my jaw, I felt the burning sting in more than one spot. It landed on its feet, springing away in what was clearly a 'Hell no' reaction.

"Bastard!" I called after it as it scrambled further away, "Fuck you, too." It looked back at me, its tail furiously whipping back and forth. I reached up, touching the painfully stinging wounds, pulling back fingers lightly painted with blood.

"Ow.." I muttered. After a few swipes, it was done bleeding, so I knew it wasn't bad. Probably just a warning. Thinking about it, I was just glad the stupid thing hadn't managed to scratch my eye. The cat watched me do this. Though I felt bad for yelling at it, it wouldn't come near me again and I was just fine with that.

I sighed, knowing Esme was going to be worried about it.

I rinsed off the scratch with the stream water, making sure there wasn't any residual blood, and the water felt nice on it. I hadn't even noticed until then how the cat's back claws got my forearm as well. Four good gashes in a row, until they bent in another direction where it had pushed off. Much deeper, and I hoped the ones on my face weren't as bad. I hadn't been able to see those ones yet.

Wandering back inside, I found Esme easily, and just as I figured, she wasn't happy.

"What happened?" She asked, moving forward to look over my face.

"Some stupid cat." I answered, "I guess it didn't want to be picked up."

"Did it bite you?" She asked, and I frowned a little. Bite? Wasn't scratching bad enough?

"No." I said, "It just scratched me." That seemed to ease her a little, but she sighed.

With a quick call to Carlisle, he said all that needed to be done was to just clean the wounds before they closed too much. He couldn't leave the hospital, as it was busy there, but Esme assured him it was fine. She could handle taking care of me.

"Naturally." Emmett commented as soon as he saw me once we got home, "You find the closest wild animal to maul you."

"Shut up." I grumbled as Esme led me toward the bathroom.

It didn't take long to do, and it didn't hurt too bad to clean the deeper wounds on my arm, or even the ones on my face. Just a slight sting, really. She covered the scratches on my arm with gauze taped into place, since they were too big for a bandage, but the ones on my face would be difficult to cover.

Once that was done, I asked if we were going back.

"Not today, honey." Esme answered, "We can't keep going out during the day. It's far too risky."

"I'm sorry." I felt bad, for ruining her day there.

"It's not your fault." She laughed a little, "I'm just glad you're okay."

It had been awhile, so I decided then to type out an e-mail to Josh.

To my surprise, however, instead of only the reply to my reply, there was another e-mail from him in my inbox. Asking for my address again, since he lost the paper he'd written it down on before deleting the e-mail. He said it should have been right on the desk where he always kept it, and an admittance that he hadn't seen it for awhile.

I sat there, thinking for a moment. Biting my lip as I twirled a little in the chair. That bothered me, but I couldn't figure out why.

"What's wrong, shorty?" Emmett stepped in, seeing my expression.

"Josh can't find the paper with our address written on it." I replied quietly.

"Yeah," Emmett snorted, "His grandfather has it now." The way he said that made it suddenly clear. He was right. How else could he possibly have known my exact location so easily? Any other time, it would have taken him quite a bit longer than just a few weeks to find me.

Sitting forward, I started on my reply to Josh. I didn't mind Emmett standing behind me. I wasn't exactly trying to hide anything.

I asked Josh if he'd seen Ken lately, in an undemanding tone. Whatever tone text could have.

"You really think I'm right?" Emmett asked me.

"I guess it doesn't really make a difference how they found out where I was, but it should have taken them a lot longer to find me than it did." I muttered, sending the e-mail, "I've been freaking out since before we left, and it all started pretty much as soon as Carlisle tried to make me go to school there."

"Go on." He seemed interested.

"Jack's known where I was for a long time." I continued, "He has ways. Strings he can pull wherever he goes. Like I'm supposed to believe I was safe at that school. I don't know when I'm going to stop being surprised when my instincts are warning me, but I'm sick of it." I stood up, taking a breath, "Fuck!"

I whined, covering my face briefly. I felt too much stress, and I wasn't doing a very good job hiding it. I was one more straw away from crumbling. Emmett, watching me with what looked to be concern, spoke up.

"That cat got you good." He muttered, reaching forward.

"Don't touch it." I said, "My face will fall off." He paused for a second, surprised until he laughed and let his hand drop.

"What a creepy, and very disturbing thing for you to say." He replied with another chuckle, but I wasn't finding the humor.

"I try."

"How'd you make it do that?" He asked, leaning against the door frame beside me.

"I tried to pick it up." I muttered bitterly, "It didn't like that."

"Well, wouldn't you scratch some strange person who tried to pick you up?" He asked, and I thought. Waking up to Mikah picking me up, and the warning I gave him.

"Yeah." I admitted, "I would."

"I'd like to think you wouldn't go quietly." He said, "If I know you, you'd give that bastard one hell of a fight." He sighed as I stepped passed him to leave the room. Turning to follow me, "You should have told Josh to send a picture of him."

"Ken?" I asked and he nodded, "They've been around, but you don't know what they look like?"

"We know they're around, only because Alice has mentioned it once or twice." He answered, "We haven't been able to find them yet." That made sense, "We just don't know who we're looking for. That makes it a hell of a lot harder."

"Just follow their scent." I suggested, "Can't you find them that way?"

"Alice's visions don't give scents." Emmett shook his head a little, "She only knows what they look like."

"Mine did." I argued, "I remember that much."

"Yours are probably more realistic to you, because you're from a newer generation." Alice's reply took my attention. I looked over as Alice and Jasper descended the stairs. They stopped, hesitating by the stairs, and I knew why. The scratch across my face was a little bigger than a paper cut, and still pretty fresh. Although I had to admit. I was almost tempted to beg Jasper to kill me.

"Mine are real in the fact that I can see what they're going to do." Alice added, "You actually experience everything in the vision. Sight, touch, smell, even if it doesn't involve you."

"Mine always involve me." I corrected quietly, "I've never had one that doesn't."

"Maybe your gift is centered only around you?" She frowned a little, "Like a defensive ability? That could be why yours are so much more real to you. That could be your limitation."

"That doesn't help me now, does it?" I mumbled, sitting down, "That's actually more of a pain in the ass."

"I can definitely see how that will be a problem the more she develops her gift." Jasper spoke up, "Especially if she crosses a vision with a less than.. Pleasant outcome."

"Yeah, tell me about it." I grumbled. Too late for that one, wasn't it?

"That also explains why she's having such a hard time." Esme spoke up from where she now stood behind the couch. I hadn't even seen her enter the room, "The memory of the vision is just as real, and she's trying so hard to remember."

"I don't have enough room in my head." I mumbled, "And I don't know what to do to fix that. Well," I corrected as an afterthought, "I do, but I'm not going to even mention that, because that's definitely not an option. The last thing we need right now is for Aro to show up early. I could go the rest of my life without seeing him."

I sighed, looking back down. Whimpering as I ran my fingers into my hair and held on.

I had too much on my shoulders now. There was Alyssa, and her entire situation. Trying to decide whether or not to betray her trust by telling someone about her bruises before they faded. There was trying to figure out why her mother would treat her children that way. There was trying to figure out what, if anything, I could do to make it easier on her.

There was facing school tomorrow, but I didn't feel any more up to it than I had on Sunday. With knowing how many people would be asking about my new scratches, and now there were the two psychos intent on getting a hold of me.

Ithaca was a huge city.

Even if they did search for them, my family or the police, it'd take forever to find them with as many humans as there were in this city. Especially with my family having to live their lives around the position of the sun.

I couldn't take this much stress for very long.

"Don't worry so much, shorty." Emmett noticed, "You're still a kid."

"It doesn't feel that way to me." I replied quietly, "It really doesn't. I just.. I don't know what to do."

"I know it seems like a lot, but it's really not." Alice told me, and I looked her way.

"It really is a lot." I corrected her.

"What I mean is that you have all of us committed to keeping you safe." She explained, "Without physically going to that school, and pulling you out, they can't get to you. And the first fit you throw, they'll know something's not right."

"Doesn't mean they'll do anything." I muttered, "And who knows? They might not even care. Pay enough money, anybody will look the other way."

"Surely not." Esme murmured, surprised, "Not when it comes to children."

"It's true." I replied, "It happens all the time. I know Jack, and he'll find a way around anything. He's very good at getting away with whatever he wants, and he changes the rules of the game at any time. This is all just a game to him. One I have no idea how to win."

It was quiet for a moment, and I looked down with a heavy sigh. I hated the truth of my own statement. I had the worst feeling that they were still not getting it.

Jack was someone determined and angry. Driven to find me, and make me pay for ruining his life. They weren't getting it. They just didn't know what I'd done by running, much less confessing to everything he did.

"Fuck!" I shouted again, kicking the coffee table in front of me at the same time.

"Leandra," Alice spoke up, "Just breathe. Calm down."

"I'm running out of time." I looked to her, "You have no idea."

"No you're not." She replied, "He's never getting anywhere near you." I sobbed miserably, folding forward and hiding my face. The space beside me became occupied, and by the smooth of my hair, I knew it was Esme.

"You don't know what he'll do." I whimpered, shaking my head, "You have no idea how bad it can get. They know right where I am, without a scent for you to look for. I might as well just go jump in front of the nearest bus."

"Don't start that." Jasper corrected sharply.

"It'd be a lot faster and a lot less painful than letting them catch me." I replied, still not bothering to look up.

"You're just freaking yourself out, shorty." Emmett told me, "That seems to be a habit of yours."

"I was right to be afraid of school." I muttered, "You know that, because I told you why."

"But you don't have to be afraid here." He pointed out, "We'll figure this out. Until then, try not to fall apart."

"A little late for that." I whimpered, finally looking up. I looked over, though, as the front door opened. Carlisle stepping inside.

"I came as soon as I could." He sighed, his gaze finding the scratches immediately. He was suddenly beside me, looking over my face.

"They don't hurt anymore." I told him, "Esme took care of them. You didn't have to come back."

"Leandra, I'm sorry." He murmured, "I know I've been gone so often lately."

"It's okay." I replied. Why should he have to apologize?

"But it's not." He corrected, "I suppose I've been attempting to bury myself under as much work as much as possible. I'm not used to being needed so much."

"It's okay." I repeated, frowning a little, "I didn't get that hurt."

"But if you had?" He asked, "I wouldn't have been there." I winced a little, looking down. He did have a point. What would have happened if it'd been a badger, or raccoon or something instead of a cat? We were pretty far out there. I hadn't even thought of that.

"I'll be around more often." He finally said.

"You don't have to do that." I immediately replied, "I'll just.. Stay away from cats. Or at least not try to pick them up like a dummy." I wouldn't mind the thought of Carlisle being around more often. Not one bit, but I didn't want to be the reason he stopped doing the things he wanted to do.

"Carlisle?" Alice spoke up in the silence that followed.

"I left a message." He answered her, despite her not having really asked, "I wouldn't doubt she's pretty busy." I wanted to ask who they were talking about, but I kept quiet. If they'd wanted me to know, they'd have told me.

I didn't even ask to stay home. I felt bad enough for getting so much in the way, so the next morning, I was right back at school. I doubted asking to stay home would have worked anyway. I would have just been told that I didn't have anything to worry about, with very little to say in the matter. That, or Alice used the time I was out of the way to look for Jack.

Outside the school, I stood there for a moment. Looking around for Alyssa. It wasn't often that I actually had to look for her, as she was normally always right where I could find her. Behind me, I vaguely noticed from the corner of my eye when Carlisle drove away.

"Alex." I spotted him. He turned from where he stood talking with a couple of his friends, looking to me. Smiling a little as I approached, "Where's Alyssa?"

He gave his own glance around, "I don't know. She's not over there?"

"No." I replied, puzzled.

It took climbing up onto a trash can and a few more glances around for me to find her. She stood there on the sidewalk at the very end of the drop-off area talking to someone in a car. It seemed like she was just wrapping up whatever conversation she was having, as she stepped back and the car drove away. She didn't seem upset, so I wasn't that worried.

I hopped down from my perch on the trash can, and started her direction.

"Hey." I called her attention, and she looked up.

"Hey." She greeted in return, "Where were you yesterday?"

"Sorry." I muttered, finally reaching her side and turning to follow her, "Long story."

"What happened to your face?" She wondered, and I forced a small laugh. I had a feeling I'd be getting asked this question a lot today.

"Cat." I answered. Glancing back, the car was long gone, "Who was that?"

"Who was what?" She asked.

"Who were you just talking to?" I clarified, "In the car?"

"Nobody." She replied, shaking her head. That bugged me, but I didn't say anything. Peering over, she laughed, "What'd you do to the cat to make it scratch you like that?"

"Tried to pick it up."

"Oh, was it wild?" She asked, and I nodded, "Lucky it didn't bite you. You could have gotten rabies or something." That explained Esme's concern about the same thing.

"Nope." I replied, "It didn't bite me. Just got pissed I tried to pick it up." I lifted my sleeve, showing her the bandaged area of my arm.

"Hey, Leandra." It was Brianna, "What happened?" She gestured to my face.

"I wrestled a bear." I answered, "You should have seen it."

"If it had been a bear, you'd be in ribbons." She laughed a little.

As the day wore on, I got more creative with my stories. Anything from aliens, to various animals, to skydiving, to jumping through a window of a burning bus to save a little stray puppy from cooking to death.

It was nice to have a distraction from my thoughts today. I'd have to get hurt more often. By having a bit of my own fun was the only way I managed to make it through all the questions. I was far more tolerant than I would have been if I hadn't. I knew better than to lie to the teacher, though, when he asked. Besides Alyssa, he was the only one I answered truthfully.

As usual, we sat outside after eating lunch. What wasn't usual, was the way that Alyssa seemed really, really distracted the entire time. In a hurry to eat, and get outside. Hardly focusing on anything I said, until she jumped up from beside me. Puzzled, I looked up at her. She never went anywhere without me, and as far as I knew, she had nowhere to be.

"Stay." She told me, "I'll be right back." I watched after her, completely confused. She ran across the grass, to the far side of the area and to the fence separating the field from the street. What the hell was going on with her?

"Leandra?" Alex found me. It surprised me, because normally, he followed around a couple of other boys during lunch. I stood up, watching him approach.

"Hey." I greeted him.

"I think there's something wrong with my sister." He told me, and I frowned, "She's acting really weird." I'd noticed the same thing.

"Weird how?" I asked, though I was pretty sure I had an idea.

"She runs off." He replied, "Like the last two days, she just runs off. Won't tell any of us where she's going, or what she's doing. Gone for hours, and whenever I ask about it, she tells me nothing."

"Huh." I muttered, frowning again. I looked back, toward Alyssa still standing by the fence. Except there was a car there now. The same car I'd seen her talking to that morning. Emmett's warnings about strangers started to crawl through my mind, and I was suddenly so sure she was falling for it. Just like on the movie. I definitely wasn't standing around, waiting for that to happen to her.

"Alyssa." I called, but I wasn't close enough. I looked to Alex, "Hold on. Stay here." He nodded a little. I started across the grass, her direction. I didn't get more than five steps before their conversation closed, and she stepped back.

"Hey." I wasn't pleased this time. She turned to look at me as the car drove off, "Who was that, Alyssa?"

"Nobody." She replied again, but I took her arm as she tried to walk passed me.

"Who was that?"

"Nobody." She repeated, sighing, "Don't worry about it."

"You don't know them, do you?" I demanded, "Don't you remember the movie?"

"That was just a movie." She rolled her eyes, "Just because it scared you-"

"But that stuff happens." I countered, ignoring her sharp reply.

"It's no big deal-"

"Then what do they want?" I asked, "What's their name?"

"None of your business." She was getting defensive, and my tone probably didn't help that any.

"Don't be stupid." I snapped, "Whatever they want, it's nothing good."

"I'm not stupid." She crossed her arms, "Just because you want to hide away all the time doesn't mean I have to."

"Well, fine then." I frowned, "Don't come crying to me when you get picked up and never come back." I moved to walk away.

"How could I cry to you if I never came back?" She countered, and I shook my head.

"It's not funny!" Now I understood how frustrating it was for someone to be sarcastic when arguing with them. I promised myself not to do that anymore.

"Come on," She said, "It was a little funny. I don't know what you're getting so worked up about. They're nice to me."

"They're probably some psycho."

"Leandra." She muttered, "Do you really think I'm that stupid? I know what I'm doing."

"No, you don't." I shook my head, "You have no idea what you're doing."

She sighed, giving me a look, "I don't want to fight with you."

I crossed my arms, looking down with a sigh of my own, "Just.. Be careful. Be careful who you suddenly start talking to. There are some.. Not so good people hanging around here."

"Don't even worry about it." She repeated, shaking her head. I didn't like it, but I stopped arguing with her. I didn't want to be mad at her.

I wasn't eased, but after lunch, I never got the chance to ask her about it. Almost immediately after getting back into class, I was reminded what day it was. I whined to myself as the school's guidance counselor, Mrs. Haynes, stepped into the room.

"Leandra." Mr. Kline called for me, knowing why she was here, and I stood up with a deep sigh. I never had to bring any of my stuff with me, so I just kicked my backpack over to Alyssa to keep watch of. I doubted anyone would mess with it, but I liked to be careful.

"Have fun." Alyssa offered.

"Oh yeah." I grumbled, "I can hardly wait."

Mrs. Haynes gave me a smile as she took my shoulder in her hand, leading me from the room. I always hated this. Everything about this, but mostly the coming by to collect me thing, but she also knew I wouldn't show up on my own.

"Good afternoon, Leandra." She smiled, closing the door behind us and starting up the hall. I kept my eyes down, "I missed you yesterday. How was your weekend?"

I kept my silence as we rounded the corner, straight into her office.

"I thought I wasn't supposed to come here anymore?" I asked, looking up at her as she closed her office door.

"She speaks." Mrs. Haynes laughed a little.

"Only when I want to." I replied, "Why do I still have to come here?"

"Yes," She sat down in her seat behind her desk, "Your father did request that we make these visits a little less frequent, but they're not stopped altogether."

No biggie. I'd just keep ignoring her. I shrugged, choosing one of the two plush chairs off to the side and flopped down.

"How was your weekend?" She asked again, "Do anything fun?" Nothing. I knew the routine by then. At least she had plenty of interesting things around her office to look at. Posters or pictures hanging on the walls. Or the window beside me, the blinds always open gave a good view of this part of the city.

"What happened?" She seemed concerned, but I doubted her concern deeply. I looked to her, and realized she'd noticed the scratches. I shouldn't have been surprised, as everyone else had noticed them already, but dammit, she found one question I had to answer.

"Cat." I mumbled, but that was all she needed to know.

"I see." She nodded a little, "Why did a cat scratch you?" I wanted to have a little fun with her, and tell her that it scratched me because I was trying to kill it, but I really didn't think she'd find the humor. I looked back out the window instead.

Eventually, after enough silence, she sighed.

"I'm trying to help you." She told me quietly, "You don't have to be afraid." Nothing. I didn't even look at her. I listened to the tick of the clock on the wall, watching the birds in the small tree outside and to the right of the window.

She sighed again, "Tell me about your old school." I glanced to her, frowning a little, "What happened there?" She'd never asked about this before. This was completely new. Normally, she tried a lot harder to get me to talk about stupid stuff like class and the other kids.

"Which one?" I cursed myself silently. Replying only made her think I'd talk.

"The one you never actually got to go to." She replied, "What happened there?"

"Nothing." I muttered, looking back out the window.

"Attacking other students is nothing?"

"Yup." I replied, "Why do they have a record of that if I never went there? They shouldn't even know my name if I never actually went there."

"Why'd you do it, Leandra?" She asked, and I shut up again. I knew better than to talk to her. I didn't need to talk to her. I was just fine without talking to her, but if I talked to her, there was a good chance I wouldn't be fine anymore.

"It seems to be a pattern of yours, doesn't it?" She asked, again gaining my glance, "Attacking others."

"I haven't done it since that day." I grumbled.

"Have you wanted to?"

"Yes."

Dammit!

"Look." I said before she could speak, "I don't like you. Can I go back to class now?"

"Look." She repeated, and I waited, "I'm going to be frank with you, since you finally decided to grace me with your responses. I'm noticing a definite pattern here."

"Yeah?" I grumbled back, "I'm _really_ happy for you, but that doesn't make me like you."

"What is your life like at home, Leandra?" She rested her hands on her desk, obviously interested in that answer. I just blinked in surprise.

"What?" I asked, unable to really understand. Why would she ask about that?

"Tell me about your home life." She requested, "How are you treated there?" She had to be out of her mind. I understood what she was getting at, and I didn't like it one bit.

"Is that a joke?" I couldn't help my sharp tone.

"Not at all." Her tone was less sharp, but far more serious. My eyes narrowed so she sighed and turned to her computer, opening a file and scrolling through it. I was about to get pissed when she spoke again, "Not a single problem between Kindergarten and fourth grade. Not an issue in sight. Maybe a few lower grades, but nothing serious." She was looking through my record.

"You're pulled out toward the end of fourth grade, and placed in a new home." She pointed out, "Back in September, an attempt is made to enroll you in Forks Elementary, and suddenly, you're attacking people. You're enrolled here, and your second day of school didn't even have a chance to start before you're doing the same thing. You've made almost no progress with social interaction, you refuse to talk to Mr. Kline or myself, and as I understand it, have created some.. Fairly terrifying works of art in his class. Do you see my concern?"

"Fuck off." I snapped, standing up, "You don't know what you're talking about."

"Your record doesn't lie, Leandra." She told me before I could leave the room, "I need an answer, I'm afraid."

"Or what?" I rounded, glaring at her from behind the chair.

"Why are you such an angry person so suddenly?" She asked, "Leandra, if you're being mistreated there, I can do something about that." I took a deep breath, hating this woman more than I'd ever hated her before.

"The entire time I've known my family," I started, my tone a forced even, "I've never, _ever_ been treated better by anyone in my life. They're the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me, and you're telling me I'm not being treated right by them? I think I know the goddamn difference!"

"I'm not saying that at all." She clearly didn't believe me. She smiled a little at me, probably in an attempt to calm me down, but I couldn't believe her nerve. How dare she? She had no clue what the hell she was talking about, and she needed to be careful what she said to me, or she was getting something sharp thrown at her. Somehow, I got the impression that that was exactly what she wanted.

She spoke again, "I only see what your record is telling me-"

"What is wrong with you?" I snapped, "If people like you had looked closer to begin with, I might not be as fucked up as I am. If you're looking for some abused kid, you won't find her anymore. If you're looking for someone who abuses kids anywhere in that family, you're looking in the _wrong_ place, lady."

"People like me?"

"Teachers." I clarified, "Someone in charge that is supposed to pay attention when there's something wrong with someone like me. I've been overlooked more times than some pebble on the ground, so don't you go telling me you-"

"I'm just trying to do my job." She said, and she smiled again at my silence, "I'm not so sure I like what I'm seeing, to be honest. I'm _quite _concerned." She didn't seem concerned. Not in the least. She seemed interested, but not concerned. She was smiling, for crying out loud.

"Please," She said, "Sit back down so we can keep talking."

I didn't know what to say to that. I spluttered for a moment, unable to find a curse word strong enough to cover the way I felt toward her, before I settled on a growl and turned. Storming toward the door. I heard her sigh, but she didn't try to make me stay.

I had more important things to worry about than some smug school counselor poking her big, fat nose in where it didn't belong. Who the fuck did she think she was to even hint at accusing them that way?

I winced a little as her office door closed quite a bit harder behind me than I meant for it to, and the sound echoed for a few seconds in the empty hallway around me.

I returned to class a lot angrier than I had been when I left it. Enough to silence Mr. Kline in whatever he was talking about as I found my desk again and sat in a fit of fury.

Nobody asked, but Alyssa watched me as Mr. Kline continued.

"What happened?" She asked in a whisper.

"Just tell me who it is." I couldn't help bringing it up. She seemed surprised, probably not expecting that subject to come up again. I was more adamant this time. Almost demanding the answer to that.

"I can't tell you." She whispered in return.

"Why not?" I asked.

I felt even less okay with this now, which I didn't know was possible. The fact that she thought she couldn't tell me about them was a really bad sign. Anybody knew that. That was common fucking sense. She never even told her family about them.

Did they tell her not to tell, or did she just convince herself that she couldn't? Was that their rule, or hers? Either way, it didn't smell right to me, and it made me very edgy.

"I just can't." She muttered.

"I have to know." I insisted. I just wasn't accepting that as an answer.

"Leandra." Mr. Kline chuckled from the front, "Now's not the time for chit-chat."

"I know, but she just won't stop talking to me." I replied, looking pointedly at Alyssa. Her surprised expression was pretty amusing, but now she knew I meant business.

"Both of you, please pay attention."

"Sorry, Mr. Kline." Alyssa muttered. He turned back to the whiteboard, continuing on with whatever stupid math problem he was explaining. The second he started talking again, I looked to Alyssa.

"Tell me." I hissed, and she glared at me.

"I already said I can't." She whispered, "Leave me alone about it."

"Tell me." I repeated, "I have to know who it is."

"Stop it."

"If you don't tell me, I'm going to Mikah." I warned, and she turned so quick, I jumped. Quickly recovering, I added an explanation, "I think he deserves to know some psycho has made friends with his sister."

"They're not a psycho!" She was getting pissed, her heated whisper a little too loud. More mad than I'd ever seen her.

"Alyssa." Mr. Kline spoke right to her this time, "Do I need to move you?"

"Don't bother." She grumbled, gathering her stuff, "I'll move myself."

"I'll do it." I warned in a whisper before she could fully stand up and walk away. She just glared at me again, and I had to admit. She was pretty unnerving when she wanted to be, but I just glared right back at her. She found an empty desk in the back where she remained.

I didn't get a chance to talk to her again, and by the time school was done for the day, I was even more tense. It was too much of a coincidence. Too much. There were no coincidences when it came to Jack.

"Why can't you tell me?" I demanded outside the school.

"Leandra, I just can't." She sighed, "Why do you care so much?"

"It's important, okay?" I muttered, "Just tell me."

"Are you two fighting?" Alex mused from the side.

"Shut up, Alex." We both snapped at the same time. I hadn't meant to snap at him like that, but this had been a_ really_ bad afternoon. He grew a small grin, gave a nervous laugh, and backed up.

"O-Kay." He murmured, "I'll just.. Be.. Over here." He turned, heading a few more steps away. Alyssa and I looked to each other again.

"I meant what I said." I told her, "I will go to Mikah. If I have to wait at that store every day until I find him, I will."

"Just.." She was pissed again, "Don't. Don't do that."

"Why not?" I asked sharply, "Keeping things from him now, too?"

"It's not like that."

"I think I've proven by now that you can tell me anything." I reminded her firmly, "I haven't told a single person a single thing, and you know how much I _hate_ lying to my family. They deserve better than that from me."

"It's not about that." She replied, "I just can't."

"Fine then." I muttered, "All bets are off." Rounding on the spot, I stepped from the curb.

"Leandra." She called after me, but I continued on. I clearly heard her growl of frustration, and I barely suppressed my own. How infuriating could she possibly be?

Carlisle seemed puzzled, but I couldn't explain it yet. I hadn't been this pissed coming from school in a long while, so his curiosity was warranted.

"What happened, Leandra?" Carlisle asked me once we were securely in the car.

"She won't tell me." I reported incredulously, "I think by now I've proven that she can trust me. She should feel lucky I didn't hit her, just for being so damn stupid."

"What won't she tell you?" He asked.

"She won't tell me the name of the person in the car she's running off to see all the time." I grumbled, and he looked over, surprised as I continued, "She won't. She just tells me that she can't or not to worry about it. They were there this morning, before school started and during lunch."

"What does the car look like, Leandra?" He asked me.

"Shiny dark, dark blue." I answered, "Smaller than this one, but not really by much. I couldn't really see anything else, because I can't get close enough."

"Do you know what this person looks like?"

"No." I replied, "That's the problem. I've never seen them. If I could just see who it is, I wouldn't care so much, but both times, they've left before I could see anything about them. Alex says she's been running off whenever she can the last two days. She spends hours with them, and she won't even tell him about what she's doing while she's gone. With working and school, Mikah can't know about it on his own, either."

He was silent now, obviously thinking. I didn't want to interrupt him, but telling him about it made me feel better myself. I'd even say I felt a lot less pressure, and felt less like I was about to explode in frustration.

I was actually relieved when we got home. He'd know what to do about this, which was a relief since I sure didn't. I didn't want to bother Mikah with this, but if she wouldn't tell, he needed to know that she was up to something she shouldn't be. If I couldn't be a tattler about her mom, I had no choice but to be one about this. This seemed a lot more dangerous of a situation currently.

All she had to do was tell me who it was. That wasn't so damn hard. I was fuming, irritated beyond belief. She was up to something, that was for sure.

Before I could even get fully into the house, however, Carlisle finally spoke up.

"You're not going back there." He told me, and surprised, I looked up at him.

"What?" I asked, "Back where?"

"You're not going back to school." He replied.

"Like.. Ever?" I asked, even more surprised. Where did that come from?

"Until further notice, no."

This was such a huge change of events. I hadn't even requested to stay home, even though I knew how dangerous it was. I figured that was where I had to be, no matter what was wrong with it.

"You're staying home." He told me, "You're not going back." That gained everyone else's attention as well. They hadn't been expecting that any more than I had been.

"Carlisle?" Alice asked, shocked as she stood up from beside Jasper.

"Really?" I asked in disbelief, "B-But what about-"

"We'll deal with that when it comes up." He replied, "I'm not putting you in danger anymore. I won't sit around and wait for the day that you don't come back."

I couldn't help turning and hugging him. Even if it was the least of my worries, it was still a part of one of the biggest of my worries, and he just cleared that up. I almost couldn't believe it. It left me stunned, but amazed that I didn't have to leave anymore.

"Thank you." I whimpered, "Thank you."

"Carlisle." Alice spoke up again, and he glanced to her, "A word?" Carlisle sighed, but gave me a confident smile as I stepped back. I watched Alice and Esme lead him into the kitchen.

I couldn't help being nervous. Would she really try to change his mind?

"That was surprising." Jasper spoke up, taking my attention before I could worry too much, "Alice didn't even see that coming."

"I wonder why he would suddenly change his mind?" I mumbled.

"He sees as well as we all do what this tension is doing to you." Jasper replied, "If that's what it takes to ease at least a bit of worry for you, I'd have done the same thing."

"Then why is Alice so worried?"

"She's concerned about the possible consequences of such a rash decision." He answered, "That's all."

"What consequences?" I asked, unable to help it.

"She's concerned that pulling you out of school will teach you the wrong message." He explained, "How keeping up a fit for so long will always get you your way."

"That's not it at all." I mumbled, glancing toward the kitchen, before looking back to him, "I know fits don't always get me my way. I haven't even been throwing a fit anymore." I sighed, "I think it had something to do with what happened today."

"What happened?" Jasper asked.

"Alyssa made friends with someone." I muttered, "All I've ever seen is their car, never who's inside it. They were there this morning, and during lunch, but she won't tell me who it is." I sighed, "That reminds me. I have to talk to Mikah."

"What did the car look like?" Jasper asked, and I knew what he was thinking, because I was thinking the same thing.

"Could Alice see the car they're using?" I asked, "Does she know what it looks like? All I could see was that it looks a little smaller than Carlisle's car, but dark blue." Apparently, that meant something, because he sighed.

"It's them?" I whimpered.

"I don't know." Jasper answered, "Just hold on." He turned, heading for the kitchen as well. I knew the routine by now. They wanted to talk, so I laid my bag down beside the coffee table and sat down on the couch with a heavy sigh.

Emmett hadn't said a word yet, but I knew he was watching me.

"I know fits don't get me my way," I muttered, "So Alice doesn't need to worry about that. I wasn't even trying to stay home this time. I just thought Carlisle should know." Frowning, I gave a glance around, "Where's Esme?"

"She and Rose are at the other house." Emmett replied. Oh, right. I almost forgot about that place. Now that everyone had projects, it was a bit hard to keep up.

We sat there for several minutes while the others probably argued in the kitchen. I couldn't help really hoping that Carlisle stood by what he told me. It'd be really mean not to. Telling me that, getting my hopes up, before saying 'never mind'.

"Alright." Jasper eventually led the others back into the living room. I immediately rounded in my seat to watch him, "You'll be staying home until further notice. Until we know for sure whether or not it's safe for you there." I nodded a little, "As you stated, you weren't even expecting to stay home because of this." I shook my head, honestly surprised, "So Alice can be assured this won't become a habit."

"It won't." I replied, "I'd even still go if I had to."

"Boy, what a difference." Emmett chuckled a little, "Compared to when you first had to go?"

"I hate it there." I mumbled, "But you guys are way more stubborn than I am, so I just suffer through it."

"You seem to have made a friend there, shorty." Emmett offered and I looked down.

"Alyssa is just.. She's like me." I replied quietly, "We're not so different."

"What do you mean by that?" Jasper asked, catching on. Probably not completely, but I should have shut my mouth anyway.

"Well," I mumbled, "There's them, and there's us. We just get each other, I guess. We think the same way. I never knew before this passed weekend just how alike we were."

"On how many levels?" Jasper asked, studying me.

"Plenty." I answered, studying him right back. He seemed suspicious now, and I could see how he wasn't going to let it go, so I continued, "I promised I wouldn't say anything."

"Okay." He said, still suspicious, "But if it was something important, you'd let us know, wouldn't you?" I hesitated. This was pretty important, so I didn't know how to answer.

"Shorty?" Emmett prompted, and I looked down.

"Leandra?" Jasper took my attention again, "Please tell me you didn't tell her anything?"

"What? No." I said instantly, shaking my head as I looked to him, "No. I would never tell anybody anything. I swear." That seemed to ease him, "That.. That's always safe. No reason would ever be good enough to let that secret out. I know how important it is for me to keep it."

He nodded, and I sighed a little.

"Then what is it that makes you so nervous?" He asked.

"It's a secret of hers." I finally said, "Not yours." I sighed, looking down again, "One I promised to keep before I knew how bad it was." My tone reflected just how much this was bothering me. I knew that. I couldn't help it.

I had to think about it, though. If I were in her position, would I rather be safe? Or would I rather be stuck in the same, painful situation just because I was scared? I shook it off, though.

"I'm not even that worried about me over this whole unknown person thing." I mumbled, "I'm more worried about her. I don't want her to get hurt."

"If it is them, how would they know to approach her?" Alice wondered, "Of course, it could just be a coincidence, because I saw nothing related to her."

"You wouldn't if my mom was there too." I muttered, and she she looked down.

"This is frustrating." She finally admitted, and I nodded a little. I agreed with her.

"I think a visit should be paid to her house." Carlisle sighed, "I need to speak with her parents about this."

"Mikah." I corrected, shaking my head, "Talk to Mikah about it. I just want her to be safe, not.." I stumbled a little over the last word, falling quickly silent. Had I just _really_ been about to let that slip? Shit.

"What?" Jasper asked, and thankfully, he seemed cautiously confused.

"Her parents are pretty strict." I mumbled, "And Mikah could get the answer from her easier, anyway."

"Leandra?" He wasn't falling for it, and I knew why. Not only because of the little mention earlier, but I'd said the same thing about Jack as I said about her parents. They were strict.

"Just trust me." I shook my head again.

"Is he working today?" Carlisle asked, and knowing he was referring to Mikah, I sighed, slightly relieved.

"I don't know." I replied honestly, "But it's worth a look."

"I'd like to try speaking with Alyssa directly first." He told me, "Perhaps she can be persuaded into talking about it." That was probably a good idea. If I could keep from bothering Mikah with this, I'd like to.

"Okay." I sighed, shrugging, "But she probably won't tell you anything more than she told me."

"Leandra, about this secret.." Jasper wasn't letting it go, "This really worries you."

"It makes me nervous, because I don't know what to do." I admitted sadly, keeping my eyes down.

"If you promised before you knew, then how does that still obligate you to keep such a secret?" Emmett asked, concerned as well. They could tell.

"Because I re-promised." I mumbled, "I shouldn't have." I clenched my teeth, shaking my head. I was letting too much slip. My foot bounced nervously, and I hardly noticed.

"If it's that big of a secret, shorty, you need to say something." Emmett told me, "If it's bothering you this much-"

"It's not about me, though." I said, "It's not my job to tell anyone anything. It's hers. Can we just drop it?" I wanted to drop it, because I was telling them too many familiar things. It's her secret, not mine, was exactly what Alice said about mine to them. How were they not picking up the hints? Unless they were, and they just weren't letting me know.

"I'll get it out of you one of these days." Emmett challenged, and I appreciated his attempts to make a joke.

"I'm good at keeping secrets." I replied quietly, sadly looking back down, "It's what I do." Given the way his expression saddened, he understood what I was referring to. If only he knew how closely related Alyssa's secret was to the one I had the year before.

Sure, I could tell my close friend wasn't going through half of what I went through, given her nearly unshakable positive outlook on things, and her oblivious nature of how bad things could get, but I wasn't about to let that ease my worry any. I wasn't about comfort myself with the thought that it wasn't that bad, because it was still bad.

What she went through, sure wasn't exactly the same as what I'd gone through, but it was still bad. It wasn't supposed to happen. Kids weren't meant to be beaten, or yelled at, or forced into the position that Mikah had been forced into. They weren't meant to be left on their own, trying to find a way to keep their siblings alive.

However, her confiding in me put me into a position where no matter what, I felt like a horrible person. I had no right moves. Tell, and let her be mad at me for betraying her trust? Or keep my mouth shut, and let her suffer? I couldn't help thinking that this must have been the way Alice had felt. Knowing for sure, even without me saying anything, that something was wrong, but me completely unwilling to say a word about it. If she felt anything like the way I felt, I couldn't help feeling bad for putting her through that.

This was tough. I could tell it would get a whole lot harder to stay quiet if something were to happen.

"Leandra?" I looked back up at Carlisle's voice, "Would you like to come along?" I sighed, grateful for the escape from my own thoughts.

"We're kind of mad at each other." I replied, "She might not say much if I'm there."

"All the more reason to come along." He pointed out, "It'll give you a chance to apologize."

"She's the one being stupid." I muttered, "I don't see why I should have to say I'm sorry."

"Humor me?" He asked, and I sighed, but stood up.

Alice was coming along too, probably hoping she'd feel better about talking to her, so I was stuck in the back seat. It was going to be a lot longer of a trip by car, as we had to go the opposite direction and come back around.

"Carlisle?" I spoke up not long after we left home, and he glanced to me in the back seat, "That stupid counselor has it in for me, I think." He frowned.

"I thought I requested those visits to stop?"

"That's not what she said." I replied, "I had to see her again today."

"Odd." Carlisle muttered.

"She asked me how I was treated at home." I said, and that got his attention.

"Why?" He asked, "What exactly did she say?"

"She said that she's concerned, because the whole time I was living with Jack, I had no problems at school." I replied, "But ever since I lived with you, I had problems with school. How I'm such an angry person now."

I could tell by both Carlisle and Alice's silence that this wasn't good.

"What exactly did you say in reply?" He asked after a moment.

"It's hard to remember, because I was a little pissed off," I admitted, "But I told her that she had no reason to worry about you guys, and that.. Well, I told her the truth. That I'd never been treated better by anyone than I had with you. That you all were the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me." He stayed quiet with a nod. Alice looked to Carlisle, and I got the hint of worry in her eyes, so I spoke up again, "She can't do anything, can she?"

"Don't worry, Leandra." He replied, "I'm sure she was just looking too far into it."

"I told you I didn't like that bitch."

"Leandra." Alice corrected me, and I bit my lip.

"I'm glad I didn't hit her." I muttered, "I almost did, but I didn't. I left before I could."

"I'm also glad you didn't hit her." Carlisle admitted, "That probably wouldn't have helped the situation any."

"She deserved it." I replied, "I think she's just trying to give you a bad name. It's not fair."

"Deserved it or not, it wouldn't have helped." He replied, "Violence isn't always the answer, but I can say that I'm far more convinced pulling you out of that school is a good move."

"Me too, if I don't have to see her again." I replied. I knew it also couldn't hurt to let him know about that visit with Mrs. Haynes today. Just in case she did try to push her point. I hated to think about that possibility, but I was happy to give him a heads up.

From there, it was silent. Just thinking about Mrs. Haynes and her smile made me so mad. It grated on my nerves in an intense way.

Coming from another direction, I almost got a little lost, until I found the street and pointed it out. To my surprise, both Alex and Alyssa were out front when we pulled up. The evening pretty dim as it was, but they were both working on raking leaves around the front yard.

Carlisle stepped out first, and Alice next. She seemed confused, but not upset at their visit. Until I rolled down my window, and the second she saw me, she glared.

"You rat." She told me.

"I told you." I snapped in return, "I thought this would be easier than going to Mikah first."

She groaned, "Fine, I'll tell you. God, you're so pushy!" She rounded, looking to Alex, "Go inside."

"No." He laughed. She reached for the rake, and he immediately got moving, "Geez! I'm going, I'm going. Psycho." Darting up the steps, he jumped into the house and shut the door quickly behind him.

"I thought it'd be a good idea to explain our side of this." Carlisle spoke up, and by the way she looked at him, she was listening. He paused for a moment before speaking again, "Leandra is only worried about you."

"I know." She muttered, looking down.

"What you don't know, is that currently, someone is after her." He added, "Our concern, is that this person may be using you to try to get to her." Wow. Who would have ever thought telling her the truth might be a good way to go?

"Is that true?" She asked me, and hesitantly, I nodded. She sighed, "Well, you don't have to worry about that. I've known this person for a long time now." I frowned, so she went on.

"Last year, Sammy's then girlfriend and I became friends." She muttered, "Since Sunday, I've been helping her mom and dad work around their shop for a few hours every night to earn a little extra money. Her dad pays me twenty-five for what I do, and I put every cent into the grocery money box. Do you know how far an extra twenty-five bucks goes for food? Much less, fifty like so far.

"I couldn't tell you that before, because they could get into trouble for letting me work. I couldn't tell Alex anything, because he'd blab to Mikah, and Mikah wouldn't let me keep working. He'd say that I'm too young. Are you happy now?"

"Oh God." I sighed, leaning back. The relief was intense, and everything she said made perfect sense. She wouldn't lie about something like this anyway.

"Her mom came by this morning to tell me when she'll need me, and again during lunch to tell me never mind, to come tomorrow because she had deliveries today.

"I just do things like empty boxes, sort things, clean up a little and put stuff away for them." She explained, "Odd jobs that they get too busy to do sometimes. Please don't get them in trouble."

"I assure you, no one is going to get into trouble." Carlisle told her, and it was her turn to sigh.

"I just wanted to help out around here." She gestured lightly to the house behind her, "I'm plenty old enough to do odd jobs like that, and just for a few hours. Not like all day or anything like that. I didn't know it'd be such a big deal."

"You could have just said it was a friend's parents." I muttered.

"And would you have believed me?" She asked, "You made such a big deal out of it right from the start, I don't think you would have believed anything except a full answer."

She did have a point, and I looked down.

She sighed, "See you at school tomorrow?"

"Well, I.." I really didn't know. Was Carlisle still going to keep me home?

"Not for awhile." Carlisle answered her for me, "I'm concerned about her safety there."

"This person that's after her.." Alyssa mumbled, "Is it Jack?" I kept my gaze down. When nobody replied, she took that as an answer and spoke again, "It's bad, isn't it?"

"It's not good." Alice replied.

"Maybe I can help somehow." Alyssa suggested, "I don't know how, but I want to help."

"That's generous," Alice smiled a little, "But you don't need to worry. We'll take care of it. We just want you to be careful when you're going places."

"I'm always careful now." She admitted, "I won't be that stupid again."

Behind her, the front door opened. I recognized Jon instantly, but he didn't seem too pleased.

"Alyssa." He called as she turned to look at him, "Get inside. You're grounded, remember?" How was she working for a few hours every day if she was grounded? Maybe she got her work done while everyone important was at work themselves.

"You won't say anything, will you?" She asked me quietly. I wasn't sure what she meant. About her parents, or about her working?

"No." I replied anyway, "You either?"

"About why you're not in school anymore?" She asked and I nodded, "I won't. Nobody else needs to know anyway. Everyone who asks can just stuff it."

"Alyssa." Jon called again.

"Sorry I got you in trouble." I told her.

"It's okay." She mumbled, talking quickly now, "I'm grounded until next weekend. Not this coming Sunday, but next one. Come back over then, okay?" I nodded a little, and she nodded as well. She probably got grounded for two weeks because of the little nighttime field trip we'd taken.

"Bye." She told us, running off toward the front door.

I closed my eyes, just letting the relief register for a minute. So she hadn't been making friends with Ken or Jack. That was a huge weight off of me.

The drive back home was almost entirely silent, until I broke that silence.

"You're still not making me go back to school?" I asked, just now catching onto that, "Even though it wasn't them?"

"You'll still be staying home." Carlisle replied, "I stand by what I said. It's too dangerous right now." I nodded a little. Not that I was complaining, but wasn't that exactly what I'd been saying this whole time?

Esme and Rose were home when we got back. Esme worked on putting dinner together for me, nervously awaiting an explanation. Finally, we could give her good news. It wasn't them. It was very comforting to know they weren't closing in yet. I still had some room to breathe, and I didn't have to suffocate yet.

I sat in my room close to a week later, staring at the four long scratches across my arm I'd gotten from the cat. They'd healed to faded pink lines, but still clearly visible.

As odd as it was to admit to myself, it was so strange not to be going to school anymore. The routine I'd found was just about obliterated by one change.

Once more, I found myself thinking about Alyssa. My thoughts drifting back to that night, the night she came over. I was glad we weren't really mad at each other anymore, but I still had more on my mind. I was relieved to understand her activities, but there was still some things I couldn't let go of. One thing in particular.

I just didn't know how to go about helping her. I was lost. Stuck.

It was probably the stupidest thing I've ever done, but I had to solve this. I needed to talk to someone, but I couldn't do that without going to see the one person I could ask. I had to go alone if I wanted it to stay a secret.

Rose and Emmett were once again locked away in their room. Jasper and Alice hiding away as well. Esme was downstairs, probably working on things having to do with the other house, so I did have an opening.

I would have to be quick, both in my escape and getting there.

I left my room like nothing in the world was up. Like I was just going downstairs for some water or something. Trying to sneak by would have given them reasons to wonder.

Down the stairs, through the kitchen. Surprisingly, Esme wasn't in here. Making this even easier.

I paused to think about what I was doing. I knew it was dangerous to go anywhere on my own, but this would bug me until I figured it out. I needed to figure this out before mentioning anything more about it to my family. If I didn't figure this out soon, I'd go nuts.

"Leandra?" Alice had gotten suspicious anyway. Calling from up the stairs.

Taking a breath, I moved. Slipping out the back door.

Leaving the house, I raced over the grass in the back yard, scrambled over the wall, and using the trick Alyssa taught me, I tumbled down the hill as fast as I could. I was very dizzy when I finally reached the bottom, barely missing a tree before I stopped. I was very dizzy, but I couldn't help laughing. She was right. I'd have to do that more often.

"Leandra, dammit." She'd followed me as far as the edge of the wall, "Come back. Whatever you're doing, it's not funny." Damn right about that. It wasn't funny, and not meant to be funny.

I'd be in so much trouble when I got back, it being late afternoon with no chance of the sun setting yet. Nobody was allowed to follow me yet.

I just kept going. Acting like I never heard her. I heard her enough to hear her irritated growl, but I wouldn't let that keep me back. I needed to do this. I'd put it off for way too long, leaving it too much to chance.

I was paranoid the entire way through town. I didn't see anything out of place, nobody even noticed I was there, but I knew better than to believe that meant I was fine. I walked quickly across the two streets, and practically jumped through the door into the store.

"Leandra?" Mikah seemed surprised to see me, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." I panted, "I'm fine, um.." I took a minute to catch my breath. Slowly approaching the counter, the store was empty aside from us.

Why was I about to bother him with this? He watched me, concerned as I caught my breath. How was I supposed to bring it up, anyway? Just be blunt about it? I didn't know what to say. Before I could say anything, though, an older woman came through the door. I'd have to wait until she left before bringing it up. I didn't mind waiting. It gave me time to think about what I needed to say.

As she was buying her loaf of bread, she smiled over at me. She seemed friendly, so I returned it. After a moment, though, I felt a little shy, and pretended to poke through the rack of magazines a few steps away.

"She's a darling." The woman mentioned to Mikah.

"Isn't she?" He asked in return, smiling over at me, and I laughed a little, shaking my head.

"I assume she doesn't work here?" She asked.

"No." Mikah laughed, "She's a friend of the family." Essentially, it was true.

"Well, she's precious." She smiled again, taking her bag, "Just precious. Have a wonderful day, Mikah dear."

"You too, Ms. Price." I gathered that this woman was a regular customer. Looking over, I watched her leave. My cheeks warm. I liked her. I was pretty embarrassed, but I didn't mind her.

"So." Mikah spoke once the door closed behind her, "What brings you by, Leandra?"

I took a breath, my smile fading. No doubt this was going to be a tough discussion.

"Come on." He urged, "It can't be that bad, can it?" I looked down. Briefly biting my lip, I thought hard about where to start. There was one good place to start, but it was difficult.

"Mikah," I finally muttered, "You need to do something." That confused him.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"About your parents." I replied, "You need to fix it." He seemed to catch on, looking down. Just like I thought, it was hard on him. Obviously a very sensitive subject.

"I don't know how you-"

"Don't give me that." I told him, "Mikah, my family is getting suspicious. I'm just one kid. I can't keep a secret like that. I know, because I've tried. You seem like the only one that would be willing to do anything."

"Leandra, if anything could be done, don't you think I'd have done something by now?" He asked, "Now, how'd you find out?"

"Alyssa and I talk about a lot of things." I admitted, and he sighed, shaking his head, "Don't be mad at her. She gets the worst of it."

"You really think that?" He asked, surprised. I looked back up, confused, "You really think I'd let her get the worst of it? She only gets whatever I don't get. When I'm not home."

Surprised even more, I gasped, "Your mom hits you too?"

"Shh." He whispered urgently, giving a glance around, "Yes."

"But you're big enough to knock her out." I muttered, "Why don't you hit her back?"

"That's a very complicated answer, Leandra." He sighed, but I wasn't letting it go. I waited, looking at him expectantly for an explanation, so he sighed again and spoke.

"When I was little," He started, "Before Sammy was born, I watched my dad roughing up my mom one day. I shouldn't be able to remember that, but I do." I winced a little, "It went on for years before it started becoming a real issue for us kids, and soon enough, I got old enough to understand what had been going on. Since then, I promised myself that I'd never hit a female. Whether she deserved it or not."

I could understand that. He seemed embarrassed about that, but I could see he felt strongly about it.

"You're a lot tougher than I am." I mumbled, and he looked to me, "I remember wishing all the time that I was big enough to fight back. I'd kill him."

It was at that point, I thought, that he figured everything out. He knew and understood from previous conversations that I'd been through as much as he had. At least. He knew why it mattered so much to me.

"No you wouldn't." He replied quietly, "You're too sweet. You shouldn't even think about things like that. You have your new family, right?"

"For now." I muttered, looking down. I took a breath, continuing on, "Okay, so if you can't hit her back, then what are you supposed to do?"

"I can't go to the cops." He told me, "I'd lose them all." The same reason Alyssa wouldn't.

"What about.." I trailed off, "Hmm.."

"What?" He asked, confused.

"I can't say much, because I've never met your mom, but maybe just being looked at would be enough to make her stop?" I suggested, "Someone can say something, and they'll look into it, but as long as none of the kids are obviously abused, they can't do anything. They have shelter, they're fed every day. They seem happy, and aren't locked in the basement for most of the day."

"We don't have a basement." He muttered, "But I get what you're saying. I know just the threat of losing his kids would settle my dad right down." He sighed, "That's really dangerous, though. Emily isn't the best at keeping secrets. She can be tricked into saying almost anything. I'm not worried about the other two being able to pull it off, and Sammy wouldn't give a crap either way. I can't lose them, Leandra."

"I know." I replied, "But it's the only chance you have. Just talk to Emily. I know she looks up to you just as much as Alyssa does. Alyssa told me."

"I'm really not sure." He sighed, "But I'll give it some thought."

"That doesn't help me, though." I pointed out, "If something happens to them, I won't be able to keep quiet about it anymore. If I could have done something to help, I wouldn't forgive myself."

"Nothing's going to happen." He assured me, "I understand where you're coming from, but I promise. They'll be alright. They've made it this far without it, right?" That did seem to help, "Look, I know some of those bruises are bad. I won't excuse them, because nobody should have them, but she's never taken it passed that point. The kids know to avoid her." I nodded a little, "They know to stay out of her way, okay? If they avoid her, she normally avoids them."

He paused, hesitating for a moment. Studying me a bit before speaking up again, "You sure know a lot about this." I didn't bother replying to that. Glancing up at him, and I knew he instantly read my expression.

"I've had some experience with it." I did eventually say, "I know the ins and outs."

The door jingled behind me, signaling the arrival of another customer, effectively ending our conversation as I looked down, irritated. I focused on the counter instead, waiting for this person to leave so I could keep trying to convince him.

"Afternoon." Mikah greeted the new customer, "You look lost."

"Diaper emergency." The customer's reply behind me was firm, with a laugh, "Can you point me the right direction?" I couldn't breathe. My stomach tumbled, and I could feel the color clear from my face. I could recognize that voice from anywhere.

Oh, _fuck_. I couldn't even think for a moment. Everything just stopped as panic rushed through me in an almost painful way. I just froze, and it took me several seconds to thaw.

I'd known it was a possibility the entire time, but the fact that Jack could be there right then was the most difficult thing to comprehend. Like being unable to believe what I knew I had heard. Like my mind was stuck in denial. My entire body was locked and numb for a minute, and a panic like I'd felt so often before knotted my stomach painfully.

"Sure." Mikah chuckled, before he glanced back down to me, "You okay?"

"I have to go." I whimpered. Preferably before I threw up all over the floor, "Just.. Think about it." I didn't wait for him to reply. I rounded, taking the five steps to the door in three, throwing open the door roughly.

I ran from the store as fast as I could.

It was very daring of him to try this at a very busy time of day, but then again, nobody here knew who he was. Nobody but me would recognize him.

I knew if I were to run, he wouldn't follow me. That'd just be stupid. He wasn't after me yet, anyway. He'd let me go. I knew him, and I knew he was playing a game. He wanted this reaction. He wanted to know I still feared him. He was trying to scare me.

Well, it worked! I hadn't even had to see him to be scared of him.

Nobody followed me as I ran. Pushing, shoving people out of my way, I raced back up the sidewalk. My heart beating a thousand miles a minute, I couldn't even breathe enough to cry yet.

Teaching me a very hard lesson. I'd heard the proof right there behind me. At very least Jack was a very real threat to me again, and I wouldn't be stupid again. Never again.

Clawing my way up the hill, scratching myself up in my scramble back over the wall, I came flying in the back door, slamming it closed behind me. Thumping back against it, I finally started to sob heavily, sliding into a violently trembling ball in front of it. I wouldn't open my eyes, even when I sensed someone stepping forward. Kneeling in front of me.

I had to be losing my mind. There's no way he could have been there. No way.

"Leandra?" It was Esme in front of me, "Look at me, honey."

I only curled my arms over my head, hiding behind them.

"Which one was it?" She asked quietly, and I knew she understood. I couldn't stop crying long enough to answer her, so she tried again, "Honey, who was it?"

If she didn't know, that meant Alice didn't know, and that meant my mom had to have been with him somewhere. That thought only fueled more cries, and with a soft sigh, Esme lifted me.

"This is why we want you to be safe." She said, "I hate seeing you this way."

How had he even known I'd be in there? Was it a coincidence? That didn't seem likely with Jack. It was more likely that he'd followed me in there. He had to have known I was in there.

With her holding me this way, I had little choice but to calm down. Just like before.

She had such an ability to calm me down without even trying. She usually chose not to use it, but this was an exception. I wouldn't call it an ability, not like Jasper's, but a way about her that made it impossible to stay afraid. She kept a hold of me, eventually walking with me into the living room. Where the others stood. My chin rested on her shoulder, my arms around her neck. Staring behind her at the wall.

Despite how I didn't want to, I calmed down, but I could feel everyone's gaze on me. The unspoken scolds that just waited to come out.

Feeling my trembles die down, and my sobs fade, Esme asked me again.

"Who was it, sweetheart?" I stayed quiet. Sniffling, sitting straighter in her arms and falling to my feet.

"Leandra." Jasper's voice behind me told me he wasn't going to let this go.

Anyone else, being this scared by sneaking out would have been enough of a punishment, but not to him. Or Emmett beside him. Not to Alice, either. She wasn't going to stand up for me this time.

The fact that I had a very brief run-in with one of them only made it worse. I knew that, and I could understand their point of view, but I'd rather have avoided what I knew wouldn't be avoided.

"I know." I mumbled, "I know."

"No." Jasper corrected sharply, "No. You obviously don't."

"Please." I started to cry again, looking up at him, "I don't want to fight. I _know_ what I did was stupid." He fell quiet for a moment, but eventually took a breath and sighed it out.

"Who was it, Leandra?" He asked me instead.

"Jack." I answered, keeping my gaze down, "I don't even know if he knew it was me." Lie.

"Why did you run off?" He asked, "Leandra, you knew how dangerous it was."

"I needed to talk to Mikah." I whimpered through emotion, "It was important."

"Important enough to risk your own safety like that?" He asked, and I nodded. He didn't understand what I was trying to do.

"I couldn't.." I paused, hesitating, "I couldn't talk to him with anyone else around. It had to be alone, and I knew even if whoever came with me said they wouldn't listen, they'd still hear."

"Does this have anything to do with Alyssa's secret?" He asked, and his calmer tone helped me. I nodded again.

"I needed to get his take on it." I mumbled, "To help me decide what to do, because I'm _so_ lost."

"Leandra, you know you can talk to us." Alice murmured.

"Not about this." I replied, shaking my head, "Not yet." I took a breath, "I went there to talk to him about what he can do to make it better. That's all I wanted. I knew if I would have asked, you wouldn't have let me go."

They understood now. They knew I wasn't just running off for no reason. I was definitely seeing some perks of being as honest as I could, as calmly as I could. They weren't mad anymore, but still disappointed, and I couldn't blame them for that.

"I'm sorry." I added.

"This is important to you." Jasper sighed, "We understand that, but you have to be more careful. You can't forget about your own welfare while trying to help someone else. It doesn't work like that." I nodded a little, "Next time you want to go there, let one of us know to be on the lookout for you. If you don't want us to listen in, we won't listen in. We'd rather you be safe than snoop around in whatever you're doing. It doesn't bother me for you to go see Mikah. He's a nice enough kid. I just don't want anything to happen to you on the way."

I nodded again, taking a deep breath.

I was still a little skeptical. I really didn't want to risk them overhearing anyway, but then I thought about it. They'd been able to give me enough privacy for Alyssa to tell me all about it without them knowing a thing. They had no idea, which was plainly obvious by then. They could choose not to listen if they wanted to.

This could work.

**A/N: Well, poop. That was her own stupid fault, but at least she had a reason, right? Right? Eh. On the plus side, I'm always glad when she's able to avoid an argument. :D  
THANK YOU to those kind enough to review last chapter! :D HEARTS to you all! HEART HEART HEART HEART!**  
**Chapter ten needs more editing than this one did, so bear with me please if it takes a few days. :)  
Until Ten, my beautiful readers! :D**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

I knew crossing paths with Jack would reinforce those nightmares I always struggled with. I knew it'd make them stronger, harder to deal with, even if I never saw his face, but I hadn't anticipated just how much.

His voice, the way it sounded was difficult to shake off. There was no doubt in my mind that he knew I was there. He had to have known it was me. There was no way around it. He was here, and that was something I had to face.

I wandered down the stairs later that night, but unfortunately, Emmett wasn't in his usual spot on the couch. Of course, I couldn't exactly blame him, but I didn't want to be alone. I didn't see anyone.

"Leandra?" Alice had followed me. I looked back up the stairs as she descended them, "What are you doing out of bed?"

"I wasn't going to run off." I said, "I just couldn't sleep. I think I'm thinking too much."

"Well, that's bound to happen." She sighed, "Come on. I'll sit with you." I appreciated that. She led me back up the stairs, and right back into my room.

It was silent for several minutes, but I knew there was a lot she wanted to say. Even with sitting to my back to her. She brushed out my hair, which I didn't mind this time, because she didn't seem too interested in braiding it.

"Go ahead." I mumbled, "I know you're still mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you, Leandra." She replied, "Disappointed, but not mad. You don't know how fast things could have gone wrong for you today."

"I know." I sighed, keeping my eyes down, "But he just wanted to scare me."

"What if he hadn't just wanted to scare you?" She asked, "You wouldn't be sitting here right now."

"I know." I repeated with a sniffle.

"And what do you think that would have done to us?" She asked, and I finally turned a little to look at her, "Believe it or not, the consequences of a decision like that would be devastating. To all of us."

"Why?" I asked, "Wouldn't you be glad to be rid of me?"

"Of course not." She replied, surprised, "Leandra, I think you're still under the impression that you're somehow replaceable."

"A goldfish wouldn't run off." I pointed out.

"I hear goldfish die really easily." She replied, and even I found the humor in that, "Forget to feed them once or twice, and it's belly up." It wasn't often lately that she joked with me. She sighed, "You're just as much a part of this family as I am."

"I doubt that." I admitted quietly.

She frowned, "Why do you doubt that?"

"Nothing's the same anymore." I found myself answering. Finally, she got an answer, "And don't tell me that's not true, because I've seen it. It wasn't just moving here that got to me so bad. It was the way everything changed. I'm still getting used to that, but it's really hard to."

"How has anything changed?"

I took a breath, "I don't want to say. I don't want to sound like I'm blaming anyone. I'm not. I'm just.. Not used to everything changing so often, I guess. I've never had to deal with moving, or starting a new school, or getting used to the way things are different. Not even once, much less twice. I'm still getting the hang of changing with everything changing."

She sighed, hugging my shoulders from where she sat behind me.

"I am trying, though." I mumbled, allowing the contact, "It's just taking a little longer than I thought. I don't know what's wrong with me."

"There's nothing wrong with you." She countered.

"Yes there is." I replied, "There has to be. Even Carlisle's worried, but he doesn't get that the things I see in my head are normal to me. It's always been that way. What do you think bugged Edward so bad?

"I get by now that he was just mad at Jack, but that doesn't mean he had to have liked what he saw. He's mad at Jack for what he turned me into. I'm.." I hesitated, "Different. I'm not how I should be. I don't think the way I should. I was _trying_ to keep anyone from finding that out, but that kind of flew out the window when Edward saw everything. Especially when we left. That just completely screwed me all up, and hiding it didn't seem as possible as it was before."

I took a breath, continuing, "Plus the way I can't even sleep on my own anymore. The pill makes me sleep too much. I sleep, yeah, but that doesn't stop my mind from torturing me. I just can't wake up from it, so I have to stick around to see everything I don't want to see."

"I know." She sighed, "I know you're trying. We all do. I just wish I knew how to help."

"I know killing me isn't an option." I mumbled, and she sighed again. Not at all pleased with that answer, but she wasn't going to say anything. I paused for a minute longer before I sighed as well.

"I don't mean to mess up so much." I admitted, "I went with Alyssa that night because I didn't want her to go anywhere alone, and sitting on her wouldn't have made her stay. She out-weighs me by like ten pounds."

"Leandra, you know you can talk to us about whatever is going on with her."

"I can't." I immediately replied, "It's her secret to tell. Not mine." That should have been a hint in itself, but she wasn't thinking that direction. "And I promised."

She shook her head, "But if it's bugging you this badly-"

"It's.." I hesitated, "It's hard to explain. Remember? Keeping secrets is what I do. You know me. I would have kept my own secret for a lot longer than I did if Jack didn't try to make me live with his dad. I never would have budged that easily."

"I just hope you know what you're doing." She replied, "You're only ten. You're just a baby."

"I'm not a baby." I muttered, slightly offended.

"Compared to me, you are." She countered, "You can't even imagine how much better life can get."

I sighed, shrugging a little, "Maybe not, but I'm not thinking about how much better life can get. I'm too busy worrying about how much worse it can get."

"Leandra, I don't want you thinking about things like that."

"I can't help it." I replied.

"So change your thoughts." She murmured.

"I've tried." I countered quietly, shaking my head, "I just think of something worse. It just gets worse and worse the harder I try to stop it. It's impossible."

"Then tell me." She said, "Tell me what you think about." I instantly looked down.

"That's even more impossible."

"You said that about telling us at all." She reminded me, "You can do it, if you'd just try."

"You don't get it." I mumbled, "I _can't_." She frowned, so I took a breath, "I don't know how. A lot of the things I have in my head are really hard to explain. Like I told Emmett awhile ago. It's very confusing in here. Everything that happened before in the vision, everything that happened in real life, and everything I can't see yet are all together.

"All these thoughts and memories mix together into one big thing that I can't describe very well. Some things I can talk about, but other things, I won't let myself talk about, but it's never just one thing. I can't talk about one thing without coming too close to talking about something else, and it never, ever stops. It's very confusing, and I wouldn't even know where to start telling someone else about it.

"And that's just that. Everything now, this time just adds to that, and sometimes, I can't handle it very well. There isn't enough room in my head for all of this.. Stuff. It's hard."

"You're way too young for this much stress, Leandra."

"Tell me about it." I muttered, "When it gets to be too much, I get mean and I yell, but I can't get too mean again. I don't want to feel what it's like to hurt like that again. I _know_ I shouldn't think like that, but that _really_ hurt, so I'm trying to be good. I promise I'm trying, but it's not easy."

"Why didn't you talk to all of us about this?" She asked, concerned.

"I don't like being this screwed up." I muttered, "I don't like telling anyone about it since I pissed Emmett off with it. That was the same day Carlisle told me I had to go to school."

"You've been suffering from this for this long, and you've not said anything?" She asked, "_Why_?"

"Because nobody can help me." I replied quietly, "If I can't even find the words to describe it, how can I tell anyone about it? Besides. I've been enough trouble." She hugged me again, and this time, I actually appreciated it.

"You don't mean it." She assured me, and I shook my head. I didn't mean to be mean, and it helped that she seemed to understand that. In all I'd done, nobody had told me that yet. I hadn't meant it. Not a word.

"I think it's going to take Rosalie some time before she forgives me." I mumbled, "I probably pushed it a little far with what I said to her."

"You wouldn't be wrong." She admitted quietly, "But I'll keep trying to talk to her for you."

"Thanks." I replied, "But she hasn't liked me since I showed up."

"That's not it at all." She told me, "It's just.. She's protective. Of her family, and having a human here, well.."

"I can't blame her." I shook my head, before I hesitated, "There's more to it, isn't there?"

"What do you mean?" She asked.

"I'm not stupid." I replied, "I notice the little things." She looked down.

"That certainly explains why you're so smart." She allowed, "Even with everything going on in your head, you still have room to notice and learn things."

"Don't ask me." I shrugged a little, "Just don't tell me how things haven't changed, because I know they have."

"You're talking about Jazz distancing himself."

"That's part of it."

"Leandra, he felt your fear that night." She replied, "It's been hard on him, to know you were so afraid of him. Not only that, but because of that slip up, you had to be uprooted. Brought here, away from where you were comfortable, and to see the way you're struggling so much.. That bothers him." She sighed, "And he's worried about another slip up like that. He's worried, and he's reluctant to trust himself around you. He'd never, ever forgive himself if you ever got hurt."

I looked down.

"I don't blame him." I replied, "I don't blame anybody. Shit happens, right?"

"Leandra." She corrected.

"_Stuff_ happens, and sometimes, there's nothing we can do about it." I added, "Sometimes, things just are the way they are, and all we can do is just get used to it. I don't blame Jasper. I miss him."

That seemed to sadden her.

"I was never afraid of him, exactly." I added, "Everything was just happening so fast, and I didn't really know what to do. I was more afraid of being caught off guard like that. I get scared when something happens that I don't expect." She nodded, so I continued.

"I miss Emmett too." I admitted, "He's been distant too, but I never saw that one coming. I have no idea what I did to him."

"That's a long story." She sighed, "Trust me."

"Did I piss him off?" I asked.

"No." She replied, "No, it wasn't.. Really anything you did."

I didn't buy it, "What did I do?"

She hesitated for a moment, but eventually spoke again, "Do you remember what happened the day of your birthday party?"

"Yeah." I muttered, "I whacked Lily with a pillow."

"Do you remember why?" She asked.

"Uh.." I trailed off, thinking, "Because I was jealous?"

"You were possessive." She added, and I nodded. She waited, but I wasn't understanding. She smiled a little, "Think about it. He's not avoiding you, Leandra. He's been spending more time with Rosalie."

That helped.

"Oh, she's jealous of me?" I asked, surprised, "Really?" I couldn't imagine someone like Rosalie ever being jealous of someone like me.

"It's a little more complicated than that, but essentially, yes." She replied.

"Oh." I muttered. Well, that helped me understand a little better, "If she wants more time with him, I get it. I just thought it was something I did."

"No, Leandra." She replied, "It was nothing you did. He's not mad at you. Nobody is mad at you."

"Except Rosalie." I corrected, "For calling her a bitch."

"Well, except that." She allowed, "That was definitely the opposite of helpful."

"B-But I didn't know that then." I defended myself a little, "I was just mad because she was trying to tell me the same thing Jack told me the first day in California. I didn't like that, and I _really_ didn't want to stick around and listen to it. So.. I guess I said a few things I shouldn't have."

"I think I can understand why now." She replied. She sighed, falling quiet for a moment, "I'll talk with Carlisle in the morning. I'd like for you to be there too, to help discuss possible options." I shook my head a little, sighing myself.

"There aren't any."

"The one thing it comes down to," She said, "Is that there are way too many things going on in your head. The one thing we need to focus on is getting a lot of that out of there. We'll talk with Carlisle, and we'll see what the first step could be, okay? We'll figure it out."

"Like what?" I asked. I knew she had to have something in mind.

"Medication?" She suggested, "Something, anything to help you handle anxiety." I shuddered, "I think once your thoughts slow down, you can focus them in a more productive way instead of being forced to fight them all the time. It is possible, Leandra. We just need to take it one step at a time."

I continued to doubt, but she seemed so sure. I didn't want to squash her positivity, so I nodded a little.

"For now, try to get some rest." She murmured, standing up, "If you need anything, you know where our room is." I looked down. I wouldn't bother her, even if I did need something. That's just how I was.

"I don't want to be alone." I admitted, shaking my head.

"I'll leave your door open." She offered, and that immediately seemed to help. That was acceptable. I didn't know why I never thought of that before. I nodded again, a little easier this time.

I watched as she smiled a little at me, before leaving. Just as she said, my door was left wide open. That really made me feel a lot less alone. Jasper and Alice were right next door. With a heavy sigh, unfortunately, I yawned. Crawling under the blanket, hesitating before turning off the lamp beside me.

Across the room, the nightlight flipped on, and I'd have preferred more light, but it was acceptable enough. Curling up almost completely under my blanket, I laid awake for a few minutes, before finally letting my eyes close.

I was surprised when it was suddenly morning. Early morning, but morning nonetheless. I hated feeling like this. Left with nothing but the emotions of whatever I'd dreamed about.

Descending the stairs, I honestly felt like I hadn't slept at all. I was so tired.

"You really need to start sleeping." Alice muttered the second she saw me, "Those circles tell stories." Meaning, the dark shading under my eyes. I knew exactly what she meant.

"Thanks." I replied, sighing.

She and Carlisle were already talking when I arrived, and I didn't really want to interrupt. Unfortunately, the doorbell did that for me. I stood up, on my feet at the unexpected sound, but Alice's smile as she stood up had me easing slightly. She knew who it was.

Emmett was suddenly down the stairs, "What's he doing here?" Alice crossed the room, opening the door just as Jasper descended the stairs as well. He seemed puzzled as well, but not worried.

"Hi." She greeted whoever it was happily.

"I'm sorry for stopping by so early." I recognized his voice, and sighed. Instantly relieved and I sat back down beside Carlisle, "I just wanted to check on Leandra. She left in such a hurry yesterday, and I was a little worried about her."

"No problem." Alice replied, "Come on in." She stepped back, and he almost hesitantly stepped inside. Mikah spotted me easily, giving me a small smile. I couldn't help returning it. I felt a little embarrassed at how I left.

"Hi." I mumbled, and he smiled a little more.

"Hi." He replied, "You okay?" He asked that same thing yesterday. I shrugged a little, looking down, "What happened?"

I didn't know how to answer that.

"I called her." Carlisle answered, and I glanced over at him. Grateful. It was more than possible for me to have had a cell phone in my pocket that vibrated.

"I knew I was in trouble." I added, giving a small smile, "I figured I should get home as soon as I could."

He nodded, understanding that part.

"I sort of snuck out." I murmured, "I wasn't supposed to go anywhere, but.. I needed to talk to you." It was his turn to look down.

"Yeah." He mumbled after a moment, "That's another reason I wanted to come by. I was up all night, thinking about it, and I wanted to tell you that you're right."

"I am?" I asked, surprised.

"Yeah." He repeated, nodding, "You are. It's a big risk, but nothing is ever going to change without taking it, and things definitely have to change." He didn't know how right he was about that. It wasn't just him taking a risk. I'd taken a huge risk yesterday.

"I'm sorry." I told him. I didn't want to be right about that.

"Don't be." He replied, "Thank you, Leandra."

"Keep me posted?" I requested, "Let me know how it goes?" He smiled.

"Sure thing." He nodded, "I wouldn't want to keep you in the dark." I smiled this time, finding that actually pretty amusing, thinking immediately of my fear of the dark.

"I can't stay long." He added, "But I had to stop by. I'll see you later?" I nodded again.

"Eventually." I replied, and he nodded as well, keeping his smile.

Emmett's eyes were on me as soon as he left.

"What?" I asked, defensive.

"Now I'm curious." He muttered, "What was that all about?"

"He was just worried about me." I answered, "I kind of left there in a hurry. I didn't exactly stick around. I haven't run that fast in a long time."

"Not just that." Emmett replied, "What are you right about?"

"I gave him some advice." I shrugged a little, "That's all. I'm not used to being right, though. That's a surprise."

"Leandra, you're very smart." Alice pointed out, "A lot of the time, you know what you're talking about, so I'm not so surprised."

"I'm wrong a lot, too." I countered, "A _lot_. I wasn't sure if he would take my advice, because he has a lot to lose. At least now I know it was worth it to go over there yesterday."

"This is going to drive me crazy." Emmett grumbled.

"Trust her." Alice told him, "If she thinks she can handle it on her own, then I think we should give her the benefit of the doubt." I appreciated that, "Now, can we move on?"

"If we must." Emmett sighed deeply, and I smiled a little.

"We still need a solution." Alice pointed out and I looked down as she looked to me, "We've been discussing this extensively, but we need your input, Leandra."

"I'm just as lost as you are." I shook my head a little, "I've tried everything I can think of."

"I don't think medication is the way to go." Carlisle spoke up, "If we can avoid that, I'd like to."

"Me too." I agreed with him there. I didn't want that.

"So the issue is trying to slow her thoughts down?" Emmett asked.

"Basically." Alice replied, "Right now, they're too strong for her. There's too much for her to deal with, and it's all bunching up in there."

"Movies don't work."

"Reading doesn't work anymore either." I added, glancing up.

"But it did work for a time?" Jasper asked, and I nodded a little.

"Well," I mumbled as an afterthought, "It helped by making me forget everything for a little while while I was awake. Now I'm lucky to read two lines without getting lost."

"So you're having trouble focusing." They were narrowing it down. I nodded again. He fell quiet for a moment, probably thinking.

"This thing with Alyssa and Mikah probably isn't helping." Emmett grumbled.

"Actually," Jasper corrected, "I think it is. It gives her something to focus on besides everything else in there. It's distracting her."

"What are you thinking?" Carlisle asked.

"She needs distractions." Jasper answered, "Something to take, and to keep her attention. Maybe if she focuses enough on something, it'll give her thoughts time to straighten themselves out."

"That's what school was for." I muttered.

"School didn't challenge you." He argued lightly, "It was far too easy for you, so doing the work there was a breeze and didn't really hold your full attention." He had a point there, "You had the chance to dwell on things at the same time."

"Yeah." I sighed, admitting to it.

"What she needs," He continued, "Are tasks. Things to hold her attention."

"What, like projects?" Alice asked.

"Maybe start with something simple." Jasper shook his head a little, "Maybe chores? Little things she can help out with, while holding her focus and getting her moving."

"I like that idea." I said, perking up a little, "I like to help, but nobody's let me since I've been here."

"She's got a point." Emmett chuckled, "She's been pretty spoiled."

"Why do you think my room's never messy?" I asked, "Even though I'm always in there? I've been doing chores since I could remember."

"That's why you've never had to do them here." Jasper pointed out.

"Jack never really told me to do them." I replied, "Well, he might have when I was younger, but I guess I just got used to doing it. Picking stuff up, throwing stuff out. I got used to taking care of my mom every day. It gave me something to do." I looked to Alice, "That's what I was trying to tell you before. I like burning trash, and getting stuff done. Sure, I got messy, but it kept me busy."

"Honestly, I thought you were just saying that." She admitted, and I shook my head with a little smile.

"Wait," Emmett muttered, "You took care of her?" I realized he wasn't exactly filled in completely on what my mom had to do with my past. None of them were.

"She wasn't exactly the best at picking up after herself." I replied, "Or taking care of herself. She was.. Pretty useless. I had to be the one to kick her off the couch to send her to bed, and from the bed, I kicked out to the couch. When she wasn't too drunk to move. Every week, I changed her sheets and washed them. That was usually when she dragged herself into the bathroom to shower. A few times, though, I had to drag her in there. Then, I had to make sure she didn't drown."

His expression had fallen into a frown, "Holy shit."

"I thought about dragging a hose through the bedroom window, but she probably wouldn't have liked that." I shrugged, "I reminded Jack that she needed to eat every other day. I tricked her into drinking water, because she couldn't live on beer by itself."

"How'd you trick her?" Emmett seemed like he almost didn't want to hear that answer.

"Filled an empty beer bottle with water." I laughed a little, "She'd drink a little bit, make a face, and put it down. I'd wait for her to pass out again, then I'd wake her up, and hand it to her again. Four or five times until she finished the bottle, and she never caught on. I couldn't give her more than one bottle, though, otherwise I'd have a worse mess to clean up."

"God." Emmett winced, turning.

"I learned that the hard way." I muttered, "That was fun." My tone was bitter and sarcastic.

"You kept her alive." Carlisle understood better as well, and I nodded a little. I'd never really gone into this much detail about my mother before, so I didn't blame anyone for not fully understanding.

"As alive as she was." I looked down, "Why do you think it bugged me so bad when she just left like that?" I took a breath, shaking my head, "But I didn't exactly do it for her. I did it for me. She was like a pet. Something that needed taken care of, or it would die. When I was little, I used to think of her like a pet rock. A pet rock that needed things like food, to be walked, and beer. Lots and _lots_ of beer. I had to clean up after it and make sure it stayed clean. If I slacked off, Jack got pissed."

"Why?" Emmett asked.

"Jack got pissed if I breathed wrong." I explained, "Or breathed at all. Jack got pissed if the sky was blue, or a breeze hit him wrong. Jack got pissed if I looked at him a certain way, or said something he didn't like. He didn't have to be pissed at anything else to be pissed at me. It wasn't hard for me to piss him off, and when he got pissed off.. Yeah. That was it.

"But that was the one chore he was strict about, my mom, because he had to sleep in there with her, and he wasn't about to sleep on the couch. He'd set it on fire before he had to sleep on it. As long as the bed stayed clean, and she stayed drunk, he didn't care. He didn't care about her. He didn't need her for anything. That was what I was for."

Given their silence, they were speechless. I was too, in a way. I wasn't expecting that much detail to come out from just a simple question from Emmett. It just sort of happened. It just came spilling out before I could stop it.

"Sorry." I finally mumbled, "I didn't mean to say that much."

"Don't be." Carlisle replied, and I looked to him, "Leandra, that's a great start."

"It is?" I asked, hesitant. Holding stuff like that back since I'd known them, stuff like that was what I wanted to hide from them. What I did everything I could to keep them from knowing. They'd just gotten a glimpse of what had made me into what I was right then, and they thought it was a _good_ thing?

"It is." Alice agreed, and given the way nobody was mad at me, they agreed with her. They weren't frowning at me in disgust. They weren't turning away.

"Leandra, that stuff is bothering you more than you think." Jasper told me, "It's a good thing that you told us about it. It's not just the major memories that make it so hard to bear. It's everything."

"That was the first time you've ever given that much in one thought." Carlisle pointed out, and I looked down. That was saying a lot, because he'd worked with me the most.

"But I didn't mean to." I admitted, shaking my head a little, "It just came out."

"And that's okay." Carlisle replied, "You don't need to feel like you need to censor yourself, or keep things hidden away. Whenever you need to explain something like that, don't stop yourself. That's what we've been trying to tell you all along."

I was starting to see what he meant.

"No matter how bad it is, shorty, we can handle it." Emmett murmured.

"But-"

"Yeah," He cut off my argument, knowing where it was going, "I had to take a walk, but that was all me, shorty. Not you. You're afraid of somehow offending us, or chasing us off, or making us hate you. That's not possible. All we want is to get to know you. We want to understand you, not the you you show to everyone else."

Well, when he put it like that..

"But I don't like thinking about that." I mumbled.

"Then don't think." He replied, "Just talk." I frowned a little in thought, "Just like what you did just now. You weren't thinking about what you were saying. You were just explaining. That's exactly it."

"You're afraid of chasing us away by showing us what's in your mind." Jasper added quietly, and I looked to him nervously, "You're afraid that by somehow showing who you are, the way you are, you'll be rejected. We understand that you haven't gotten to be who you are on your own, and learning all we can about what happened to make you who you are is just as important as everything else about you."

Why was that a relief? I couldn't help the small smile as I looked down. Maybe I was relieved that they weren't mad, but it was more than that.

"What you did just now, Leandra, was amazing." Jasper continued, "Please don't block yourself up again."

It was quiet for a moment, before I nodded. I'd try.

"Esme's going to be disappointed that she missed that." Emmett chuckled, and I smiled a little more. Taking a deep breath, I felt it do something for me again.

"I just want to be useful for something again." I said, getting back onto topic, "Like I used to be."

"Leandra," Alice spoke up and I looked over at her, "You won't be doing anything like that around here."

"I know." I replied easily, "Just.. _Some_thing. Anything."

"Makes sense why helping Alyssa with whatever she needs help with is helping her too." Emmett admitted.

She smiled as well, "I'm sure Esme wouldn't mind assigning her things to do." She looked back, "Great idea, Jazz."

Just as Emmett predicted, Esme was a bit disappointed when she got home that evening, but more than thrilled at finally finding a solution everyone could live with. If just the mention of the subject could get me to talk like that, it gave everyone a sense of hope. Something that had been missing for quite some time.

She gestured to the calendar like page on the wall beside the kitchen doorway, "A list of daily household chores are going to hang here, and once a day, you'll choose one to do." I nodded a little, "Once you correctly complete it, you're done for the day, and you can cross off that day. At the end of one week, if you've completed one chore a day without complaint, you get a reward." I didn't even need the reward. That was just a plus.

"Okay." I agreed, "I can do that."

She was going to have me start tomorrow, but I found myself eager to start helping. I wanted to help, instead of hurt for once. I had to admit that I was somewhat excited by the fact that she was actually allowing me to help out now. Extra plus that she'd be there with me when I had questions about how to do something.

And just like that, I started doing a little better. Daily, from then on, I put my entire focus on my task, and with just that short break each day, it was like being able to shut off my mind for a little while. It was working. I was more focused on doing what I was doing, and doing it right, that I almost didn't have to think.

Each day, I found myself wishing the chores she'd chosen for me were harder to do. I often, to her pleasant surprise, chose to do more than one a day, and every time, she seemed happy with the job I'd done. I looked forward to her telling me what a good job I'd done.

It definitely made me feel better.

My first week's reward was a trip to the movies. Getting me out of the house with both Esme and Carlisle. Despite my worry, I knew both of them were constantly aware of everything going on around us, so I knew they'd keep me safe.

As well as giving me some time away from the house, I knew it made Carlisle feel better to be the one with me. Just so he didn't have to worry about what was going on with me, and I wouldn't complain. I always looked forward to being able to spend time with him.

I looked up to him about as much as I looked up to Esme. Esme probably knew that, so she suggested he be the one to come with us.

I worked even harder the second week, hoping for another reward like the one I got before. It wasn't like I didn't see Carlisle that often, but he always seemed distracted on some level. Like he was paying attention to something else at the same time.

I couldn't blame him. My thoughts often moved toward the less distressing things I had to worry about, too. Alyssa especially. I wondered how she was doing, and I wondered how Mikah was doing. I hadn't seen Mikah since that day, and I knew soon, I would have to head to the store. Just to see him.

But so far, I hadn't gotten up the courage to ask. Both because I was worried they'd say no, and I was scared to go that direction again. Despite the way that I knew he'd never be stupid enough to try anything if I had one, or both of my brothers with me.

Alyssa was ungrounded the Sunday of the second week, and I knew that had to be a relief for her. I wasn't sure about asking to go and see her either, but I didn't even have to ask. It was actually Esme that brought it up.

It was cloudy today, the first week of December, and pretty cold, so both Emmett and Jasper were allowed to come with me. I chose to walk, because that was half the fun of going over to her house.

Apparently, Mikah didn't work on Sundays, so he'd probably be at home. I had to admit, not hearing anything about what was going on there made me a bit nervous to approach. I really didn't want to go over there if everyone was mad at me for giving the wrong advice to Mikah.

To my relief, Alyssa was outside again. She didn't seem upset as she played with Emily, rolling a half-flat basketball back and forth across the yellow grass in the front yard, but I wouldn't let that ease me yet.

Her attention was taken as soon as we passed the fence beside hers, and she smiled.

"Hey." She greeted.

"You're ungrounded, right?" I asked, and she laughed.

"Right." She agreed, "I wasn't expecting you to come over immediately, but hey. Whatever works." She actually seemed happier. Lighter somehow. I took that as a good sign, "Let's go inside, though. It's freezing out here."

"Aww." Emily seemed disappointed, though.

"Go tell Alex to make you some hot chocolate." Alyssa told her, and that did the trick. She darted up, and didn't waste a second of looking back before she was inside, calling his name.

I glanced to Jasper, just to see if he'd be okay. He nodded a little, answering my unspoken question. I followed Alyssa up the three front steps to the front door, Emmett and Jasper following me closely.

"Alex." She called as soon as she was in the door.

"What?" I heard his irritated call in reply, "I'm busy!" From the direction of his voice, he was in the kitchen.

"Make me some too." His drawn out groan made me laugh.

"Me too." I called, even though I didn't particularly want any.

"You can have Alyssa's, and she can make her own."

"Hey." She frowned, "Don't make me kick your butt."

"Get in here, then."

It was incredibly amusing to me how they chose to talk by shouting at each other across the house. She must have found it funny too, because she laughed with me.

"Mikah!" Alyssa called, "Alex is being mean to me!"

"No I'm not!" He was outraged, "Liar!"

"Five minutes, guys." Mikah called, and I could understand his irritated tone at their bedroom doorway, "Can you not kill each other for five minutes? You know I have a mountain of homework."

"So set it on fire, and get down here." Alyssa replied, "It's lunch time anyway. Come feed Alex if you don't want the house burned down."

"Shit." The word was drawn out, and sounded suspiciously like Alex's drawn out irritation. Jasper and Emmett were just as amused, it sounded like.

"All of you, shut up." Jon's voice was surprising to hear, "Damn. Can't I rest on my damn day off?"

"No." Alyssa called immediately, "And tell Sammy he's not doing his share of the housework."

"Bullshit." Sammy's voice called from Jon's vicinity, "Yes I do."

"Then take the trash out."

"You do it!" He snapped in reply.

"It's trash day!" She reminded him.

"Then put it out!"

"Mikah!" Alyssa tattled.

"Sammy, take the damn trash out."

Another drawn out groan, and I was sensing a pattern. I laughed as quietly as I could, looking to Emmett and Jasper behind me.

"Aren't you glad I didn't have brothers and sisters?" I asked them.

"Immensely." Jasper replied, but his smirk wasn't an upset one.

"Let's go in here." Alyssa suggested to us, "It's probably a good idea to stay out of Sammy's way. He's not happy." She found that funny, though. She led us into the living room and all it's tiny glory. Jasper and Emmett both seemed fine with standing, but I sat down beside Alyssa.

"So?" I prompted, and she glanced to the guys beside the couch. Knowing she'd have to be discreet.

"What do you want to know about?" She asked, "The uh.. Thing we talked about, or the thing you and Mikah talked about?"

"Both." I replied, "But they know about the first thing, so don't worry about that."

"But nobody else does." She muttered, keeping her voice down, "Mikah's still confused about how there's more money in the grocery box every week when he tries to add to it." I laughed, imagining his confusion.

"So is it fun?" I asked quietly, "Working?"

She hesitated, "Mostly. I don't mind it. It's taken a little while to get the timing right, to keep everyone else from knowing, but I got it figured out. I can pretty much just show up whenever I can."

"Still mad at me?" I asked, and she gave me a look.

"No." She replied as if that was obvious, "I know you were just worried about me, and nobody got in trouble for that, so why should I still be mad at you?"

Our conversation paused as we both clearly heard Sammy start his stomping way down the stairs.

"It's cold as shit outside." He growled as he rounded the bottom of the stairs, "Lazy ass." He didn't even care that I was sitting here.

"I do plenty." Alyssa snapped back at him, "It's not that hard."

"I do plenty of shit, too." He countered, already halfway into the kitchen.

"Laying around all day isn't doing stuff." She reminded him.

"Says who?" He asked, and I shook my head with a laugh.

Moments later, after the sound of gathering trash started, Alyssa looked to me.

"So?" She prompted herself, "What about Jack?"

I sighed, "No idea."

"Sorry." She mumbled, "I haven't really seen anybody I don't know lately. I've been looking."

"Don't." I replied, "Don't look for him."

"I can look." She countered, "Besides. I don't even know what he looks like. I could just look, and tell you if anything comes up around here that I find weird." I allowed that, shrugging a little, "That way, you know what to look for."

She paused again when Sammy came back through. Bitterly dragging a large trash bag behind him.

"Sammy, pick it up." Alyssa didn't like that, "The damn bag is going to tear."

"So?" He paused just inside the living room doorway.

"I just cleaned that floor!"

Pointedly, he lifted the bag, before he dropped it back to the floor. I winced, but the trash bag stayed intact.

"Sammy." She was warning him. He did it once more, and I just waited for the trash explosion.

"Sammy." Mikah was descending the stairs, "Just take it out."

With a very obvious eye roll, Sammy did as he was told. Yanking the door open with enough attitude to inflate a high school.

"I can't wait til I'm old enough to kick your ass." Sammy grumbled at him.

"Keep trying, buddy." Mikah replied easily. He finally found us, and seemed surprised at first.

"Hey." He chuckled, "Wasn't expecting to see you guys. Enjoying the show?" He gestured around the house.

"Very much." I answered, grinning.

"Mikah," Alex called from the kitchen, "Where's the fire extinguisher?"

Gritting his teeth, he held up a finger to us, and rounded. Sprinting to the kitchen.

"Anyway." Alyssa was unconcerned, but the situation in the kitchen had taken my attention.

"Is he going to be okay?"

"Alex?" She asked, "Or Mikah?" She knowingly grinned on his name, but I gave her a look. She giggled, but spoke again, "Yeah. Alex sets the kitchen on fire probably every day. Dad killed the fire alarm a long time ago because of it."

"Killed it?"

"He poked it too hard with a hammer." She answered, and to my surprise, imagining that made me laugh even more. It took her a second, but she started laughing too.

"Mikah will be fine too." She replied, "He gets mad all the time, but that's just because Alex loves to mess up."

"Get in there and sit down." Sure enough, Mikah kicked Alex out of the kitchen. Sammy came quickly stomping back inside, nearly running into Alex and slamming the front door behind himself.

"Fuck it's cold!" He gasped.

"It's not that cold, you big baby." I told him, and he looked to me. He looked like he wanted to say something, but spotted Jasper and Emmett standing there.

"Yeah, well.." He hesitated, "Shut up." That was probably a smart move.

"No." I challenged him, grinning, "You were out there for like thirty seconds. Are you really that weak?" I had to admit. Having Jasper and Emmett with me made me brave, but that wasn't really fair.

"You have no idea, kid." He replied, "I could always show you how 'weak' I am."

"I dare you." Emmett smiled politely his way, "Oh, _please_. Try it."

That definitely shut Sammy up. With a glare at Emmett, Sammy headed back up the stairs.

"Poor little pup." Emmett muttered, and Alyssa laughed.

"I've never seen him run away before." She told him, "He's not even afraid of Mikah." I looked up at Emmett, smiling a little at him. He smiled a little in return, patting my head lightly with his hand.

"Well, he's not stupid." Emmett replied to Alyssa, "He knows he's gonna watch himself around my sister."

"There." Mikah came back in from the kitchen, "Sandwiches are on the table, and the matches are hidden. Yet again." Alex flew to his feet, jumping over me on the couch in his haste into the kitchen.

"Ow." I grumbled at him. He stumbled on his landing, though, and hit the wall. Not letting that slow him down, he kept moving.

"One at a time, Alex!" Alyssa called after him before she looked to me, "Are you guys hungry?" I shook my head.

"No, not really. We had lunch before we came here." I laughed a little, which was true. Emmett and Jasper both declined as well, "But go ahead."

"You sure?" She asked, and I nodded, "I'll make it quick." I nodded again as she darted up. She hurried from the living room.

"Food!" She called loudly up the stairs on her way by, "Get it 'fore it's gone!" And even I heard movement. Tell-tale thumping told me both Sammy and Jon were on their way. Skidding down the stairs, arguing the whole way.

"Oldest first." Jon laughed, shoving Sammy into the hallway wall. I winced, wide eyed. He hit hard, but Sammy hardly noticed.

"Make sure Emily finishes hers, Alyssa." Mikah called toward the kitchen.

"'Kay." I heard her call in reply.

"What about you?" I asked, looking to Mikah, "Aren't you hungry?"

"Nah." He replied with a small smile, "I'll get something later." He sighed, "I'm sorry about all this. It's pretty crazy when we're all home."

"Don't worry about it." I replied, "I grew up without any brothers or sisters."

"Grew up?" He smirked, "You're still growing up, princess."

"You know what I mean." I sighed, "And that's not my name."

"I'm sorry." He laughed a little, "I don't mean that in a bad way, if that's what you're thinking, but only a princess would be so fiercely guarded." He gestured to Emmett, who grinned. Glancing up at the two of them, he did have a point. I allowed that with a shrug and a nod.

"I feel better with them with me." I admitted.

"And I don't blame you." He replied, "Hell, I'd feel better with them tagging along." I laughed a little, which he returned. It fell quiet for a moment, and I knew what was on his mind.

"So?" I prompted him just as I'd prompted Alyssa, "You don't have to give details, but I'm dying over here."

He chuckled, "Well.. So far, so good. There was one.. Incident, but nothing serious." I winced, hoping he wasn't meaning what I thought he was meaning. He went on, "Mom finished moving out a few days ago."

"She moved out?" I breathed, surprised.

"She did." He replied with a nod, "But I say good riddance. Honestly, she was more trouble than she was worth." I understood that one, "I'm just glad she didn't try taking any of the kids. I wouldn't have let them go if she had tried, and it probably wouldn't have gone as peaceful as it did."

"I don't blame you." I replied, sighing, "Geez, that's rough. I'm sorry."

"Don't be." He murmured, "We're glad she's gone." He seemed sincere, but I still felt bad, "She wouldn't have wanted the responsibility anyway. Having something depending on her for survival? Right."

"She sounds pretty worthless." Emmett muttered, "No offense."

"None taken." Mikah replied, "That's exactly what she was. The only thing she was good at was getting pregnant."

"Clearly." Jasper murmured, glancing up the hall toward the kitchen.

Mikah chuckled, "I'm actually a little surprised there isn't one younger than Emily. Not that I'm not grateful for that. We couldn't handle a diaper bill."

"That bad, huh?" I asked sadly.

"It's a miracle these kids aren't running around without shoes." He replied, "Things are tight. Let's just put it that way." I looked down, "And with Alex and Alyssa growing so quick, there are a lot of hand-me-downs going their way."

No wonder Alyssa jumped at accepting the clothes I didn't want. After learning this, she'd be getting a lot more from me. Just so she didn't have to run around in boy's clothes all the time.

"Have you tried thrift stores?" I asked him.

"Regularly." He nodded, "It's pretty awesome to get a bag full of clothes for five bucks." I nodded as well, sighing.

"But anyway." He continued, "The point is, with her gone, things are already getting better." That was a relief, at least, "I think she was pulling from the grocery money. I've noticed a definite extra amount each week." I bit my lip, looking down and trying not to smile, "I've even managed to save a bit for Christmas this year."

Just the mention, however, made it easy not to smile.

"I'm glad it's better." I sighed instead of commenting on that.

"Thanks to you." He replied, nodding, "I probably never would have gone that route had you not talked me into it. I was going to swing by your house tomorrow to fill you in, actually. Like I promised." I laughed a little.

"I beat you to it." I pointed out, "I'm not that patient. I don't think I could have waited until tomorrow."

I looked over as Alyssa returned with a small laugh. If she didn't already, she was going to have a stomach ache from eating too fast.

"Sammy and Alex are wrestling for the last sandwich." She reported as she landed next to me again on the couch.

"Shit." Mikah groaned again, and I laughed a little as he sprinted off toward the kitchen again. Leaving the room just as the floor thudded loudly, rattling the lamp beside me all the way in here.

"How does he do it?" I asked her and she looked over.

"Do what?"

"Keep everyone from killing each other, go to school, and keep a job?" I asked.

"Jon's not much help." She admitted, "Jon just makes it worse by offering to pay the winner money. I don't know how Mikah does it. I swear, me and him are the only ones who try so hard, but he tries harder than me even." She sighed, "He keeps everything running."

"Sammy kicked his ass." Jon reported on his way in from the kitchen.

"No duh." Alyssa replied, "He's nine. Sammy's thirteen. No contest." I looked over as Jasper pulled his phone out, distracted by the looks of it.

"Excuse me." He murmured to us, turning and leaving the house. Confused, I wondered who'd be calling him. Everyone knew where we were. Emmett met my confused gaze, giving a very tiny subtle shake of his head and a nod toward the kitchen.

I understood then. My understanding was confirmed as Mikah led Alex from the kitchen. Holding a bloody paper towel over his face with his head back. I blinked, surprised.

"Is he okay?" I asked, and Mikah sighed.

"He'll be fine." Mikah assured me, "But I might be awhile."

"No problem." I replied.

"I almost had him." Alex grumbled, more irritated than hurt. Sammy followed them far enough to stand beside Jon, chuckling to himself. Jon, however, stood there eyeing Emmett. Amused, no doubt, because they almost looked to be the same strength-wise, but I knew better. Emmett hardly noticed, however.

Alyssa sighed, "Jon, this is Emmett. Leandra's brother." I liked how she introduced him that way, instead of going into the truth. She looked to Emmett, "This is Jonathan, and that's Sammy." Officially introducing them, I could tell Alyssa was hoping to have avoided doing that.

Emily running in seemed to break the tension. She landed on Alyssa's lap, laughing a little. For a moment, Emily took my attention. I could suddenly easily see that Alyssa was very good at being a big sister, as she cuddled Emily tightly for a moment, drawing another little laugh from her.

The happiness in Emily's eyes made me look twice. What I remembered of being five, I was nowhere near that happy. With gray eyes that nearly matched Alyssa's to a tee, they seemed brighter in a way. Despite the way her mother was worthless, this kid was loved, and she knew it.

"So." Jon spoke up, his smirk still on Emmett, "You're the one that was supposed to be keeping these girls at your place." I frowned as I looked up at him. I didn't appreciate that.

"Well, kids will be kids." Emmett replied, not phased in the slightest.

"Pretty big fail on your part, though." Jon added simply.

"Shut up." I told him instead, but Emmett smirked right back at him. Jon chuckled at me, though.

"Still cute." Jon muttered condescendingly.

"Still got a big mouth." Sammy added.

"I don't see what's so wrong with that." Emmett spoke up.

"Oh boy." Alyssa muttered, and I could tell she was sensing the rising tension again. I doubted Emmett would ever do anything without a good reason.

"Right." Sammy laughed, "Nothing wrong with having a big mouth. Especially if she knows how to use it."

That was a pretty good reason.

Emmett had a hold of Sammy's shirt collar before I even knew what was going on. Nearly yanking him off his feet.

"Pardon me?" Emmett asked, "I don't think I heard you right."

"Emmett." I spoke up, standing and moving closer to him, "Let him go."

"Let him go." Jon agreed with me, and as funny as it was to think about Jon trying to hit Emmett, it wouldn't be so funny when Jon completely shattered the bones in his hand doing so.

Sammy just grinned, not at all bothered anymore. I assumed having Jon there made him feel better as much as having Emmett here made me feel better.

Emmett glanced to me, so I spoke again, "Let him go. It's okay."

No doubt having felt the anger from Emmett, Jasper stepped back inside. Only to see Sammy about to be beat into a bloody mess.

"You heard the bitch." Jon snapped at Emmett, and as much as I _hated_ hearing those words, I grit my teeth and refused to let that get to me.

I reached up, covering Emmett's hand balled in Sammy's shirt with my hand. Just that was enough to make him let go, much to my amazement. Before he could change his mind again, or go for Jon instead, I held Emmett's hand in mine, looking up at him. He glanced down at me.

Sammy stepped back, fixing his shirt smugly. I glared over at him and his grin was on me.

"I think we should go." I mumbled, "Quickly."

"Running away?" Jon chuckled, amused.

"Only for your safety." I countered, "You're lucky I was here." I was sure Jasper had a lot to do with it, too, but that was beside the point.

"Emmett." Jasper muttered, "Step outside." It took him a moment, before he did as Jasper said. Only after he moved to leave did I let go of his hand. Leaving the door open, probably for Jasper's benefit. I knew going out there would calm him down, so I took a breath.

"Smart choice." Jon nodded confidently, "Next time he puts his hands on my brother, I'll wreck him."

"Good luck with that." I snorted.

"Perhaps your brother should keep his thoughts to himself." Jasper added, "That would be a good way to keep all his teeth." I laughed a little, looking to a still-nervous looking Alyssa on the couch.

I ignored Jasper and Jon's conversation now, sitting briefly beside her.

"I'll see you later?" I asked her, and she took a deep breath, just as I had done.

"Sorry." She told me, "They're not the nicest people in the world. Sammy always says stuff that gets him into trouble."

"It's okay." I replied, "Don't even worry about it. I've definitely heard worse than that, and it's not your fault." She nodded a little, clearly feeling a little better.

"I'll be going to Mikah's store tomorrow after school." She offered, but I winced.

"I don't know if I can go." I replied quietly, "At least not until later."

"It's okay if you can't." She replied, "Just thought I'd let you know." I nodded a little. I was relieved she wasn't going to ask about why.

I stepped outside with Jasper close behind me.

"Now you know what I mean." I mumbled, reaching over and taking Emmett's tense hand in mine again. He sighed, holding my hand in return, glancing back at the house.

"Sorry, shorty." He replied, and I shook my head, unable to help smiling a little.

"He had it coming." I told him, "He was stupid to say that."

"Very." Emmett agreed, "That kid's only thirteen?"

"Jon's eighteen." I answered, "Alyssa says Sammy's learning a lot from Jon."

"Too much." Emmett grumbled, "You don't know how much that pisses me off."

"It's okay." I sighed, "I don't care."

"But I do." He countered, "Nobody says shit like that to my little sister. He got _extremely_ lucky you were there, or I'd have gladly smacked his stupid ass into a coma."

I couldn't help laughing. I found that _very_ funny, and somehow, my laughter calmed him down even more. Given his smile and quiet chuckle, quite a bit more.

We arrived home, and the first words from Emmett's mouth were to Esme.

"Somebody almost died today." He reported, leading me into the house, "I figured I should fess up to it on my own, instead of letting Jazz tell on me."

"What happened?" Esme wasn't exactly pleased by that news, so I chose to stay quiet, moving to her side. Leaning on her shoulder, biting my lip.

"Alyssa's brother." He explained, "His stupid mouth got him into a little bit of trouble, but he's alive." He frowned, "And unscathed, unfortunately."

"He said something about me that Emmett didn't like." I explained further. She sighed, "But don't blame Emmett. It wasn't very nice."

"What did he say?"

"Let's just say she's never spending the night over there." Emmett sighed, sitting across the table from us, "Her little friend can come over whenever, but shorty's not going over there. Not with that little punk still breathing without medical assistance."

I could understand that. I didn't blame him one bit, so I didn't bother to complain.

"It got to him pretty bad." Jasper sighed, "Believe me, it bothered me too, but someone had to calm him down."

"I tried." I frowned a little.

"You helped." Jasper assured me, "Considering the kid wasn't immediately unconscious, at very least, by the time I came back inside."

"Why were you outside?" Esme only seemed to be getting more confused.

"I guess lunch time typically involves bloodshed over there." Emmett answered this time, "Jasper made his exit after thirteen-year-old punched nine-year-old in the face over a sandwich."

"Goodness." She gasped, surprised.

"Thirteen-year-old is the one that almost died." I filled her in that far.

"And that was _normal._" Emmett replied incredulously, "Nine-year-old set the kitchen on fire, and.. How old is Mikah?"

"Sixteen." I answered.

"Well, him." Emmett waved it off, "The poor kid was running around trying to keep the house from burning to the ground, while eighteen-year-old just kept making things worse." I nodded, agreeing.

"Exactly how many kids are there?" She frowned, obviously not happy with what she was hearing.

"Six." I answered simply, "Ages five, nine, ten, thirteen, sixteen and eighteen. Plus their dad, who was probably at work, because he wasn't yelling at everyone to stop yelling at each other."

"No wonder their mom split." Emmett grumbled, "If that's how it is all the time, I'd have lost my mind. That place is a madhouse." I looked down.

"That's not why she split." I replied.

"Then why did she?" He asked.

"I still can't say." I sighed, "Just be glad she's gone."

As much as I wanted to see Alyssa and Mikah again, I didn't want to risk heading that direction the following day. I chose to stay home instead, which surprised no one.

It was mid December before we saw any snow. I missed the rain, and snow was nothing like rain, but it was something at least. The cloudy day was a very welcome change. Not only for me, I knew, but for the family as well. It'd been sunny pretty much every day since we got here, and that made them careful.

Days like today, when the clouds covered any hint of sunlight, they didn't have to be. It was getting to be the season where that would probably happen more often than before.

This had to be the longest stretch without a mess-up I'd gone with them before. Nearly a solid month without cussing in anger, or running off. Sometimes I still cussed when I messed up, or hurt myself somehow, but that was it. I was doing good.

I had the strongest feeling, however, that that was about to change.

Today, Alice felt the need to decorate for Christmas, and the first wreath I saw hanging up, my mood plummeted. I kept it in, though. Ignored it for the most part. I just stared out the window at the falling snow as Alice went nuts. Hanging stuff up, putting stuff out, lighting stuff up. I hated all of it.

I loathed the holiday, and wanted nothing to do with it.

"Leandra," She smiled from behind me, "Do you want to-"

"Not really." I mumbled, not bothering to turn.

"But you seem so bored." She said, "It's something to do." She knew how I always jumped at something to do. I wouldn't now, though. I shook my head, hoping she would listen, "Okay. Just let me know if you change your mind." Sitting on the padded sill seat, I leaned my head against the window as I brought my knees up to my chest.

I was fine watching the snow. The first snowfall of winter, and it already coated the front yard. It had been snowing all night.

Truth was, I was lonely. Sure, I had my family, but currently, I couldn't even turn around. I didn't want to see the decorated living room. I didn't want to be reminded of the stupid holiday, so I watched outside instead.

"Shorty." I didn't even look at Emmett trying to take my attention.

"What?" I muttered quietly.

"What's bugging you?" He asked, sitting next to me.

"Right now, you are." I replied, and he chuckled.

"Come on." He said, "It's been forever since you were like this. Why all of a sudden?"

"I suddenly feel like it." I sighed, drawing a pattern in the slight fog on the window with my finger.

"Let's go outside." He offered, "Maybe you're just cooped up."

I had to admit. That definitely sounded like a better idea than sitting there, hating every move Alice made.

"Okay." I agreed, standing. I kept my eyes down as I went upstairs to get my coat and shoes on. It only took a few minutes, before I came back down. Slipping out the front door, I instantly felt the cold nip at my nose and cheeks, probably turning them pink.

I found Emmett waiting for me across the yard with a hefty snowball in his hand and an evil smirk on his face.

"That's not fair." I warned, unable to help smiling.

I didn't even see him throw it before I suddenly had a face full of snow and I landed on my butt. I quickly cleared the snow from my face, my skin and eyes stinging at how cold it was. When I looked around again, Emmett was gone.

"Oh, come on!" I called, laughing as I stood back up.

I built my own snowball anyway, heading to the other side of the yard. Where I last saw him. I couldn't find him, until another large ball of snow hit my head from above. Exploding on my head in frozen confetti. I looked up, to see he'd jumped onto the roof.

"Cheater." I told him, and he sat down in the snow. Smiling innocently at me.

"Bet you throw like a girl." He told me, and I narrowed my eyes.

"I am a girl, dummy." I countered, throwing the snowball in my hand up at him. He let it hit him squarely in the face. I smiled. He always knew how to cheer me up. Sometimes, his efforts didn't work, but that was when I was really determined to stay in a sour mood.

It took perhaps thirty minutes, until our little one-sided snow battle turned into something more fun. Jasper and Alice joined us outside, and Alice regained a few points with me, by joining my little team, and of course, Jasper wasn't going to leave Alice to defend herself alone.

Now it was Emmett's turn to pout that it wasn't fair.

With snow dusting his hair, he peeked up over the wall in time to receive a snowball straight to the face. Alice hadn't thrown that one, so we looked the direction it had come from, and found Jasper smirking from across the street.

After that, the battle went from a battle, to a war. Forgetting about us girls, Emmett and Jasper continued on hunting each other on a more intense level. Snow-sniping each other to the point where it was very difficult to keep track of who was winning.

After enough of that, I started getting bored, and threatened to go back inside. Emmett quickly cut it out, and suggested something else. I thanked Alice for helping me out, and she grinned. She and Jasper went back inside, leaving us outside.

Since it had been snowing the entire night, and most of the day, there was more than enough snow to build a pretty decent sized snowman. Especially with as much room as we had in the yard.

The butt part of it was almost as tall as I was. Thankfully, Emmett had no problem lifting the only slightly smaller middle part, otherwise it would have been a sideways snowman. For the head, I could just barely lift that. Definitely not high enough to put it on top, but Emmett lifted me on his shoulders, so I could.

"Shorty." He told me with a smirk, and I knew he was picking on me.

"Shut up." I said, resting the smaller boulder of snow on Emmett's head, "I'm working on it." He knew I meant growing taller.

"You're like fifty pounds." He pointed out. I was actually surprised he didn't point that out every time.

"Fifty-eight, thank you." I muttered, kicking him a little.

"And how tall are you?" I narrowed my eyes at his questioning.

"Almost four foot." I answered, though he already knew, "Shut up. I know I'm small."

"You're not small." He said, "You're compact. There's a difference."

"I'm small." I laughed a little incredulously, "Carlisle says I still haven't caught up yet. I'm where an eight-year-old should be."

"You'll catch up." He said, "I'll start sneaking you some cookies."

"No." I laughed again, "I'll just get fat. Now hold still." I lifted the snowman's head, leaning forward and dropping it where it needed to be.

He held still, but continued talking, "You're too skinny."

"I'll live." I muttered in concentration, "I haven't died yet."

I'd just punched the head off the snowman for not sitting right when Carlisle got home. That was the only way I knew how much time had passed. Finally paying attention now, I noticed how it'd started getting dark.

Out of the blue, Emmett lobbed a snowball Carlisle's direction as he made his way toward the front door, but Carlisle moved just in time, and it poofed against the window instead with enough force to rattle the glass. That was enough to cure my irritation at the stupid snowman's head, and made me laugh.

I could imagine how much trouble Emmett would have gotten in if that snowball had broken the window. I almost wished it had.

"Nice try." Carlisle chuckled. I stayed balanced on Emmett's shoulders as he crossed his arms.

"You're too quick." Emmett pouted a little, "I'll get you, though. Don't you worry about that." Carlisle only smiled, shaking his head.

"Now we have to fix the head." Emmett laughed, already gathering snow again as Carlisle made his way inside, "Or poor Frosty's gonna stay headless."

"My fingers hurt." I told him, "You do it." It was true. My fingers were frozen stiff. He took my hand in his, pulling it around so he could look at my light pink fingers.

"Next time, wear some gloves." He said, releasing my hand and I nodded. He quickly built a perfectly round ball of snow much too small to be a head, and plopped it right where it was supposed to go before he turned, and headed for the door. I guess it was time to go in.

I scrunched down as he did, so he could fit through the door without knocking me out on the door frame.

I almost didn't want to go inside, but I was too cold to stay outside. I just wanted to get warm. Even thoughts of getting warm no longer mattered, though, as we went inside, and I gave an involuntary look around. Green, red and silver of many different shades met my eyes everywhere I looked, and I hated it.

Reaching up, Emmett easily lifted me off of him, and set me on my feet.

"Go put dry clothes on, shorty." He said, and I immediately obeyed. Loving the excuse to get away from the Christmas decorations.

Thankfully, nobody pressed. I knew they noticed my mood, but probably just assumed I was headed for another troubled week or something. I really didn't want to admit the reason.

I woke up bitter the following morning, and I knew exactly why. Just remembering all the decorations downstairs made me bitter. I hated Christmas with a passion. Not the holiday itself, but what it reminded me of. There was a very big difference, but the two coincided. They were stuck together.

Outside, it was snowing again. Tiny flakes, and no doubt much colder than the day before. A slight breeze taking those flakes my direction now and then. No chance of sunlight again, so that was a plus. I considered going back outside with Emmett later, but freezing my butt off didn't sound like much fun. The day was already looking gray.

Oddly, the sound of the doorbell downstairs caught my attention. I frowned, but didn't wonder too much about it. Maybe it was Mikah coming by to apologize for his brothers. Or maybe Alyssa coming by to do the same.

"Leandra?" Esme called me from downstairs, "Can you come down here, please?" That confirmed it. I sighed.

"No." I responded out loud, but got moving anyway. I climbed off my bed, and stepped from the room as slowly as I could. As much as I liked seeing Mikah or Alyssa, I just wasn't in the mood for it.

I kept my eyes down the entire way down the stairs until I reached the living room, coming to stand beside Esme. That was really the first time I looked up and around.

The first sight of who had just stopped by was all I needed to immediately raise my mood a few hundred thousand points. A grin immediately replacing my frown. It wasn't Mikah, or Alyssa.

Josh returned my grin, but Zack stood beside him, still amazed at the size of the house.

**A/N: YAY! :D I'm sorry this wasn't out before. I'd done a butt load of editing on this, then completely screwed up somehow without saving it. I was pretty mad, and needed a break before editing it all over again, just so I didn't kill everybody off.  
THANK YOU! To those that was gracious enough to review! THANK YOU!**  
**As it looks right now, there are four more chapters left to this. Unfortunately, this one is almost over, but then we can look forward to the revamped next story! :D**  
**Until Eleven, my friends! **


	11. Chapter 11

**ImPORTANT NOTE!: Some not so pleasant themes in this chapter. If you're sensitive to mentions of abuse, I'd stay cautious. Heads up.**

**Chapter Eleven**

I wasn't even sure what to call the noise I made as I ran forward.

"Whoa." Josh laughed, returning my hug as I nearly knocked him over. Zack, finally noticing my presence, laughed at the sight, "Miss me much?"

"What are you doing here?" I asked, letting him go to look at him, "N-Not that I'm not happy you are, but.."

"Dad wanted to visit his sister for Christmas." He answered with a grin, "Surprised?" I nodded, "Good. I thought I was going to explode with that secret."

I laughed also, hugging him again. Pinning his arms to his sides so he couldn't hug me back.

"You're never, ever allowed to leave." I told him, "Ever, ever, ever." I squeezed him tighter with each word, and he grunted a little, but laughed.

"You're pretty strong for a girl." Josh pointed out, "I missed you too, but I can't breathe." He grunted another laugh as I squeezed once more before letting him go.

"What about me?" Zack asked, pouting a little. I hugged him next, squeezing him until he grunted as well.

"You can stay too, I guess." I replied, but he knew I was joking, given his laugh along with mine.

I honestly couldn't believe they were standing there. It felt amazing to actually have them here, and even better, unexpectedly. With her having waited patiently, I looked up at Heather beside them.

"Sorry." I laughed a little, hugging her third. She returned it tightly, laughing as well.

"Zack." I heard Mike call from outside, "Come get this thing."

"Oh yeah." He just remembered, clearly. Rounding, and jogging outside.

"Thank you for bringing them." Esme spoke from behind me, "It means a lot."

"Believe me," Heather replied as I finally stepped back, "It's not a problem. The boys haven't stopped begging since you all left."

Zack returned, and what he held in his hand took my attention.

"For Pete's sake," Mike had followed him in, "Don't shake it."

In his hand, was a smaller, portable aquarium. Inside the small, lidded clear plastic box was a fairly small shell sitting on a bit of dirt and foliage. It was a turtle.

I laughed, peering closer at it. He grinned, lifting it higher for me to see clearer. Obviously freaked out, the turtle stayed hidden. I couldn't blame it.

"My early Christmas present." He reported proudly, "He's a box turtle. I got him, and Josh got a new bike, but he had to leave it at home."

"Hi, sweetie." Mike greeted me with a brief side hug, which I didn't mind returning.

"I hope you didn't name it after me." I muttered, and Zack grinned.

"No." He laughed a little, "I think he looks like my teacher, so I named him Mr. Jerk. Jerk for short."

"Okay, come on." Heather herded us all forward. No doubt so the front door could be shut without running us all over.

"Hold this." Zack requested, holding the box out to me. I immediately took it, and lifted it higher. Carefully, of course, looking at the shell while Zack removed his coat.

"I think its dead." I muttered, but Zack laughed.

"He's not dead." He replied, "Just scared."

"Yoohoo.." I called to it. I resisted the urge to shake the box, just to see if making it bounce around in there would make it decide to pop out.

"Watch." He said, taking the box from me.

"Don't take that dirty thing out right here." Heather told him, knowing exactly what he was thinking, "Leave it in there."

"Aww." Zack muttered, but set the box down carefully on the table. I kneeled down next to him, peering at the turtle while Josh took my other side.

"I swear, that thing has been more fascinating than the TV since he got it." Heather laughed, "I'm surprised it hasn't had a nervous breakdown yet with those eyes constantly watching it."

I didn't mind my place on the floor, staring at the turtle's motionless shell with the boys on either side of me, but Heather and Mike chose the more comfortable option. The couch.

It took several minutes, but sure enough, it started to poke its ugly head out of its shell. It was probably the movement that kept it hidden away. I mostly ignored the discussions around me, focusing on Josh and Zack.

"He lives in this thing?" I asked, lightly tapping the side of the box. Making sure to make no noise.

"No, he's got a bigger cage at the hotel, but I wanted to show him to you." Zack replied, "He's just a baby, so he doesn't need that much room yet. When he gets bigger, it won't be so easy."

I nodded a little, inspecting it closer.

"How long are you guys here for?" I asked, looking over at Josh.

"Here," He replied, meaning this town, "Until Wednesday. Then we go to dad's sister's house in Rochester."

"Oh." I replied, surprised. That was almost a week.

"I guess she's like super excited." Josh laughed a little, "We don't normally show up at her place until summer."

"I'll hide you under my bed." I promised, "So you won't have to go."

"I think they might notice." He replied, and we laughed, "You might get away with hiding Zack, though. Mom forgot him at Wal-Mart once."

"I did not." She caught that, "I didn't even get out of the parking lot."

I laughed anyway, picturing that.

"But you still left him in there." Josh countered, but she waved it off.

"She probably just liked how quiet it was." I pointed out.

"Hey." Zack frowned over at me, but Josh laughed.

I didn't feel as bad showing them my room after that. I had five days to spend with them, and I looked forward to every single one. Besides that, I knew the others probably wanted to get Heather's take on everything regarding Jack without us listening in, so I took the boys up to my room. Turtle and all.

"Holy crap." Zack was as impressed with my room as Alyssa was, but he didn't seem as uncomfortable.

"See?" I asked, "There's plenty of room for you guys in here. Plus there's like a million spare rooms." As much as I was pressing it, I knew they couldn't stay. No matter how much I wanted them to.

While they lounged on my bed, I stepped into my closet and changed out of my pajamas. Choosing a light purple sweater and jeans. While holding a conversation with them.

"What's your school like?" Zack asked me, and I hesitated. I wouldn't mention the fact that I didn't go anymore.

"It's huge." I replied through the partially open door, laughing a little, "Way too many people."

"Bet you wish you'd gone to the one in Forks, huh?" He asked.

"No." I answered, "Not really."

"Well, do you have any friends here?" Josh asked, and I realized. I'd never told them about Alyssa. I wasn't even sure why.

"One." I replied, stepping back out once my jeans were fastened.

"You actually have a friend?" Zack asked, surprised.

"I had two back home, dipshit." I reminded him, "You guys."

"We're different." He pointed out, and I knew he had a point, but I didn't feel like agreeing with him. Josh had found the stuffed turtle, and was tossing it up.

"So?" Josh prompted, "Who is it?"

"Her name's Alyssa." I replied, and Zack smiled.

"Is she cute?"

"Ew." I pushed him off the bed, and he tumbled to the floor, "You're just as bad as she is. Good luck getting passed her brothers, though."

"Brothers?"

"Four of them." I replied, and that eased the smile right off his face, "Three older, one younger, but don't think the younger one is weak."

"We have to meet her before we go." Josh pointed out, poking the bottom of my bare foot, "Just to be sure she's a good friend for you."

"If she's not, it's a little late to be worried about it."

"Good point." He muttered, "But still."

"Did you ever talk about us?" Zack asked, sitting back down.

"All the time." I replied almost proudly, "She wouldn't say no to meeting you guys. It's getting permission to go over there that's going to be the problem."

"Why?" Josh frowned.

"She doesn't live that far from here." I replied, "But it's her brothers that are the problem. A couple of them, they're.. Not very nice, and Emmett doesn't think I should be around them. I don't blame him."

"I'll kick their butt for you." Josh smiled a little, and though I returned it, I shook my head.

"You wouldn't want to do that." I sighed, "Trust me. Maybe later, we can go visit Mikah, and see if it's okay to head over there."

"Now, who's Mikah?" Zack frowned.

"One of her nice brothers." I laughed, "He works at a store nearby. He's always working in the afternoons."

"Why don't you just have Emmett go over there and kick their butt?" Zack asked.

"Because I don't want him to have to pay any hospital bills."

"Yikes." He muttered, looking down at the turtle trying to crawl up the side of the small aquarium.

"Yeah." I sighed, "He'd do too much damage."

"What'd they do anyway?" Josh asked.

"Said some stuff they shouldn't have." I shrugged a little, "Don't ask."

"What'd they say?" Zack asked anyway, and I laughed. He only did it to be funny, though.

I hadn't even really realized before just how much I still missed them. I had no doubts this was planned by someone, and I was determined to find out who it was, so I could thank them a million times. Despite the way they couldn't stay, I would make the most of these next five days.

To pass the time, Zack insisted I hold the stupid turtle. Before he even placed it in my hands, it folded back into its shell. I held it anyway, looking it over. It peeked out at me, but didn't move to show itself.

"Animals don't like me." I laughed a little.

"Maybe you smell weird." Zack muttered as I handed the turtle back to him.

"Maybe." I sniffed the sleeve of my sweater, but didn't find anything wrong with it. Josh took my arm and sniffed my sleeve as well. Shaking his head with a shrug, he didn't find anything off either.

"For the record," I said, "It's rude to sniff someone when they haven't said you could."

"Sorry." He laughed, "But you smell fine to me."

"I got attacked by a cat because I tried to pick it up." I told them, "I would hate to see what would happen if I ever showed up at a zoo." The turtle poked its head out, and I laughed, "See? That's the ugliest thing I've ever seen, and I've seen a lot of ugly things."

"Jerk isn't ugly." Zack defended him, "He's.. Uh.." He looked him over, "Okay, yeah. He's a little ugly."

As it turned out, I didn't have to go to Alyssa's house. It'd been a few days since I last saw her, so apparently, she wanted to come over. The doorbell sounded suspiciously like her arrival, so I led the boys back downstairs before anyone had to call me.

"Hey." I smiled a little as I spotted her just being let in the door. Mikah right behind her. To my surprise, Alex and Emily behind him. Why did they feel the need to bring along half their family?

"I'm _sorry_." She said the second she saw me, and I blinked in surprise.

"For what?" I asked.

"Well, for Sammy." She replied, glancing to the boys behind me.

"You already said that." I reminded her with a laugh, "It's okay. Sorry I couldn't go by the store last week."

"You're not mad?" She asked.

"I'm not mad." I replied easily, "Why would I be mad at you for what your stupid brother said?"

"Emily." Mikah called her quietly, probably to keep her from touching stuff.

"I think we run a daycare now." Emmett pointed out from the side, but the look Esme gave him made me laugh a little.

"I was even going to come over." I pointed out, continuing on with Alyssa, "Either later today, or tomorrow."

"We beat you to it." Mikah chuckled, lifting Emily off her feet, and I gave him a look.

The introductions took a little while, but soon enough, everyone was caught up with everyone. It was about that time that I realized just what all these humans were probably doing to poor Jasper, but then again, I hadn't seen him all morning. Maybe Alice rescued him before he needed rescuing, knowing Heather was on her way with everyone.

Just in case, however, I led all the kids outside, since they outnumbered the human adults.

Mikah helped Emily with building a miniature village made of snow off near the safety of the porch, while the rest of us had a pretty heated snowball fight. Unfortunately, Alyssa and I were outnumbered by one, but not long into the fight, Alex switched teams. Then I switched teams, nailing him in the face with a tightly packed ball of snow.

Then Josh, Zack, and I all watched as Alyssa turned on Alex, and they started pelting each other. Zack and Josh joined in that game, sibling against sibling, which I really didn't feel like trying to participate in. So I found a decent observing seat on the front wall. If Zack was worried about Alyssa throwing like a girl, he had no reason to be. She hit Josh more times than he did.

Not long into watching them, I found my attention was taken by Mikah. Watching him helping Emily, but she really didn't need any help. He was mostly just there to keep her company, talking to her so she didn't need to play rough with the older kids.

For once, he caught me watching him, and I didn't bother looking away. He smiled a little at me, and I returned it. He went back to talking to Emily, seconds before I caught a snowball to the face, and fell backwards off the wall with a yelping squeak.

Falling four feet into the snowdrift behind me wasn't as fun as someone would think, considering that height was taller than I was, but it could have been a lot worse had something sharp or solid been hidden in the snow. I wasn't even sure who had thrown it, but found that out seconds later.

"I'm _so_ sorry." Josh peered over the wall at where I still laid, "Are you okay?" The others caught up, all peering over the wall at me too. Including Mikah.

"I'm fine." I laughed after a few more seconds, rolling over to get up. Josh offered his hand, and I gratefully took it, pulling myself up.

"I was aiming for Zack, but he ducked." Josh explained.

"Maybe I shouldn't sit there." I laughed a little, dusting the snow off my coat. With that, Alyssa got everyone else right back into their little war.

It was _freezing_ out here, but I seemed to be the only one who noticed.

"I hope your friends can handle rough play." Mikah murmured, and I looked over at him.

"Trust me." I replied, "If anyone can handle playing rough, it's those two." He smiled a little, nodding. We found a seat on the front porch steps beside where Emily built snow-people, oblivious to anything else.

"I'm sorry I called you an asshole that day." I finally told him, and he laughed. I hadn't apologized for that yet.

"Well, I deserved it." He replied, looking down at me, "I shouldn't have assumed you were seven. That was very insensitive of me."

I looked down, smiling to myself. Dusting my gloved hands free of snow.

"So." He spoke up, "Alyssa and I had a very interesting discussion yesterday." I stayed quiet, not sure what he was getting at. He continued, "She finally fessed up about where she's been going for a couple of hours every day." I winced. He knew about her job.

"Don't be mad at her." I requested quietly, "There's so much more to her than her age."

"I'm not mad at her." He replied, "And you're right. It's just hard for me to see her as anything but that kid." I smiled a little. I playfully pushed against his shoulder.

"She's growing up, big brother." I pointed out.

"I know." He chuckled a little, "But a _job_? That happened overnight."

"If she can handle it, why not?" I asked, "You've done so much for them. Let her help out."

He sighed, "I was hoping she'd put that off for at least a few more years." I stayed quiet. Not sure what to say. Eventually, he sighed again and looked over at me, "But you know, there's a lot more to you than your age, too."

"Nah." I muttered, "I'm nothing special. Not like her."

"You're wrong." He replied, "Everyone has more to them than they're willing to see. I'm the first to admit that, but you.." He trailed off.

"She told you." I mumbled, figuring it out. I glanced up at him, and his soft, apologetic smile gave it away. I shook my head a little, "Now you know why I needed you to do something. It meant a lot to me."

He nodded a little, "I can see why."

"I didn't have it so easy." I added, "I never wanted a brother or sister before. Now I kind of wish I did have one."

"But you do."

"Back then, I mean." I replied and he nodded, "Someone worth being strong for." We fell quiet for a few seconds, until I mumbled, "What all did she say?"

"She said.." He paused, "That what you went through was a little tough."

"I wasn't really honest with her." I muttered, and he frowned a little, "What I went through was worse than what I told her." He nodded a little, understanding now, "But I didn't want her to know how bad it could get."

"Leandra, she's a big girl." He reminded me, "She's tougher than you're giving her credit for."

"I know." I mumbled, looking down, "But there are some things that are just mine."

"The movie?" He prompted, and I nodded, "Right."

"I won't tell her about that part." I assured him, "I won't do that to her. Sometimes, she just seems so different, but other times, she's so much like me."

"Despite what she's been through," He explained, "She's still blind to a big bit of the worst side of humanity. Shockingly, considering what kind of people Sammy and Jon are. They haven't completely ruined that for her yet. For that, I am grateful."

I nodded a little, agreeing with him.

"Leandra," He spoke again, "I just want you to know that.. Well, what you've done for us is amazing."

"I didn't do anything." I frowned a little.

"Without your insisting, nothing would have changed." He pointed out, "Then, to find out how much you've been through yourself? Do you know how amazing you are? Do you even understand what kind of person that makes you?"

I stayed quiet, my eyes stinging with welling tears in the cold.

"The price.." He spoke quieter now, "The price you've paid for someone who never deserved to know your name is a lot. I can't imagine what kind of toll that's taken on you, and for that, I can only say I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault."

"I know that." He replied, "But I am. I'm truly sorry, Leandra. I'm sorry for what he's done to someone so wonderful. He didn't know what he had."

I was trying _so_ hard not to cry.

"But you know.." He went on, "For what it's worth, I'm truly grateful to know you." That surprised me, "I admire you. More than you know, and now I can finally understand the strength I see in you." He smiled a little, and once more, it was contagious. I smiled a little, sniffling and looking back down.

"Well." He chuckled after a minute of silence, "Now that I've thoroughly made an ass of myself.."

"No." I replied, shaking my head, "Thanks. Thank you for telling me that." I looked over at him, "Don't you have to work today?"

"Nah." He said, "I took the day off, actually. I figured that old store wouldn't miss me for one afternoon. Talking with Alyssa last night, I figured out that I've been working more than spending time with her and the other kids. I need to spend more time with them. She wanted to come over here, so I figured it couldn't hurt. She was so worried that you were mad at her."

"I'm not mad at her." I laughed a little, "I don't know why she thinks I would be."

"I can understand it." He nodded a little, "After she told me what Sammy pulled. I wouldn't have blamed Emmett one bit if he'd pummeled him."

"I don't want that." I replied, "Not for Sammy's benefit, but for Emmett's. He's too good of a person to beat somebody up like that over someone like me."

"For the record, I would have." Mikah pointed out, "Without hesitation."

We both fell quiet, turning to look back as the door opened behind us. Carlisle, Esme, Heather and Mike all filed outside onto the porch, the turtle's box in Heather's hand, protected in one side of her coat, so I gathered that it was about time for the boys to get going. It'd been a long drive, no doubt. I knew they didn't take a plane here, because I recognized the SUV sitting in the driveway as Mike's.

"Boys." Heather called as I stood up, "Come here."

"Aw." Zack immediately whined, ignoring the snowball that splatted against his head, "But we just got here."

"Just come here." She insisted, and they both sighed heavily, crossing the yard. Both obviously disappointed. Up the steps, both covered in snow. She laughed a little at the looks on their faces, "Carlisle and Esme have agreed to let you stay the night here."

Instantly their disappointment faded, and they grinned.

"But." Mike spoke up, "On one condition. Both of you will be on your best behavior. The _best_ behavior you can ever imagine." They both nodded at once, "No crude jokes or noises. I mean that, Zack. No running around. You'll go to bed when they say it's bedtime, no complaints."

"No problem." Josh grinned, "We'll be perfect angels."

"I'm scared." Mike admitted, looking to Heather.

"They'll be fine." Esme assured them with a laugh, "I'm sure they'll be perfect gentlemen." I snorted, but Josh gave me a look.

"It'll be nice to get some rest after that drive." Heather admitted with a sigh, "You're sure you're up for this?"

"It's quite alright." Carlisle replied, and she smiled.

"Okay." Heather sighed again as she looked to the boys, "Behave yourselves." She kissed both of them on the head, and both complained in embarrassment, "We'll be back to get you two in the morning. They have permission to whoop your butts if you pull any stunts you shouldn't. Remember that." They both winced, "And if they have to, you get another one from Dad when we find out." I doubted they'd do that, even if they did really deserve it, but they didn't know that.

That sealed it, given their immediate nods. They'd behave.

I was a bit distracted as seconds later, Alyssa dropped a handful of snow down the back of my coat, so I had to turn around and chase her, only to get tackled by Alex. He came running from the side, knocking both him and I off our feet.

That was even less fun than falling off the wall, but I couldn't help laughing a little at how that must have looked to everyone else.

"Like that was fair." I faked a glare, struggling out from under him, only to turn and shove his face into the snow.

"We'll be seeing you tomorrow, Leandra." Mike called to me, and I immediately stood up.

"Okay." I replied, "Thank you for letting them stay."

"Believe me, it's no problem." He chuckled, "They're your headache for tonight." I knew he was joking, as he hugged Zack.

Alyssa and the others stayed for dinner, which was an adventure, to say the least. Esme, however, definitely seemed up to the task of feeding six frozen and starving kids, _and_ Mikah.

I hadn't stopped for a bad memory yet. Aside from the talk I had with Mikah, I hadn't thought of anything in that direction all day. I hadn't had a chance to. Between running up and down the stairs for various reasons, trying to keep up with the conversations of the others, and often more than one person wanting my attention for whatever question or statement they had at a time, I was thoroughly distracted.

I lost count of how many times we laughed at something stupid said, and it was nice to just laugh for no reason again, and to have everyone on the same page sense of humor wise. Aside from Emily, everyone found the same things funny that I found funny. Josh might have been two years older than half of us, but he didn't act like it.

Mikah was less than eager to allow Alyssa to stay the night too, though. So they eventually went home, leaving only Josh and Zack with me.

Running off or exploring didn't cross any of our minds the entire time, and I was pretty sure that was what made everything go as smoothly as it did. Emmett chose the movies we watched, and though I was pretty skeptical at first, he chose ones with minimal blood but plenty of explosions to keep the boys entertained.

It was bedtime sometime after eleven, as we were all pretty worn out at that point. I didn't mind sharing my bed again, even though it was a little tighter of a squeeze this time. We went to bed, and stayed there. Aside from laying there, laughing about stupid stuff for a few minutes, we all eventually dropped off to sleep. Josh was first, laying between us, so Zack joked about painting little flowers all over his face. As funny as that was, neither of us insisted on it.

Neither of the boys asked about the nightlight, aside from pointing out how useful it would be at night when someone needed to find the bathroom. I managed a few hours of sleep, but snoozed the rest. Thankfully, Zack's light snoring on the far side of the bed woke me up before a nightmare could. Josh managed to wake me up at some point during the night too, trying to climb out of bed without waking anyone up. I faked staying asleep, though, just so he didn't feel bad.

For the third day in a row, it was cloudy in the morning, but I had a feeling it would clear up later, because it wasn't snowing anymore. Apparently, we were "awake" before Esme this time, but Zack's hunger wouldn't wait, so the cereal and milk came out downstairs in the kitchen.

A light argument about whether or not a person could sneeze while they were fully asleep ensued, because that was how Josh knew Zack was awake.

Zack's argument was that if a person could fart while they're fully asleep, then they could sneeze, but I argued that it wasn't the same thing. Not even close. That while a person was fully asleep, they didn't feel the tickle it took to make them sneeze. They didn't feel anything. They'd have to be at least a little bit awake to feel it, and the sneeze would wake them up even more.

Josh agreed with me, but Zack stood by his argument.

Esme and Carlisle found us right about the time our argument was winding down.

"No you can't." I shook my head. Meaning, sneeze while asleep.

"Yes you can." He replied just as confidently.

"_No_." I countered.

"_Yes_." He sighed.

"Can't."

"Can."

"_Can't_." He was annoying me.

"_Can_."

"What are you two arguing about?" Esme asked with a quiet laugh, but I knew she knew what it was.

"Zack says a person can sneeze while fully asleep," Josh explained, "Leandra says a person can't. So how 'bout this.." He looked to me, "No, you can." He looked to Zack, "And yes, you can't. There. It's settled."

That confused both of us enough to shut us up. By the time we figured out what he'd said, the argument was gone. I gave Zack a look and he returned it. I knew I was right, but he wouldn't admit it.

"She's actually right." Carlisle told him, "Once fully asleep, you cannot sneeze."

"Ha." I grinned at him.

"Why not?" Zack frowned.

"As she accurately stated, while you're asleep, you don't feel the need to sneeze as the nerves that send the sneeze reaction are shut down. Along with many others."

"Ha." I said again, laughing a little.

"You would have to wake up at least enough to wake up those nerves in order to sneeze." He added, and Zack nodded.

Surprisingly, I was actually allowed to go out to lunch with them and their parents, but I couldn't help thinking about the way I knew I was watched, and not in the good way. I knew the general color of the car Jack was in, so every dark blue car I saw parked or driving by, I looked closer at. Seeing nobody I recognized.

After awhile, though, I stopped letting that distract me. I made sure to stick close to either Mike or Heather, just in case. I knew neither of them would let anything happen to me, even if this area hadn't been packed with people. We really did live on the outskirts of the city. It made me dizzy to think about how big this city actually was.

I hadn't seen this side of the city before. Not stopping to be able to look around, so it was pretty exciting to me. The sun showed up that afternoon, the sky streaked with left over clouds, but hardly doing anything to block the sunlight. Though the sun was out now, it was still really cold.

Zack and Josh managed to find a patch of ice they hadn't gotten to with the salt, and went 'ice skating'. I wasn't brave enough to try it, so I just watched. About the third time they landed on their butt, Mike put a stop to that with a warning about cracking their head open.

No matter how much fun I had that day, though, I couldn't deny that I was eager to get back home. I was dropped off after an early dinner, but this time, they took the boys with them after visiting with Esme for a few minutes. Another behavior report, but I wasn't worried. I was more often than not better behaved than the boys were.

After that, every day was a repeat of the day before, out and about with the boys and their parents, and with all this activity, I found I slept deeper than I had in so long. The way I slept reminded me a lot of when I'd take the sleep-aid, but without being locked in my head the whole night. The most I'd wake up was to find my way to the bathroom at two in the morning, but it was always right back to bed.

This was more familiar than my entire time here. Just like it was back home, spending time away from my family and giving them a break while they knew I was safe. More importantly, I knew I was safe. I knew Heather wasn't ever taking any chances with us, and not just because Josh and Zack were her life.

I missed this more than I thought before, but before I even knew it, it was the last day I'd have them. I had _so_ many new pictures of them, so that was a small plus to the bigger, sadder situation. I didn't want them to go.

I chose to walk with them later that afternoon, though. Surprisingly, I was allowed to walk with them to Alyssa's house. Without Heather or Mike, I found myself a little more paranoid, but they didn't let that keep me worried for very long.

"I'm jealous." Zack muttered, and I looked over at him, "You have _so_ much to do around here."

"I miss home." I admitted, sighing, "It's too big here. Harder to find someone who might need found."

"Like?" He asked, frowning in confusion.

"In general." I replied.

"Well, it's boring at home." He added, about to step off the sidewalk to cross the street. Taking a hold of the back of his coat, I yanked him back as seconds later, a car drove by. In an extra hurry, since the stop light for them had just turned yellow.

"Thanks." He whimpered, and I nodded a little. That really reminded me of Mikah, though, and surprisingly, my sadness eased quite a bit.

"See?" He pointed out once it was safe to cross, "Back home, I don't almost get hit by cars. It's boring." I had to shake my head.

I couldn't help it. Stopping in at the store to pay Mikah a visit. He greeted us with a smile, like he always did. I smiled back a lot easier than I had before, and I definitely started to notice a difference in the way I felt. It was stupid, I knew, but it wouldn't change.

Instead of hating the way he made me blush, it made me happy. It made me smile. I looked forward to seeing him, and thought about him when I wasn't around him. There was nothing about him that I didn't like.

By the time we left, I thought I'd die from blushing too much, but I didn't care.

"What's with you?" Josh laughed as we rounded the corner to Alyssa's street, "I've never seen you so red. You're as red as Zack's shirt."

"No." I denied instantly, "Nothing."

He laughed, "Uh-huh."

I ignored that, smiling to myself a little as we continued on.

Unfortunately, it was Sammy that answered the door, and without Emmett here, I prepared myself for whatever he might say.

"Well, look who it is." He grinned, "I knew you'd come around."

"I'm here to see Alyssa." I snapped in reply, "Is she here?"

"With that attitude, she's not." He replied casually, leaning against the door frame, "But I can sure entertain you better than she can."

I sighed, "Do I really have to come back with Emmett?"

"I'm not afraid of him." He snorted.

"You should be." I replied, "Trust me. Now is she here or not?" Glancing over, the boys didn't like him either. Josh's look alone was full of enough disgust for the both of us. They didn't much approve of his cocky attitude.

"Maybe." Sammy smiled sweetly, "What do I get if I tell you?"

"Nothing." I muttered with a frown.

"Come on." He chuckled, "I'm not that bad of a person, am I?"

"I think so." I countered. Sighing again, I looked to Zack and Josh, "Come on. We'll come back later with Emmett." Before I could even fully turn, Sammy chuckled.

"Alyssa." He called toward the stairs, "Your bitch of a friend is here." I glared at him. He stepped back, waving us in sarcastically, "Come on in, your highness."

"No thanks." I grumbled, "I'd rather wait out here, thanks."

"I really get to you, don't I?" He chuckled, obviously entertained, "Keep me in mind, baby."

"Only if I get to set you on fire." I countered, and that only made him grin wider.

"I know you don't like me," He told me, "But I sure like you." He reached out and cupped my chin, but before I could punch him, Zack shoved his hand away at the wrist.

"Oh, tough little guy." Sammy murmured, looking Zack over.

"Yeah." He agreed sharply, "Leave her alone. She doesn't like you."

"So?" He laughed.

"So." Zack replied, "She's like a sister to me. Touch her again, I'll rip your hand off and shove it down your throat." I wasn't sure if he was fully aware of how much bigger Sammy was than him, but I also wasn't sure if he cared. Either way, it'd be at least two against him, since I knew Josh wouldn't leave his little brother to defend himself alone.

"Sammy, leave her alone." Alyssa came jogging down the stairs, probably in a hurry to rescue me from him. Undeterred by Zack's anger, Sammy kissed at me before turning and walking away.

Alyssa glared after him, much the same way I did, before stepping outside with me. I took a breath, looking over at Zack.

"Thanks." I told him, and he smiled a little. He was still pissed, though, but I couldn't blame him for that.

"What's his problem?" Josh asked her, gesturing Sammy's direction before she shut the door.

"I don't even know." She sighed in reply.

"Isn't he a little old for her?" He asked, calmer now. Probably to keep her from thinking he blamed her.

"His girlfriends now are eleven." She replied, "He and Jon make it a game."

"A game?" I asked.

"Yeah." She said, "How many girls Sammy can claim are his girlfriends at once. The younger ones are easier to convince, I guess. It's stupid." I wasn't entirely sure she knew what exactly he was probably doing with those girlfriends, but I wasn't about to explain it to her either.

"Well, I'm not going to be one of them." I muttered.

"He says that makes it better." She replied, "It makes it more fun for him that you hate him so much."

"Ugh." I grumbled.

"Well, he needs to stop it." Josh muttered, "I give Emmett permission to knock him out." I laughed a little, which helped my mood, "I wouldn't think any less of him."

"He wants to." I replied, "But anyway.." I wanted to change the subject as I looked to Alyssa, "Zack and Josh are leaving tomorrow morning."

"Aw." She frowned.

"I know." I pouted a little, "Their mom would notice if I stashed them, though, so I can't keep them."

"We can stash them here." She laughed, "Not much room, but we just have to wait for their parents to give up and leave." It made me feel better, knowing they got along so well.

We wound up staying a little while, just talking outside, but eventually, Alyssa got cold. Not really wanting to go inside to be harassed by Sammy even more, she said her goodbyes out here.

Walking back to my house without incident. I had to briefly stop again at the store, only to get a joking bark from Mikah.

"Get on home, young lady." He told me, "Don't you know it's cold outside?"

"It is?" I asked, surprised and he chuckled.

We were discussing Sammy by the time we got back, and unfortunately, the discussion didn't end when we got there. Naturally, Zack had to recount everything for their parents, but I couldn't blame them for that either. It irritated them so bad.

I sat between Esme and Heather on the couch, keeping my eyes down and not offering much of my own explanation, considering the boys pretty much had it covered.

I did add one thing.

"Zack was pretty brave." I muttered, nodding, "Sammy is bigger than Josh."

"Yeah." He sheepishly agreed, "That would have really sucked, but I would have done a number on him too."

"I don't want that." I told him, "Just ignore him."

"I can't just ignore him when he's talking to you like that." He frowned, "You nuts?" I rolled my eyes a little, but I'd let him have this one, "He's a creep. Alyssa's cool, and so is Mikah, but that kid needs a good ass kicking."

"Zack." Heather corrected him and he looked to her.

"What?" He asked, "It's true. You'd think so too if you heard him. All he wants is to add her to his group of girlfriends."

"Ugh." I grumbled again, cringing and shaking my head.

"So full of himself." Zack grumbled along with me, "A good butt kicking would do wonders for that stupid ego of his." Heather sighed and shook her head as well, "Alyssa says it's because the younger ones are easier to convince, but I don't think that's how it should be."

"You got that right." Mike agreed with him, "There's a limit." He was pissed too. More tense about it than Heather was, but he was holding it back. He knew as well as I knew what Sammy wanted those girlfriends for.

"I'll never do that." Zack sighed, finally sitting down, "I'd rather stay single if I have to find girls three years younger than me just to get a girlfriend."

I smiled a little over at him. I doubted he'd have to look very far to find a girlfriend when he was old enough to want one anyway. He wasn't bad looking, but neither was Sammy. Zack did have Sammy beat in the personality area, though. He was strange, but he was nice enough. He was nice to everyone, which was why it surprised me to see him angry at Sammy. Before today, I didn't think he had it in him to be actually mad.

"When you're older, say in your twenties, it won't matter as much." Mike pointed out, "But a ten year old? Come on, now. What is that father teaching those boys?"

"It's not their dad." I replied, "It's Jon. Their oldest brother. He's the one teaching Sammy. Mikah tries with him, but there's not much he can do when Sammy listens to Jon more than him."

"Well, it's inexcusable." Mike sighed, "And it's a damn shame. It's delinquents like that that make the world a worse place, if you ask me."

I agreed with him there, but I didn't say anything.

"Don't you fall for it, sweetheart." Mike told me, "You deserve much, much better than scumbags like that." I smiled a little.

"I won't." I replied, "Don't worry about me."

"She likes Mikah more than him anyway." Zack laughed a little, and I reached over, hitting him, "Ow."

"The older one?" Mike asked, and Zack nodded, "Oh, boy." He chuckled.

"No I don't." I denied it instantly.

"Given that blush, I'm less inclined to believe you." Mike said, and I covered my face, much to his amusement.

"She was _red_ earlier." Zack laughed again, and I tried to climb over Heather to shut him up on my own, but she caught me with a laugh of her own. Zack cringed anyway, scooting over out of my reach.

"No I wasn't." I denied again, "Stop making stuff up."

"There's nothing wrong with having a little crush." Heather assured me, before looking to Zack, "Stop picking on her. Remember when you had that crush on your second grade teacher?"

That instantly shut him up. He pursed his lips, looking down, and it was my turn to laugh.

"Really?" I asked, disbelief in my tone.

"Oh, yeah." She replied, laughing again, "He was so in love that he cried when school had to end for the summer. Poor kid was heartbroken. Honestly, though, I've never seen him try so hard in school since."

"Ha." I told him pointedly, "So leave me alone."

"At very least now we know she has good taste." Heather added, "Mikah seems like a really nice boy." She didn't even know the half of it.

I really hated to see them go. Knowing they wouldn't have time to stop in the next morning if they wanted to get where they were going before the next snow storm came by.

"It was great to see you again, sweetie." Heather told me, hugging me, "Take care of yourself, and please be careful." I wasn't sure if she was referring to Sammy or to Jack, but either way, she cared deeply.

"I will." I replied, "You too." I meant that. I had a suspicion that if Jack saw me with them, he'd be pissed.

"Don't you worry about us, honey." She cleared my hair from my face with her palm, "We'll be just fine." I nodded a little, sighing. I hoped she was right.

It was hard seeing them go, but now I had time to spend with my family. I hadn't seen much of them at all lately, and I missed them.

I sighed again, sitting down beside Esme once more.

"I don't want you going over there alone." She told me, and I looked over.

"To Alyssa's house?" I asked, "I thought I wasn't allowed over there alone anyway."

"Definitely not now." She murmured, hugging me into her side. Did the things Zack reported to them really bother her that much? She seemed uneasy.

"I won't." I told her, looking up at her, "I don't want to go over there again without Emmett with me anyway." She nodded to that, believing me. I meant it. Truthfully, I didn't like that attention from Sammy. It bothered me. Maybe she could tell that it bothered me.

The days passed too quickly after that.

I got back into doing my chores eagerly each day, always doing more than I had to, but it was harder to hide from my memories at each look around the lower portion of the house, and smelling the Christmas-sy smells. Cinnamon and pine. Each table, doorway, window, even the damn walls. It was everywhere, and it made me sick.

Christmas Eve night, sometime before ten, I sat lounging on the couch with Emmett. I laid on my side along the couch, him at my feet, occasionally kicking him just for the hell of it as we watched some Christmas movie on TV.

"This movie is stupid." I mumbled, and he looked over.

"It's a classic." He replied incredulously, "How can you think it's stupid?"

"You're a classic." I reminded him, "I'm not."

"So now you're calling me old?"

"Well, the way you said 'classic', you made it seem like a good thing." I smiled a little.

"Nice save." He murmured, narrowing his eyes, "I think I've been a bad influence on you."

"I gotta learn from the best." I shrugged a little, and he grinned. Obviously accepting that compliment.

I paid no attention to Esme descending the stairs quickly, heading into the kitchen for Alice and Rosalie. Excited, as if she just got good news. Carlisle followed slower, coming to stand beside the couch.

Instead of being curious, I raised my foot and kicked Emmett on the shoulder. Apparently having enough, he grabbed my ankle lightly and tugged me closer. I slid along the couch, but I laughed.

He started biting my sock covered toes with a growl. He didn't bite hard, but it tickled, and I couldn't help laughing. Instantly struggling, kicking at his face with my other foot.

"Stop." I giggled, "You're getting my sock all wet and soggy."

He stopped biting my toes, and looked at me, "Well, you're getting my mouth all socky."

"Well, whose fault is that?" I countered, kicking his face again. He huffed, releasing my ankle. I sniffed smugly, adjusting my pajama top's sleeves. I loved this set of pajamas, because they were too big, and very warm. It wasn't that I was cold why I wore them. I just loved how soft they were. Like wearing a blanket.

Carlisle continued to stand there as I rolled away. Sitting at the other end of the couch now as we got back to watching the stupid movie.

It was calm again, and the movie was so boring, I was considering going upstairs to bed. Until the door opened. I bolted even further upright, knowing everyone was already home.

Panic flooded through me in a split second and I all but flew up off the couch with a muted squeak, and streaked straight for the kitchen where I knew Alice and Rosalie sat, probably talking about clothes, and other girl shit.

"What?" Emmett was already laughing.

I was already up to speed, so trying to stop and round the corner, I slid on the smooth floor in my fluffy socks. My feet slid out from under me, causing me to land on my side on the solid wood floor with a grunt. Sliding into a table against the wall outside the kitchen full speed. I sat up mid-slide, trying to stop myself, but I hit the table almost face first. Rattling the glass figures on top of it audibly as my forehead hit the bottom edge, and I laid back heavily.

I thought that only happened in movies.

"Leandra." Emmett was dying of laughter behind me, "Oh God, shorty, I have never seen you move that fast. Come back. It's just Eddy."

"What a greeting." Edward's voice confirmed Emmett's statement. Oddly, I found myself laughing too. How the hell did that happen?

"Ow." I muttered, sitting up and scooting back. I wasn't nearly as amused, though, as Alice was, peering out from the kitchen. She laughed just as much as Emmett did. Esme even wore a small, sympathetic smile as she helped me up. I rubbed my palm against my forehead in an attempt to ease the small ache I had there.

"My, Leandra. I had no idea you were so graceful." Alice grinned, trying to hide her laughter now. Rosalie clearly found it amusing as well, actually smiling from where she sat. Figures she'd only find me hurting myself amusing.

Esme dusted me off a little, and I nodded up at her. Letting her know I was fine. Now I knew what had her so excited, as she hesitantly left my side, and headed straight for Edward.

"Bite me." I grumbled over at Alice, only increasing her amusement and mine along with it. By the time I made it back into the living room, Esme was still hugging Edward.

"I'm fine, if anybody else but the mom cares." I laughed under my breath.

I let it go, though, looking at Edward. He looked like crap. Not doing well at all. He looked worse than I did, and I hadn't slept more than three or four hours a night for the passed few nights. That seemed to have caught his attention.

"And why not?" He asked me, and I paused.

"Huh?" I asked, confused.

"Why haven't you been sleeping?"

"Right." I muttered, "I forgot about your gift for a minute, I guess." He smirked but that was it. It faded immediately, and I knew someone answered him with their thoughts. Obviously getting a full run-down of my issues here. Instead of pressing it, I found my seat beside Emmett. He reached over and lightly poked a finger against the small bump I undoubtedly had on my forehead on.

"Ow." I swatted at him and he chuckled.

"No more running in fuzzy socks." He told me.

"It's not like I planned it." I grumbled back. I looked over as Carlisle decided to take a look at my head, trying to sit still. Emmett chose that time to tickle my side, making me squirm, "Stop. You're messing up my concentration." I tried hard to keep my face straight, but it was funny.

"She's laughing." Emmett pointed out to Carlisle, "She's fine."

"I think you'll be fine." Carlisle agreed with him, and I nodded, "No dizziness?" I shook my head.

"Just a bump." I said, and he nodded.

"Sounded like you hit that table hard." Emmett laughed.

"I'm way tougher than you think I am." I scoffed, "Really."

"Just ask Mikah." He'd obviously overheard the conversation I'd had with Mikah the day they came over, and I immediately glared at him.

"Shush, you." I muttered, and he chuckled.

"I have to agree with him, shorty." He replied, and I looked down. Shaking my head, trying not to think about that. Focusing on Jasper descending the stairs instead.

"Look." I said, though he clearly already knew, "Edward's here."

"I see that." He chuckled, "But thanks."

"You're welcome." I replied proudly.

I watched as they greeted each other as if Jasper hadn't tried to eat Bella, but even I could see some tension between them. I knew Edward enough to know he didn't blame Jasper for what happened, but there certainly was some kind of blame or guilt there.

"Leandra." Edward turned to me, officially greeting me with a small smile, "Just as observant as always, I see."

"Always." I sighed, disappointed.

"Observant, yes." Emmett replied, "But very few points in common sense."

"Hey." I glared at him.

"Miss Let's-Wander-Away-From-The-Safety-Of-Home-And-My-Family-Just-To-See-If-Someone-Will-Take-Off-With-Me." He whipped back.

"That was months ago." I snapped, "I haven't done that since, Mister Let's-Tattle-And-Hope-Edward-Will-Sort-Her-Out-For-Me."

He got a really good laugh out of that one. I was proud of that comeback, and I even got the last word.

"That's enough bickering, you two." Esme put a stop to that, but it was still funny.

Alice greeted Edward next, obviously having missed him quite a bit. It was almost strange to see him after so long. It seemed like forever ago that I last saw him, and it almost hurt to think back to that time. How much had changed in just a few months? It had been so hard, but I knew it probably would have been easier had he been here to explain the way my mind was working. They probably would have understood a lot faster than they did.

He looked to me, and I looked down.

"Sorry." I mumbled, knowing he heard everything.

"Don't be." He replied, "You're probably right, but I also have plenty of confidence in Carlisle. I knew he'd find a way to get through to you."

"It just took awhile." I admitted. Emmett reached over and patted my head lightly.

"Isn't passed your bedtime, shorty?" Emmett asked, and I winced.

"You just had to say something." I grumbled at him.

Esme spoke up, looking to me, "I do think it's about that time. Time for bed."

I sighed, but shrugged.

"I'll just be up again in thirty minutes." I was tired, though. I didn't see the harm in trying. As much as the chores were helping, my memory nightmares had started up again the other night.

She followed me up the stairs. She'd made it a habit lately to be there while I fell asleep. Somehow that helped a little. If she didn't stay while I fell asleep, I got even less sleep.

Kneeling up on my bed, I kicked off my socks, and pulled my hair loose from the band I had in. I wasn't looking forward to sleeping, as tired as I was, and I knew she knew that.

"Can I just sleep through tomorrow?" I had to ask, letting her know for the first time how much I didn't look forward to it. Just the thought caused me pain, so I was sure they knew something wasn't right.

"Why?" She asked, and I looked down. I hesitated, before deciding to change the subject.

"How long is Edward staying?" I asked curiously. She sighed, smiling sadly.

"We don't know." She told me quietly.

"I hope for awhile." I admitted, "He doesn't look like he should be alone. He shouldn't be alone."

"I know." She replied, gently stroking my hair. Giving me another sad smile, she sighed, "Lay down, honey. Get some rest." I nodded, crawling under the blanket and laying down with a sigh.

"Can you leave the light on when you leave?" I had to ask. I hadn't needed to ask that in a few weeks.

"Of course." She replied as she brought the blanket up more securely around me, and I forced a smile.

"Thanks." I murmured, yawning.

As with every other night recently, I kept my eyes open as long as I could while Esme sat with me, but somehow, trying to force myself to stay awake while laying down comfortably, it became harder to keep my eyes open.

Eventually, I closed my eyes to rest them, and fell asleep.

Somewhere during the night, while I was sleeping, I was aware of a quiet conversation around me. Like a dream, but somewhere a few steps before consciousness. It was better than my normal dreams, though, so I didn't fight it.

"You're really in your element, Esme." I vaguely recognized Edward's voice, "It can't be easy."

"She just seems so unhappy sometimes." Esme's voice was closer, but still a quiet murmur, "She seems so lost, and I don't know how to help her."

"You must be doing something right." Edward's quiet reply, "She absolutely adores you. She adores everyone, but you most. Carlisle, a close second."

"I worry about how much harder it's going to be on her as she grows up." Esme admitted sadly, and vaguely, I felt her smooth my hair back from my forehead with her fingertips, "If only she could stay this small."

"That isn't how it works." I could hear the smile in Edward's soft reply.

"Just for a little while." She said, "She deserves some extra time to be a child."

"She's had so much stolen from her." Edward agreed, "So much taken, and she doesn't even realize it yet, but she will."

"Nothing makes me happier than seeing her happy." She added, "But it happens so few times, that real laugh."

"I know." He replied, "But I don't think you even fully understand yet how much she's changed you. What you signed on for the day you agreed to keep her. The day you allowed yourself to get so attached, Esme, was the day everything changed for you. She'll always be a part of you now. Her happiness is your happiness, but it's the same for her."

"Really?" Esme asked, and again, I heard the smile.

"I've seen it." He replied, "Carlisle and you are so worried about her unhappiness, but sometimes, it's not as difficult as it seems. She _wants_ to do good. She tries _so_ hard just for your approval, and it hurts her so much to know she's done wrong or made you unhappy. That has never changed."

"She hurts so often." She pointed out. That made me think of one memory in particular. One that had been on my mind a lot lately.

"Her wounds are still fresh, Esme." Edward murmured, seeing that thought no doubt, "She is going to hurt for a long time. There's no medication or bandage that can cover that. The things he's done to her and taken from her aren't that easy to fix."

I felt another smooth of my hair from my forehead, and that comforted me. I couldn't stop the quick, shallow sigh. Indicating I was somewhat awake now. I didn't hear anything else after that, so I must have fallen back to sleep.

Unfortunately, being allowed to sleep now, I dreamed.

Just for once, I wanted the dreams normal kids had. I wanted to dream about stupid stuff. Stuff I did the day before, or stuff I wanted. I wanted to dream about nothing, just for a break from what I always saw as I slept. I just wanted a break from the pain.

Waking with tears in my eyes and dampening my pillow, I hated this memory. I hated it so much, and just downstairs, there was so much to remind me of it. Just downstairs were all the decorations, like celebrating this horrible memory. This horrible day.

It was just after dawn that I sat up, and I noticed that more clouds had moved in overnight. Snow fell outside, but that didn't help me today. My stomach hurt, but not enough to use an excuse to stay in bed all day.

I crossed the room quickly, locking the bedroom door before returning to my bed. I knew that'd alert them to the fact that I was awake now, but I knew they'd come knocking when I didn't come downstairs.

I expected the knock at the door. Laying back down, I curled around a pillow with my back to the door, trying to focus on the snow falling outside.

Whoever was on the other side of the door, probably Alice, wasn't buying it. Knocking again.

"Leandra?" Just as I thought, it was Alice.

"Please, just leave me alone, Alice." I mumbled into my pillow, gripping it tighter.

She called back, "Come on. Come out. I promise it won't be that bad."

"It's already bad." I countered, "Just leave me alone. I budged on my birthday, but I'm not budging today, so go away."

"Come on, shorty." Emmett was at my bedroom door with her, "It's Christmas. At least make an appearance."

"I'm not stupid. I know what day it is." I sighed, "And I'm not stupid. I know the second I leave this room, you won't let me hide again."

"Why are you hiding, honey?" Esme asked. She was there too. I sighed heavily. They wouldn't understand. I squeezed my eyes shut, turning my face into the pillow I curled around.

"Try again tomorrow." I suggested.

I hated Christmas with a passion. I hated the sight of it, the mention of it, even the idea of it. Everything about it bothered me on a very deep level, and every year, it was like this. Vaguely, I noticed how I hadn't even known my family for a year, since they'd never seen me quite like this. They didn't know I hated this holiday yet.

"Leandra-"

"Go away." I sighed, "I'm not coming out until tomorrow when all this stupid Christmas shit is gone."

"Even to eat?" Emmett asked, and I sighed.

"Even to eat." I mumbled, "I just want to be left alone. Please."

I knew they were confused, but they'd learn. I really wasn't up to trying to be cheerful today. Not today of all days. This was just one of my things. I couldn't do it. I couldn't act like nothing was wrong.

I felt it in my stomach, the way memories like this always made me feel. Not just sad, but something else. Depression, maybe? I didn't know, but it made it hard to breathe around the emotion stuck in my throat.

Another, quieter knock at the door had me closing my eyes again.

"Leandra." It was Carlisle, "Come on out."

"No." I replied instantly.

"You can't spend today alone." He spoke again, "It won't be that bad."

"It's already that bad." I countered again, "Just leave me alone." I just wanted to stay bitter. What was so wrong with that?

"Stop it, Jasper." I barked, knowing he was trying. Instantly, his efforts faded. Since our last major argument, he made the effort to respect my wishes.

Edward couldn't help reading my thoughts, but Jasper could choose whether or not to manipulate my emotions. If I told him not to, he wouldn't. Unless I was really upset. Edward knew, and had known for quite some time, why I hated this holiday.

Aside from the extreme cases, during one of my infamous melt-downs. I wasn't pissed off right now. I wasn't angry, or hitting people, so he left my emotions alone.

"Leandra, open the door." Carlisle yet again, "You don't have to come out, but at least let me in."

"It's a trick." I shook my head, "As soon as I open the door, Alice is going to pull me out."

"No, she won't." He replied, "She's not out here." I hesitated. I knew he wouldn't lie to me, "Let me in, Leandra. Please."

I sighed, and climbed off the bed. Crossing the room, I hesitated for just a moment longer, before I unlocked the door. Twisting the knob, I cautiously peeked out. Sure enough, it was only he and Esme standing there.

I stepped away from the door, letting them in.

Still in my pajamas, I felt a little under dressed. They were already well dressed, I noticed as they came in. I knew they could tell I'd been crying, but I didn't let myself focus on that as I slammed the door again. Locking it quickly. I didn't want to hear any Christmas music, or see any lights. Behind my door, I had no hint of anything out of the ordinary. In here, it was safe.

"Why won't you come out?" Carlisle asked, and I sniffled, turning. Heading back to the bed, I crawled onto it, laying back down as I curled a pillow to myself yet again.

"I hate Christmas." I mumbled in response.

"Why?" He asked, "Leandra, you don't need to hate it-"

"Yes I do." I countered, my voice softening, "You don't even know." I paused, ignoring the tears that stung my eyes yet again, "I can hate stuff if I want to."

"You're right." Carlisle said, and I felt the bed dip beside me. Meaning he sat down, "You're allowed, but all we're looking for is an explanation."

"I shouldn't have to." I mumbled now. I knew I was pouting, but this was warranted. I had every right to feel the way I felt, and I had a very good reason. I had reason to hurt this much.

"What's bothering you, darling?" Esme sat beside me, on the side of the bed I faced, and I closed my eyes. Sighing a sob, I kept my eyes closed. I had to try answering her.

"I hate it." I cried quietly, "I wish you wouldn't try to make me not hate it." Opening my crying eyes, I didn't look at either of them. Watching my hand clenching and unclenching in the pillow. I just wanted to stay curled into a ball. Why couldn't I stay in my ball?

"We just want to understand." Carlisle spoke up again, "That's all."

"Can't Edward just tell you?"

"He won't." Carlisle replied, "If it's personal, which I'm assuming it is, he wouldn't tell anyone without a very good reason." That was both relieving, and irritating. That meant I had to somehow tell them. At least something.

I sighed, and I sat up. Reaching up, trying to subtly wipe away my tears. Fixing the sleeves of my pajama top, I sniffled again as Esme gently cleared my hair from my face. Concerned as she and Carlisle both watched me attempt to calm down.

I bit my lip, thinking about how to explain it right.

"When I was little," I finally mumbled, "I don't think I've ever really believed in Santa or all that stupid stuff. Unless I did when I was really little, and I just don't remember it, but that doesn't matter. It's never mattered." They both listened quietly, "Growing up, I've never really looked forward to today. I mean, I didn't care either way. Because I knew it was just another day. I had no reason to hate it before."

My voice quieted, and I watched my hands resting on the pillow in my lap.

"I never understood it." I murmured, "Jack never got anything for me, and my mom was worthless when it came to stuff like that. Really anything that made her have to get off the couch, or out of bed, she was worthless at."

I paused for a breath, "I remembered being very confused, because everyone at school always looked forward to it. All my classmates were so excited, and even with the stuff they made us read and color at school, I never really understood why. I never got what the big hype was about. It was just one of those things, I guess." I gave a sad shrug, and shook my head a little, "But even then, I still didn't hate it yet."

That wasn't the sad part, but given Esme's quiet sigh of sadness told me she didn't approve.

"I've heard about how everyone's supposed to be happy about Christmas, but I never really was." I kept my eyes down, "One year, though, four years ago now, I guess. I got something from Jack."

They stayed quiet, so I knew I had to explain. They didn't quite understand yet. Maybe if I explained this, they'd know what I was talking about when I told them he wasn't just a mean person. He was evil, going out of his way to hurt people. Mainly me.

"He decorated for Christmas that year. And I was so confused, but I didn't really ask. You know, the tree and everything. It wasn't much, but it was more than nothing, like every other year. I'd known him for three years by then, so it worried me a little. I'd learned by then to pay attention to anything he did that was so different from what he usually did."

At Esme's nod, I took a deep breath, and I continued.

"He told me that I was old enough to finally get the gift he was going to give me. He didn't tell me what it was, but I just knew I was going to hate it." I didn't know how to say it, but I knew I had to. I'd admitted this much.

"Christmas Eve night was the very first time he came into my room, and the first time he ever hurt me the way he does."

Understanding came to Esme's eyes, and I looked back down. I didn't want to see that understanding turn to pity, so I kept my gaze down. Staring at my hands in my lap, nervously smoothing over my knee. They were both silent on either side of me, probably not knowing what to say.

"I don't even have to dream to remember exactly what that was like. I don't think it'll ever go away." I was surprised they could hear me. My voice had gotten so quiet. My cheeks felt too warm, and I knew I was blushing. Shamefully embarrassed, and though I knew I shouldn't be, I was.

"I-I didn't even know what it.. What he was doing at first." I admitted, "I mean, I knew what.. That was. I'd seen it before, but I didn't know what he was doing. All I knew was that it scared me, and that it hurt. A lot. I was so stupid. I thought I was going to die, but.. I didn't." Obviously, "I lived, but every night after that, he'd show up and do the same thing. I got used to it after awhile, but no matter what, I always cried. I guess I just haven't stopped crying yet."

I couldn't look up if I wanted to.

"Since then," I continued after another minute of silence, "I've hated the day, because I still remember." I sniffled a little, "I still remember how scared I was, and how much it hurt. Nothing will fix that. No matter how hard you try. Every year, it's the same. Every year, he just makes it worse. My birthday was one thing. This is something different. There's nothing you can say, nothing you or anybody can do to make this day mean anything else than what it does to me."

It was silent now. I didn't know what else to say. I could only hope, though, that they let me stay here. I really didn't want to face anybody today. I just wanted to be alone.

The door opened then, though, as if it were never even locked, and I jumped, looking over at Alice as she walked in.

"Yup." She took my hand and pulled me over.

"Alice." Carlisle was trying to correct her as she hoisted me off the bed and over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Alice usually wasn't the one to do that, so I was too surprised to react yet. Until I did.

"Put me down!" I demanded, and she ignored me.

"She challenged me." Was all Alice said over my loud cursing. I really didn't want this. I wanted to just hide away.

One day a fucking year, and she couldn't let me do that?

"Such language." She sighed in response when I shouted that to her.

"Put me down, dammit!" I shouted breathlessly over her shoulder. Up the hall, and down both sets of stairs, she flipped me over and dropped me, letting me land upright on the couch with a light bounce. Outside the window behind where she stood looking at me, the snow still fell in a steady curtain, blanketing the yard in a fresh layer of snow.

"You're not allowed to be sad about that anymore." She told me, and I gave her an incredulous look. I wasn't allowed?

"It's not that easy-"

"Yes it is." She said, "This is a good day, so be happy."

"How's it a good day?" I asked, "No day is just automatically a good one."

"Then by that thinking, no day is just automatically a bad one." She countered, and I hesitated. She had a point there. I didn't know what to say to that.

Edward smirked a little over at her, and I sat back. Drawing my legs up, crossing my arms over my chest. My cheeks still felt warm, and I still felt the embarrassment. The shame I felt while explaining everything.

"It's how you look at things now that matters, Leandra." She said, "Not what happened before." I looked up at her briefly, "Make some new memories." She balanced a small wrapped gift on my head, and I left it there.

As I sat there, I considered what she was telling me. Closing my eyes, I shook my head, looking down. It really wasn't that easy. She didn't know what she was talking about. I was even more embarrassed now, knowing everybody had heard that confession. Sometimes it really bugged me just how much they could hear.

"Listen to me." She said, sitting beside me, and the tone of her voice had me look up as she took the wrapped gift off of my head lightly, "I don't care what whoever told you whenever. I don't care what Jack told you, and you shouldn't either." I looked down until she caught my chin, preventing me from doing that.

"And stop looking down so much. There's nothing on the floor that'll make you feel any better." I sighed, looking down at the couch instead.

"Leandra, all that matters is now." She continued, "That's the only thing that really matters. Don't let whatever he told you last year, or five years ago define who you are right this second, or whatever you have ahead of you."

"You don't know." I argued quietly, shaking my head, "It's not something I can just control."

"You're strong, Leandra." She told me, "I know you don't believe me, but you are. You're strong, you're brave, and you've been given too much to bear, yet you're still here. Do you know what they call that?"

"Stupidity?" I asked, and she allowed a sad smirk.

"No." She said, "They call that resilience. That's something that not everybody has. Most would have given up a long time ago, but you didn't."

"I tried to." I mumbled, "But you wouldn't let me."

"No, I wouldn't." She agreed with me, "And I had a good reason."

"It would have been easier on me to just let me give up, you know." I admitted, tracing the edge of the couch cushion with my finger, "I'm tired."

Instead of commenting on that, she asked something else.

"Do you know what I see when I look at you?"

I waited.

"When I look at you," She answered, "I see someone that can take anything on, and overcome it. I see someone courageous, and I see beauty. Someone not afraid to do what needs to be done."

Right.

"Do you know what you see when you look at yourself?" She asked quietly, and I wondered how much time she'd give me to answer her question honestly. Where to start?

But she answered for me again.

"You see him." She murmured, "You see exactly what he wants you to see, and that is not your fault, but that's why we're here. That's our job. It's our job to correct that. You see everything wrong, everything as something bad. You're so blinded by everything he told you, you can't see the good things. You can't see the good things in you that we see every day. We have to change that."

She wasn't wrong. I didn't see anything in myself that she saw.

"Do you know what the first step is?" She asked, and I waited once more, "The first step, is helping you realize that you aren't alone anymore. Look around. What do you see?" Slowly, I did as she said. Glancing around the full room.

"All these people care about you, Leandra." She continued, "You have a family nobody else in the world has." She smiled, "That has to count for something." I couldn't help smiling a little myself, "You have a family that only wants to see you happy and safe, and would do anything to see that happen. You can fight, and argue with us all you want, but that's not going to change.

"All we're asking is to trust us. Trust me when I tell you that your past does _not_ define you. What you choose to do with it does. Who you choose to be does. Every one of us, everyone around you is an example of that. We all have our past, Leandra, but do you think you'd be sitting here with us right now had we given up?" I couldn't imagine any of my family not being here. She smiled a little, "Live your life for you. Not for him."

"I can't just forget everything." I finally spoke, "I've tried."

"I'm not saying forget everything." She replied, shaking her head, "Believe me, I understand just how impossible that is. All I'm saying, is don't let him steal your life. Don't let your past steal your future." I sighed, looking down, so she continued, "Leandra, I know. It's hard. It's so hard, and it can cause so much pain to think about where you used to be, but you're here now. You're _here_. Not there." She handed me the wrapped gift again, "And here, you never have to worry about that ever again."

Giving another glance around, not one person disagreed with her, so why should I?

Needless to say, she got through to me during that talk. I agreed, through slight tears, that she was right. I was focusing too much on the past, but I was scared.

What kind of future did someone like me have when I was raised by pure evil? And how on Earth did they see all that in me? What was I worth? I was just some kid that barged into their lives, and lucked out. For once.

"You're priceless." Alice answered my confusion, "There's no possible way to even begin to describe your worth, Leandra."

That surprised me. She obviously believed what she told me. I knew that for sure, but it was still hard to believe. Did she even realize what she was saying?

"Because of my gift?" I asked, still confused, "I can't even use it."

"I'm not even considering your gift into this." She said, "Your worth comes from you. Not your gift, and most certainly not your past."

That was the moment I started to believe her. The moment I actually wanted to see what she saw. For the first time, instead of being resigned to being worthless, I started thinking about the possibilities. I didn't have to be that way. I could try. It would take work, of course, but what did I have to lose? I could only build up.

Sure, Jack had raised me that far, but now, I had plenty of others to look up to.

Eventually, I nodded. Smiling a little as I sighed.

The rest of the day went smoothly from there. I still had my problems with the day, but I did my best to hide it. The snow eventually stopped, but it left a silence behind I couldn't help admiring out in the backyard.

I'd slipped away that evening, to just breathe for a moment. Kneeling on the porch, sitting on my heels, I just listened. To nothing. I couldn't even hear the traffic anymore. I wasn't going any further than the porch, though. I knew better.

"Where are you?" I whispered under my breath, staring off in the direction of town, "What's your next move?" The dim evening around me never answered back.

Jack knew right where I was, and I knew he had to be itching for another scare. He was out there somewhere, biding his time until he could get to me again.

Again, for the second time that day, I had to wonder. Was I really worth it? Was I really worth the trouble to Jack? Was I worth it, to chase and hunt? That was definitely a new way to think about it.

He sure was going to a lot of trouble for someone he always told was worthless.

"And there's your answer." I jumped a little as Edward broke the silence, glancing over as he rounded the side of the house. He must have slipped away too, or got curious as he noticed I wasn't inside anymore. I smiled a little.

"I'm not smoking this time." I told him quietly, and he allowed a smirk, "It's just cold out here." He seemed so tired. Exhausted. I didn't know how that was possible in a vampire, but I could tell. Like he'd lost the one reason he had to exist.

"I know you aren't." He replied, coming to stand beside where I kneeled, "I hear it's been a very eventful few months for you."

"Too eventful." I sighed, looking back out over the yard and toward the park below, "I miss home so much. It feels too open here."

"I know how you feel." He sighed in reply. A slight breeze blew, pulling with it a few strands of my long hair into my face.

"And I can't help expecting something to happen." I admitted, "Since I found out Jack's around, it's like I'm just waiting. Trying to figure out what, and when his next move is going to be. Since we've been here, I've known something is going to happen. I just don't know what."

It got quiet for a few seconds. Letting my thoughts wander, and for once, not worried about him overhearing. He'd already proven that he wouldn't tell anyone anything, so it didn't bother me as much anymore. I knew he saw, again, what that night was like for me. How terrified I was. How stupid I felt now, thinking back.

"You're wrong, you know." He said, and I looked up, "You aren't too much trouble for them. You're just enough trouble to keep things interesting." The way he said it made it seem like a good thing. I had to smile at that. To my surprise, the smile lingered for a moment, until it faded, "And you're right. I did see. Leandra, I can't express my sorrow."

"What do you mean?" I asked, looking up at him.

"That moment when everything was taken." He clarified, "I saw how that single moment changed you. That one night.." He trailed off as he closed his eyes, shaking his head in sadness, "That's a memory no child should ever have. No person, for that matter. Nobody should ever have to go through that."

"I'm more than just some child." I sighed, very slightly irritated, "That's not all I am."

"You're right." He said, "I apologize."

"It did change me." I admitted, "I just.. I was so scared. I never even thought anything like that was possible. I was pretty stupid back then."

"No, you weren't stupid." He told me, "You were as unaware as you should have been at six years old."

"I don't think I'd be the same person, though, if that had never happened. Things like that, they change somebody. I know things would have been much different if that never happened. If it hadn't happened, it would have changed things just as much as it did when it did happen." I paused, "That sounded so confusing."

"I understand what you mean." He assured me.

"Who knows if I'd even be here now?" I mused quietly, "I hate it. I've always hated him for it, but.. There's still that one thought, you know? Would I have ever met you if I had never been changed that much?" My tone grew sad now, "Would I have even bothered talking to you at all? Would you have even known anything was off, if I wasn't so afraid?"

"That is initially what captured my attention." He allowed.

"I mean, yeah. I still had to be afraid of the beatings, but that didn't scare me as much as.. The other thing did." I replied, "Normally, I have to piss him off pretty bad for that to happen any other time than at night."

He hesitated, a frown on his face.

"You still refer to him in the present tense?" He asked, confused.

I shrugged, "It's only a matter of time before he gets me back again. Might as well stay used to it."

"Do you really believe that?"

"Yes." I mumbled, "Nobody's listening when I tell them he's not stupid. He'll do whatever it takes to get me back, and if they won't listen, it's only a matter of time. I just won't be around to tell them that I told them so, because once he gets me back, I'll probably never see you guys again."

He stayed quiet, listening to my thoughts. He had to see how I believed every word I told him. He had to see it.

"Perhaps you're the one underestimating, Leandra." He told me, and I looked up, "You're underestimating just how much you mean to everyone. The lengths they're willing to go to keep you safe."

"Maybe." I sighed, choosing not to argue with him, "I didn't see him that day. The day he showed up at Mikah's store. I didn't look at him, but I'd know that voice anywhere. He likes to scare me. He wants to remind me that he knows where I am. As if I could ever forget that. This is all a game. A game I'm _so_ tired of playing."

I looked up at him, "You've seen everything. What would you do?"

"I can't say what I would do." He replied quietly, "I only know what you should do, and that's trust Carlisle. Trust the family, Leandra. Isn't there a small chance, just one tiny chance, that these dreams you can't remember are all a result of overworrying?"

"I don't think so." I replied quietly, "I know how they make me feel."

"They make you feel that way, because you can't remember what's in them." He pointed out. I fell quiet this time, "Trust Carlisle. He's made it this far, kept all of us going this long, because he knows what he's doing. If he says he's going to keep you safe, he's going to keep you safe."

I took a deep breath. He was right. He knew Carlisle the longest.

"And trust me when I say that there is no one on the face of the planet that cares for you more than Esme does." I smiled at that, "You can't even imagine, Leandra, how strong her ability to love is. With that love, comes an unending compulsion to protect what she loves. You can rest assured that you are loved, and she will protect you. Now, pair that with Emmett's protective side, you'll just begin to understand how unbelievably shielded you really are."

I smiled a little more, remembering the situation with Sammy. How quickly that kid almost lost his life and all his teeth in one brief second. Just for saying something he shouldn't have. What would have happened had he actually tried anything?

"That's just a hint." He pointed out, "You honestly can't imagine, Leandra." I took another deep breath, nodding a little. I had one more question, however.

I sighed, "I know I'd be a different person if that hadn't happened, but would I still have to fight the dark?"

I knew he knew I didn't just mean being afraid of the dark. He knew I was referring to how dark of a person I was. How there was a whole separate part of me I feared. The one that hated so intensely, and got so angry.

"I understand that part of you more than you think, Leandra." He admitted gently, "And I can't answer that for you. That's something you need to work on yourself first."

"I know." I murmured, "I just can't help wondering."

"That part of you is always going to be there." He said, "I could go on and on about it, truthfully, but once it's been created, there's very little you can do. It's just a matter of creating a balance. Learning what not to do to keep that balance from shifting in the wrong direction."

I must have been doing something right, because I hadn't yelled at anyone lately.

He gave a small nod. Allowing that.

It was nice, I realized. Being able to talk to someone who could understand what I couldn't say. Instead of keeping something in, just because I didn't want to have to go through the process of explaining my reasoning, or what I meant. He already knew it, just by glancing through my thoughts.

"I'm glad I could help someone, at least." He sighed, and I looked back up at him. There was that torture again. I knew his torture was from something completely different, but seeing it printed so clearly in his posture and in his features, it reminded me of how I felt a lot of the time. I just didn't know how to express it.

"They know." He assured me, "They know how badly you're hurting. They just don't know how to express it, either."

"I wish they wouldn't worry so much." I admitted, "I cause too much trouble as it is."

"You're just enough trouble to keep things interesting." He repeated, and he went quiet. I did, too. Returning my gaze out to the darkening yard, and down the hill, across the silent and still park. It was nice to see no movement for once.

Looking back over, he was gone. Probably sensing I was finished talking, he went back inside. I couldn't blame him. It was cold and boring out here, and he probably wanted to spend more time with the family before he ran off to be alone again.

I thought my gratitude his direction, hoping he heard it. For listening, and letting me just talk without telling me I was wrong for thinking the way I did. I couldn't help, though, my thoughts returning to what I was thinking about before Edward showed up out here with me.

"Where are you?" I whispered again into the silent, frozen air, "What next?"

I could feel it. He wasn't done.

**A/N: Yummy filler! I'm actually learning to like these filler chapters. It gives a very awesome look into what else happens when things happen. Woo!  
THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! To that AMAZINGLY AWESOME reviewer! YAY!  
Chapter Twelve will, once again, have a warning at the top. This kid's past isn't a pretty one.  
Until Twelve, my friends! :D**


	12. Chapter 12

**ImPORTANT NOTE: VERY unpleasant mentions in this chapter. If you're sensitive to hints/slight descriptions of abuse, then I'd proceed with caution. As a reminder, this fic is rated 'M'. It isn't graphic, but it's not pretty either. **

**Chapter Twelve**

It definitely had everything to do with the discussion earlier, but my dreams that night were ones that hurt so much to remember. Things I thought I'd forgotten. Not all of them were scary things, but all of them were painful things.

Then came the bit I couldn't remember.

I didn't wake myself with the memory dreams, but I did wake myself up by fighting out of the dark, unmemorable dream. Kicking, the blanket leaving me with the force of it. Fighting things I couldn't see, and things that didn't exist. My heart pounding, breathing racing too quickly for my taste.

I was seated up now, looking around myself. The panic angering me this time.

"No!" I hadn't shouted that loud in a long time. Emotion breaking my voice, "No! _Dammit_!"

My door opened at the same time I started to cry. Loudly. Laying back forcefully, trembling in the cold sweat that covered me as I covered my face with my hands. Pressing the heels of my palms hard into my eyes as I rolled to my side.

I couldn't stand this anymore. I couldn't stand not knowing, not being able to see what was scaring me so bad. I'd had one too many of those dreams that I couldn't remember, and I was _so_ tired of it.

"Leandra." Esme was suddenly beside me, "What was it?"

I just continued to cry, completely ignoring her this time.

"Make it stop!" I begged to anyone, "Please make it stop! I can't take it anymore.." I was out of breath at that point, sobbing much too hard to breathe. The pain was unreal, splitting me in a way it hadn't in quite awhile.

I felt Esme's attempts to roll me back over, to face her, but I flinched from her hands as if she'd burned me. Curling into a ball instead.

"I can't.." I sobbed every bit of breath out.

Whatever was in that darkness was worse than I thought before, but I still didn't know what it was. _This_ was how I knew it was more than over-worrying. This was how I knew I wasn't making this up. The pain and fear, mixed with my physical reactions now told me something was going to happen.

"Leandra." Esme tried again, but I stayed curled. I couldn't handle this, whatever this was. Each time she tried to gently take my arm, I only cried harder. My entire body locked up, panic ensuring that.

"Jasper." Carlisle's tone wasn't as calm as I was used to. It took a minute, but my heart did start to slow down.

"That doesn't fix this!" I shouted again, and I couldn't understand the sudden anger. That had literally come out of nowhere, not having felt angry before.

One more try from Esme to turn me over and this time, I fought away. Scrambling off the other side of the bed, just to land on the floor beside it and curl into an upright ball this time. My arms hugging my knees and hiding my face at the same time.

Jasper sure upped his efforts, as after only a few seconds more, my cries had calmed drastically. I sat there, my eyes still hidden as I practically gasped for breath after that.

"Whoa." Emmett's voice in the silence that followed was surprised.

Esme moved. Off the bed to kneel in front of me. Her attempts to pull my arms away were far more successful this time, but I hugged her instead. Easily returning the embrace. I just continued to cry. Quietly now, but my tears kept coming.

"I'm sorry." I mumbled through tears. It was true. Despite the way I couldn't control my reactions, I felt bad for them.

"No, honey." She told me, "It's okay."

"What was it, Leandra?" Alice asked me, and I shook my head. I had no idea. Not to mention the fact that I needed to concentrate on slowing my trembles. The fear was gone, thanks to Jasper, but my reactions had stayed. That wasn't as easy to stop.

"She doesn't remember." Thankfully, Edward was still here, and he explained for me.

My head pounded painfully, and I wasn't sure if that was from the dream I couldn't remember, or from the emotions caused by it.

"I can't handle it anymore." I cried instead, shaking my head, "No more.."

"Your gift can't be stopped, Leandra." Alice told me, but that didn't help me. She came over, "I know it can be frustrating at times. Believe me." She kneeled beside where Esme sat holding me in her arms. As mixed up as I was, I wasn't leaving those arms for anything. Thankfully, though, Alice didn't try to make me.

"This is more than that." I shook my head, looking over at her, "I can't handle it."

"You wouldn't have it if you weren't meant to have it." She replied gently, but that just irritated me, and my cries reflected that, "Nobody can do anything to get rid of that. You can't just get rid of your ability. It's impossible. Trust me. The only thing you can do is learn to live with it, because it's not going anywhere. It'll only get stronger, and I know that's not what you want to hear, but it's the truth. So you need to learn how to handle it."

"I've tried." I replied, "I've tried. It doesn't work, Alice. Make it stop. Please make it stop. I don't want it anymore."

"Leandra, I can't." She replied, "I would if I could. I would do that for you in a heartbeat, but I can't. Whatever you're trying to see-"

"I'm not trying to see anything!" I was getting desperate, "It just won't stop!"

"Whatever your mind is trying to see isn't working." She went on anyway, "Just accept that."

"Why won't it work?"

"Maybe it's not decided yet." She suggested, "Maybe it's not certain yet. Maybe something needs to change first for that to happen, or maybe you're not ready to see it yet."

"I can't do it anymore." I sobbed quietly, "I don't want to see it. I don't want to. I can't see it, and I don't want to, but it just keeps trying."

I couldn't deny, though. Something about that statement sounded familiar to me. I fell quiet, still trying to catch my breath but thinking. At about that time, Jasper eased whatever emotion I was still feeling, and I had to hand it to him. His ability was pretty impressive. Impressive, but irritating.

"I won't lie, Leandra." Alice spoke again, and I looked to her, "Whatever you're trying to see that warrants a reaction like that does worry me."

"That's what I've been saying." I whimpered, "It's more than over-worrying, like Edward said. I know it's more than that."

She looked down in thought for a moment, probably thinking.

"It's like.." I paused, "Sometimes it's like trying to walk through a brick wall. Other times, it's like running into it. Constantly running into it, as hard as I can. Some things come to me, but everything else just.. Hides behind it." I closed my eyes, shaking my head. I still felt the need to cry, but not having the emotion to was confusing me.

"So start talking." She suggested, and I looked up again, "We're still facing this problem, Leandra. There's still too much in your mind, so start talking."

I looked away, hesitating.

"Don't think about it." She urged, "Just start talking. Like you did that day."

"I-I.." I didn't want to do that. I was back to blocking myself, but I couldn't help that. I'd already been given enough time to think about it. I shook my head a little, and she sighed.

"You were doing so well with that." She murmured sadly. I looked down.

I didn't have an explanation for that. One step forward, three steps back. I'd already let them know too much. I had to be careful.

"What goes on in that head of yours?" She asked, and though I glanced back up, I didn't look at her for long. Instead, I just focused on Esme again. Hugging her more firmly. Esme didn't seem to mind that, but Alice sighed again and stood up.

She wasn't going to press me about it, which I was grateful for, but I knew she'd want an answer soon.

My doorway became less crowded. Emmett and Edward both left, but everyone else stayed for a few minutes until they were sure they weren't needed anymore. I rested my eyes while holding onto Esme, but I refused to let myself fall back to sleep.

Despite Esme's insistence to try to sleep, and despite how indescribably tired I was, I made my way downstairs. The decorations all still in place were things I had to force myself to ignore, but that was hard to do when I needed to focus on something else to keep my thoughts from wandering. I really didn't feel like torturing Edward more than I could help.

I thought about anything else. Anything I could besides what wanted to scroll through my mind. The pattern of the carpet, the arrangement of books on the bookshelf. The position of the TV remote sitting on the coffee table. The pattern of wood in the coffee table itself. The way the light in the corner glinted off the glass of it. The couch pillow arrangement.

Anything. Anything but his voice. His words, his eyes, and the way I wanted to throw up. Anything but the way I felt. The choking desperation of whatever dream I'd had, or the panic numbing my limbs, all despite Jasper's help. I was a walking time-bomb, and I knew that. I did know that. If Jasper let me go any time soon, I wouldn't last long.

I glanced to Jasper as he followed Esme and I. Unable to keep his distance, because he knew as well. He knew how much I needed him just to remain in one piece. With his help, I could function again.

"What is it?" Esme asked me, and I glanced up at her. Instead of making me sit in the living room with all the Christmas crap, she followed me into the kitchen. Where Carlisle stood talking with Edward. Gaining their attention as well.

"I don't want to." I mumbled, and she seemed confused, "That was part of it."

"Of..?"

"The dream I can't remember." I answered, sitting down in my usual place at the table, "I think I said that."

"You remember it?" She asked, sitting beside me.

"Just that." I shook my head, "Nothing else. I don't know what I don't want to do. I keep trying, but even what I remember is hard to think about. It hurts a lot." I pressed my palm against the top of my head, as that was where it hurt the most.

"Don't try." She murmured, and I sighed.

"But it's my only clue." I argued quietly, "It's the only thing I have to go on. Something like that, I need to try to see. No matter how much it hurts, because whatever happens hurts so much more."

"Don't push yourself too much, Leandra." Edward told me, and I looked over at him, "If you're not meant to see it yet, don't keep trying. Your physical limitations are in place for a reason. If you try to push those limitations, who knows what might happen?"

"I never thought of that." Carlisle admitted quietly, more than worry in his tone. I hadn't either, but that was nothing new.

"It's better than waiting for whatever's going to happen to happen." I mumbled, "And a lot better than thinking about other things."

"How many times do I have to tell you that you don't have to try to protect your thoughts from me?" Edward asked.

"It's not for you." I replied, "I don't like seeing those things either. I don't like seeing those memories either. Do you know how hard it is remember that?"

"I do." He answered, "I see what it's doing to you. All of us do, but when you refuse to talk about them, you keep them going." I looked down.

"I've said enough." I sighed, "Too much."

"And it's back to that." Jasper sighed as well.

"Nobody said this would be easy." Edward reminded me.

"It's sure as hell easy for him." I muttered, meaning Jack, "He's probably having a grand time, wherever he is, while I'm stuck suffering. He doesn't lose sleep. He isn't tortured. He's not constantly reliving everything, but I am. How fair is that?"

"Oh, I wouldn't doubt that he's reliving everything, but he's the type to enjoy what he sees." Edward replied quietly, "He's fueling himself with those thoughts, keeping himself going as he obsesses over you. Only adding more fuel to the fire, so to speak."

"Awesome." I grumbled, leaning forward. He didn't know how right he was. What he'd gathered from my memories of Jack was spot on.

"He's going to get desperate soon." He added, "And that's when he'll make his mistake, no doubt."

"That doesn't exactly help me now." I pressed my forehead against the tabletop.

"You're not exactly helping yourself, either." He reminded me, "You're letting them get the best of you. By refusing to give anyone a glimpse in your mind, you're letting those thoughts and memories poison you." I looked back up at him at the mention of that specific word, but he continued, "By refusing to talk about it, you keep yourself believing that there is no hope. You're keeping yourself stuck in those thoughts, perpetuating the idea that it's no use. Only adding more fuel to the fire, so to speak."

It really sucked having a discussion about this while I couldn't feel anything.

"Think of it this way, Leandra." Edward went on, "By refusing to talk about it, you're protecting him."

"No I'm not." I instantly replied.

"In your mind, you are." He argued, "You most certainly are. You're obsessing over him the way he's obsessing over you, and that's not going to change as long as you keep yourself in this cycle."

I whined miserably, lightly thumping my head on the table top again. I wanted so much to really tell him what I thought, but without the emotion behind it, it wouldn't mean as much and the motivation wasn't there.

I wanted to be mad. I wanted to cry and feel pain, but I couldn't. It wasn't just Jasper keeping me from doing that, however. I'd noticed that before. As much as I did cry, I never cried for the reasons I needed to. It wasn't only Jasper keeping those emotions under tight control now.

"It's you." Edward answered for me, "You're so used to hiding, you don't know how to stop. Remember what we talked about earlier? Well, you're getting your answer now." I winced.

"The darkness, Leandra." He muttered, "That part of you, the part you consider stuck in the darkness, that's the part of you that has yet to heal. The one that's not continuously angry like you think, but that's the part of you that's still hurt, and still so afraid."

Of course, he was right, but he had more to say. I just lightly thumped my head again, squeezing my eyes shut. I wasn't exactly wanting him to shut up, but I didn't want to hear all of this. It bothered me, made me uncomfortable, because I thought I was the only one who'd seen that part.

"The part of you that you don't dare let out, because if you do, it'll open you to more pain." He sat down across the table from me, "The part of you that never got what you needed growing up, and the part of you that you protect _so_ fiercely because nobody else ever did."

That one hurt. Hit too close to home, but that hurt was taken by Jasper half a second after I felt it. Esme, however, lightly smoothed my back from her place beside me. I appreciated that.

"That's the part that has stuck with you all your life, and it's the one that you never let see the light of day. That's the part that gets so angry for seemingly no reason. Lashes out, blames those that aren't to blame. Says the things that you don't mean. That's the one that is so.. _Desperately_ terrified, frightened of everything. Terrified of letting anyone too close. Terrified of caring too much, or relying on anyone. Refusing to let you believe anyone when they say anything positive about you.

"It's you, your fight, your anger and hatred, and it convinces you that no matter what, you're not worth it. It hurts you, continuously causing you untold amounts of pain with every new breath you take. That's the part that takes you three steps back and refuses to let you move forward, but you protect it. You protect it, just the same."

I couldn't believe how much he knew. I had underestimated before just how much he'd seen from me, but he was sure letting me know now.

"You hide that away, thinking that's the only way to guard it." He didn't let that thought from me slow him down, "You try so hard to hide yourself away, but that darkness is you. That darkness consists of your emotions, the ones that never left. It's your fear, your pain. Your contempt, your sadness, and your anger at everything he did.

"The years you spent hiding everything, fighting to keep anyone from looking. Fighting to hide while fighting to keep yourself alive. The balance you found, and the unending routine of survival, violence and anger. The things he forced you to see. The situations and experiences he forced you into, and the longer you hide those experiences, the darker that part of you will get, and you'll just continue letting it hurt you. You'll just continue to protect it, because you don't know what else to do."

I didn't say anything. I wasn't trying to defend myself, or argue with him, because I knew he knew exactly what he was talking about.

"You tell yourself you're trying to protect everyone else, but it's not entirely everyone else you're worried about, is it?" He already knew the answer to that. He sighed, "Silence isn't going to hide you anymore. Not like it did with your counselor."

Shit. He knew about that? Carlisle probably told him about it.

"I'm not crazy." I muttered.

"No." He replied, "Of course you're not. Leandra, anyone who has been in the places you've been would have that part of them. Anybody would struggle with the things you struggle with. The point is, there's a whole lot more to it than you're acknowledging. Than you're letting yourself see, but you need to realize that nobody here is going to ever.. _Ever _stop trying to make you see it."

"Just.." He sighed again at my silence, "Give it some thought. Really think about it. Take a step back and get to know yourself. Instead of trying so hard to figure out what your future holds, take another look at where you came from and where you've been. Instead of fighting with yourself and everyone else, really look. You just might be surprised by what you find."

I kept my eyes down, but listened to him stand back up.

"Spend your time with people that make you happy." He told me, "Be a kid while you have the chance." I knew what he meant. I was too young to feel this kind of emotion, but this kind of emotion obviously had no age limit.

I stood up at that, leaving the room. I didn't blame him, but I didn't like that that part of me had been brought to light. I wasn't upset, because I knew I could just hide it away again. I could, it was possible, but now that everyone knew about it, I had a feeling it'd be like trying to hide an elephant behind a square of tissue paper. It just wouldn't work.

I didn't stop to look at anyone else. Passing Jasper, and Alice in the doorway. Passing Emmett and even Rosalie in the hall. Right back into my room, closing and locking the door behind me this time. They'd heard everything, but I wasn't willing to face that.

Apparently, no matter where I was in the house, Jasper could keep my emotions controlled. So his following me earlier was just for his own peace of mind.

I didn't mind it this time. Without so much emotion, I could sit there and think. Just like earlier. Without my emotions making me lash out, Edward was able to say what he needed to say to me without me throwing a salt shaker at his face.

I wanted to be embarrassed, but during the time I had to think, I decided that it wasn't _so_ bad that everyone had heard what Edward had to say. After all, they definitely had the right to know how incredibly fucked up I was.

I was tired, and my head hurt, but I stayed sitting up. Watching the cloudy sky lighten outside. I also had to consider the best way to show my face again, and quickly, because I was getting hungry.

There was no way in hell I could just stay up here the rest of my life, no matter how much I wanted to, so I eventually decided to just go with it. Now they knew. So what? It really wasn't the end of the world.

I left my room with a deep breath. Without nervousness to stop me, I just continued on. Descending the stairs, keeping my eyes down so I didn't trip and accidentally kill myself.

"Leandra?" I looked back at Esme's voice. She was just following me down the stairs, and she smiled a little, "I wasn't expecting you to come out so soon."

"I got hungry." I admitted, and walked with her the rest of the way into the kitchen. Honestly, I didn't know how I was supposed to feel. My lack of normal emotions was confusing me.

"I-I'm sorry." I mumbled as I sat down, "About last night, and-"

"No need." She replied easily, "You're having such a hard time, honey, and we know that. There's no need to feel bad for anything."

I took a breath and nodded. Instead of arguing with her, I'd just accept that.

I really shouldn't have been surprised at Alice's arrival. She fell into the open seat beside me, and I looked over at her. She seemed not quite excited, but expectant.

"Start talking." Were her first words to me this morning and I sighed, "First thing you think of."

"Can't that wait?" Esme sighed.

"No." Alice replied simply.

"It's not that easy." I told Alice, shaking my head.

"Then what do I have to do?" She asked.

"Well.." I muttered, "Make it specific. Like Emmett did." She seemed confused, "He asked about taking care of my mom. What do you want to know about the most?"

"Okay." She nodded a little, pausing for just a second, "What would a typical day for you consist of with him?"

"Weekend, or week day?" I asked, "Because there's a huge difference."

"Weekend."

"Right after a beating, or before?" I asked, "There's a huge difference there, too."

She paused for a moment, "Before."

"If it was a Saturday, that meant Jack was at work." I answered, "He'd leave usually really early in the morning, before I even woke up, and be gone all day. First, right after I'd wake up, I had to go check on my mom to see if she was still alive, and bring her a couple of beers if she was. If she wasn't, Jack always told me to just wrap her up in a sheet and roll her out back. He'd take care of it when he got home. I never had to do that, though."

She winced a little, not liking that. I could understand that, but I'd been used to it, so it didn't really bother me that much. I'd be a bit bummed my pet rock had died, but she wasn't something that couldn't be replaced with a real rock.

Looking over, I noticed the others were curious as well. I should have expected to see Jasper standing there, and I did, but Emmett and Carlisle were a bit of a surprise.

"Leandra?" Alice prompted, and I shook my head a little. Trying to sort out my thoughts. Being distracted sort of scattered them for a moment.

"After making sure she had her beer," I continued, "I'd normally wash my clothes for Monday and Tuesday. By hand, though. I was never allowed to use the washer. For any reason. I'd probably rest after that, because it was pretty hard to do the physical stuff when I was hungry." I paused for a breath, "After that, I'd check on my mom again, bring her another couple of beers, and about then is when she really passed out. I probably wouldn't have to check on her until around evening time, just before Jack got home.

"Until he got back, it was sitting in my room and either work on whatever homework I had, or stare at the wall. Jack would probably be in a really bad mood, so I'd just sit there, and hope he forgot about me. After he got home, the fight would start, and I'd watch for the need to run."

It was silent for about a minute.

"And your mom?" She asked, "Tell me about what that was like." I couldn't understand why she'd be so interested in her.

"I never talked to her." I answered, "I didn't get why I should when she never really talked back, so I just left it. Besides telling her to get up or to move so I could do something with the bed, or if she was in the way, but most of the time, I had to move her myself.

"The couch was easy to move her off of, because I had the back of it right there, and I could just.. Sort of.. Scrunch myself in between her and there, and kick her off onto the floor and step just around her, but the bed was harder. She was heavy for someone like me to move. That's why I only made changing her sheets a once a week thing. I couldn't do that all the time. Sometimes it was twice a week, if I felt up to it, or if she barfed or forgot to go to the bathroom. She was usually pretty good about that, though."

I sighed, deciding to move on before she had to ask.

"Sundays were Jack's days off." I hesitated, skipping over the part I didn't want to say, "I had to be careful. I couldn't do everything I wanted to get done on Saturday, because I had to spend all day Sundays looking like I was busy. If I was busy doing things, he almost never bothered me, because he sure didn't want to do it."

"That's the routine Edward mentioned."

"One of them." I nodded, "There were a lot of them. Ways to get around things."

"And what about after?" She asked hesitantly. After a beating. I took a deep breath, focusing on my hands resting on the table.

"The days after a beating, a really bad one, were spent really hating the day I was born. Not that I didn't usually do that anyway, but especially those days." I muttered, "I don't think really anyone else really knows just how bad someone can hurt. I mean, as a human. There's pain, and then there's _this_ pain. The kind that makes you really dizzy, and even thinking hurts too much. I spent those days just laying there, because moving at all would make me throw up. When just taking a breath almost made me throw up, there wasn't a lot I could do around the house.

"A normal beating, it hurt that bad, yeah, but there was a limit to that pain. After a normal beating, I still had to get up and walk my ass to school after it. Sit there all day, and then walk home, but by the time I had to walk home, it was sitting still I dreaded. I was sort of.. Stiff in standing up, so sitting back down or laying down just made it hurt a lot more.

"I'd get home, and do all the things I didn't do yet. Check on my mom, wash my clothes, pick things up.. Jack would throw things on the floor. Empty food wrappers, empty cigarette packs, and things like that because he knew I needed to stay busy. Plus all the empty bottles my mom didn't bother picking up. That was all my job, and unless I was too hurt to move, I had to do it." I sighed, "Sometimes I still had to do it if he was in the mood to watch me. He was always so proud of what he'd done."

I didn't look at her, unable to help the shame I knew I should feel.

"And what about the nights, Leandra?" She asked, and I froze for a second.

"Except for that." I murmured. I honestly wasn't expecting that one. Looking over at her briefly before turning my gaze back to the table. I could feel Jasper's struggle to keep my emotions where they were. It was the oddest thing. Fighting with him over what I knew I should feel and what he took.

"I won't talk about those. The nights." I muttered, "Not ever."

"Leandra," She spoke again, undeterred, "Why are you so afraid of the dark?" That was a little bit more specific of a question.

"Because that's when everything I can't forget happens." I said quietly. I chose to focus my eyes on my fingers, scratching at the wood of the table lightly. The pressure on my fingernails somehow eased me. It helped to feel something.

"Those are the things bothering you most." She understood, and I nodded, "Then tell me."

"I won't." I repeated.

"Okay." She paused to think again, "What, besides what bothers you the most, would happen?" That was easier to answer. She was getting good at this.

"He'd say things." I replied, "He'd tell me a lot of things. He'd talk to me, but he never yelled at me. He always talked soft in the dark, right into my ear. I hated that so much, but there was no way I could get away from it." I paused, my heart speeding up at the memory. My eyes closed, and I knew any second, that brief increase in fear would be gone. Sure enough, it was, and I could continue.

"Things I still hear when I sleep. Things I still hear when I'm awake. I can still hear them all the time, but so much worse when I sleep, because then, I can still feel and smell everything too."

"What would he tell you?" She asked, her tone quiet. I hesitated, knowing this was the part where I knew I should shut up, but the normal nervousness wasn't there to stop me.

I knew this was one of the things they needed to know. Given the silence, they all waited. What made the dark so intolerable? What made me so terrified of something seemingly so harmless? What did I hear when I woke up sobbing? This was it. Closing my eyes briefly, without the nervousness to stop me, I spoke.

"Mostly, he'd tell me about all the ways he wanted to kill me." I answered quietly, "He'd tell me about all the things he wanted to do to me before he killed me, or while he killed me. There were _so_ many ways.. _So_ many things." I paused for a quiet breath and a single, slow shake of my head.

"He'd tell me.. How much he hated me, and how much I should hate myself, and he'd laugh. He'd laugh when I cried. It made him so happy when I cried. He'd say that that was how it should be. When I was most afraid of him, he'd tell me I was doing good. That was the only time he ever told me I was doing something right."

There wasn't a sound in the room. A pin dropping would have sounded loud, but I forced myself to keep going.

"He'd tell me about how worthless I was. Good for nothing, completely unlovable piece of garbage that nobody wanted. Pathetic. Weak. Such a disgusting little fucking whore, and I only deserved the worst he had to give me." I knew those words by heart. I'd known those words by heart since I was little.

I was actually surprised that she, much less anyone else, could still hear me. My voice had lowered, hardly a whisper as I stared straight down. It made me sick to repeat those words out loud. The words burned me, turned my stomach to say. Worse than my confession the day before about what Christmas meant to me. This was worse than that.

"Every night, for as long as I can remember, he'd tell me that stuff." I forced myself to say, "He always told me that stuff. Even when he wasn't in there for another reason, when I was little. There's more he'd tell me, but I can't say those things."

"It's okay." She offered, which relieved me.

"I can't say them." I shuddered anyway, just thinking about what else he'd say, and I knew for a fact right then that there was no way I would ever get through this without Jasper's help. It really was amazing what he could do, but despite his help, I trembled lightly. A reaction to the emotion I knew I should feel, but highly numbed.

If this helped them really figure out what kind of person Jack was, maybe it would make them believe me when I couldn't let go of the dream I couldn't remember. I took a breath.

"Hearing those things made it hard to breathe," I went on, "And it still does when I remember it, because he'd always hold me too tight. So tight, it was hard to breathe. I had to hear them. I hated the dark, because no matter where I looked, he'd always be there. I couldn't get away from it. He'd make me look at him, and even when I couldn't see, he was always close enough for me to see him.

"I still hate the dark, because I still see him. In my mind, I still see him, and I know at any second, he'll.." I forced myself to stop, gasping a ragged breath in with a shake of my head, "I can't be in the dark. I can't.."

I wasn't surprised by the hug she suddenly pulled me into. I returned it, but allowed myself another tremble or two.

"He told me," I added quietly, "That if I ever told anyone what he did to me or if I ever left him, if I ever ran away, he'd make sure I regretted it. That he'd do as many of those things to me as he could before I died.

"That no matter where or how far away I ran, he'd find me. No matter what it took. I did both of those things, Alice. I did _both_ of those things. He'll do it. I know he'll do it. He'll never stop until he has me again, and he can do what he said he would do."

She hugged me tighter, and looked over. Probably at Esme, and now Carlisle, watching both of us. I looked to them as well, but I couldn't read the expression in Carlisle's eyes at first, so I stopped trying. He wasn't mad, and he didn't pity me, but a close mix of the two.

"We need to find him." Alice's tone was an odd sort of quiet growl, "We need to look harder. Search every single building in this entire city until he's found."

Nobody said anything to that, but I knew it really wasn't that easy. If it'd been that easy, then he'd have been found a long time ago.

The slight fear I'd regained faded completely once again, and I looked over, passed Alice. Jasper and Emmett stood in the doorway, but neither one of them looked like they hated me, which only helped. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

With Alice hugging me like this, her tone didn't make me worry about me having scared her off, and I definitely noticed a similarity between her tone, and Emmett's that day. Making me realize that he'd been telling the truth. He hadn't been mad at me, but hated the situation instead.

Pulling back, she looked at me, "Thank you, Leandra. Thank you for finally telling us." I nodded a little. It really wasn't like I had much choice, but I couldn't help just knowing she meant that.

I took the rest of the day to recover, which wasn't as hard to do as it usually was. I was tired, sure. My head still ached, but it didn't stick around as long as it normally did. I didn't feel it as much, and surprisingly, I managed to get a fairly decent snooze in on the couch.

Unfortunately, I learned that Edward had already left. Early that morning. It sucked, but I understood. He wanted to be alone.

Nobody treated me any differently after the eventful night and morning, but somehow, I knew they saw me differently. I was fully aware of it, but it didn't bother me. That had been a huge, gigantic confession, and though Jasper had almost everything to do with that, I still saw it as some sort of accomplishment. I'd finally given them what they wanted, and I'd done a good thing.

Considering Rosalie let Emmett spend the whole day with me, she must have understood me a little better now. I wasn't trying to somehow steal Emmett as a brother from her. I never had been. He just made me feel better, both protected and less emotional, and I had a feeling that with my backing off, she felt better.

Jasper let me feel again, a little at a time, that evening. While I snoozed, so it was easier to manage. That only intensified the relief I got out of that sense of accomplishment, but I also knew he'd be waiting in case I needed help again.

I could still feel the panic, but it had lessened. Significantly. I was still afraid, but without those specific memories plaguing me as well, it wasn't nearly as bad.

By confessing what I'd confessed, it all eased. It was still there, but somehow with them knowing about it with me, I felt indescribably less alone, and that was a miracle in itself. I'd have to make sure to thank Edward repeatedly the next time I saw him. He didn't know what he'd done by explaining to me, and to everyone else, the way I was.

I finally felt like I'd taken a good step forward. Just by telling them about one of the worst parts of my past that I could.

So I snoozed. More exhausted than I had been in awhile. Also more comforted than I had been in awhile. Somewhere on the very edge of falling asleep and just resting my eyes.

I did, however, refuse to go to bed that night. I wanted to just stay there, and aside from worrying about my health, nobody really minded that. I knew full well that I couldn't keep doing that, but I couldn't help it. I didn't know what confessing those things, actually saying them out loud would do to my dreams, so I chose not to test it. Even with Esme offering to sit with me the whole night, I wouldn't allow it.

Needless to say, I was pretty worn out the following morning, but I refused to let that send me to bed. I was tired, no doubt about it, but short of knocking me out, there wasn't much they could do about that. I couldn't stay awake forever, and I'd eventually just crash, but not while I could help it.

There was one sure way that I would have no choice but to stay up, and that also followed Edward's advice. I wanted to spend time with people that made me happy. Aside from around the house, there was another place I could go, and nobody could say no. Not to this.

The plus side of having the clouds sticking around, was that I could take the short trip to Alyssa's house. I knew she'd be home, since it was still winter break. No school for them until after the first of January. Emmett offered to drive me there, but I liked walking. It gave me a chance to breathe. To get out of being cooped up, and it made me focus on where I was instead of just being taken somewhere.

Surprisingly, Jasper actually wanted to come along again. I would have thought he'd want to stay home, especially with the chance of Emmett making Sammy shed a _lot_ of blood. Of course, that could also have been the reason he wanted to come along, too. To keep him from doing so. Either way, he kept my emotions from getting too rough. Just in case.

"Remember." I said as we left the park, "No killing anybody today, Emmett."

"No promises." He replied from my left, and I shrugged. That was as much of an agreement as I was going to get.

I felt like I knew this path like the back of my hand. Every slight dip and bump in the sidewalk. I'd taken it enough times. Even in the snow, it was easy to step over the places that would have tripped me before I'd learned it so well.

"What are you doing?" Jasper asked me as I slid to a stop on the snowy sidewalk outside the store. I smiled a little, and he gave me a look.

"Just one minute." I requested, "Please?" He sighed, waving me forward. I wasted no time in practically hopping through the door. My snowy shoes tried to slip on the tile, but Emmett caught me.

I laughed a little, righting myself to Mikah's laughter.

"Now we know to be careful when our shoes are wet." He spoke up, "It's so fun seeing you learn these things."

"Shut it." I laughed, straightening my coat.

"Nice reflexes, by the way." That was directed at Emmett, "That floor would have hurt to land on. Trust me."

"Thanks." Emmett chuckled, "You'd think she'd have learned that floors could be slippery after the other day."

"Oh?" Mikah seemed interested.

"New subject." I muttered, only gaining more laughter.

"How've you been, princess?" Mikah asked me, "It's been a little while."

"Not even a week yet." I replied, "But better."

"Glad to hear it." He stepped around the counter, probably to look at me better. He frowned a little when he got that better look, "Bad day?"

"Huh?"

"You look.." He hesitated, "Really tired."

"Oh." I looked down with a sigh, "Yeah, long story."

"You need to start sleeping a little, instead of running around all night." I smiled a little, unable to keep it back.

"I just can't help it sometimes." I sighed, "It's so much fun."

He sighed as well, kneeling down in front of me, "Aly told me what happened last time with Sammy."

"Nothing happened." I quickly said, glancing up at Emmett. He hadn't heard what Zack had told everyone else. Out with Rosalie that evening.

"What happened?" He immediately asked. I winced.

"I'm trying to keep your brother alive." I said to Mikah, "You're not making that very easy."

"I see." He nodded, "I appreciate that, but I'm not going to lie to your brothers."

"Okay." I muttered, "It's his funeral."

"What did he do?" Emmett demanded again.

"He didn't _do_ anything." I replied.

"Essentially," Mikah sighed, looking up at him, "He was harassing her again. Aly won't tell me exactly what he told her, but apparently it almost got physical between one of her friends and Sammy."

"Zack stuck up for me." I allowed, nodding.

"Zack?" Emmett asked, "That kid doesn't have a temperamental bone in his body. It was bad enough to piss him off?"

"The point is," I mumbled, "Sammy didn't do anything. I just ignore him."

"He's on thin ice." Emmett muttered, "He'd better keep his mouth shut." Especially after Emmett found out what he found out the day before.

"Maybe we shouldn't go over there." I frowned.

"He's not there." Mikah told us, "He's out with dad and Jon, so you'll be alright. They'll be gone all day." That seemed to ease Emmett quite a bit, "And Aly's dying to see you, princess."

"Are you going to call me that every time you see me?" I asked, smiling.

"Does that bother you?" He asked in return.

"No."

"Then yes." He smiled. I returned his smile, looking down.

"Okay. Better go on now." He chuckled, "It's pretty boring around here."

"It's not boring here." I replied, "I like being around you." He smiled at that, and I realized how awkward what I just admitted was, "Um.. Is Alyssa gonna be home?" I hoped he accepted that blatant subject change. He chuckled, but gave me a nod.

"She should be." He said, "If not, I have no idea where that kid's run off to, but hey. I've got something for you there. Late Christmas present."

I smiled again, "Really?"

"I was going to go take it by your house tomorrow." He admitted with a smile of his own.

"I beat you to it." It was pretty entertaining how often that phrase came up. He chuckled, finding humor in it as well.

"I'm off at noon today, so if you're still there, I can give it to you." I still couldn't get over how much I liked to see him smile. It made me smile.

"Okay." I agreed quietly, "I'll try to stick around." That was about an hour from then, so I knew the guys wouldn't mind.

"Cool." He nodded, "See you there." I nodded a little, and turned.

Emmett and Jasper followed me out, and I took a breath, looking back at Mikah before the door could close. He was already on his way back around the counter. I smiled a little to myself, choosing to look up and around instead. Slow flakes fell from the sky now, the late morning still showing no signs of the sun peering through the thick clouds.

"He's still too old for you." Jasper murmured, and I looked up at him. I fought the smile from my face, but it wasn't easy.

"I still don't know what you mean by that."

"Remember how much you hated Alyssa's crush on me?" Emmett spoke up and I looked to him, waiting, "Well, now Alyssa gets to hate yours on Mikah." He grinned as if that were the most positive thing in the world.

"I don't have a stupid crush." I muttered, looking forward again.

"Right." Emmett snorted, and I rolled my eyes a little.

"I don't get crushes." I said, "Why would I?"

"Sometimes it's unavoidable, shorty." Emmett smirked, but I let it drop.

I was cold, so I was relieved that Alyssa was home. She opened the door, smiling at me and my set of bodyguards.

"You didn't have to tell Mikah about Sammy." I told her as I stepped inside.

"I know." She replied, letting Emmett and Jasper in, "But I tell him everything." She added an afterthought, "Eventually." She frowned, looking me over, "What happened to you?"

"No sleep?" That's probably what she meant.

"Well, you need to start." She muttered, "You look like crap. No offense."

"Thanks." I grumbled, giving her a look.

She looked to Jasper, since he was closest, "She needs a nap. Work on that, would you?" He smirked.

"No I don't." I told her, "Don't worry about when I sleep."

Giving a look around, I spotted Alex and Emily in the living room. Alex lazily tossed marshmallows at Emily seated on the floor, who tried catching them in her mouth while they watched some TV show about crocodiles. The crocodile on the screen had just started eating a pig when Alyssa spoke again.

"Come upstairs." She offered, "I wanna show you what Mikah gave me yesterday."

I glanced to Emmett, who chuckled.

"Go for it, shorty." He told me, "We'll be here." I nodded a little, and started up the stairs with Alyssa.

Following her into their room, she closed the door behind her. Heading immediately to the small bookcase beside the set of twin beds and lifted a small, blue fabric box from it. Sitting on the bed, she crawled back until her back was against the wall. Gesturing I sit next to her.

I hesitantly did, fully aware my shoes were still on.

"It's okay." She said, shrugging, "I don't care." Landing beside her with a light bounce, I looked over, "Look."

She held up the box, and lifted the lid. Inside the box was a very pretty bracelet. It was made from what looked like a bright silver, but I knew it was white gold. I knew the difference between the two by now, especially with Alice always showing off, and teaching me about her jewelry. All around the band of the bracelet, were dark green stones in flower patterns.

"Wow." I murmured, smiling, "That's very pretty."

"Isn't it?" She asked, grinning as well, "Emily got one just like it, but the stones on hers are purple instead of green."

Eventually, we moved on from the subject of the bracelet, sitting there talking about her home life instead. About how much it'd changed since Mikah did what he did. I still didn't understand, though.

"So.." I mumbled, "What happened? Why did your mom leave?"

"Well.." She sighed, "There's a way someone can report someone anonymously, and if it's serious enough, they'll look into it. If they find something they don't like, well someone goes to jail." I winced, "But it never got that far. Mikah barely had time to tell us before they were coming by to check out the house and to take us all somewhere. They talked to mom, and they talked to dad before they talked to all of us. Separately. I was so scared Emily was going to accidentally say something, but I guess she didn't, because they let us all go home."

"She cares about you guys." I pointed out, "I'm sure that helped tons."

"All we had to do was answer questions," She went on, "But if it sounded bad one way, we had to word it a different way. Act normal. Confused, but normal. Like we do at school, so that part was easy." I nodded a little, listening intently.

"What did they ask about?" I asked when she hesitated.

"Things like.." She paused, "If we were taken care of here, if all our needs were met. Food, warmth, clothing, things like that. They asked us how our parents treated us, and if we were happy. How often we were alone, how often we were supervised." I nodded again, "I don't like to lie, but it wasn't all a lie. I was, and still am, happy where I'm at. I don't want to go anywhere."

She paused for a breath, "Well, the same night we got back home, mom and dad got into a really big fight. Like.. Really big. Throwing things at each other, breaking stuff. Cussing, yelling, everything. I hate those kinds of fights, but we all just locked ourselves in here and waited it out. Even Jon and Sammy were in here, letting them get tired.

"It lasted almost all night, but everyone stayed in here until morning. Jon took Mikah's bed, Sammy slept on the floor. Mikah sat up all night, right down there." She pointed to the floor right beside the two twin beds, "And me, Alex, and Emily all slept here. Well, they slept. I didn't sleep. I stayed awake with Mikah. There wasn't much room, but if it meant we were all okay, I didn't care."

That sounded so scary. She sighed heavily.

"When we could finally leave the next morning, for bathroom breaks and everything, there was broken stuff everywhere. Mikah wouldn't even let us go downstairs at first, until he and Jon could clean things up. I guess there was glass everywhere from dishes and even a broken window. I never got to see the window, because Sammy covered it too quick." She paused once more, "But I guess that's the night mom first left. She came back a couple times to get her stuff, but Mikah said she's never coming back."

"Wow." I finally muttered. I didn't know what else to say. That happened often with her family.

"Mikah says that you talked him into doing this for us." She told me quietly, "He says you gave him the idea. A way to chase her away. Is that true?"

Sheepishly, I nodded, "I'm sorry. I didn't know-"

"No." She said, "Don't be. You don't know how much better it is around here, not having to worry about her coming back. I don't have to worry about her hitting any of us anymore. Especially Mikah. He fought with her all the time, just to keep her away from us. She hurt him most, but I don't have to worry about him anymore. _Thank_ you, Leandra."

I sighed, relieved.

"She's gone." She smiled.

"You're welcome." I replied quietly, and she laughed a little, hugging me.

"You know, Jon and Sammy, they're not always like that." She told me, "Yeah, they're annoying sometimes, and Mikah doesn't always get along with them, but they're brothers."

"Well.." I sighed, "As long as you get along with them, it's okay. I don't like them, though."

"I can't blame you much." She sighed, releasing me and leaning forward to set the bracelet box back on the shelf, "I guess it does take work to get used to them."

"But things are better, though. Right?" I asked, and she nodded enthusiastically, "That's what matters most to me."

"Daddy doesn't yell near as much anymore." She told me, and I sighed. Relief in my smile as I believed her, "Thank you, Leandra."

I heard clearly how grateful she really was, and it made me feel a whole lot better than before. I just smiled, and hugged her lightly. For once, I'd actually made the right decision. Something I did actually helped someone else. Knowing that really made being chased from the store that day worth it.

I couldn't help being immensely happy about that.

"So." She smiled as she pulled back, "Did you see Mikah on your way here?"

"Yeah." I answered, "We stopped in to see him."

"Tell me the truth." She said, "Do you like him?" I sighed heavily, looking down. How was I supposed to answer that? I pursed my lips stubbornly as I looked back up at her, "You do." The grin that spread across her face was a knowing one. If that thought bothered her, she sure didn't show it. She seemed happy about it.

"Don't look at me like that." I muttered defensively.

"You do." She pressed, "You like him."

"I don't know, okay?" I asked, "I don't even know what 'liking' somebody means."

"It's actually not that big of a deal." She assured me, shaking her head.

"Then why does it matter?" I countered.

"Because I have to know." She replied, "He's single, you know."

"So?" I grumbled, and she laughed.

"So you don't have to worry about a girlfriend getting jealous."

"Oh my God." I hid my face in my palms. Why was everyone always so interested in who I did or didn't like? It was humiliating.

"Wait.." I frowned, "Why the heck is he single? Why doesn't he have a girlfriend?"

She shrugged, "I've wondered the _same_ thing. Sammy has two girlfriends, and Jon has one _some_where, but Mikah doesn't have one? How weird is that?"

"You've never met Jon's?"

"Nope." She said, "He doesn't bring her over here, but I've heard him talking about her." I winced, looking away. I could only imagine what she'd overheard him saying about her, "I guess her dad's an asshole just for not liking Jon, but I can't blame him any. Dad yells at him all the time for dating someone that's sixteen, when he's eighteen."

"I don't blame the guy either." I muttered.

"I've met both of Sammy's girlfriends, though." She added, "They're pretty nice, but I tell them every chance I get that my brother isn't a very nice guy. They never listen."

"Stupid." I sighed, shaking my head, "If there's one person they should listen to, it's his sister."

"That's what I said." She laughed a little, "One is a girl that lives just up the street from us. Like four or five houses down that way. She just turned twelve last week. I went to her party. The other lives a couple of streets that way, I think. I don't know exactly where that one lives."

I nodded a little.

"Then why does he want to bother me so much?" I asked.

"Like I said," She replied, "He says it makes it more fun for him that you hate him so much. Jon just tells him that you're playing hard to get, and that you'll give in eventually."

"Not a chance." I muttered.

"I keep telling him to leave you alone, and so does Mikah, but he listens to what Jon tells him to do instead."

"Is it Jon telling him to say all those things to me?" I asked.

"No." She replied, "That's just how he is. I think he thinks if he keeps bugging you about it, you'll give him a chance."

"Well, he needs to stop it." I replied, "Because Emmett's ready to rip his stupid little head off."

She laughed, but she obviously didn't know how serious I was.

"How could anyone fall for that crap, though?" I asked, "Sammy's girlfriends must both really be stupid. It grosses me out more than anything."

"Maybe it's different when you're eleven or twelve." She suggested, "Maybe instead of getting smarter, girls just got more stupid."

"Maybe." I replied, "If that's how it goes, I'm not turning eleven."

"Me neither." She agreed, shaking her head along with me, "But you know, if something doesn't change, I'm going to have to be the one to find Mikah a girlfriend, and I'm not really ready for that kind of responsibility." I couldn't help laughing, "Seriously. What if I pick someone all wrong for him?"

"Why not just let him find one on his own?"

"Because he would have by now if he could." She reasoned.

"Maybe he just doesn't want one." I replied, shrugging.

"He's too nice not to have one." She countered, "He definitely needs one."

I laughed again, "This really bugs you, doesn't it?"

"Yeah." She replied, "I want him to be happy, but don't worry." She paused for a giggle, "I won't tell him that you like him, but I think he already knows."

"I've spent exactly thirty seconds around him." I reminded her, "How would he know?"

"So you do."

"Stop." I had to laugh this time. She was relentless.

Time really passed quickly while we argued, and we looked over at the door opening, Mikah stepping in. Immediately, Alyssa started on a giggle fit. I smacked her arm lightly, giving her a look that told her stop.

"Sorry I'm a little late." He chuckled, laying his vest across his bed with a sigh, "I see Emmett is having fun entertaining the kids."

"Is he?" I wondered, sitting forward. Oddly enough, that didn't bother me.

"Yup." Mikah replied, "He seems to be quite entertained as well." He chuckled. I wasn't jealous about that. I actually hoped he'd stay entertained himself.

"He's pretty good at keeping someone entertained." I admitted.

"He's got a big heart." He agreed.

I smiled a little, and he laughed, studying us, "What's with her?" He gestured to Alyssa, who snorted and restarted her giggling as she fell to the side.

"She's weird." I answered, unable to help laughing a little with her, "Damn, Alyssa. Take a breath."

Shaking his head, Mikah sat on the side of his bed, and with a sigh, he reached out to the tiny table beside it. Opened the small drawer on the front of it.

"Come here." He told me, and I instantly scrambled off Alyssa's bed, ignoring Alyssa's continued giggles behind me, "It's not wrapped, but I saw this, and I thought of you." I sat down next to him, and he lifted out a small snow-globe.

My eyes were glued to it instantly, the light coming in through the window catching the glass in a beautiful way. He handed it to me, and it was pretty heavy. The figure inside the globe was a sail boat on dark, choppy waves. Dark gray in the painted background. I tilted it a little, watching the 'snow' swirl slightly.

"It plays music." He smiled, gesturing to the bottom. I looked, and sure enough, there was a little knob. Carefully, I turned it a few times. Once I let it go, and it started to play, I had no choice but to listen.

The song it played, of course in music box fashion, was both haunting and sweet at the same time. The word 'beautiful' couldn't even begin to describe the tinkling tune. It wasn't only because he gave it to me that I liked it, I told myself. The tune, the way it sounded grabbed my full attention, and it calmed me. It eased me, and made it hard to breathe at the same time. I felt like I wanted to cry.

"I thought of you, because it plays one of my favorite songs." He murmured quietly, and I glanced up at him, "There are words to that song. Here, I wrote them down.." From the drawer, he also lifted out a small piece of paper, and handed it to me. It was folded once in half, so I lifted it open.

The tune started over right at that moment, and under his breath beside me, he sang along with it. Half way down the page, he pointed to the words. The sound of his singing voice made me smile, because it was so sweet. Soft, and quiet.

"Sometimes we're just like the weather. Changing by day after day." He sang quietly, "As long as we'll be together, storms will pass away. I said I would guard and protect you, and keep you free from all harm, and if life should ever reject you, that love would weather each storm."

It was just a song, but I looked up at him.

"Like a sister." He assured me, and I smiled a little, laughing along with him.

"I know." I replied, looking at the globe again.

"As amazing as you are, you're a little on the young side," He explained, "And I really don't want to die by your brothers any time soon, which I have a feeling would happen if I didn't specify that."

I couldn't help it. I couldn't ignore, or deny it. I was a little disappointed, but I understood it. I was just a kid. That didn't do a thing to discourage how I felt about him, though, and this present only intensified that. A crush was okay, right?

I still loved the present. A lot.

"Thank you." I made sure to place as much gratitude in my tone as I could, and he smiled, "I love it."

"It's the least I could do for you." He said, "After you helped us out so much."

Continuing to read the words to the song, I couldn't help thinking. How perfectly these words seemed to fit his personality. The parts of his personality I did know, and the parts I didn't know. I just knew that's who he was.

I was still stuck with the question, though. Who was Mikah?

I wanted so bad to remember him from the vision, but it was stuck. I was only allowed to feel the familiarity, but I couldn't be shown what warranted it.

Had he really always been there? It seemed so strange that he would be there, when I had been left behind when the family moved here in the vision. I shouldn't have known him.

It was frustrating.

We wound up staying probably a lot longer than we should have. With Emmett getting personal permission from me to entertain the kids, he was having a blast getting to know Emily and Alex. Apparently, I was learning how to share him.

We did join them downstairs, but that was only because I felt like I was abandoning them while staying upstairs.

Mikah got to work fixing dinner for them, but I wasn't exactly hungry. The emotion I felt filling my stomach, both new and leftover from the other day, making being hungry impossible. I was also pretty worn out by then.

Unfortunately, my okay mood was squashed flat by the arrival of Grant, Jon and Sammy. This was Grant's first time meeting Emmett and Jasper, and I watched their interaction closely. Grant seemed a lot less tense, but he couldn't lose that natural tension he carried with him.

Jon immediately went upstairs, obviously not in the mood to stay and socialize, but Sammy instantly located me where I sat next to Alex.

"Look who it is." He smiled at me, "Hi there, Leandra." He wasn't being rude yet, but his tone was one I hated. I glared at him before I changed seats, standing and scooting over on the couch. Sitting on Alex's other side, closest to the wall. Emmett chatted with Grant, keeping his focus, but Jasper watched me. No doubt sensing and seeing how uncomfortable I was as Sammy flopped down on the other side of the couch. The seat I'd just vacated.

He didn't say anything else at first, just glancing at me now and then. Probably not brave enough to yet. Not until Alex moved. Freeing the spot between Sammy and I, which Sammy immediately took. I cringed away, instantly feeling cornered and considering standing up.

I couldn't blame Alex for getting up. Not only was he oblivious to how much I disliked Sammy, but he also wanted to go check on how Mikah was coming along with dinner, but I hated him for it.

I adjusted how I sat, my legs folded to the side on the couch with me. Forcing him to keep his distance.

"Hi." Sammy smiled at me again, "Mind if I sit here?"

"It's your couch." I muttered, looking to the TV again.

"Sammy.." Alyssa warned him from the other couch, where she sat cuddling Emily, "Leave her alone."

"I'm not doing anything." He said innocently, "Hands are right here." He held them up, "I'm just sitting here. Is that a crime?"

"No." I grumbled, but if he tried anything funny, I knew Jasper would tear his head off. Probably not that extreme, but it made me feel better to think about. As forced calm as I was on the outside, I couldn't help feeling nervous at how close he'd gotten by scooting over. It reminded me a lot of sitting with Ken, oddly. How aware I was of everything, especially myself.

"So." Sammy spoke to me, and I ignored him the best I could, "Did you have a good Christmas?" Silence was his answer, "Oh, come on. I'm not a bad guy. I'm just trying to talk to you."

"Right." I muttered sarcastically.

"I'm not." He insisted, "We started off on the wrong foot. It's not fair for you to hate me so soon."

"It's plenty fair." I replied quietly, "I can hate someone if I want to."

"No you can't." He chuckled just as quietly, "I could be the best person in the world, and you'd never know it."

"But you're not." With a sigh, he scooted forward to sit on the edge of the couch and turned, facing me, but his back to Jasper. Sammy had gotten closer, his leg touching mine. I glanced passed him, right to Jasper, who'd obviously noticed what he was trying to do, despite Sammy's casual tone. Jasper's expression gave away his edgy mood, which didn't happen often. Subtly, I shook my head. I was okay for now.

"Why do you say that?" Sammy asked, a smile in his voice. I looked to him again.

"I just don't like you." I growled back, "Is that a crime?"

"No." He replied, "Nobody ever likes me at first, but you'll come around." He was so confident, "Don't you worry about that."

"I wouldn't be so sure." I muttered.

"I would." He chuckled, and half a second later, I felt the unmistakable feeling of his hand putting pressure over my ankle and squeezing. No part of him had moved but his hand, and the rest of him hid the movement from Jasper's anxious gaze.

"Well, this was fun." I grumbled, standing up. He actually felt brave enough to reach up and grab my wrist, keeping me from moving away. His hand around my wrist almost burned me. It felt too hot, and I didn't appreciate that in the slightest. Before Jasper could get more than one step in, I rounded and laid a solid, echoing slap to Sammy's face.

He actually fell over with the force of it, and before he even hit the couch, I darted away. Straight to Jasper's side as every single pair of eyes in the room followed me.

"What the fuck?" Sammy barked, obviously not expecting that.

"What'd you expect?" I snapped in reply, "Don't ever grab me."

"It was just your wrist, you bitch." He glared at me now, "And I wasn't hurting you."

"I don't care."

"Sammy," Grant spoke, "What the hell did you do now?"

"What the hell happened?" Mikah had come from the kitchen, probably having heard the slap. Alex trailed after him, obviously entertained by the expression on his face.

As relieved as I was to see Mikah, I wasn't moving from Jasper's side. I also wasn't daring to look away from Sammy as he stood up. It was the quietest of sounds, one even I barely heard over the sound of the TV when I was standing directly against his side, but Jasper's growl told me we needed to leave. I glanced up at him, but he wasn't looking at me.

"Sammy," Grant growled, "Go upstairs."

"But-"

"Fucking _now_." He wasn't happy, and as scary as he sounded, I was pleased that Sammy was in trouble for that instead of me. I glared at him as he passed me, and he returned that glare. His left cheek blazing red from my slap, I knew he wasn't happy with me either. He paused, as if to say something to me.

"Keep moving." Jasper told him before he could even speak, and to me, Jasper's tone was far scarier than Grant's. Wisely, Sammy listened to him.

"Sammy, you moron." Mikah hissed a whisper his direction, "How many times have I told you-"

"I didn't fucking do anything." Sammy whispered back, "That bitch is crazy."

"Say that word one more time." Emmett barked, and that sent Sammy right up the stairs.

"I think we better go." I muttered, finally pulling Jasper's attention away from Sammy's retreat upstairs. I finally let go of Jasper's arm, not even realizing I'd grabbed onto it, and looked back at Alyssa. She was just as unimpressed as Mikah was, shaking her head in Sammy's direction. She looked to me.

"Don't say it." I told her, sighing, "It wasn't your fault."

"I'm still sorry." She replied, standing up, "If he won't say he's sorry, then I will for him."

"That was a _good_ one." Alex laughed from the side, "That _sound_." His enthusiasm was just enough to break the tension, "I told him. I _told_ him he didn't want to get hit by her, but he just didn't listen. I bet that sucker's gonna bruise, and I bet anything he deserved it."

"Yeah." I muttered, "He deserved it."

I wandered over their direction, glancing up the empty stairs. Sammy was long gone, probably crying to Jonathan over what I did.

I sighed, looking up at Mikah. Vaguely overhearing Grant apologizing to Emmett. That seemed to diffuse him just enough. I still knew I had to make this quick.

"Sorry." I told Mikah, "I wasn't even thinking."

"Don't you dare be sorry." He sighed, hugging me. It was a shoulder hug, very light pressure but it still meant a lot to me. I wished I knew why I liked that so much. Very little to no contact with him before, now I officially knew what he smelled like. Which, for some reason, made my heart beat faster. I wasn't nervous. Not in the least.

He chuckled when I held on a little longer than I should have. Laughing a little also, I let him go, stepping back to look up at him.

"That kid needs to learn some manners or two." Mikah shook his head, "Specifically, that when someone doesn't like him, they don't like him, and he doesn't get to press the issue."

He was upset too, but I understood. Sammy was giving their family a bad image.

"For what it's worth," I admitted, "I'm glad I came over." That eased him enough to take a deep breath, and he smiled.

"Well," He sighed, "I'm glad you had a good time. I'm sorry my brother is the way he is."

"It's not your fault." I replied, "I blame Jon."

"Me too." He chuckled, and I laughed along with him, "Take care, kid. I'll see you around." I nodded a little.

"Bye." I told him. I was a little eager to get out of there before I could blush too much.

"Bye." He replied, watching as I turned.

"Bye, Alex." I smiled at him.

"Bye." He returned with a grin, "You just made my night."

We left there just before dark, actually spending a few hours there, and by then the snow had picked up. Dumping in huge flakes, making the sidewalk slick.

My face felt extra warm out in the cold, so I knew my blush was very, very obvious. I wasn't used to blushing this much.

"Oh, that kid is very lucky." Jasper was still fuming. Furious by the sound of it.

"Tell me about it." Emmett grumbled, and that was the end of that for right then.

To avoid slipping, I walked slower. Until that got old, and Emmett decided to carry me like a backpack. Perched on his back. One of my arms around his neck, holding myself on while he supported my legs.

I didn't mind it when he carried me. It was kind of fun being up that high. It was colder now, though, and I shivered. Even with my gloves and my hat, I was cold.

My new gift from Mikah clutched tight in my hand, I admired it as Emmett carried me along. The light still catching on the glass globe perhaps even more beautifully now than it had before.

"Leandra," Jasper spoke up, "Why didn't you tell us?" I looked over at him, "About Alyssa's mother?" Crap. They'd finally overheard.

"It wouldn't have meant the same if they didn't do it themselves." I answered, "Believe me, I know. When Alice let me make the decision myself, it meant a lot to me. It.. Gave me something I probably wouldn't have gotten if everything had just been done for me. I wanted that for them."

"Well that was a good, solid answer." Emmett pointed out in the silence that followed.

"And I know it means a lot to Mikah to protect them, and fix things for them himself." I added, "There's a lot to him that you don't know."

"He must be a pretty great guy to gain your crush on him." Emmett smirked, and I sighed. Hitting his shoulder a little, "I'm just saying."

"That's another thing.." Jasper sighed, "I'm not sure I'm comfortable with it."

"I think it's cute." Emmett countered, "And there are worse guys she could like." Jasper was obviously not as accepting of it as Emmett was, "Hell, she could have been one of the ones that decide to crush on college-aged guys, or even someone older. Sixteen is a hell of a lot better than nineteen, in my opinion."

"That's only a difference of three years." I pointed out, peering over his shoulder at his expression.

"Three big years, shorty." He said, "Especially in terms of, oh I don't know.. Say.. The law?" I couldn't help laughing at his incredulous expression. I wasn't quite sure what he meant by that, but I didn't feel like asking.

"It's still a big difference, Emmett." Jasper murmured, and I looked his way, "He's sixteen. She's ten."

"Ten and a half." I muttered.

"It's just a crush." Emmett dismissed, "Probably not a reciprocated one, and nothing's ever going to come out of it. You heard the dude. He's smart, and besides. Leandra probably reminds him way too much of Alyssa. Mikah's a good guy. He's been nothing but sweet to her since we've known him. I can definitely see why shorty would take a liking to him."

After a few more moments, Jasper sighed.

"You're right." He allowed, "You're right. I'm being overprotective."

"And look at it this way." Emmett added, "I'm happy to know that she has the ability to get crushes, instead of being scarred for life against that sort of emotion or hating herself for it."

"Good point." Jasper nodded.

"She'll be alright." Emmett assured him, patting my leg lightly and I smiled a little. I appreciated his input more than he knew. It made me feel less worried about it.

In how dark and snowy the evening had gotten, it was difficult to see much of any difference in color of cars driving by, but just like every time I was out, I searched for any car that could pass for dark blue, but under the orange of the street lights, they all looked black. Dark red, black, dark blue, all looked black.

There was a lot of traffic around this time of night, so it was hard to look too close at any one single vehicle, but that didn't stop me from trying. The chances of me seeing anyone I recognized were slim, and I knew that. So I eventually did stop trying. It was useless anyway. If they didn't want to be seen, they wouldn't be seen.

The entire rest of the way home, I thought about Mikah. The sound of his voice when he sang to me continuously running through my head, and I tried as hard as I could, but I couldn't stop smiling. Was that was it meant to like someone? That they made you happy?

That didn't seem so bad, and Emmett was right. Mikah was a good guy.

My teeth were chattering by the time we got home. Shivering continuously as Emmett let me down onto my feet inside the house.

"Go get warm, shorty." Emmett told me, and I dashed up the stairs.

A shower would have worked just as well, but I wanted to take a bath. For some reason, I wasn't too eager to just get clean and get out. I knew as long as I was in here, nobody would bug me, so I took as long as I wanted. I knew Emmett would let them know that everything was fine, and nothing went wrong. Aside from Sammy making Jasper edgy enough to head home.

Even with the big-enough-to-swim-in tub, I just found a corner. I didn't mind spending some much needed time alone. Time alone to think.

Alyssa had said it wasn't a big deal, but to me, it was. I couldn't like anyone. That was against my own personal rules, but then again, trusting had been too. I now trusted my family with my life, so maybe was I just really eager to break my own rules?

I also couldn't help thinking, though, that the reason I liked Mikah so much was because he was familiar to me. He'd been in that vision I had, I knew that for a fact, but how? He was a part of it, but was he a good part? Or a bad part? If I liked him, that meant he had to be good, right? Did I just like him because I remembered him? Or was it because in the now, he was a good guy?

As usual, I was over-thinking. I knew I was, but I couldn't help it. This was such a new thing to me.

The only draw back to my bath, was me not even realizing I was falling asleep.

Since I was braced by the back of the stone tub, I didn't slide, but I did sleep. However, no memories plagued me. No dreams, or nightmares. Despite the way I had to have been asleep for some time.

When I did wake up, it was because I tried to roll over, and the water had cooled significantly. I knew I couldn't keep sleeping in the tub, so I crawled out, regretting sitting in the warm water for so long, because the second I left it, I was freezing again.

I didn't even have the energy to get dressed right away. I laid down on my bed, wrapped completely in an over-sized towel, and promptly fell right back to sleep. I'd meant to wake up enough to at least see everyone else downstairs, but that didn't happen.

With as tired as I was, I should have been surprised I didn't somehow slip and fall between the tub and my bed on the smooth hardwood, but the only falling I did, was right onto my bed.

When I woke up in the morning, I was deeply confused. I remembered exactly how I fell asleep, but when I sat up, I had pajamas on, and was under the blanket.

It didn't concern me how I was suddenly dressed. I wasn't worried about that. It concerned me how I slept so deeply, I had no recollection what-so-ever of anyone moving me. I slept right through it. That never happened. Never.

Normally, every other time, all someone would have to do was come near the bed and I was awake. I somehow sensed someone was there, and I'd wake up. It confused me how I could be moved, dressed, and tucked into bed without even knowing it.

Sniffling quietly, I just sat there for a minute or two. Reaching beside me, I pulled Mikah's present to me from the bedside table. Watching the 'snow' inside the globe swirl as I shook it gently. I wondered briefly if he knew just how perfect that song was for him. He had to.

Sighing, I set the globe to the side, and climbed out of bed.

Emmett chuckled as he saw me, and I sat down next to him for a minute.

"You were out cold last night, shorty." He told me, "Esme says you never moved."

"I don't know why." I muttered, confused.

"Hey, I wouldn't be complaining."

"I'm not complaining." I replied, "Just confused. That's all."

"Maybe you should play that song more often." Emmett chuckled, and though he said it trying to tease me, I had to admit. That was the only thing that was different that I knew of. I smiled a little, shrugging as I sighed. I didn't know what to say.

"My hand hurts." I mumbled instead. Reaching over, he lifted it. Inspecting my palm for me. My palm was lightly bruised, but nothing too bad.

"It's fine." I told him, sighing.

"If your hand is bruised like this," He said, "I wonder what his face looks like." I smirked a little at that one, "You really let him have it."

"He deserved it." I mumbled.

"Damn right, he did." Emmett replied, "I don't blame you at all, shorty."

I nodded a little, leaning back and closing my eyes for a moment. Until he spoke again.

"So Alice told me something last night." He muttered conversationally, "She wants to be the one to tell you, but-"

"Emmett!" I heard her call, cutting him off. I laughed a little as she came running down the stairs, landing on the couch between where he sat, and where I sat with a grin, "Guess what?"

"No idea." I admitted, laughing a little at her excitement. This was something that was obviously good, but her definition of good and my definition of good were sometimes opposite. Often, actually.

"Jack left town." She told me with a grin, and I blinked in surprise, "From what I can see, they all did. They went back."

I didn't know what to say. I was stunned.

"What?" I asked. That was all I could manage.

"They left, Leandra. They're not here anymore." She clarified, and I still didn't know what to say. This news actually scared me. Not only because I knew the fact that they left didn't mean anything good, but it scared me because I couldn't help comparing the last few months.

I stood up, turning and heading into the kitchen. To the calendar hanging up.

"When did we get here?" I asked, knowing Alice followed me. Already turning back the pages, back to September.

"The fifteenth." She answered quietly behind me. We'd caught Esme's attention as well. I followed the days with my finger. I flipped to October, holding the page of September, and found the day in October, "This is when he got here."

Alice looked to me, surprised.

"How did you-"

"This is the day I ran into him at the store." I turned quickly to November, finding the exact day, "And all this time, between here," I touched the day in September, "And here," I flipped the page, my finger on December 26th, "Up until yesterday, is how long he's been here. He left yesterday. Can you not figure it out?"

She narrowed her eyes in confusion.

"I've known the entire time we were here that he was either coming for me, or here." I said, "I just didn't know that I knew. My dreams were warning me." Understanding started in her eyes, and she smiled a little, "I didn't wake up once last night. Well, I did, but that was just to go to bed. I'd never been that relaxed, unless you count the first night here. After that, it's been nothing but.. I don't know, nervousness. It wasn't just trying to adjust that had me freaking out so much. It didn't get really bad until here." I looked at October again, "I knew they were coming before they got here, and I knew they were leaving before they left.

She was understanding more.

"That's why I hated the idea of school." I said, letting go of the pages, "I knew they would try something there. I knew it before anybody told me anything. I just didn't know that I knew it. This doesn't relieve me, Alice. It's too weird. I'm scared."

"Don't be." She said, pulling me into a hug, "It's just your gift. You're developing it."

"Then why the hell can't I see everything of the first vision yet?" I asked, my voice trembling slightly.

"Because it was so big." She replied, "Leandra, that vision spanned years. I've never even had one that spanned that long. That's going to take time for someone to recall. Especially if your gift isn't even developed yet, and especially if you're under the stress of a threat like Jack, and your gift is already busy trying to warn you."

That made sense.

"Your gift is confused." She explained, "That's all it is. Stuck between trying to refresh your memory of the first vision you had, and warn you about things now. You're okay." I hadn't even noticed I'd started to cry.

"One thing you need to learn." I sniffled deeply, stepping back and clearing the tears from my cheeks, "Don't ever be relieved by anything he does. Everything he does.." I trailed off for another few tears, "He doesn't take a step without a reason or plan behind it."

I shook my head, "This isn't good news. If anything, this just scares me more, because I know he wouldn't be going back unless he had a reason for it. He hasn't given up. I know him too well."

**A/N:**** I applaud her. :D  
It got a little interesting there at the beginning, but yay, it was sorted. (:  
THANK YOU to those amazing reviewers! Reviews are always appreciated. Deeply. More than you could possibly know. :'D  
Thirteen won't be far behind this one. Hopefully. I'm still seeing only fourteen chapters for this story, but that still has a chance to change. We shall see what happens.  
Until Thirteen, my friends! :D:D:D**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

Jack was gone, but that didn't ease my worry. Maybe it was just taking awhile for me to feel the relief everyone else felt.

Carlisle left work early that day, coming home around noon instead of more towards the evening like usual. I didn't ask why, but for the first time in a long time, I felt like following him wherever he went. He didn't seem to mind that, and I sincerely hoped I wasn't annoying him, but I was just happy he allowed it.

Edward had told me to trust Carlisle to keep me safe, and so far, he'd been doing just that. They all had. As lost as I felt without the routine of school, I started to take interests in new ones, which involved trailing behind random members of the family. Mostly it was Esme, or Alice. Today, that was Carlisle.

I liked watching him, and I found it a lot easier to talk to him now. Wondering about things, which he'd answer, or explaining my view on whatever subject I'd come up with. Just talking. Truthfully, I wasn't sure until I had a chance to really see that I wouldn't be treated any differently. Once I got passed that hesitation, it was easy.

I watched him and the way he interacted with the rest of the family. It was pretty interesting to watch when I really started paying attention. When I had the room to focus on that, instead of stuck in my own misery or thoughts. It was also nice when they weren't all trying to avoid a certain subject.

I hadn't given myself this chance yet. Something had changed, both in me and in them. From the start, I'd always had some odd sort of guilt about invading their lives, but it felt different now. I didn't so much feel like I'd invaded, but more a part of it.

Before, I'd only allowed myself to feel that way with Esme, but it'd grown. I stopped blocking myself from getting too attached, because I knew that'd happened whether or not I wanted it to. I didn't consider myself an outsider anymore, and that was probably thanks to Edward and what he'd done for me.

That was also thanks to Jasper. His ability gave me the chance to do something I absolutely never would have been able to before. My emotions were all that was stopping me from confessing much of anything to my family, and that had been a real problem. With his insistence, I got passed it, and it really proved what they had been telling me all along. I really didn't have anything to worry about when it came to that stuff.

If I had known I could feel so much better about it, then I definitely would have asked him to help me sooner, but I had a feeling he hesitated before, because he worried about overstepping. I couldn't blame him, but I was deeply appreciative to feel this way now.

After the night before, I was less eager to go over to Alyssa's house. Jasper seemed calmer today, but I still didn't like how close it came. It wasn't so much the fact that I hit Sammy that pissed him off, but it was the fact that Sammy had grabbed me at all.

It didn't matter to Jasper that he hadn't hurt me doing so, but the contact of his hand on me for any reason at all was enough. Just the same as it had been for me.

Hitting Sammy might have been an overreaction on my part, but I'd rather have overreacted than not have reacted enough, and let him think it was okay to do that. I found out that not one person disagreed with that reasoning. Apparently, that had been exactly right, and that made me feel better.

Without bloodshed, I'd gotten my point across. Right across his face.

So I followed Carlisle, and the fact that he didn't mind only encouraged me. I liked to see the way he treated everyone about the same, except for Esme. Every time he'd interact with her, I couldn't help smiling, because he was always so easy with her. I liked seeing that. He treated her like just by looking at him, she gave him everything. Like she was all he could see for those several moments.

I'd never noticed that before. I'd been too wrapped up in my own issues, but now that I was seeing it, I felt like I'd been missing out this whole time. Comparing this example to the way Jack always treated and talked about my mom, there was no possible way they could be any more different. More than night and day. Way beyond opposites.

Esme and Carlisle were separate people, but together, they were something different. It was really interesting to see.

Esme visited me that night, keeping me company before bed, and for once, Carlisle did as well. I was happy about that, because I still had a few more questions for him.

I laid down with a sigh, cuddling under the blanket.

"Can you leave the light on?" I requested, and Esme sighed with a sad smile.

"Of course." She replied. She and I both knew I had nothing to worry about, but it wasn't so much having anything to worry about that made me ask to leave it on. It was just the fear of the memories I'd see in the dark that had me leave it on. The nightlight across the room wasn't enough to ease me some nights, and she understood that.

"I'm concerned that you're not getting the rest you need with it on." Carlisle spoke up, and I looked over at him, "Even while you're asleep, having a light on you can effect how restful you sleep."

"The nightlight isn't bright enough." I explained quietly, nervously scrunching my hand in the blanket, "And when I wake up, I know it won't be enough."

"Let's try something different." He suggested, and I watched him as he turned, crossing the room. He turned on the closet light, and closed the door half way. That was much brighter than the nightlight was, but not as bright as the lamp being on beside me. I hadn't even thought of doing that.

Almost hesitantly, Esme reached over and turned off the lamp. I could still see around the room, almost every corner of it, but I wasn't being blinded by the lamp next to me. That was acceptable.

"How's that?" Carlisle asked, and I nodded. I could live with that.

"Better." I replied, and he nodded. I took a breath, sighing it out. Laying there for a few silent seconds, I looked over at him again, "Can I ask you something?" I'd asked that probably a million times that day, but his answer was always the same.

"Of course." He replied.

"Alice said Jack is gone now," I started, and he waited, "But did it ever bother you to think that he could have been right there the whole time, and you'd never have known it?"

"We know what they look like now, Leandra." He answered.

"But Emmett said-"

"It did take awhile to find their pictures, it's true." He told me, "Especially considering how far they'd gone to disappear, but we know what they look like."

"Are you sure it's them?"

"Alice confirmed." He nodded a little, "From what she's seen, it's them."

"And you've never seen them around?"

"Not a trace, unfortunately." He replied, and I sighed, cuddling deeper under the blanket. I didn't like that he was able to get so close to me in the store, but nobody had ever seen him.

"Can I ask you something else?" I asked, and he smiled a little.

"Of course." He replied again. I hesitated, before speaking again.

"If I ever did go missing, would you ever stop trying to find me?" I knew that question bothered him. Esme as well, but she stayed quiet.

"Absolutely not." He answered, "There would not be a day that went by without us searching extensively for you. We would find you, no matter what it took." He paused, "But you don't need to worry about that."

"It just makes me feel better to know that." I admitted quietly, nodding a little.

"Don't worry about that, Leandra." Esme offered, "Get some rest." I nodded again, closing and resting my eyes for a few seconds. I looked up as Esme stood.

"Night." I mumbled.

"Goodnight, sweetie." She replied, and I watched them leave. Leaving my door open just a bit, which also helped ease me. Cautiously, I let myself fall asleep.

I'd dreamed while I slept, but for the first time in forever, it wasn't about anything bad. Not one thing bad. It was mostly about the things I saw the day before, following Carlisle around. The calm way he'd explained everything to me when I'd ask, and especially his last words to me the night before. How much I believed him.

Somehow, that just made everything better. Easier on me. I figured out quickly that because I'd allowed myself to pay closer attention to what was going on around me, instead of everything going on in my head, I could start replacing some of the things in my head with what was going on around me. I'd never realized that before.

I _had_ been too focused on all the wrong things.

There was one good thing about Jack not around anymore, however. Alice confirmed that he had no intentions of returning to New York, so that opened a new door for me. Almost literally.

I could finally leave the house on my own if I promised to be careful, and to stay as far away from Sammy as I could. That only made me believe Alice more when she told me Jack was gone for the foreseeable future. I took advantage of that new freedom.

"Hey, princess." Mikah's greeting was the usual one, "How are you?" I was getting to know the hours he worked as well as he knew them.

"Bored?" I asked, letting the door close behind me.

"Very." He chuckled, "But here you come to save the day."

"It's what I'm best at." I replied, "How is Sammy?"

"Oh, he's pissed." He laughed, "But he deserved it. I think you're the first one outside the family to ever be brave enough to hit him."

"I just had to show him that not everyone is willing to put up with his shit."

He gave me a look at that last word, shaking his head with another laugh, "You're the cutest thing."

I grinned, "I try."

"But you're exactly right, princess." He pointed out, "You deserve much better than someone like him putting his paws on you." He wasn't the first one to tell me that. Far from it, but it sure made me feel a lot better. He smiled a little, "And maybe he'll think twice next time. Just never lose that yourself. No doubt, there are bound to be more like him with less than acceptable intentions in the future."

"Don't worry about me." I replied, leaning against the counter, "I won't. I can handle him."

"Good." He nodded, "So what brings you by?" Given his tone and smile, he knew exactly why I was there. I looked down with a shrug.

"Maybe I was just bored." I muttered defensively, "Or maybe I had to buy something."

"I see." He chuckled, "Well, don't let me distract you."

"You're not distracting me." I shrugged again, but the opposite was true. He was very distracting, but not in a way he could help.

That light argument continued on the entire time I was there, it being brought up at random times during our discussion. Unfortunately, I could only spend a couple of hours there before it started to get dark, and he insisted I get going. I put up such a fight that he gave in, and just walked me back home when it was time for closing.

I felt so bad about that, but not bad enough to regret that decision.

Until I returned the next afternoon. I felt like something he couldn't shake off, but he didn't seem to mind it. Just as nice to me as he was before.

I passed my time every day for a solid month by spending every second of free time I had either waiting for Mikah to get to work, or with him.

Of course, I had to spend some time with Alyssa too, but most of the time, she didn't mind spending our time at the store or at the park right near home, which we'd gotten into the habit of doing recently. She and I chatted about how school was going for her, and if I'd ever be going back. I didn't know the answer to that, since I hadn't been sent back yet.

Mikah, however, was always glad to see me. Maybe he was just being nice, but I sure didn't care. I'd take whatever time he was willing to give. I saw him every chance I could, and though I did partially wonder if I was being too clingy, I didn't let that stop me. I liked this feeling too much to stop seeing him.

My family always knew I was running off to spend time with Mikah, the much older brother of my friend, but the teasing died down. Almost like they were encouraging it. They must have trusted Mikah to keep me safe more than I realized before. The teasing had died down, but I didn't miss the knowing looks and smiles.

It worried me, though, how much I loved spending time with him. How happy it made me, and how easy it was to tell him things, but I couldn't help it. He was so open, and it was very easy to read his emotions in his kind eyes. When he asked a question, it was never out of boredom. He was honestly always interested in what answer I had to give him.

Somehow, that made him more important to me.

I was never depressed, or down while I was with him. He made it impossible without even making an effort. All he had to do was smile, in the way that he does, and I'd return it. The things he'd say would instantly grab my entire focus, and as weird as it sounded, he was my new hobby. Like a whole new distraction from my overworked mind. Almost a relief, like breathing when I hadn't in awhile.

It got to the point where I was thinking about him while I was home, until I could see him again. I tried to stop that, because it worried me how often he was on my mind, but I couldn't. Thinking about him was something I did automatically now, and I'd smile every time. There was just something so incredibly fascinating about him, I really couldn't help it. I didn't care.

I didn't understand how a person could possibly be addicting, but I was starting to see it. I'd have a not-so-good night, and the next day, I'd forget all about it the second I saw him. If I couldn't see him one day, I stayed longer with him the next day. It didn't take long after I realized that, for me to understand that I needed him.

Jasper was concerned again, though, and tried to talk me out of seeing him so much. He was worried about me somehow getting hurt. I knew Mikah would never hurt me, so his concern was stupid.

It sucked so bad that he had days off. Probably not for him, but for me. I couldn't find him where I usually found him. This particular day off, though, he spent most of the day with Alyssa and I. Leading us through this part of the city to get some pizza for lunch.

It was a nice little place not far from where he worked, so it really wasn't like he was leading me too far away. Of course with permission from Esme, I tagged along with them.

"So.." Alyssa spoke up once we'd found our seats and gotten our drinks, "Is this like a date?"

"No." I replied, and she laughed, "It's not."

"Sure it is." Mikah replied, "Every day is a date. Yesterday, it was January twenty-ninth. Today, it's-"

"You know what I mean." She laughed, throwing her straw wrapper at him.

"Oh, then in that regard, no." He chuckled, "It's not. Can't I treat you two without it turning into that?" He laughed, so he wasn't upset.

"I don't know.." She mused, "What's your angle?" I finally had to laugh as well.

"She really wants you to find a girlfriend." I told him, reaching forward and flicking the side of the soda pitcher sitting on the table. I liked to watch the big bubbles race to the top.

"I know." He replied, "But she knows that it doesn't work like that."

"Stop doing that." Alyssa muttered, and I looked over, "You're gonna make it go flat." I flicked the pitcher one more time, and she reached over, grabbing my wrist with a laugh.

"Don't make me hit you too." I warned, laughing along with her.

Naturally, a slap fight resulted. Not hard slaps, but little ones. Harmless ones, until she somehow managed to topple over, out of her chair and landing on her back on the floor. Probably from leaning back too much.

"I didn't do that." I immediately said, looking to Mikah.

"There's gum under the table." Alyssa muttered, climbing back into her chair.

"Remind me why I take you two anywhere in public?" Mikah asked, having just watched the whole thing.

"Because you like us so much." Alyssa replied confidently.

"Oh. Right." He nodded a little, watching as I extended my hand again and flicked the pitcher once more. Just to make a point.

"That's it." She stated, leaping from her chair and knocking me from mine. I landed on my back this time, but in my quest to quickly right myself, I wound up hitting my head on the edge of the table. Rattling the glasses and wrapped silverware on the table top. Alyssa, of course, laughed, and I did too, but it still hurt.

"Oh, geez." Mikah sighed from his seat, "Okay, which one has been concussed?"

Getting his answer, Alyssa stood up first, victorious as she sat back down. I followed soon after, my palm pressed against the top of my head. I found my seat and before she could laugh at me too much, I reached over and shoved her head down. Hitting her forehead on the table. Rattling everything again.

"Ow!" She was laughing, though, so I wasn't worried about having offended her.

"Come on, guys." Mikah chuckled, "Enough, or no ice cream after this."

"I got even." I replied, "I'm good."

Mikah insisted we leave soon enough anyway, as a particular piece of pizza crust became a projectile. Thrown back and forth until it hit the window beside me.

Surprisingly, Mikah still led us to get ice cream, even though we both acted like little monsters. Unfortunately, the whole place was packed. Making me very uncomfortable. It wasn't exactly the way I felt before starting school, but having this many people around me made it difficult to breathe.

"You okay?" Mikah had noticed, which wasn't hard to do. I was practically stuck against his side, while Alyssa was more in the mood to migrate.

"She's always like that." Alyssa informed him from where she stood inspecting two people in line behind us, "Having lots of people around her freaks her out. You should have seen her during a school assembly."

Mikah looked down at me, "We can pick another place if you want."

"Aw." Alyssa whined, "But this is the only place around with the good cones."

"No." I mumbled, "It's okay."

"Just don't pay attention to them." Mikah suggested, "Ignore them."

"I've tried." I replied, "It doesn't work so well." I could even close my eyes, and I'd still know they were there. Closing my eyes would just make it worse.

"Here." He said, reaching into his pocket, "I've got an idea. I've read somewhere that this sometimes works for anxiety." He produced a small pack of gum. He handed me a piece, and I gave him a look. How the hell was this supposed to work? What was I supposed to do? Throw it at somebody?

"Can I have one?" Alyssa was suddenly there, and Mikah chuckled, handing her a piece as well. I shrugged a little, and unwrapped mine.

Surprisingly, it did help. It was either chewing the gum, or the way he held my hand. Maybe a mix a both, but I survived the line a mile long, and we made it to the front. I almost didn't want to let go of his hand, but I figured he'd only done it to get me that far without snapping and killing the squalling five year old kid three people in line behind us.

"Patience." He muttered to me on our way toward the door.

"Is something I don't have." I muttered back.

There was no way I was sitting in that crowded place, but thankfully, Alyssa wanted to leave as well. She got what she wanted, and it was portable, so we could eat without me launching mine straight at that five year old.

"So." Mikah spoke up as we slowly walked along the sidewalk, "Now what?"

"No idea." I replied.

"We could go back to our house." Alyssa suggested.

"I'm not allowed to go over there without my brothers." I reminded her.

"Why?" She asked, "It's not like having them there stops him from saying stuff." I hated to admit it, but she was right.

"Maybe so they can be there to knock him out?"

"They haven't yet." She pointed out, "Come on."

"Don't pressure her." Mikah spoke up, "She was told not to go over there without them, and she doesn't want to break that rule. Leave it at that."

Alyssa pouted, "Fine."

I looked up at him gratefully, and he smiled a little.

We wound up at the park just outside our house. I appreciated that, being so close to where I lived. Alyssa was busy trying to swing high enough to flip over the top bar, but I doubted she could do that. That didn't stop her from trying, though. It was really interesting to watch. It didn't do any good for Mikah to tell her to cut it out, as she just kept on doing it.

"She'll learn when she breaks her neck." I muttered, and he sighed.

"That's what I'm trying to avoid." He pointed out.

"She'll be fine." I laughed a little, sitting down in the sand, "You're such a mom."

"Hey." He chuckled, sitting beside me, "Someone's gotta be." It was colder here in the shade of the trees, but I didn't mind that too much.

"Higher." I called to Alyssa, "Come on. You can do it." I got a laugh from her in response.

"I'm trying." She called.

"Stop it." Mikah called back to her. She ignored that. I shook my head, looking over at him.

"She probably does that all the time." I said, "Tries to, anyway. She's not dead yet."

"I'd like to keep it that way." He replied. He looked over at me, "Why aren't you over there competing with her?"

"I don't do stuff like that." I answered, shrugging a little. Which was true. Now and then, I might act my age, but when it came to normal things kids did, I wasn't like them.

"You mean play?" He asked.

"Yeah, that." I replied, "I just don't want to."

"You're kidding." He muttered, and I looked over, "What kid doesn't play?"

"Me." I answered simply.

"Why not?" He asked, "Playing, having fun. It's what being a kid is all about."

"I have plenty of fun." I countered, "I'm having plenty of fun just sitting here." I patted the sand beside me.

"The last time I saw you even run was back in December." He pointed out, "And that was from a snowball. You're ten, kid. Not thirty."

"So?" I asked, "Not all kids are the same."

"I've got a new goal." He said, standing up, "You're gonna play."

"I am?" I laughed a little, eyeing the hand he offered.

"Come on." He muttered, "Just a few pushes on the swing."

"I don't want to, though."

"Then just stand with me." He suggested, and as suspicious as I was, I took his hand. Standing up, but the second I did, he scooped me up. The noise I made had Alyssa laughing, and as much as I hated being picked up suddenly, I couldn't help laughing as well.

Sitting me upright on the empty swing, he pushed me before I could stand back up. Unfortunately, I was laughing too hard to really make an effort to stop.

"You're so pushy." I told him.

"Isn't he?" Alyssa agreed from beside me.

"I've been on a swing before." I laughed, "I know what it's like."

"Then swing." He replied, pushing me again before I slowed too much, "Do stuff a normal kid would do."

"I'm not normal." I countered, "I thought you knew this."

"You're normal." He argued, "You just don't want to be."

"This is dumb."

"I could always push you down the slide." He shrugged, stepping around until he was standing next to me once I was swinging high enough for his taste.

"Oh, come on!" I laughed, picturing that, "I thought that was illegal on the playground."

"It is." He chuckled, "Swing, so I don't have to break the rules."

"Meanie." I grumbled, but decided to just humor him. Trying to kick him on my forward swing.

"There you go." He grinned, catching on, "Use me as a target." I laughed again, stretching my leg as far as I could. Unable to kick him. It was very childish, but that didn't change anything.

The higher I went, the further I was from kicking him. Which I was partially grateful for, because had I been successful, I probably would have felt really bad. He stayed well away from my swinging foot, though. His grin, unfortunately, as contagious as it always was as he encouraged me to kick him in the face.

Needless to say, Alyssa didn't succeed. She got just high enough to make Mikah stop her swing, much to her displeasure. I wasn't brave enough to go that high, and eagerly stopped myself to stand the second I could, but it wasn't so bad, to be honest. Until Alyssa made it a game to turn in circles on the swing, then sit down to spin really fast. That stopped when we ran into each other.

When it started to get dark, I didn't want to go home yet, but I knew he had to get Alyssa home, as she had school the next day. They both walked me up the hill to the backyard, and Mikah helped me climb over the wall. Catching me when I nearly fell backwards, still slightly dizzy from spinning on the swings.

"See?" He said as I dropped down off the wall, landing safely in the yard, "I knew you weren't allergic to having fun."

"Okay, okay." I muttered, "You were right."

"I knew I was." He laughed, "I'll open your eyes soon enough."

"Why does it matter so much?" I asked, giving a quiet laugh of my own.

"Because you deserve to be happy, princess." He replied easily, "If you live your life like you're only in it to get by, think about how much you're missing out on." I honestly had never thought of it like that before.

"Something to think about." He told me with a soft smile, knowing by my silence that he had a definite point. He gave me a nod, "Good night."

"Night, guys." I murmured, still stunned, and Alyssa grinned.

"Night." She replied as Mikah reached over, taking her hand. They turned, and I stood there for a minute, watching after them. Halfway down the hill, Alyssa apparently decided she didn't want to walk anymore, and hopped onto his back and he carried her the way Emmett always carried me.

"Okay." Emmett's voice behind me on the porch startled me a little, "I really like him, and dammit, Jasper wasn't around to hear that."

"It's okay." I replied, "I heard it. That's what matters, right?"

"Right." He chuckled. I turned, heading up the steps onto the porch, "So I take it you had a good day?"

"Yeah." I nodded a little, "I always do."

"I think he's good for you." He added, "An awesome influence. Since he can say everything we've been saying all along, and you actually listen to him."

"He says it in a different way." I pointed out. He allowed that with a small shrug.

Before I even knew it, January had passed and half of February had followed. I was actually nervous seeing Mikah this time. I wasn't afraid, but nervous. That wasn't going to stop me, but it did make me wonder. He seemed fine, just like he always was.

"So." Mikah said as soon as the most recent customer left, "Doesn't your family mind how I've stolen you?"

I smiled a little, "Not really. I mean, they've never told me to stay put."

"I'd miss you." He said, "Especially with how close you are to them. That's another thing I've noticed about you. The way you talk about them, it really makes it seem like.. I don't know, like they're saints or something."

"Is that weird?" I asked, wincing a little.

"Not at all." He assured me, "It just really makes me want to know them more. They seem really interesting."

"There's definitely more to them than I've said." I admitted, shrugging a little.

"I'm gathering that." He replied, smiling a little, until it faded, "I've been pretty curious, Leandra. Where do you come from?"

"Washington." I answered immediately.

"That isn't what I mean." He shook his head a little, "Your story is bigger than you're letting on."

I knew what he meant. Normally, this kind of subject was off limits. He'd never expressly asked about it before. Conversation with him was always light, and rarely strayed this serious direction. Somehow, that didn't stop me from wanting to answer him.

I hesitated just a moment, "Let's just say.." I paused, "I know how bad Alyssa was hurting."

"You were beaten? Like her?" He asked, and I knew that bothered him.

"It wasn't exactly the same." I replied, "Alyssa and you were beaten because your mom couldn't keep her temper." He gave me a nod, still clearly upset by the thought, "I was beaten for fun. Because I'd been born." I could see it. There in his eyes, his emotions changed rapidly. Shock, confusion and anger, and back to shock.

"That's horrible." He murmured.

"Every day." I mumbled, "Well, unless I was too sore to move already. Then he'd just smack me somewhere I was already bruised or something. I wanted to help Alyssa, because I know what it's like to be bruised over ninety percent of me, and I know how bad it hurts to have to move while bruised black. I didn't want to see hers get that bad. I didn't want to see hers get any worse. I just couldn't ignore it."

"And that was your stepdad?" He asked, leaning on the counter.

"My stepdad." I nodded, "I guess I owe him." I kept my eyes down as I slowly paced the length of the counter, "If it weren't for him, and what he'd do, I wouldn't be with my family right now. I owe my family my life."

"Wow." He murmured, and I glanced up, "That really is amazing." I could tell he meant every word, "That they'd help you."

"Especially when they really didn't have to." I added, "I've got to be the luckiest kid in the world."

He sighed, "How can anyone so horrible exist in the world?"

I hesitated. What could it hurt to admit it now? "You've actually talked to him before."

"Who?" He asked, "Your stepdad?" I nodded. He frowned in confusion.

"Remember that day? When I ran out?" Understanding came to his eyes, "It wasn't because Carlisle called me. The guy that came in.. That was him. I knew he had been around for awhile. I just didn't expect to see him."

"So wait." His tone was firmer now, "You're telling me that.. With all he's done to you, he's not in jail?"

"He's good at not getting caught." I admitted, and he sighed heavily. For once, I couldn't tell what he was feeling. His eyes were down, and he slowly shook his head. What would he say to that?

"You should have said something." He finally told me, "I could have done something." That wasn't what I expected. He sounded almost mad, but I knew it wasn't at me. I was good at telling that by now.

"Trust me." I replied, "There was nothing you could have done."

"I could have tried." He said, shaking his head. I forced a smile.

"Thanks, but I wouldn't want you getting hurt because of me." I told him, "He's a dangerous guy." Just how much, he didn't even know.

"I'm used to that." I frowned a little at his reply, "I think I could handle him."

What did that mean?

"I wouldn't want you to try." I admitted again.

"And hold on." He wasn't eased, "He's been around?" I nodded a little, "Why?"

"Long story short," I sighed, "To get back at me for telling on him and ruining his life." That really stunned him, given the way he turned a little. Dropping that weight on him was something I really didn't want to do.

"That certainly explains how protective your family is." He mumbled quietly. I nodded again.

"I didn't know he was around the night Alyssa spent the night." I explained, "But the others did. That's why they were so mad about us running off." He nodded as well, understanding now.

"And that day," He prompted, "You came here by yourself, knowing he was around?"

"I didn't know he was _that_ close." I argued, "For all I knew, he could have been halfway across the city somewhere." He allowed that, "But it meant a lot to me. I was willing to risk coming here to talk to you. It was important to me."

"It was still dangerous, Leandra." He told me, "You shouldn't have risked it like that. You shouldn't be risking it right now."

"He's back home already." I replied, "He's not around anymore."

"How do you know?" He asked, and that was something I couldn't tell him. Not because I didn't want to, but because it wasn't my explanation to give. He continued, "You don't know that for sure."

"Just don't try, okay?" I asked, "Please?"

"I know what he looks like now." He told me, "If I see him again, no guarantees, princess."

At his insistence, though, I left before it got too dark outside. He hugged me goodbye, and told me he'd be watching from the corner until I got to the park. I didn't want to let him go this time. Like I was afraid of having to survive the night without talking to him.

I had to ask myself. Why was I so nervous about leaving his side? Sure, I dreaded it every time I had to leave him, but today was worse. I didn't want to.

"Be careful." I told him, and he frowned a little, before he smiled.

"Don't worry about me, princess." He replied, "I'll be alright."

With that, I went home. I got inside the house, sighing tiredly as I landed on the couch beside Emmett. Who seemed particularly bored that night. The TV on some movie channel, showing some action movie. Stuff getting blown up, car chases, and everything.

"Where is everybody?" I asked Emmett, leaning against him.

"Hunting." He answered, boredom in his tone, "They'll be back before morning."

"You didn't go with them?"

"And let you burn down the house?" He asked in return, chuckling a little.

"I'll probably be going to bed soon anyway." I muttered, as if on cue, yawning.

As it turned out, I didn't even make it to bed. I fell asleep right there on the couch with him, and he didn't seem to mind. Leaning against his arm, I didn't get the best nights sleep. If I slept at all.

I should have gotten up the first time I woke up, but I didn't. I didn't want to move, or be alone, which was a change. That hadn't happened in awhile. There for awhile, I could almost consider myself normal.

I woke the next morning to the family returning before dawn. Emmett hadn't even moved.

"Has she even been to bed?" Carlisle seemed unhappy at my apparent all-nighter.

"Nope." Emmett answered as I fell to the side, stretching deeply, "I would have been lonely, and so completely lost without her snoring."

"Ow." I yawned a gasp, immediately lessening my stretching, "Leg cramp. Ow, ow." Carlisle shook his head.

"After breakfast, Leandra, I want you to go upstairs and get some rest." Carlisle told me, and I nodded, in the middle of another stretch. Esme, also unhappy, walked away. Toward the kitchen.

I snoozed for just a bit longer, laying across the couch, until Emmett stood up and pulled me up with him. Carrying me over his shoulder. I was getting used to being carried this way. He paused, sitting me upright at the table.

"Special delivery." Emmett told Esme, "She's a little less than awake, but that's okay, right?" I rubbed my eyes, trying to wake up. It was incredibly hard to even keep my eyes open. They burned with how tired they were.

"I'm too tired to eat." I mumbled, looking up at him.

"Next time, I'll take you hunting for breakfast." He told me, "I'll catch you a squirrel or something. It'll keep you awake when it fights back."

"Ew." I muttered, crinkling my nose.

"What? No blood for you?" He smirked, and I crinkled my nose again, shaking my head.

"No thanks." I muttered, "Not yet."

"That's right." He grinned, sitting beside me, "You've had blood before."

"Yes, sir." I mumbled lightly. I knew he was referring to the vision, so it didn't bother me to answer. I didn't mind answering what I could.

"How old were you again?" He asked, interested.

"Seventeen." I replied, and he smiled a little before laughing in confusion.

"So you're telling me, that the entire dream, you'd never once felt like it was a vision?" He asked, and I shrugged. I'd never been asked that before.

"Well.." I murmured, "From what I can remember, no. It felt so real to me. It was real to me, except that I was actually asleep on my bedroom floor."

"What were you like as a seventeen year old?"

"There isn't much I remember." I told him honestly, "Not about that time, because I was so different, but.." I paused, thinking. He waited patiently as I did my best to recall, "I was protective. Of not just you, but.." I frowned, "Someone else too. There was someone else."

"Ooh, did you have a mate?" He grinned, and I thought about it.

"No, I don't think that was it." I said, "But this person was important to me. More important than anything or anyone else." The more I struggled to see, just like with every time before, my head started to hurt. In a different way this time, "I hate how I would have done anything for them, but I can't even see who it was."

"It'll come to you, shorty." He assured me. I couldn't help but keep trying though.

"Mikah was there." I mumbled without even thinking, and that caught his attention. It caught my attention too, because I was suddenly so sure of it, "Mikah was there." I looked to him, with a frown, speaking again, "He was there, but.."

"I thought you said you never came with us when we left?" Emmett asked, confused.

"I didn't." I said, "He wasn't there until.." I trailed off. I ignored the now severe ache in my head, "He was there, but he wasn't human."

I was pushing myself too hard, but I had to see this stuff. At least regarding Mikah. I couldn't see absolutely anything else, but his face. I knew he was there, though it was really only a glimpse. A hint or two.

I was shocked, surprised as I started to cry. Emotions from the vision coming forward, at least from what I remembered of seeing Mikah. It was too far ahead in the vision, further ahead than I was meant to see yet, but he was there. That's why I hadn't realized yet how I'd seen him before.

I suddenly deeply missed him.

"He was there." I murmured through a sob, "I don't know why, but I do know that he wasn't human."

"He was a vampire?" Emmett asked, and I nodded. Tears trailing softly down my cheeks. I gasped a quiet sob, shaking my head. Trying to control my emotions again, "Why are you crying?"

"I want to remember more." I bawled, deeply frustrated, "But I can't." It wasn't a rare thing for me to cry more when I was tired. The more exhausted I was, the worse my emotion got, but it was rare for me to cry much at all anymore. Especially while talking or even thinking about Mikah.

"It's okay, shorty." He seemed upset that he'd upset me, "Breathe." I wasn't mad, so I allowed him to tell me that. I wasn't mad, but frustrated, and the only way to describe it was heartbroken. I desperately wanted to see more, but it was too far ahead. I couldn't see anything but Mikah, and feel the emotions I felt. It hurt so much, and not just physically.

Just like with the Cullens in the beginning. Knowing I knew them from the vision I had, and remembering what it felt like to live with them. To be safe and protected.

I compared knowing Mikah was there, to how I felt knowing the Cullens were there. It was undeniable.

"He was with us." I said, looking to Emmett, "He was around. All the time."

"So he was here?" He asked, "In the family?" I sniffled hard, nodding before another round of sobs stole my breath. Why was this upsetting me so much? Maybe in the vision, I felt more for him than I did now? Maybe I knew him even better?

A brief memory from my time as a seventeen year old, told me he was there too. One bigger glimpse only upset me more. I saw him standing there, holding something in his arms and smiling at me. In that way that he does. He was happy. What was he holding? I pushed harder. I so suddenly had to know.

"Breathe, shorty. You're scaring me." Emmett sat straighter now, and Esme was suddenly at my other side. I paid zero attention to them, though. Forcing through the pain, now blinding, just to see what he was doing there in that memory. It was all that mattered to me now, to see what Mikah was holding.

I forced through the pain, holding my breath in an effort to control it, and I looked harder. Pushing forward against that memory. It hurt _so_ bad, both emotionally and physically, but I needed to. More started to come through, and I almost had my answer. I was so close, so close to seeing what it was, until my efforts suddenly stopped.

I didn't understand how Emmett was suddenly holding me, telling me to wake up. I heard him, I was awake, but I didn't want to be, so I let myself fall back to sleep. Why was I suddenly sleeping? I couldn't remember, and I found I didn't care.

"This is why we do not push her." Alice was upset. Why was she upset? "Her mind is young. She's young."

"She pushed herself." Emmett was defensive. Why was he defensive?

"You probably made that entire vision disappear." She was blaming him, "Do you know how much valuable information that could have had?"

"It's not his fault." Esme was the one holding me now, "He even asked her to back off. Please stop arguing."

"That vision could have helped us." Alice wasn't quite done yet.

"Shut up." I mumbled without opening my eyes, "You're loud."

"Leandra." Alice was suddenly right beside me, not at all concerned by my telling her to shut up, "You're awake."

"Not by choice." I mumbled with a frown, "Stop yelling at Emmett."

"Leandra, you've been unconscious all day." That made me open my eyes. I winced immediately, literally flinching back at the bright light in the living room. The lamps were on, meaning the daylight was gone. I turned my face into Esme's shoulder, not appreciating the renewed pounding in my head.

From what I could see in that brief and blurry glance, everyone was there. Carlisle stood beside the couch, Alice to Esme's left. Emmett, Jasper and Rosalie across the room.

"Ow." I mumbled, squeezing my eyes shut.

"You pushed yourself way too hard this morning, Leandra." Alice's voice was softer now, relief in her tone.

"So suddenly, it's not my fault?" Emmett was irritated.

"Please shut up." I grumbled, "You don't know how much this hurts." I honestly felt like throwing up, the pain swirling through my head radiated through my entire body, turning my stomach with it.

It was silent for a few minutes while I worked on opening my eyes. When I could, it was only for a second, and only because Rose had gone through, and turned off most of the lights. Leaving one dim one on in the corner. I glanced to her when I could, grateful.

I trembled, but I didn't know why. Probably a side-effect of the worst migraine I'd ever had in my life. I never thought this much pain was possible in a headache. It only took a few minutes of feeling this pain to make me regret waking up. I cried, though I knew it would only make it worse. I couldn't help the tears, though. It hurt so bad. For pain to be bad enough to make me cry was certainly something.

I'd learned recently that I actually had a high pain tolerance, which wasn't so surprising to find out, but just because I could tolerate a lot of pain at once didn't mean I disliked it any less. This was beyond anything I'd felt recently. Easily the worst headache I'd ever had by far.

I glanced over as Carlisle sat to my other side, looking over at him for a second until my eyes had to close again. It was only then that I realized my nose was bleeding again, the pressure I felt in my head probably too much. I felt the drop of blood sliding over my lip and instantly caught it before it could fall, covering my nose and mouth tightly. Worried now, but not about myself.

"Emmett." Carlisle spoke, "Go get a towel." He wasn't upset, surprisingly, and one glance to Jasper told me he was okay. Through the dizziness and pain, I had to consider the situation then.

He lost control at Bella's birthday party, because he wasn't prepared. Could it have been that he wasn't prepared, because I'd decided to distract him the second before she cut her finger?

My attention was taken by Carlisle moving a little closer, and pressing the towel over my nose. Moving that one thought to the back for now. Oddly enough, he didn't place any pressure over my nose or try to stop the bleeding, just holding it there to catch the blood that escaped. I reached a hand up, trying to hold it for him, but my hand trembled too much and I really couldn't have held it myself anyway.

"Breathe, honey." Esme reminded me as my eyes closed again.

"Breathing hurts." I sobbed, which was true. Deep breaths made the pain flare, and I didn't want that, "I've never felt like this before." Blinking tears from my eyes, I knew I needed to stop crying.

"You can't push yourself that hard, Leandra." Alice told me, "This is why. You can't handle it."

I tried to stop crying, but it was so hard. Carlisle moved, helping me sit upright, which was both harder and more painful for me to do. Supporting the back of my neck and making sure I stayed upright, but the temperature of his hand helped significantly. I hadn't even noticed how warm I was.

"Leandra, look at me." Carlisle requested, and I did. Looking over at him, holding his gaze as long as I could before I had to close my eyes again, "Where does it hurt the most?"

"Everywhere." I whimpered.

"Can you see?"

"It's kind of a little blurry." I admitted, "But it's better than it was when I first woke up."

It was silent for a few moments longer, and they could tell by the way my crying slowed that the pain was easing in intensity. My nose continued to bleed for a few minutes, but I wasn't feeling any more dizzy than I had been before it started. It felt, to me, like the pressure eased more the longer my nose bled, but even I knew that one would have nothing to do with the other, and it was more likely that sitting upright like I was was helping the most.

The more the pressure eased, the more I calmed down.

"Your blood pressure was way too high." Carlisle eventually told me quietly, "Whether that's what caused the migraine or if it was caused by the migraine, I don't know, but your blood pressure is what caused your nose to bleed." I nodded gently, leaving my eyes closed. I didn't want to risk opening them and making my head hurt worse again.

"I must ask you," Carlisle spoke again, "Not to try that again. Now that I know what can happen if you attempt seeing more than you're meant to see, I don't want you attempting it anymore."

"Edward was right." I mumbled behind the towel. It was like the more the pain lessened, the more dizzy and confused I got. I knew that would take awhile to shake off, but it bothered me.

"He was right." Carlisle confirmed, "Your physical boundaries are there for a reason. Don't push them again."

"I won't." I replied quietly. My head still hurt indescribably bad, but I could think. One or two thoughts at a time, but other than that, nothing.

"It's my fault we're here." I said, and by one glance, I knew Carlisle was confused.

"What do you mean, Leandra?" He asked, but I hesitated. The train of thought I had been on was gone. What had I been getting at? I frowned, trying to think through the dizziness, until I spoke again.

"Mikah." I mumbled.

"Don't you be trying to think about him." Emmett immediately said, "He's what got you into this mess."

"No." Unfortunately, I started to cry again.

"Don't cry." Carlisle told me, "Leandra, try not to cry." I couldn't help it. Thankfully, Jasper decided to help. Only a few tears managed to fall before I was calm again, but it was enough to restart the nosebleed. It was probably the sniffle I gave that did it, though.

"I want to see him." I mumbled, still behind the towel. Carlisle readjusted it, flipping it over, and that was enough to push Jasper back a step.

"You're not going anywhere, shorty." Emmett grumbled, "Geez, you were just practically in a coma for almost twelve hours, and you want to see him right now?"

"Yes." I replied tiredly.

"Get better first." He told me.

"Emmett's right." Carlisle sighed, shaking his head, "You're not going anywhere for some time, so please just try to relax."

"But-"

"Leandra." I shut up at his tone, but I sighed too.

I stayed quiet now, focusing on keeping my eyes shut, and keeping my breathing as calm as I could. It was silent around me as well, nobody having anything to say that they hadn't already said. Even after the bleeding stopped.

Just like with the bloody nose I'd gotten almost a year ago now, I had to stay sitting up for quite some time. I was allowed to lean back against Esme again, but I wouldn't open my eyes to look around, and while I rested them, I only managed to fall back to sleep. At first, that worried Carlisle, and I was quite irritated at being woken up, but I couldn't blame him. Especially since I'd spent the whole day out cold without being able to be woken up.

Over the course of the next two days, I slept almost continuously. Each time I woke up, my migraine was a little easier to bear, and I could think a little more clearly. While I slept, I didn't dream, thankfully. Stuck inside my mind for so long, it would have been torture if I'd had to dream, too.

Carlisle, of course, had been there the entire time. Checking on me periodically, but letting me rest. I was too tired now to really talk much, but I was given water and something light to eat whenever I was awake, before falling back to sleep for another six or seven hours straight.

Thursday morning was when I'd pushed myself too hard, and Sunday morning, I was finally awake long enough to eat something more filling. Though my migraine was gone, my head still felt sore. My mind ached in a strange way, and it was still a little difficult to really think or focus, but as the day went on, it became easier, and I started to feel more like myself.

Sitting up in my room, still quite tired and recovering, but I was upright, and I was awake. That was a definite plus. I sat watching the snow-globe again, something I hadn't gotten to do in a few days.

I never expected things to go so wrong so quickly.

"Leandra." I looked up at the call downstairs, "Come downstairs, please." It was Carlisle, and confused, I sat there for a moment. He sounded worried. There was no way I could have gotten into trouble, since I'd been here the whole time. He wouldn't be asking me to leave my room without a very good reason. Carefully, I left my room. I found it was pretty easy to move around now, compared to the other day.

Descending the stairs, I frowned as I saw Alyssa standing there, Esme closing the door behind her. Alyssa was crying, very clearly very upset. Instantly, I worried. For someone like Alyssa to cry at all was an odd thing for me to see.

"Hey." I mumbled, coming to stand beside her, "What's wrong?"

"I was wondering if you've seen Mikah?" She sniffled, "Like, at all within the last two days?" Surprised, I shook my head.

"What happened?" I asked, and she couldn't reply right away. Her tears were scaring me, "Is he okay?"

Carlisle offered for her to sit, which she accepted. I sat down beside her.

"What happened?" I asked again, "Is Mikah okay?"

"I don't know." She cried, shaking her head, "Nobody's seen him."

"What do you mean?" I had to ask. I felt like I couldn't breathe, and my mind was running around in panicked circles. Vaguely, I noticed Jasper and Alice both descend the stairs off to the side.

"He and Jonathan got into a fight." She explained tearfully, "Not just an argument, but Mikah hit him. He hit him, really hard."

"He did?" I asked, surprised. She nodded, "Why?"

"I don't know what it was about." She sniffled, "But it wasn't pretty. There was blood everywhere. Emily was crying, because she saw everything, so I made Alex take her upstairs while Sammy and me stayed."

I didn't know what to think. My silence prompted her to keep talking. Obviously still shaken up, it took her a few seconds before she spoke again. I partially understood where she was at emotionally. I'd been this upset before. Many times. Silence was best when it came to sorting out thoughts.

"I've never seen Mikah so mad before, telling Jon he was way out of line." She paused for a breath, "There was so much yelling and moving around.. I-I didn't know what to do, so I just stayed out of the way."

I nodded a little, "That was probably smart."

"I should have done more." She shook her head, "I should have tried to calm him down." Her tears tried to renew for a second, but I had a strong suspicion that Jasper was helping with that. She continued.

"B-But I stayed out of the way." She whimpered, "Sammy was busy trying to keep them apart, holding Jon back as much as he could and yelling at me to help him, but I was just.. I guess I was too scared to move. I yelled at them, but that didn't do much. I've never been so scared in my life. It was like.. I don't know. T-There was nothing I could do. Nothing worked, until dad came running in."

I could picture that. I'd probably be too scared to move too.

"So what happened then?" I asked.

"Dad came over, and pushed Sammy away." She answered, "He pushed Mikah back, and pushed Jon toward the front door. There was more yelling, Jon yelling at dad and dad yelling at Jon, but I couldn't see what was going on. I don't even remember what they were saying." She took a deep, shaky breath, "I tried to tell Mikah not to follow them, but he did anyway. Like he couldn't even hear me. I even tried to grab his hand, but he just shook me off."

_That_ was saying something. Mikah would never just ignore her like that unless he had a damn good reason.

"Dad took them both outside, but Sammy and me, we were too scared to follow." She went on, "Jon came back inside after a minute or two, and he hit Sammy, just for asking him what his problem was. I'm surprised he didn't break his nose. I tried to help Sammy, but he just pushed me away and went upstairs. I looked out the window, since I was still too scared to go outside."

Nervously, I looked up at Esme. The way Alyssa was explaining it, it sounded like everything had just come undone. Out of the blue, everyone had just lost it. Just a big mess of yelling and panic that she had absolutely no way of stopping.

"And Mikah?" I asked nervously, looking to Alyssa again.

"Dad made Mikah get in the truck, and he took him somewhere, but that's the last time I saw him."

"Are you sure?" Such a stupid thing to ask, but that was all my mind could come up with. She didn't even seem to notice how stupid that question was, though.

"I'm sure." She whimpered, "He never came back. I haven't seen him since they left. Dad came back later. After everyone was in bed, but not Mikah. I even waited up, because I thought he was going to come right in, but.." She whimpered, trailing off. She was hurting, and I couldn't blame her.

Instantly, I worried. Mikah and his dad had never gotten along. Mikah admitted that himself, and if Mikah was already upset about whatever he and Jon had fought about, so many things could have gone wrong.

"I'm sure he's fine." I mumbled anyway, glancing to Esme again. I didn't know how to comfort Alyssa. Not with how much that news scared me. I didn't know what to say to her.

"He's never been gone this long before." Alyssa's tears restarted, "I don't know what to do. Nobody is as worried as I am, and they won't do anything to find him. Alex is worried, yeah, but not like me. Sammy doesn't care, and Jon won't even talk about it. All I get when I ask about it is their bedroom door slammed in my face."

"I'm sure he'll turn up." I told her, "Maybe he's just.. I don't know.. Off somewhere, calming down."

"But he doesn't do that." She insisted, shaking her head, "He doesn't leave us for this long. I know him, Leandra. Probably better than any of us. This is not like him. He's never gone for longer than he has to be for work. He always comes home as soon as he can. Always."

I needed to calm down if I was going to help her.

"What do you think happened?" Thankfully, Alice spoke up. She could probably handle this a lot better than I could.

"I think my dad did something." The way she said that without a hint of doubt worried me.

"Like.. Hurt him?" I asked, and she nodded, "Why do you think that?"

"Because Mikah's always standing up for us when the older kids start picking on us or when dad starts yelling at us, and he's always the one that tells dad he's not doing enough. They're always getting into it."

She had to have been really worried to admit that right in front of everyone. I looked up at Esme once more, her worry probably mirroring mine. I had to take a several seconds to think. My mind was still recovering, and this news really didn't help.

"Have you looked through his things?" Jasper asked.

"Yeah." I agreed, "Maybe there's something there that'll tell you where he could have gone."

"Not yet." She sniffled, her eyes lightening, "Think he'll mind?"

"Well if he's gone, he's not around to care, is he?" I pointed out. She sniffled again, looking down.

Taking a breath, I looked out the window at the afternoon sunlit yard, knowing I'd be risking a lot going there alone. I couldn't take my brothers with me, but I wasn't willing to sit around and wait for evening. I stood up, "Let me get dressed, and I'll go with you."

"Leandra?" Alice asked, but I ignored her. She didn't flat out tell me not to go, so I looked to Esme.

She didn't tell me not to go either, so I dashed upstairs. As much as I could dash, anyway.

I had to take a few seconds just to stand there in my room, covering my face for the entire time I paused. I couldn't believe this. Not yet. I knew, however, that whether she needed me to or not, I had to stay strong for Alyssa. She was terrified enough for the both of us, and coming to me had obviously been a last resort. How was I supposed to do that, though, when this news scared me so bad?

"Leandra?" Carlisle had followed me. I looked back at him, seconds from tears, "I want you to be careful." I couldn't help it. Stepping forward, I hugged him. He returned it.

"Be careful when you go over there." He told me, "You've been through a lot in the last couple of days, and I don't want you to push yourself too much. Be careful how you approach them." I nodded a little, but couldn't speak yet, "Please. Choose your words carefully, because if I know you, you won't be thinking about their feelings." I wasn't quite sure what he meant by that, but I'd try to remember what he said.

With a deep breath, I held it in and forced myself to stop crying. One of the few times that'd ever worked. I let him go, and turned around. Once more in search of clothes. He'd left the room to let me change, so I threw on the first things I found, and my light jacket. I jogged back down the stairs.

"Be careful." Esme repeated Carlisle's earlier request, and I nodded.

We left through the back, and this time, our trip wasn't a leisurely one. We both slid down the hill on our hip, pushing ourselves up at the bottom, and running. Something had to be there. Some sort of hint, or clue as to where he'd go. I believed her wholeheartedly that this wasn't like him. Those kids were his life. There's no way he'd leave them without a word.

When we got to her house, I stepped inside ahead of her. My nervousness wasn't going to stop me this time. I wasn't stopping to wait.

Up the stairs, I found Jon standing in the doorway of the boys' room. Standing, leaning against the door frame, his back to the hallway. Completely ignoring Alyssa's hand attempting to stop me from moving for him, I went up to him, shoving him forward as hard as I could.

"Where's Mikah?" I demanded as soon as he turned around, surprised. He looked down at me, smirking.

"I don't know where the little shit ran off to." He told me, and I glared.

"Leandra." Alyssa was behind me, "Don't."

"You know." I barked up at him, "And you better start talking, or-"

"Or what?" He interrupted, standing straighter, "What are you going to do about it?" His tone suddenly intimidated me, and I couldn't think. I fell silent, despite how I wanted to keep talking, "That's what I thought."

I suddenly felt brave again, "You can't do anything to me."

"I will if you enforce that." He countered easily, "Keep talking, little bitch." I took a tiny, involuntary step back.

"Leandra, come on." Alyssa whimpered, "Please." I wanted to listen to her. I wanted to listen to my own head, telling me not to push it, but unfortunately for me, I couldn't.

"Where is he?" I demanded again, "What'd you and that psychopath dad of yours do to him?"

"Watch it." Jon was defensive of his father, "You better think hard, little girl, what you're accusing us of."

"I know exactly what I'm accusing you of." I replied sharply, "What'd he do to him? Where is Mikah?" Behind him, both Sammy and Alex's attention had been taken in the room. Sammy didn't seem so smug anymore, hearing me demanding answers. Sure enough, his face was bruised. Jon had really done a number on him.

"Jon?" He called, "What's she talking about?"

"Do you know where Mikah is?" Alex asked as well.

Jon wasn't pleased, "I'm losing my patience-"

"I don't care!" He took a sharp breath in, raising his hand as if to hit me, and though I did cringe, I didn't back down.

"You have three seconds to get the fuck out of my face."

"I dare you." I growled up at him, "My brothers would-" He cut me off with the hardest slap I'd gotten in a long time. The sound echoed through the ringing in my ears, just like I always remembered it doing. Among the echo, I heard both Alex and Alyssa's surprised and upset cries of protest.

The left side of my face erupted in pain, and I fell to the side. Squeezing my eyes shut against the dizziness, I struggled not to cry as I smelled blood. Taking slow, deep breaths through the pain. Alyssa kneeled beside me, and I couldn't help noticing how she did cry. Bringing my hand up, I wiped the blood from just under my nose. Dammit, I thought I was done bleeding from my nose.

With a pang of sadness, I perfectly recalled the day Mikah had had to help Alex with his own bloody nose. That just helped me. Made me more determined.

"I don't see your brothers here, you spoiled little shit." Jon snapped as I finally looked up at him, "This was their mistake for letting such a big mouth little brat loose without them around." He chuckled, and squatted down as I pushed myself up slightly, "Maybe that'll teach you not to fuck with the big boys."

I don't know what I was thinking. I obviously wasn't.

"That's it?" I forced a laugh, "Wow, I expected more than that from such a big boy." His eyebrows rose, and he smiled in a way I didn't like. He moved like he was going to grab me, but I flinched, so he stopped.

"Don't tempt me, kid." He warned me, shaking his head.

"Fuck you." I snapped this time, "You're pathetic." I received yet another slap. Harder this time, I fully fell over.

"Whoa." He chuckled, standing, "That was a good one." He shook out his hand, shaking his head as he laughed. Alyssa was in harder tears now, helping me sit up. I was dazed, dizzy as hell, but more pissed off than anything.

"What the hell, Jon?" Alex demanded this time, pushing passed him to kneel with me beside Alyssa. His eyes still on Jon, he glared, "Pick on someone your own size, asshole."

"I'm okay." I told them, but Alyssa shook her head. Sobbing.

"Any more questions?" Jon demanded of me, kneeling back down and grinning.

"Just one." I mumbled around blood over my lips. He waited, "Do you have life insurance?" That question seemed to confuse him, so I smiled, "You're going to need it the second my brothers find out about this." Once the last word was out, I spit my blood in his face. Only receiving an equally as hard backhand in response to that.

"Bitch."

That one was a little hard to recover from. I whimpered, unable to truly hide my tears this time as I turned my face into the dark carpet of the hall.

"That's what I thought." He told me, and turned. Descending the stairs.

"I'm so sorry." Alyssa whimpered, helping me as I struggled to sit up.

"Ouch." Alex mumbled, looking over my cheek.

"How bad is it?" I had to ask.

"Your brothers are going to lose their shit." He told me, and I winced. I looked up at Sammy standing in the doorway of their room, watching us in the hall. Taking a deep breath, trying to steel myself against whatever he was going to say.

"What do you want?" I snapped at him, unfortunately my voice trembled lightly.

He took a breath as well, "Bathroom's up the hall. You might want to clean yourself up a little." As if reminded, I reached up, touching the blood on my lip. I nodded a little, and he nodded as well. It seemed like he was going to leave me alone for right then. I sure wasn't complaining.

I was a mess. Three hits to the same cheek was more than enough to warrant the bruising across my face. Under the light pink of my swollen skin, a light green shade, darkening to a shade of deep purple towards the center of it announced the bruising already on its way.

"Shit." I whispered, shaking my head.

Twice, he'd hit the same spot, as there were only two clear impact spots. One closer to my upper cheek, right near my eye, the other a little lower. The backhand had been to the upper cheek area, as I clearly remembered feeling that one. If I didn't get a black eye from this, I'd be very surprised. So far, it looked like I was in the clear, but I wouldn't count on that the more my bruises developed.

I wiped the blood away, grateful for the fact that my nose didn't feel the need to keep bleeding. I knew the bruising was going to get darker. Probably before I even got home. There was no way they wouldn't see this.

I couldn't console Alyssa enough. She felt so horrible, so incredibly upset, but I honestly didn't blame her. I had a feeling it would take some time before she learned that she and her brother were two separate people. His actions had absolutely nothing to do with her.

I took my time, doing what I came here to do. Helping her and Alex look for any clues as to where Mikah might have gone, but with Jon's behavior, I wasn't expecting to find much.

We looked through every part of his space Alyssa could think of. Not finding anything at all. Thankfully, not finding anything he wouldn't want us to see. After our thorough search, we sat together on the side of Mikah's bed, thinking. What now? I could almost feel it. The way she was losing hope.

"I'm sure he'll come back." I offered, looking to her, "I know he'll come back. He has to."

"I can't help worrying so much." She sniffled, "He's all I got. I can't be strong like him without him." I hugged her, hoping that was enough to comfort her.

"I've got an idea." I mumbled, standing, "I'm going to go see about something." She nodded, accepting that, "Oh, and don't be surprised if Jon gets beat up, okay? Just in case. I don't know what they're gonna do about this." I gestured to my cheek. Again, she nodded. She didn't care about that, obviously.

As it turned out, I wasn't home for thirty seconds before both Emmett and Jasper saw me. I had taken three steps in the door when Jasper was suddenly there. Angry, given his expression as he took my chin in his hand, turning my face to the left to get a clearer view of my right cheek.

"I'm fine." I mumbled, but I knew better than to think he'd believe that. Emmett's attention was taken by that, and he was suddenly there, looking closer as well. The growl he gave worried me.

"Who?" Emmett demanded, and I knew better than to avoid answering. Instinct, maybe.

"Jon." I replied quietly, and that was it, "B-But I pissed him off." He heard no word of that. He strode passed me with another quiet, but equally as deadly growl. Jasper immediately followed him, not wasting a second.

Neither of them told me to stay put, so I thought it would be a good idea to follow. Maybe if I was there, they wouldn't tear him apart.

Thankfully, the sun had just dipped behind the buildings in town, because Emmett and Jasper weren't stopping to worry about that. I trailed quickly behind them as they strode through town, having to run to keep up.

To my surprise, though, it was Jasper that lifted me when I started to fall behind. Probably because Emmett was too angry to hold me without smashing me. Given the three dents in their solid wood front door from his knock, he wasn't worried about being careful. He was intensely pissed off, and I was actually happy he didn't try to hold me.

Once Jonathan opened the door, I knew it was over.

"Hello, fucker." Emmett's tone was dangerous.

Jon took one look around, until his eyes found my smug grin.

"I told you." I muttered.

Turning, he tried to run back into the house.

"Where are you going, you son-of-a-bitch?" Emmett caught his arm easily, wrestling with the door Jon tried to close. Nearly knocking it off its hinges in his haste, shoving it open once more.

Emmett growled again, following him into the house, and swiftly, he delivered the first punch to the side of his face. Jon fell to the side, but Emmett wasn't about to let him go that easily. Unfortunately, they'd moved out of sight, and I couldn't watch anymore.

"He's not going to kill him, is he?" I asked, suddenly worried as I looked to Jasper. Jasper turned, stepping back down the front steps. Slowly walking back toward the street, taking me with him. Probably to get away from the blood being spilled behind us.

"I hope not." Jasper sighed calmly, "That's a whole lot messier than just delivering punishment."

Emmett eventually came back out with a warning.

"Hit my baby sister again. Next time, I won't be so nice." Was all he growled to him, but the fact that he said something at all meant Jon was still alive, so Emmett had to have used some restraint. Which was a relief.

"What was that about them letting a big mouth little brat loose without them, Jon?" I called back at the still open door, and only got a groan in response, "That's what I fucking thought."

Plucking me from Jasper, Emmett swung me around and placed me on his back. Carrying me like a backpack again. I clung to him, glancing back as we started for home again.

"That was scary." I finally admitted to Emmett, "Remind me not to hit your baby sister." I was trying to ease his temper, but it didn't work this time. His glare stayed straight ahead.

I hadn't seen him this way before. This was so different from the normal, light-hearted Emmett I was so used to.

"Sammy was nice to me." I offered quietly as a plus side, "He didn't say anything to me or anything. Well, he did, but it was just to say I should clean the blood off my face-" He growled, cutting off my attempt. I bit my lip, cringing internally, "B-But in a nice way. He was nice about it. I think he felt bad."

"I don't want you going over there again. At least not alone. Not without me." He told me, and I was too surprised at his tone to speak at first, "I want to be there to deliver instant punishment if anything like that happens again. As in, crush every bone in his hand, then rip off his arm and promptly beat him to death with it." Wide eyed, I just nodded, but he continued, "I mean it, Leandra. Not ever."

"Okay." I replied quietly, "I won't." The fact that he used my name told me he wasn't playing around.

"I let it slide this time, thinking neither of them would be stupid enough to push it." He continued, "I thought they would take me seriously, but I think now they sure as hell will." I took a breath, looking down.

"Sammy did." I said again.

"In fact, you're not going anywhere without me." He said, ignoring that and I glanced, surprised over at Jasper. He gave me a look in return that assured me. He'd probably talk to Emmett for me.

"Okay." I mumbled, not wanting to argue and get him pissed at me. So, this was what protective Emmett was like. I hadn't gotten to see this side of him yet, and as scary as it was, I knew I was pretty damn safe right where I was. I'd seen hints, like Edward had mentioned, but never this angry. This protective.

I doubted he knew how much it meant to me that he'd act this way, just for me. I smiled a little. I'd always known he was protective of me, but proving it like that might have been a bit overboard, but I didn't care about that.

I hugged his neck tighter.

"Thank you." I mumbled, and he sighed.

"Any time." He replied, his tone calmer now.

"How bad did you hurt him?" I asked, peering over his shoulder, trying to see his expression. He smiled a little.

"I'll be surprised if Carlisle doesn't have to do some damage control." Emmett replied, "Like paying some medical bills. I'm pretty sure I literally broke his face. It'll be a long time before he decides to come anywhere near you again." I winced, imagining that.

"Ouch." I mumbled, cringing.

"He's lucky I didn't decide to shove his head up his ass." He grumbled.

"Think Carlisle will be mad at you?" I asked, frowning. I didn't want him to get into trouble for avenging me.

"Probably a little." He said, "But seeing that bruise, he'll get it. Nobody hurts you, shorty, and gets away with it. No way."

As he predicted, everyone else was less than pleased to see me this way. Alice wanted to go over there as well, but Esme wouldn't let her. Emmett had already done a number on him, but so far, there had been no complaining phone call.

I sat there later that night with Esme and Carlisle, an ice pack over my face.

"I barely cried." I muttered, wincing a little as talking hurt, "I probably shouldn't have kept pissing him off, but I couldn't just let him think he won."

"Leandra," Carlisle sighed, "What did I tell you?"

"I couldn't help it." I mumbled in reply, "He knows. I know he knows something about where Mikah is. Which reminds me." I looked to him, "Do you think you could track Mikah? Find out where he is?"

Carlisle sighed, "That would be rather difficult to do."

"Why?"

"If he was taken somewhere by vehicle, there are any number of places he could be." He explained, "Travelling that way covers a scent quite a bit to begin with, but with that same path crossed by numerous others? Not to mention how much the scent has faded by now. There might have been a chance had we known to trace his scent earlier, but.." He trailed off, and I sighed, "It's too late, Leandra. I'm sorry."

I didn't blame them, as it wasn't their fault, but it was disappointing.

"I know it." I mumbled, "Alyssa is sure, and so am I, that he wouldn't just leave them. Those kids were his life. He raised them himself, practically on his own, from the time they were born. There's no way he'd ever just up and leave them."

"And you're positive his father had something to do with it?"

"Mikah and his dad never got along." I answered, "He told me, Alyssa told me, and I've seen it. I think it's because Mikah was never like him, or they were just too different. I don't know, but I believe them." I sighed, "Jon knows, though. I'm sure of it. I just wish I knew what it was Mikah and Jon fought about. Whatever it was, it was bad enough to make Mikah hit him. I've never seen him mad enough to want to hit anybody, except for that night when Jon was trying to convince Sammy to, uh.."

I hesitated.

"Well, since that night." I muttered.

"What happened?" Carlisle asked and I sighed.

"Sammy wouldn't have even looked at me twice if it weren't for Jon." I explained, "The night Alyssa slept over, and we went back to her place. It was Jon that put the idea into Sammy's head, and that made Mikah really mad." I didn't miss the glance shared between Esme and Carlisle. I knew what they were thinking, but I refused to acknowledge it.

"He's always been too nice." I said, looking down. I fixed the towel over the ice pack carefully. I didn't want to look back up yet.

"I agree." Esme sighed, "He's had to have quite a bit of patience if he's raised those kids." I nodded.

"Their mom ignored them all, unless it was to beat them." I murmured, "Their dad was always working, or yelling at them." Her expression saddened, "The only attention they ever got was from Mikah, and he was only eleven when Emily was born. He made sure they were fed, and had clothes to wear. He took care of them, and taught them all he knew. I can't blame Alyssa for being so worried about him. He kept everybody together."

I sighed, shaking my head, "Wherever he is, I hope he's okay." I couldn't keep the emotion from escaping, "If he's hurt somewhere.." I trailed off, shaking my head again. Esme reached over, hugging me. It hurt, and she understood. It hurt worse than any stupid bruise. I didn't care about that.

Maybe this was what Jasper had meant about me possibly getting hurt. He wasn't talking about physically, though that was probably a worry of his too. He meant hurt emotionally, but I doubted he thought it would be like this. This way. Crush or not, I worried for my friend. Instead of making me happy, thinking about him now just hurt.

I looked over, watching as Alice entered the kitchen. She offered a small, sad smile and took the seat to my other side. I appreciated that more than she knew. She knew I was hurting too. Probably more than I should be for someone that much older than me, and definitely more than I should be for someone I always insisted was only a friend.

"It'll be okay." Alice told me, stealing me from Esme to hug me instead, "You'll see."

I didn't believe her. How could it be okay? It didn't feel like it would ever be okay again. It hurt too much for it to be okay. It ached too much. That just made me start to cry. It wasn't fair.

Much later that evening, after everything seemed to settle down, I laid in bed. Being so tough earlier couldn't last, and I really cried now. Not because I was hit, and my face hurt. I cried, worried about Mikah.

What could have happened to him that he was gone for this long? Where would he go, and why would he leave? Nobody could answer me, and they knew how worried I was.

If Alyssa was this worried, I had every reason to be worried too. She knew him better than anyone else on the planet, and she believed firmly that something happened to him.

All I wanted was to know that he was okay. All I needed was to know that he was alright, and that he'd come back.

I knew, I was fully aware, that I shouldn't be crying like this over just a friend. My heart was broken painfully, my emotion making it hard to breathe. Each time, renewing as I thought about him again.

Crying quietly into my pillow, I cried myself to sleep for the first time in some time.

**A/N: Aw. :( I miss him already.  
THANK YOU! To those reviews on the last chapter! :D YOU'RE AWESOME! AWESOME! EMOSEWA! :D**  
**Chapter Fourteen is still looking like the last one. :( Sadness! I was just getting comfortable in this one. It**** won't take too long, as it just needs a final go-over, but I can say that the fourteenth chapter is pretty.. Ridiculously long. I'm thinking it'll stay that way, unless I somehow decide to split it into another chapter, but I'm not sure yet. We shall see what happens.  
****Until Fourteen, my friends! :D**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

Being heartbroken was a strange emotion, and I was learning that.

It was the type of emotion that stuck like glue, clinging to me and filling the empty space in my stomach. A little like depression, but also very different. Sleeping didn't heal it, and it stayed around even after I sat up. Maybe even worse than what it was the night before.

It left a lump of emotion in my throat that wouldn't go away, threatening to reduce me to tears with every breath. What was worse, I physically felt like crap thanks to crying so much.

I'd slept deeply the night before, but too deeply. I woke with a headache. I knew this one was caused by emotion. Not near as painful as the migraine I had before, but it was painful. The kind that made my eyes hurt. I'd woken up feeling like this before, but not for awhile. My eyes sore, still puffy, and kind of sick to my stomach.

A shower did help. It gave me those few extra minutes to myself, and gave me something to focus on instead of the dull ache in my heart for a little while.

Once I was done, I went shuffling downstairs. Keeping my eyes only partially open most of the way, just to prevent running into anything as I sat down next to Emmett.

"What's wrong?" He asked, seeing my discomfort.

"Headache." I mumbled, not appreciating the sound of my own voice. That had stuck around, and it felt like moving too quick only made it worse.

"I hope that fuckwad didn't give you a concussion or something."

"No." I mumbled, sniffling and frowning, "I've been hit way harder than that before."

"In the head?" He asked, and I sighed.

"A few times." I mumbled, "Just not in awhile, I guess."

"How hard did he hit you?" Emmett asked incredulously.

"He used effort." I allowed, and shrugged a little, "My headache's already starting to go away, so don't worry. I think I just slept more than I'm used to."

"Just let me know if it starts hurting again." Emmett said, "I'll be happy to go hunt that fucker down again."

"I've never heard you cuss so much." I commented, yawning. Looking around briefly, "Where's Esme?"

"She and Carlisle had to go see someone." Emmett replied, "Carlisle got a call yesterday, and they figured it would be better to talk to them in person." He seemed reluctant to tell me much, and I frowned a little, "They'll be back soon."

"It's not about Jonathan, is it?"

"No." He said immediately, "No, don't worry about that." I nodded, believing him. I sniffled again, sadness tugging at my heart yet again. I whimpered, keeping my eyes down. The sound gaining his attention.

"Cheer up, shorty." Emmett murmured, hugging me into his side. I sniffled, fighting off the tears that wanted to fall. It hurt.

"You know you can talk to us." He offered, looking down at me.

"It was different with him." I admitted quietly, "I don't know why. It just was."

"He's not dead, shorty." He reminded me, "Just missing. He'll show up. Watch, and you'll see. You'll feel so silly for sitting around all bummed out." He reached over taking my chin and having me look up at him. My bruise must have gotten worse, so I looked down once more. I didn't want him to get mad again. Truth was, I hardly felt it anymore. The emotion I felt swallowed the physical pain whole.

"I miss him." I whimpered quietly.

"I know you do." He replied, "You'll be okay, though."

"It doesn't feel like it."

"You will." He assured me.

I didn't believe him, but I did appreciate his attempts. I knew it was stupid to feel like this, but that didn't stop it, and it made it easier knowing Emmett didn't think I was being stupid. He just let me cry on him.

By the time Carlisle and Esme returned, I wasn't feeling much better.

"How did it go?" Emmett asked.

"Later." Carlisle sighed, and the way Emmett squeezed me tighter to his side made me glance up at him. Shaking his head, Carlisle spoke again, "I have some calls to make."

Frowning, I watched him turn, "Carlisle?" He didn't pause. Continuing on for the office up the hall.

"Don't worry about it." Emmett told me.

"Any news?" Esme spoke up before I could ask about it.

"None." Emmett replied, and her expression softened as she looked to me.

"I'm sorry, sweetie." She sat to my other side.

"Where could he be?" I asked her, "It just doesn't make any sense to me. How could anyone hurt Mikah? Especially his dad. It's not fair."

"I can't answer that." She sighed, accepting my hug as I moved from Emmett's side to hers. It was subtle, almost unnoticeable, but she held me tighter than she usually did. She probably understood the way I felt, and it wasn't exactly unwelcome.

Unfortunately, I had no choice but to keep living. It was stupid to keep laying around whining. I took the day to mope, but after that, I forced myself to keep moving. I kept moving, but I carried the ache of missing him around with me.

The dull ache had lessened in intensity, but it was definitely still there. Like a bruise healing, or a wound trying to close. I didn't cry near as much anymore, despite wanting to. I couldn't lose the sense of emptiness.

I'd just gotten used to seeing him so often, and I now understood why Jasper was so concerned. I got it now. I'd counted on Mikah's company too much, and now that he was gone, I didn't exactly know what to do with myself. There was always the option of seeing Alyssa, but I had a feeling she didn't really want company.

So much time had gone by without me even noticing it. Almost two months had gone by since I last regained my freedom, and I had used it entirely on Mikah. Hardly stopping at all to think about how I was free again.

Jack was a subject nobody brought up anymore. At least not to me. His name was never spoken, Ken's either, and I knew they had been trying to keep me happy. To keep me from getting scared again. I knew, though, that Alice kept an eye in that area for any sign of what he was planning. Some sort of hint, finally taking my warnings seriously.

Without Mikah taking up every waking moment, I could get back to chores. So I did, but I was also pretty distracted. Waiting for the moment when Alyssa would show up and tell me he'd been found or had come home.

That never happened. I waited a week. My bruises faded significantly during that week, healing from the angry purple to a dull blue. I had to wonder, though. If I felt this bad, how badly was Alyssa hurting?

I did everything I could to keep busy, even choosing to do my chores slower, more carefully now. Esme didn't seem to mind letting me stay at the same task sometimes all day. She knew what I was doing, and didn't bother me.

What the hell was wrong with me, anyway? It was just some person. Vision or not. I didn't mope around this much when I had to leave Josh or Zack. However, no matter how hard I tried to talk myself out of it, I remained heartbroken. It wouldn't heal. A constant ache I couldn't shake off.

Time passed quicker after that first week, and March had arrived.

The second day of March, I took Emmett and Jasper with me that evening as I made my way through town. I'd been putting this off, hoping she would contact me first with good news, but since it hadn't happened yet, I had to go see her.

It was a silent trip, and though it was chilly out this evening, the clouds above us threatened rain. Thick and puffy, but it was too warm for snow. The first drop hit me, landing right on the end of my nose just as we got there.

Alex was the one to answer the door, sadness hidden in his tough expression. He didn't smile, only gestured that we come inside. I led Emmett in first, Jasper following him. One glance around told me that without Mikah, things were falling apart around here. The place looked like it hadn't been cleaned in two weeks, and Alex looked like he hadn't slept in just as long.

"Dad and Jon are at work." He told us quietly, "For about another hour and a half, so don't worry about them." I hadn't even given much thought to running into Jon, "Sammy hasn't come out of the room in three days, so I don't think you have to worry about him either. Aly is upstairs if you want to see her." I nodded sadly, "She's in her room."

"Thanks." I told him, and he forced a small smile, but it was so far from genuine.

I climbed the stairs almost hesitantly. How bad would it be? I pushed open their bedroom door, and I saw first hand how much something like this could effect someone.

On Mikah's bed, Alyssa sat half propped up on his pillows, holding a sleeping Emily draped across her stomach. I could tell in Alyssa's expression that she was so tired, and probably just got done crying herself. Probably for the thousandth time.

She looked up, gestured for me to wait.

Gently, she rolled Emily off of her, who rolled over and settled further onto the bed. Falling back to sleep as Alyssa slowly climbed off the bed.

She sighed, her expression so worn down it hurt me to see. Walking with me from the room, she quietly closed the door behind her. Just seeing her this way made me want to cry myself. The positive, happy girl I'd known was nowhere to be found in her run down expression, the aching look in her gray eyes.

"She finally stopped crying long enough to sleep." She told me quietly, "She misses him so much." She looked like she wasn't far from tears herself.

Sitting on the top step of the stairs, she looked down. I sat beside her. She was being so strong for the kids.

"No news?" I asked quietly, and she slowly shook her head. Well, at least they didn't get the news that he was dead somewhere, but I could easily see how that wouldn't be as relieving. As it was, he'd been gone for about two weeks.

Gently, I put my arm around her, and she took the offer. Leaning against me, laying her head on my shoulder, and started to cry. The sound of her tears made tears of my own come forward. It hurt me to see her hurting so much, without being able to help her this time.

Down the stairs, both Emmett and Jasper could see us. I met their eyes sadly, and given the way they met my eyes, they understood. A big part of this family was missing, and there was nothing I could do this time. I couldn't help her with this.

"Where is he?" Alyssa asked me, her tone so broken, "Where is my brother?" I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block my own tears from falling.

I didn't say anything to attempt to comfort her. She didn't need that. There was nothing I could say that would help. Not when something like this had happened. All I could do was be there. I hugged her tighter, knowing she needed someone to just be strong for her for a minute. I knew Sammy was useless. Jon and her father were the last people she wanted to see.

It was up to her to comfort Alex and Emily. That kind of weight would make her grow up. Everything Mikah was trying to avoid, but she would do it. She'd take over Mikah's role in their lives, as much as she could because she cared about her younger siblings. Once her hurt turned into a scar, she'd do it. She'd fill his role.

I looked up, watching as Alex slowly ascended the stairs toward us. Alyssa looked up also, lifting her head off my shoulder. Sitting to her other side, I watched as he hugged her to him now. To my slight confusion, I watched wordlessly as she leaned on him now.

And I saw it.

It wasn't just Alyssa who'd be growing up too fast. Alex was being the definition of solid for her, and I could see that this was nothing new. The sadness in his eyes was apparent, but he didn't cry. He didn't even seem tempted to cry.

For the briefest of seconds, I saw Mikah in him. Alex had obviously been learning from Mikah, and would pick up what slack he could. It helped, if only a little bit, to know that Alyssa wasn't alone. She hadn't been kidding when she said they were all pretty close, but I had a feeling this would bring them closer.

They'd be okay.

"Leandra." I looked over at Emmett's voice at the bottom of the stairs, "Come on. We have to go." His phone was out, and oddly enough, Jasper was already outside.

"But I just got here." I sniffled, frowning a little. It was very unlike him to rush me like this.

"Sorry, shorty." He said, "Something's come up at home. Let's go."

I looked to Alyssa, and she sniffled hard. Nodding.

"Go ahead." She said, "I'll be okay." I nodded as well, hugging her briefly. I hugged Alex too, just so he would know how much I admired him.

They didn't even let me walk. The second we left the house, Emmett picked me up. Walking at a fast pace, straight for home. I sensed the urgency, but when I asked, nobody answered.

I was still recovering from the emotion of Alyssa's house, so I could tell instantly the mood around here wasn't much better. Oddly, everyone was in the same room. Standing around the living room. Waiting on us to get back to complete the group.

Everyone, except for Alice. I looked around for her as Emmett set me back on my feet. Frowning, I couldn't find her. Maybe she was upstairs.

Not wanting to be in the way, I immediately sat down. Finding my usual place on the couch, I waited for someone to take pity on me and explain. Esme found the place beside me, and though I was confused, I really didn't want to ask. She seemed upset enough.

There was a certain type of depression settled around me, only adding to mine.

Sitting with Esme on the couch, she held me against her side, and I would glance up. I hated whatever it was that made her so sad. Esme should never be so sad. Everyone else seemed so down, too, but Esme was hurting. It made me want to cry for another reason other than Mikah for once. What was so wrong?

So I stayed with her. Letting her hold me, because I had to be honest, it did comfort me too. The TV stayed off now, which was very unlike Emmett. Carlisle stayed home, not leaving for his night job teaching, which was very unlike him. Jasper stayed with us, not leaving for his usual night time classes at the college or hiding away upstairs, and Rosalie sat with Emmett in the chair.

Everyone stayed in the same room, staying together now, which gave me the same sense of sadness I felt from Alyssa and Alex. How much they were hurting, and wanted to stick together.

For a hours, it was like this. Nobody moving, aside from Esme to stroke my hair. Nobody spoke, and I didn't want to break that silence. With Alice gone, I started to get nervous, though.

"Where is Alice?" I finally asked, "Why isn't she here?"

The second my voice made a sound, Rosalie stood up. Turning to leave.

"Sorry." I mumbled, watching her. I actually hadn't meant to piss her off this time. She headed right for the stairs, Emmett following her, and I felt horrible. Had something happened to Alice?

"She had to take care of something." Jasper murmured, and I knew not to ask what that something was. I really started to worry then. Did this have anything to do with Mikah? Or Jack? If it did, they'd tell me. Wouldn't they?

I didn't ask again. I laid my head back against Esme's shoulder, like Alyssa had done to me, and I started to cry. Whatever was wrong, it was something big, and it worried me. Nobody seemed irritated at me for crying. I had the worst feeling that if they could, they would too.

That night was one of the worst nights of sleep I'd gotten in awhile, and it lasted the entire next day. Deep into the next night when I fell asleep again. Alice had been gone almost two days now, and I didn't even know why. Too afraid to ask after Rosalie's reaction before.

However, I woke on the morning of the third day to find the mood had changed. I slowly descended the stairs, my bare feet not making a sound I could hear. All this tension was going to kill me if something wasn't different.

Nobody sat now. Everybody on their feet, discussing something that had my immediate attention. As half asleep as I had been before, just having woken up, I was wide awake now.

"Do you really think it'll be alright to go back?" Jasper asked, "So soon after leaving?"

"I believe we'll be just fine. We were hardly there at all." Carlisle replied, "I think it's what's best. Especially if Edward is coming home."

"Go back?" I asked curiously. I normally didn't interrupt, but my entire focus was wrapped around that answer, "Back home?" I didn't know what changed, but I couldn't breathe, waiting for a reply.

This emotion was so different from the heartbreak that had settled into place lately, and I suddenly felt more focused. Awake. Like I'd been less than alive these last two weeks, and the tension breaking suddenly broke away the heartbreak along with it, releasing my heart and letting it beat again.

"Well, we know shorty's vote." Emmett spoke up. Allowing a small smile. Overnight, something had changed. The mood had lightened, relief in their expressions. It was impossible not to feel it.

"Are we going back?" I asked, hesitantly hopeful as I carefully lowered one more step. I needed to know before I exploded.

Everyone waited, looking to Carlisle.

"Yes." He finally answered, "We're going back."

The abrupt change of my emotions made my head spin, but I didn't stop to focus on that.

"Today?" I asked, and he chuckled a little, "Right now?"

"I have a few things I need to take care of around here first, Leandra." He replied.

"As do you, I'm afraid." Jasper reminded me, and I thought for a second. Looking down, I realized he was right. The thought of leaving her behind deflated the excitement quite a bit, but I knew I couldn't just leave without saying something to Alyssa.

"You can visit." Jasper interpreted my emotions, "Now and then, we'll bring you to see her."

"But.." I muttered, "It won't be the same to her. Or me."

"I know." He replied, sighing, "But she'll understand." I hoped he was right.

"Why don't you go pack some essentials," Carlisle told me, "And you'll be the first to know when it's time to leave." I nodded and immediately turned. Heading up the stairs to pack.

"Just the essentials, Leandra." Esme repeated, "We'll come back for everything else later."

As sad as I was to have to leave Alyssa behind, my whole life was there. I'd been born in Forks, and lived my entire life under that nearly constantly cloudy sky. Up until six months before, I'd never lived anywhere else.

As crazy as it was, I couldn't wait to get back to getting rained on almost every day and hardly ever seeing the sun. I would leave the sunlight behind, and never miss it.

I grabbed whatever I could think to take, smashing it into my bag as fast as I could. Pajamas, jeans, shirts. Socks, underwear. My hairbrush, and my toothbrush. I shoved everything in the bag, not caring in the least about neatness or order. Sitting on the bag, I zipped it up, quickly got dressed, and dragged the bag to the stairs. Kicking it down, I followed with my snow-globe in my hand, and the stuffed turtle under my arm.

I kicked it down the second set of stairs, listening to it tumble down ahead of me.

"That was quick." Emmett commented, lifting it for me.

It was then that I learned Alice had taken Carlisle's car, so we only had two. Rosalie's and Emmett's. My bag was placed into the back of the jeep, so I gathered that I'd be riding with the guys, which I didn't mind at all.

Rose and Esme were going on their own, and I guess Rose wasn't as eager to stuff me into the back seat of her car this time. That was probably best with how hyped up I was. Esme was, no doubt, going with her to keep her company.

It took maybe a couple of hours before it was time to leave.

"Leandra?" Carlisle noticed my preoccupation. Standing in the front doorway of the house I'd been so eager to leave behind before, it was hard. I'd definitely learned a lot in this house, and it would always remain one of my favorites. As much as I'd gone through here, it would always have protected me.

"Come on." He urged gently, and I looked up at him briefly before nodding with a sigh.

Esme hugged me briefly in the front yard, and I knew they were going on ahead. I returned her hug, knowing full well I'd see her when we showed up, but I'd probably miss her the whole time we were travelling.

"Behave." She told me as I stepped back, looking up at her.

"No promises." I replied, and she smiled.

"I'll watch her, mom." Emmett called from where he stood situating the bags a little better in the very back of the jeep.

"I'm doomed." I joked, and he gave me a look.

"Don't make me babysit on you." He pointed at me, and I laughed. With a smile of her own, and a shake of her head, she hugged me again before turning. This trip was certainly going to be interesting.

Crammed into the back seat with Emmett, Carlisle and Jasper in the front seats, I was dreading our first stop. Nobody had mentioned it, but I knew full well where we were going first.

Outside Alyssa's place, we stopped, and for a moment, I just sat there. Trying to steel myself for this goodbye.

"We'll be right out here." Emmett told me, and the sunlight just passed the car told me he couldn't come with me. I nodded a little, taking a breath and climbing out. After today, they wouldn't have to worry so much about this.

To my relief, Alyssa was home. She opened the door, confused, until I hugged her. She returned it, but clearly didn't understand what it was for.

"What's going on?" She asked.

"We have to leave." I told her, pulling back, "We're going back." Her surprise was expected, and she glanced to the jeep parked across the street. I waited for her to say something, biting my lip.

"If I could stay, I would." Lie, but also partially true. I would miss her.

She had to take a minute. Unable to say anything at first. When she did, I could tell this was hard on her.

"I wish you didn't have to go." She admitted, and I heard the emotion in her voice, "But I get it." She sighed, "Come inside first. I want to give you something." I glanced back, and nobody seemed to rush me. Despite the darker tint, I could see them watching me. The discomfort I saw in Emmett's eyes, even from where I stood, told me he didn't trust me going inside alone.

"Just for a minute." She pressed, and I sighed. Nodding, I followed her inside. She led me up the stairs, and into her room. I watched her as she stepped forward to Mikah's bed.

"Mikah was going to give you this." She said, and I slowly crossed the room. Sitting beside her on his bed, "Before the fight that day with Jon. He'd mentioned a gift for you, as a sort of way to make up for all the birthdays he didn't get to be a part of so far, but I didn't think it was anything like this." That in itself was enough to make me want to cry.

Slowly, she reached over and pulled open the bedside drawer. Lifting out, and handing me a small box. Like the one she'd shown me that day, but a light purple color instead. I almost hesitantly raised the lid, looking in at the necklace.

"I know he'd still want you to have it." She told me, "Wherever he is."

I lifted out the delicate chain, the dark red flower pendant catching my eye instantly. The stones shined at me in a beautiful way, and I realized. The dark red was meant to represent my birthstone, which was the ruby. Over the dark red flower, was a line of white stones set into the shape of an 'L'.

"This was with it." She murmured, handing me a thin piece of paper. I unfolded it, looking at the words written on it. One sentence. Four words.

'I will do something.' Was all it said.

"I don't know what that means." She admitted quietly, "Do you?"

I couldn't breathe. So suddenly crying. A few deeply felt sobs escaping before I could stop them. Covering my mouth, I muffled them. I couldn't help it, and couldn't stop it.

"Leandra?" She asked, and I couldn't speak yet.

I had a feeling I did know. The last conversation I ever had with him, was about Jack. About how I should have said something the day Jack came into the store, so he could have done something. Could that be the reason he so suddenly took off? Could he have had his dad drop him off somewhere?

I couldn't help reminding myself. He never would have just left Alyssa without giving her some sort of explanation. Maybe he was going to, but got into the fight with Jon instead.

"I didn't find that until last night." She continued, no longer pressing, "It was hidden back behind the drawer here." She gestured to the bedside table drawer, "Meaning, he wanted to keep it safe. You made him happy, Leandra." I cried even more at those words, "I don't know how you did it, but you changed him. In a good way, don't worry, but he wasn't the same."

I honestly didn't know what to say to that. I just kept my eyes on the pendant. Watching it shake along with the rest of me with my left over sobs.

"And I lied." She said, and I looked up, "I lied when I said I didn't know what the fight was about. I heard the whole thing."

"What was it about?" I had to ask, sniffling.

"You." She replied quietly, "Jon was mad. He was mad that Sammy wasn't getting his way with you, telling Mikah all about how you kept leading him on, and that.. Well how you were nothing but a little slut that liked to cause trouble, after hitting him that night.

"Jon said something about Mikah having more of an opportunity to teach you a lesson about respect. Since, Jon said, you were too chicken to come back and face him, and how you liked Mikah so much." She paused as I looked down, "Jon wanted Mikah to be the one to stand up for Jon and Sammy, since Jon couldn't do it himself."

"That's when he hit him?"

"No." She said, "Jon told him to make it a good lesson, since he loved you so much." I shuddered, knowing what that meant. Mikah would never do anything like that. I knew that for a fact, "He hit him after Jon called you Mikah's new little whore."

I bit my lip, keeping my eyes down. Mikah was defending me. That's what started the fight.

"I'm sorry." I finally cried, looking over at her. Her expression softened significantly.

"I don't blame you, Leandra." She said, and I heard the truth in her voice, "I don't. I never did. That's just Mikah. I'd have been surprised if he didn't hit Jon for what he said." She paused, going quiet for a few moments, until she sighed, "We'll keep in touch, right?"

"Yes." I said immediately, hugging her again, "I promise."

Thankfully, she didn't object to me just giving her my e-mail address. She gave me hers, and we headed down the stairs together. I had to hurry this up or I was going to really lose it, and I didn't want to become a sobbing mess in front of her.

Taking the box with me, I stood up, shoved the box into the front pocket of my sweatshirt, and headed for the stairs. Just as Sammy was ascending them. He looked up, saw me and smiled. I recognized that smile, knowing full well he'd obviously recovered from his pity for me.

"Lookie here." He chuckled, blocking the way as I attempted to get by him. I kept my eyes down, certainly not looking for a fight, "Aw, what's wrong?"

"Sammy." Alyssa was obviously in no mood for his bullshit, "You saw what Emmett did to Jon. He's sitting right outside, and I know he wouldn't mind doing the same to you."

"Speaking of which.." Sammy mused calmly before grabbing my face and pinning me back against the wall with a thud, "I owe you for that. He couldn't see straight for a week. Almost got fired for missing so much work, but dad saved his job."

"He shouldn't have hit me." I mumbled, "It was his own fault."

"Let her go, Sammy." Alyssa demanded.

"I don't know what Mikah saw in you." He grumbled, shoving back and releasing me at the same time, "You wouldn't be so tough without those brothers, you know."

"You're wrong." I replied, "I can kick your ass any day of the week."

"Keep dreaming, baby." He muttered, eyeing me up and down, "You're lucky I'm in a good mood today."

"And you're lucky you won't have to see me again." I countered, "Do I have to slap you again to get it through your thick head?"

He narrowed his eyes, "I dare-"

I jumped, yelping in surprise as his statement was suddenly cut off. The sharp sound of the slap echoing up and down the stairs. He turned forcefully, hitting the wall beside me as he faced Alyssa. Had it not been for the hand rail, he would have probably fallen down the stairs. He looked at her, completely shocked by the look on his face.

"I'm tired of your shit!" It really took me off guard to hear Alyssa yell at him like that, and it really surprised me to finally figure out that she'd been the one to hit him. My eyes were wide as I looked to her.

"What the-"

"You want another one?" She snapped sharply, raising her hand, and that got him moving. He actually moved. Practically running up the stairs. Both Alyssa and I watched after him, before looking at each other. She huffed, "Sorry. You okay?"

"I'm fine." I muttered, still in a pretty decent state of shock, "Where did that come from?"

"No idea." She replied, "But it sure felt good." I couldn't help the small laugh.

"Poor Sammy." I said, "He's always getting hit."

"Maybe he needs to stop doing things that gets him hit." She pointed out, and I shrugged a little.

Shaking our heads, we descended the stairs the rest of the way. I knew full well Emmett had heard every word of that, but I was fine. Unscathed, actually, so he hadn't come running instantly.

Alyssa gave me another, tighter hug on the porch.

"I'll never forget you." She told me, "Or everything you did for us. I can't thank you enough, even if Sammy is nothing but an asshole to you."

"I won't forget you either." I replied, hugging her just as tight, "You gave me so much." And it was true. For however short of a time, she and her family gave me a human influence. Somehow, this bothered me more than leaving Josh and Zack. This was harder. Maybe because I'd gotten attached to her family, too? I saw her more than I'd seen Josh and Zack.

I suddenly wished I had more time, but I knew I didn't. I took a breath and pulled back. Forcing a smile as she forced one too.

"Thank you." I told her, "For everything."

She actually smiled a little, "Thank _you_. I'll see you around, Leandra."

"As often as I can." I replied, and she nodded.

Once back at the jeep, I crawled over Emmett to get into the back seat instead of getting in on the other side. Mainly because I desperately needed to keep crying. Already in tears before Emmett shut the door again.

Nobody commented as we left, understanding how hard it was for me to leave her. As a repeat of when we first left Forks, I knew I just needed to cry about it, but thankfully, Jasper offered a little help. It eased me enough to focus on everything else again. And this time, I had company back here in the back seat.

I did make one more request, however. One more stop before we left good, as this was just something I had to see for myself.

Carlisle sighed, but did as I asked. Pulling to a stop outside the corner store that Mikah was always working at. I climbed out, closing the door behind me as I steeled myself for what I'd see in there.

Pushing open the door, it jingling quietly and announcing my arrival. I couldn't describe my emotion as I looked immediately to the counter, and Mikah wasn't there. He wasn't standing there, greeting me with his usual smile or his soft words.

Instead, some older lady sat there, frowning in concern at my obviously heartbroken expression. Why was I doing this to myself? I knew he wasn't going to be here, but seeing someone else standing in his place bothered me more than I knew how to admit.

Before she could even say anything to me, I turned. Leaving the store again with slow tears still trailing from my eyes. I knew it bothered my family to see me like this, but after this, I wouldn't have a chance to look again. That was a very hard thing to come to terms with.

I climbed back in, shutting the door firmly behind me as I sniffled. Seeing for myself that he wasn't there made it real to me. He really wasn't around anymore, and unless he was dead somewhere, he would definitely have been back by now.

I realized at that point that I was grieving for him.

"Come on, shorty." Emmett murmured, "Don't cry. Why are you doing this to yourself?"

"I can't help it." I whimpered, keeping my eyes down, "He wasn't there."

"He's not going to be." He replied, his tone a lot gentler than I was used to hearing from him, "You knew that."

"I know."

"What is that?" Emmett asked, peering over at the box I picked up again, "Is that what Alyssa gave you?" I sniffled, nodding as I handed it to him, but that just upset me more. I watched him open it, looking at the necklace inside.

"Whoa." He chuckled, "He's got good taste." He held it out as Jasper turned to look.

"Alice is going to want to see that." Jasper smirked a little.

"It's my fault he's gone." I murmured, trying to calm down.

"No it's not." Emmett was the first to correct me, "Don't see it that way, shorty." He closed the box and handed it back to me.

"I have to." I said, "He wouldn't have hit Jon if it weren't for me. You heard her."

"Yeah, well.." He muttered, "He'd better be glad he wasn't home when I heard about that. Mikah hit him defending you. He was protecting you."

"I know." I mumbled, "So it's my fault."

"No it's not." He laughed, "Shorty, remember when you asked me if all boys played rough?" I nodded, "Well, the same goes for defending or protecting a female. For the most part, it's how the dude's raised, but sometimes, it's just instinct. Jon ran his stupid mouth, and Mikah snapped. How was that your fault? It's not."

That helped a little.

"And that's how you know Mikah's a good guy." He said, nudging me a little, "I like him."

"Why are you still talking about him like he's around?" I asked, looking over, "That bugs me. He's gone."

"Sorry, shorty." He smiled a little, and it got quiet.

For the first several miles, I couldn't help dwelling on how much I'd learned about myself during the last six months. Apparently, I was resilient. Whatever that meant. My gift was getting stronger, without me even noticing.

I'd been banned from trying to remember more than I should, and for the most part, I obeyed. I just couldn't help recalling what I already did remember.

I held onto remembering Mikah as much as I could. Standing there, smiling. I didn't push to find out what he was holding, no matter how important it was, but I remembered him easily. Would I still see him again?

In my vision, he was immortal. I suddenly felt better with one seamless thought. Maybe this was how it was supposed to happen. The only explanation of why he had been gone for so long without a word to anyone was that he had been turned.

That's what Emmett had been trying to tell me. He wasn't dead. Just missing. He'd show up. Of that, I was suddenly sure. Why hadn't I thought of this before? Maybe the silence of the car helped me.

I smiled, unable to help it, thinking about him. Instead of worrying, I'd just remember him. If I did manage to see him again, I'd be the happiest kid on the face of the planet.

"You could have said something." I said, looking over at Emmett. For a second, he seemed confused, until he grinned.

"I wanted to see you connect the dots." He replied, "Took you long enough, didn't it?"

"Shut up." I laughed a little, "I've been distracted."

"So stop worrying about him, would you?" He chuckled, "I hate seeing you so sad, and he's probably out there somewhere having the time of his life."

"So protective." I muttered, rolling my eyes a little.

"Someone's got to watch over you." He countered, "And beat the shit out of anyone who hurts you."

"What happens when you can't?" I asked, and he looked over.

"Why wouldn't I?"

"I dunno." I sighed, shrugging, "Just what if?"

"That'll never happen." He said, grinning, "Just say the word, shorty." I smiled, looking back out the window.

I also learned during this trip just how much I missed home. Once the obvious heartbreak eased, soothing itself, the excitement bloomed again. As difficult as it was to sit still, having Emmett next to me helped immensely.

I refused to let Carlisle stop for the night. I was far too excited, anyway. I had to get there as soon as we could. Just to see it again. Just to get _home_. That seemed like such a simple word when we weren't already on our way there, but now that we were, I missed it even more.

I asked the same question I'd asked when seeing that same billboard I'd seen before.

"If it's a gentleman's club," I muttered, "Why are there pictures of women on the billboard?" Emmett snorted, starting on a very amused chuckle.

"Don't answer that, Emmett." Jasper told him from the front.

"Oh, come on." He chuckled, "It's a decent question."

"Now I'm more curious." I admitted, looking over at Emmett. Jasper's reaction only made my curiosity stronger.

"Don't do it." Jasper warned from the front.

"Sorry, shorty." Emmett laughed, "I'll tell you when you're older. I don't feel like dying by Jasper any time soon."

I frowned, "But-"

"Trust me." He told me, "Not knowing what that is won't kill you."

"Fine." I muttered, sighing. I let it drop, looking out the window again.

Just like on our way there, we were making excellent time. Nearly straight shot, nearly no stops.

I only allowed one stop for food, and refused all the other offers. I cursed myself when we did have to stop to find me a bathroom. I ignored it for as long as I could, but it was a close call. I made it. By sprinting into the closest gas station, but I made it.

"Run, shorty!" Emmett called after me, amused.

"Shut up, Emmett!" I called back without pausing.

I didn't wait as long to speak up after that.

The day faded, and we continued on. When I did get tired enough to snooze, I just used Emmett as a pillow, or I curled up on the seat.

Morning came, and went, and the closer we got, the more edgy I got. I was excited, sleep so far from my mind. Before I knew it, we'd made a forty-five hour drive in less than twenty-four. Just by cooperating, and refusing to stop for longer than thirty seconds.

It also helped having Emmett there keeping me occupied.

Mini slap fights, which I'd always win, would break out. I'd shove him over when he'd 'unintentionally' take up too much room, and we'd bicker. He'd say something just to provoke me into a light-hearted argument. Just to keep me from being bored to tears. Probably once, I actually did get irritated, and fell silent for about an hour, but that was it.

I was so wide awake by the time we reached town, I doubted I'd ever sleep again. I never thought I'd miss this small town so much, but I _really_ missed it. It was boring, plain, but it was where I lived.

My face was nearly against the glass, watching out the window the entire way through town.

"Hurry up, hurry up." I grumbled at one of the stop lights in town. It just had to take its time. Just to torture me.

"Calm down, shorty." Emmett chuckled, "Pace yourself." I'd waited six months to come back here. Pacing myself wasn't possible. I actually compared this feeling to the night Alyssa spent the night. All the sugar I'd consumed that night made me feel like this. This excited.

I leaned forward between the two seats. Pointing forward the second the light turned green.

With a chuckle, Jasper shook his head.

"Just run them over." I suggested with a glance to Carlisle, referring to the two cars in front of us.

"Get back here." Emmett laughed, pulling me back into the back seat with a light tug on my shirt, "You're distracting the driver."

"Come on." I whined, "Who cares about speed limits? I sure don't."

"Breathe." Emmett reminded me, and I took a breath, "You're going to make it. I swear. The anticipation isn't going to kill you."

"Yes it is." I fell over, across the middle of the seat, "I'm not getting any younger. We're _so_ close."

"Carlisle, I suddenly feel the need to pull over and stretch." Emmett grinned.

"No." I kicked the back passenger door, "Don't you dare."

Emmett faked a yawn, and stretched his arms out. Nearly spanning the whole length of the back seat as he fell over. I recognized this trick, and instantly started hitting him as he landed on me. He'd pulled this several times during the trip.

"You're smashing me." I couldn't stop laughing, however. Me on my side, I only had one free hand to hit him with. My fight only increased as he reached over and tickled my side. Squirming, I managed to roll to my back, bringing my leg back and kicking him in the head.

"You're only making it worse, Emmett." Jasper pointed out with a quiet chuckle.

"I know." Emmett replied, "But I like to hear her laugh." And he heard plenty of laughs without much effort on his part. A poke here or there, and those laughs would renew, but one good threat would always stop the tickling.

"I swear, I'll pee."

He sat up instantly, giving me a look. I returned it as I sat up as well, glaring at him from across the back seat.

The fact that we slowly came to a stop took my instantly took my full attention, and I turned. Looking sharply out the window, noticing that we'd finally made it.

Esme and Rose had obviously gotten there long before we did, not having to stop at all except to get gas, and I was surprised to find they'd already gotten most of the furniture back in the house by themselves, given my glance into the house.

Out front of the house, I actually hesitated in getting out. I just couldn't stop staring at the house long enough to move. It was the most amazing thing I'd seen in so long.

Emmett and Carlisle greeted Esme and Rosalie lightly on the porch, but Jasper had noticed the fact that I hadn't climbed out yet.

Opening my door for me, he smiled a little, "Well?"

With an emotion in my throat I couldn't describe, I finally moved. Hopping from the seat carefully. I stared up at the house as if it'd been years since I'd been home. I loved it here. I loved everything about the house.

"Finally." I mumbled, catching Carlisle and Esme's attention on the porch. Cold rain poured on me, drenching me as I hesitated, standing there. They stood safe from the rain on the porch, looking down at me.

"Leandra?" Carlisle asked, concerned. My smile eased his concern, though. I noticed that immediately.

I couldn't begin to describe my happiness. Like I might explode at the amount of it. Like I wanted to cry, but I wasn't sad. Not in the least. I had missed it, but I wasn't sad about that anymore. It felt so strange to me. I felt like a completely different person, having changed so much since the last time I saw this house. I'd changed so much, but the house had stayed so much the same. The house was as much a part of my family as the family itself was.

Emmett, seeing me standing there in the rain, left the safety of the porch to join me.

My previous problems forgotten as he lifted me. Swinging me up into his arms easily, and sitting me on his shoulder. Spinning me around, slowly by his standards. I laughed, holding on as much as I could.

"I've missed the rain." I commented when he finally stopped, "I don't wanna go inside yet."

"Good." He said, "Because I don't either." I hardly noticed Esme taking my bag from the jeep. Quickly darting back up onto the porch with it to keep it from getting wet in the rain.

At first, Emmett kept me occupied by throwing me up in the air, and catching me as I fell back down. Probably showing off, because he could show off again without any possibility of anyone seeing.

The first toss, I wasn't having that much fun, and I was scared, until he caught me easily. He knew just how to catch me so it didn't hurt to land in his arms. He'd spin me when he caught me, making me dizzy before tossing me in the air again.

The second toss, and we'd gained the attention of the others by the sound I made. Somewhere between a squeal, and a laugh.

"Emmett." Esme scolded from the porch, but I knew she wasn't upset with him.

"Higher." I requested, grinning.

One more toss, and I swear I left my stomach below me. I trusted him not to let me hit the ground, but it was still scary going up that high. Being able to see into the second floor window was high enough for me.

He didn't throw me again, despite my constant breathless laughs.

"Leandra?" Esme called, smiling from the porch, "Come get changed." That meant my room was done. I fought from Emmett's arms, and ran toward the house. Nearly tripping up the steps in my dizziness, but recovering. I raced passed Esme, straight into the house and up the hall.

I paid no attention to everything else already back in the house. My sights were on one room in particular. I caught myself on the door frame, flinging myself through the open door. Straight across the room and took a flying leap onto my bed.

I sobbed loudly in happiness as I landed face down, trying to hug the mattress. I wasn't moving. My entire room was put back together already.

"I'm never leaving my room." I announced as I bounced a little.

"Off the bed." Esme laughed behind me from the doorway, "You're still wet."

"But it's my bed." I mumbled, not lifting my face off the mattress, "I'm never, ever, ever leaving it ever again. Ever. Never, never."

"Go take a shower." Esme laughed again, "Get warm, honey." I groaned, but obeyed. I was rather cold. Doing a roll off the other side of the bed, I gathered clothes at the speed of light, hardly realizing that Esme had already put my clothes away for me. Everything was right where I left it before we left six months ago. That elated me, and I practically ran into the bathroom.

I squealed in happiness this time, as it was just like I remembered it.

I couldn't begin to describe how happy I was to be home. Like the last six months were spent on some sort of hellish vacation. Though I did love the house in New York, I was never leaving this one. I loved it too much. It provided more of a sense of safety to me. This house defined the meaning of the word to me. It was private, but open. Lighter colors instantly brightened my mood. This house was home to me.

Happier, even, than I had been with Mikah. Happier than I was with Alyssa, or Josh. Happier than I'd ever been, just by coming home after spending so much time away from it. The way it looked, the scent, the sound of the rain outside the wide open doors, I loved it. The kitchen, the hallway, the rooms, the windows and the stairs, everything about it was my favorite thing.

My warm shower couldn't be rushed, though. It felt so much better than staying soaked to the skin in cold rain. However, I still had the energy I had before the second I got out.

Now in my pajamas, I squeaked as I crossed the hall again. Taking another flying leap, and landing directly on my bed again. Cuddling my pillow to me as I stopped bouncing. I squealed again, flopping over excitedly to face the door, and hugging the pillow closer.

I wasn't in there very long. Maybe just over an hour, just enjoying being home.

"Happy?" Emmett poked his head in. I grinned, my eyes still closed, nodding vigorously, "Good, now get dressed."

"I'm not leaving." I laughed, "Never, ever."

"Come on, shorty." He laughed as well, "We want to be there waiting when they get to the airport."

"They?" I asked, confused.

"Alice, Edward and Bella." He answered, "They're coming back." I wanted to ask where they went, but I didn't. I was too cooperative to care.

"O-_kay_." I whined, "But the second we get back, then I'll never, ever leave."

I rolled off the bed again, and closed the door in Emmett's face.

"Five minutes, shorty." He chuckled out in the hall.

I chose a pair of baggier jeans, and a sweater. I braided my long, slightly damp hair loosely down my back, and came running out within three. Taking yet another flying leap, and landing on the couch like I landed on my bed. The couch was a bit firmer than my bed was, though, and it knocked the breath from me for a moment.

"Well, this is a pleasant change." Emmett chuckled, probably referring to my behavior, "Who knew it'd be so easy to make you so happy?"

"I never wanted to leave." I reminded him, rolling over onto my back and looking up at him.

He smiled, watching me stand up on the couch, "I don't think you've ever been like this before."

Carlisle chose then to descend the stairs, and I smiled over at him. I wanted him to see how happy I was now. He returned my smile, a little calmer of course. Emmett chuckled, and turned to walk away, but I bounced up, landing on his back like a backpack. He caught me easily, supporting my weight so I didn't fall. Hugging his neck tightly, I laughed a little. He didn't seem to mind my happiness. Nobody did.

Least of all Jasper who stood back observing calmly. I knew it was a very welcome change for him too, especially after the last few weeks. Or months. Or as long as I'd known them. I'd never felt like this before.

"You sure are affectionate when you're happy." Emmett pointed out with a laugh, "Who are you, and what have you done with shorty?"

"I'm just so happy to be home." I replied with a grin, resting my chin on his shoulder. Closing my eyes, I sighed contentedly.

I knew I'd probably drop like a ton of bricks when this excited energy left, but for right then, I didn't care. I couldn't stop smiling, and my cheeks hurt.

I eventually had to let him go, so we could get going. I took one more lap around the house, but eventually jumped into the back seat of the jeep. The same seat I'd just left.

The trip to the airport was hard to sit through, mostly because there wasn't room to run around in the back seat, but I knew I couldn't run around the airport, either. It had already started to get dark by the time we got there, and Emmett didn't trust me not to run off, so he carried me most of the way.

Which was probably a good idea, because there were people everywhere, and he apparently didn't feel like putting a leash on me.

We'd gotten there with about ten minutes to spare, so I could see why Emmett had been in a rush. We got to the spot where we had to wait, which was pretty boring. So Emmett kept me entertained by sitting me on his shoulder again. Getting us a lot of looks and laughs by those passing by.

"Why did they leave?" I asked, unable to help it anymore.

"Long story short," Emmett answered, "Eddy lost his mind there for a minute. Bella had to help him find it." I accepted that answer.

"And Alice had to get her there so she could." I added, and he chuckled, nodding, "Now I'm all caught up. Was that so hard?"

"What do you mean?"

"Nobody would tell me _any_thing." I grumbled, "I was losing my mind."

"Well, we didn't know exactly what the heck was going on." Emmett reasoned, "It's hard to tell anyone anything when we're just as confused, shorty."

"Oh." I muttered, "Yeah, and you being confused would have just confused me, and probably freaked me out. Then I would have been confused about why I should be freaking out, and confused at all about freaking out.." I trailed off.

"Exactly." He replied, "And with you dealing with so much, I sure didn't want to be the one tossing another thing in there for you to deal with."

"Good call." I told him,"But next time, at least tell me _some_thing so I'm not stuck thinking I'm about to die, or the world is ending. I didn't even know what to think, Mister. All I knew was that it was bad."

"I'll do my best." He chuckled. Shaking her head a little, Rosalie standing beside him looked away. I'd pretty much gotten used to her being annoyed with me by then, so I didn't let that bother me.

"And that's another thing-"

"Am I really being scolded by the ten-year-old?"

"Yes." I replied simply, "Now can I finish?"

"By all means." He replied with another chuckle.

"Nobody told me that moving back here was possible." I said, "I would have seriously _loved_ to know that like.. Months ago."

"I didn't think it was." He reasoned, and I patted his head.

"I'm not done." I grumbled, and he shut up, "I didn't think I'd ever see here again. I was freaking born here. I think I should have been told that we'd come back eventually.

"You could have just said, y'know, that _eventually_, we'd come back. Sure, there would have been a whole lot of bugging to come back at first, but I would have shut up about it after awhile. There I was, all thinking I'd never come back here, then all of a sudden.. Not that I'm complaining."

He grinned, "Sure sounds like it."

"I'm not complaining." I corrected, "I'm just making a point. Do you know how rough that was on me? Look, I'm getting gray hair. I think I aged thirty years just during that drive."

"Wow." He chuckled, "Oh no."

"And that reminds me." I spoke up yet again, but before I could continue on with that thought, Emmett dropped me from his shoulder. Catching me before I could really fall. I yelped, but wasn't too upset with him.

"Slow down." He laughed, "You're going to talk yourself out."

"First, you want me to talk more." I glared, "Now you're telling me to shut up? Make up your mind, man!" He tickled me, and I squirmed to my feet. Gaining enough freedom to move away a few steps. I returned to his side, glaring pointedly at him.

Once Alice, Bella and Edward got there, Emmett and I stood back while everyone else greeted them, and Esme started in on Edward's scolding. Relieved, of course, and once again, I couldn't stop smiling. Getting to see this, everyone else getting reunited, I sensed the intense relief, and I knew it had been a tad more dangerous than Emmett was letting on.

Emmett set me on my feet only to take his turn greeting Bella. Freeing me enough for me to hug Alice. She greeted me by returning the hug with a small laugh.

"We're home now." I told her, grinning.

"I heard." She replied, returning my grin, "That must be why you're so happy." I nodded.

"Not just that." I added, "But you guys are back." I looked over, meeting Bella's eyes. The other human in their life, I knew they cared about her as much as they cared about me. Glancing back, I laughed a little, "Sorry. I'm hogging her."

I released Alice so Jasper could greet her again, kissing her gently. I smiled a little, landing back beside Esme this time. She placed her arm around my shoulders, hugging me into her side as I held her hand. Watching.

Despite the way I usually never saw Edward, it had easily felt like something was missing for the last six months, but not anymore. I couldn't help it, however. I greeted Edward with a hug once I had an opening, which he returned with a chuckle.

I realized then. Bella had been what was missing before. During Christmas, when he seemed so tired, as if he'd lost the one reason to exist. That was Bella. His reason to exist was Bella. It was then I realized just how much they meant to each other.

"Thank you, by the way." I told him, "A million times, thank you."

"For?"

"What you did for me during Christmas." I replied, "I never got to thank you. You were gone before I could."

"I was so worried I'd overstepped." He admitted.

"Not at all." I said, "You don't know how easy you made it for me. There's no way I could have explained that on my own. Trust me, if I'd wanted you to shut up, I would have told you to." I looked up at him as I stepped back, "You're sticking around, right?"

"It's safe to say." He agreed with a smile. I returned his smile.

"Good." I said, giving him a nod, and turning. Esme lifted me, probably to keep me from wandering too far, "Because you cause enough trouble to keep things interesting." His smile widened, and I grinned in return. That seemed to amuse everyone else, too.

We didn't spend that much time at the airport, actually. We just had to be there to greet them. Like any family would. Edward was brave enough to be the one to take Bella home.

I did crash hard. I never even made it home before passing out. I fell straight to sleep in the back seat on the way home. I never woke up while being brought into the house, and I never woke up to my shoes being pulled off or to being placed in bed. I was out cold.

**A/N: Yes. I split it. Sue me. :P (Just kidding- Please don't.)  
I know this chapter is a little short compared to my others, but the other chapters' lengths should be enough to make up for this one's lack of length, right?  
Luckily, the next chapter isn't going to take very long, because I pretty much edited it all together. When it got to be over 20k Word(s), I knew I had to split it.**  
**THANK YOU to my reviewer of chapter thirteen! :D THANK YOU! **  
**Fifteen (or Fourteen-Part 2?) will be along shortly. :) Expect a pretty decent change in that one. I know. Finally, right? Yeah. It still amazes me the way adding one little detail can change so much. **  
**Until then, my wonderful readers! :D**


	15. Chapter 15

**ImPORTANT NOTE: Not so great mentions of violence in this chapter. Be prepared for that.**

**Chapter Fifteen**

I did wake up, though, when I rolled over much later.

Opening my eyes when I rolled over, I noticed my room was dark. The fear made an appearance, and it was enough to wake me up even more. I never thought to turn on the nightlight earlier in the day, and I guess no one else thought to either. They probably figured I'd sleep through the night.

Once the initial happiness was gone, I realized why the family thought it would be good to take me away from this town and this place. From all the rain. The sound of the rain against the window that I'd missed so much seemed to hold a warning now.

How many times had I laid awake at night, listening to the rain? In the dark, scared to death, just like this? I could just see it. Remember it so perfectly, the memory so strong that even in the darkness, I could still see my old room.

I wasn't stupid, or dreaming. I knew where I was. I was in my room. The bedroom that was safe from anything like that, but I could still see it. Wide awake, I could still feel what that room felt like.

I wasn't crying this time, though. I wasn't desperately scrambling to turn on the lamp, but laying still. Looking toward the one source of very dim light I had in here, and that was the window. Was I just getting used to the dark? I was afraid, but I wasn't paralyzed like I used to be.

Maybe it was just from an old memory. Maybe it was my own imagination, but I heard that warning. Loud and clear. If it was so easy to find where I was in New York, I knew Jack would have no problems finding me here, and considering I was on a lower floor again, very accessible.

Rolling out of bed, I crossed the room to the window. Kneeling on the wide, padded seat beneath it, I reached up. Making sure it was locked. Looking out over the yard, the trails of raindrops down the glass blurring the view slightly.

With a sigh, I turned away from the window and decided to change into my pajamas. Jeans were really uncomfortable to sleep in, no matter how baggy they were. Maybe I was just uncomfortable. Maybe that was the problem.

I knew my dresser drawers like the back of my hand, so I didn't really need to turn on the light. Oddly enough, I didn't really want anyone to know I was awake in here, but the fact that I hadn't woken up in sobs was probably the reason why nobody had come in yet.

Hesitantly returning to my bed. I kicked my feet, crawling back under the blanket. Cuddling into it.

It was stupid to be afraid, because I knew he couldn't get within three miles of the house without everyone knowing immediately that he was coming. None of them having met him, though, would they recognize his scent if it showed up? They knew what he looked like, though, so that was a plus.

I comforted myself with the thought that Carlisle and Alice would recognize at least a small bit of Jack's scent, because they'd been where I lived before, but that had two other scents mixed with it. That could be why they couldn't find him in New York, despite knowing what he looked like.

Edward, being the only one to ever have seen him face to face, was never there in New York.

As a distraction, I briefly wondered how bad that house had smelled of blood to them. It had been everywhere. Just thinking about that house, though, sent a wave of unease through me. Intensifying the fear to near sobbing levels, but I held it back.

Laying awake in the dark, I hadn't done this before. Just laid here. Not insisting on turning on the lamp, but leaving it off. Leaving myself in the dark. Forcing myself to wait. To wait for me to calm down.

It took work. A whole lot of patience I didn't know I had with myself, and even a few minutes of hiding underneath the blanket, but slowly, the fearful anticipation started to fade, and I did start to calm down. Under the blanket, it was supposed to be dark, so that didn't freak me out as much. Under the blanket, I also had a chance to scream if something moved that had no business moving, or if I heard a sound that I shouldn't have heard. Under the blanket might not have been one hundred percent safe, but it bought me time I probably wouldn't have if I wasn't under here.

After awhile, the sound of the rain became just that. Just rain. I was safe here, I told myself. I was safe here. I was safe.

I fell back to sleep with those thoughts, but even repeating those words to myself, I couldn't help feeling like I was lying to myself. That was the scariest thing about that night. The icy sensation of nervousness stayed, keeping my heart beating faster.

Carlisle was at work by the next day, so I couldn't tell him. The happiness from the day before was gone. The fear from the night before overwhelming it.

"What's wrong, shorty?" Emmett had noticed. I forced a smile.

"Nothing." I knew it was stupid to say that.

"I don't buy that." He replied, narrowing his eyes a little.

It was probably my light trembling that gave me away. Or the fact that I'd jump at every little unexpected sound around me. I should have listened to the fact that this nervousness bordered terror. I was scared, but I kept telling myself that I had no reason to be. I tried to ignore it, but I just couldn't for very long.

"Alice?" I muttered that evening, and she looked over, "Is anything going to happen?"

"Not that I know of." She replied, "Why?"

"I think it is." I admitted.

"Because she's been freaked out all day." Emmett explained.

"That could just be you recovering from the move." She suggested.

"It doesn't feel like that." I said, "It feels like the dream. The one I can't remember, but I'm awake now."

"Are you sure?" She asked, but I knew it was only to confirm. It wasn't that she didn't believe me, but more like she wanted me to be sure of what I was saying.

"I'm sure." I replied, "I first felt it last night, and at first, I thought it could have been what you said. About trying to get used to being here again, but it's still here. It's only gotten worse. Something's going to happen."

"I thought you said you handled everything in Italy?" Emmett muttered, confused.

"Italy?" I frowned. Was that where they went? That was a really long ways away.

"We did." She replied, ignoring me, "No, they're okay for now. I know that much, because I've been watching." She fell quiet quickly, almost like she had more to say that she wouldn't say. This obviously concerned her, "I'll talk to Carlisle when he gets home."

"It's bad, isn't it?" I whimpered.

"Now, we don't know that." She assured me, "No use panicking about something that could be anything, but it's best to give Carlisle a chance to think it over, too. It's probably nothing." Though it really didn't feel like nothing, I took a breath, and nodded a little. She knew what she was talking about when it came to stuff like this.

"Just let me know if anything changes." She said, "And above all, remember that you're safe right here, okay?"

"Yeah." I sighed, nodding again, "Yeah."

Three more days passed, and Alice asked about it a few times a day. Every day, it got a little more intense. I wondered to myself. Could anyone predict the day of their own death? That's how it felt to me, and I did what I could to ignore it.

As happy as I was to be home, it didn't feel safe anymore. That's what it was. For no reason at all, that sense of safety was gone now. Of course, it always could have been the fact that when we lived here before, I was just scooped up and taken away from it, but that didn't make any sense to me.

For three more days, I waited. Waiting for something to happen. It was the same sense of terrifying anticipation I usually felt in the dark. Like at any second, something was going to grab onto me, and though I couldn't understand it, I couldn't ignore it either. I'd never felt like this around my family before.

I couldn't stop thinking about it. It felt like something was missing, something they weren't getting. Like a door left open, a window unlocked. A way through.

It was getting bad. I sat in my room that afternoon, knowing I had to talk to Carlisle myself soon. As soon as he got home, I was going to say something. Until then, I'd hide. I wouldn't come out. I needed to know what he was thinking about this, because I couldn't stand it much longer.

"Leandra, can you please come outside?" Esme's tone of voice bothered me instantly. She was upset. Not angry, not sad, but upset. It reminded me a little of the day Alyssa came by to tell me Mikah was gone, but a little more upset than that. It also struck me as odd, because normally, they didn't really try to bother me when I was hiding away.

I worried. What would upset her? Once again, I couldn't think of anything I'd done wrong to get into trouble. I hesitantly left my room, almost fearful of moving. I almost didn't want to go to her. Something telling me to stay put, or find the closest hiding spot. I was a nervous wreck these days, so this didn't strike me as something new.

I slowly came outside, half expecting to see Jack, but he was nowhere to be found. Looking at Esme curiously as I slowly descended the steps, standing right in front of the porch.

Given the way everyone else was outside as well, it only made me more worried, as whatever this was obviously involved everyone else. I stood between Esme and Emmett to my left. My bare feet cold in the gravel. I hadn't put on shoes before coming out here.

Esme attempted a calm tone, but I could hear her emotion in each word, "Honey, this woman is here to see you."

I looked over, meeting the eyes of a woman with long brown hair, and lighter brown eyes. Her appearance, the way she dressed made me immediately recognize her as someone important. A folder in one arm, clasping her hands in front of her, and a smile I didn't trust on her face.

"Hello, Leandra." She smiled at me, "My name is Ms. Parker."

I looked up nervously at Esme, looking for her comforting smile, but it never came. Esme gently stroked my hair, though, but that wasn't enough for once. That only made me more nervous. There was a tension in the action that I could pick up on. I eyed this new woman with distrust.

"What's going on?" I mumbled, very confused. I didn't know this woman. I'd never met her in my life, so why was she here to see me?

The woman reached out and gently took my hand. I yanked it from her hand, but she took it again, and she held on, despite my attempts to yank it free. I managed to, but she just took my other hand. I shook that one free, and stepped back. Out of her reach. I wasn't afraid enough to really be pissed yet, but that was coming.

"Stop." I told her, my tone quiet. I didn't like this. I didn't like getting grabbed at all, much less by someone I'd never met before thirty seconds ago.

She smiled at me, "Just come on over here a moment, if you wouldn't mind."

I did mind. I minded a lot. I couldn't have minded any more than I minded right then.

"It's okay, honey." Esme told me, and for the first time, I didn't believe her. I looked up at Esme, confused. I couldn't figure out why she'd lie to me. Why was she lying?

I didn't know this bitch.

"Please?" Ms. Parker asked, the friendliness in her voice so sickening, I very nearly threw up, "I promise I'm not going to hurt you. I'd just like to talk to you over here for a moment." I narrowed my eyes as she offered her hand to me. Like hell.

I wasn't moving yet. She wanted to pull me away, to separate from my family. Like she had every right to. That fact took my attention immediately.

"Why can't you talk to me right here?" I asked, my tone clearly announcing my distrust, "What's wrong with right here?"

"It's a sensitive matter." Was her answer, which didn't help her cause.

Behind the woman, further in the drive, sat a running car with someone in the driver's seat. The gold colored car wasn't one I recognized, and I recognized the driver even less. He just sat there, watching. Using my distraction, she managed to gently but firmly capture my wrist again.

"What's going on?" I finally demanded again, not liking the cornered feeling I got from her hand clasped around my wrist. She slowly managed to tug me a few steps away. My deep confusion only helping her. She waited until I was away from my family before she spoke again.

"It's okay, honey." She told me. I hated the way she called me that.

"Good to know." I muttered, "What do you want?"

Was she someone from the school? Maybe I was still in trouble for what I'd done at the beginning of the school year. The running car just told me she didn't plan on staying very long, as did the fact that she chose to talk with me outside.

"I'm here to take you home." My eyes narrowed again at her response, "Where you belong." I was deeply confused now. Both confused, and cautious. Home? I was home.

"But I am home." I muttered, confusion in my quiet voice. She just smiled, and waited. Not replying to that, obviously waiting for me to understand what she wasn't saying. I gave a confused look behind me, and nobody returned my look.

Home? What the hell was she talking about?

"Not here, honey." She finally corrected me, and it even took a few seconds longer to understand what she was getting at.

With a rush of sudden fear and panic that stole my breath, I caught on. I felt it rush through me, sudden understanding, from the top of my head to my toes, I was instantly terrified. I swear, my heart stopped for a second.

This woman was from the state, and she wanted to take me away. She wanted to take me 'home', and the only way that made sense was with my mom. She wanted to take me back to my mom.

There was no way. No way this was happening. The sadness in my family's eyes as I looked sharply to them once more, with widened eyes this time told me I wasn't wrong. There was nothing they were able to do to stop this from happening, and I knew that. That's why they just let her pull me away.

Heavy sobs immediately started, and I tried to run, but Ms. Parker held me easily, nearly tugging me off my feet on the gravel of the drive. Her hand moved from my wrist, to my arm. Restraining me now. Lightly, but it was enough to make me panic even more. I couldn't pull away like I needed to.

"No!" I finally managed to gasp out, "No, no, no, no!"

She struggled with me, "Listen, honey-"

"Please!" I couldn't breathe anymore, fear squeezing my heart painfully and closing my throat. She tugged me back. Headed for the car.

She eventually had to physically move me, as I resisted her so much. She held my arm, and I dropped back. Despite the way my feet slid, I dug in. I wasn't being moved. Until she lifted me in one arm, holding me tightly despite how I writhed.

"I don't want to!" I cried, sobbing making my words nearly unintelligible.

Desperately kicking and fighting as she carried me further from my family. From the glance I had, I could see their emotions perfectly. Alice was deeply upset, as was Esme, that they couldn't help me like I repeatedly begged them. Emmett easily looked like he wanted to punch this woman unconscious.

She nearly wrestled me, practically tossing me into the back seat of their car. Closing the door before I could crawl back out, turning back to them. Thinking that was enough, but she had another thing coming. I was not going willingly.

I threw open the door and ran passed her.

"Wha-" She sighed deeply, "Leandra, please."

Dodging her attempt to catch me, I made it right back to my family, clinging desperately to Emmett, practically clawing my way up his side until he held me. This had to be the biggest fit I'd ever thrown around them, but I didn't care. My fear was too deep to ignore. Jasper moved closer, unable to help it given the look in his eyes. They wanted to help me, but they really couldn't.

"I'm so sorry, shorty." Emmett muttered to me, supporting me easily. That didn't help me. That didn't make me feel any better.

"Honey." Ms. Parker was back.

"Don't call me that!" Loud, bawling sobs left me. My hold on Emmett's neck, my arms wrapped around it, wouldn't budge. I could tell by the way she didn't immediately try to pull me from him that Emmett's glare alone made her keep her distance. Just daring her to try.

"Leandra, you're only going to your mother-"

"No!" I cried, bawling as I tightened my hold, "You can't do that! You can't! Please!"

"She's waiting for you."

"He's there!" I bawled, "You're sending me back to him!"

"Honey, your stepfather isn't anywhere around." She assured me, "I promise you. We did a very thorough search of her home, and there was nothing to suggest anyone lives there with-"

"You're lying!" I accused, glancing back at her, "You're a goddamn liar!"

"I promise." She said again, "You'll be safe."

"Please!" I cried, "Don't make me go back to her. Please don't make me go back. I'll do anything. I'll do whatever you want, but please don't make me go back. Please! Please, please, please.." My breath choked off, and I had to take another to sob again, "I don't want to! I don't want to!"

"We're positive that you're going to be safe there." She stressed, "I understand why you're so scared, but I can tell you that you don't have to be." I knew. I was sure that there was no way my mom had left his side. Alice would have known that.

"Tell her." I begged, looking to Alice, "Please tell her! She's with him!" She couldn't, given the expression in her eyes. She couldn't say a word about it.

Ms. Parker must have gotten up the courage, because I soon felt her hands pulling me from Emmett. Hesitantly at first, as she couldn't break my hold without having to use more force.

"No!" I clung tighter, "Let me go!" I couldn't breathe, and I couldn't make myself let go, "No! Please! I don't want to! I don't want to! I don't want to!" My voice broke with how hard I cried now, the panic stealing every rational thought.

I kicked at her, but that was only a mistake as that only made it easier for her. She caught a hold of my ankle, securing it and making it safe for her to move forward, toward my arms. My cries only intensified as she tried again, and succeeded this time. Prying my arms apart, pulling me from Emmett when I wasn't strong enough to keep my hold. My arm ached where I'd dug my own fingers in, in an attempt to hold on.

"No!" I cried again, blindly kicking harder back at her. Emmett wasn't allowed to pull me away from her, and I knew that.

Literally pulling me away from my family, to send me straight back to hell. The feel of this woman's hands restraining me was the most terrifying thing in the world to me. I couldn't get away from her. Fighting as hard as I could, straining, resisting as hard as I could. Nothing worked. She held me, her arm around my stomach as I fought.

"Emmett." Alice's firm voice told me he was three seconds from snapping. Before she could get me back into the car, though, Carlisle showed up.

I struggled harder, tears creating a river down my cheeks. Choking on my cries, crying too hard to breathe. She held my forearm tight in one hand, my other wrist in her other hand, letting me down on my feet as his car came to a stop beside theirs in the drive.

He climbed out of his car in a hurry, immediately striding around the front to our side. I fought to get to him, but she held me. Tight against her side. With a sobbing grunt, I leaned down and bit her.

Surprised, she released me with both hands in her pain, making it easy for me. I ran the two steps forward and climbed into Carlisle's arms this time. Just the way I'd done with Emmett. Clinging to him desperately, my arms tight around his neck. He held me tight in return, probably trying to calm me down. He had to hear how fast my heart was beating.

Glancing back, over my shoulder at Ms. Parker, I could see easily that she was getting irritated, and I didn't know how far she was willing to be pushed. I whimpered, but my cries continued. I was so scared, so upset and so confused, I had no idea what to do.

"What's going on?" Carlisle asked over the sound of my cries, "I was told recently that her mother had no intentions of reclaiming custody."

"She's changed her mind." The woman explained.

"She can do that?" Emmett demanded, "What about Leandra?"

"I understand that," Carlisle spoke again to the woman as he adjusted how I sat in his arms, "But I specifically asked if there was any chance this could happen, and I was told that there were many procedures she'd need to go through before you'd attempt taking her."

"And she's gone through them all."

"I only spoke with your office last week." Carlisle replied, clear disbelief in his voice. Considering it was just before noon on Monday, that was a big deal.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Cullen, there's nothing I can do. I'm just doing my job-"

"And your job's going to get her killed." Emmett told her bluntly, "How do you sleep at night?" That only scared me more, announced by my louder cries.

"You're not helping the situation any." She told him sharply, "If you would just-"

"My only intention is helping her." Emmett countered, "Not the situation, and right now, I'm not liking what I'm seeing."

"I'm sorry." Carlisle muttered, speaking to Ms. Parker again, "I'm afraid I don't understand. This just doesn't make any sense."

"You don't need to understand." She replied, "The point is, we've conducted a very thorough search-"

"Your search isn't good enough." Emmett countered, "Is that a child that looks like she feels safe to you? Do you think she trusts your search?"

"I understand your concern, but I assure you we've done everything we can to ensure her safety and well-being-"

"Liar!" I sobbed, knowing she heard me.

She sighed, gesturing to me but looking to Emmett, "See how much harder you're making this?"

"I'm not doing anything." Emmett argued, "She wouldn't even be this scared if it weren't for you. That, right there, bothers me. To see her crying that way, but you being so insistent on taking her-"

"Any further questions will have to be directed to the proper offices on Wednesday." She continued as if he hadn't said anything, her tone sharp, "That's the soonest they can answer you, but right now, I have to take her. That's just how it is."

"What about her?" Emmett demanded again, "Look at her!"

"I see her." She barked in reply, "Now if you'll please take a few steps back, I can do my job-"

"Again with your job!"

"Emmett." Esme spoke up now, "Please."

"I can't believe this!" Emmett was pissed. I'd never heard him so pissed, but not at Esme. He was mad at this woman. It was a little scary, but he was buying me time. I wasn't about to waste it.

To my surprise, however, Edward showed up as well. His car quickly coming to a stop behind Carlisle's. He climbed out just as quickly as Carlisle had, coming to his side. I was too worked up to bother saying anything to him, and he understood how completely terrified I was, given his expression. He turned his gaze to the woman standing across the drive while Emmett argued with her. No doubt instantly paying attention.

"Don't let her take me." I begged Carlisle repeatedly, "Please don't let her take me back to her." I couldn't stop pleading, but even a small part of me knew they had no choice. They had about as much choice as I had. Without physically hurting these people, their hands were tied. From the corner of my eye, I noticed Edward glance over at me.

"Don't let them, Carlisle. I don't want to die." I sobbed hard, "Remember the dream? Remember it, Carlisle? I don't want to." That was vague enough for Ms. Parker not to understand, but Carlisle obviously did. He took a breath, glancing over as Edward stepped closer.

"Something isn't right here." Edward muttered, almost too low for even me to hear.

"I agree." Carlisle murmured in reply.

I coughed through more sobs, "I don't want to. I don't want to." I was half a step away from hyperventilating, nearly suffocating in my panic. I couldn't breathe.

"Stop it." Ms. Parker told me, "You're only making this harder than it has to be."

"Don't you tell her that." Emmett barked from the porch, "I think she should be allowed to cry if she wants to."

Carlisle moved, actually carrying me back toward the house and the safety of everyone there. Much to Ms. Parker's displeasure, announced by her irritated sigh, but much to my relief. This was where I wanted to be, even if it was only for a moment. Edward followed us closely, and from what I could see, his eyes never left the woman standing there.

"Please." Carlisle spoke quietly to Esme, "Take her for a moment. Do what you can to calm her down." Esme wasted no time in gently pulling me from Carlisle, into her own arms. Alice moved closer this time, tossing a rather deep glare at the woman across the yard. Resentment in her eyes.

I struggled to breathe before I passed out, and surrounded like I was, I could work on that easier. At least for right that second, I wasn't going with Ms. Parker. A few seconds right where I was was what I needed.

Alice reached up, loosening the hold my hand had on one of my arms. Probably to keep me from digging my nails harder into my own skin in my effort to hold on. In return, she held onto that hand, which gave me something more to hold onto. As tight as I could, I squeezed onto her hand, much to her concern.

"I don't want to." I gasped in a whimper, shaking my head.

"Breathe." Alice reminded me quietly, "Try to breathe."

"I can't." I sobbed again.

I wasn't about to let that woman pull me away again without turning on her. It was up to her when I turned really violent, and the next time she tried, I was going to snap.

My head ached in the worst way, dizziness from lack of breath only making that worse. I shook, trembling roughly in Esme's arms. Each time I almost had it, another couple of sobs would steal what breath I did manage to get. Calming down was impossible.

"I have to take her." Ms. Parker tried again, only restarting my cries briefly. I was exhausted already, and this wasn't helping. It wasn't just my head that hurt. How hard I'd fought, though unsuccessful, was taking its toll as well. I could still feel that bitch's hands restraining me and the effort she used to do so.

"Can you honestly tell me that this is okay to you?" Emmett demanded, "Doesn't she matter? Do you even know what that woman put her through?"

"Her mother wasn't the one to inflict the abuse, and hasn't been charged with anything." Was her firm reply.

"How about neglect?" Emmett countered sharply, "Are you kidding me?"

"She got the treatment she needed."

"That's impossible." Alice spoke up, "There's absolutely no way she got what she needed in such a short amount of time."

"She was released-"

"She walked out on her own." Alice argued, "There's a difference."

"Regardless-"

"It doesn't matter!" Emmett replied, "Look at her! She-"

"She, sir, is ten years old." Ms. Parker countered sharply, "It isn't her job to decide where she is placed. It isn't my job to decide where she is placed, and it isn't your job to decide where she is placed. It's my job to see that she gets to where she's been placed, and it's your job to step back, before I have to call the authorities. You have no rights to her anymore. Plain and simple."

She was trying to intimidate them, and it was working on me. I was right back to the breathless sobbing, holding on even tighter to Esme. Shaking with the effort.

"Call them!" Emmett insisted, "Call them, because I can't let you-"

"Emmett." Esme's firmer voice only seemed to piss him off anymore. Emmett spun, pacing away with both hands knotting into his hair. I held on tighter to Esme, my breathing still tight and panicked. He wasn't done, however.

"She's not going." Emmett argued, "I don't care what I have to do."

"Is that a threat?" Ms. Parker demanded.

"That's a fucking promise." Emmett replied sharply, "You try to take her, come within ten feet of this kid, we _will_ have a problem."

"She's coming with me." Ms. Parker replied evenly, "I'm not leaving here without her."

"No." Edward spoke up, and his icy tone made even me sit back and look at him as everything sort of stopped. Falling silent in the yard for several, incredibly tense moments. The only sound being my attempts at breathing and the running car.

"Call them." Edward told her, "In fact, if you wouldn't mind, I'd like to call them myself."

"Edward?" Esme seemed confused now.

"I really don't want to have to do that." Ms. Parker laughed a little and that was enough to surprise me. Her tone had changed drastically, "I'd like to resolve this without-"

"I must insist." Edward growled. That really seemed to shut her up for a moment. His tone intimidating her right back. My cries had finally quieted as I watched him, whimpering now and then as I tried to figure out what was going on and catch my breath at the same time.

"You won't, because you know." Edward told her, "I suggest you get back in your car, and get as far away from this property as you can before I lose my patience. For your own safety, of course. She isn't going anywhere with you." He was pissed. His quiet tone was even scarier than Emmett's shouting and angry one.

"Excuse-"

"Not another word." Edward cut her off, "Just leave." She didn't seem to know what to say, "And no. I'm sure you won't be getting your money. You disgust me. You're the prime example of everything wrong with humanity." The only way I could describe the way he looked at her now was with deep, fiery hatred. His gaze even intimidated me, and he wasn't even looking at me. If I were her, I'd listen to him.

She was silent for a few more seconds, looking a lot like a deer caught in a set of headlights. Like she didn't know what to say, thoroughly freaked out, until she finally stuttered.

"I-I haven't a clue what you're-"

Edward taking a step forward immediately made her shut up and turn around. To my surprise, she actually did as he told her. Nearly tripping over her own feet as she scurried back around her car. Climbing back in, and slamming the door behind her.

In silence, everyone watched them leave. In a rather big hurry. I almost couldn't believe it. Did that just happen? I coughed, choking through left over sobs. I couldn't help it. I was still pretty damn worked up.

"What was that all about?" Esme asked, surprised.

"Jack hired her." Edward answered, "Leandra was right."

I just hugged Esme's neck again, feeling her tense. No doubt angry. I wasn't exactly surprised that I had been right. I knew I was right. That was the only thing that could possibly make sense. This had been what I was warning myself of.

That news had Esme turning, ascending the porch steps with me. I took the chance for a few more left over sobs, trembling where I rested. I wasn't going anywhere. I was still safe. Thanks to Edward, I wasn't going anywhere and I was still safe.

"Unfortunately, I didn't get an exact location from her thoughts." Edward continued, following us, "Otherwise, I'd be headed there myself. He hired her to come here, give you false information and to take her to him in exchange for a large amount of cash. She won't be calling the police, because she knew exactly what she was doing. If I would have followed her, I would have killed her."

I appreciated the warmth of the house, but I refused to release my hold on Esme. I wasn't done clinging, but she didn't seem to be any closer to letting me go either.

"Then we need to follow her." Emmett growled, "Maybe-"

"She's too afraid to go to him directly." Edward cut him off, "She won't be going to him with bad news." He sighed, "If Leandra hadn't put up a fight until I got here, I hate to think about what might have happened. That woman was obviously trying to get away as quickly as possible."

"Good job, shorty." Emmett murmured back by the door. I didn't say anything to that. I could finally partially breathe again, the panicked sound trembling along with me. I didn't want to risk making that worse by trying to speak.

"You're positive that woman was hired by him?" Carlisle asked.

"One hundred percent." Edward replied instantly.

"She had identification." Esme frowned, sitting down on the couch with me. I adjusted how I sat, to find a more comfortable spot, but that was about it for my movement.

"It was fake." Edward shook his head, "She probably used to work there, or more concerning, might still."

"Carlisle." Esme murmured.

"I'm on it." He immediately said, turning and striding from the room, his phone already out.

I was starting to calm down. Of course, Esme sitting, holding me on the couch helped immensely. I was never more appreciative of her arms around me as I was right then. Not once did I ever feel as comforted by the embrace as I did now.

"Give them hell for me, Carlisle." Emmett muttered after him.

"For all of us." Esme corrected quietly.

"I intend to." Was the response I heard. I was finally calmed down enough to look over.

"Thank you." I whimpered, looking to Edward.

"You're quite welcome." He replied easily.

"Eddy's a regular hero." Emmett chuckled, "Chased that bitch right on out of here, didn't he?" I couldn't help the small, teary smile, but that didn't last longer than a second or two.

"Emmett." Esme corrected him.

"He's going to be mad." I mumbled, "But he's not going to stop trying."

"Well, we'll just have to keep outsmarting him, won't we?" Emmett asked in return, "Now we see the lengths he's willing to go to. He's not getting a hold of you, shorty."

"It was close." I whimpered, looking up at him, "If Edward hadn't been here.." I trailed off, shaking my head a little. I couldn't even imagine what had waited for me.

"Yeah, it was close." Emmett sighed, "I wouldn't have even thought she was full of crap, but you held out just long enough." He frowned a little, looking over at Edward, "How did you know to come back?"

"Carlisle called me right before he got here." He answered, "It didn't sit right with him, the way they'd just show up unexpectedly. Something wasn't right."

"Thank you, Edward." Esme told him as well, and he gave her a nod.

That was about it for the conversation, surprisingly. Probably to give me more of a chance to calm down. My breathing was still quick, closed off, but it wasn't near as bad as it had been just moments before. I rested my eyes, indescribably worn out.

As it turned out, there were questions that needed answered by the police.

Two officers showed up not very long after Carlisle returned to the living room. A man and a woman. I never even bothered to remember their names. I hated the thought of having to talk to them, truly not knowing if they could be trusted either, but I didn't have to answer their questions alone. They didn't try taking me anywhere.

They talked to everyone, so it wasn't just me. Everyone else, because they had more to say than I did. Having had more of a chance to talk to her than I did, as I had been too busy freaking the hell out.

A description of the woman was given, as well as her name. That was probably fake, as nobody would be stupid enough to give their real one. Another description of the man in the car, as well as an exact description of the car he was driving. Right down to the license plate number, and an identifying dent on the rear bumper. The woman went outside immediately to pass that information on, while the man stayed to talk to me.

The fact that I could stay seated with Esme was the only thing that made talking to him at all tolerable. Instead of sitting across Esme's lap, though, I had to sit beside her. That was just so he could look at me, and hear my quiet responses. Since that was the only way I had to move, I could accept that.

The man kneeled beside the couch, offering a gentle smile at me, and I knew it was my turn. I was tense, but I couldn't help that. I'd already dealt with too much already.

"I just have a few questions for you, darling." He told me, and I looked down, "Just a few. I promise."

Nervously, I looked up at Esme.

"It's okay." She assured me, and I took a breath. Looking back down, I nodded a little, letting him know that I was as prepared as I was ever going to be.

"This woman." The man started, "Had you ever seen her before?" Knowing why he'd need to know that from me, I hesitated, thinking hard about it. Searching my memories for anyone that might have looked like her.

"No." I finally answered nearly silently, "I've never seen her before in my life." He nodded, writing that down.

"And you're convinced that your stepdad is behind this?" He asked, looking back up.

"Stop calling him my stepdad." I grumbled, "I don't want to be related to him anymore." I was fully aware that I wasn't actually related to him, but I still carried his last name, due to Jack adopting me when I was young. I hated that fact. I didn't need reminded of it every time I turned around. Least of all right then.

"Of course." He nodded a little, "I'm sorry. You believe that.. Mr. Wallace was to blame for this?"

"Yes." I replied quietly, "Him and his dad are the only two people who hate me enough to try something like that."

"I see." He nodded again, writing that down next before looking to me again, "Just one more question. Do you have any idea why they'd do this?"

"Because I told." I answered, keeping as much attitude from my tone as I could, "They hate me because I told on Jack. They knew they couldn't come here to get me themselves, so they must have sent her instead." Apparently, that was enough of an answer as he wrote that down as well.

"You've been very cooperative, Leandra." He murmured after a minute of writing, "Thank you." I nodded this time. It relieved me to see him stand up. That hadn't been so hard. Not nearly as hard as it was to talk to them a year prior.

"Good job, sweetie." Esme murmured to me, smoothing my hair down my back. I scooted closer to her, closing my eyes. I was so grateful he'd kept his word. Keeping his questions few, and very easy to answer.

With a promise to call Carlisle as soon as they caught them, Carlisle walked him out.

"Didn't I tell you?" Emmett asked, and I opened my eyes again, "I knew you'd give that bitch one hell of a fight." He was referencing the discussion we'd had months before about strangers. That suddenly seemed like impossibly long ago, though.

"No matter how important they say they are." I sniffled a little.

"Emmett." Esme sighed, "Please stop with the language."

"I'm sorry," He said, "But I'm not calling that.. Thing a woman. Anyone who would try to trade in a kid for money, no matter how much he offered her, really doesn't deserve to be considered human, much less a woman."

"I second that." Edward murmured from where he stood to the side. I agreed with him, but I didn't feel like saying that. I still felt sick, shaken up. Edward looked to me.

"They take these things very seriously, Leandra." He told me, "It won't take long for them to catch those two."

I was told the same thing about Jack, and he had yet to be caught. Needless to say, I didn't believe him in the slightest. I didn't like what I had just gone through had done to me. I could feel a change, a difference.

Edward didn't reply to that. He didn't have to, as Carlisle returned.

I looked up at him, watching as he sat directly to my other side on the couch. Sort of boxing me in, but I didn't mind that. He seemed distracted, but this time, I knew why. I couldn't blame him in the slightest, because I felt the same way. I just wasn't as good at hiding it.

"Leandra?" Esme asked, and I looked up at her, "Are you hungry?" Was she kidding?

"No." I replied quietly. It shouldn't have taken me so long to figure out that she was either trying to distract me from being distracted, or wanting to get me out of the way so they could talk about me.

"If I make something, will you at least try to eat?" She asked, and I sighed.

"I'll try." I replied, and she nodded. Giving me a reassuring but brief side hug, she stood. Alice followed her, Jasper following Alice. Maybe they were worried about how out of it I still seemed. I was still very out of it.

"Edward." Carlisle spoke up, "Would you please go have a talk with Charlie about the situation? I want to be sure he's aware of what's going on, and I feel it'd be better to gauge his response in person." Meaning, read his thoughts.

"I'm not exactly his favorite person right now, but I'll make an attempt."

"I'm sure if you mention that it's about Leandra, he'll be far more interested in hearing what you have to say." Carlisle suggested.

Edward gave a nod, "Keep an eye on her, Carlisle." I knew he meant me. Carlisle nodded as well before Edward turned, leaving.

Everything felt oddly surreal, like once everything had started to slow down, it slowed down a lot more than it should have. My thoughts sluggish, and hard to focus on. I was tired, very tired, and the only option I had now was just staring at nothing.

I would have been stuck there, staring at nothing probably for the rest of the day without a complaint, but Carlisle's phone suddenly rang beside me. That made me jump a little, shaking me out of it and having me glance over at him briefly before looking back down at my hands.

The only move he made was to answer it, but unfortunately, I was sitting close enough to him for me to hear the voice on the other end of the line.

"Carlisle." His voice was very clear, "Well, well. Finally we talk." I tensed, looking up at him again. That was the only movement I made.

"Who is this?" Carlisle asked, but I had a feeling my reaction might have given him idea. My heart had started to race again so quick, it hurt.

"Who do you think this is?" I knew exactly who it was.

"Jack." I whimpered. I wanted to move away, but I couldn't. Completely stuck in my fear. Paralyzed. I heard his laugh, probably in response to my voice so close.

"What do you want?" Carlisle asked, his confusion solved as he looked down at me.

"If I'm right, you're probably looking right at it." Jack replied, "You know what I want. See, I'm a pretty patient guy, Carlisle, but even I have my limits. Give that little bitch the phone. I want to talk to her."

"Absolutely not." Carlisle told him easily.

Emmett had moved forward, lifting me away with a glare at the phone. I wasn't close enough to hear anymore, for which I was grateful. Clinging to Emmett's neck now, which seemed more than acceptable to him. Trembling lightly as I looked to Carlisle again, and he returned my gaze. Given his silence, Jack was still talking. I could only imagine the things he was hearing.

Esme came in from the kitchen, the other two following her, and their expression said it all. They could hear everything Jack was saying, obviously horrified as Carlisle had heard enough. Hanging up the phone sharply.

"I'm sorry." I whimpered quietly. I'd never expected Jack to actually call. For the oddest reasons, I never expected Carlisle to ever have to talk to Jack. It was just something I never thought about.

"Don't be." Carlisle replied instantly, "Leandra, it's not your fault."

"What did he say?" I wasn't even sure I wanted to know. Taking a breath in, Carlisle shook his head. He wouldn't tell me, and I didn't blame him. I also couldn't help feeling grateful that he wouldn't tell me. I had a very vague idea of what they probably heard. The phone rang in his hand again, but Carlisle quickly silenced it. Not bothering to answer it this time.

"I want to trace that number." Emmett muttered, setting me on my feet, "Maybe it can tell us where he is." Thankfully, I was close enough to the couch to keep myself from falling. My legs were less than cooperative, threatening to give out even with my grip on the couch.

Carlisle sighed, handing him the phone as I sat back down beside him, curling into a ball. Jack's phone call had only made everything real again. Alice came back forward, probably worried about my renewed trembles. Any other time, I'd have been crying or at least wanting to, but as it stood right now, I wasn't and I knew that Jasper wasn't the entire reason.

"Leandra?" Alice spoke, and I looked to her, "Are you okay?" Even I could tell that I was so far from okay, it was worrying.

"No." I whimpered, "I didn't want this."

"I know." She replied, "It's okay. He can't get to you."

"Do you remember?" I asked, looking up, "Remember what I said when you first brought me here? You don't know what he can do." She looked down, "You didn't know then, but you do now, don't you? You're starting to get it."

"It makes no difference." She told me, "Leandra, we're just as determined to keep you safe now as we were then. Despite all the attempts he's made, you're still here. Doesn't that count for anything?"

I didn't bother replying to that. It wasn't just that that I was worried about. She glanced to Carlisle, but he was already watching me.

She spoke again, "Do you want some water or anything?" Water did sound nice.

I nodded a little, "Please." Eager to help, she nodded and stood up. Passing Emmett on his way back into the room. Irritated as I'd ever seen him.

"We have a problem." He said, and Carlisle looked to him. Emmett set a laptop on the coffee table, sitting to Carlisle's other side on the couch, "The only way he'll stay on the phone long enough is if he can talk to her. He knows we want to trace the number."

"I can do it." I mumbled, and they looked to me, surprised.

"Are you sure?" Carlisle asked me.

"I'm sure." I replied, "How long do I have to talk to him?"

"As long as you can, shorty." Emmett replied, "I need the phone to be in use, or it just doesn't work." I nodded a little, taking a breath. I had to prepare myself for whatever he might say, because I knew they'd hear every word.

I reached for the phone, and hesitantly, he handed it to me. I tried to hide how bad I was trembling, but I knew it was obvious. The unknown number was already up, so all I had to do was press the little green button.

"Are you sure about letting her do this?" Esme and Alice both came further into the room, Jasper in tow.

"If it helps find him." Emmett replied, "It's worth a shot, isn't it?"

"But at her expense?" Esme asked.

"I can do it." I repeated, looking up at her as she came to my side, "Or I can try."

"You're awesome, shorty." Emmett told me, and I took a breath. Continuing to hesitate, staring at the phone.

"Is it bad to say I'm afraid?" I whimpered.

"We know." Alice replied, "It's understandable." She held out the glass of water to me. I took it gratefully. She sighed, "You don't have to do this."

"If it helps." I muttered, "I know what he's probably going to say. I just wish everyone else didn't have to hear it."

"Trust me, we can handle it." Emmett offered, "It's you we're worried about."

"Would you like my help?" Jasper asked me, and I took another breath.

"Just a little bit." I replied, and he nodded. It would be nice to have every bit of fear taken, but for the oddest reasons, I wanted to do this as much on my own as I could. I just didn't know how long that would last until I'd be begging him to make me numb.

The stabbing fear eased to an ache, and I sighed deeply. Nodding. Jasper nodded again, understanding.

"Thanks." I mumbled.

"If you can't handle it, just let us know." Esme murmured, sitting to my other side again. I glanced to her. I was scared. It'd be stupid not to be.

What would he have to say to me after so long? I knew the answer to that, but they probably had no idea what they were about to hear. Even with the sample they got earlier. The fact that Emmett thought they could handle it told me it really hadn't been that bad, but Jack couldn't help himself. He wanted to scare me, and to do that, it would get bad.

I took the opportunity for another sip of water. It helped a little bit, if only to help me speak when I really didn't want to. Closing my eyes, I pressed the little green button. The ringing tone scared me at first, making me jump a little.

"Make it fast, Emmett." Jasper told him quietly. It took three rings before Jack finally answered.

"Did you think about what I said?" He asked in greeting.

"Jack." I muttered, knowing he needed to know it was me.

"Ah." I heard the grin in his tone, "There you are." He was thrilled he was getting his way. As he always was.

"Here I am." I made my trembling voice as strong as I could, "What do you want?"

"What?" He asked, "No 'hi'? No 'how are you'? Where the fuck did your manners go?" I didn't bother replying to that, glancing over at Esme's sad expression while Jack continued, "I haven't talked to you in over a year, bitch. Is it a crime to want to talk to you?"

"Yes." I murmured, "It actually is, I think."

"Well, tough shit." He countered, "This way, I get what I want, and they get what they want. It's a win-win. Just watch that smart mouth of yours."

"Just say what you want to say."

"I've waited a year for this." Jack barked, "Hold your goddamn horses. First things first. Put the phone on speaker."

"No."

"Do it." Obviously a command, I stupidly flinched, closing my eyes, "And that fucking word is gonna get you skinned, little girl. I own your ass. You don't tell me 'no'."

Honestly, I hadn't prepared myself to feel like this. I'd almost forgotten, it seemed, just what actually hearing his voice could do to me. I didn't know what to do. Frozen in place. Nervously, I looked over at Carlisle. He reached over, taking the phone from me slowly and pressing a button on the side of it.

"I'm listening." Carlisle set the phone lightly on the table. I was selfishly glad I wasn't the only one that had to talk to him. I took the few seconds before Jack spoke to close my eyes, steeling myself with the little bit of Jasper's help I allowed. Esme offered her support with a smooth of my back, which I accepted gratefully.

"Good." Jack said, "At least someone knows what's good for them." He paused, and I looked to Carlisle again. He didn't seem bothered yet, and I hoped he could hold out, because I sure wasn't, despite the way this really wasn't that bad yet. A few curse words, but he wasn't angry yet. He didn't have that tone that scared me so badly, and half my fear now was waiting for that to happen.

"How the fuck did you figure out that bitch was fake?" Jack asked, moving along.

"It was obvious." Carlisle replied, "I make it a habit to keep in touch with them, and a random visit like that isn't something they usually do."

"Damn." Jack chuckled, "I underestimated you, Carlisle, but it won't happen again. I promise."

"I must admit the same." Carlisle muttered.

"Keep that in mind." He replied, "I always keep my promises. It's just sometimes, that little slut refuses to cooperate." I kept my whimper as quiet as I could. Glancing over at Emmett, he seemed tense. Concentrating on what he was doing. Jasper standing beside him, frowning at the screen of the laptop. I couldn't really see anything from where I was sitting. I had no idea what I'd even be looking at if I could.

"Please." Carlisle said, "Refrain from using language like that."

"Why?" Jack asked, laughing, "Does it bother you? Or is it too much on that little bitch's sensitive little ears?"

"What the fuck do you want, Jack?" I snapped, unable to keep the light tremble from my voice.

"Whoa." He was deeply amused by that, "Listen to you. So tough. So big and bad now? Tell me. How long did it take you to grow a fucking backbone?"

"You don't scare me anymore."

"Yes I do." He replied confidently, not a hint of doubt in his voice, "I did my job, and I know I did it well. You're fucking terrified, because you know what's coming for you." I squeezed my eyes shut again briefly. This was torture on me, "Should I remind you?"

"No." I answered him immediately, and he chuckled again, "I remember."

"What'd I always tell you?" He asked, "Come on." I drew my knees up, curling into a ball.

"Anything?" Esme asked, her eyes on Emmett. He didn't reply either way, though. He needed to hurry.

"Yeah." Jack sighed, "You know what's coming for you, so don't you fucking tell me you're not afraid. As it stands right now, I have access to acres, and acres of long unused farmland." He murmured, "Miles between there and the nearest person. I could bury you alive, and let you suffocate. I could-"

I covered my ears with my hands. Clenching my teeth. Biting back sobs as hard as I could. Esme wrapped her arms around me, letting me know she was there. Jasper even looked up, his crossed arms tensing visibly. I hated hearing these things from him. He was talking normally right then, but every other time I'd hear those things, it was in the dark.

"Talk to me, Jack." Carlisle spoke up before he could say any more, "Isn't that what you wanted in the first place?" He was trying to take his focus off of me. As miserable as I was, I appreciated Carlisle's effort.

"Don't listen to him." Esme murmured quietly to me, "I know it's hard, but I promise he'll never get to you." I nodded a little, my eyes still shut tight. I couldn't help it.

"I almost had you today, bitch." Jack continued, not having heard Esme or paid any attention to Carlisle, "I was _this_ fucking close. Just remember this. I'm about done playing around with you, and you're starting to piss me off. The longer you put it off, the worse it'll get for you, and for that family you're hiding behind."

Once again, I looked over at Carlisle.

"Trust me." Jack continued, "It's not hard to hire someone to get close enough. How do you think I knew when you were in school? Yet, somehow you always knew when I'd call ahead, and were never there. How did you do that, by the way?"

"Who was it?" Carlisle asked.

"Was I fucking talking to you?" Jack asked in reply, "You wait your goddamn turn." I winced, looking apologetically to Carlisle. He didn't seem phased in the slightest, though.

"Who was it?" I asked instead, my voice trembling audibly.

"Well, you're not there anymore, so I guess I could come clean." He relented, "That counselor you hated? Yeah, there's probably a reason you didn't like her." I _knew_ it.

"You were in contact with her?" Carlisle asked, and that seemed acceptable this time.

"Closely." Jack confirmed, "And that principal."

I felt sick again.

"But anyway." Jack added, "As I was saying, it's not hard to get someone close enough to do my work for me from miles away. I just proved that, I think. Just don't be surprised when shit starts going wrong for you, Carlisle. Until you hand over my property, I can make your life a living hell."

"Don't." I muttered, unable to help it, and his following quiet chuckle was a dark one.

"Remember the phone call, Carlisle?" Jack went on, ignoring me now, "The concerned phone call back in New York? You know that anywhere she ends up when she's taken from you, I'll know exactly where she is. You can't guard her forever."

"I have ways around that." Carlisle replied simply before I could get too afraid, "That shouldn't be an issue much longer."

"Good." Jack was smiling, "That's great. I'm all for making this a real challenge for me. Fight back, for fuck's sake."

"I plan on continuing to."

"Good." He repeated, "I have to admit. You're not making it easy on me, Carlisle."

"I know." Carlisle replied, "I don't intend to make it easy on you. She deserves a whole lot better."

Jack laughed, "What? Where the hell did you get that idea from? She loves what I've always done to her." I shook my head immediately.

"Are you really that stupid?" Alice asked, "Or just insane?"

"Neither, bitch." He replied easily, "I'm determined. I'm a very ambitious person, and honestly, I don't really feel like explaining myself to some stupid bitch with a big mouth. Don't you have a boyfriend that can smack you back into your place? He really needs to get on that." Jasper's eyes darkened.

"Don't talk to her like that." I spoke up.

"You shut the fuck up." Jack told me, "You're in enough fucking trouble." Alice gave me a look, silently telling me not to worry about it.

"Now," Jack went on, "I'm sure by now you've realized that this phone is impossible to trace. Sure, you've got a general location based on the three closest cell towers, but Seattle is a big place. I could be anywhere within that five square mile radius. No SIM card, no GPS. Without those things, you can't narrow it down, and by the time you even get here, I could be halfway to Canada. I know my shit."

Emmett's hand hit the table beside the laptop, obviously irritated, telling me Jack was right. I looked over at him. It wasn't a win-win. Just a win for him. Emmett went to reach for the phone, probably to end the call, but Carlisle held up a hand. Stopping him. Puzzled, he looked to Carlisle at the same time I did.

"Just think about it, Carlisle." Jack sighed, "You seem like a smart guy. I'll be honest. I don't want to fuck with you. I really don't, but the longer you keep me from what I want, the less I care about what happens to you, or that hot little wife of yours." I cringed, hugging my knees tighter as Esme's arms tightened around me. More in a way to comfort me.

"How much of your stuff needs to burn to the ground?" Jack asked, "How much of your reputation needs to go up in smoke? I'll destroy anyone's life if they get in my way, Carlisle. I'd burn things down for her. I'd kill for her. You have what I want. All I want is her. That's it. That filthy little piece of garbage sitting next to you. That's what I want."

"You're not getting her." Emmett decided to chime in.

"Oh, I'll get her." Jack replied, "Don't you worry about that. It's just a matter of how I'll get her that will make the fucking difference for you. Make this easy, and nothing will happen. You have my word on that. Make it difficult, though.." He trailed off for a moment, "Well, that's a whole different fucking story. I don't want to fuck with you, Carlisle, but you really don't want to fuck with me either. You work with my sister again, don't you?" I bit my lip, "I wouldn't do anything that could risk her, but I'd really watch my back if I were you."

"I'm really not that concerned." Carlisle admitted easily. How was he so calm? I really wanted to be as tough as he was.

"You want her so damn bad?" Emmett asked, "Come here and get her."

"I'm not that fucking stupid." Jack replied, "That slut has got you all ready to stand in front of her. Willing to take the fall for her selfish actions. How fair is that?"

"Coward." I whimpered at Emmett's retort, "Come on. I just want a friendly chat. Face-to-face. Let's just talk it over." What the hell was he doing? He was only going to piss him off.

"I'm anything but a coward." But Jack was having fun, "Now, I put the work into that little slut, and I want it back. I don't give a shit what I have to do, who I have to go through to get it. With that said, are you going to give her up?"

Emmett laughed, "No."

"Absolutely not." Carlisle answered firmly. Not a hint of doubt in his tone.

Jack sighed, "Okay, your choice. Just remember that I could be anywhere, Carlisle, and I don't even have to be there. Don't you dare fucking say you weren't warned."

I looked over at Esme nervously.

"Are you sure you don't want to stop in for a visit?" Emmett asked, "Come on.."

"I'm good, actually." He replied, "I think I prefer the stealthier approach. You know, the whole you-won't-even-see-me-coming sort of thing is a whole lot more fun for me. It'd be a whole lot more fun for me to let her be there one day, and the next.. Poof. I like to play with her a little bit, if you hadn't noticed, but I really should have tied that bitch to a goddamn tree the first chance I got. By her fucking neck." I looked down.

"I still say you're a coward." Emmett replied, "She's, what? Half your size?"

"Size doesn't matter." He pointed out simply, "I've always kind of admired the way she'd scamper away like a scared little rabbit the second she had the chance." At that reference, I looked up at Esme again. She understood it. He chuckled, "I like the hunt. The chase."

"I'd be a whole lot more fun to play with." Emmett told him, "I guarantee it. I'd have a whole lot of fun."

"Stop it." I muttered, looking to Emmett.

"I'm not afraid of this fucker." Emmett scoffed, "He can threaten us until the cows come home, but I think he's just pissed because nothing he tries ever works. He's pathetic." I gave him an incredulous look, but Jack only chuckled.

"We'll see." Jack replied.

"Hurry it up, Jack." I clearly heard the command from Ken somewhere in the background, and whimpered. Hiding my face against my knees again.

"Ken." I explained nearly silently at their slight confusion. Thankfully, too low for Jack to hear. It was Ken that had finally pushed me enough to run that day. That mattered, and that made a difference.

"By the way," Jack spoke again, "My dad says hi. He's got his own punishment planned for you, and I can't say that I'm too against it at this point, but he's _really_ looking forward to it. Especially after what you did to him."

I clenched my teeth again, barely keeping myself from throwing up. Why weren't they ending the call yet? They couldn't trace his location, so what was the point of this? I stayed silent, but I hated this. Esme held me tighter, probably knowing exactly what he meant. I shuddered, whimpering almost silently but miserably.

"You're revolting." Alice growled, glaring at the phone.

"Speaking of dads.." Jack spoke again, ignoring her, "How's your dad doing, you little bitch?"

My heart dropped, and I looked to the phone again, as if he could see that. I knew what he was getting at.

"Or that little black haired cutie in New York?" Jack added when I never replied, "She sure is something, isn't she? I've kept my distance from her so far, but I can feel that control slipping. It'd be _so_ easy-"

"Leave her out of this." I mumbled breathlessly, "And my dad. They have nothing-"

"But they do." He replied, laughing, "Everyone you ever knew, everyone you've ever spoken to, are all fair game to me. And I do mean that literally. One by one, they'll know what you did to them just by existing, and I'll be sure to let them know that it is your fault. Because it is. It is your fault, you selfish bitch, and you can't tell anyone otherwise."

I squeezed my eyes shut, hiding my eyes again.

"Oh, and Leandra.." Jack chuckled, the sound straight from my nightmares, "Sleep tight at least one more night, my little whore, but I'll be seeing you again soon enough. I'll have you again. Count on that." I shivered roughly, "You don't know when, and you don't know how, but I'm coming for you.

"Next time, you won't have the chance to run away, like you did in that store. And Christ, you sure have grown, haven't you? Has it really only been a year? It feels like just yesterday, my hand was around your fucking neck, pinning you against the goddamn wall-"

"Please." I whispered, looking up at Esme, "I can't take anymore."

"Are you quite finished?" Carlisle asked, his tone bored. His indifference was only in his tone, however. His expression told a different story. He looked to me, and I knew he knew exactly what this was doing to me. I was as far away from the phone as my current seating position would allow. Esme holding me tight against her side, but I was curled into the smallest ball I could manage.

All of this was with Jasper's help, but he was getting pissed himself. Losing his focus on me.

"I'm far from finished, Carlisle." Jack replied, "This isn't nearly over. See, I consider what you did theft. You and that bitch wife of yours stole that little fucking slut from me, when you really had no right to do that." I didn't miss Emmett's growl as he stood up, "So no. I'm not fucking finished. I won't be fucking finished until I have that slut in my hands again, and I can really show her where her fucking place is. Just like her mama."

He was getting pissed. It was this tone I always knew to be wary of. It clicked something in my mind, making me feel just as cornered as I always felt when I heard it. I lowered my head, hiding once more, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop listening.

Jack spoke sharply this time, "Don't call again unless you're ready to play by the rules."

Thankfully, Jack hung up before I really started to cry. I felt like I'd been punched in the stomach, and he wasn't even anywhere near me. Shaking with silent, breathless sobs. Having gone a year to hear those kinds of words from him didn't do anything to lessen how harshly they affected me now. Like the wounds he'd caused had never closed. Reminding me just what he could do with only words.

"And you grew up with that psychopath?" Emmett was the first to speak, but I didn't hear him. My silent sobs finally broke, and he knew he wasn't getting a response. I felt so torn again, and I ached inside. It hurt so bad.

Not only that, but I didn't want this for them. He was forcing me into a very difficult situation, and I was suddenly faced with two options. Let him hurt everyone I ever cared about in one way or another, or go to him.

"Don't listen to him, shorty." Emmett told me, "He's just trying to scare you."

"It's working." I cried. Even with Jasper's help, I was shaking like a leaf, "I'm sorry."

"Leandra, this isn't your fault." Carlisle murmured, "We'll figure this out."

"I didn't want this." I sobbed, shaking my head against my knees, "I didn't want this for you. This is what I didn't want to happen. I didn't want him going after you. I have to go to him."

"Like hell." Emmett muttered, surprised.

"No." Esme agreed with him.

Emmett continued, "Whether you like it or not, you're going to be protected, dammit. There's no way you're going anywhere near him."

"I agree." Carlisle replied, "I honestly couldn't care less about objects, Leandra. You're more important than any possession."

"But my dad?" I asked, tears flooding from my eyes as I finally looked up, "Alyssa?"

"This is a good thing, Leandra." He told me, and for a moment, I actually wondered if he had lost his mind. He decided to explain, "We know where his focus is now. It's maybe a twenty minute run for us from here to New York. Even less, depending on the time of day. Emmett can go back, and keep watch over her there."

"Sure thing." Emmett agreed.

"I can do that." Rose actually offered from her silent spot by the stairs, "Or we can take turns. Em can stay here during the day, in case she needs him." That shocked me. She was willing to do that?

"Thank you, Rosalie." Carlisle told her, deeply appreciative, and she nodded a little.

"I can keep an eye on your dad." Alice offered, and I looked to her, "He's really close, so it wouldn't be a problem."

"If Jack gets anywhere near them, we'll know." Carlisle assured me, and though that did help a little, I still felt bad. This was a pretty decent inconvenience to them. Still seeing my hesitancy, Emmett chuckled.

"It's not for good, shorty." He said, "Just until Jack-ass makes his move. Then, it's game over."

"And we'll let them know." Esme spoke, "They'll know to be careful."

I just sobbed quietly now, resting my forehead on my drawn up knees once more. I wouldn't even know the first place to start looking anyway. He never gave me any sort of way to find him, or any instructions on how I was supposed to get to him.

They seemed pretty confident that this could be over soon. I felt very vulnerable, though. Scared, and very insecure. I didn't doubt that that had everything to do with having to talk to him again, but I couldn't help that. My job now was to hold on. Just hold on a little longer.

Oddly enough, I wasn't sure if I could do that. I was crumbling again, and I knew it.

**END**

**A/N: My, that was a busy little chapter, wasn't it? If it's a little mixed up, I apologize.  
THANK YOU to those AMAZING reviewers! Not only for last chapter, but throughout the story! I probably wouldn't be posting this if it weren't for you guys. :) It's you guys that keep these stories going! :):)  
So. As for next story.  
As you can probably tell, a lot is going to change. I'm just going to say right now that I haven't the slightest clue yet just how much this change is going to change the coming stories, so please bear with me.  
That said, it's going to take me a little bit of time to get the next few chapters rolling, as they need to be written from scratch. I'll be working on those probably over the next week or so, depending on my focus.  
Until next story, my friends! :D**


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